Our saga begins with our heroes hijacking a train.

Toad: Get on!

Iggy: What?! The train! I get sick on trains!

Toad: GET THE (&*^ ON BEFORE I HAVETA &*(^)& SOME (*&^)!

Iggy: Ok!

Conductor: All aboard! Hey! What are you two doing?

Iggy: Uh, it's... my birthday....

Toad: &*^ man, get off our case!

Conductor: ...Ah, whatever. I'm sure whatever you're doing is legal.

The conductor gets on the train.

Toad: Cmon on guys, get on!

Iggy, Toad, and three other guys climb up to the top of the train.

Larry: Ug!

Daisy: Of!

Toadstool: Aw, crud. I tore my dress.

Iggy: Oh really?!

::Place slap here::

The train begins to move.

Larry: I have nothing to hold on to!

Toad: Well #$%#$%# you!

Larry falls off the back and smashes onto the tracks.

Toad: Well, I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere later in the plot.

Iggy: I don't know, there was a lot of blood.

They look back and see a bunch of soldiers beating Larry with nightsticks.

Iggy: ...Anywho...

Toad: You know, I'm sick of it here, under that ^&$%ing pizza-

Iggy: No wait, you say that in another train ride.

Toad: Oh yeah.

Toadstool: So, Iggy, why are you here? Fighting against the Smash troops?

Iggy: For the chicks and money. I here girls dig dangerous men.

Toad: So does everyone know what our plan is?

Iggy: ...No.

Toad: Does anyone know what our plan is.?

Iggy: ...No.

Toad: Uh, ok, our goal is to blow up the Makeover Reactor 1. That way we can shut down all the power to this city for awhile and, in that way, deal a powerful blow towards Smash. We will strap this time bomb Daisy made to the core and SHBLOOM! Understood? Now, whatever you do, when we get to the core, don't pass out and have flashbacks, ok? Under any circumstances, do not pass out and have a flashback!

Iggy raises his hand.

Toad: Yes?

Iggy: Besides the fact you finished more then one sentence without cussing, I'd like to know if we can pass out and have flashbacks?

Toad: For the last time, NO!

Iggy: B-

Toad: NO! #$^#$^#$% NO G-$#%#$%#$%it!

The train stops all of a sudden.

First Toadstool and Daisy jump off the train, nearly avoiding some Smash troops. However Toad and Iggy do end up fighting them

Smash Soldier 1: Look! There he is! Look! There he is!

Smash Soldier 2: Get'm!

Toad pulls out a gun and shoots Smash Soldier 1.

Smash Soldier 2: Uh... uh...

The other Smash soldier runs off into the darkness. Iggy and Toad run into a huge factory.

Toad: Here we are, ^&*%ing Jamaica!

Iggy: Ok.... umm...

Daisy: Here, I'll decipher the codes for this door.

Daisy bends over and does some work on the codes panel.

Iggy: Sweet, sweet can...

Iggy reaches over for some can.

Iggy: Oh thank g-

Daisy: Uh... I'm too lazy.

Daisy sits down by the door.

Daisy: You do it.

Toad: Why the $#^%#% do we have to?

Daisy: Basically, I am to lazy to find which button opens the door so I'll let you trained chimps of men at the controls.

Iggy: Okay!

Iggy pushes a button and the alarm goes off.

Meanwhile, in the security room...

BEEP! BEEP!
Security Guard 1: Yes! The coffee's done!

Security Guard 2: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Security Guard 1: Not... enough... energy... Zzzzzz...

Back with our heroes, sort of...

Iggy: Uh....

Toad: &^)^%(! Iggy!

Daisy: Men...

Daisy presses the button marked OPEN with a bunch of white arrows pointing around it from eight different directions. The door opens. Toad, Iggy, and Daisy hurl through it. Toadstool has to walk because of her dress. The door begins to close..

Toadstool: Ahhh!

The door closes on the back of her dress.

Toadstool: Oh no, I'm not walking from here!

Our three remaining heroes run through the next door.

Toad: See you in ten min.!

Well, then there are some jagged pipes and ladders and ropes down a long steep slant in the wall that lead to the Makeover Reactor.

Daisy: Betcha' a hundred Gil I can jump off and live.

Iggy: Yer' on!

Daisy jumps off and hits some jagged pipes and stuff and lands on a pipe. She moans in pain.

Iggy: Hey, look at that! She beat my loogie!

Daisy: I can't get my leg out! Go on without me!

Then the loogie hits her.

Toad: ^&), we're losing a lot of men...

Toad and Iggy climb a pipe and get up to a venting system. Toad pulls off the vent and they both climb in. They walk around the vent system and soon they get to the end. They push off the vent and Iggy jumps out. SPLASH!

Iggy: Ug!

Toad: What?

Iggy: I landed in a toilet!

Toad: &*^! How did we get in the bathroom?

They hear a door open and then a bunch of giggling.

Toad: A girl's bathroom, oh crud, get back in here!

Iggy: No! I gotta get me some sweet!

Toad: Like h#$%$#% you are!

Toad tries to pull him back into the vent but his foot is stuck.

Iggy: Come on chicks!

The door opens and some female Smash troops see them.

Female Smash Soldier: Hey girls! I found a dude, let's get some sweet!

Iggy: Ahhh! Dominant women!

Iggy flails frantically, pushing the flush lever until his foot comes out and he scrambles into the vents.

Iggy: Oh... whew....

Toad: Scary, ain't it?

Iggy: Yeah...

After Iggy catches his breath they continue through the vents until they reach an intersection. They take the other way and get to an end again. They push the
vent off and climb out. They land on a catwalk. Below them is a bunch of bubbling yellow liquid. They see an old hobo type fellow sitting on the edge stirring it
with a wooden spoon.

Hobo: Hey! Stay away from my cesspool!

Toad: Ahh! Crazy hobo!

Hobo: Ar!

Iggy and Toad run across the catwalk and open the door at the end. They stop off in front of a huge cylinder type container.

Toad: There's the core, let's move!

They slowly approach. Toad goes up to it and places the bomb on the reactor but it slides off.

Toad: #$%$#%, we forgot the duct tape!

Iggy then takes it, spits on the back of it, and places it back on. It sticks.

Toad: Aw #$%#$%, you jinxed it! We only have seven minutes to escape instead of an hour!

Iggy: Whoops.

Toad: We gotta get outta here!

Then Iggy faints.

Toad: Aw... darn it!

Iggy wakes up. He sees his hometown. He is walking in there with some hockey player- looking guy.

Guy: Well Iggy, this is your hometown, no?

Iggy: Yes, it is. What are we here for anyways?

A Yoshi comes running up. Then it gets hazy.

Iggy: Uhh... baby... ow!

Iggy blinks and when he opens his eyes Toad is over him.

Toad: Darn it! I said not to faint! Now we have three minutes!

Iggy: Hey look, there's a big robotic spider thing coming to save us!

Toad: I don't think that robotic spider is here to help us!

The robotic spider walks across the thin walkway. There is a megaphone on the top.

Megaphone: Step away from the core. Step away- whoops....

The spider's front left leg hits air on the edge of the walkway.

Megaphone: What you are about to see is gonna really bite.

The spider leans left.

Megaphone: Well, I'm dead... hmm... last words... I love you Emily!

The robotic spider tips over the edge.

Megaphone: Poop! Haha! Poop!

It falls off into the darkness.

Toad: Well, I guess that's over! I guess we can go home-

BLOOP

Toad: Huh? Uh oh.

Iggy: That's the hour number, right?

Toad: ...OH $%$##%#$%#$!

Iggy: Does this mean we get cake?

