Lemmy: Good morn- we’re still here. I guess those guys are waiting for us to go to the immunity challenge.
Misty: Unfortunately.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: I am quite certain this will be a contest that has to do with stealing a key off a large Phanto. If it is, we can’t be stopped, because no Sub-con creature would ever harm me! Well, at least I think... now that I think of it, there have been quite a few here that have tried to harm me, so this might not be a cakewalk.
Guest256: This isn’t going to be easy.
King 27: What isn’t?
Guest256: The immunity challenge! We’re going to have to steal a key off a large Phanto, which I could tell from the poem. I thought it would be easy since I’m from Sub-con, but these guys are different.
Rachelle: We’ll have to pull off a victory here. It would be a shame to lose here and already put ourselves in jeopardy. After all, we’ve got to have at least five going into the merge to stand a fighting chance, and I think we’ll need at least six in case that team is a good one in getting immunity.
Misty, Movie-Quoter: This is a must-win situation already? I’m not worried quite yet.
Koshi: Come on, we have to finish off this food!
Misty: All right, I’ll help.
Videogamerpat: Where are those immunity guys?
Arim: They’re about to show up.
Videogamerpat: How do you know that?
Arim: It’s one of those gut instincts... for once I haven’t read ahead in the script! Or have I?
Larry walks into the camp.
Larry: Hey, cheaters!
Lemmy: Cheaters?
Larry: Yeah, you hanging out in the wrong camp! Come with me! I’m taking you to that pathetic- or, I mean, awesome- immunity challenge!
Guest256: Could you give us a few minutes?
Larry: Sure. But when you’re ready, just jump into that warp pipe over there, the one we just built. Make sure you’re there within fifteen minutes!
Arim: All right.
Larry hops into the pipe.
Videogamerpat: We’ve eaten practically all the food already. Anything we’ve got left we’ll just throw in the fire, I guess.
Guest256: Give me that stick!
King 27 hands Guest256 the stick and Guest256 lights the stick on fire.
Guest256: Now I’ll torch the hammocks. Look out!
While Guest256 torches the hammocks, Videogamerpat tosses the remaining food into the fire, keeping only a few bottles of water, two of them for after the immunity challenge and the other to help put out the fire.
Guest256: There we go! Hey, I hate that “Camp Troopa” sign. Throw it in the fire too!
Before long, the Koopa Mass has set half of the nearby trees and bushes on fire as well. They finally put out the campfire and toss the wood into the woods. Then they try to stomp out the remaining fires as it begins to rain.
Guest256: All right, that rain will put out the rest of this fire, I hope! Now let’s get going!
The Koopa Mass members jump into the pipe, a few of them laughing as they enter the pipe, seeing the disaster they have left behind.
Misty, Movie-Quoter: Those Troopas are going to have a terrible time trying to fix their camp...
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: This has been almost too easy of a time. We’ve been enjoying practically everything we want. It may not end tonight, as we’ll be going to our real camp, one that will still have everything at it.
Simon: We’re practically out of food already!
Bowser 52589: We might as well start getting ready to torch the place, but we don’t want those Koopalings to see it and find out.
Vapor: Quiet! Here comes one right now! He came out of a pipe over there!
Lord Seth: Roy!
Roy: Hey guys! How’s it going?
J.B.: Great, so far.
Roy: Well, I’m just here to tell you about the immunity challenge. It’s in fifteen minutes, and that’s all I can say. When you’re ready, just hop in this newly-built pipe and then we can figure out what to do about your little mix-up- you know, being in the wrong camp and all that. Goodbye for now!
Roy hops in the pipe.
David Lewis: Well, that guy’s gone for now.
Dane Petersen: Let’s get to work on wrecking this place!
Washu: Come on, Husky, stay away from Simon for now, because he’s got a torch and he’s burning the hammocks!
Husky: Arf!
Simon: I’ll be finished with this in just a moment, sorry about it.
Washu: Oh, no problem. I just don’t want to get hurt, or my dog.
J.B., Yoshi: I’m starting to think that we’re going to have an even easier time, seeing that Roy was so nice to us.
Vapor: I’ll put out the campfire!
Bowser 52589: Wait! First toss this “Camp Koopa” sign in there!
