***

Spy Guy: Psst... Hey, uh, guys?

...

Spy Guy: Guuuuyyyysss!

...

Spy Guy: Ugh... hm? What's this?

PICK-UP ACTION!

Spy Guy: Dear Moronic and Ineffective Spy, due to complications that create non-eel-related Super Mario 64-based nightmares, it is to my horror that, until such a time where Mad Piano has been defeated, I can only assume that absolute darkness and sinister evil has taken over the world, and may create a zombie outbreak. I have saved myself from said outbreak, so feel safe as the zombies feast upon your bones that myself and Larry will be all right. Oh, right, Larry graciously volunteered to help me build a zombie shelter out of his personal belongings... with his head.

In any case, I'll be back within a month at the most. Die with honor and not stupidly.

Your ever-awesome master,
Roy

Pokey: Bad excuse.

Spy Guy: Agreed. Well, in any case, might as well get this over with.

Pokey: Seconded.

Spy Guy: In the Red Corner, we have one half of the reason that Super Mario 64 makes children cry, Mad Piano!

Mad Piano: TLANG! TLANG! TLANG!

Spy Guy: In the Green Corner, we have the mutated and downright ugly little piggy, Midbus!

Midbus: The fight shall be taken by me! It is only a matter of limited time before I assure my own victory!

Spy Guy: And in the Yellow Corner, we have the guy who probably took pictures of both of today's fighters to post them online and show how awesome he is, Francis!

Francis: H-hey! I'll have ya know that my fans at digibutter.nerr appreciate every picture I give them! It is nostalgic memorabilia that shall be preserved for eternity, and TotallyAHotBabe91 will talk to me!

Spy Guy: Riiiight, sure she will. And Bowser will marry Peach successfully. In any case... uhhh... who is the backup prediction guy?

Pokey: General Guy.

Spy Guy: ...would he happen to be here?

Pokey: No.

Spy Guy: Right then. Uhhhh...

???: A WINNER IS YOU!

Spy Guy: ... Again? Really, are you REALLY going to come here AGAIN?

Fawful: It is in the timing, foolish head of vegetation and body of worm! In this case, Fawful's toady is in deserving of Fawful's attendance, and it is with great laughter that I am predicting for your absent predictors with their predictions of much awfulness.

Spy Guy: ... Look, whatever gets the show on the road.

Fawful: INDEEDING! Fawful predicts that Midbus will have the squashing and the crushing of the piano who is most mad like Fawful after his conquest has been thwarted by MORONS! It is in the time of then that the chameleon of much stupidness shall strike, but then Midbus will prove to Fawful his worth in FURY! Midbus will then take the winning from the nerd of geekiness.

Francis: I prefer the terms "socially challenged" and "pop culture savvy".

Fawful: Does anyone have the caring? NOOOOOOO!

Francis: You don't have to be mean about it...

Spy Guy: Ugh... All right. Pokey?

Pokey: Fight!

DING! DING! DI--

Francis: CHEATING BOB-OMB! Vintage Wario Bros. Set!

BOOM!

Midbus: ARGH! That hurt!

Spy Guy: It appears tha-

Fawful: MIDBUS HAD THE STATE OF BEING PHASED, BUT SHALL NOW RETURN IN HIS STRENGTH OF FULLNESS!

Spy Guy: Arg... Loud much?

Fawful: It is remaining in the timing.

Midbus: I will deal with you later! Master Fawful desires the piano to be destroyed s-

TLANG! CLAAAANG!

Midbus: My head is NOT a chew toy!

Fawful: Midbus is having the WRESTLING over his head with the piano of much insanity!

Midbus: You will be getting off of my head IMMEDIATELY!

Slam!

Fawful: And Midbus has the slamming of the piano with GREAT fury and vengeance!

Spy Guy: You must remind me why I'm here, again.

Mad Piano: CLANG! TLANG! CLAAAANG!

Francis: Ahem... I suppose I should just attempt this... Montague from Rawky III, Hawk Eye.

CLANG! TANG! CLANG!

Fawful: This does not have the interest of me.

