Lil Cheep Cheep's and Axem Leader's Quest

By Lil Cheep Cheep and Axem Leader

Part 2: New Friends!

Lil Cheep Cheep, Axem Leader, and Luigi make it out of the castle and look for Mario, but there is no trace of him!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Darn it!

Luigi: He probably went to go get some more pizza…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Yeah. Hey, I’m hungry…

All their stomachs growl…

Axem Leader: Glad I saved half of the talking sandwich!

Axem Leader takes half of a sandwich out of his pocket.

Talking Sandwich: Et e o!

Lil Cheep Cheep: What did he say?

Axem Leader: I think he can only say half of his words…

Luigi: I think he said, “Let me go”.

Lil Cheep Cheep: No, sounded more like “Eat at Joes”, but no matter, let's go back to the shop, steal more stuff, and go look for the Axem Rangers again!

They were all surprised by the loud sound of a doomship above them!

Axem Leader: Oh crud!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Which Koopa Kid is that one?

Luigi: That’s the family doomship, they all must be in it!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Uh oh…

A rope ladder is tossed down and all seven Koopa Kids slide down!

Larry: Hey-

Morton: Stop-

Wendy: Right-

Iggy: There-

Roy: You-

Lemmy: Dumb-

Ludwig: Guys!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ok now, that… that wasn’t even clever.

Axem Leader: Ack! They finish each other’s sentences, now that is freaky!

Luigi: Aren’t Lemmy and Iggy supposed to do that?

Lemmy: Yes you-

Iggy: Dumb dumb!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Well what do you guys want?

Ludwig: We heard you defeated all of our clones!

Wendy: So we wanted to challenge you!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ok let’s kick these guys butts and get our reward from them!

Wendy: Reward?

Axem Leader: Yeah, because when you battle special people in RPG games, you get a special prize!

Wendy: Oh, he thinks we’re special!

Ludwig: Uhh… ok, if you win, we give you Morton’s wand!

Morton: Hey!

Wendy: But if you lose, we get to keep all of your stuff!

Iggy: Including your clothes!

Everyone looks at Iggy in confusion…

Ludwig: Right…

Wendy: So is it a deal?

Lil Cheep Cheep: Deal!

Axem Leader: Aww poo…

Roy: Ok, 3… 2… 1… FIGHT!

Axem Leader focuses his energy into his axe and hits the ground. All of the Koopa Kids except Roy fall on their backs.

Roy: Argh!

Roy starts to dash at Lil Cheep Cheep.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Oh no you don’t!

Lil Cheep Cheep does “Kamikaze dash” and breaks Roy’s shell!

Roy: Ahh! I’m nude! AHH!

Roy runs back onto the doomship.

Ludwig withdraws into his shell and runs over Lil Cheep Cheep!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Glak!

Axem Leader hands Luigi a Starman.

Luigi: What’s this for?

Axem Leader: Use it to stomp and break all the Koopa Kids' shells!

Luigi: Right!

Luigi uses the Starman and stomps Iggy, Wendy, Morton, and Larry!

Iggy: Ahh!

Wendy: Eek!

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!

Larry: Mahoy!

Iggy, Wendy, Morton, and Larry climb back on the doomship. Lemmy rolls back on his side.

Lemmy: Ludwig, let’s stomp these bums!

Ludwig: Yeah!

Ludwig grabs Axem Leader and starts squeezing him. Lemmy grabs Luigi and starts squeezing him.

Luigi: AHHH!

Axem Leader: AGH! … AHH! LIL CHEEP CHEEP!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ugh… huh? What the?

Lil Cheep Cheep starts floating in the air and starts flashing colors…

Axem Leader: *cough cough*

Luigi: Can’t… breath…

Lil Cheep Cheep start spinning in the air and spins so fast, he starts a tornado!

Ludwig: What the heck?! AHH!

Lemmy: AHH!

Lemmy and Ludwig get sucked in and are shot out of the tornado and they land in the doomship! Lemmy doesn’t quite make it. He falls all the way back down…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Someone catch him!

Luigi: No!

Axem Leader: Umm…

THUMP!

Lemmy: Ow…

Luigi starts kicking him!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Stop it! Maybe he will be helpful on our journey! Haven’t you ever played Mario RPG? Bowser was Mario’s friend…

Luigi: Yeah, they should have called it Luigi RPG though…

Lemmy: Ugh... get off of me!

Lemmy pushes Luigi and he falls down.

Axem Leader: Stop fighting!

Luigi: Ok ok!

Lemmy since I have no idea how to get home and the doomship flew away without me, I guess I have to join you guys!

Luigi: Uhh…

Axem Leader: Uhh…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Sure! ^_^

Lemmy, Luigi, Lil Cheep Cheep, and Axem Leader go to the store and start stealing stuff… After about five minutes, the whole store has nothing to sell.

Lemmy: Ok I think this should cover any kind of danger we face!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Yeah!

Luigi: Let’s get out of here now!

Axem Leader: Hey, look what I found guys!

Axem Leader holds up a bag and shakes it. It makes a rattling sound.

Everyone: MONEY!

The party walks outside only to meet the talking sandwich’s brother from the orange juice commercials!

Axem Leader: Whoa! It’s the sandwich from the orange juice commercial!

Talking Sandwich 2: Oy! Where be me brother?! Arrgghh…

Lemmy: Whoa! In real life, he talks like some cheap pirate dude!

Talking Sandwich 2: No I don’t! Arrgghh…

Lemmy: Yes you do!