Lord Seth: We might as well wreck up some other stuff too! Let’s get some branches and put them all over the place, making this place a great mess!
David Lewis, Business Guy: We should mess it up as much as possible, or else the Koopas will have an easy time.
Dane Petersen: It’s starting to rain. Let’s go!
The Troopa Mass members hop into the pipe, going to the immunity challenge.
Immunity Challenge
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome, everyone! I hope you don’t mind the rain, as this is the first time I get to see you all together like this, and I must say you look all perfectly nourished and like you’ve been in hotel suites, not the forest of an old, ruined theme park!
Lemmy: Uh, you could say that...
Crazy Packers Fan: Maybe that’s because we set up your camps for you beforehand, because you forgot your supplies at the ship. Using warp pipes, we hurried there, plus we knew you’d have trouble getting there. I’ve got to give the Koopalings a hand for this. Why don’t you thank them too?
Both masses are silent.
Ludwig: Well, don’t everyone thank us at once!
Crazy Packers Fan: They’re probably tired. Anyway, back to the players. First, I must give you some things. Each of you has your own Bob-omb, just like your torch or staff or stick or whatever other Survivors had in the past. They each have a cheesy picture of you on one side and your name underneath it. Troopas get red ones, Koopas get black ones. Wendy and Iggy here will pass them out to you.
Wendy passes out the red Bob-ombs to the Troopas, while Iggy passes out the black Bob-ombs to the Koopas. Faces of embarrassment and disgust appear on the players’ faces as they see their own Bob-ombs.
Crazy Packers Fan: In Survivor, fire means death. If you are voted out, your Bob-omb gets lit, and it explodes within seconds. Your Bob-omb represents your life here on the island. Once it has exploded, you are out, and you’ll be warped out of here.
Lemmy: Hey, aren’t you supposed to say this at the Mass Massacre?
Crazy Packers Fan: I’m the host this time. The rules are different.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: After this game, things will be different for that Crazy one, too!
Meanwhile, a Troopa walks up to Bowser and bumps into him, but Bowser kicks him away.
Bowser: Get out of here, Troopa!
Crazy Packers Fan: Do you mind, Bowser?
Bowser: Sorry, but I’m supposed to do that.
Crazy Packers Fan (ignoring Bowser): For now, you players just set those Bob-ombs down. Now, as for the challenge, we’ll be going through different parts of the ruined Sub-con Park, a place Wart tried to build but failed. He had a whole bunch of Mario and Koopaling clones try it out, but most of them got eaten when he did. Then he had to run off and vacated this place. These are also tests of your knowledge of Sub-con and your skills with Super Mario Bros. 2. We’re very much linked to the Mario world, after all.
Misty: Yeah, yeah.
Lord Seth: Cut the chat and tell us the challenge!
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, Wart cloned a Phanto to create two huge ones that live in these two jars you see here. Inside the jars are humongous, heavy keys, one in each jar. You’ll have to grab the key and carry it to your finish line. The first team who gets the key across the finish line, in any way whatsoever, wins the immunity game!
Bowser 52589: Immunity game?
Crazy Packers Fan: Yeah, it’s my “game of the week”. This week, it’s Mario Kart 64.
Lemmy: Hey, I thought you hated Survivor!
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, I, um, uh, I- never mind that question!
Vapor: This contest sounds easy enough.
Crazy Packers Fan: I think it is. But there is one catch to this contest: if the Phanto touches you, besides the shock that he gives you, you’ll also be out of the immunity contest. Not your whole team, just you yourself. Plus, those keys are very big and hefty...
Videogamerpat: We’re ready!
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay! Survivors ready! Go!
The two teams take off for the jars. Videogamerpat is the first inside the jar for the Koopas, while Bowser 52589 leads the way for the Troopas.
Videogamerpat: Yikes! That’s one big Phanto!
The rest of the Koopas fall on top of Videogamerpat.
Videogamerpat: Hey, watch yourself next time!
Lemmy: Sorry about that. Come on, let’s get the key!
It takes the combined efforts of Videogamerpat, Lemmy, Koshi, Guest256, and Rachelle just to lift the key.
Phanto: That’s it for you!
The extra large Phanto takes off, then starts to come back at the Koopas. The Koopas have to immediately drop the key.
