As Mario and Luigi wander through the castle, Mario has an idea.
Mario: I have an idea.
Luigi: That's great! What is it?
Mario: I just found out that this castle's a wreck. It has a flooded basement, is infested with pesky rabbits, and is falling apart.
A piece of the ceiling falls on Luigi's head.
Luigi: OWOWOWOWOWOW!
Mario: Even though you got hit on the head, I guarantee good news!
Luigi: What?
Mario: I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Gecko.
Luigi: Don't you mean Guy Co.?
Mario: No.
Luigi: Let's get a Star so I don't have to stand with a moron.
Mario: (looking around wildly) I didn't know Wario was here!
Luigi: (looking directly at you) Help me, Dr. Phil!
As Luigi is crying for Dr. Phil, Mario runs to the basement. Luigi runs after him while crying about being related to Mario. Mario and Luigi both jump into the Lethal Lava Land painting.
Mario: The good part about having this place is that you'll never be cold.
Luigi: (looking somewhere) Look, the Star!
Mario looks behind the big steel cage and sees a shining Star.
Mario: Let's go.
Luigi and Mario go across the lava-filled wasteland and land on a platform with many Bullies.
Mario: What are these Bullies anyway?
Luigi: (looking in a dictionary): A Bully is a Bob-omb/Koopa Kid prototype.
Mario: Let's jump on that steel platform.
The platform starts moving.
Mario and Luigi: Wheeeee!
As Mario and Luigi dodge the flames, they land on a platform leading up to a log.
Mario: Hey Luigi, what do we do?
Luigi: (not listening) Hey, this looks like stuff the lumberjacks roll on in the river. Let's run backwards on the log.
Mario: There is no way I'm getting on a log over a boiling lake of lava.
Luigi: Yes you are!
Mario: May I ask why?
Luigi: (walking over onto the log) 'Cause I'm gonna tell... Wario you're a sissy and he's gonna hold that over your head for years.
As Mario chases Luigi on the log, they do not notice that they are inching towards the Star.
Mario: Hey, I'm gonna get the Star before you.
Luigi: In your dreams!
Mario bounces on Luigi but Luigi jumps, causing Mario to spring back and fall in the lava.
Mario: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
Luigi: (running to the Star): I've-a got it!
Mario: (crying) On to the next Star...
Luigi: No matter how painful!
Mario: Noooooooo!