SHADY interviews SPINIA

By Joshua

Joshua: Let’s see… Who can I interview next…?

(Shady brings Joshua a cup of coffee.)

Joshua: I TOLD YOU TO GET ME JASMINE TEA, FOO’!!!

Shady: (bowing down) I’m sorry, Master! I’m sorry! We’re in Rogueport! No one sells tea!

Joshua: They do in Poshley Heights! You can either get my tea, or interview Spinia.

Shady: … I’ll interview.

Joshua: Dang, that means I have to get my own tea.

(He levitates somehow, and begins to fly to Rogueport Station.)

Shady: … He could’ve just sent Petey Piranha…

Joshua (from the distance): SILENCE, NON-BELIEVER!!!

Shady: How is he that loud from so far away?

Joshua: BECAUSE THE AUTHOR SAID SO!!!

Author: Darn skippy.

Shady: Joshua’s Travelling Temporarily Super Interview Show!

Lemmy: …

Shady: Are you going to say something?

Lemmy holds up a sign that says “I have laryngitis. Lemmy’s Interview Show!”

(Shady shell shoots Lemmy into the distance.)

Shady: Time to interview Spinia!

Spinia: Hi!

Shady: What is a Spinia?

Spinia: Discs of metal that have been possessed by a Boo. Watch.

(A Boo comes out of Spinia, who immediately crumples. The discs turn grey.)

Shady: Then why do we call you Spinias?

Boo: Because we like spinning really fast! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(He starts spinning really fast.)

Shady: … That would’ve been less weird if you had possessed the discs again.

Boo: Silence, non-believer!

Shady: … That’s the 28th time someone’s said that to me today.

Boo: Huh?

Shady: There are things about me that you, or anyone else, must never know.

(Twilight Zone music plays.)

Boo: …

(He possesses the metal again, and becomes a Spinia.)

Shady: Was King Boo ever a Spinia?

Spinia: No, he was a Spunia. This is why he had a roulette attack in that really bad unnamed platformer on the GameCube.

Shady: So, what’s with the color changing thing?

Spinia: Well, it depends on the metal. When a Boo possesses metal, depending on the hardness of the metal, it will become a Spinia, a Spania, or a Spunia. The metal then changes color to signify this.

Shady: Then why do Spanias and Spunias have spikes on their heads?

Spinia: They grow them thanks to the possession magic.

Shady: Why do you have eyes?

Spinia: Possession magic.

Shady: STOP SAYING THAT!!! How are you able to spin so fast? … Why is there no filler?

Spinia: I don’t know about the lack of filler, but we can spin fast because the metal is smooth, so less friction is generated when we spin, so we can spin faster.

(Joshua, Engarde, Touché, and Crump are attempting to board the Excess Express.)

Conductor Toad: Sir, you don’t have a train pass, ergo, you can’t enter this train!

Touché: … Ergo?

CT: It’s my word of the day, and I got to use it before lunch!

Crump: Now how do we get to Poshley Heights?

Joshua: Use your head!

Joshua, Touché, and Engarde pick up Crump like a battering ram and charge at the conductor.

Crump: But I don’t wanna use my head!!!

(All 4 yell as they charge, and knock the conductor to Corona Mountain. They keep charging and end up in cabin 5.)

Crump (out cold): …

Engarde: Where’d you come up with an idea like that?

Joshua: Toy Story 2!  ^_^

Engarde: …

Crump: …

Joshua: I get it, you’re unconscious… I call top bunk!

Engarde and Touché: Dang.

Crump: …

Engarde: Now what?

Touché: We shall… go to the place where partners go!

Engarde: … That’s stupid.

Touché: So?

Engarde: … As much as I hate you, I can’t argue with that logic. Let’s go!

Engarde and Touché jump into Joshua’s pocket, which leads to another dimension, AKA The Place Where Partners Go.

Engarde: … Now what?

Touché: … Fight?

Engarde: Ok. (BROTHER.)

Lightning cracks behind Engarde.

Touché: … How do you keep doing that?

Engarde: … I don’t know.

Pikachu: Pika! (It’s me. Sorry!)

(Guess what happens.)

(Meanwhile, Joshua is strolling around the train.)

Shady Parakoopa: Pay me for Mr. Ignorable!

Joshua: NEVAH!

(Joshua kicks him off the train and into the nearest hillbilly pit.)

Joshua: I have a bad feeling about this…

Shady: … That was weird.

Spinia: So, are you gonna ask me a question or what?

Shady: No. It’s audience time! Seat BRAWL BOSS!

Petey: Dude, you’re not supposed to call out OUR seats.

Shady: Silence, non-believer! Ask a question!

Petey: … What’s holding the discs up?

Spinia: Well, the discs just give off a small magnetic pull, which allow them to float when a Boo possesses them.

Shady: Seat DEAD GUY!

Dry Bones: So, does the magnetic pull keep the spikes attached to Spanias and Spunias?

Spinia: No, they’re grown, and that’s how they stay attached.

Shady: Finally… Seat FORTUNETELLER!

Merluvlee: Why do Spunias have more attack and HP than Spanias?

Spinia: It’s because the metal is harder and more durable.

Shady: Ok, end transmission!

(Joshua returns with a crown on his head, riding Toodles’s horse, and with a pot of jasmine tea under his arm.)

Joshua: You’ll never guess where I’ve been!

Techno Guy: … Poshley Heights?

Joshua: … Yes.

Shady: Where are Engarde, Touché, and Crump?

Joshua: The Place Where Partners Go! ^_^

Scorch: … Aren’t you going to get them out?

Joshua: Why?

Scorch: …

END TRANSMISSION

Author’s Note: Don’t worry; they’re not leaving the crew.

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