Graphics: *1/2
I knew coming into this game it would have “paper” graphics. But after playing it, I realized that Nintendo very easily could have made it 3-dimensional. Not only that, but Mario’s, Luigi’s, and Peach’s eyes looked messed-up, and it made Mario not look like... well, Mario. Plus those bushes... as for the good, the good part was Bowser’s Castle and Peach’s Castle. The staircase leading to the Crystal Palace also looked very nice. A little more effort, Nintendo, just a little...
Sound: 1/2
I wasn’t very impressed by the music in this game.
Sure, it was nice to hear Grass Land and the doomship
music once more, and I liked the music during
those “must-win battles” in the boss’s chambers. The Bowser
last battle music stunk. It was the worst music
I have heard in a Mario game since earlier in the game at
Forever Forest, which was the worst music I had
heard in a Mario game since Jr. Troopa’s music. As for
sound? The best part was that final Sound FX
badge with Yoshi’s noise that he makes. Aside from that,
there wasn’t much good stuff to say here.
Difficulty: **1/2
How can I put it... when you use a strategy guide,
you know what you’re supposed to do, but then you do that
too well, to the point in which it’s a cinch
to win. The final battle with Bowser was easier than a battle with a Spike
Top. (You may have seen this in my Spike Top Interview.) If I didn’t have
that strategy guide, I’d probably still be lost in Dry Dry Desert (why
not Desert Land?), but then everything seems so easy. The
trouble was, strategy guide or no strategy guide,
sometimes it was too easy and never too hard. The final Bowser battle,
for example, took about eight turns to finish him off, thanks to a Mega
Smash badge and Bombette. The hardest thing in this game for me was jumping
over those formerly invisible blocks in Toad Town Tunnels to get to the
Shiver City warp pipe.
Characters: **1/2
Well, the Koopalings didn’t make it, everyone. Everyone who thought they would be in it, that is. In a bit I’ll explain why they would have been absolutely perfect... Mario: Who else? Same with Peach and Bowser. The instruction manual lied again. Luigi was supposed to play a part in this one. Nope. For all of you who like the “Plumbus Wettus” over the “Moron”, go get Luigi’s Mansion. I loved the return of Super Mario Bros. characters: Koopa Troopa, Goomba, Hammer Brother, Bullet Bill, Blooper, Cheep Cheep, and the Fire Bars! (There’s more, too.) The party characters were fine, but I really wasn’t that fond of Parakarry or Sushie. Goombario proved pointless after I got a Peekaboo badge, and Watt wasn’t one of my favorites either. Of course, I loved Bombette. Jr. Troopa: Please. Anyone but that imbecile! The boss characters: Ugh. Crystal King and Huff N. Puff? Lava Piranha was all right, and Tutankoopa looked cool. The new Koopalings, the Koopa Bros., had their own theme song. If that’s not enough to convince you that Nintendo’s totally forgotten about the Koopalings, then you must work for them. The Koopalings would have been perfect...
Gameplay: ****
Okay, so there had to be a four-star effort. Of
course there had to be! Gameplay is a strong category for
Mario games, and so is...
Controls: ****
Every button (save for maybe L) had a use. That’s very good button-using.
Opening Scene: no stars
You may not believe this, but I was getting pretty desperate when I saw Mario get beat with no contest at all. Maybe not desperate. How about angry and stark raving mad?! Put it this way: they couldn’t have picked a worse way to start a game. And Peach just watches it happen...
Goomba Village: **
This was the first taste of this game. Not bad,
but it took a long time to get going. Once it did, there were
some battles, and then a couple of cinchy half-bosses
in the Goomba Bros. as well as the Goomba King
himself. Jr. Troopa? Piece of cake. At least
the game kind of redeemed itself here...
Toad Town: ***
Good. That’s what three stars mean, but especially
what Toad Town was like. A refreshing place to relax
after you do all that hard work in the other
lands. Toad Town had everything, including the biggest
collection of name puns (Minh T., Russ T., Tayce
T., etc.) in a game ever. A lot of action happened here.
Shooting Star Summit: no stars
You don’t know how much I hated this. If you’ve
played other games, this could be described as a “cinema
scene”. Link’s games (which I have only seen,
not played) have comparable scenes that last about half an
hour about spirits. Same thing here. Who cares
about the Stupid Star Spirits? I just want to beat Bowser! This was boring.
To say the least.