Videogamerpat: Let’s take shifts! Arim, Misty, King 27! You three help Lemmy and I lift the key again!
The five players lift the key.
Arim: Give us a hand... or a foot! We need to climb out of this jar!
The other three players lift the five Koopa Mass members holding the key out of the jar. They have to immediately drop the key as the big Phanto zooms by. Koshi, Guest256, and Rachelle jump out of the jar, running to try to lift up the key again. Meanwhile, in the Troopa jar...
Simon: Bowser 52589, you and I should lift up this key, since your strength is enough to lift it yourself, but I’ll help just in case you need help lifting it.
Simon and Bowser 52589 lift the key up.
Phanto: That’s it for you!
The extra large Phanto takes off, then starts to come back at the Troopas. Instead of dropping the key, Simon and Bowser 52589 jump out of the jar. While they do, their other scrambling teammates all get hit by the Phanto as he flies by, giving them all a light shock and disqualifing them from the rest of the contest. Meanwhile...
Rachelle: We should get the key lifted up, then give it to one member to hold, because it is harder to lift than it is to hold. Once one of us holds up the key, he or she can keep tossing it to a different team member, who then immediately tosses it to another one. We’ll have to stand pretty close together, but that way we don’t really have to hold the key for more than a split-second!
Guest256: That may work. I’ll try it!
Guest256, Lemmy, Arim, Koshi, and Rachelle all lift up the key. Then they hand the key to Guest256. He struggles to hold it, but eventually is able to hold it. He then passes it to Lemmy, who starts the chain of tossing the key. The Phanto zooms by, but with its sixth sense, its “key” sense, getting turned on and off, it can’t chase anyone well enough. Eventually, though, it does catch King 27, shocking him lightly and knocking him out of the challenge. Meanwhile...
Bowser 52589: Come on, if we’re fast enough, we can just avoid the Phanto on foot!
Bowser 52589 and Simon start running toward the finish line. Great effort by those two alone seems to be beating team effort, until...
Rachelle: Here’s a better idea. You six pick up the key, then, with all your might, heave it into the air as far as you can. If you can get enough distance with it, I’ll catch it and crawl across the finish line.
Misty: This has little chance of working...
Lemmy: We’ve got to do something fast, or we’ll lose! Let’s pick up the key and just try it.
The Koopa Mass picks up the key, then tries tossing it as far as they possibly can. Meanwhile...
Simon: I can’t hold it anymore! You take it, 52589!
Bowser 52589: I will, easily!
Bowser 52589 is nearing the finish line when the key flies to Rachelle, who is standing very near the finish line. She dives for the key, grabs it, and pulls it over the finish line before collapsing.
Crazy Packers Fan: Koopa Mass wins immunity!
The Koopa Mass members, including an estatic Rachelle and a relieved King 27, start to celebrate. Meanwhile, the Troopa Mass members besides Simon and Bowser 52589 climb out of the jar and shake their heads in defeat, seeing Crazy Packers Fan handing Rachelle a copy of Mario Kart 64.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now, as for the little mix-up...
Misty: Mix-up?
Crazy Packers Fan: Yes, the mix-up about the camp locations. The Koopalings, Bowser, Mr. Game & Watch, and I talked it over, and we decided that since you’re so used to your camp now, why change it? In the past, I may have been cruel to you, but this time, no cruelty from me. You can keep your old camps!
All Sixteen Players: NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Uh, you can, um, head back to your camps through the pipes, which have had the names switched, due to your small, or maybe big, mix-up. I can’t figure out why all the “no”-ing. Anyway, everyone grab your Bob-ombs, and I’ll see you Troopa Mass members at Mass Massacre tonight. Mr. Game & Watch will show you how to get there when it is time, which will only be in about an hour, as it is late evening now!
Both teams trudge into the pipes, heading toward their ruined camps.
Koopa Mass
Guest256: So, whose stupid idea was it to wreck the camp?
Arim: Yeah, tell me!
Rachelle: Well, I hate to tell you this, but you two suggested it!
Guest256: Oh... yeah.
Arim: It was a good idea, you have to admit, if that Packer wasn’t so cruel!
Videogamerpat: He has to have known we did this! If not, he wouldn’t have said that!
Lemmy: I don’t think we would have been better off at the other camp.
Misty: Why not?
