Antiriku930: Hello, and welcome to our interview studio. Today Mashi and I will be interviewing Mario. Let's just cut to the interview. So Mario, what is your last name?

Mario: Shouldn't we wait for Mashi first?

(Mashi crashes through the window.)

Bob-omb: I thought you said you weren't doing that, Mashi.

Mashi: I changed my mind.

Mario: Errr, hello.

Mashi: Hi Mario! You have a funny mustache!

Mario: I guess I do? Well, anyway, my last name is Mario, Antiriku930. I was named this way by chance; my parents, being Italians, moved to New York with a weak grasp of the English language. They were also very traditional and customary, so rather than flying to America, they traveled the Atlantic by ship. After Luigi and I were delivered to them by the Yoshi Island swallow, they saw the name "Mario" on my nametag and "Luigi" on Luigi's; my name being Italian for Sailor and Luigi's being Italian for Warrior. Our parents decided to call our last names "Mario", despite my name being Mario, after their voyage to New York.

Mashi: What's your favourite colour?

Mario: (Looks at self) Err...

Bob-omb: I would find it evident that it be red, Mashi.

Mashi: What makes you say that?

Mario: ... Yes, it's red.

Antiriku930: Red is my 2nd favorite color. So, Mario. What is your favorite enemy to fight?

Mario: Goombas. They are the easiest to kill. Thus they are good for training.

Antiriku930: Mine is Bowser. He's really hard to kill.

Mario: Who's your favorite Mashi?

Mashi: I'm the one that's supposed to be asking the questions here! So umm, Bob-omb, ask a question.

Bob-omb: (Sighs) Mario, why do you deal with Bowser so often? Wouldn't it be much more pragmatic to just jail or kill him?

Mashi: Bob-omb, this is a PG interview, no vulgar language! Use a euphemism instead!

Bob-omb: "Getting rid of him for good", then.

Mario: Well, there are various reasons I won't just jail or kill him. Peach and I have thought about jailing him before, but it always ended up being too hard. He always escaped before I could capture him. And even if I did capture him, he would probably just break out. As far as getting rid of him for good though. It's more difficult than it looks to just defeat him. Not to mention that he's survived lava pits, giant falls, thousands of bops to his head, and many other things! And even if he could be disposed of, I need to keep my adventures PG!

Mashi: So you don't want to stop him because you want to make money off of your games?

Mario: No, of course not, (In a whisper) primarily! (In a normal voice) There's honor to deal with, as well as my limits. Call me silly or bad, but I sort of like the ploys Bowser makes. It keeps me busy. And whenever there's a problem that involves the Mushroom Kingdom that doesn't involve Bowser, he's always there to lend hand, like in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

Mashi: Sounds frivolous.

Antiriku930: What does frivolous mean again?

Mashi: It mea-

Antiriku930: Nevermind that. So Mario, do you think it is time for audience questions?

Mario: No, not yet. You ask one question, and then Mashi asks one question and then audience questions.

Antiriku930: Okay. So... Mario what is your favorite type of fish?

Mario: Cheep-Cheep is my favorite.

Antiriku930: I meant from Earth, not Mushroom Kingdom.

Mario: Oh... Uh... Tiger Shark?

Antiriku930: Mine is koi. Infact I have a koi at my house.

(Antiriku930 pulls out a picture of a koi in a tank)

Antiriku930: It's name is Jackie.

Mario: That is a weird name for a fish.

Mashi: So Mario, why do you become weaker when you're not wearing your hat? Such as in Super Mario 64, where enemies did more damage when you didn't have it on.

Mario: Oh, well, you see. Since Plit is a magical land, various objects are given magical qualities. My hat is one of them. Because of it's magical uniqueness, my hat can exercise various other magical qualities, as can be seen in the wing cap, the metal cap, and other hats. The reason my hat is so special is up to interpretation. Objects with significant importance generate enough energy to become magical; my hat is a part of my identity, so it's reason enough to give me the power to brave whatever Bowser throws at me.

Mashi: So the more hats you wear, the more powerful you become?

Mario: Err, no, i-

Mashi: So does that hat give you courage?

Mario: Well, not necessarily. When I fight Bowser, I fight him because it's the moral thing to do. It would be despicable of me to do nothing while the Princess was kidnapped.

Mashi: Bob-omb, ask another question.

Bob-omb: But didn't Antir-

Mashi: Ask!

Bob-omb: (Sighs) Mario, how do you feel when you hurt Bowser's Army, upon realising that they're just normal troops fighting for a living and not because they're truly evil?

Mario: Well, not all the troops are evil, that's true, but a good majority of them are very mean! I usually try to avoid hurting them too badly when we fight, but I will when necessary. I usually don't feel guilty either, since all of Bowser's Army intends to hurt me, so if I hurt them, it's in self defense. When they don't try to hurt me or get in my way, however, I'm more than willing to work with them. Just as I am with you, Mashi, and the Mario monsters in the audience.

Mashi: But our audience is made out of cardboard.

Antiriku930: The audience isn't made out of cardboard. Just for proof, watch this. Audience, if you are cardboard then do NOT attack Mashi.

(Half of the audience attack Mashi)

Mashi: Ack!

Antiriku930: Well, the rest of the audience seems to be cardboard. If you are cardboard or human get in your seat!

(Nobody moves)

Antiriku930: Oh right, you guys are monsters... If you are alive or cardboard get in your seat!

(Everybody runs to their seats in the audience including Mashi who seems to be confused)

Antiriku930: Your seat is up here Mashi...

Mashi: Oh, right.

Antiriku930: So, let's let the audience ask some questions.

(Antiriku930 points at a koopa)

Antiriku930: Seat 457! What's your question?

Koopa in Seat 457: Why did you become a plumber?

Mario: That's a good question Bowser.

Koopa in Seat 457: I'm not Bowser...

Mario: Ok Bowser. Well, when my carpentry business took a turn for the worse, I decided to quit and become a plumber. After I became a plumber I worked for a person who had a broken bathtub drain. Luigi and I started working on it and we got sucked into this planet.

Antiriku930: That's a good story Mario. How about you Goomba in seat 45?

Goomba in Seat 45: What's your favorite power up?

Mario: I would have to say the Fire Flower. It's always been there when I needed it and it was also one of the first power ups I learned to use.

Antiriku930: Wasn't the hammer the first power-up you learned to use?

Mario: Yes, actually.

Bob-omb: Antiriku, it's the audience questions.

Antiriku930: Like I care. You, Cardboard Paratroopa in seat 39!

Cardboard Paratroopa: ...

Mario: Good question! Well, when I get thirsty I go to my kitchen and get a cup of water.

Antiriku930: Mario, what did he ask?

Mario: He asked what I do when I am thirsty.

Antiriku930: Uh... Okay? Well... I guess that's all for now. Bye folks!

TRANSMISSION END

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