Spy Guy: Francis, ummm... appears to be PLAYING the Mad Piano somehow. It’s some sort of action theme that is remarkably catchy.

Francis: Nerr herr herr... AUTO-PLAY!

Clink!

Mad Piano: CLANG! Tang... clang... tlang...

Spy Guy: It appears that Francis has put some sort of device on the Mad Piano, preventing it from opening its top! And he's somehow making Mad Piano play itself.

Francis: Ah... sweet background music. You have to appreciate what the director did when capturing Rawk Hawk's fighting spirit, encapsulating it into what is basically a return to form after the Gonzales incident. The soundtrack's quality is just wonderful, wouldn't you a-

Midbus: Ranting is not allowed! Come and fight like a fighter!

Fawful: Midbus is NOT HAVING anything to do with rants of stupidity! Idiots of foolishness, they TREMBLE before him!

Francis: You're just a LAME TROLL who can't appreciate quality! In fact, stop listening to this! You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I will!

BLAM!

Pokey: Mad Piano, out.

Fawful: ...

Spy Guy: Erm... Francis just pulled out a Super Scope and blasted Mad Piano into pieces. That was... easy.

Midbus: Enough with the distractions; we will fight at this moment!

Francis: Ummmm... W-wait, you don't have to fight me, per se!

Midbus: So you are surrendering?

Francis: No, not necessarily... I mean those are some schweeet prizes given out, pretty rare, could definitely be kept as memorabilia. It's just that... well look, we're moderately level-headed guys, right? Can't we just play a children's card game instead?

Midbus: No, fighting is the honorable path.

Francis: No one plays this with me anymore! And I just got the nerrtastic new combo where you get to take the pieces of the instant-win and add them to your hand from the discard pile! It worked so well in the anime!

Fawful: I. Do. Not. Have. CARING! Midbus, be smashing him into pieces!

Midbus: You! You shall be crushed for dishonoring the master! STEEL BALL OF FURY!

Whum!

Francis: Zam!

Dodge!

Fawful: Moron of morons Francis has dodged Midbus's giant steel ball technique!

Francis: Nerr herr herr... Your pattern's pretty easy to figure out! I could go for a Perfect win here!

Midbus: There is no pattern! There is only technique!

Francis: Riiight, and me beating you with my eyes closed in your one game was a total fluke, right?

Midbus: Your insults are pathetic and weak! Feel the girth of the thunder flop!

Booing!

Fawful: Midbus has the springing into the air!

Spy Guy: ... Yeah folks, I'm not even going to bother anymore.

Francis: Hmmm... All right! According to the strategy guide, I counter with the shell defense, so...

Fawful: IDIOT CHAMELEON IS READING A GUIDE THAT GIVES HIM STRATEGIES! I am in the stitches! Fururururururu!

Francis: ... Alrighty then. Franny pack, spiked defense!

Shing!

Midbus: OUCH! Your machinery is both cheap and annoying!

Fawful: Chameleon of freakish behaviors unleashed a defense that was both metallic and spiked in property, and harmed Midbus like a blow below the belt. I HAVE ASKING FOR DISQUALIFICATION!

Pokey: No.

Fawful: I am cursing you!

Pokey: Kay.

Francis: Hmmm… Well, you're not getting anywhere. I guess we'll just go for THIS little gadget, then!

SHOOM! Sparkle Sparkle!

Midbus: W-what is this?

Fawful: I have confusion as to what is happening and why I am in the dimensions with only two sides!

Spy Guy: Well, from the looks of things, Francis evened the odds a bit by altering the Hall to be more similar to one of his animes.

Fawful: I still have confusion!

Midbus: W-where have you disappeared to!

Francis: There is nowhere to disappear, for your noble opponent emerges before you strongly! I raise my sword into your face for both intimidation purposes and to show my family's honor! I am Francis, Elite Nerr and digibutter.nerr no longer! Now... I am Gijutsulord!

Fawful: H-his lips are having movement, but his words are emerging at a time completely different. My confusion has skyrocketed!

Spy Guy: In addition, he has obtained the armor of a samurai from nowhere! This undertaking has startled me! And this translation is horrible!