Lemmy: That Troopa Mass started screaming and yelling too. I can bet they were at our camp, somehow, and they did the same thing we did! Everyone’s thinking too much about strategy, and now it’s hurting us more than helping us.
King 27: What do we do now?
Koshi: We’ve got to build new shelter, and hunt for food- I guess.
Rachelle: We lost everything, but at least we found this- Mario Kart 64.
Guest256: That’s ALL we have.
Arim: Oh boy. Look at all these Cobrats slithering around, and those Pansers too! They’re huge!
Videogamerpat: If this rain would only stop!
Misty: Those trees and bushes still have smoke coming from them. Yuk!
Lemmy: Well, cover yourself with branches, the best you can, just to avoid getting completely wet during the night.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: This is going to be a real test of survival now- although more because we brought it on ourselves than because of the producers.
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth: This is horrible!
Vapor: I can’t argue, but it’s our own fault.
Lord Seth: I know.
Stupid Cameraman: Hey, guys! Talk to me now! You always have to say something before the Mass Massacre if you’re going there!
Lord Seth: Okay, okay. You first, Bowser 52589!
Bowser 52589, Emperor of Virtex: It’s almost time for that Mass Massacre, and I’m still thinking about all that food we could be having in our hammocks, but instead we’re sitting in puddles of mud with no campfire and no food.
Simon, Interviewer: Is it time to vote somebody off already? It still feels like we just got here. I’ll have to think harder about my vote, then.
David Lewis, Business Guy: These hardships have to happen, as this is Survivor. It’s too bad they have happened like this!
Dane Petersen, Chao Babysitter: This was the worst time to have to come back here and see what we did to our own camp, as now our minds aren’t focused on the vote tonight.
J.B., Yoshi: Voting already is very difficult. I do have the feeling that alliances have been formed already.
Washu, Gatherer: Uh, I don’t really have much to say right now. Uh, I hope I don’t get voted off!
Husky: Arf!
Vapor, Moronic Genius: I really don’t like thinking about this whole voting process, so this is probably the dumbest and most boring time so far for me.
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: I’m going to really have to think about who I want to keep and who I want to go.
Mr. Game & Watch walks into the camp.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep, beep, beep, beep!
Washu: I love that Mr. Game & Watch!
Mr. Game & Watch: BEEP!
Lord Seth: Good thing I took Game & Watch language lessons last week. I don’t know why I did, but anyway, Mr. Game & Watch says it’s time for the Mass Massacre, and he says “I love you too” to Washu.
Washu: What a nice guy!
Lord Seth: Uh, how do we get there?
Mr. Game & Watch: BEEP beep beep, beep beep.
Lord Seth: He will pour out a huge potion, and we must enter the gigantic door into... Sub-space?! Great, this Mass Massacre must be held in Sub-space!
Mr. Game & Watch pours out the huge potion and a gigantic door appears.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep BEEP!!!
Lord Seth: That’s an idiomatic expression, but I think he’s saying “this way”.
Vapor: Come on, grab your Bob-ombs, and let’s go!
The Troopa Mass members grab their Bob-ombs and enter the door into Sub-space.
Mass Massacre
The Troopa Mass members find themselves at their camp, on the very spot the door was sitting, but with everything backwards. Crazy Packers Fan is sitting on a chair in the middle of their ruined camp, with a jar next to him, and there is also a little wishing well about 25 feet away. They all sit down.
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome here to Mass Massacre! I know this may seem like a dream, but this is Mass Massacre for Survivor 3, here in Sub-space!
J.B.: I wish someone could wake me up!
Crazy Packers Fan: That wishing well over there is where you will place your votes, and this jar will be your warp out of here if you get voted off. Whoever gets voted off tonight will have to exit through here, after I light their Bob-omb with a lighter I have in my pocket. Of course, these Bob-ombs do not cause any harmful explosions, but they do explode quickly, disappearing into nothing and making a loud noise. So, how has it been these first three days together?
Lord Seth: It’s been easy up until that immunity challenge. Ever since then, it’s seemed like the world’s turned upside-down.
Crazy Packers Fan: How about the teamwork thing?
Bowser 52589: Well, I have to say there are a few I’ve really gotten along well with.
Simon: I’ve got to agree. After all, there can’t be an eight-member alliance.
