Star Wars: Starfighter Review

By Crazy Packers Fan

This is the third in my line of Star Wars game Reviews. The first two were mediocre, both being Nintendo 64 games. This time, I’ve moved over to the PS2 for a game similar to Battle for Naboo, known as Starfighter. Basically, you just go on missions and shoot everything in sight. Who knows why it’s rated Teen, probably some sort of violence or something, or to boost sales.

This Review is on a 0-4 star scale, as always. And, as always, I’m going to be as fair as I possibly can with this game.

Graphics: ***1/2

Wow! Talk about some good graphics! The levels are beautifully made, showing off the PS2’s power. Everything looks really real. Bad choice of words there, but I think that illustrates my point. The hills, mountains, cliffsides, rocks, and other ships look very excellent. A few minor things like frozen backgrounds stop this from earning a perfect score.

Sound: *

Uh, what music? Sure, you’ve got the Star Wars music on a certain screen, but the rest of it is so faint, it’s nearly inaudible. Of course, if you turn it up, then you can’t hear the important information people are telling you. Of course, the important information is so confusing, that you won’t want to hear it anyway. Of course, if you then turn it off, you’re really stuck. So, the voices are annoying, and the music is mainly not that good.

Difficulty: ****

Easily the most difficult of all the Star Wars games I’ve ever played. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest ever. You don’t know where you’re going, what you’re supposed to be doing, the directions are not very clear at all, the levels are very confusing, you can get dizzy from the way your ship spins, the controls are likewise confusing, and the game is practically made just to show off the PS2’s power. I know, by now you’re thinking, “This guy says every game’s hard! He must stink at games!” But trust me, the Star Wars games are made to be very difficult. Only a few are actually this hard. If you don’t believe me, try this game out sometime.

Characters: 1/2

I don’t even know who the heck these characters are, nor do I care who they are. They aren’t real Star Wars
characters, I’ll tell you that, right now. One of them is a crazy-looking creature, who I like, but since I haven’t been able to play as him, since he’s unlocked later on, he’s even not worth much. Still, even he’s not in Star Wars, to my best knowledge. Neither are the other two characters.

Controls: no stars

The controls are so confusing, I can’t even remember what’s accelerate or brake. Is it X, L1, L2, R1, or R2? Then, I end up crashing into something. Or, I hit the wrong button, and instead of blasting my opponent, I go flipping upside-down! I can’t think of one good thing about the controls. Um, maybe the controller’s comfortable?

Levels: *1/2

Sure, the levels are big and vast, but you can get lost so fast in them, you’ll be going in circles. That’s what I did for such a long time in level 2. I couldn’t tell whether I was going forward or into one of those classic “force fields” (you know, in every game, there’s a limit that your character/kart can’t go past, and you run into an invisible wall).

Piloting: no stars

First of all, it’s hard as heck to control the ship. Then, you’ve got the fact that you’ve got to spin around, do loops, and all kinds of stuff, just to catch up with an opponent. You hardly ever have time to shoot because you’re trying to just control your ship. But here’s the number one problem with this game, which is why it’s hit the bottom of the shelf: It makes me dizzy. Since it’s so hard to chase your opponents, sometimes you’ve got to flip upside down, and the view you get (from inside the ship) can make you woozy. I’ve let someone else play the game, and he put down the controller within one minute of playing. It’s crazy how dizzy this game can make you. It’s the number one reason why I won’t ever play it again.

Missions: *

Okay, this is like my Battle of Naboo Review’s complaint. Why not just blast your opponents? Why have a long list of ten things you have to do to clear the level, and have a time limit no less? Sure, the missions are pretty interesting, as they actually require you to think about what you’re doing (very much unlike Anakin’s job in Episode 1). Still, if you can’t complete them due to time restraints, dizziness, and difficulty, they’re not worth doing.

Ships: *

Uh, if there are any other ships, they’re really not noticeable. I haven’t noticed anything. Even then, it’s pretty stupid to have different ships if they’re really not that helpful. Besides, they don’t provide many big differences. One good thing: they’re bigger, better, and faster than the ones in Battle for Naboo.

Story: no stars

Story? Oh, I forgot what the story is. That says something about the story, doesn’t it? It’s not like the real Star Wars, anyway.

Replayability: no stars

No reason to play the levels over again unless you want to get more confused and dizzy. I can’t think of one good thing to put here.

Fun Factor!: 1/2

You know, this game can be fun, if you enjoy crashing your ship into the ground to see what happens. That’s
what I started doing, and it’s a blast! A big blast in the ground, with fun that lasts two seconds. Hey, it’s enough to give this category half a star!

OVERALL: no stars

Don’t buy this game. Don’t even accept it as a gift. It’s horrible, it’s confusing, and it’s the first game that has a negative effect on you besides wasting your time, as it can be really dizzy. If the game’s missions were feasible and if you could control your ship better, maybe it would be worth a 5-cent-rent. But it’s not even worth that much. It's got to be worse than F-Zero: Maximum Velocity, and only a hair better than Poké Gold/Silver/Crystal, if only because it has the Star Wars music in one part of this game. It gets the grand title of "2nd-worst game ever".

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