Lemmy: 12 teams left on a race around Lemmy’s Land to win one million coins. Teams talked-

Leg 2

Bus Driver: WHO'S TALKING?!

Morton: Don't think I talked, because I didn't, why you ask, because Susan said she'd give me anything if I didn't talk, so therefore I didn't talk, so don't think I talked, because I didn't, why you-

Susan and Morton are seen kicked off the bus.

Lemmy: Bickered-

Leg 5

Roy: Here we go, and Iggy, you'd better be quiet for the rest of this leg! Your voice is so whiny!

Iggy: It is no-

Roy: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Iggy: ROY! This is ridiculous-

Roy: Oh, you think just because I have to take more responsibility, I will screw everything up!

Iggy: Because of you, I bet we’ll be eliminated today!

Roy: Yeah right! We’re gonna come in first!

Iggy: No we wo-

Roy: How about you learn self-confidence!

Iggy: (sarcastically) Oh sure, we’ll come in first all the Legs!

Roy: Now that’s how it’s done!

Iggy: …

Lemmy: And acted like complete morons…

Leg 7

Playful: How did that moron get here first?

Playful points to Mario, who’s in the ocean bonking mantas.

Mario: Little bunny Foo Foo, running through the forest! Chasing all the field mice and bonking them in the head! Boop!

The Mantas disappear.

Lemmy: Luigi did a lot of the work.

Voice: OOOOOOOHhh…

Luigi: MARIO! Why’d you hit that Noki in the head?

Mario: It’s-a fun!

Lemmy: However, nine teams were eliminated in the process: Team Mean by taking the wrong flight and murdering their pilot, Team Talk by talking on the bus, Team Queen by scratching my face, Team Cream by a stubborn Toad, Team Bean by using gas instead of diesel, Team Scheme by Ludwig not remembering to buy a ball for me, Team Cute for taking a long and scenic route, Team Steam for lack of the right transportation, and Team Mario for giving the wrong directions… and Mario. Now three teams are left. There is Playful and Bagels, who remained in the game by cunningness; Team Cheat, by cheating and making other teams make the wrong decisions; and Team What, just by luck. Team Dream, who now is in the lead by more then three hours ahead of second place, will now depart.

Bagels: We made it to the last Leg!

Playful: Just one last thing to do on the to do list!

Bagels: What’s that?

Playful: Win… Okay, fly to one of Lemmy’s Scribbles and find Lemmy’s favorite author’s name section. Find the route marker at their first Scribble.

Lemmy: Teams must now take a flight to Lemmy’s Scribbles and find the author with the best name and most Scribbles, Hip. Then they will have to find Hip’s first submission, Larry Koopa and the Stinky Lousy Really Rotten Extremely Cruddy Day. Let me catch my breath now…

Bagels: To the airport!

At the airport…

Playful: Why are YOU the flight attendant?

Roy: I quit my job of punch massaging because I would’ve won the million bucks, if it weren’t for Iggy and you!

Bagels: What did we do?

Roy: Shut up you 14-minute mutt!

Playful: Wow… that was lame.

Roy: THAT’S IT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Bagels: To Lemmy’s Scribbles!

Roy: HERE’S YOU’RE FLIGHT! TAKE IT NOW!

Playful: Okay, fine! A connecting flight to Tourist Attractions to the Art Museum, to the Basics, to the Bios, then the Captions, then…

15 minutes later…

Playful: ...to the White Castle Gym, and finally to the Scribbles!

Bagel: We’ll confirm it!

Playful: NO! THAT’S ALL 43 SECTIONS!

Bagels: Too late…

Lemmy: Team Dream is now taking a flight to the Tourist Attractions, then the…

15 minutes later…

Lemmy: ...and to the Scribbles at 3:00 PM! THAT’S ENOUGH! First that long Review, then the 11-letter title, and now reading all of this! Why do I have to talk so much?

