Announcer: Good afternoon, folks. Welcome to another viewing of Jalvo the Slime�s Interview Shoooooooow! Now it�s your host, Jasper the Magikooooooopa!
Jasper: Hello one and all. Today I resurrected-
Jalvo: We resurrected.
Jasper: Today �we� resurrected the one and only Burt the Bashful!
(Bouncing is heard throughout the studio. Burt bounces onto the stage.)
Burt: Hi everybody. It�s a pleasure to be here.
Jasper: So tell me something about yourself.
Burt: Well I like to bounce from room to room, but I am afraid of people seeing me without my pants.
Jasper: Why your pants?
Burt: I have a tendency of losing my pants.
Jasper: How? I mean, your pants go up to your face?
Burt: Well I didn�t have a belt for the longest time. It was only recently that I purchased a belt.
Jasper: Ok, but how do eggs defeat you?
Burt: Well eggs didn�t really hurt me.
Jasper: So?
Burt: They just bounced off of me. I have a body that absorbs power.
Jasper: Then how were you defeated?
Burt: During the battle, I was bouncing around and I realized that my pants were slipping.
Jasper: And?
Burt: My pants fell off and I was defeated by embarrassment.
Jasper: That�s a lame way to be defeated.
Burt: Tell me about it.
Jasper: So what did you do afterwards?
Burt: Well after I was defeated, I went to a store and bought a belt.
Jasper: Why aren�t you wearing the belt now?
Burt: Well I have no arms to put it on. I brought it with me though.
Jasper: Let me help.
(Jasper uses his magic and synches Burt�s belt around his waist.)
Burt: Thank you.
Jasper: No problem. So, what are you?
Burt: Well I�m a Burt.
Jasper: Your species isn�t your name.
Burt: Oh, but it is. My species is called Burt.
Jasper: Then what is your name?
Burt: Well it�s Bert. It�s spelled with an e instead of a u.
Jasper: Ok then. So Bert, what did you do after buying a belt?
Bert: Well, I tried to show up for Yoshi�s Island 2, but they told me no.
Jasper: How come?
Bert: Well Raphael was the first one to ask, and they told him no but that they would feature him in the opening to the game.
Jasper: So did that apply to you?
Bert: No, they told me I was only a mid-boss and the cameo was for bosses.
Jasper: Did they give you anything?
Bert: They decided that I could be a Burt Bro but I said no.
Jasper: Why?
Bert: Well they wanted me to be smaller. I can�t become smaller.
Jasper: All right. So it�s time for audience questions!
Random Tourist: Oh boy! I hope they choose my seat!
Jasper: Just because you said that I won�t.
Random Tourist: Oh�.
Jasper: Seat SPINE!
Spiny: So why is your nose red?
Bert: Well, originally before the Burts were hired by Bowser, we were clowns for the Koopling Bros. Circus. So we keep the red nose as a reminder of our past.
Jasper: Seat GO BANANAS!
Donkey Kong: How did you get your pants back on if you don�t have arms?
Bert: A machine was made for us to jump in, and it pulls up our pants.
Jasper: Seat PRINCE OF THE POND!
Prince Froggy: Do Burts have hair?
Bert: Most of us are bald, except we have a few hairs that stick up.
Prince Froggy: Is there a Burt with hair?
Bert: Funky Burt does. He grew a nice afro.
Jasper: Well I have to thank you for the Interview.
Bert: My pleasure.
Jasper: But are you going to pay me for the service of putting on your belt?
Bert: No. I don�t plan on it.
Jasper: Well then, do you have any last words?
Bert: No, not reall-
(Jasper waves his wand and Bert�s belt falls off.)
Bert: -y. That�s all you�ve got?
(Jasper waves his wand and Bert�s pants fall down.)
Jasper: That�s what I�ve got.
(Bert looks around and notices his pants are down. He quickly turns red, and implodes.)
Announcer: That�s it for Jalvo the Slime�s Interview Show. See you next time!
Jasper: END TRANSMISSION!
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