It is a crummy morning... according to Luigi, who has been waiting all day for Mario to return with the much anticipated package that'll decide whether they get to leave Nebraska or not. Luigi has had nothing to do but wait inside the dusty old garage all day, too nervous and worried sick to do anything other than wait... and wait.

Just then, Mario comes around the bend in his go-kart!

Luigi: Mario! Mario! Gosh dang, Mario! I've been waiting all flipping day!

Mario: I'm sorry, Bro... but the dang Koopas have been trying to keep me from delivering this very important package.

Luigi: Bah, excuses, excuses! Give me the package! I can't stand the anticipation!

Mario looks behind him, making sure there are no Koopas watching, then he hands Luigi the package. Luigi, nervous as ever, opens the package to read the news.

Luigi: ... Wait! There's no news at all!

Luigi pulls out a note that says "You stink! Haha!"

Luigi: Mario! What did you do with the message?

Mario: What? Them dang Koopas have flipped me over once again!

Luigi: No, Mario. There have never been any Koopas involved... YOU are trying to keep me here for good!

Mario: Luigi! Calm down, I swear!

Luigi: YOU may enjoy the drunk-butt locals and the constant egging of houses and cars, but for gosh sake I don't! I want to get out of here whether you go with me or not! ... So Mario, I'm afraid it's come to this.

Luigi pulls out a Fire Flower. Mario starts to sweat briskly.

Luigi: Mario? Give me the message...

Mario: Luigi! No!

Luigi: GIVE ME THE FLIPPING MESSAGE!!!

Luigi starts insanely firing fireballs. Mario dodges all of the shots and runs out of the garage.

Luigi: YOU�D BETTER RUN, YOU SON OF A PLUMBER!!!

Just then, Morton appears behind Luigi.

Morton: Oh Luigi! You need to take a chill pill!

Luigi turns and blasts the intruding Morton Koopa Jr. with magnificent firepower.

Morton (as a pile of ashes): Owww...

===

Afterwards, Mario finds himself pacing in the dusty plains outside of town.

Mario: Dang Koopas, they're destroying my life. Now I'm stuck here with the hillbillies and my brother wants me dead...

Mario spots a Koopa waltzing around, picking flowers. He dump-tackles him, punches him in the face a good couple of times, and holds him up by his neck.

Koopa: Ack! Muh... Mario! Pl-lease... let... go!

Mario: Tell me what you know about the successful snatching of a very important message I was supposed to be able to give my miserable brother!

Koopa: I can't! I will be killed!

Mario: Either you get killed or else you will BE KILLED!!!

Mario pulls out a hammer.

Koopa: Ok, ok! ... In order to find the message that was stolen from you, you must take on King Bowser. He's the king of all us pitiful Koopas who work for minimum wage! If you can put him in some sort of painful submission move, maybe he'll lead you to where the message is... Get me?

Mario: ... Got it!

Mario drops the Koopa.

Koopa: Remember, you didn't hear ANY of this from me...

Mario walks off into the distance, hoping to find the message that will decide, ultimately, if he and Luigi may return home to the Mushroom Kingdom.

===

Luigi: Dang flipping Mario! I can't believe he's turned on me! Gosh, I wish I could flipping tear his mustache off!

Just then, a Koopa appears before Luigi.

Luigi: Oh! What a cute turtle! ... I think I will kick it onto its back! Hahahaha!

Luigi proceeds to kick the Koopa, only to be shocked stiff by a large ZAP upon contact.

Koopa: Zap Shroom, WIMP!!! You're coming with me!

Luigi: Not a chance!

Koopa: I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice, being all paralyzed and stuff.

Luigi: ... FLIP!!! You're right! Dang the luck! Dang it dang it DANG IT!!!

The Koopa drags Luigi away by his feet. Morton, revitalized from the ashes, gives us his thoughts.

Morton: Oh dang, Luigi... what were you thinking? Paralyzed people have no choice or freedom in this world that is NEBRASKA!!! ... Oh, by the way, I could really go for a plate of wedding-flavored cake right about now. I'm gonna go see if they have any in this sooty garage... Dang, can't even find a fridge. That stinks, I'll just drop by Dairy Queen then...

Morton goes on his way, out of the scene.

WILL OUR BROTHERS FROM ANOTHER MOTHER EVER GET OUT OF NEBRASKA? STAY TUNED!

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