Warning: This game is unrated but contains brutal violence, shattering bones, and rodent abuse. If you are disturbed by this, perhaps you shouldn’t be playing this game!
If you like the BattleToad games but can’t withstand their brutal difficulty, then perhaps you’d like BattleToads for the Arcade. For those of you lemmings who don’t know BattleToads, it was one of Rare’s early franchises before DKC or Banjo-Kazooie. BattleToads was clearly made to mock the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but the games still have such a following. But enough about that. Time to review BattleToads for the Arcade.
Story: 8/10
Three normal Joes from Oxnard, California-
David Shar, Morgan Ziegler and George Pie- were living the carefree life
until one day, Professor T. Bird (who, strangely, isn’t in the game this
time) chose them to become the legendary heroes Rash, Zitz and Pimple…
THE BATTLETOADS! Now they’re toad-ally awesome supertoads bent on saving
the world from The Dark Queen and her evil alliance.
Characters: 9/10
We have three characters to choose from
in the game, which are Zitz (The head BattleToad and super-intelligent
amphibian), Rash (the cool, yet ill-tempered rebel of the bunch), and Pimple
(the Toad who talks *and fights* with his hands). Each Toad has his own
unique abilities called Smash Hits. Some examples would be Zitz drilling
people’s heads with “Killa Drilla”, Rash growing a giant, spiked cleat
when he kicks with “Big Bad Boot”, and Pimple sprouting a football helmet
when headbutting with “Helmet Headbutt”. Aside from our heroes, we have
The Dark Queen’s Army, a slew of vermin like Rats, Pigs, Reindeer, Bats,
Snakes, and other enemies, and vicious bosses like General Slaughter, King
Karnath, The Robo-Rat, Big Blag, and Robo-Manus.
Controls: 10 /10
For a game with just two buttons and
a joystick, it’s actually pretty complex. One button lets you jump and
one button lets you attack, sure, but depending on what buttons you press
at what time, your toad can do different things. Kick stuff, pick up stuff,
eat flies to restore health, throw enemies, it all depends on what controls
you do at the time.
Violence: 11/10
This game is a gorefest... and I love
it for that! At the end of every level you get a “Korpse Kount”, which
counts how many bad guys you obliterated in the level.
Music: 10/10
David Wise, who composed the music for
the Donkey Kong Country games, helped out with the BattleToad music. And
once again, he did a fantastic job. Whether it’s fighting on a battleship
or a Mysterious Descent Downwards, Mr. Wise did a great job composing the
right sound for each level.
Levels: 8/10
There’s a space level, a snow level,
another space level, a descent level, a temple level, and a first-person
shooter-styled final level. This game has it all... except for T. Bird.
Overall: 9.9/10
This game is a lot of fun. If you’re lucky enough to find an arcade machine of this, start pouring in quarters. You’ll be glued to the game ‘til the minute you beat it. My only complaint about this game is that it doesn’t have Professor T. Bird. He was in all the other games... Ah well. The game is still fun, and I highly recommend you search for one of this beauties at your local arcade, or download it for a MAME emulator like I did... Or if you’re filthy stinkin’ rich, search for one on eBay.
Enjoy!
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