Kamek, Bowser's family doctor, has brought to my attention Morton muttering how he wants to commit suicide. He must have been really foolish for initially being chaotic in the first place and asking for my help, but he said no one else would dare to help Morton, and I like him a bit. I decided to do the unthinkable, and interview him since I believe everyone deserves help at first. Here is the resulting document.

Name: Morton Koopa Junior
Nicknames: Big Mouth, "SHADDAP!" (HA! Not really.)
Age: I don’t think it matters. He is a sixth child, and 12, I think
Hobbies: Talking obsessively about the thing he just learned about, baking WEDDING CAKE in particular, firebreathing
Favorite Game: Mario Party 6. He actually is good at “Verbal Assault”. However, Morton actually does have a really good attention span and is more focussed on any game and in my opinion, can easily outplay any of his siblings.
Favorite Food: Of course you knew cake. What you didn’t know is that he likes to put hot sauce on it too.
Favorite Koopaling: Besides himself, probably Ludwig, who occasionally gives credit to Morton for actually saying something smart, although he also shuns Morton the most
Favorite Minion: Podoboo. He can live in their stomachs and likes to. The heat not only makes him stronger, it influences his um... self esteem, I think.
Least Favorite Character: Morton actually doesn’t like anyone. No one understands that he actually has a mental variation called autism. Although he may think relatively logically, no one appreciates him since no one takes the time to teach him how to interact socially. He may start obsessing over his extensive knowledge about the history of the Mushroom Kingdom, and be totally unaware everyone is getting mad.
Wishes: He could be alone. Really, what he should wish for is a family counselor and psychologist to improve his relations with his family.

By comparing my alter ego a.k.a guardian angel’s condition of autism to Morton’s behavior, I realize why I also find him interesting. Morton, from my observations, is very good at writing grammatically correct, but horrible with fictional stories and infering themes. He doesn't understand social situations very well (such as non-verbal and non-written communication such as body language), which must be why his family despises him so. Other identifying traits signalling autism include his apparently photographic memory of events and the inability of my magical lie detector to go off. He speaks his mind without considering what may be offensive, and furthermore obsessing over the topic when it should end. I feel responsible for this poor misunderstood soul. Now let's see if I can get through his family's inherent chaotic streak and make the situation as a whole more understandable to them.

Have a different opinion on the Koopas or want to introduce your own characters? Email me!
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