Part 3: The Mountaintop
Our heroes continued on their quest. However, after walking a few miles in no direction particular, they discovered a strange creature.
"Poppy!" said the strange creature.
"What the heck is that?" asked Luigi.
"Poppy poppy!" said the creature again.
"That's-a Poppy Bros Jr," Mario said. "This specific kind is the one shown in Kirby's Fun Pack/Kirby's All Stars. However, this specific one is of the rare kind that you only see when you have a helper with the Bomb power."
"Poppy!" said the Poppy Bros Jr (hereafter
known as Poppy for short). It gave Wario a recorded message.
The message said (in Lord Seth's voice):
"This is my pet Poppy Bros Jr. Don't worry, it's very well behaved. It only blew up the house once! By the way, if it hands you a bomb, put it in your pocket. It's a sign of friendship. However, if you throw down the bomb, then-"
BBOOOMM!!!
"-it explodes, as you just discovered," finishes the tape recorder.
"And you couldn't have told us about that earlier?!" Wario said.
"Sorry I didn't tell you about that earlier, Wario," said the recorder, still in Lord Seth's voice. "So, just take it on your way. It'll sure help you!"
"Help me? How?" Luigi wondered. He got his answer when Poppy threw a giant bomb at him, hurting him severely.
"Very strong," observed Mario.
"Ow..." Luigi said. "It sure didn't help me there, but it will be a good asset in battle..."
**POPPY JOINS THE PARTY**
Mario flashed the peace sign to no one in particular.
"Who did you just do that to?" Wario asked Mario.
"Do what?"
"Flash the peace sign. We're not quite making peace, after all!"
"To no one in particular."
I JUST SAID THAT!
"Well, too bad!"
Just then, a Goomba (one in Smithy's army) appeared. This one was ten times as strong as most Goombas.
"The scripwriter is just punishing us for getting on his nerves..." muttered Luigi.
BATTLE START
Attacker: Goomba
Attack: Poison Dart
Target: Poppy
Effect: 5 damage dealt
HP Left: 20
(Ten times as strong?! I'd hate to see a regular Goomba! Well actually, I wouldn't, it would be so easy to defeat!)
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: SuperBombs
Target: Goomba
Effect: 30 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Goomba is defeated!
POPPY WINS!
"Not bad for a Poppy Bros Jr," said Mario. They walked on until they saw a Mushroomer.
"Where should we go?" asked Mario.
"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.
"How does that help us?" asked Wario.
"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.
"Uh... do you say anything other than that?" asked Luigi.
"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.
"What's going on?" asked Wario.
"Poppy?" agreed Poppy. From now on we shall use a translator so that we and everyone else can understand what he is saying.
"I know!" said Mario. "It's just like a video game. People always say the same thing!"
"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer, agreeing.
"Well? What're we waiting for? Let's go!" Poppy said.
Unfortunately, suddenly a Shy Guy appeared. This was one of the one's under Mack's control.
BATTLE START
Shy Guy: I'll get lots of money for defeating you!
Attacker: Shy Guy
Attack: Jump
Target: Poppy
Effect: 30 damage dealt
HP Left: 5
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Hammer (remember those hammers
they got a little ways back?)
Target: Shy Guy
Effect: 40 damage dealt
HP Left: 50
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Hammer
Target: Shy Guy
Effect: 50 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Shy Guy defeated.
WARIO WINS!
"Ow..." said the Shy Guy.
"No fair. I didn't get to help!" complained Luigi.
"You will eventually!" Poppy told him.
"Hmph," hmphed Luigi.
"Okay Shy Guy, where are the others being held?" Mario asked.
"I don't know exactly, but it's in those mountains somewhere!"
"Maybe that's where we'll find one of the Scrolls of Power!"
"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," repeated the Mushroomer.
"Oh, shut up already," said Wario.
And so our heroes left to try to climb the mountain, get the Scroll of Power, and rescue their "friends". Hmmm... a pretty hard agenda list.
"You're telling me!"
On the way there, they had to fight a Blooper. Well, actually, four.
BATTLE START
Enemies: Four Bloopers
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: Bomb
Target: Blooper 2
Effect: 20 damage dealt
HP Left: 10
Poppy: I need to work on my strength...
The Bloopers are weakened because they're
not in water, so they're as strong as usual, not ten times as
strong.
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Hammer
Target: Blooper 2
Effect: 30 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Blooper 2 defeated.
Okay, okay, I may have changed the battle
format a bit, and may continue to do that, but you'll still
understand it, hopefully, okay?
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Fireball
Target: Blooper 4
Effect: 30 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Blooper 4 defeated.
Attacker: Blooper 3
Attack: Sting
Target: Poppy
Effect: 50 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Poppy faints.
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Hammer
Target: Blooper 3
Effect: 15 damage dealt
HP Left: 15
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Bash
Target: Blooper 3
Effect: 15 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Blooper 3 defeated.
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Fireball
Target: Blooper 1
Effect: 30 damage dealt
Blooper 1 defeated.
MARIO WINS!
"Ow..." stammered Poppy.
"Good thing I brought this Mushroom!" said Mario.
Mario uses the Mushroom on Poppy and it heals him.
"Thanks!"
Our heroes continue up the mountain, fighting a few enemies along the way. Finally they reach the top.
"Oh man! I forgot to bring my flag so I could stick it up here!" said Luigi.
"Someone already did," said Wario, pointing to a flag with a (badly drawn) picture of Smithy's face.
Part 4: Lost!
Meanwhile...
"I said let me have a computer! I need to do my updates!" Lemmy shouted at the guard.
"Too bad!" said the guard "And if I don't let you, erase me!"
Oh, I will.
"AAAAH! Fine! I'll get you one!" the guard whined.
