***

Anti Guy: Welcome to Roy’s Sports Hall again! Today it looks like we’ve got a full house!

Larry: We do?

Anti Guy: Yeah, everyone’s dieing to see this match.

Roy: Well, I gotta admit, the fighters today look like they might not be absolute losers. Still, if I was in the ring they’d be dead in three seconds.

Anti Guy: Well, I'd better start this off or else the rabid fans will start to riot. In the Red Corner, we have the supposedly invincible Tubba Blubba! Guess this match’ll be the real test of how invincible he really is.

Tubba Blubba: … Zzz… Buh! Whu? It’s starting already?

Anti Guy: In the Green Corner we have the dangerous mad genius, Ludwig!

Ludwig: I have taken the necessary steps to ensure my victory tonight. My magnificent weapons will demolish my opposition! Woahohoho!

Anti Guy: Well you'd still better be careful though, because in the Yellow Corner we’ve got a guy who’s no pushover, it’s Wario!

Wario: Heh heh heh-heh! I can beat you all up with both hands and feet tied behind my back!

Anti Guy: Finally in the Blue Corner we have a dangerous newcomer as far as I’m aware, give it up for Jonathan Johnny Jones!

Johnny: Arrr har har har! I’ll be sendin’ ye dogs to my locker!

Anti Guy: Ok Larry, let’s hear it.

Larry: Ok, this one’s a toughie but I think I’m going with Tubba Blubba. Just can’t beat that sheer size and… well… invincibility, now can you?

Roy: I could beat that pansy with one punch. Well, start it off, Pokey.

Pokey: Fight.

DING DING-

Wario: Cheating Bob-omb!

BOOM!!!

-DING!

Tubba Blubba: GRAAERGH!

Anti Guy: Who saw this one coming?! Wario cheated by throwing a bomb right at Tubba before the fight even started!

Tubba: Blubba Slide!

Ludwig: Jetpack! Wohoho!

Tubba: Nooo!

SMASH!

Anti Guy: Now Tubba Blubba tried to crash into Ludwig but Ludwig used a jetpack to fly up in the air, making Tubba slide past and crash against the wall!

Johnny: Yar! Skewer!

Wario: Heh heh heh-heh! Is that all you got?!

Anti Guy: Impressive! Johnny lunged at Wario with his spear but Wario managed to stop it with his hands!

Johnny: W-what…!

Wario: Get outta here!

Johnny: OOF!

Anti Guy: Wario kicked Johnny back and onto the floor!

Wario: Wahaha! Wario Drop!

Johnny: Get Tough! Chokestab!

Wario: WAA-URKKK! GRRRAAAK!

Anti Guy: Wario jumped in the air and tried to come down on Johnny with his elbow, but Johnny used the butt of his trident to stab Wario in the stomach and send him back!

Wario: Grrr!

Ludwig: Elec-gun!

Ga-ZAP!

Johnny: BlagadiblagadiBLAGIDIAAAG!

Anti Guy: Ludwig fired on Johnny from behind while flying around, and electrocuted him!

Wario: Body Slam!

SMASH!

Johnny: OOOOFFF!

CRASH!

Anti Guy: Wario used this opportunity to hit Johnny and send him flying against a wall!

Ludwig: Charging…!

Tubba Blubba: Don’t forget about me! Blubba Slide!

Wario: OH NOOO!

WHAAAAP!

Wario: WAOWAOWAO!!!

Blubba: Haha!

Anti Guy: Tubba got up again and this time hit Wario squarely!

Ludwig: Charge 100 percent! Concentrated Elec Beam!!!

VWEEEOOOOO ZAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!

Tubba Blubba: BLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGADI-

Anti Guy: Ludwig’s attack is relentlessly electrocuting Tubba!

Tubba: -GIDIBLAGDIGGIBLAGADIBLAGADI-

Anti Guy: It’s not letting up!

Ludwig: Woahohoho! This is my true power! None of you can defeat me!

Johnny: ARRRRR! Now I be mad!!! Ye think I can only use physical attacks?! This’ll teach ya! Tidal Wave!!!

FWWUUUSSHHHH!!!

Ludwig: Noooo-BLAGIDIBLAGADIAAAAG!

Wario: WAHWAHWAH-BLAGIDIBLAGGG!

Tubba Blubba: -BLAGADIBLUUPPPPPP!!!

Anti Guy: Johnny summoned an immense magical tidal wave from the other side of the arena that buffeted the entire opposition and even electrocuted everyone due to Ludwig’s beam! Now the other three are down on the floor next to each other!

Tubba Blubba: RAAAHH! Fist Tornado!

WHAM BAP SMACK WHACK!!!

Ludwig: AYYERRAGH!

Wario: OUURUGHH!

