When you buy a $10 game, you’re not expecting much. In fact, when I bought this game, it was only because I wanted a free Mario doll to go with it. Most of the time, you get what you pay for, and this is no exception. This game is a racing game, a rip-off F-Zero X, with very similarly shaped vehicles and tracks. It is one of those forgotten N64 games.

This Review is on the 0-4 star scale. After four straight good Reviews, you wouldn’t think that I’m starting to lose my reviewing “touch”, would you?

Graphics: no stars

What a laugher! The graphics look worse than a SNES game. There are so many rough edges on the tracks and machines, the backgrounds are blurry, the road ahead can’t be seen very well, and the game has no
resemblance to a 64-bit game whatsoever. They’re horrible. I tried hard to think of a good thing to put here, in order to give the game a half of a star, but I couldn’t even do that.

Sound: no stars

The music is so forgettable, and it’s quite annoying. It might have been better if there was no music or sound whatsoever. I don’t know what they were trying to make with the music, something techno or whatever, but it’s horrible. I tried to think of something good to say here, too, but yet again, there was nothing good about it.

Difficulty: ****

And now, the bad part of this game. You start out fifteenth (last, of course), with no way whatsoever of coming back, because your weapons are quite useless. Like XG3, you’ll probably get about halfway down the track and just blow up and “retire”. That’s what happens to me 75 percent of the time. The other 25 percent of the time, I just waddle into last place and turn off the game immediately, which is probably better than trying again.

Characters: *

Well, I’ve got to applaud Midway (the makers of this game) for trying. Unfortunately, the characters don’t have that feel about them that the F-Zero X guys did. They’re a little interesting, but not enough for me to
actually care about who’s who on the track.

Controls: ***

The controls are easy enough. They aren’t much different than a normal game’s controls. However, that
doesn’t make the game any better. Plus, turning is tight and tough, and the controls aren’t tight. That’s a problem that hurts, if only a little bit. This is the best part of this game, which is pretty pathetic.

Turning: *

As I start talking about the gameplay, the turning stinks, although not as much as it does in F-Zero: Maximum Velocity, which has the all-time worst turning in a racing game ever. This one at least lets you get your machine through the turn, but usually not after you’ve taken off some energy, which leads to your eventual retirement.

Energy: no stars

You retire before the race is over 75 percent of the time, and that’s enough for the game to get thrown out the window right away. And that happens even when I’m racing against one other live opponent and no
computers. It stinks, really.

Weapons: no stars

The weapons don’t help you whatsoever. That’s bad enough. What’s worse is that you can hardly even use
them if you’re too far back, and you’re almost always too far back of the leaders because the computers
cheat. That makes me mad as well.

Tracks: **

Well, at least the tracks are a little elaborate, although not much. At least they have a little bit of interactivity, like pulling off into a pit road for no reason whatsoever. Who knows why you would want to do that, anyway, when it really doesn’t help you get through the race anyway, whether it repairs your energy or not, as you’ll most likely retire anyway. But, the tracks are all right, still.

Multiplayer Modes: *

Well, in these modes, you can all die together! Seriously, I’ll have 3-player races in which everyone retires during the first lap, everyone laughs, then I turn off the game and vow never to play it again. Now I won’t ever play it again, for real.

Replayability: no stars

Uh, there’s no real reason why you would want to play this game again, except for maybe a good laugh, if you like losing. I don’t.

Fun Factor!: 1/2

I would have given this category no stars as well, but it is actually somewhat funny when everyone loses. So,
like most really bad games, this game has a “funny” factor, not a “fun” factor. It’s not really that funny, either.

OVERALL: no stars

I’ve given practically every reason why this game stinks, and I can’t say much more here. Was it worth the buy? Yes. I like my talking Mario a lot. The game stunk, but the Mario was worth $10. As for you all, you won’t get a Mario doll with this game, so don’t buy it, even for $2. All you’ll be doing is wasting your money. Yet again, you get what you pay for, and I certainly did.

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