Cameraman: We had to make it a two-hour episode.

Lemmy: …

>> Team Cheat <<

Wario: Go to Lemmy’s Scribbles!

Waluigi: NOT THERE!

Wario: Why not?

Waluigi: THE LAST TIME I SCRIBBLED, POLICE WITH BUCKETS ON THEIR HEADS CHASED US!

Wario: That was part of a movie!

Waluigi: What if I blow up again?

Wario: Oh shuddap!

At the airport…

Wario: Our plane leaves at 2 and arrives at 3:00

Waluigi: NOT THAT!

Wario: Why not?

Waluigi: BECAUSE if you multiply the numbers 2 and 3, you’ll get 6!

Wario: And…?

Waluigi: If you multiply 6 by 2, you get 12!

Wario: AND!

Waluigi: IF YOU ADD THE LONELIEST NUMBER, YOU GET 13!

Wario: Thankfully, this is the final Leg!

>> Team What <<

Daisy: Okay Dad, this is the final Leg, we HAVE to win!

The King: Why not the Just Not Be Last rule anymore?

Daisy: There won’t be any more Legs!

The King: Who said?

Daisy: WHATEVER!

At the airport…

Daisy: Next flight to Lemmy’s Scribbles? Wait! Why are YOU here?

Roy: Cuz I wanted to! Here’s your stinkin’ flight!

Daisy: Why is it a direct flight?

Roy: Cuz I already gave the 43 section-connecting flight to another team already!

Daisy’s face lights up.

Daisy: WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE, DAD!

The King: I loved the Chance Time with the dancing Toads!

Daisy: …

Lemmy: Teams Cheat and What are now on their way to Lemmy’s Scribbles and will arrive at 3:00 PM.

>> Lemmy’s Scribbles <<

Playful: WE FINALLY MADE IT!

Bagels: Okay, so which way to the parking lot?

Playful: Hmm, let’s see the sign… Welcome to Lemmy’s Scribbles! That’s all I can read!

Bagels: How come?

Playful: Because all the other signs are scribbled on!

Bagels: LOOK! There’s Wario!

Playful: That’s not Wario!

Bagels: Yes it is!

Playful: No, it’s FATSO!

Bagels: Whatever, let’s follow ‘em!

Wario: It’s this way!

Waluigi: How do you know? If you don’t what if there’s a ghost down that end?! Or even worse, a FUZZY!

Wario: I know my way! I come here every week to see if I’m actually in a submission!

Waluigi: I just hope you’re right!

Daisy: LOOK! TWO TEAMS! We caught up!

The King: Did we catch any fish too?

Daisy: No…

The King: DARN! I wanted calamari!

Daisy: CALAMARI ISN’T FISH!

The King: To me it is!

Daisy: To the guy who can’t tell the difference between a Bob-omb and I!

The King: PLEASE DON’T BLOW UP YET!

At the parking lot…

Bagels: We’ll take the bus!

Wario: We’ll grab a cab.

The King: We’ll grab a water taxi!

Everyone: THERE’S NO WATER!!!

The King: Yes there is! Daisy and I will just swim there!

The King makes a flapping motion with his arms, and Daisy just walks behind.

Daisy: Oh well, we came this far!

The King: Row the boat across the puddle!

>> Team Cheat - 1st at Junction <<

Wario: JUNCTION! Brains or Bronze!

Lemmy: A Junction is- Ah, you should know by now!

Cameraman: Two hours!

Lemmy: Fine, fine… A Junction is a choice between two tasks, each with its pros and cons. In this Junction, Teams will choose between Brains and Bronze.

In Brains, Teams will have to travel to the series “The Koopa Kid Show”, where they will have to find the attic that the Koopalings hid in during the Christmas Episode. The teams will find their clue on the table in the attic. The task can be very simple, but it may take a little while to get there.