Anti Guy: Tubba Blubba spun around in a flurry of strikes, hitting both Ludwig and Wario and sending them flying!

Tubba Blubba: Now you’re going down! Aerial Jackhammer!!!

Wario: NO!!!

SLAMM!!!

Anti Guy: What?! Tubba Blubba jumped up and came down with both fists on top of Wario, but Wario somehow managed to stop the blow! Now they seem to be locked in a stalemate?!

Wario: Hrrrrgghh…!

Tubba: Rrrrggghhh…!

Ludwig: This is the perfect opportunity for my attack!

Johnny: Not so fast, landlubber! First ya gotta answer to my trident! HYAH!

Ludwig: ARGH!!!

Anti Guy: Johnny chucked his spear and hit Ludwig cleanly!

Johnny: This isn’t over yet! Come on!

Anti Guy: Johnny is rushing Ludwig while he’s stunned!

Ludwig: Fireball!

Johnny: WOAH there!

Anti Guy: Ludwig breathed fire at Johnny, but he missed! Johnny’s almost on him!

Ludwig: Uh oh! Shell Spin!

BWAM!

Johnny: AGH!!

Anti Guy: Ludwig retreated to his shell and hit Johnny at the last second!

Johnny: I believe this is mine!

Anti Guy: Johnny recovered his trident!

Johnny: Skewer!

Ludwig: GAAH!

Johnny: Double Skewer!

Ludwig: NOO! Jetpack!

Johnny: Arrr! No you don’t! Skewer!

Anti Guy: Ludwig used his Jetpack to fly up, but Johnny managed to hit it with his trident at the last second! It looks like he damaged it! It seems to be on fire now!

Ludwig: Uh oh… It appears I must abandon this tool! Take this!

Johnny: What?

KA-BOOOOOMM!!!

Johnny: …

Pokey: Johnny, out.

Anti Guy: Meanwhile Wario and Tubba are still at it!

Wario: Grrrggghh!

Tubba Blubba: You’re… not… stronger than… me…! GRRAAAAAHHH!!!

Wario: Wuhh… WAOWAHH!

Tubba Blubba: Uppercut!

CRACK!!!

Wario: NNRRRRGHHH!!!

Anti Guy: Tubba beat Wario, sent him flying in the air and knocked him silly with a powerful uppercut to the chin! Looks like that’s the end for Wario.

Pokey: Wario-

Wario: Not… yet…! Looks like I’ll have to use my secret weapon! Heh heh heh-heh!

Anti Guy: What’s this?! Wario ate garlic and turned into…

Wario Man: WARIO MAN!!!

Tubba Blubba: Huh?!

Ludwig: Charging…

Wario Man: Wahahaha! Die!

WHAM! BAM! SMACK! BLAM!!!

Tubba Blubba: NNOOUURRRRGGHHH!!!

Anti Guy: Wario Man is beating Tubba senseless!

Ludwig: Charging…!

Wario Man: HYAAH!

Tubba Blubba: Hrrk! You can’t… beat me… I’m… invincible…!

Wario Man: Heh heh heh-heh! Time for you to taste my Ultimate Wario Man Toss! GRAAAAHH!!!

Tubba Blubba: WHU! HOW?!

Ludwig: CHARGING…!!!

Anti Guy: Incredible! Wario Man managed to pick up Tubba Blubba and is spinning around with him!

Wario Man: GET OUTTA HERE!!!

Tubba Blubba: NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo…!

Ding!

Anti Guy: No way, Wario Man tossed Tubba Blubba into the stratosphere!

Pokey: Tubba, out.

Wario Man: Heh heh heh-heh!!!

Ludwig: Charge 300 percent! CONCENTRATED ELEC-BEAM!!!

Wario Man: … What the?

BVVWWEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GA-ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP!!!

Wario Man: BLAAAAAAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAG-

Anti Guy: Oh wow, this isn’t good for Wario Man! He’s taking the full force of Ludwig’s attack!

Ludwig: This does not bode well! It seems I have overcharged it and now it is overheating!

Wario Man: -AAAAAAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDI-

Ludwig: It seems I have to abandon this tool as well! Take this!

KA-BOOOMM!!!

Wario Man: …

Anti Guy: Wario Man has been roasted to a crisp by the incredibly powerful attack!

Pokey: Wario, out. Ludwig, win.

Larry: Aw man, that Wario managed to pull an upset on Tubba. I was sure I’d be right.

Roy: Yeah, well, I’d shock you but there’s been enough shocking today.

Larry: Uhh… This isn’t necessarily good for me, is it?

Roy: Nope. ROY SPECIAL!

WHAM-BAM-CRACK!

Larry: END TRANSMISSIOOOOooooooooo…

Ding!

The winner:

The losers:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.