Toad: Idiot! We only have one minute now!

They race back across the cat walk, jump into the vent, crawl back to the jagged pipe area and fall through a hole that leads to a Starbucks, then find Daisy once they after they climb out of the hole.

Daisy: Help! My leg is stuck!

Toad: Just leave her! I'm sure she'll show up later in the plot.

Toad and Iggy run off.

They run through some more pipes until they reach an intersection.. Iggy begins to turn left.

Toad: Wait! We have to turn right here!

Iggy: Why? We came from the left!

Toad: This is the only way out! That was the only way in!

Iggy: What about Toadstool?

Toad: I'm sure she'll show up later in the plot.

Toad and Iggy run to the right. They end up on a catwalk. BOOOOOOOM!

Toad: There she blows! &(^)! We aren't far enough!

The rumbling breaks the catwalk in half.

Iggy: Whoah!

Iggy and Toad jump off onto the other half as the back half smashes back into the wall. Then the half they were on smashes into the wall. When it hits they begin to climb up it.

Toad: Hurry! &()^!

They get to the top and open the door. They run in just as the flames spew out of the other end of the room they were just in. SPEWWWWCHH! The flames just barely make it in the catwalk room and go off. The screen fades out...

The screen fades back in a street outside.

BSUU! A small explosion comes from a brick wall and Iggy and Toad jump out from it.

Iggy: Ahh! I'm on fire!

Toad and Iggy roll on the ground until it goes out.

Toad: Geez, the brick wall is still on fire.

Iggy began panting from exhaustion.

Toad: We have to make it back to the train before it leaves. Make sure you get there in time. We got a ton of Smash troops on our tail so let's split up so we're alone and defenseless.

Iggy: Okay!

Daisy and Toadstool run out the big entrance Iggy and Toad makes with the explosives.

Toadstool: Darn it! Why did you guy's leave me?

Toad: See, I told you! It never fails!

Toad runs off.

Toadstool: Hey! Come back here!

Toadstool runs after him.

Daisy: Ahhh! I'm on fire!

Daisy runs around in a circle and then falls to the ground and rolls. It goes out.

Daisy: Ahh... Hey! You left me down there!

Iggy: Exit!

Iggy runs off into the streets. Soon he smashes into some Yoshi.

Yoshi: Ow!

Iggy: Of! Hey! I'm walking here!

Yoshi: Hey! You ran into me!

Iggy: Whatever, so, wahtsur' name?

Cammi: Cammi. I'm selling hot pants, want some hot pants?

Iggy: Uh... ok. How much?

Cammi: I'll give you one for free. Here!

Cammi hands Iggy some pink hot pants.

Iggy: Cool! Can I have another free one?

Cammi: ...You're really draining the romance, you know.

Iggy: Uh... I didn't know there was supposed to be any romance. Gotta split!

Iggy runs off into the darkness of the alleys.

Cammi: Well same to you!

Iggy walks down the dark ally. A Smash soldier fires his gun and shoots Iggy's leg.

Smash Soldier 1: Halt...

Smash Soldier 2: Some people just don't know how to listen.

Iggy keeps running, or more like hopping on one foot, and more Smash troops come from that angle, and more from another. Iggy hops back until he reaches an end. He looks back and see's that under him is a tunnel and there are some train tracks leading behind him. BeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEPchugalachugalugacHuGaLUgACHUGaLUGA CHUgALUGACHUGALUGA-

Smash Soldier 1: Stop or I'll shoot!

Smash Soldier 2: The negotiations have failed! Shoot him!

Iggy jumps over the edge and lands on top of the train.

Back on the train...

Larry: Yeah! I had to wait for another train to come and then that guy at the newsstand saw me and said, "HEY! YOU'RE THAT GUY!" Then the train came and I ran in-

~CLUNK~

???: Ohhh...

Larry: -and... and... um, I ran in and the conductor didn't see me so-

???: Oh... oh, ah!

~CLUNK!~ ~SMACK!~

Toad: What the &^)% was that?

Larry: Anywho, I got back here in storage and hid.

???: Oh...

Daisy: What is that?

???: Geez! Where can a guy get some can around here?

Toadstool: Iggy!

Toad: He must be on top!

~CLUNK!~ ~SMACK!~ A bulge appears on the roof of the train.

Iggy: Oww, my toof.

The side door of the train opens as Iggy tries to swing inside the train car, but his foot snags on the railing and he's hung from his sock.

Iggy: Help!

Then the door closes on his bad leg.

Iggy: Aw, #$%#$5 it!

The train then nears a tunnel.

Iggy: I'm in trouble.

Then the door opens, Iggy falls threw, and his pants get all ripped up when they snag on the railing. He smashes into a chair.

Daisy: Nice entrance, bonehead.

Iggy gets back up embarrassed, then he sits down.

Iggy: Thank goodness I got some free hot pants!

Iggy goes back, changes his pants, and comes out in some short, pink, hot pants.

Daisy: ...Ok, I'm not even touching that with a stick.

Toad: I hate this $#^%#$#$%#$% pizza!

Iggy: Why's that?

Toad: Don't you know, foo?

Iggy: I need a recap.

Toad: Well there is this thing called Makeover Energy. It's used to power everything in this world, but because it is so overused it is killing the planet. It will die if we don't stop them from gaining it!

Iggy: I don't care! I'm an antinuclear! Down with politics too! Who gives a $#%#$% about future generations? I want some sun now!

Iggy takes a can of spray paint and sprays it in the air.

Iggy: Yeah, that's right!

Toad: Foo! The planet's dying! If it dies there won't be any more chicks!

Iggy: ~Gasp~

Toad pops on some headphones and listens to his CDs.

Iggy: Hey, wait!

Iggy taps Toad's shoulder.

Toad: Foo! Don't busta Dogg when he's chillin' to his tunes!

Iggy: Whoah! Sorry!

Toad: Jabberoni...

Iggy, Daisy, and Toadstool walk through some passenger cars and find a seat in the middle. Daisy walks over to a panel.

Daisy: Hey Iggy, come over here and let me show you something.

Iggy makes a silent wish. He walks over to the panel and Daisy boots up a program.

Daisy: This is a scale model of the what we call the dish, it's about 1/9000034th. You see, there are eight Makeover Reactors along the edges. They are used to power the city. The cities used to have names but we call them sectors because we feel like it and helps this post-Holocaust-like plot. This city, Zildjar-

Iggy: Like the cymbals-

Daisy: -is covered on the top by a big dish type thing we call a pizza. It is divided into eight sections and a pillar in each section holds up the top of each section.

Iggy: Ooooo, buttons!

Iggy starts pressing random buttons and deletes the program.

Daisy: Hey $#%#$%# it! It took me three months to make that!

Iggy: Whoops.

Daisy: Anyways, the sections under the pizza are called slims..

Iggy: I love that ga-

Daisy: No, slims!

Iggy: Yeah, I l-

Daisy: It's not the Sims #$#$%$#% it! People live in the slims, and that area is like h^%*(%^ because of the pizza.

Iggy: Yeah what ever. Hey, I was wondering how we are avoiding getting caught on a Smash train.

Daisy: I made these fake IDs for us all. It should be about time they check our Ids through the scanner.

Iggy: What's my fake name?

Daisy: @$$Master28.

Iggy: Ooooo, buttons!

Iggy starts to play with the buttons again as the red light comes through.

Com: Dangerous character spotted! Fake IDs scanned... waiting... waiting... these IDs are fake. Proceed with lockdown!

Daisy: Aw, $#%#%, we gotta get outta here!

Iggy: I think I found Waldo!

Waldo: Why, hello!