In Bronze, Teams will have to get to “Mario Sports Day”. Once there, they will have to complete all of the sports played in the submission. They will finish at the baseball field, where they will be handed their next clue. The destination is only a minute away, but the task could take a while.

Wario: BRONZE!

Waluigi: But what if I get hurt?

Wario: If we do Brains, we have to go to a dark and scary castle!

Waluigi: LET’S DO BRONZE!

Task #1

Wario: I’ll do golf and baseball, and you’ve played tennis twice! You’ll be good!

Waluigi: NOT TENNIS! WHAT IF DIAMONDS GET STUCK IN MY EYES AGAIN?!

Wario: That’s how your eyes glared… TOO BAD!

>> Team Dream - 2nd at Junction <<

Playful: I CAN’T PLAY BASEBALL FOR CATNIP!

Bagels: And I’m not the BEST at golf…

Playful: How about brains?

Bagels: Sure! We live there, of course!

Playful: TAXI!

>> Team Cheat <<

Wario: ARRGH- HA!

Wario hits the ball and gets a hole in one.

Task #1 completed.

Wario: I JUST GOT A HOLE IN ONE! YEAH!

Waluigi: NOT ONE!

Wario: WHY NOT?

Waluigi: IT’S THE LONELIEST NUMBER!

Wario: You already said that!

Waluigi: NOOOOOOOO!!! MY BRAIN IS MELTING!

Wario: Congrats! Now where’s the tennis court?

Waluigi: I hope we don’t have to go to that stadium, because I’m scared of crowds!

Wario: Aha!

Task #2

Wario: Okay Waluigi, you know how to play! Just hit that wooden target!

Waluigi: EVERYONE IS STARING!

Wario: THEY’RE JUST CARDBOARD CUTOUTS, FOR GREEDINESS SAKES!

A machine spits a tennis ball out.

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Waluigi panics and flails his arms, hitting the ball and making it fly and hit the Mario cutout.

Mario Cutout: YIPPEE!!!

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! MARIO’S HAVING A SPAZ ATTACK!

Wario: THAT’S A DUMMY, YOU IDIOT!

Task #2 Completed

>> Team What - 3rd at Junction <<

The King: LOOK, Buttercup! THE BOUY WITH THE CLUE!

The King “swims” over to the clue box, and opens it.

The King: Grains or Tongs?

Daisy: WHAT? That’s Brains and Bronze! Hey, Dad, want to play golf?

The King: OOH! GOODIE!

The King jumps up and down.

Daisy: Come on, Dad!

The King continues, Daisy drags him by his ear.

>> Team Cheat <<

Wario: Okay, so I just have to hit a home run, easy!

Task #3

The machine shoots a ball out, and Wario is about to hit it, when it just drops down.

Wario: WAH?

The same thing happened, except it hits Wario in the head.

Wario: OW! WHAT HAPPENED?

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! A GHOST!

Waluigi runs in front of Wario, and Wario decides to hit him to make him stop, and hits the ball too.

Waluigi: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! THE GHOST BIT ME!

Wario: That was me, you moron!

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHH! WARIO BIT ME!

Wario: NO! I HIT YOU WITH A BAT!

Tumble: HOME RUN!

A home run jingle plays.

Tumble: Here’s your clue!

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHH! A DICE CUBE FORMED INTO HIS HEAD! WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO ME?!

Wario: Then your head would be square! Oops, you already are square!

Waluigi: I thought I was tall and skinny…

>> Team Cheat - 1st at Route Marker <<

Wario: Travel to “Who Wants to be an Idiotic Moron” and find a “zombie”.

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Lemmy: Teams must now travel to “Who Wants to be an Idiotic Moron“, search through the audience who got locked in the game room, and find a zombie, dead creature, aka, Dry Bones. To get inside, they will find a warp pipe outside.

Waluigi: ...HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Wario: TAXI!

>> Team Dream <<

Playful: FINALLY!

Bagels: Home sweet home!