Toad Town Tunnels: ***1/2
This place could have also been known as Pipe Land. It was a great place to fool around and battle Bloopers, if you enjoy to battle them. You can find a powered-up jump down here. In fact, this is a kind of warp zone. It was actually very fun fooling around down here.
Koopa Village: **1/2
Here come the Fuzzies! Those annoying creatures make their Paper Mario debut here, and having to play their annoying games to win back Kooper’s shell was a pain. Of course, Koopa Koot can give you lots of Star Pieces here, and sometimes coins. Then again, what are the Star Pieces used for? (To be answered later...)
Koopa Bros. Fortress: ***
This was a fun boss’s level. This made Paper Mario fun, enjoyable, and exciting for the first time for me. After all, you’ve got that doomship music here. In fact, it’s probably the best music in this game! This could have been a castle to Grass Land, a perfect place to put Larry. But... The first battle with a boss is not that hard. Oh, and did anyone notice how dumb Bob-ombs are?
Mt. Rugged: *1/2
Oh, yes, I remember this place. Very well. The slides, the Monty Moles, the big bird, everything. Whacka’s Bump is the only thing that makes this place good. The rest is annoying.
Dry Dry Desert: **
There’s an oasis and a Sound FX Badge. That’s all I can remember.
Dry Dry Outpost: *
Sheek... there’s a loser! Give him a million items, and he’ll let you know that he’s Moustafa! So what? But you must get that Pulse Stone to put in the hole. That’s what all that junk is about.
Dry Dry Ruins: ***
Not a bad place for a boss. This could be Desert
Land, you know. Anyway, Tutankoopa doesn’t put up enough enemies to make
this a contest. The puzzles are intriguing, but not that hard. Make sure
you get the
Slow Go badge (above the Super Hammer) for Tubba
Blubba’s Castle.
Forever Forest: 1/2
I can sum up Forever Forest in six letters: BORING.
Boo’s Mansion: ***
This place had a ton of strange but cool things
to do, like jumping off a couch, playing a record game, getting Super Boots,
and becoming the original Mario, the one we all know and hate from Super
Mario Bros. Lady Bow could have saved us all a lot of trouble by not keeping
Stupid Star Spirit #3 locked up, but obviously that would have been too
easy, so first get Lady Bow nearly killed in a Tubba Blubba battle, THEN
release the Stupid Star Spirit. Really smart.
Gusty Gulch: *
This wasn’t much of anything except a place to pick up a few items and get beat up a little bit.
Tubba Blubba’s Castle: **
I wasn’t too fond of this place, especially because
of the stupid becoming invisible then visible and the
stupid having to walk super slow. Tubba Blubba’s
heart was something else, but beating him was easy. A
“Mario” happy ending comes for the ghosts. But
aren’t ghosts already dead?
Shy Guy’s Toy Box: ****
This was my favorite part of the game. The slot
machines, conveyor belts, toy train, and other toys and fun made up this
place. Sure, the Big Lantern Ghost was a pain. But he ended up beatable.
General Guy gave
me more headaches, and I only survived by using
Refresh on every turn. With a miracle, I came out on
top. This place had to be the best made board
of anywhere.
Lavalava Island: **1/2
This was a ton of work! I like all the puzzles that must be used to get across island to island. You get Sushie here- and she’ll only help you in battles at Mt. Lavalava, and that’s it.
Mt. Lavalava: ***
Mt. Lavalava was made very well. Not only do you
get the Ultra Hammer here, but then you have some very
challenging battles with Spike Tops and the battle
with Lava Piranha. On another note, “Lava Bubble” should be “Podoboo”.
Why change the enemy?
Flower Fields: *
This place was basically a maze of moving from one side to the other. It got really repetitive after a while. Plus, Huff N. Puff was one of the dumbest bosses ever. Why not Roy for Sky Land?
Shiver City: **1/2
Basically Ice Land with a new name, Shiver City
holds penguins that accuse you of murder, special items at
Toad’s House, a puzzle with a bucket and a scarf
needed, plus more pain with annoying enemies. It wasn’t annoying like other
places, but it didn’t offer that much excitement.
Crystal Palace: **1/2
This has to be one of the strangest levels or
places Mario has ever entered. The mirrors and doors and
puzzles make this place probably the craziest
of all boss boards. The Crystal King is another mystery too,
but he’s not one of my favorite bosses, that’s
for sure. Why not Lemmy?