Iggy: Ooooo, buttons!

Iggy presses another button.

???: Waah!

Daisy: Hey! That came from behind us!

???: Darn! He got a Smash soldier down! Forget the lockdown!

???: RAH!

???: Oh, no! Who let him out?

~CLUNK!~ ~CLUNK!~

???: Darn! This section's break...

The voices fade away.

Daisy: Wow, that was convenient.

Iggy: Wasn't Toad back there?

Daisy: I'm sure he'll show up later in the plot.

Toadstool: Well, we're almost there.

Iggy: Where?

Toadstool: The Sector 7 Slims.

Guy on Train: Hey! You three! Aren't you from the ERUPTION team?

Daisy: Shut your dirty mouth!

Iggy: ERUPTION?

Toadstool: Don't you know anything? That's what we call ourselves!

Iggy: How about the Super Squad?

Everyone: No!

Iggy: Well anyways, how far till we reach the Sector 7 Slims?

Daisy: About three and a half hours...

Iggy: Oh in that case....

Two hours later...

Iggy: Two thousand nine hundred and fifty seven bottles of beer on the wall, two thousand nine hundred and fifty seven bottles of beer on the wall, you take one down, pass it around... two thousand nine hundred and fifty six bottles of beer on the wall!

Daisy: I can't take it any more!

Daisy starts choking Iggy.

Daisy: Shut up! Shut up! For #^#$# sakes shut the $#%#$% up!

One and a half hours later...

Iggy: Zzzzzz...

Daisy: Zzzzzz...

Toadstool: Zzzzzz...

Bzzz! ChugalugaCHUGALUHA! HONK! HONK!

Daisy: Ah!

Toadstool: What?

Iggy: Zzzz...

Daisy: &*^()! We missed it!

Toadstool: Aw... son... of... Zzzz...

Daisy: Zzzz...

Three and a half more hours later...

Iggy: Zzz...

Daisy: Zzz...

Toadstool: Zzzz...

Bzzz! Chug-

Daisy: Huh? Oh no you don't!

Daisy jumps up and pushes the door open. She picks up Iggy and Toadstool and throws them out.

Iggy: Ow!

Toadstool: My dress! I ripped it!

Iggy: Oh, really?!

Our heroes get up and get everything together.

Toadstool: Does anyone remember what happened to Larry?

Daisy: Whoops, I haven't seen him in awhile. Oh well, he'll show up somewhere later in the plot.

They look behind them and see Toad on a bench.

Toad: YOU &*^()HEADS!

Iggy: Hey Toad!

Toad: I had to wait and get another ride you 9&)^luggers!

Daisy: Yeah, well, do you know what happened to Larry?

Toad: Larry? Uh... I don't know... he was talking but then everyone (writers) forgot about him for awhile. But he'll-

Toadstool: Yeah, yeah, we know..

Toad: Ok you idiots! Split up and group up back at the base! And that's an order!

Iggy: But I don't know whe-

Toad: I said now!

Iggy: Bu-

Toad backhands Iggy and they all run off in random directions. Iggy follows his instincts and finally finds the others outside a bar.

Iggy: Wow, the base is a bar? As if that isn't the first place Smash troops would look for you tree-hugging hippies.

Toad: What?!

Anyways, they go inside after Toad taught Iggy some respect with the aid of an old outhouse and duct tape. Iggy walks in and the rest of our heroes grab a seat at the bar. Then a Yoshi walks in.

Yoshiki: Hey Iggy! Uh, nice pants...

Iggy: Hey Yoshiki!

Dinogirl: Oops, I messed me knickers.

Toad: Dinogirl! I thought you were in bed!

Dinogirl: Dinogirl wet her knickers.

Yoshiki: Dinogirl! I thought I sent you to bed!

Toad: I'll put her to sleep.

Yoshiki: Don't say it like that!

Toad: Makes you think, doesn't it?

Toad takes Dinogirl upstairs.

Yoshiki: Oh, I hope my daughter will be ok.

Daisy: Toad definitely doesn't treat his daughter right.

Iggy: Ooo, pinball!

Iggy starts to break the pinball machine.

Yoshiki: So, how'd the mission go?

Daisy: Pretty well besides the near death experience and many screw-ups.

Daisy: Iggy, will you be helping us on the next mission?

Iggy: I dunno..

Yoshiki: So, when will you start the next mission?

Daisy: Wel-

Daisy is cut off as Toad enters the room all wet.

Daisy: Wha-

Toad: Don't ask!

Iggy: Hey, I want my money! Where's the chicks?

Toad: #$%$#%#!#@$ it, here, take it! I hope you choke when you try to swallow it! I know you will.

Toad throws some Gil at Iggy's forehead and it bounces off his thick skull and lands in his beer.

Iggy: Only 3,000? If you want me to help you this time you'd better make it 5,000!

Yoshiki: You mean you'll help? Yippie!

Iggy: No!
Yoshiki: Yip... Oh...

Toad: $%$#^%#$^#$^%$#$#$! I need that $#^%#$^%$#%$#ing money for Dinogirl's schoolin'! She's as dumb as a brick foo!

Yoshiki: But we're really in need of some help!

Toad: Hey, wait, I got an idea.

Toad leaves the room and comes back with Dinogirl. He throws her at Iggy.

Toad: Touchdown!

Iggy: Woohoo!

Iggy spikes Dinogirl.

Dinogirl: Oww! DinoGirl go boom.

Yoshiki: Toad!

Toad: Geez, quit nagging me.

Toad picks up Dinogirl and takes her back upstairs.

Yoshiki: So, Iggy...

Iggy: Yeah?

Iggy presses a red button on the side of the pinball machine.

Yoshiki: Do you remember when we were kids?

Iggy: Yeah, we- Hey! Help!

The square of ground under the pinball machine and Iggy begins to descend.

Iggy: Ahhh!

Iggy closes his eyes. When he opens them Yoshiki is above him. He is in a basement. It has a TV, a computer, a table, a punching bag, and a bunch of other cool stuff.

Yoshiki: Hey! You beat my loogie!

Then the loogie hits Iggy.

Yoshiki: I think we all need to get some rest.

Iggy: What for? I am too jacked up on caffeine to sleep.

Then Toad and the others jump down the hole too. Iggy runs out of the way just in the nick of time though. Daisy goes over to a computer. Larry, who somehow was
already there, is sitting at a table. Toad goes over to a punching bag and tapes a picture of Iggy's face to it. Then he starts kissing it until he noticices the others are down there.

Toad: You didn't see nutin'!

Then Toadstool jumps down.

Toadstool: Ah! I ripped my dress!

Iggy: Oh really?!

Then something from above falls down and cracks on the floor.

Daisy: What was that?

The pinball machine begins to ascend.

Larry: What's that smell?

Yoshiki: It's sleeping gas, I need my beauty rest!

The pinball machine stops at the top.

Toad: I sure wish I had put in a button that could make the pinball machine descend from here but, nooOoOo! Too much mone... Ah... (*....()*... Zzzzz...

Everybody falls asleep.

Later...

Iggy wakes up in a puddle of yellow liquid.

Iggy: Oh, geez! Not an in-joke!

Iggy scrambles up from his nap.

Toad: Aw, geez, what'd you do!

Iggy: Errr... it wasn't me! It was Dinogirl!

Larry, Toadstool, and Daisy wake up.

Larry: What's that smell?

Toadstool: Hey! Look what's on the news!

They all look at the TV.

