Nintendo has released a great number of Mario Parties. Some say that these are pointless, as nothing seems to change. Others claim that the series only gets better with each game.

Both of these groups are wrong.

Let's look at the (first) 6 console Parties, and see which one truly is the best. In my opinion, anyway. This will be done on a 0-10 scale, with 10 being the epitome of euphoria and 0 being evil incarnate.

Graphics:

1: 8. For the N64, not bad. Nice, realistic settings in all areas. The biggest problem here is the back of Koopa Troopa's eyes.

2: 8. Again, not bad. They're actually a tad better, but I docked it because of the locations. They became a tad too outlandish. I mean, I couldn't feel like I'm going around the Mushroom Kingdom when I'm playing Crane Game on the moon.

3: 7. Better, but lost points due to the paper graphics. It's supposed to be in a toy box, but that doesn't mean paper graphics. Look at Yoshi's Story. They could've easily done something like that (denim, not paper).

4: 5. For the GCN, not that great. The boards are hideous.

5: 3. Little/no change in character design, which is not good. Why is this so low? Look at the sparklies in Fish Upon a Star, the cute little stars in Frozen Frenzy, the sickening sweetness of Toy Dream, and in fact most anywhere in the game. To me, this game screams, My Little Pony. What else is wrong? Look at Leaf Leap. What do you see in the background? That's right. A windmill, clouds, and airplanes. This is exactly wrong. Where is the Mario? The windmill should have been one of those Goomba-shaped huts from Mario Party 2, or a Paper Mario-style domicile. The planes should be Paratroopas/Goombas, or other flying enemies. This could have easily been based on Cloudy Climb from Paper Mario. But it's not. And that's why I don't like the graphics. They fall way too short.

6: 6. The boards are better, and there's a lot less pink. But still, we can do better.

Music:

1: 10, and that's docking it. I love all of the songs in this game. In fact, I think I've downloaded more songs from this than any other game... Yeah, I have.

2: 8. Not bad, not bad at all. I find it funny how the repeat mini-games have similar songs.

3: 7. Not bad, but I wouldn't call it wonderful. Except for Creepy Cavern. I'd also like to note that I'm working on making a midi of the song "Don't Hurry" from this game.

4: 6. Play 3's Frigid Bridges. Now play 4's Mr Blizzard's Brigade. Notice a pattern? It seems the even Parties copy off of the previous Party. But still, no qualms.

5: 6. Because I despise Mario Party 5, I'd like to rate this lower, but, being fair, I really can't.

6: 8. I can hum some of the songs without the game, and I truly adore the space theme. Kudos to the E. Gadd song as well.

SFX:

1: N/A. This is the only Party I don't own. I haven't played it enough to have an opinion of the SFX.

2: 7. Meh.

3: 6. The change in Luigi's voice now made him untolerable. Thankfully, there were other characters.

4: 8. Yoshi's voice has been improved greatly, and new configurations of non-characters have been added. (Translation: Guys ya can't play as have more voices.)

5: 6. Nothing changed in a good way. The Star sound has been made way too harsh, and Koopa Kid really should've had more voices. Seriously. When I played Story Mode, the simultaneous Koopa Kid sound drove me (more) bonkers.

6: 8. A big update on all character's voices, but the problems of 5 still exist. That Star really bugs me.

Characters:

1: 7. For the time, this was all very fair and reasonable. No one was too obscure or a left-out obvious choice. Except the Koopalings.

2: 8. Keeps the Mario Party favorites, inserts new Toads, etc. No complaints here, except it could've changed a bit from the last one.

3: 8. Why didn't Daisy and Waluigi raise this? Well, Daisy, a previously known princess from SML and a much-needed female, did. Waluigi was okay, but he didn't have much of a history (and still doesn't); he didn't really have an impact. But that stupid Millenium Star killed it. I'd rather have Toad.

4: 8. I'm glad that those goobers got better jobs as guides, but changing the Baby Bowsers to Koopa Kids... Random, unneccesary, and lame.

5: 4. Let's go through this one by one.
Star Spirits: Ok. Freed up other characters, though Klevar should've had a bigger role, and I hated Kalmar's southern accent. He shouldn't have it. He's a freakin' star. That's, like, racist or something. And it's not a very good accent, either.
DK: Bad. Why remove a perfectly good playable character?
Toad: Good. He's cool, and he's not really needed with the Star Spirits.
Boo: Bad. Chain Chomp isn't as cool a stealer as Boo was. And besides, can't Boo fly? Wouldn't he automatically win games like Leaf Leap?
Koopa Kid(s): It's bad enough that there's one of them. It's worse that he's a playable character, who is hated by Bowser. It's unbearable that there's three more of them... and Bowser LIKES them. What gives?
Magikoopa: Bad. That's not a Magikoopa, dunces. It's a Toadie. DERR.

