Mario: Well we’re back here…
Luigi: Brr…
Mario: Hmm… The hint for this Star said something about a race with a penguin… I know! Remember that penguin whose baby we saved? Lets go ask her if she wants to race with us!
Luigi: I’m too hungry.
Mario: Nice try, you’re coming with me!
Luigi collapses on the floor, evidently from hunger. Mario counts to ten and kicks him.
Luigi: Ow!
Luigi gets up.
Luigi: Dang…
They head around, left, right, up, down, and eventually, after several hours, they find the penguin.
Baby Penguin: MAMA! MAMA!
Mario and Luigi: Ahh! Make it stop!
Mother Penguin: (slightly annoyed) Alright, whaddaya want?
Luigi: Ya wanna race?
Mother Penguin: No, but I’m sure my husband will, he usually stays by the slide in the log cabin…
The mother penguin turns her head and sees Mario and Luigi running back up the mountain.
Mother Penguin: Hmph…
Several hours later…
Mario and Luigi: We made it!
Mario and Luigi make like Santa Claus and jump in the chimney, but get their bottoms burned by the fire in the fireplace.
Mario and Luigi: Owwwwwww owowowowowowowowowowow!
They look up and see a big penguin about twice their size.
Mario and Luig: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Big Penguin: Argghh, ya mangy flee bitten’ cowards, see a giant penguin an’ all ya can think of ta do is scream like a bunch o’ sissies!
Mario: Well jeez, what type of reaction didja want? I’ll bet we’re braver than you anyway.
Big Penguin: Oh ho ho ho! A challenge! Since you challenged me I get to choose the arena!
Luigi: That’s not what he-
Mario: Shh! This might be the way to get the Star!
Luigi: Oh…
Big Penguin: Quit yer whisperin’ an’ listen! Me an’ one o’ you will race down this here slide. If ya win, ya get a prize! If ya lose yer twin-
Luigi: Wait! We’re not twins!
Big Penguin: Stop interruptin’! Now where was I… ah yes, if ya lose yer twin gets a go, if he loses too… you become my slaves for all eternity! Aha aha ha ha ha ha ha!
A withered old man walks by holding a mop and a bucket of water.
Old Man: It’s *gasp* true, he *wheeze* wasn’t lying…
Big Penguin: Git back ter ya work!
Mario: (puffing out his chest) My brother and I accept the challenge!
Luigi: I never said that!
Mario: Shut up!
Mario and the penguin line up at the starting line.
Announcer: 3… 2… 1… go! And they’re
off! It’s Mario, Big Penguin, Mario, Big Penguin, oooooh they’re neck and
neck! Around a sharp bend, through the cave going around another sharp
turn down the hill… they’re on the home stretch!
Big Penguin grabs Mario in his beak
and throws him back up to the top.
Announcer: Big Penguin wins!
Mario throws a tantrum.
Mario: it’s not fair! He cheated! I want a rematch!
Luigi: Relax, you’ve still got me.
Mario: (rolling his eyes) I’m reassured…
Big Penguin and Luigi line up and start racing. After a couple of turns, Luigi inevitably falls off and by sheer luck lands near the finish line.
Luigi: @$%#! Oh wait, here I am near the finish line…
Luigi crosses the finish line, a few minutes later so does Big Penguin.
Big penguin: Argggghhhh! Ya won this time, but I’ll be back.
A Star appears. Luigi grabs it and does the Star Dance as the Star music plays.
Luigi: Here we go! Hey, cool, I got this Star all by myself!
Mario: (looking kind of grumpy) It was total luck, let’s get moving!
Luigi: Bye-bye Mister Penguin!
Big penguin sobs loudly.
Mario: C’mon…