Newscaster: Today a group known as ERUPTION attacked Makeover Reactor 1. There was a huge power outage that lasted six hours in the Sector 1 Slims. Smash troops are
on the lookout for this notorious team. I would- Hey! This just came in! I'm fired... Yeah, well (*)^& you, I bet I could (*^&) *()-BEEEEEEEE-

The screen changes to a screen with all those vertical colored lines on it.

Daisy: Whoa! I guess I put a little too much nitro in my bomb, that explosion was way too big.

Iggy: I put a little extra in while you were sleeping...

Daisy: ....

Iggy: Not... that I woke up... at night... to ... do... stuff while you were sleeping or anything...

Daisy: ....

Iggy: I just wanted a glass of water, yes, a glass of water, all I did was the nitro thing... You didn't see anything!

Toad: Anyways, on less gross subjects, we are gonna hit the Makeover Reactor 3 today, but first I say we go loot the town!

Iggy: I'm not going.

Yoshiki: But you just said you would!

Toad: Yeah, you're totally forgetting everything!

Iggy: Yeah, well forget it!

Yoshiki: But remember that promise you made when we were kids? That you would come save me?

Iggy: No. Besides, I can't remember what happened ten minutes ago.

Iggy has a flashback of his childhood. He is on an old playground, a younger Iggy is sitting on top of a jungle gym. A younger Yoshiki climbs up and sits down next to him.

Yoshiki: Iggy... when are you leaving?

Iggy: Tomorrow...

Yoshiki: Will I see you again? I mean... well...

Iggy: Hello! I'm going to join the Koopa Troopa to get the heck away from you!

Yoshiki: Yeah but... Why do you want to join them besides that?

Iggy: Chicks and money! I hear chicks dig men who dress in dorky blue uniforms!

Yoshiki: That's the reason you do everything.

Iggy: And?

Yoshiki: Errr... Whatever... Promise me something.

Iggy: This better not involve a student loan.

Yoshiki: Look, just come and save me when I need it?

Iggy: What?

Yoshiki: I've always thought of you as my hero. Like, just come to save the day whenever I need your help.

Iggy: What did you say? Sorry, I was thinking of your insurance policy.

Yoshiki: Iggy!

Iggy: Geez, I could buy myself a dish with that kind of dough!

Iggy's flashback ends and he gets back to reality.

Iggy: Fine! But only if you'll give me 2,000 Gil!

Toad: No! We need that for Dinogirl!

Yoshiki whispers to Toad.

Yoshiki: (Just give him the 2,000 Gil and pickpocket him sometime! Maybe you can get that 3,000 Gil back too!)

Toad: (Ok.)

Toad runs upstairs. Then he runs back down and throws Iggy a bag of Gil.

Toad: Ok, now let's loot the town!

Toad takes out some pantyhose and gives everyone a leg. They put it over their heads.

Toad: Let's move out!

Yoshiki: Wait! I'm coming too!

Toad: Yoshiki...

Yoshiki: I'm strong! I can do some damage.

Toad: No!

Iggy: C'mon, let her come.

Iggy whispers to Toad.

Iggy: (Then we can have three women with us!)

Toad: (Whoa, yeah!)

Toad: Ok, you can come.

Yoshiki: Yay!

DinoGirl: Dinogirl feels sick... Dinogirl hot.

Yoshiki: She'll be ok..

Our gang leaves the bar to do some looting. Iggy walks into a Materia shop.

Iggy: What the heck is Materia?

Shopkeeper: Well, it's-

Iggy: Anyways, I can tell it's to complicated for me so-

Shopkeeper No, actually a child co-

Iggy: See what I mean!

Shopkeeper: Errr... then why'd you come in here?

Iggy: For the pleasant conversation!

Shopkeeper: FINE!

Iggy: Jerk!

The shopkeeper hits Iggy with a croissant and he runs out.

Later...

Iggy talks to a random villager.

Stranger: Yeah! The back entrance is right there!

The stranger points to a door in the back of the Materia shop.

Iggy: Thanks!

Iggy goes behind the shop and enters the back entrance.

Toad: Hey! This is my place!

Toad is tearing open storage boxes with a letter opener and stealing shiny gems out of them.

Iggy: Uh, shouldn't we get to the Makeover Reactor 3?

Toad: Fine...

Toad loads the gems into his pants.

16-Year-Old Boy: Hey! You! Ahh!

The 16-year-old keeps cracking his voice.

16-Year-Old Boy: Oy, my asthma!

Toad and Iggy run out and meet the rest of the gang outside.

Toad: Ok, did we get some good looting?

Daisy: I stole a watch.

Toadstool: I stole a watch.

Larry: I kidnapped this baby.

Baby: Wahhh!

Yoshiki: I got a watch.

Toad: Ok, good, put the baby down and let's go to the train station!

They split up again, running in random directions. Iggy runs to the train station, and after getting on he notices the others had somehow already gotten on.

Dinogirl: DG the Kidd wants to come too!@

Toad: Dinogirl, go home! Go puke on the pinball machine again or something.

DinoGirl: DG the Kidd wants to come! Me want to come now!

Iggy: Are you sure you want to fight dangerous monsters and robots and such in an enemy Smash Reactor while carrying a dangerous explosive?

Then Iggy realizes something.

Iggy: Why the heck am I doing this?!

Dinogirl: DG the Kidd wants a new diaper!

Toad: Aw, jeesh!

The train door closes with Dinogirl on the other side.

Toad: I-

Practically Everyone: We know!

Meanwhile at the main train station...

Smash Soldier 1: We won't let them get away again. Our new shareware ID scans will see if any ERUPTION members are on the trains!

Computer: Waaaaahhh! Register me!

Smash Soldier 2: Shut up!

Back at the train...

Intercom: Scanning fake IDs... waiting... waiting... waiting... waiting... Fake IDs found! Commence lockdown!

Toad: Aw, crud! Not again!

Intercom: That will be 600 Gil.

Smash Soldier 1: Darned AOL ID scanning shareware!

Intercom: *Scrambled Noises* That will be 6,000 Gil.

Smash Soldier 2: I told you we shouldn't have gotten a Mac computer! Version 1.2, blech!

Smash Soldier 1: Version 1.2?!

Smash Soldier 2: Yeah, I know.

Smash Soldier 1: Can I even play Solitaire on it?

Smash Soldier 1 gets on the computer.

Smash Soldier 1: ...You're so slow! Geez! Look!

LOADING COLOR PIXELS

Smash Soldier 1: Arg!

It loads a Solitaire screen. Then an error message pops up.

NOT ENOUGH SPACE, REBOOT MODEM AND DELETE FILES UNTIL THERE IS SUFFICIENT SPACE

Smash Soldier 1: Blah! You!

Smash Soldier 1 pulls out his gun and shoots the screen until he is out of ammo.

Smash Soldier 1: So, what were we talking about?

Smash Soldier 2: I don't know, I think Gil.

Back with our heroes...

Toad: Hurry! They're right behind us!

Daisy: Ahhh!

Larry: Are we there yet?

Toad: Here we are!

Our heroes stop at the back of the train. Toad pulls in a huge door-looking panel and sets it aside.

Iggy: Hey! That's the emergency exit!

Toad: Ok, everybody jump out!

Iggy: Wait!

Iggy grabs an old man's cane.

Old man: Hey! Sonny... Aw.... Zzzz...

Iggy goes to the exit and sticks the cane out. It nears the train wheel.

Iggy: This is gonna be cool!

BASHCK!

Toad: Whoah!

Iggy gets sucked out and a load of sparks fly by the entrance.

Intercom: BEEP! BEEP! TURBULANCE! That will be 1,000 Gil. *Scrambled noises* That will be 10,000 Gil.

Toad is pushed out first before he can say his now-annoying catchphrase followed by the others. Anyways, they find Iggy near a pile of debris.