6: 7. More stealing is done by Boos, Toadette is playable, the Toadie is appropriately named. Brighton and Twila? Neutral. But they kept the four Koopa Kids. BLEAH!

Boards:

1: 10. Eight perfect boards. Couldn't ask for more.

2: 8. Six perfect boards. I am asking for a little more.

3: 8. Six perfect boards.

4: 6. Six boards, but they look like %$@*. No, really. They slaughtered the items, though. Mini-Mega? Pbbt.

5: 7. Seven boards, but four of them look like Barbie's bedroom. Overall, the boards look better, though. And why isn't the Battle Space there? Hmm? HMM? I'm none too fond of the Capsules, either.

6: 7. Six boards, but I don't like the mechanics for the last two. Although a slight change, I prefer the Orbs much more than the Capsules.

Mini-Games:

1: 8. They were vunderful, except for those nasty rotating games. Owowowowow.

2: 8. Less pain, but less Mario.

3: 6. Don't let that big 70 fool you- some of these games are quite pointless. And they beat the alliteration to death.

4: 7. Mostly good. The problems? Slime Time, Domination, Order Up... good lord, I hate Order Up. WHERE IS THE MARIO?

5. 5. Pointless mini-games. Boring button mashers (as opposed to fun button mashers like 2's Psychic Safari or 4's Take a Breather). Boring luck mini-games (as opposed to fun ones, like Bowser's Big Blast). Little Mario content. Horrible AI on Clock Stoppers. And that Leaf Leap that I haven't stopped complaining about. What more could you want? I do have to give it credit for, with Coin Cache and Vicious Vending, making a feeble effort to break the "only one mini-game from each category can be a bonus game" rule.

6: 7. Mostly good. The problems? Those beepin' chore mini-games. "Hello, boys and girls! And now, let's play Mario Lawnmowers!" All in all, kinda mediocre.

1-Player/Story Mode:

1: 10. Play all the boards. Bowser will then come and attack. Beat him in his home territory, and you've "beaten the game"! Wooey! If that's not enough, you can play the fun Mini-Game Island!

2: 10. Play all the boards. Bowser will then come and attack. Beat him in his home territory, and you've "beaten the game"! Wooey! If that's not enough, you can play the fun Mini-Game Coaster! Is it any surprise why I like this so much?

3: 9. The Story Mode is fun, and is about as time-consuming as the others. But Mini-Game Island was just too fun... :(

4: 7. While basically the same thing as 3's, this seems so much slower. Maybe it's because the boards are so painful to look at.

5: 7. Innovative, yes, but... I just don't like it. Maybe it's that the boards were slaughtered, maybe it's the Koopa Kids... maybe it's just Mario Party 5. Yeah. That'll do it. The cheesy dialogue, perhaps? The limited character choice? Y'know, the idea is okay, but the storyline is horrendous.

6: 10. Short, non-mandatory, easy Stars/mini-games, and above all fun.

Other:

1: 8. The Jug o' Skills is nice, as is the Mecha Fly Guy.

2: 8. Again, the other games are quite fun.

3: 10. Duel Mode is AMAZING! I can't get enough of it.

4: 8. The Backroom Ball gets the generic "good" ranking for being just that.

5: 9. I actually like the other games a lot. Super Duel Mode, while no Duel Mode, isn't shabby, either.

6: 10. TEH MICROFONE IZ AWSUM!!!11!!!!1

What food is this most like?

1: A cinnamon bun. Absolutely wonderful... but those calories are gonna hurt. But y'know? It's a GOOD kind of hurt.

2: A fresh chocolate chip cookie. Only slightly less tasty, but it's better for you... right? Right?

3: Cheddar cheese. Good, but in a different way. This, for me, got better with age. I wasn't impressed, but after seeing what came after it, and the absences of Duel Mode, I am now.

4: Pineapple hard candy. Okay, but not the best, and kinda insubstanstial.

5: That nasty prechewed piece of gum under the table. It's too light, too pink, and there are way too many bad things about it. Although, some may find it appealing.

6: A cool glass of water. Not that impressive, but just the right thing after something unpleasant. Like that nasty prechewed piece of gum.

Overall/Fun Factor (sans exclamation point):

1: 10.
2: 9.
3: 9.
4: 7.
5: 5.
6: 8.

For the N64, get them all. For the Cube, get 6. If you want a complete set, be my guest, but don't say I didn't warn you.

In closing:

What about Mario Party -e?

Being very small, it really can't compare. The graphics aren't that great, but all in all, it's worth it, especially with its low price tag. However, only get it if you have others to play it with. It ranks about an 8, and is like a Junior Mint.

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