By Lemmy Koopa
Da da duh da duh da duh da duh duh duh duhh, duh duh duh dah da daaaaaa da! That’s all folks!
“Hey!” snapped Lemmy. “What happened to my Mystery?
“It seems to be missing, gone, not around, lost, non-existant, perhaps even void,” replied Morton.
“Just like you’ll be if you don’t stop talking!” snapped Roy.
“What?” complained Morton. “You should be happy, excited, joyous, thrilled to hear me talk. I am been missing, gone, not around, lost, non-existant, perhaps even void for the last week, since I was away on business, work, my serious duties.”
Roy tossed Morton out of the window. “There!” he said, dusting his hands. “Now maybe we can find out who did this.”
“This is not right!” snapped Lemmy. “I wrote down the true course of the events of a Mystery, but now it’s all gone! Who could have done it?
“I bet it was some one bad!” concluded Iggy.
“It hypothosize that it must have been the guilty party, who desired to maintain the dignity of their name. Can you recall the one in question?”
“No, whoever did it must somehow have brainwashed me,” answered Lemmy.
“LUDWIG!” pointed Larry, Wendy, Iggy, and Roy.
“I have committed no act of thievery!” snapped Ludwig. “Can you locate any amount of evidence?”
“Well, who do you think did it?” Lemmy asked Ludwig.
“I lack sufficient evidence, but I propose Roy,” suggested Ludwig. “He is the most aggressive of this room’s inhabitants, and I am sure that he would not risk being found guilty of a crime.”
“Say one more word and die!” threatened Roy. The room was silent for all of a minute.
“It certainly couldn’t be me!” explained Iggy. “I can’t even remember the last time I committed a crime.”
“That’s not the only thing he can’t remember,” Wendy whispered to Larry.
“Aha!” pointed Lemmy. “Were you two sharing a secret message, say, that you worked together?”
“Yeah,” jeered Roy, hoping to clear his name. “Larry is the best able of us to steal anything, and Wendy is the best able of us to divert attention.”
“Why would I steal a Mystery? asked Larry. “I know I wasn't guilty, because no one can ever catch me.
“I never commit crimes!” snapped Wendy. “But even if I did, I’m girl enough to stand up and take it!”
“Suppose Iggy took it and forgot,” suggested Larry.
“Suppose I put my foot in your face,” Iggy retaliated.
“I wouldn’t care,” said Larry. “You’re a wimp.”
“Oh yeah!” stomped Iggy. “I wish I had stolen the Mystery, so that I could show I am not a wimp. You can bet I’ll steal something tonight.”
Ludwig studied the paper Lemmy was holding. “It appears as if the guilty party did not remove the item but instead eradicated it.”
“What?” asked Roy.
“The Mystery has been erased,” explained Ludwig.
“And how can you tell just from looking at the paper, unless you did it yourself?” pressed Larry.
“I repeat that I did not commit the crime,” snapped Ludwig. “Just view the smudge marks; they created my verdict.”
“Who would’ve been smart enough to erase it?” asked Lemmy.
“You,” said Iggy.
“Hey!” complained Lemmy.
“You don't have to be smart to erase,” said Larry, the expert on such things. “You just need some fabric. It could very easily have been anyone who lives in this castle, or, for that matter, anyone who wears clothes.”
“Well, I’m stumped,” frowned Lemmy. “It looks as if we have no clues. It could have been any of us- even me! I just can’t believe it was stolen. I only wrote it last night.”
“I wasn’t here last night,” Roy said hurriedly.
“You were too!” contradicted Wendy. “I saw you sneaking along down the hallway late at night.”
“Uh... yeah!” Roy corrected. “I meant I was out the night before. Last night I was watching for crimes.”
“So you could commit one yourself?” asked Larry.
“No, so that I could catch criminals like Wendy,” Roy explained. “How would she know about me if she wasn’t out herself?”
“Well?” pressed Lemmy.
“I... uh... couldn’t sleep!” answered Wendy.
“Couldn’t sleep!” laughed Roy. “You’re always sleeping! ‘Beauty sleep’, she calls it.”
“I don’t need any beauty sleep!” scoffed Wendy. “I’m already perfectly beautiful.”
“Wrong!” Larry whispered to Ludwig.
“Anything you want to share with the class?” asked Iggy.
“Only that you are a wimp,” answered Larry.
“Hey!” snapped Iggy, stepping forward.
“Stop!” insisted Ludwig. “We must conclude who the culprit is. Lemmy, are you absolutely certain you can not remember?”
“No, I- Wait! I remember the name of the person who commited the crime in the Mystery I recorded started with an M,” Lemmy said excitedly.
“Well then, the Mystery is concluded,” smiled Ludwig. “You have developed it into becoming so ridiculously simple. The guilty party is-”
Suddenly the room burst into a flaming haze.
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