Name: Mario
Favorite Food: Spaghetti and cheese
Favorite Activity: Saving loud-mouthed girls, killing turtles, and... uh.... jumping
Favorite Koopaling: Ludwig and Roy (they hurt their siblings more than Mario does, and that simplifies his job)

Mario Spaghettison was born in Brooklyn at the age of... uh... zero. One day when Mario was taking a bath he got flushed down the drain. Luigi gasped, and went down the drain after he heard Mario scream. They were flushed through a warp pipe into the Mushroom Kingdom, where the stork found him and tried to take him to a new family. He was intercepted by Kamek, fell toward the sea, and was found by a clan of Yoshis on Yoshi's Island. He and Luigi were brought to their new parents successfully. Then they spent a lot of time playing sports (their parents where athletic). He even met his adult self after a while! Mario and Luigi specifically focused on basketball, with their jumping skill. When Mario was 22, he worked as a carpenter and got a girlfriend. Then when Donkey Kong stole her and Mario rescued her, they broke up because Pauline only wanted Mario as a boyfriend because she knew Donkey Kong was going to kidnap her. Mario then went into the wrecking crew industry. He quicly learned to hate it and quit. One day Peach saw Mario sobbing because he couldn't find a job. Being princess, she got Mario into the plumbing career. Bowser was unemployed too, and got mad because Peach would not give him a job. Bowser kidnapped her and, once again, it was up to Mario to save a girl. Ever since, Mario has been running around the Mushroom Kingdom saving her behind while going through dangerous, turtle-infested landscapes. And every time she always rewards him. That's how it is is, I guess. I'm still quite sure his last name is Spaghettison.

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