The Mario/Wario Relations Bios

Welcome to this documentary. I am Trollish Beastfighter, whether or not you care. I have revealed some disturbing info about Mario's reputation with his brother and cousins. I request you go through this slowly so you understand the results of my research.

Name1: Mario Mario
Nicknames: Jumpman, Gonzales, Super Mario, “my hero”
Age: 30
Weight: 150 pounds, contrary to his medical records
IQ: When I tested him, it ranged from 90-100, unlike the record of 40
Favorite Food: Starman, unlike how the asylum said cheese

I am very disturbed to discover what a perfectly sensible man Mario is. Apparently, someone has ruined his records and has made him out to be an idiot. More research has been done with close relatives and the following has been discovered.

Name2: Luigi Mario
Nicknames: Player2, Second fiddle, Mr. Lean n’ green, “the other guy”, little brother
Age: 29 + 354 days upon research
Weight: 100 pounds, no contradictions
IQ: Results clearly seemed to be 110
Favorite Food: None specified clearly, interviewee replied uncertainly Fire Flower.

Although Luigi is not the gourmet Mario is, upon investigation, he seemed to clearly have a mutual bond with Mario. When asked what he would do if his brother were captured, he loudly proclaimed, “No way anyone messes with my brother!” He seems inactive compared to Mario, proof shows Mario's carrying capacity to be 60 pounds to Luigi’s 30 pounds. Mario's unusual records are still not explained by this. Luigi also has inexplicable asylum records of having an erratic bladder. No extreme signs of excess moisture were found during the hour-long interview. Research on their first cousins initiated.

Name3: Wario Mario
Nickname: fatty, evil twin, piggy bank
Age: 35
Weight: 300 pounds, somehow this matched Mario's medical records
IQ: I could conceive no records of any sort relating to Wario’s grades or measured IQ. When I used forcible means to extract answers to my examinations, the results were horrifyingly low. They matched Mario's result of around 40.
Favorite Food: Wario interestingly responded “CHEESEBURGERS!”

Before I jumped to any conclusions, I did detective work on Waluigi with the help of some Penguin mistaking Wario for Waluigi. After some physical treatment, his mistake was corrected.

Name4: Waluigi Mario
Nickname: scaredy cat, purple pencil
Age: 32
Weight: 70 pounds
IQ: The results were amazingly high at 170
Favorite Food: Nefari-O-s and Ultra Shrooms

With the help of the Penguin who identified himself as Pennington and Kamek Koopa, vast amounts of information regarding nefarious plans and Mario's records was uncovered. Waluigi, after detaining Mario from certain events, has been discovered to be the culprit to some serious crimes involved with defacing Mario and Luigi’s name. Wario has now been discovered as being admitted to several village idiot festivals. A “Word Manipulator” has also been reported stolen from a Koopa named Ludwig von Koopa. It can be seen clearly that Waluigi has used his brother in disguise as Mario and has modified his voice and eliminated word choices as to make Mario a fool. Waluigi has also dressed up as Luigi, and has been reported to take Detrol LA in medical records. It doesn’t apparently help with his numerous phobias ranging from arachnids to aquatics, pyrotechnics, chopsticks, etc. With this research, I demand that this scoundrel Waluigi be sentenced to prison and his brother to the asylum. My purpose is through.

Have a different opinion on the Koopas or want to introduce your own characters? Email me!
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