Iggy: Hey I broke the train wheel! It'll be out of control for another eight hours! Ha!

Yoshiki: Hey... where are the others?

Toad: I guess they stayed on the train... Oh great! And Iggy screwed up the wheel too! Fantastic, you probably killed them!

Iggy: Nah, I'm sure they'll show up later in the plot.

Toad: Ok, everyone follow me. We can't go ahead because it's probably guarded by Smash troops.

Iggy goes over to the right side of the tracks.

Iggy: Here!

Iggy pulls off a panel on the wall. It has a small passage leading down, sort of like a laundry chute.

Toad: Where does it go?

Yoshiki: Who knows, we never expected to have to do it this way.

Toad: You sure it's smart to jump in there?

Iggy: Only one way to find out! Ladiess first!

Iggy tosses Yoshiki in.

Yoshiki: Ahhhhhhh! Of! Ohh....

Iggy: Sounds good to me! Geronimo! Ahhh! Of!

Yoshiki: Ow!

Toad climbs in too.

Toad: &*(^*&%^&*%*(%! Of!

Yoshiki: Oh, Ah!

Iggy: Ouch!

Our heroes our piled on top of each other. After they get each other together they see that they are in a small room.

Toad: Hey! A venting system!

Iggy: Oh! Fun!

Toad: Remember, when we get there do not pass out and have flashbacks. You got that!

Iggy: Yeah! Ok!

Toad: No, really!

Iggy: I know!

Toad: Really! If you pass out I'll slap you silly and you won't know it!

Iggy: Whatever.

They crawl through for a while. After a long while they come to the grated end. Toad kicks it out of place and they jump out. All they see is a ruined reactor.

Toad: Aw, #^#$! This is the one we already blew up!

Iggy: And because I screwed up the train we'll have to walk...

Yoshiki: @#$%!

After about an hour of walking down the track they enter an identical passage into the actual reactor. They kicked the grate through and entered. They walked across the catwalk to see something disappointing.

Toad: What?! This is Makeover Reactor 2! This isn't the one either!

Iggy: Who cares, let's screw it up!

Yoshiki pulls a CD out of her pocket.

Toad: The weapon of destruction.

Iggy: An AOL 5.0 free trial disc? Ok! Plug her...

Iggy faints.

Toad: Aw crud! IGGY!

When Iggy wakes up he sees Yoshiki over some dead Yoshi.

Yoshiki: I'll Get you!

Iggy: Hey.... baby, come over here and Papa will make it feel all-better. Uh... Baby....

Yoshiki: SEPHIROTH!

Iggy wakes up.

Toad: ()^ it Iggy, I told you not to faint and have a flashback but nooOoOoo, you had to pass out and have a flashback! Geez! Man, ok, plug her in.

Yoshiki: Ok! Here, you do it!

Toad puts on some radiation gloves and pops it in the reactor computer panel slot.
<embed Src= http://Sandslash333.tripod.com/Hurry.mid>
Yoshiki: Great, we have 30 minutes to get out of here.

Five minutes later...

There is total anarchy! Everything is on fire and the computers won't work! The facility is falling apart and such.

Smash Soldier 1: We're all gonna die!

Smash Soldier 2: Wait, I'll call Tech. Support!

After some dialing...

Machine: Welcome to Tech. Support, please allow seven to eight weeks for assistance or you can use our non-helpful auto-teller systems.

Smash Soldier 1: Aw $%#%^@%!

Machine: If you would like to give us your credit card number, push 1.

Of course before they got their help the reactor had blown up.

Ten minutes ago...

Iggy: Let's go!

The gang goes down the catwalk and then they get to the end. BSHUUUU... A helicopter comes down and lands on the catwalk. The door opens and some one comes out.

Smash: Geez, who the heck would put an AOL trial disc in a Makeover Reactor core computer?

Toad: Smash!

Smash: Ah... ERUPTION, of course... I would have expected some one like you to do something stupid like this.

Yoshiki: Smash!

Iggy: So that's Smash...

Smash: Arrogant fools, do you have any idea what you have done?

Iggy raises his hand.

Smash: I was being dramatic!

Iggy slowly puts his hand down.

Toad: Hey that reminds me, I need a drink of water!

Smash: Fools, you shall die now!

Suddenly a large robot wheels in from the other side of the catwalk. Then it smashes into the helicopter and it catches on fire.

Smash: Aw, $#^# it!

Then another helicopter flies down with a giant magnet to haul off the mess.

Pilot: Whoops.

The pilot loses control and crashes into the mess. With the added weight the catwalk begins to break.

Iggy: Aw, %^#$%#it!

Then the bomb explodes

Smash: Whoops time to go.

Yet another helicopter comes and picks Smash up before the catwalk breaks in two.

Yoshiki: That's a small explosion.

Toad: It was AOL.

Yoshiki and Toad run across the catwalk.

Yoshiki: Hurry!

Iggy: What? Oh crud!

Iggy begins running.

Yoshiki and Toad jump across the gap between the catwalks and Iggy jumps too a few seconds later. Yoshiki and Toad make it but Iggy doesn't. He grabs onto the end of the catwalk just in time.

Iggy: Oh mama... Oh...

Iggy looks down to see blackness.

Yoshiki: Iggy!

Yoshiki grabs Iggy's hand. Iggy lets go of the catwalk.

Iggy: Don't let go!

Yoshiki's brush begins to fall out of her pocket.

Yoshiki: Hey! I need that!

She lets go and grabs her brush before it slips out.

Iggy: Nooo! You don't even have hair!

Iggy screams this as he watches Yoshiki and Toad's faces become smaller and smaller.

Toad: Iggy! *)_&! Ah, I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere later in the plot.

Then everything turns black.

<embed Src= http://Sandslash333.tripod.com/Nibel.mid>

???: Are you Ok?

???: Was I created like this? Me and the others?

???: I think you skinned your leg.

???: They always did say they could see it in my smell.

???: You promised me...

???: Hey! You're wearing my pants!

Iggy wakes up to see the Yoshi he saw earlier.

Cammi: Hey, you killed my flowers, you arrogant $#^!@!%@#%^ egotistical ^#$^#%#$^@ @$^ @!%~@$ $^@@#% jerk!

Iggy: You forgot overbearing.

Iggy stands up. He notices he's in a church. In the corner is a small pool of water.

Iggy: A toilet! I really gotta go!

Cammi: No you fool! That's holy water!

30 seconds later...

Cammi: I can't believe what you did!

Iggy: Hey, what are you doing here?

Cammi: Well, I like to come here. It feels like the only safe place in the Slims.

Iggy: Ooo, wanna watch me dance?

Cammi: What?!

Iggy dances on what flowers survived.

Iggy: Hahaha!

Cammi: Why did you just do that! This is the only place I can manufacture flowers into hot pants!

Iggy: ...

Cammi: What?

Iggy: Er, how do you do something like that?

Cammi: You don't wanna know. Anyway this is the only place I can grow flowers for some reason and you killed them!

Iggy: Darn straight!

Suddenly some Smash troops smash through the door.

Smash Soldier 1: Hey! You! We've been looking for you!

Smash Soldier 2: Yeah! You're that Cammi girl!

Smash Soldier 3: Nick of the Jurks been looking for you!

Smash Soldier 1: Here he comes!

Smash Soldier 2: There he is! Nick of the Jurks!

Smash Soldier 3: Dead man walking.

Smash Soldier 2: Shut up you fool!

A small Goomba enters the room.

Nick: Cammi, we meet again.

Cammi: Iggy! Protect me! He's Nick of the Jurks!

