I bought this long-awaited game two weeks ago, as I couldn’t wait to play another F-Zero game after the
excellent experience F-Zero X gave me. This space-racing game was released back last summer with the GBA itself, back when I was a huge Survivor fan and Roy was 200 votes back in last place. But finally I stopped buying PS2 and Cube games so I could see the 32-bit, handheld version of my favorite racing game.

This game is reviewed on a 0-4 star scale, and the way I grade it, 4 stars is a hard rating to earn, so you
won’t be seeing a ton of those!

Graphics: ***

The breakthrough GBA game! Just like Luigi’s Mansion, this game set a new standard for GBA graphics, proving to me that maybe the GBA has 32 bits after all! Or not... well, it’s at least better looking than a SNES
game, with the machines looking nice, the backgrounds looking okay, and the game having a little bit of
three dimensions. I know that’s hard for me to imagine in a GBA game, a touch of 3D, but I could actually
see a little bit of it.

Sound: *

Ug. After F-Zero X gave me the Sector a, Big Blue, and Mute City tunes to enjoy hearing in my head during
boring school hours, I get a whole bunch of dull, non-catchy tunes. Granted, the music had some work put
into it, and the menu music is nice, but most music isn’t that kind of music I’ll start humming in the car.

Difficulty: ****

Uh oh. Another bad category. It is near-impossible to finish first in a Beginner race in the Pawn circuit, or even finish the race in the top three, as you must. Why? Hmm, let’s see. Only one boost per lap, horribly hard turns, lots of places to lose energy, the fact that computers blast past you on the first stretch and are gone from there, no attacking computers, and the turns. I said that already? Well, just making sure you know, you won’t be winning many races in this game with turns like those.

Characters: no stars

Uh, who? Unlike F-Zero X, this game’s characters are forgettable, easily forgotten, and easy to forget. I can’t even tell you any names off my head right now, while I could name at least half the 30 F-Zero X racers and describe the way they look.

Story: no stars

Unlike the nice story of F-Zero X, this is set 25 years later, way after favorites like Captain Falcon are gone. What, they want to take out the best Super Smash Bros. Melee and very famous character and put in a bunch of losers? Same as the category before, but the fact that the storyline is too forgettable. And I’m just getting warmed up.

Controls: ***

Like a lot of other poor games, this game has great controls. Well, to a certain extent. I mean, there’s no attack button and you have to change the boost to Up if you don’t want the stupid L and R together. But the rest are easy to understand. I’m not telling them all here because no one really cares if they don’t have the game yet.

Machines: 1/2

Argh! You only start out with four machines, and with the near-impossible grand prix races, I can’t unlock any others. Not to mention that even the B-rated turning machine can’t turn worth nothing.

Turning: no stars

Uh, you can turn? Sure, you can try turning with the L and R buttons, but they don’t help. Like Mario Kart:
Super Circuit, you’ve got to practically brake around every bend. That isn’t good, as there goes half my
energy- on ONE lap!

Tracks: 1/2

Hmm, not very interesting tracks. In fact, they aren’t much to talk about. In fact, I can’t think of anything good to say. In fact, I can’t figure out why there are millions of hairpin turns if I can’t make any of them and why the pit roads are harder to get to, unlike the easiness of F-Zero X. In fact, they stink.

Energy Meter: *

One good thing about the energy meter: if you use a boost, you don’t lose energy. Now here’s all the bad.
You’re going to hit a wall and lose energy almost every turn, the pit roads don’t fill your meter up enough if you’re not coming to a complete stop and a complete exit from competition, you’re down to half energy after one lap, and all it does is make me lose before I can get to the finish line to lose. Hmm, I wonder how good that is!

Boost: *

Now, instead of having as many boosts as your energy meter allows, you get only one boost per lap from the
second lap on. That means comebacks are nearly impossible, not to mention that even if it was run by
energy, I wouldn’t be able to boost anyway. But at least I’m not losing energy! That’s good, but, of course, one boost per lap doesn’t help very much. Imagine Mario Kart with only a Triple Mushroom in EVERY mode, not just Time Trials. That’s what it’s like.

Attacking: no stars

Why did this category get no stars? Simple: you can’t attack. That made F-Zero X awesome, and that makes
F-Zero Maximum Velocity awful. Plain and simple.

Grand Prix Mode: no stars

In this mode, you’ve got to finish at least third in every race (out of 15), you’ve got to be in a certain position after every lap, the computers blast by you at the very start, even if the A button is mashed super-hard, comebacks are nearly impossible, computers never hit walls and never lose energy, you can’t attack enemy racers, you run out of energy too easily, it’s not fun at all, and... and... oh yeah, it stinks. I guess that sums it all up right there.

Training: **1/2

There had to be something good about this game. You can either race against a single computer or by
yourself, and that’s pretty boring, but at least you aren’t getting frustrated to death. That’s what makes
this above-average, at least compared to everything else in this game.

Multiplayer Modes: **

Sorry, I haven’t played these modes, and I can’t play them because no one I know has a GBA, let alone would
want to play multiplayer on it. After all, who plays multiplayer handheld when you could just turn on F-Zero X? I’m assuming it’s average, and that’s what the score will be, impartial to being good or bad.

Replayability: *

There isn’t much replayability to this game if you can’t win and you’re stuck with only three tracks and four racers. That’s pretty much all I can say.

Fun Factor!: 1/2

I guess once in a blue moon you can enjoy this game. Now I’m going to go look in the Farmer’s Almanac for
the next blue moon...

OVERALL: no stars

Let me set you straight: I DO NOT hate the F-Zero series because of this game. Again, I still like the F-Zero series, but since this game seemed to not be on the F-Zero story as much as the first two (and especially F-Zero X), it shouldn’t be considered a F-Zero game. I think this game set a new record for me: most “no stars” ratings: 5 (besides the final score). Need I say not to buy it? I think you could have figured that already. Save your money for F-Zero GC, which could rival F-Zero X, as I heard Sega’s making it (that might be bad) and it’s in Japan now. If you don’t have a GBA, well, then, save your money as well! I’m still looking for a reason to own a GBA. Is this game the worst ever? No, the second-worst to Poké Gold. Even Poké Snap beats it. Being such a proud F-Zero X fan makes me want to hang my head, but I’ve got to admit it, this game stinks like the Minnesota Vikings. DON’T BUY OR RENT IT!!!

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