Many series have been completely off the radar for many years. Punch-Out, Adventures of Lolo, Urban Champion, Balloon Fight... all of these were instant classics that were pushed aside by huge hitters like Mario, Legend of Zelda, and other such franchises. However, with the help of Super Smash Bros Brawl, one more series is pushing its way out of obsqurity and into the light of the new gaming era. That series... is Kid Icarus. With the announcement of the main character, Pit, coming into Super Smash Bros Brawl, fans clamored for a peek at the angel kid's original game.
Well, here I am with it, and 500 less Wii Points because of it. Is this game a treat worthy of the gods? Or is it a plague that scourges humanity? This is what I intend to find out today.
Like many Reviews, I'll be rating this game from one to five stars, with one being a purely evil and annoying demon and five being a loveable, pure-hearted angel.
Story: ****
Once upon a time, there were two goddesses that ruled over the world of man. They were Palutena and Medusa. Palutena is the good one, helping people, nurturing humanity, and giving them light. Medusa is the evil one, who torments the world, turns people to statues, and creates darkness. Eventually, Palutena gets fed up with Medusa and banishes her to The Underworld, trapped in a hideous form for all eternity. However, Medusa starts creating an evil demon army, and eventually overthrows Paluntena. And, she doesn't stop there. She takes Palutena's three sacred artifacts and gives them to her most powerful cronies. With the last of her strength, Palutena gives a trapped angel, Pit, a bow, endless arrows, and the order to defeat Medusa. And so, Pit sets off on his quest.
It's a good enough story, but it's still bland and boring, like most NES games. You just go from World A to the last level and rescue the damsall in distress. It was at this time that more complex plots, like those of Super Mario Bros. 3 (Bowser's secret kidnapping), Legend of Zelda, and Metroid were beginning to take life. The story is overall great, but it just is unoriginal.
Graphics: ***
I really do not prefer these graphics in any way, shape, or form to the original Super Mario Bros. The snake-like demons look worse than original Koopa Troopas, the Grim Reaper looks just plain awful, and I cannot STAND the Eggplant Wizard, especially when he segments himself. Pit and Palutena also are very unimpressive. However, I do have to say that Medusa looks pseudo-Super Nintendo, especially her snake demon. The last level also has quite a nice background, and not the boring, black one I had seen before. The graphics are just about average for an NES game.
Sound: ****1/2
What really stands out to me in this game is the sound. Just from the very beginning, we get a very memorable Greek theme that continues with what seems to be endless lines of different music until you finally get annoyed enough to press the Start button. Truth be told, the rest of the music in this game is average, and I would much rather hear all of the themes from Super Mario Bros. again. However, I have found myself humming the "Underworld" background theme on several occasions. While there aren't many, and they aren't perfect, this game leaves you with a lot of memorable background tracks. In fact, I really like the obsqure Grim Reaper song. I find this musical score a very strong area indeed, and the game's strongest point.
... Oh no, that's not good.
Gameplay
One word: awful. I absolutely HATE this game for its gameplay! Other than a few educational games, like DK Junior Math, I have never been this mad or bored at a game because of its gameplay. It seems basic enough: you run, you jump, you shoot arrows at enemies. However, instead of some power-ups and such, Pit is equipped with an exceptionally small health meter. While the weakest enemies in the game don't quite live up to the Mario-killing power of Goombas, the damage in this game easily racks up, and fast. Other than the first 15 seconds of the game, there will always be an enemy on your screen.
What's even worse is the screen scrolling. Everyone remembers the waterfall area of Super Mario Bros. 2, right? Well, Kid Icarus is like that, but much harder. Each platform is only about the size of Pit, so you have to jump perfectly or fall to a demise, all while avoiding flying octopi, magical fireballs, and snake-things. And what's even worse: the screen scrolls up, but it won't EVER scroll down! That means, make one mistake, and Pit is toast.
And all that I've cited above is only from the first level. Not world, but LEVEL.
Well, I guess that Nintendo didn't make the game IMPOSSIBLE. If you rack up enough points, you can get health upgrades after a level. However, this usually requires Pit entering an "Enemy Hive", which is loitered with enemies that usually can clip Pit's wings in a few seconds. This goes the same for well-hidden arrow upgrades, which also require a specific point total for each. Finally, there are items that do numerous things. These include keeping Pit from falling down the bottom of the screen, giving him a hammer attack, and increasing his health. However, these cost Pit a LOT of hearts, the currency in the game. In addition, the only way to get hearts is by defeating enemies, and then, you only get about one at a time. The first item that can actually HELP you costs 390 hearts, and I am not going to kill 390 enemies just to go get an item. It's a PLATFORMER, not an RPG.
Then, there are the Fortress levels. It's here that Pit collects one of "Palutena's Sacred Treasures" from Medusa's big thugs, just like any other boss. However, these fortresses are more like labrynths than fortresses. One wrong turn could get you lost in a room with lethal enemies, and then you have to backtrack three rooms to figure out which ladder to go down to, then go down and free a soldier with your mallet, climb back up, fight more enemies down a different path, free another two soldiers, run out of mallets, frantically look for more, find more, kill more enemies, free more soldiers, look for more mallets, repeat process seven times, and then fight the boss. In addition, Pit isn't a whiz at climbing ladders, and it's often taken me four to five tries to get onto one. Luckily, I was cheating and using passwords to have a lot of health, but playing the actual game and failing to grab on is a matter of life or death. This isn't much more fun than trying to memorize Donkey Kong 64's controls while going through Dark Land's fortress.