Crazy Packers Fan: Very true. How about the enemies, as in the Sub-con Park ones?
David Lewis: They’ve been annoying, but not that difficult to fend off.
J.B.: They were more difficult to get rid of at first, but as time went on, they were much easier to get rid of. I think that we can knock off any Sub-con creature.
Crazy Packers Fan: Is that so? I’ll remember that for the next three days.
Lord Seth: Remember, above all, DO NOT EVER TELL DR. PACKER WE’RE HAVING AN EASY TIME!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Some spite against me? Ah, I expect it. Who doesn't want to vote off the host? Anyway, as I love to say- it's time to vote. If you choose to forfeit your vote then put a X on your piece of paper and I will pick a random player for your vote.
A Ludwig organ rendition of the Tribal Council theme starts to play and the players go up to vote, one by one.
Bowser 52589 goes to vote.
Dane Petersen goes to vote.
David Lewis goes to vote.
J.B. goes to vote.
J.B.: I vote for Lord Seth because he is a lord.
Lord Seth goes to vote.
Lord Seth: Just before I place my first vote, I'd like to apologize in advance if I end up voting off any of my friends. You'd probably end up doing the same, so don't get mad at me, it's just over a few Koopaling votes. But, I don't want to vote for anyone I know yet, so J.B.'s off, whoever he is. And what do those initials stand for anyway?
Simon goes to vote.
Simon: I have decided to vote off J.B. My reason: I am allied with some others and I have never seen a submission in Lemmy's Land done by him, making him pretty useless for gaining immunity.
Vapor goes to vote.
Washu, with Husky beside her, goes to vote.
Washu: Dane Petersen's my vote. Just a random thing, I guess. No good reasons.
Husky: Arf!
All eight Troopa Mass members sit down.
Crazy Packers Fan: I’ll go tally the votes.
Crazy Packers Fan somehow goes over to the wishing well, mixes around with the votes, grabs them, and comes back with them without any disaster happening.
Crazy Packers Fan: The first vote is... Dane Petersen.
The camera focuses in on Dane Petersen.
Crazy Packers Fan: The second vote... Lord Seth.
The camera goes over to Lord Seth.
Crazy Packers Fan: J.B.
The camera goes to J.B.- and this sentence is getting really annoying, stupid, and pointless.
Crazy Packers Fan: J.B.
The camera- you know.
Crazy Packers Fan: J.B. That’s three votes for J.B., one for Dane Petersen, and one for Lord Seth, with only three votes to go. The first person voted off Sub-con Park Island... J.B. The other votes don’t matter. You need to bring me your Bob-omb, J.B.
J.B. gets up and gives Crazy Packers Fan his Bob-omb. Crazy Packers Fan pulls out a lighter and lights the Bob-omb.
Crazy Packers Fan: J.B.... the mass has spoken.
BOOM!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Jump in the jar, J.B.
J.B. does so, and he is warped into an Interview room.
Crazy Packers Fan: I’ll be kind enough to let the one voted off each week ask a question in my Interview the next week. Until then... you can grab your Bob-ombs, exit back through the door, and head back to reality.
The seven remaining Troopa Mass members enter the door, and all of the stuff they saw is gone, like Crazy Packers Fan, the jar, and the wishing well. Their camp is back to the way it normally is, and Mr. Game & Watch is waiting for them.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep!
Lord Seth: Goodbye too!
Vapor: We’re going to have to use these branches and leaves and bushes to guard ourselves from the rain tonight, so we can actually fall asleep. I wish the rain would just stop!
Washu: Me too... I don’t like that Mass Massacre thing!
Husky: *whine*
Dane Petersen: You’re telling me!
David Lewis: That Sub-space... very strange, no doubt.
Bowser 52589: Well, that vote says something.
Simon: I have something to say too... go to sleep, everyone!
In the Interview Room...
J.B., Yoshi: It was fun... DARN YOU BOWSER 52589!!! Man this stinks. Better go home.
Who voted for who?
Bowser 52589: J.B.
Dane Petersen: J.B.
David Lewis: X (vote goes to Simon)
J.B.: Lord Seth
Lord Seth: J.B.
Simon: J.B.
Vapor: J.B.
Washu: Dane Petersen