Playful: You know it’s just a museum about Koopa Kastle!

Bagels: That explains why the bones at the doghouse didn’t taste good…

>> Team What <<

Task #1

Daisy: Take a nice hard swing!

The King barely touches the ball.

Daisy: DAD!

The King: Fly Guys!

Daisy: What?

About 173,137,731 Fly Guys fly by. The force of the wind causes the ball to fly forward into the hole.

Daisy: …

Task #1 Completed

Daisy: OKAY! Let’s go to the big stadium!

The King: I bet Toadsworth is doing the limbo right now!

>> Team Dream - 2nd at Route Marker <<

Playful: Here we are!

Bagels: Hey, what are these?

Playful: Koopaling baby pictures! Let's turn these in downstairs!

…

Paragoomba: OOH! We didn’t even know that Ludwig brought them in and hid them! Thanks!

Playful: Okay, so, Who Wants to be an Idiotic Moron!

Bagels: I don’t!

Playful: NO! It’s that show we’ve always watched!

Bagels: The one that Lemmy quit half a year ago?

Playful: YEAH!

>> Team What <<

Task #2

Daisy: This’ll be simple!

The machine shoots a ball and Daisy hits it and hits the target, and something else…

The King: OW! MY LASAGNA!

Daisy: DAD! You’re supposed to stay back!

The King: I stayed back seven times in first grade!

Daisy: I’m embarrassed to be your daughter…

Task #2 Completed

Task #3

Daisy: Hit the ball hard, Dad!

The King bunts the ball.

Daisy: ARGH!

The King: MONTY MOLES!

Daisy: MONTY MOLES CAN’T CONTROL AIR MOVEMENT!

An alignment of Monty Moles pop out of holes, and the baseball hits them all on the head, and bounces off the last head and over the fence.

Tumble: HOME RUN!

The jingle plays and The King tries to breakdance.

Task #3 completed

Tumble: Here’s your clue!

>> Team What - 3rd at Route Marker <<

Daisy: Who wants to be an Idiotic Moron!

The King: I DO!

Daisy: TAXI!

>> Who Wants to be an Idiotic Moron <<

Wario jumps in a warp pipe, then jumps right out.

Wario: OWWWWWWWWWW! STUPID PIRANHA PLANT!

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Wario: It’s this one!

Waluigi: What if a Nipper bites me?

Wario stuffs Waluigi in the pipe.

GEH! GEH! GEH!

Playful: Right or left?

Bagels: Right!

Playful: Then we’ll go left!

Bagels: Fine.

GEH! GEH! GEH!

Wario: Look for a zombie!

Waluigi starts shivering all of a sudden.

Wario: BOO!!!

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Dry Bones: SHADDUP! WE’RE TRYING TO FIND A WAY OUT!

Wario: Zombies are dead, and so are Dry Bones! HEY! Could we have a clue?

Dry Bones: FINE! But only cuz your partner settled down!

Waluigi is seen breathing into a paper bag.

Bagels: Hmm, a zombie is dead!

Playful: Brilliant observation!

Bagels: And so is a Dry Bones! Look! There!

Playful: A ZOMBIE MINION, DRY BONES! Can we have a clue?

Dry Bones: Fine, but only cuz Lemmy paid me!

Both teams warp out.

Wario: Taxi! Okay, it says take a cab back to the Main Lemmy’s Land, and go to the Tourist Choice Awards!

Waluigi: WHAT IF THEY DON’T VOTE FOR ME?!

Wario: Then you won’t be popular!

Waluigi: BUT THEN I WOULD STARVE!

Wario: You deserve to starve.

Lemmy: Teams will now go back to where they started, where they will find a brand new part, the Tourist Choice Awards, where they will find their next clue!

Playful: TAXI!

Daisy: Can you wait?

Cab Driver: No, there are people paid! If I get one more group, Lemmy will pay me one eighth of a penny!

Daisy: Talk about bad payment!