The only redeemable level is at the VERY END of the game. That's right, you have to trek through endless hours of torment just to get to one, finally good level. This level represents what should've become of Kid Icarus: a shooter. With all of his treasures, Pit flies into Medusa's final temple to take the demon out. He can fly freely as the screen slowly scrolls to the left, taking out enemies as he pleases, and finally battling a giant Medusa at the end. I actually have to admit - I had a little bit of fun playing this level. It's actually a really neat stage. If the game had one or two levels that were bad, and the rest were like this, I wouldn't care and would actually like this game. However, that's not the case. I don't want to go through ten hours of bland, enemy-infested levels to get to one good one. I want an overall good game. And this is where Kid Icarus begins to fail.
Oh, you want ratings?
Overall: *1/2
Levels: *
Fortress: *
Final Level:
****
Difficulty: *****
Do all of you remember The Lost Levels? The original Super Mario Bros. 2 that Miyamoto thought was so hard that it should be left out of America so they could make a stronger foothold? Well, when they thought about this, they forgot to warn Mr Yokoi (the developer of this game) about this. This has to be the single most aggrivating game I have ever played. Yes, I've played all of the Secret Levels in Super Mario Sunshine that are despised so much, yes I have dealt with the ultimate cheating AI of the Mario sports titles, yes I have played Super Smash Bros. Melee's Adventure Mode on the very hard difficulty.
Yes, I've done some of the toughest things in games. This one's tougher.
First of all, you have that awful screen that constantly eats up Pit's platforms like a black hole. Then, you have the enemies that consistantly leech off your health until Pit is nothing more than a dried-out shell of a birdman. But, the worst is not yet to come.
Remember the frustration of Ice Land? Not only was it long and complex, but the ice was a constant hazard. Well, this is where Ice Land came from. Many of the platforms in this game are encased in an icy coating. The most common thing to happen is for Pit to slide across it, failing to be able to jump, and falling off to a bottomless void. Or, you could try to stop your character by crouching. However, if you do it too hard, Pit sinks straight through the platform, either to his doom or onto ANOTHER icy platform! In addition, many icy platforms just lead to areas covered with health-zapping lava, which slowly drains away Pit's health as a Metroid would do to Samus, all while fire beasts are hitting him from all sides.
But, my most prominant frustration comes from one single enemy: the Grim Reaper. Ol' Grim isn't exactly what he used to be. He just slowly drifts back and forth along a platform. However, if he sees you, he suddenly puts on some kind of mask, starts dancing like a housemother trying to squish a roach, and summons four mini-grims to beat you. These aren't just passing by, like the octopus enemy. These go directly toward Pit, trying to zap the life right out of him. Though Pit can dispatch these, the Reaper just summons more and more as long as Pit is within hit sights. In addition, Grim is invincible to attacks while dancing, and it takes about 10 hits to defeat him with regular arrows. Add in the fact that there are at least FOUR in the first level, and you have one Underwhere of a headache. Plus, these Ridiculus Reapers are often guarding health-restoring items, item shops, or just blocking the only way up to the next platform.
I have no idea how people could say that this game is "challenging". It's more than challenging. It's like throwing Very Hard SSBM mode, Ice Land, Super Mario Sunshine's Bonus Levels, Tubba Blubba (without heart), Boos, and a history book inside a blender, and you got this. And let me tell you, it tastes just plain repulsive.
Passwords: *1/2
And yet, there must be a saving grace to the game, right? Yes, there must be, there's a password entry that gives you cheat codes! There must be at least some hope! Maybe, if I can just give Pit infinate flight and kill those nasty reapers, I can have some fun.
You could, but not anymore.
The original Kid Icarus, for anyone who still has their old NES and a live Ebay account, had many cheat codes that basically made Pit a god. However, for this Virtual Console re-release, all of those codes are gone. We still have the insanely long passwords that get you to the next level, with tons of power-ups even! But not the fun codes. Not the original redeemable quality from this game. That's been destroyed to make the game more "fair". The only real use for the codes is to skip ahead to the final level, all items intact, to see how the game was SUPPOSED to be made. Otherwise, it's a pathetic waste.
Fun Factor!: NO STARS
I know I only said one to five. This category doesn't even deserve a single star! All I did was spend an entire hour of my life, which could've been wasted on Mario, on the same boring and torturous first level. After five hours, on level 1-3, I finally just decided to give up on the game completely. Usually, I have a blast and the game was finished (most Wario games), or I just plain have fun (Super Mario Bros), or it's an RPG. Not with Kid Icarus. It's a mellowdramatic tale in the land of myths and monsters that destroys all fun with the moving bottomless hole of the dead and the invincible, impossible to destroy Grim Reapers. Even an above-par final level doesn't add to how blatantly pathetic this game is when it comes to fun. So finally...
OVERALL: 1/2 of a star out of 5
If the NES were an Asian resturant, Kid Icarus would be that little white ball that looks really delicious, but then you eat it and throw up. I was overall disgusted by the game's quality in gameplay and difficulty, and was simply tortured doing it. I actually planned to review this game two months ago, but just recently did so because I consistantly had nightmares about the game. Each Grim Reaper sliced away at my gaming spirit, each death song striking a chord of discontent. If it wasn't for Super Mario World and Donkey Kong Country 2 picking me back up, I might've just had doubts on games altogether. I've had more fun playing NES Baseball, Duck Hunt, and even the bonus levels of Super Mario Sunshine!
Be thankful to have Pit in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Be thankful you HAVEN'T seen where he came from yet...
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