Mashi: Bob-omb, look, look, look!

Bob-omb: What?

Mashi: Our audience members aren't made out of cardboard! I'm beginning to earn the respect to have a few real members now!

Bob-omb: I would attribute that to your partner, not you.

Mashi: What partner?

Bob-omb: (annoyed) The partner you agreed to coop interview with. He should be entering with the interviewee soon.

Liggy: Did I get the right entrance this time? I tried a different door but all I found was cardboard!

Bob-omb: If you're the one who's conducting this interview with Mashi, where's the interviewee?

Liggy: I was under the impression that one would be provided here! Was I supposed to get one?

Bob-omb: *sigh* Yes.

Mashi: Bob-omb, you're the Interviewee.

Bob-omb: What?

(Mashi throws Bob-omb into the Interviewee chair and he proceeds to blow up.)

Mashi: Oops. Don't worry, he'll be fine, he can reincarnate because his shell is indestructible.

Liggy: Are you sure? I've never done this before so I wouldn't know. Is this the part where we tie him to the chair and run?

(Bob-omb reassembles himself on the Interviewee chair.)

Bob-omb: No, this is the part where you ask me questions.

Liggy: But that sounds boring! I didn't agree to this!

Mashi: Yeah! Why are you so boring, Bob-omb?

Bob-omb: You're supposed to ask me questions about my race!

Mashi: Are you North American, South American, European, African, Asian, Australian, or Antarctican?

Bob-omb: (with anger) My Mario race!

Mashi: Don't become too angry now, you may blow your fuse!

Liggy: I'll take that as German!

Mashi: Fine then! Bob-omb, if Mario finished after Luigi, and Luigi finished after Peach, who finished first?

(Bob-omb's fuse lights and he blows up once more.)

Mashi: I warned you!

(Bob-omb recreates itself.)

Mashi: Hey Liggster, shall we appease the grave and dull Bob-omb? It would only be the polite thing to do.

Liggy: Fine. Bob-omb, what is your race?

Bob-omb: You just answered that question with itself! It's pretty obvious that I'm a Bob-omb.

Mashi: What's the windup thing on your back supposed to be for? It's always spinning when I'm with you.

Bob-omb: That's because it represents the emotions that we feel and, to an extent, our walking speed. When we're angry we begin running and our windups spin faster, as opposed to when we're relaxed and calm, then it spins slowly. If our windups spin too quickly however, our fuses will light and we'll explode.

Mashi: Speaking of explosions, why do so many of you exist if you all keep blowing up?

Bob-omb: Well, some Bob-ombs are specially created so that they may 'reincarnate' after blowing up naturally. When a Bob-omb truly ceases to exist, however, more are created through magical means by transmutation of blocks or machinery, usually by Magikoopas.

Mashi: So, what you're saying is a euphemism for "Some of us are indestructible. Others are created from useless and meaningless blocks." That's swell!

Liggy: How come some of you are able to explode and not be harmed, while others explode once and are gone forever?

Bob-omb: That's an interesting question! You see, those Bob-ombs that have a personal, unfulfilled goal continue to reincarnate every time they explode. That's why Bob-ombs like Bobbery and Bombette, who wish to help Mario, never explode permanently. On the other hand, those created just for Bowser's army have no personal goal or motivation, so they simply explode once and never do anything again. It's an interesting cycle, and there are several Bob-ombs who try to achieve something obviously impossible so they'll keep being reincarnated! I personally believe that-

Liggy: What determines the color of a Bob-omb? On a related note, why are most of them black?

Bob-omb: *sigh* When Bob-ombs are made, they have to get painted or they won't work correctly. However, Bob-ombs that are used by Bowser, which usually only explode once, are made with black paint, as black is the cheapest color.

Mashi: I've noticed that in Super Mario 64, the Pink Bob-ombs were good guys. Does color have an affect on a Bob-omb's allegiance, and why do some Bob-ombs become good guys anyway?

Bob-omb: No, the color of Bob-ombs doesn't decide which side they're on. Those Pink Bob-ombs probably repainted themselves Pink because they wanted Mario to easily differentiate them from foes. As for your second question, it really varies between each Bob-omb. Just like humans and other creatures, Bob-ombs have feelings too, and they have free will. Most decide to stay with Bowser, since he's usually the one who created them, but some decide that they want to be good and join the good guys.