Iggy: No way!

Cammi: He's trying to kidnap me!

Iggy: Why?

Cammi: Nevermind that! C'mon, I gave you free hot pants!

Iggy: Their hot pink! I look like a fruit!

Smash Solder 1: He does.

Smash Soldier 2: You do.

Smash Soldier 3: Yeah.

Iggy: Ok, but it will be 6,000 Gil!

Cammi: What?!

Iggy: I am her bodyguard!

Nick: Ah, I see she has a bodyguard.

Cammi and Iggy began backing out until they run into the back room.

Nick: Get em guys, and don't step on the flowers.

Nick walks over the flowers, drops onto them, and rolls around. Then he pulls out a lighter and tries to set them on fire. It fails and he runs out.

Smash Soldier 1: But you!

Smash Soldier 2: Nick, you just did!

Smash Soldier 3: You just tried to light one on fire.

Meanwhile Iggy and Cammi run into a room with a bunch of broken stairs leading up about three stories. They run up them quickly. Then Iggy trips and falls down about 50 steps before grabbing the railing.

Iggy: Aw, I think I have brain damage.

Cammi: Aw, I sprained my ankle! Carry me!

Iggy walks back up slowly, picks her up, and walks up them.

Iggy: I'm bleeding! We need to slow down!

Cammi: Faster, bodyguard!

Iggy jumps past some gaps and see the soldiers coming from below.

Cammi: Eeek!

Cammi jumps out of Iggy's arms and runs up the stairs faster.

Iggy: What? I thought you sa-

Cammi: Forget that! Hurry!

Iggy runs up but the stairs begin to collapse with both of their weight. Iggy jumps over but Cammi just stands there.

Iggy: Come on!

Cammi: No, I may break a nail!

Then the stairs break and she falls down onto another floor.

Cammi: Aw #$%#%#! That hurt! Luckily this pile of conveniently placed pillows broke my fall.

Iggy: Hey, the guards are coming!

Cammi: Do something!

Iggy walks all the way up to the top and sees some barrels.

Smash Soldier 1: I Kie yu!

Cammi: Help!

Iggy ignores her scream for help and leans against a barrel. It rolls all the way down and hits the soldier.

Iggy: Oops... wait, that gives me am idea!

Iggy pulls a slinky out of his pants. He places it and does the slinky down the stairs thing.

Iggy: Everyone loves a slinky! A slinky! A slinky! The most wonderful toy in the world! Yippie!

Then it falls threw a hole in the stairs and lands on Cammi's head.

Cammi: #@@% Iggy, what are you doing?

Iggy: Whoops, Plan B time!

Iggy walks over to another barrel.

Iggy: Uh...

Cammi: Ahhh! Iggy!

Iggy: Oh yeah! Which one to push... Uh, how about this one!?

Iggy pushes it over and closes his eyes.

BOOM!

Cammi: Ow!

Iggy opens his eyes. He looks down.

Iggy: Ouch! Run!

Cammi pushes the barrel off her chest and begins running up the stairs. A Smash soldier is right behind her.

Iggy: Aha!

Iggy runs to the right and pushes the barrel off. It heads straight for the stairs Cammi is running up.

Smash Soldier 3: I got you now!

Iggy: Geronimo!

Cammi: Ahhhh!

Cammi ducks and the barrel explodes off her back. The debris hits the Smash soldier and throws him down the stairs.

Cammi: Of!

Cammi falls over and bleeds there for awhile.

Smash Soldier 2: Uh... I'm outta here!

The last Smash soldier runs out.

Iggy helps Cammi up.

Cammi: What the #$%#%#'s the matter with you?! I could have been killed!

Iggy: Yeah, but you're still alive.

Nick walks into the area.

Nick: Come here Cammi..

Iggy and Cammi run up the stairs again and this time make it to the top.

Nick: Come back down here!

Nick somehow gets a gun in his mouth and begins to fire it up at them.

Nick: Surhenget! (Surrender)

Iggy and Cammi avoid the bullets barely by moving around through the last floor.

Cammi: There's a hole in the roof! Hurry!

Iggy: No, I want to hock a loogie at this Nick dude first!

Iggy does so. The loogie hits Nick.

Nick: Ewww...

Cammi and Iggy quickly climb through the hole but as soon as they do they see a helicopter overhead. A sniper peeks out of the window and begins to fire. He
misses repeatedly.

Sniper: Hey man, can't you keep this thing steady?

Pilot: I'm trying man, I'm too hopped up on coffee to stop jittering though.

The copilot changes the radio station.

Copilot: Yeah man, I love this song.

Pilot: Dude, I gave you an order not to change the radio station!

The pilot changes it back but then the copilot changes it again. In no time the two are fighting.

Cammi: Why is it swinging around like that?

Iggy: Betcha five Gil the Pilot's drunk.

The helicopter seems out of control; it swings about crazily. The copilot tries to punch the pilot but he grabs his hand before he can. ~Snap~

Copilot: Ow! Well take this!

The copilot presses the eject button. A panel opens up above the pilot.

Pilot: It's gonna be a little while.

The pilot grabs his Coke from his drink holder.

BU!

His seat flies up and it sends him into the propeller. His body gets caught in it and jams the propeller. The helicopter lands on some children playing ball.. The sniper escapes from the wreckage.

Sniper: Haha! I'm alive! I'm-

The propeller on top of the helicopter spins off and hits the sniper, cutting him in half.

Sniper: Down I go...

The sniper falls to the ground..

Iggy: Uh... anywho, why was that guy trying to kidnap you?

Cammi: I could tell you but that'd ruin the plot.

Iggy: Darn it!

Cammi and Iggy jump across roof tops, through the grey Slims.

Cammi: I am not sure why they follow me... They say something about ancients and have been trying to kidnap me for awhile.

Iggy: Geez, I wish I hadn't of asked your life story.

Cammi: Fine jerk, see if you want anymore plot holes!

They jump down to the street.

Iggy: Well, I'm going home.

Cammi: Like $%#@# you are! You have to take me home!

Iggy: But I don't know whe-

Cammi: Shut up!

Iggy: I wish I had respect... just a little. At least from girls.

Cammi: I think it's this way... I'm not sure, I've lived here all my life and don't know where I live.

Iggy: This better not take to long because I need to pick up my pay and...

Cammi: Hey look...

Iggy: What?

Cammi: It's my house!

Iggy: That piece of trash?

Iggy points to a cardboard box.

Iggy: Well, I guess I should of expected that, seeing that cheap perfume and dress your wearing.

Cammi: No! That big two-story house over there!

Iggy looks at a huge two-story house with a huge garden in the front.

Iggy: I thought you said that church was the only place you could grow flowers? And what are you doing cheap dresses and perfume when you have all that dough!

Cammi: You're so mean!

Cammi runs into her house. She shuts the door hard.

Iggy: ... I'll have to say that went well. Aw $#%#$5 it! I forgot to get paid!

Iggy tries to decide who he should bug for dough first.

Iggy: Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If it hollers hit it on the head with a two by four. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe!

Iggy points to the southwest which is where the bar is, quite a while away.

Iggy: So far... Not enough energy to walk that far...

Iggy smashes into Cammi's house.

Iggy: Where's dah' cash?!

Woman: Cammi! Get the door, there's a drunk hobo outside!

Cammi opens the door.

Cammi: Iggy! Come in.

Iggy: I'm not a drunken hobo! Dough! Chicks! Gimme!

Iggy walks in and Cammi's mother comes in with some Kool-Aid and crackers.

Mother: Hello, you must be Cammi's new drunk hippie friend! She told me so much about you in the last minute.