"Knowing the narrator has its good points," muttered Lemmy to himself. Then the guard came back with an old, obsolete computer.
"It's the best I could do..." said the guard.
"At least I can do my updates!" said Lemmy.
Back to where our heroes are...
"Hahaha!" screeched a voice from behind them. They spun around to face a Koopa Troopa guard. "Prepare to die!" it announced.
BATTLE START.
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: SuperBombs
Target: Guard
Effect: 35 damage dealt
HP Left: 5
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Hammer
Target: Guard
Effect: 5 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Guard defeated.
WARIO WINS.
EVERYONE GAINS A LEVEL!!! ALL ARE LEVEL 2'S!
Poppy now has 30 HP and has learned
HyperBombs.
Wario now has 45 HP and has learned
Double Punch.
Mario has 40 HP and has learned Super
Fireball.
Luigi has 40 HP and has learned Super
Jump.
So, to recap their abilities:
Poppy: 30 HP
Weapon: Bomb
Special:
SuperBombs-Hurls bombs at enemies
HyperBombs-Hurls Bob-ombs at enemies,
stronger than SuperBombs
Wario: 45 HP
Weapon: Hammer
Special:
Bash-Basic Special Attack
Double Punch-Stronger Special, sometimes
Stuns the opponent.
Mario: 40 HP
Weapon: Hammer
Special:
Fireball-Basic Special
Super Fireball-Stronger than Fireball
and sometimes sets enemy on fire
Luigi: 40 HP
Weapon: Hammer
Special:
Jump-Basic Special
Super Jump-Stronger form of Jump, attacks
twice in a row
"We finally went up in level! Woohoo!" exclaimed Luigi.
"No time to celebrate," said Wario.
"We gotta find Smithy's HQ... and you, my friend, are going to help us,"
he
snarled at the Koopa Troopa guard.
It gulped under his gaze.
"I-it's over to the r-right, I think," the Koopa Troopa guard stammered.
"Well, we'll just take you along with us then, to make sure you're telling the truth!" Poppy said.
"Oh..." groaned the Koopa Troopa. They wandered to the right and found an entrance. They went in (unfortunately, the Koopa Troopa escaped and ran out). Meanwhile, on a cliff nearby... we find Lord Seth and Vapor, watching our heroes' progress.
"Why don't you help them?" Vapor asked Lord Seth. "It would be so much easier if you went there yourself..."
"Vapor," Lord Seth interrupted, "think. They believe it's just a battle between them and Smithy's army, and the person heading it. That's wrong. The true battle is occuring far above that... between you and me... and you-know-who."
"Who? Voldemort?" asked Vapor.
"No, of course not!" Lord Seth snapped. "Do you think I'd fear HIM?! Please, not even the killing curse, which is supposed to be unblockable, would scratch me. Not him... but you know who."
"Why don't you say the guy's name out loud?"
"THIS IS A STORY! PEOPLE ARE READING THIS!!!"
"Oh, there's that..."
"Come on Vapor, we have work to do." Lord Seth started walking away, and Vapor followed.
Back to the cave...
"Oh darn, now we're lost," said Poppy.
"No we're not!" said Luigi.
"Really?" asked Mario. "In that case, where are we?"
"We're um... we're here!" Luigi said, pointing to a map on the wall at one of those little red pointy arrows pointing to a dot that says "You Are Here".
"Okay, then we go this way!" Wario said.
They walked away. If one of them had stayed there, they would have
noticed the little red dot moving.
"Cool technology. The dot moved!" said Mario.
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HEAR THAT! Now, where is that Universal Transmitter? I need to turn it off so that you, the reader hears me, but the characters don't. Now, where is that switch? Oh, I see-
"What was that?"
"I have no idea."
Five Goomba guards suddenly appeared.
"Give me a break," muttered Luigi. "We need a challenge."
The five Goombas changed into ParaHyperGoombas.
"Me and my big mouth," Luigi sighed.
"But a perfect time to test our new abilities!" announced Mario.
BATTLE START
Enemies: Five ParaHyperGoombas
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Super Jump
Target: ParaHyperGoomba 4 (now to be
referred to as ParaGoombas, although they are not)
Effect: 100 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
ParaGoomba 4 is defeated.
Luigi: I'm much stronger now!
Attacker: ParaGoomba 1
Attack: Jump
Target: Luigi
Effect: 35 damage dealt
HP Left: 5
Luigi: Owch! Maybe I'm not.
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: HyperBombs
Target: ParaGoomba 1
Effect: 100 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
ParaGoomba 1 defeated.
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Double Punch
Target: ParaGoomba 2
Effect: 60x2 damage dealt (120)
ParaGoomba 2 defeated.
Attacker: ParaGoomba 3
Attack: GoombaBomb
Target: Poppy
Effect: 5x5 damage dealt (25)
HP Left: 5
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Super Fireball
Target: ParaGoomba 3
Effect: 70 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
ParaGoomba 3 defeated.
MARIO WINS.
The ParaGoombas, although defeated, had just enough strength to fly away quickly.
"Drats!" said Poppy. "But what is this?" he said, picking something up.
"It's a crystal," said Wario. He took
it from Poppy and looked at it carefully. "This one strengthens you," he
added. Just as he finished saying that,
the crystal exploded into blue light.
ALL OUR HEROES GAIN A LEVEL! ALL ARE LEVEL 3's!
Wario now has 55 HP
Poppy now has 40 HP
Mario now has 50 HP
Luigi now has 50 HP
"Now what?" asked Mario.
"Well, we could try entering that door that says DO NOT ENTER," Luigi answered.
Everyone agreed, so they opened it. They found Mack inside.
"Ah... here you are," Mack said with an evil grin. "I hope that you are ready to die! Want to rescue someone? COME THROUGH ME TO GET THEM!"