The King jumps in a pipe and jumps back out!

The King: I got bit! It was fun! Let’s do it again!

Daisy: NO!

Daisy drags The King to the other pipe and they get warped in.

The King: Look! People!

Daisy: Technically, they are not people!

The King: Mentally, I am not here!

Daisy: We already know… Look! Dry Bones! A zombie!

The King: I like kites! Do you?

Dry Bones: Yeah, okay…

Daisy: Do you have a clue?

Dry Bones: What he’s saying- No, for an AWESOME race- Yes! But only cuz you’re pretty!

Daisy: Not another! RUN!

GEH! GEH! GEH!

The King: Let’s swim some more!

Daisy: NO! TAXI!

One hour later…

>> Team Cheat and Dream - 1st and 2nd at Whomp Stop <<

Wario: Who’s stupid? I’m not! I’ll go!

Lemmy: A Whomp Stop is a task only one member of a Team can perform. In this Whomp Stop, the person will have to get through a maze and find a trophy. In their trophy will be their final clue. Because I wasted my thought already, the maze will be relatively simple. Just three 3-way forks, and they must go straight, straight, and straight.

Playful: Who’s stupid? You are, Bagels!

Bagels: Hey… Fine, I’ll go!

Wario: This has to be simple so The King could do it! It must be straight!

Bagels: Why not just follow him?

Wario charges through all three forks, and Bagels follows.

Wario: Was that actually a Whomp Stop?

>> Team Cheat and Dream - 1st and 2nd at Route Marker <<

Wario: Make your way to Lemmy’s Land Commons, and follow the flags to the big mat!

Lemmy: Teams will now go to Lemmy’s Land Commons, where many tourists come to talk with each other and play. This is the final Pitstop in this AWESOME Race.

Bagels: It’s all on the cab drivers now!

Playful: Here comes Bagels: TAXI!

Screech!

Bagels: Lemmy’s Land Commons!

Driver: Right on it!

Zoom!

Wario: TAXI!

Screech!

Wario: Quickest way to the Commons!

Driver: I know a shortcut!

Zoom!

Wario: We’ll have to run!

Waluigi: What if I trip and fall?

Wario: It’ll be worth the million coins!

Waluigi: People would KILL for a million coins!

Wario: Good for you!

>> Team What - 3rd at Whomp Stop <<

The King: Who’s stupid? You are!

Daisy: ARGH! Fine, maybe we can catch up! Let’s see, with these binoculars… Straight ahead! What a challenge…

>> Team What - 3rd at Route Marker <<

Diasy: I believe in miracles! TAXI!

………………………………………………………………………

All three cars are now racing to the Pitstop. Meanwhile, at the park…

Denny: Hey! I found a penny! I’m lucky today!

Koopa: That doesn’t mean anything!

One car arrives and all the teams that have been eliminated look at the Team and scowl their faces, except Mario, who’s feeding a puppy.

Mario: You can have all 12 of these quarters!

Luigi: Huh? MARIO! THAT WAS OUR GAS MONEY!

Mario: But since Leg 5, we’re using Diesel!

Anyway, Team Cheat walks over to the big huge mat that Lemmy is standing on. Wario runs on to the mat.

Lemmy: One website, 43 sections…

Wario: Finish…

Lemmy: Waluigi has to get on!

Wario: WALUIGI! COME ON!

Waluigi: NO! THE BIG MAT WILL HAVE A BIG HUGE TRAP!

Wario: AHHHH!!!

Wario jumps off the mat and chases Waluigi around. Team Dream’s car arrives.

Bagels: HERE WE ARE!

Playful: FINALLY!

Lemmy: One website, 43 sections…

Bagels and Playful are about to step on the mat, when they start to fly in the air.

Playful: NO! LET ME DOWN!

Bagels: WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Luigi: MARIO! PUT THEM DOWN!

Mario: IT’S-A EASTER!