Iggy: Uh... cracker! Iggy takes a handful of crackers.

Mother: ... Iggy: Well, er... Cammi and I were chased by some Smash troops just a few minutes ago and I'd like to get pamp-

Cammi: Oh yes, I told mother in less then 5.3 seconds!

Mother: Oh my, yes...

Iggy: Look, I want some mon-

Cammi: Oh yeah, you asked me about why the soldiers were chasing me!

Iggy: No, well not really. I-

Mother: Cammi, I'm sorry but there's something I have to tell you that I've been keeping a secret for the last 20 years...

Iggy: Aw, darn it, I just want my cash! I didn't ask for your freaking life story!

Cammi: Fine! Cammi runs up to her room.

Mother: Iggy..

Iggy is scarfing down the crackers.

Mother: Igggggy....

Iggy coughs up some on the table and eats some more.

Mother: IGGY!

Iggy: Wha?

Mother: I want to ask a favor of you.

Iggy: It's gonna cost 3,000 Gil.

Mother: What? No!

Iggy: Yes!

Mother: No!

Iggy: I said yes!

Iggy throws a rock at Cammi's mother.

Mother: Hey! You don't even know me! You're in my house!

Iggy: What do you want, old woman?

Mother: Please take my daughter with you.

Iggy: Huh? Why?

Mother: Well, it all started 20 years ago...

Iggy: Aw, #$%@, a flashback! I don't even get to pass out!

Mother: It was a long time ago, back during a war... My boyfriend had said he would join the army. Well, I couldn't stop him. He said it was for the money and chicks. I didn't really understand what he was saying because I thought he was drunk. Anyway, I would get letters from him about once a month. He'd say how much fun he was having in the Sector 7 jails. He had done something stupid like sniping the general in the head or something. He'd mainly ask for me to send him beer or something else. Anyway, after a while the letters stopped coming. I waited by the train track to see if he ever would come back. Well, I don't know why the train tracks. He was in jail anyway. Then I got a call from the warden a month later saying he had died on Death Row. I was so sad. But, one day I found a basket on my doorstep... a baby Yoshi... abandoned by some street hobos maybe. I kept her and named her Cammi, after my favorite food, clams. Anyway, sooner or later these Smash troops came and tried to take her. I wouldn't let them. I knew she was special... somehow...

Iggy: That's very interesting... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Cammi's mother takes Iggy to bed. She lays him down in the bed in the room next to Cammi's and puts some shaving cream on his hand. Then she turns out the lights and leaves.

Later that day...

Iggy wakes up.

Iggy: Oh... That was the worst sleep I ever had. Oh, my mouth tasted horrible. I think I'll put my hand in my mouth.

Iggy puts the shaving cream covered hand in his mouth.

Iggy: Mmm! Whip cream!

Iggy licks the "whip cream" off his hands and turns the light on. He locks the door and digs through a bunch of stuff like chests and drawers, etc. During his looting Iggy decides he would escape that night and ditch Cammi. She wasn't really hot anyway. He plans on going back up to the Sector 3 Slims, which is where the ERUPTION group is usually located. After bagging some useless but memory precious heirlooms, he tries to make his escape. He runs out, Cammi stops him, and-

Cammi: Where the heck are you going?

Iggy: I'm going to the bathroom.

Cammi: What's in the sack?

Iggy: Dirty magazines.

Cammi: Ok, well, ga'night.

Cammi goes back to sleep. Iggy is right in front of the stairs out but instead throws his sack out the window and then jumps out after it. Iggy falls into the bushes. All the heirlooms in the bag had broken so he whips out his lighter and sets the evidence on fire.

Iggy: Burn, baby, burn!

The screen changes to Iggy's eyes where you can see the flame glinting off his eyes.

Iggy: Burn!

Then the side of the house catches on fire.

Iggy: *&%)%!

Iggy runs off into the streets and looks back to see the garden catch on fire too.

Iggy: Cool!

Iggy stops to set off some bottle rockets he'd stocked up on. When he is done he runs off some more. The Sector 2 Slims are really screwed up. It has a bunch off hobos.

Hobo 1: Gimme food!

Iggy No! Gimme food!

Hobo 2: Hey! You're the guy who ruined my cesspool!

Iggy gets a stick and pokes the hobo.

Hobo 2: $#%#! Stop that!

Iggy: Fun...

Anyway, Iggy gets bored and throws a beer bottle at the hobo and then runs to the train station.

Iggy: How convenient that the train is still here!

Cammi: Hey Iggy! Come back here!

Cammi comes running from afar.

Iggy: Yeah! No one can resist me!

Cammi: Hey you stupid bodyguard, where the heck do you think you're going?

Iggy: Uh... is this the bathroom? Ah! I found the bathroom!

30 Seconds later...

Cammi: I can't believe you did that!

Iggy: Yeah, whatever.

Iggy looks to see the train is gone.

Iggy: D'oh!

Cammi: You were trying to escape from me, weren't you!

Iggy: Nice guess, witch!

Iggy runs off.

Cammi: Hey! Come back!

Cammi chases after Iggy. They run through the slims for awhile. Then Iggy runs into someone else's house. He runs up the stairs and jumps out the two-story window. He lands on the ground and continues running some more. This continues until they reach a playground. Then Cammi chucks a rock at him.

Iggy: Of!

Iggy falls over and starts twitching. Then he drools out some blood.

Cammi: Nice place, too bad it's trashed.

Cammi looks around and sits down on a slide. Iggy sneaks up the stairs on the slide. When he reaches the top he pushes Cammi.

Cammi: Whoa!

Cammi flips forward and lands on her back at the bottom of the slide. Then she flips off at the end and lands face first into the gravel.

Cammi: Uh....

Iggy: Hahaha!

Then a Buzzy Beetle walks by.

Iggy: Hey! What the h-

Buzzy Beetle: I know, I know. I'm just here to add some Mario Brothers type environment.

Some old school Mario Brother's music begins playing here.

Iggy: Um, what the heck is-

Buzzy Beetle: Don't ask!

The Buzzy Beetle walks off.

Iggy: Duh, duh, duh, duhduhduhdduh. Hey! Come back here!

Buzzy Beetle: Uh oh!

The Buzzy Beetle scrambles to get away but that doesn't really help. Iggy runs up to the Buzzy Beetle and picks it up. Then he lays it on its back.

Buzzy Beetle: Well, I guess I'm gonna be here awhile.

Cammi: Uh! Someone kill that awful music!

It dies away.

Cammi: Thank you.

Iggy: Anyway...

Iggy notices two large doors to Sector 3 to his left.

Iggy: Hey!

Suddenly the two large doors to the next sector open and a cart pulled by a legion of rats comes out. Yoshiki peeks her head out the window of the cart and yells at Iggy.

Yoshiki: Iggy!

Then she flips him off.

Cammi: Who was th-

Iggy pulls out a gun and shoots the wheel of the cart. It pops and the cart flies up on its side for a second. Meanwhile, inside the cart...

Scottish Guy: She can't take much more captain, resort to agseleler power!

Some rockets stick out of the back of the cart and a extra wheel shoves the old one out of the way.

Scottish Guy: Prepare lutiqursh speed!

Driver: Hey dude, do you have any of that mutton stuff on ya'?

The cart shoots off.

Iggy: What the?

Then the wheels on the bottom go sideways like the Back to the Future Car and it flies. It goes up really high until it does that blippy star thing and disappears.

Iggy: Let's just pretend like it went to that town over there... for plot reasons...

Cammi and Iggy run across the road the cart was probably supposed to go on.

Buzzy Beetle: Uh, guys? Ah... see you after the big disaster.