Midbus: Haha! SO Gijutsulord, as you may call yourself now, you still have no chance at defeating the mighty Midbus, who shall crush you as your bones are squeezed out!

Gijutsulord: You are a most worthy adversary, but my nakama pushes my faith in myself through! There is nothing that you may do to stop me, as I shall REIGN VICTORIOUS!

Slice!

Midbus: I-I... impossible! None have... have ever been able to pierce the hide of mine!

Gijutsulord: It is your lack of faith in your nakama that has been your downfall! It is the fact that the force of good will always triumph over evil. It is THE WAY OF THE TRUE WARRIOR!

Fawful: I am having ANGER and FURY! So very, very large amounts of fury as the skin of Midbus has been pierced by a sword that seems to have been of samurai-like origins bearing the name of katana!

Shoooom...

Francis: So, how'd ya like THAT little show? You're on your last legs, piggy. So c'mon, let's stop this boring fighting and end it, all right?

Midbus: I... I refuse your offer! I go down... with pride!

SMASH!

Francis: ARRRG!

Fawful: Midbus FINALLY has the smashing of Francis's face in!

Francis: OUCH! Y-you hurt me! That's... that's just so wrong and cruel! I mean, I put on this AWESOME performance and people in the know will totally laugh at the anime spoof! I should TOTALLY be winning right now! You have destroyed my nerrtastic love! Game over, man, game over!

Slapslapslapslapslap!

Fawful: Fururururururu! Idiot of stupidity is attempting to down Midbus with slaps of much girliness! I have chortles!

Francis: SUPER SCOPE!

Midbus: Wh-

SHOOM!

Midbus: AURRRRRGH!

Fawful: THAT SHOT HAS CHEAP VARIETY TO IT! That is IT! Midbus! Prepare for the powering up!

Spy Guy: ... Isn't it cheating to give outside help?

Fawful: LIFE DOES NOT HAVE FAIRNESS AND I DO NOT HAVE CARING!

Zoooooooooooooooom!

Blizzard Midbus: Heh... hehehe... Oh NOW you are to die, chameleon!

Francis: WOAH there, SPOILER ALERT! I mean, c'mon, I haven't gotten that far yet! I mean, I got up to the train since I thought I might fight him, but I thought you would be sacrificed to the Sealed Evil In A Can! I mean C'MON, an outside power-up?! That's it? WOW, this game has disappointed me, I'm going on Gamefaqs and writing a review saying just how much Blizzard Midbus has angered me!

Blizzard Midbus: You have no time remaining! FREEZE!

Francis: NOOOOOO! I DISLIKE THE COLD GREATL-

Shing!

Fawful: Weak-bodied Francis has been solidified by the greatness of Midbus!

Blizzard Midbus: And now... SHATTER!

CHING!

Fawful: And he has the shattering of Francis! The properties of that must be painful! The chameleon has fallen to the ground pathetically!

Francis: Ugh... That is IT! SHUN GOKOU SATSU!!!

Blizzard Midbus: ... What?

Francis: Huh, nothing. Just normally saying that attack scares people. Wins me a lot of LARPing battles. Well, no reward is worth this! I give up! Real fighting is scary!

Run!

Fawful: ... I have facepalm.

Pokey: Francis, out. Midbus, winner.

Spy Guy: Well, Francis lives to cry in his mom's castle another day and Midbus wins as this gets hijacked. Oh, and there was a third fighter somewhere in there I think.

Fawful: Now you see the superiority of Midbus?

Spy Guy: I see that Roy is going to kill you when he comes back next week.

Fawful: ... I will have the running now!

Run!

Spy Guy: So ends another exciting episode. Cue Larry being beaten up!

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...

Francis: Hey guys, can I hide in here, too?

Roy: How did you find my secret Mad Piano shelter?

Francis: ... A wizard?

Roy: Weren't you supposed to be fighting?

Francis: Oh, I gave up.

Roy: ... Ya hear that, Larry? Bringing the electric chair wasn't a waste after all!

Larry: No, NO! You were supposed to win by genre savvyness, DON'T DO TH- Blagityblagityblagityblagityblagity- END TRANSMISSION!

The winner:

The losers:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.