Buy Now! Buy Now!

Originally by kirbystar56, finished by Prince Larry

Go see the original story.

Narrator: Last time Lemmy took over the Consumer's Corner on KHSN, the Koopa Home Shopping Network, and in order to once again shut Morton up, poured Silly Salve down his throat, thus silencing him. But then he decided to do the same thing to Jon. Jon became jealous because Lemmy was running the show instead of him. And now the conclusion of Buy Now, Buy Now.

Jon: MMMMMMMM!!! Delicious Koopa Fruit!!! *drools*

Max: CUT!!!

Lemmy: We can't cut, we're filming this live.

Max: D'oh! Ok, I have a question, Lemmy.

Lemmy: What's your question?!

Max: Can he buy the item he's selling on his own show?

Lemmy: Ummmmmm... I'm not really sure... Can he?!

Jon: Mmmmmmmat mmmmr uuuuu tammkking about?!

Jon: BEEELLLLLLCHHHHHHHH Oooooooooooohhhh, pardon me. What are you guys talking about?

Lemmy: Can you buy your own products?!

Jon: Of course I can you nimrod! It's my show, I can do as I please.

Max: Provided it doesn't break censorship or copyright laws of course.

Lemmy: Yeah Mr. Arrogant.

Lakitu: Man... *sigh* It's a good thing we were on commercial break
and, um, guys, we're back in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Jon: And we're back with Consumer's Corner. Our next item is this magical wand and it has the ummm... ability to ummmm... make magical circus balls appear.

Lemmy: HEY!!! THAT'S MY WAND!!!

Lemmy snaches his wand back from Jon.

Morton: Mmmmmmmmmpphhhhhhh mmmmmphhh mmmmmmppppphhh mmpph! (Big mistake, Jonny boy!)

As Lemmy got his wand back, Jon tried to reason with him that it would be a popular selling item. But of course Lemmy's sentimentalities to his wand were not going to be torn down so easily. So eventually Jon gives up on selling one of Lemmy's prized possessions aside from his ball of course, but elsewhere...

Ludwig: Ahhhhhhhhhh, nothing like some lox and Koopspere on Ice to make an evening perfect.

Roy: KOOPSPERE ON ICE?! I thought we were going to watch the football game tonight!!!

Ludwig: *sigh* Well maybe if you actually sat down and watched an episode you may actually gain some refinement. DAD knows you sure could stand to have some.

Roy: Ahhhhhhhh, whatever.

As Roy begins to flip channels he catches something interesting on, of course, Consumer's Corner.

Roy: Hey Ludwig, check dis out!!!

Ludwig: What Roy?! What idiotic sports show is on now?!

Roy: Is that Morton?

Ludwig: And Lemmy?!

Ludwig and Roy: What are they doing on the Shoping Channel?!

Roy: I'm changing dis.

Ludwig: No, wait, this looks interesting...

Roy: You just love to see a Mario look-a-like beat up, don't you?

Ludwig: Well, yes.

As Roy and Ludwig watch, Lemmy and Jon are practically in a street fight because Jon, trying to get back at Lemmy, has now tried to sell his stuff both his wand and his ball. Now let's get back to the action.

Lemmy: (chasing Jon around the room) You're not selling my ball!!!

Jon: But it'll be a hot seller, we'll make tons of coins!!!

Lemmy: IT'S... MY... BALL!!!

Jon: Ok fine, I won't sell your ball.

Max: Hey, I've got some items here.

Jon: Thank goodness.

Lemmy: My ball!

Lemmy takes his ball back and begins to do tricks.

Max: Well that'll sure get some ratings in...

Jon: Ok, and finally we're back to selling items.

Morton: Mmmmmmmmmmmpppphh mmmmmpphhphphpphph mmmmmphppphhhhhh?! (Will someone get this blasted Silly Salve out of my throat?!)

Jon: Ok, our next item is this lovely... Tanooki Suit? Oh well... Yes you can fly around and turn into
a Mario Statue of all things... yours for only $15.00. Do we have any buyers? There are actually ten here. Come on now, any takers on this offer?

Iggy: I'll take one!!!

Lemmy: Me too!!!

Jon: Ok, that's $15 each.

Iggy: You Mario relation, you didn't hear me, did you? I said that Lemmy and I will TAKE one.

Lemmy: I didn't... (You moron! THINK!!! Free Tanooki Suit + ball = more money from
performing at birthday parties!) ... Never mind.

Jon: Give me my money first, dork.

Iggy: (tossing a Bob-omb at Jon) It's mine now!

Lemmy: Um, Iggy, why do you want a Tanooki Suit anyway?

Iggy: Because I was told that I would look cute in one.

Lemmy: (with an anime-style sweatdrop) Iggy... I worry about you a lot, you know.

Iggy: Well why do you want one, Lemmy?

Lemmy: Well I thought at the next birthday party I'd perform my famous circus ball act and try something new. If it doesn't work then I'll just put it in my collection of Weird and Wacky Stuff.

Iggy: Oh, I thought it was because Wendy said you'd look cute in a Tanooki Suit.

Lemmy: Iggy... Shut up!

As the smoke from the Bob-omb cleared, Jon notices that two of the ten Tanooki Suits are gone.

Jon: Ok, now moving on to our next Item we have a... Magic Mushroom?! Max, may I ask a question?

Max: Yeah?

Jon: Where on Plit did you get these items from?

Max: Ummm, from this yellow Mushroom House.

Jon: YOU GOT THESE FROM WHERE?!

Max: A yellow Mushroom House.