Iggy and Cammi run into a huge town with about 12 or 14 stores.

Cammi: Cool! It's the K-Market! I'm gonna buy some wire! Cammi runs off.

Iggy: Wha... wh... wire?

Iggy walks into the town.

Man 1: Hey! Fresh meat!

Man 2: Let's show him the ropes!

Iggy: Ah! A bunch of people jump Iggy for his Gil.

Man 1: What a gip, this guy doesn't have enough to choke a cat.

5.3 seconds later...

Iggy's is being hung from his feet on a flag pole.

Iggy: Well, it could be worse...

Then it breaks and he falls fifty feet face first into a store.

Iggy: Luckily the shag carpet broke my fall!

Then an auto-seller-machine's (in other words, a robot salesman) camera eye spots him.

BZZZZZ

Machine: Windows ninety-eight!

Iggy: What the-

Machine: Fool, your ways are irrelevant! Resistance is futile.

Iggy: Huh?

Machine: Dance rummy!

A machine gun pokes out of the machine and aims at Iggy's feet.

Iggy: Aw, crud.

Iggy begins to do a dance of avoiding the bullets.

Machine: Now you must die!

A guy begins to walk into the shop.

Guy: Hey, is this Roy's Chicken Hut?

The machine shoots out an AOL free trial disk from its drive and Iggy jumps out of the way. The disc decapitates the guy.

Iggy: Wazza!

Iggy runs out of the store. He runs into the bar.

Iggy: Whew...

Iggy gets a seat right in front of the bartender. The bartender's back is facing him.

Iggy: Hey, can I have a drink?

Bartender: ....

Iggy: Excuse me-

The bartender spins around quickly. Its eyes flash.

Auto Bartender Machine: Windows ninety-eight! Didn't expect to see me here, did ya? Fool, your ways are irrelevant! Resistance is futile.

Iggy: Huh?

Auto Bartender Machine: Dance rummy!

A machine gun pokes out of the machine and aims at Iggy's feet.

Iggy: Aw, crud.

Iggy begins to do a dance of avoiding the bullets.

Machine: Now you must die!

A guy begins to walk into the shop.

Guy: Hey, is this Roy's Bar?

The machine shoots out an AOL free trial disk from its drive and Iggy jumps out of the way. The disc decapitates the guy.

Iggy: This is getting repetitive.

Iggy runs out of the bar and runs into Cammi.

Cammi: Ouch!

Iggy: There's a crazed robot after me trying to make me try an AOL trial disc and making me dance!

Cammi: Aw, you're drunk. Don't worry, I got a hangover cure.

Cammi pulls a vial out of her pocket that's steaming and almost overflowing.

Iggy: No, I'm not dru-

Iggy gets it stuffed down his mouth.

Iggy: Aw, my freaking mouth!

Iggy keels over and twitches.

Cammi: Enough talk, we need to help your friend.

Iggy: Forget her, I can't breath! Let's try that big house over there.

Iggy spits out the vial and they head over there. They walk in and see it is like a small hotel. It has a reception and a few rooms, about 3.

Iggy: Ah!

Iggy sees a Piranha Plant near him.

Iggy: Die nature!

Iggy pulls out his lighter and tries to set it on fire. It fails.

Receptionist: Hey you!

Iggy: Ah! Iggy runs out.

Cammi: Uh, anyways, who runs this place?

Receptionist: Roy. All the women usually come to him for money and stuff.

Cammi: Can my friend and me see him?

Receptionist: That retarded male? No. He likes retarded females though.

Cammi: Hmmm, that gives me an idea.

Cammi walks out.

Cammi: He already has the pants...

Meanwhile with Iggy...

Auto Waiter Machine: Dance rummy!

A machine gun pokes out of the machine and aims at Iggy's feet.

Iggy: Aw, crud.

Iggy begins to do a dance of avoiding the bullets.

Auto Waiter Machine: Now you must die!

A guy begins to walk into the shop.

Guy: Hey, is this Roy's House of Waffles?

The machine shoots out an AOL free trial disk from its drive and Iggy jumps out of the way. The disc decapitates the guy. Iggy runs out this time without a stupid comment.

Cammi: Hey Iggy I have a plan!

Iggy: What is it? Cammi: Well, you'll become a crossdresser-

Iggy: -to infiltrate the large building over there as disguising ourselves as retarded females.

Cammi: ...No. But that is a good idea.

Iggy: Great, as long as it doesn't involve another machine running gag.

Cammi: All you need is a dress, makeup, and a wig.

They start their quest for these items at the most obvious place, the wrestling arena.

Ten minutes later...

Iggy: Well, I'm dead.

GAME OVER

Player: Crud, I forgot to save!

The player gets on Ebay and buys some saved game files.

Player: I'm definitely not gonna go through all that trash again.

Two weeks later...

The player gets the package.

Player: Whoopee! I-HEY! They're all bashed up! Darn, I shouldn't of gotten the ones that said "in fair condition".

The player goes over to his friend's house and steals his Gameshark during a sleepover while his friend is sleeping. He hooks it up to his PSX and gets up to where he was. He saves but then the Gameshark melts.

Player: I guess he got it from Ebay too.

Back to the game...

Wrestler: Hey dude, what ya' want?

Iggy: A dress.

Wrestler: Er, well, uh...

Iggy: ...

Wrestler: Here, you can have these high-heeled shoes I'm wearing if you can beat my pet in a battle.

Iggy: Okay!

The wrestler whistles and a Piranha Plant appears.

Ginko: I shall rule the world! Mwahahahahahaha!

Iggy: Weren't you the guard at the mansion?

Ginko: Uh, yeah...

Iggy: This story is full of plot holes.

Ginko: You're telling me?

Iggy: Uh, here's a beer.

Ginko: Thanks. Ginko eats the entire bottle.

Iggy: Well, now that you're even more highly flammable...

Iggy pulls out his lighter

Ginko: Well, I'm dead.

Iggy lights Ginko on fire.

Ginko: Hmm... I should pick my last words. I love you Emily!

Iggy: Emily? Who is this Emily, is she some kind of-

Ginko: Poop! Haha! Poop!

Ginko turns into ashes.

Wrestler: Hey! You cheated! I'm not giving you my high-heeled shoes!

A:) How about your Birkenstocks?

B:) Haha! I'm laughing because I know it's funny. Hand them over!

Player: What?! A and B? I don't have any A and B buttons!

The player presses the X.

Iggy: How about your Birkenstocks?

1 minute later...

GAME OVER!

Then the player's PSX melts.

Player: Ah, forget this. My family's so poor, we get all our stuff from Ebay.

Meanwhile, with another player...

Wrestler: Ok, fine, their in the locker over there.

Iggy: I thought you said you were wearing them.

Wrestler: Well, er... The wrestler disappears.

Iggy: Anywho... Iggy opens the locker.

Auto Locker Machine: Ha! Automated locker! Resistance is futile!

Iggy: Aw....

Iggy grabs them and runs out.

Auto Locker Machine: Run, mortal! Sooner or later, Microsoft shall rule the world!

Iggy: Cammi, where did you go?

Auto-Locker-Partner-Machine: Mac!

Auto-Locker-Machine: Microsoft.

Bill Gates runs in.

Bill Gates: Actually, Mac computers usually go slower. 1,000-

Auto Locker Machine: Resistance is futile!

Auto Locker Partner Machine: Your ways are irrelevant!

Bill Gates: Huh?

Auto Locker Machine: Dance rummy!

A machine gun pokes out of the machine and aims at Bill Gates' feet.

Bill Gates: Aw, crud.

Go read part 2.

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