One evening Toad is listening on his iPod to Weird Al�s �I�ll Sue Ya�. Then he feels very sleepy. He falls asleep listening to the �I�ll Sue Ya� song. Then when he wakes up...

Toad: *yawn* I�m hungry.

So Toad goes downstairs to get some breakfast. He has his favorite, Mushroom O�s cereal, but the box is empty.

Toad: No cereal left? I must have ate it all... I�ll sue! That�s what I�m gunna do!

So Toad calls his lawyer, and tells him he wants to sue the cereal box company because he is out of cereal. The lawyer agrees, and says that is a good reason to sue. Toad gains renewed confidence. So he goes out and while he is walking he trips on a rock.

Toad: Ouch. That kind of hurt. I�ll sue!

So Toad calls up his lawyer again and says he wants to sue somebody about the rock. The lawyer suggests that he should sue the house the rock is in front of, and that house happens to be Toadette�s.

Toad (on phone): But I can�t sue my own girlfriend!

Lawyer (on phone): It was her own stupid fault for having that rock there.

So Toad agrees and goes on with his day.

Toad: Hmmm... I want to sue somebody.

Toad orders a pizza. Then he goes outside to his driveway and drops tacks all over it. Then the pizza guy comes up and pops his tires on the tacks.

Delivery Guy: Aww man!

The Shy Guy wearing a delivery hat walks up and rings the bell.

Toad: I�ll sue ya! You delivered my pizza thirty seconds late! I�m gunna sue ya! That�s what I�m gunna do!

Delivery Guy: Today is just not my day. Here�s your pizza.

Toad: Oh, I didn�t want any pizza.

Delivery Guy: ...

Toad puts on a clown wig and nose, then walks into town.

Luigi: o_0

Toad: I�ll sue ya! You looked at me funny!

Luigi: 0_0

Toad: And I�m suing you for that second face too!

Luigi: ...

Toad: And those three dots!

Satisfied with his beginning of a good day, Toad decides to take off his costume, and walks into a toy store. Toad walks down the aisle and sees a nerf ball.

Toad: Hmm, let's see, I sure am hungry. Hmm, it doesn't seem as if there is anything suggesting this is inedible, so let's see if this works...

Toad stuffs the nerf ball in his mouth, and starts to choke on it. Toad runs up to the clerk and the clerk quickly gives him the heimlick, and the nerf ball comes out just seconds before he would have choked to death.

Toad: I'm gonna sue ya! You never gave me any kind of warning saying that I could have choked on that!

Clerk: Oh come on, it's common knowledge not to eat it.

Toad: Well someone stupid like me didn't know that, so now I'm gonna sue!

Toad leaves the store and enters a Home Depot.

Toad: Oh, hammer. Me like!

Toad grabs the hammer and quickly goes to the register to purchase it.

Clerk: Here you go, enjoy!

Toad: Wait, there's no instructions?

Clerk: Well duh, it's a hammer, you should know what to do with it.

Toad: Oh.

Toad chucks the hammer directly at his toes.

Toad: %(#*^%(*#^&(*! You did this!

Clerk: Me?

Toad: You knew I was going to drop the hammer on my toes! That's it, I'm gonna sue!

Toad runs out of the store and is on his way to the lawyer�s office, when all of a sudden he feels a raindrop hit him.

Toad: Augh! I'm wet! That's it, I'm sueing you, raindrop!

Raindrop: ...

Toad: Ha, you know you're going to lose all your money so you're scared speechless.

Raindrop: ...

Toad: Ha!

Toad goes up to Luigi�s house and knocks on the door.

Luigi: Umm... Hello again, Toad.

Toad punches Luigi in the face.

Luigi: OW!!! THAT HURT!

Toad: Well it hurt my knuckles when I hit your face! I'm gunna sue!

Toad continues on, when he sees Mario.

Toad: Mario, can you stand here?

Mario: Sure!

Mario stands next to Toad, who grabs a knife and slashes himself, then hands the knife to Mario.

Toad: AUUUGGHH!

A crowd forms around a bleeding Toad, Mario with that knife in his hands.

Toad: Mario, I'm sueing you, you stabbed me!

Mario: I did not!

Koopa (from the crowd): Suuuure you didn't!

After Mario is thrown in jail, Toad continues on his way down to the lawyer�s office and enters. He sees that his lawyer is not there, so he grabs the phone and calls him.

Lawyer: Hello, I am sorry but I must put you on hold.

Toad: What? You cannot put ME on hold! I'm suing you!

Lawyer: You can't sue me, I'm your lawyer!

Toad: I'll be my own lawyer!

Toad quickly gathers the many lawsuit forms and runs down to the courthouse and gives them all to the judge.

Judge: Well, we got a lot of lawsuits to solve.

The judge calls all the people Toad is suing and they are all in court with him.

Judge: Toad has won all the lawsuits.

Lawyer: What? But you-

Judge: I have spoken!

The Judge bangs that little hammer thing, and hands Toad all his money. Oh, it's nothing much, only a few billion coins, but not nearly enough to satisfy Toad.

Toad: I'll sue ya and take all of your money!

Toad points to a random Goomba in the jury.

Goomba: Why are you sueing me?

Toad: ... Aw, do I even need a reason?!

Judge: No, but I have a reason to end this before you sue the entire world!

Toad: Hey, I'll sue ya and take all of your money for that, I never said this could end!

Judge: Well I'll sue you for sueing me!

Toad: Well I'll sue you for sueing me for sueing you!

Judge: Well I'll sue you for sueing me for sueing you for sueing me!

Toad: Well I'll sue you for sueing me for sueing you for sueing me for sueing you times infinity! Ha, can't beat that! Ha, take that! I win it all! Hahahahah, I'll sue ya!

Did you like this submission? Whoops! You're not logged in! If you were, you could leave the author of this submission some feedback, even vote it into Little Lemmy's Land! Why not login now?

Fill out the boxes below if you would like to invite a friend to this page. Friend's Name Email (required) Your Name Email