Jon: THESE ARE ITEMS FROM TOAD'S SHOP YOU IDIOT!!!

Max: Well they'll just blame the Koopas for the robbery.

Jon: Max... sometimes your wealth of ignorance is astounding...

Max: What do you mean?

Jon: Your theory won't work. Wanna know why?!

Max: Why won't it work, genius?

Jon: Mainly beacuse this is being televised all over Plit including Dark Land, which of course is home to the entire Koopa Empire!

Max: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Jon: Our next item is this colossal, wonderful, superb, Talking GIR action figure?!

Lemmy: Darn it Jon, I said DO NOT SELL MY STUFF!!!

Larry: Actually Lemmy, that's my GIR action figure. Remember? We walked down to the Koopala Komics Comic Book store and that's where I bought it.

Lemmy: Oh yeah, I remember now.

Jon: HA! You said don't sell YOUR stuff and you didn't say anything about selling any of your brother's stuff.

Larry: Gimme my GIR figure!

Larry takes his GIR figure and punchs Jon.

Jon: Ow!!!

Morton: Mmmmmmpppphhhpphhh mmmphh mmmmphh mmmmphhhh
mmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhh!!! (Larry, please take this stuff out of my mouth pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee!!!)

Larry: Ugh! Even with that stuff in your mouth you're agrivating. Ok, If Lemmy and I get that Silly Salve out of your mouth will you promise not to bother us with your speeches for at least a few months?

Morton: MMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Anything you want, just get the salve out of my mouth!!!)

Larry: I'll take that as a yes.

Larry and Lemmy proceed to rip the salve out of Morton's mouth

Morton: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You
could've gotten that out without causing pain, without harming me, without-

Larry: Don't make us put this back in...

Morton: ... Ok.

Lemmy: Larry, you can be so cruel sometimes...

Larry: Aw come on, Lemmy! You know you would've done the same thing given the circumstances.

Lemmy: ... Touch'e, Larry.

Lakitu: (sobbing) I just know my career will be over after this fiasco of a shopping show.

Jon: Now for our next item it's... a ruby necklace complete with a nifty frame. Yours now for only
$352.00 and yes this is authentic. It's from the Underground Land mines; the frame isn't as authentic butit does have some gold in it.

Larry: Hey, um, Lemmy, why did you take a Tanooki Suit?

Lemmy: Just to try something new...

Susan: LAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Larry: Lemmy! Hide me!!! Quick!!!

Lemmy: Why?! Oh yeah...

Susan: (shaking Larry) Larry Larry Larry Larry!!!

Larry: W.w.w.w.w.what S.s.s.s.susan?!

Susan: Don't you wanna buy that ruby necklace for your sweatheart?!

Larry: Um, no!

Susan: Why not?!

Larry: Well for starters I don't like you at all, and secondly even if I did I couldn't buy that! Do you honestly think I have that kinda money?!

Susan: You could steal it.

Larry: Yeah, I suppose I could but I an't gonna plot a robbery just to get you something. Now go away and leave me alone!

Larry starts to walk off quickly by Susan chases him.

Susan: Come on! You can't deny what your heart is feeling.

Larry: Heart?! Feelings?! What on Plit are you talking about?!

Lemmy: (with another sweatdrop) Poor Larry...

Lemmy rolls off on his ball.

Jon: Hey, this is MY show! Focus on me!!! Now our next item is an interesting piece of antiquity, it's the sledgehammer from the old 1940's gangster classic starring Humphry Sledgebrother, Sledgablanca. There are only a few if these left and Max, before you ask, yes, this item has been on here several nights in a row.

Max: ... K.

Jon: Yes, with this sledgehammer you can quote famous Sledgy lines from all of his famous films. Yours now for only $29.00. Ahhhh, we have a caller.

Roy (caller): Yeah, I'd like that sledgehammer. As you can see I'm a big fan of Humphry Sledgebrother.

Jon: You, sir, have great taste.

Roy: Yeah, um, thank you, I guess....

Jon: Now where can I send the bill and the hammer?

Roy: Well you can send the hammer to Castle Koopa c/o Roy Koopa and the bill you ca send to, uhhhhh, Princess Peach Toadstool.

Jon: Um, ok. (I know that this is Roy Koopa but shoot I'd do just about anything to make an honest sale.) You'll be receiving your hammer in about two to three days.

Roy: JOY!!! Oh, um, thanks a lot!

Roy hangs up.

Jon: And now our final item for the evening is... AHA!!! Here it is, our final item is a Power Star and it's on sale at $10.00, do we have any-

Bowser: (busting in) I WANT IT!!!

Bowser proceeds to beat up Jon.

Jon: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

In addition to beating up Jon, Bowser does 4,000 coins worth of damage to the studio and also ruins the camera equipment so we can't show any more footage, but afterwards Larry finally got away from Susan, Iggy was once again laughed at for trying to impress the female Koopas, Roy got his Humphry Sledgebrother sledgehammer, Ludwig got to watch Koopspere on Ice, Lemmy's new Tanooki Suit-enhanced act didn't go as well as he had planned but he got another addition to his ever growing collection of Weird and Wacky Stuff, Morton was finally able to talk again, and Wendy was at the mall the whole time that this Scribble was taking place.

Jon: (covered in bruises) Well what do you know... We got new camera equipment back just in time to tell everyone that we're out of time and stuff to sell so until next time... this has been Consumer's Corner.

The End

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address? 
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Think you can finish a story? Email me your Trimmings!
Go back to Lemmy's Trimmings.
Go back to Lemmy's Land.