When Mario Pinball Land was announced, it was met with scorn and disbelief from Mario fans. Seriously, Mario Pinball Land? There had to be something better Nintendo could have thought of. This was not a game I planned on buying. That eventually changed when my sister wanted it and I bought it for her at Christmas time. It’s pinball, with Mario as the pinball. Mario is rolled up into a ball in some effort to save Peach. Why he can’t do it on foot, like he has in the past, is beyond me, but anyway, that’s the premise of this game. You knock Mario around various rooms in the game, and you try to make him roll into enemies in order to defeat them (some enemies require multiple hits). Another thing is that defeating all the enemies in a room gives you a Star, and Stars unlock doors and boards to get you farther in the game. But come on, surely this game would be an absolute waste of time, right?

This game is rated on a scale from zero to four stars, with zero being pathetic and four being excellent.

Graphics: ***½

The graphics are maybe the best I’ve seen on the GBA, which I’ve criticized for being very weak in the graphics department for a 32-bit system. These graphics finally live up to the expectations I’ve had of this system since I got it. They are three-dimensional, they look crisp, they look sharp. They are more than you’d expect out of a game such as Mario Pinball Land, that’s for sure. Of course, graphics aren’t that important in video games, unless they’re so bad that you can’t see things clearly.

Sound: *

The sound isn’t very memorable. It’s not great Mario music like we are used to from older Mario games, so don’t expect any of the tunes from this game becoming all-time great Mario tunes.

Difficulty: ***½

A problem that IGN noted before I got this game, and I later ended up agreeing with, is that unlike normal pinball, this game has none of the bumpers and other things that slow your ball (Mario) down on its way to the flippers. When there are such bumpers, your ball is able to be slowed down to the point that you can aim your shot off the flipper. Another thing is that the ramps aren’t like normal pinball ramps, where the ball slowly goes down it so you can get off a directed shot. The ball goes quickly down the ramps, and you’ve got little time to direct your shot, or else the ball’s going down the pit. In other words, anything that would make this game strategic is not present in this game. So basically, doing stuff in Mario Pinball Land is mostly based on luck. And when a game is based on luck and not skill, well, you know that’s not good. That’s especially not good when I’m playing it, because if you know me, I have very bad luck.

Another thing is that if the ball goes down the pit, the room gets reset, and all the enemies return. That means that you can’t earn your Star for an even longer time. This also goes for boss battles, where all progress you made in the battle is wiped out by going down the pit. You may say that’s the way it goes in all Mario games, but when I say “going down the pit”, I don’t necessarily mean losing a ball, as often you’re in a higher room where if you go down the pit, you’re just going into another room. You may still say that’s the way it goes in all Mario games, if you enter a warp pipe or something, but also keep in mind that hopping on a Goomba’s back or throwing a fireball at a fake Bowser is incredibly easier than trying to hit these enemies with your ball, which is basically being controlled more by luck than skill. This means that making progress in this game is very difficult. My sister had some huge celebrations when she would win Stars. After playing the game for myself, I could see why.

One nice thing about the game is that you can keep the ball in play for a long time most of the time, going to several rooms, but you really don’t make any progress. This makes Mario Pinball Land more of just a little entertaining sideshow of a video game than a valid video game, if you know what I mean.

Controls: ***½

They couldn’t get any simpler. L is for the left flipper and R is for the right flipper. However, there is no tilting of the board, which I’ve seen in Pokémon Pinball before. That may have made this game a tiny bit more interesting. And it’s not even like you get to shoot the ball up the side, which can add a little bit of variety. The ball is just automatically put in play by pressing A.

Gameplay: ½

When a game basically comes down to luck in whether you’re going to hit an enemy or not, you know it’s not going to be very fun. Maybe it can be mildly entertaining, but it’s not something that you actually have fun with. Just pushing the L or R button when the ball comes to the respective flipper is not very exciting. It’s not even addictive like pinball can sometimes be. It’s really hard to get into a game that requires very little skill and a whole lot of luck. There are items that do make the game a little more interesting, like shrinking Mario or making him larger. The fact that they only last a small amount of time- and whether they are worthwhile is pretty much left up to chance- makes them not as useful as they could be.

Replayability: *½

This game does offer a little bit of replayability, as it can be something to pass time, and I guess the luck helps out a little bit: it’s a different experience each time. That’s not to say it’s a great experience, just a different one.

Fun Factor!: no stars

I’m sorry, but there’s nothing fun about this game. Maybe my sister enjoys it, but in my opinion, this game is extremely boring. It’s not even as fun as Pokémon Pinball, and that game wasn’t a real thriller either.

OVERALL: ½

Is this game a total waste of your money? That depends on whether the price is more than $5 or not. If it is, then yes. Seriously, this game is not worth that much money. It’s a waste of time, both of the players’ and Nintendo’s. It went highly unnoticed by even Mario fans, and this time, unlike the case of Mario vs. Donkey Kong, the game isn’t very good. It’s actually pretty much the opposite, as Mario Pinball Land is perhaps the worst Mario title on a handheld system.

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