Mario runs off with Team Dream in his hands, Luigi chases after him.

Lemmy: Aye, aye, AYE!

Meanwhile…

Denny: Look! A big crowd! Maybe there’s a dancing monkey there!

Koopa: Why would one of those be there?

Denny: HELLO! I have a penny! I’m lucky!

Back at the Pitstop…

Team What’s car arrives, and The King and Daisy both walk to the mat.

Daisy: Where’s Wario hiding?

The King: I choose Fall!

Team What walks onto the mat.

Lemmy: FINALLY! One website, 43 sections, Team What, you just won a million coins!

Lemmy: The King, as the first to sign up for your group, what will you do with your money?

The King: I will give it to charity!

Daisy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Denny and the Koopa come over.

Denny: Hey, what’s this crowd for?

The King: Here you go!

Denny: WOAH! A sack with a million silver dollars!

Denny and the Koopa run away. In the distance, two voices are heard screaming.

Voice 1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’m coming, Master!!!

Voice 2: THAT STUPID IDIOT! THAT SMARTED!

Team Dream falls on the mat.

Lemmy: Team Dream, you’re Team number two!

Bagels: Oh well, we did our best!

Playful: That stupid moron Mario!

Lemmy: How’d you fly here, anyway?

Playful: Mario wanted to play Mario Superstar Baseball…

Team Cheat runs to the mat.

Wario: FINALLY! Are we first?

Lemmy: No, third.

Lemmy: So how’d you manage to get back here?

Wario: Waluigi saw Mario hit the fleabags with the bat.

Mario: Let’s-a play baseball!

Waluigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Everyone at the scene decides to go play a good baseball game, except for Waluigi, who is running away to wherever his long, stinky feet take him to.

Lemmy: So that was the end of a big long trip! What did we get out of it? Nothing! What did Team What get out of it? Nothing! What did Denny get out of it? Let’s see!

Denny: I’m rich! I’m rich!

Denny is skipping and laughing in joy. His penny falls out.

Denny: MY LUCKY PENNY!

Koopa: Hmm, I’ll take that!

Denny: Well, I won’t have bad luck, will I?

Denny runs away, and passes a bonfire. Denny trips, and all the coins fall into the fire.

Denny: Well, coins can’t burn to ashes, right?

Lemmy: Sorry, they were the flammable ones.

Denny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 

Where the Final Three are now…

Team Cheat

Wario is currently robbing every bank in the Mushroom Kingdom. You wouldn’t believe how gullible the security guards are! You say, “I’m inspecting the safe, what’s the number?” and they’ll say “OH! Go right ahead! The safe number is 19-8-1!” Oops! Another secret left to public!

Waluigi hasn’t been heard of at all lately, probably because nobody likes him, so they threw him in a closet. Hey, what’s that screaming? OH! I forgot he was claustrophobic!

Team Dream

Playful has been on the pessimistic side for a while, complaining about how he should of won. Instead of just finding one of the easy jobs in Lemmy’s Lands, he just prefers to scratch the Koopalings when they’re sleeping, especially Roy, because he gave them a terrible flight.

Bagels has become an artist, making pictures of his master, like, The Mona Bowser, A Stormy Night, and more… Bagels had made a lot of money with her artwork, enough to put the product bagels out of business, just so The King will know not to eat Bagels.

Team What

The King has been spending his life like he had before the Race: sleeping, golf, sleeping, eating, and sleeping. When we asked him about how he felt about the Race, he answered, “A race? I thought all that excitement was a pencil design auction!”

Daisy, on the other hand, has been working really hard to star in a game. Daisy wants to start the title “Super Daisy”, where she has to save Peach. She also told us a secret that right before she was about to save Peach from her doom, she decided to let her die. Her game seemed like a really good idea, but of course, the company that she’s trying to sell it to fell asleep. Maybe the Moronic Mystical Mario Club wasn’t the best choice of a company…
 

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