Talking Sandwich 2: No I don’t! Arrgghh…

Luigi: No you don’t

Talking Sandwich 2: See? Your own idiotic plumber be agreeing with me. Where was I? Arrgghh…

Lil Cheep Cheep: You were going to say "No I don’t!"

Talking Sandwich 2: HA!!! That trick wont be workin’ on me! Yes I am! Arrgghh…

Luigi: … And you call me idiotic!

Talking Sandwich 2: That’s 'cause you are…

Luigi: ... Does this mean I wasted 30 coins on the book "How to be Smart"?

Axem Leader: Yes, you are correct…

Luigi: ... Then that’s the last time I trust the TV when it says "Be a genius in just five billion easy steps!"

Lemmy: Hey Lil Cheep Cheep... can I hit him just to shut him up?

Axem Leader: … So Mr. Talking Sandwich, do you want to fight us or what?

Talking Sandwich 2: Why would I want to fight you matey?

Lil Cheep Cheep: 'Cause we have half of your brother.

Talking Sandwich 2: Nah, you can keep him. After all, he's only my half brother!

Drum solo. Silence for about ten seconds.

Luigi: Well we have to be going then.

Lemmy: Bye pirate dude!

Talking Sandwich 2: I’m not a pirate! Aarrgghh…

Lemmy: Yeah, whatever!

Talking Sandwich 2: ARGH!

The group starts heading toward the fork in the road again. After another hour of walking, they hear a strange noise... Luigi wets his pants. Luigi blushes.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ack!

Lemmy: Ha ha!

Axem Leader: Oh no! It's the zombie again, but this time he brought three of his friends! Hey Lil Cheep Cheep, why don’t you use some of that “Kung Cheep-fu”?

Lil Cheep Cheep: Because I ain’t gonna battle three bleepin' zombies by myself!

Lemmy: Why don’t you just send Luigi?

Luigi: Why don’t you do it Koopa breath?

Lemmy: Because I’m an important asset to the team!

Luigi: And I’m not?

Silence for about a minute.

Lemmy: Fine then you sissy! I will go take care of them!

Lemmy goes up to the first zombie and kicks him. Toad comes out of nowhere…

Toad: Hey! That’s my $&#*ing move you $^#@ing Koopa!

Toad goes over to Lemmy and kicks him. Lemmy falls to the floor.

Lemmy: Ohh…

Toad walks back into the woods. Luigi wets himself again for no good reason.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Hey! This isn’t “Koopa RPG”, stop it!

Luigi: Whatever…

Lemmy: Ok… now that… HURT!

Axem Leader: Well duh…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Hello! Have you guys already forgotten about the ZOMBIES?!

Luigi: Zombies?! Where?!

Luigi runs around screaming like a schoolgirl and trips and falls in cow manure.

Axem Leader: EWW!!

Lil Cheep Cheep: HELLO!!! The zombies are still there!

Zombie 1: Greargh!

Zombie 2: Reah!

Zombie 3: LKAJSDHFAB!!!

Lemmy finally gets up…

Lemmy: Well someone attack already! I’m getting old!

Axem Leader: FINE!!! Well... what are you waiting for Lil Cheep Cheep?

Lil Cheep Cheep looks at Axem Leader as if he’s lost his mind.

Then all of a sudden a giant anvil falls on top of the zombies.

SMASH!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Well that was interesting.

Axem Leader: Yeah. If we had waited, Lemmy wouldn't have been kicked!

Lemmy: Hey! You want me to kick you and see how it feels?!

Axem Leader: No!

Lemmy: Well too bad!

Lemmy runs at Axem Leader!

Axem Leader: Hey!

Axem Leader pulls Luigi in front of him before Lemmy kicks him…

Luigi: OHHHHHH!!!

Lil Cheep Cheep: That’s enough for now! Save it for uhh… other people. Yeah…

Axem Leader: Ok, let’s continue!

Luigi: Why? We haven’t died!

Lemmy: No you idiot! He meant… oh never mind!

The party finally makes it to the fork in the road.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ok since we have a really strong team-

Lemmy: Minus Luigi of course…

Lil Cheep Cheep: We can take the right path now!

Luigi decides to hold in his anger for a while.

Axem Leader: Hey it’s a shiny thing in the bushes... I say we go on and forget about it.

Luigi: Why? It looks so pretty.

Lemmy: Ok Dodo brains, go get it!

Luigi walks over and gets it and brings back a coin.

Axem Leader: … Uhh…

Lil Cheep Cheep: How did you do that Luigi?

Luigi: Do what? Wet my pants again? It was easy! You see first I-

Lil Cheep Cheep: NO YOU IDIOT!!! Never mind. Let’s continue!

Luigi: Why? We haven't di-

Everyone: SHUT UP!!!

The gang starts taking the right path and sees another house.

Lil Cheep Cheep: I hope no old people with shotguns live there.

Lemmy: There is only way to fi-

A gunshot is heard followed by a shriek…

Luigi: W-w-w-what was th-th-that?

Luigi wets his pants.

Lemmy: Bejesus crimany plumber!

Lil Cheep Cheep: I don’t know what that was… but we better invest-

Axem Leader: CRIME BUSTERS INC.!

Everyone looks at Axem Leader.

Axem Leader: Well it’s better than Crimebusters.com.

Lil Cheep Cheep: No it’s not.

Axem Leader: Whatever, let’s just go see what the heck is going on!

The group walks into the house but it is dark. Lil Cheep Cheep looks across the room and notices something move…

Read on!