Liggy: Do you have any blue paint?

Bob-omb: ... Why?

Liggy: Just asking. Or do you like purple more?

Mashi: Bob-omb, answer his question!

Bob-omb: I told you, questions must be about my Mario race!

Mashi: Does your race have blue paint?

Bob-omb: (angered) No!

Liggy: Purple paint?

Bob-omb: (still angered) No! We don't have any paint!

Mashi: In Super Mario 64, Bob-ombs released coins. Why?

Bob-ombs: It used to be standard for Bowser to transform Mushroom Coins into enemies frequently, Bob-ombs included, hoping that it would cause something near a recession of some kind. All it caused was an inflation to Mario's pocketbook.

Mashi: Why don't you blow up coins?

Bob-omb: Because once Bob-ombs are reincarnated, they no longer have access to the coin within them (which they were usually created out of or given) and therefore would not 'blow up coins'.

Mashi: If I put in a bunch of coins in you, would I have access to infinite coins?

Bob-omb: No... You would have the same amount of coins.

Liggy: Let's get more specific here. Why is the Big Bob-omb so different from normal Bob-ombs?

Bob-omb: Bowser decided to make Big Bob-omb out of a Star so Mario wouldn't be able to get it. That also explains why he's more durable than most Bob-ombs.

Liggy: What are you made of?

Bob-omb: Mushroom coins, as I said before.

Mashi: Don't give Liggy that sass! Are all Bob-ombs this rude?

Bob-omb: I would suppose not, since most Bob-ombs can't speak.

Liggy: Since I don't like getting sass, we might as well do audience questions! Who here isn't made of cardboard?

YTtF: I'm not!

Liggy: Okay, you in the back! What's your question?

YTtF: Why do Bob-ombs have no mouths?

Bob-omb: That's actually a good question! You see, Bob-ombs have a speaker in the front of them that's really hard to see. They have no mouth because it's cheaper just to put a speaker. Some of them lack even that due to the cost issue I mentioned before.

Mashi: My turn, my turn! You, in Seat 9!

Bob-omb: I don't think that person is al-

Kemak: ...

Bob-omb: ... Is that seriously your pet rock again?

Mashi: Kemak asks "Why do Bob-ombs have no mouths?"

Wind Crystal: Whoosh!

Bob-omb: ...

Kemak: ...

Wind Crystal: ...

Liggy: ...

Mashi: FRIVOLOUS.

Liggy: Let's take another question. How about seat 60?

Kamek: Why do-

Bob-omb: (annoyed) Mashi, get your pet rock out of here.

Mashi: Actually, that's Kamek, not Kemak. The e and a are switched.

Bob-omb: My apologies! Continue, please.

Kamek: Why do some Bob-ombs have children if they're all made in factories?

Bob-omb: If two Bob-ombs want to raise a child, they can take one of the newly assembled Bob-ombs and adopt it. It works just the same if one you would want to adopt a child.

Mashi: Kamek! Remember me?

(Kamek suddenly disappears.)

Mashi: Hmm? That was certainly odd. One more question, anyhow! You, in seat 20 times the log of the square root of 10!

Audience: ???

Liggy: Seat 10.

Bowser: How do Bob-ombs feel upon realizing that their purpose when being created was to blow up in the hopes of hurting a plumber?

Bob-omb: Usually, most Bob-ombs don't even know that their purpose is to just blow up. The few who do usually don't care enough. That's why most Bob-ombs aren't able to reincarnate; they're too apathetic about their lives.

(A bell starts to ring.)

Liggy: That's it. I was only paid for an hour.

Mashi: And I have nothing more to do here.

(Liggy, Mashi, and the audience get up and leave. The bell stops ringing when most of the people are out.)

Bob-omb: Well, I�d better get going too. I need to get home before the lights-

(The lights click off.)

Bob-omb: ...

Did you like this submission? Whoops! You're not logged in! If you were, you could leave the author of this submission some feedback, even vote it into Little Lemmy's Land! Why not login now?

Fill out the boxes below if you would like to invite a friend to this page. Friend's Name Email (required) Your Name Email