Peach Scenes: *1/2
These were mostly boring. Making that cake for
Gourmet Guy was fun, but I really should have tried messing up the cake
and seeing what happened. When reading Bowser’s diary, no matter what you
choose, you’ll
still read the same stuff. I saw this by playing
a second file. The Quiz was fun, but nonetheless simple
considering I had the answers at my fingertips.
Some of the sneaky things you had to do were pretty hard,
which made it harder than actually beating enemies.
Eventually they ended, and I was so glad they did!
Bowser’s Castle: ***1/2
This place was great. Mazes, puzzles, quizzes,
enemies, and more. This was what a last level was supposed to be: hard
and challenging. I really enjoyed playing it until the Loop Room. I always
forgot to go straight
without going up or down, and that always threw
me off. Jr. Troopa provides more fun (or pain), but once
you’re out you have a simple walk up Peach’s
Castle to fight Bowser. The first battle’s easy, and as for the
second battle...
Final Battle with Bowser: no stars
It’s a piece of cake! If you use items and the
Peach Beam at the right times, as well as using Power Badges
(especially Mega Smash) and have a ton of Flower
Points as well as Heart Points, you can beat Bowser in as few as eight
turns. That’s because one Mega Smash can take off twelve points, and then
your partner gets a shot. I chose Bombette, in my opinion the best.
Badges: ****
Excellent! The programmers outdid themselves here,
giving tons of great Badges to use. If they only gave
more maximum Badge Points...
Items: ***1/2
Not bad, as most items are top notch, but there
are only a few bad ones. Mushrooms (Normal, Super, Ultra,
and Life) and attack items are the best.
Star Pieces: *
What happened here? Simple enough. Once you beat
the game, you don’t get to keep on playing. It ends right there. So if
you go up to beat Bowser with only, say, 50 Star Pieces, you won’t be able
to go collect the
rest. Plus, the Star Pieces don’t give you that
many good Badges, and the good ones cost tons of Star Pieces. If you could
play on, collecting all 160 would be fun to try to do.
Replayability: no stars
Simple. Once you beat the game, you can’t! You
can’t go get your First-Degree Card or 160 Star Pieces or
all of the Chain Mail letters or all of Koopa
Koot’s favors once you’ve beaten it. It’s over. After weeks
of playing this game, I felt true disappointment
after I realized the only way I could go do everything was
to turn around in Peach’s Castle (at the Save
Block you last saved at before beating the game) and go all
the way back to try to do it all again. Either
you do it all before or turn around and do it all. Very poor job here.
They should have made it so that you could beat Bowser, but continue on
until you collect everything, and then win some kind of reward. Now THAT
would have made this game near-perfect!
Koopalings: no stars (obviously)
This is something I want to bring up, because
I will never get this chance again. Seven bosses, seven lands, seven Star
Spirits, seven Koopalings. It all was in place. But noooooo... There was
a Grass Land, Desert Land, Water Land, Sky Land, Ice Land, and sort of
a Pipe Land. There was a Small Land, the opposite
of Giant Land (Shy Guy’s Toy Box). Doesn’t the
following make more sense?
Larry: Koopa Bros. Fortress (could still have
Koopa Bros. as helpers to Larry or something)
Morton: Dry Dry Desert (way too obvious why Morton
fits)
Wendy: Mt. Lavalava (there was water life here,
and then she could work with fire as a surprise)
Iggy: Shy Guy’s Toy Box (opposite of Giant Land,
a perfect place where Iggy could act just like General Guy)
Roy: Flower Fields (just like Sky Land)
Lemmy: Crystal Palace (just like Ice Land, and
it fits Lemmy’s personality of games in a palace perfectly)
Ludwig: Tubba Blubba’s Castle or Toad Town Tunnels
(either take out Tubba Blubba’s Castle and put a whole world underground,
or make Ludwig “invincible” like Tubba Blubba)
Fun Factor!: ***1/2
Most of this game is fun, save for maybe the little
boredom here or there with fighting the same enemy or
not going anywhere for a while. The slot machines
in Shy Guy’s Toy Box, the fun stuff in Toad Town I never
did, there’s tons of it! All in a great RPG...
OVERALL: ***
Couldn’t get the perfect rating because of some
major weaknesses. But this game is a MUST-HAVE for all Mario fans! If you
miss out on this one, or don’t have it already, you’ll always be missing
something from the
Mario saga, or story, just like I never had Super
Mario World or RPG. So don’t miss this one, but don’t
expect the Koopalings until Nintendo gets a jolt
of nostalgia...