Kamek's Killer

By abcd

(Note: This includes Bowser Jr. I don’t normally include him, but this story needed it)

On a dark and stormy night, Kamek Koopa was practicing his magic in his room, minding his own business, when suddenly he was hit with a baseball bat on top of his head by a child of Bowser. He was instantly knocked out. That same Koopa then slit Kamek’s neck with a knife.

The next morning, when the Koopa royal family ate breakfast, everything seemed normal. Suddenly, Roy realized that something was wrong. “Hey Iggy,” he asked, “do you know where Kamek is?”

Iggy replied, “No, I don’t. Does anyone else know where he is?”

Morton said, “We should go look for him.

Bowser commanded, “You stay here. I’ll go find him. I have a bad feeling about this…” Bowser ran up to Kamek’s room as fast as a Koopa of his size could possibly run. Inside, he saw Kamek dead, with a knife in his back. There was no way this was suicide. Kamek could not have possible gotten the knife in his back forcefully enough to kill himself. Bowser realized that he would have to tell his children that their good friend had been murdered.

Meanwhile, the younger Koopas were chatting. “Where do you think Kamek is?” Wendy asked Bowser Jr.

Bowser Jr. replied, “I dunno. I bet Ludwig transformed him into a frog!”

Ludwig responded, “That’s preposterous! I have way more than enough frogs!”

Suddenly Bowser trudged downstairs, and his children fell silent. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I guess the best way to do this is without beating around the bush. Kamek’s dead. But before he died, he wrote a note in blood. It said, “Kids”. I’m assuming that means one of you has killed him.”

The children were shocked. That is, all but one.

Bowser continued, “His funeral will be today behind the castle. I expect all of you to be there.”

After the funeral was over, Bowser called his kids over to a distant section of the yard and talked to them. He said, “I don’t know which one of you killed him, but one of you is going to pay. To decide who, you will be fighting each other. The losers of each match will be randomly drawn to face another loser. The loser of this tournament will go to the dungeons until another has been proven guilty. I’ve already drawn up a bracket. First battle starts now.”

Round 1

Match 1: A Koopa who has yet to say a word fought their older sibling who had, at one point, owned a castle in the clouds. After a fierce struggle, the cloud-dwelling Koopa pinned their sibling to the ground, emerging victorious.

Match 2: A Koopa who had been in space fought a sibling who enjoyed sweets a lot. The sweet-loving Koopaling was immediately pummeled by their sibling.

Match 3: A blue-haired Koopa fought a younger sibling. The older of the pair broke the younger’s glasses, rendering him/her incapable of fighting.

Match 4: Kamek’s killer fought a sibling who never touched the ground. After the battle, the killer did not participate in another fight.

Round 2

Match 5: The oldest Koopa who lost in their first round threw their opponent into a pool. That Koopa had to be saved by another sibling.

Match 6: A Koopa who felt their first battle was unfair was also hindered in their next battle. That allowed them to be defeated by their sibling who had World 7 in at least one game.

Round 3

Match 7: The two Koopas fought a battle that was so close, both were nearly killed. Each Koopa knew that this was a battle for freedom. One Koopa began with a kick to the other’s windpipe, and the other responded by setting their opponent on fire using their wand. Eventually, the older Koopa was victorious.

Bowser turned to the loser. “Off to the dungeons for you!” That Koopa sulked and slowly walked to the dungeon. Nobody ever learned who Kamek’s killer truly was.

Who was Kamek’s killer?
Who was thrown in the dungeon?

And the answer is...

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