Lemmy: Did everyone get the bag of supplies?
Rachelle: Yes... I think.
Misty: I have it! And here’s the map to our camp, too.
Videogamerpat: Uh, why does that bag look like it has mulch inside it?
King 27: Look inside and find out.
The bag is completely full of mulch.
Guest256: What happened to our comfort items, food, and shelter?
Koshi: Someone stole them, and I know who, too.
Arim: Who?
Koshi: Look at the ship.
The Koopa Mass sees Crazy Packers Fan eating their food on the ship. He waves to them.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: When I get back from this place, I’m taking action against that guy!
Rachelle: Are you sure that map’s safe to follow?
Guest256: Well, we have two choices: follow the map and have whatever horrible thing CPF’s prepared happen to us, or get lost in this jungle on this remote island.
King 27: I say we get lost!
Koshi: No, the map’s a better choice. This place is probably too dangerous for him to have traps prepared, so let’s just follow it.
King 27: Okay...
The Koopa Mass follows the path on the map, going through quite a bit of jungle. Fifteen minutes later, they find themselves before a giant field of huge Shy Guys, with a small sign nearby.
Arim: This sign says: "Welcome to the Shy Guy exhibit here at Sub-con Park! Above all, do not cross the lines on the ground, as you will get shocked."
Videogamerpat: How do we get through, then?
Rachelle: I guess then go around the field. Let’s start off towards the left.
Misty: Uh, I don’t think we should go left. Look at all those huge Tweeters!
Lemmy: They’re weaker than any other enemy! See these clumps of grass? We have to make like the Marios and take out the Tweeters with vegetables.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: I have a feeling that Crazy guy made this place a test of our Sub-con knowledge, but I know all about it.
Stupid Cameraman: Why?
Guest256, Spiky Rock: Because I’m a Porcupo who just so happens to be from Sub-con, that’s why! At least your name fits you well.
Guest256 picks up a vegetable and tosses it at the Tweeter. The Tweeter keels over.
Guest256: See how easy that was? Now try it!
Misty reaches for a clump of grass, but she pulls out a Bob-omb.
Misty: This isn’t a vegetable!
Misty tosses away the Bob-omb just before it explodes.
Misty: Good thing no one got hurt. Hey, where’s everyone else?
The Bob-omb explosion caused the ground to open up, and the rest of the mass members fell into the hole that was opened.
Koshi: That Bob-omb has more power than you think! Aim towards the Tweeter next time.
Misty: Oops. Sorry!
Lemmy: It’s okay. Now wait for us to get out of here!
A few minutes later...
Rachelle: Well, we survived that trap. Too bad the vegetables were all blown up and two Tweeters are still there.
Videogamerpat: Why don’t we just jump on a Tweeter’s back and let it carry us? Tweeters are stupid, and they won’t notice us.
Guest256: I hope you’re right, because if you’re wrong, we’ll be Tweeter chow!
Arim: I’ll try it first!
Arim runs toward the large Tweeter and jumps on its back. It starts to hop away in a hurry, heading back towards the shore.
Lemmy: Get off that thing and come back here!
Arim: I can’t! He’s moving too fast!
King 27, Army Leader: I really don’t feel like chasing after that guy.
Misty: Come on, we’ve got to rescue him!
Videogamerpat: At this rate, we’ll never get to camp!
Rachelle, Co-Webmaster (not of Lemmy’s Land, just to set the record straight for any nitpickers out there): I have a feeling we don’t even want to get to camp, seeing that we’ve already got caught in quite a few traps. They’ll probably be another one waiting there.
The Koopa Mass chases after the runaway titanic Tweeter, going back through the jungle they just made it through.
Lemmy: I’m telling you, just jump off!
Arim: Okay, but if anything happens...
Arim jumps off the Tweeter, who suddenly turns around and starts chasing the Koopa Mass.
Arim: ... it’s all your fault! Run!
Somehow the Tweeter has picked up even more speed than before, and it is chomping madly, hoping to eat one of the mass members. The Koopa Mass has turned around and is running the opposite direction, until...
Koshi: Is that a gigantic Ostro with a super-sized Shy Guy I see on top?
King 27: I don’t care! Keep running!
Lemmy: I’d rather run from a Tweeter than an Ostro! Ostros are faster and much more dangerous!
Rachelle: Stop arguing and just run!
Misty: Which way?
Guest256: Follow the map!
Misty: Map? Uh oh... I think I lost it back when I picked up the Bob-omb.
Videogamerpat: It won’t matter anyway. I’d rather just survive!
The Koopa Mass runs as fast as possible, trying to avoid the running Ostro and the hopping Tweeter. Eventually, they lose the Tweeter, and Guest256 finds a giant vegetable and uses it to trip up the Ostro. Misty then hits the Shy Guy with a large vegetable, causing it to keel over. The eight players finally stop to take a breather.
Arim: Are we at camp yet?
Rachelle: No, but the ship’s about 100 feet away!
Arim: So we’ve gone practically nowhere?
Rachelle: You could say that.
Arim, Goomba-Hater: If this madness doesn’t end soon, there won’t be any voting, any challenges, or any of us, either!
Misty: Hey, what does that sign over there read?
Guest256: I’ll go read it.
Guest256 walks over to the sign.
Guest256: It says: "Follow this short path to camp!" Hey, this is the way to our camp! Come on, let’s go!
Lemmy: I hope this sign’s not a trap.
The eight Koopa Mass members follow the short path through some more jungle, then onto a shaky bridge with tremendous Trouters jumping up right beside them.
Misty: I hope those things can’t attack us!
Videogamerpat: Don’t worry! Trouters are harmless creatures!
Guest256: Yeah, really. They’re the one living organism in all of Sub-con that won’t do anything bad to you.
A tremendous Trouter splashes up underneath the bridge and hits it, making it snap.
Misty: RUN!!!
With some fast running, not to mention some luck, the Koopa Mass members arrive at their camp at last.
Rachelle: We’re here!
Lemmy: Yeah, but look at the sign!
Koshi: Just what I wanted to see: "Welcome to Camp Troopa!"
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth: Are you sure we’re going the right way?
David Lewis: Trust me, I’m the one with the map. I tell you, everything’s all right!
Dane Petersen: I don’t think so.
David Lewis: Why not?
Dane Petersen: Look at that bunch of giant Porcupos over there!
Washu: And look at how they’re coming this way, in a hurry!
Bowser 52589, Emperor of Virtex: Why do I have the feeling that we’re going to be running all over the place in a matter of seconds?
Simon: Run!
The Troopa Mass members take off running, trying to avoid being eaten by overgrown porcupines. Vapor sees a blade of grass, then picks it up and finds a vegetable. He throws the vegetable at a Porcupo, knocking it out.
Vapor: Too bad that only hurt one Porcupo. Keep going!
J.B., Yoshi: I think I’d keep going whether he said that or not. Which begs the question: How am I talking to the camera and running away frantically at the same time?
The Troopa Mass members find a path behind some trees, which shields them from the vision of the Porcupos.
Lord Seth: We’re not quite safe now, but it’s better than before.
Vapor: I don’t like the looks of this place.
Bowser 52589: A gigantic field of Shy Guys is dead ahead!
Simon: What’s this sign? It says: "Welcome to the Shy Guy exhibit here at Sub-con Park! Above all, do not cross the lines on the ground, as you will get shocked." Well, I guess we’ve got to go around it.
David Lewis: Yeah, maybe we should. Did someone bring the map I left behind?
The Troopa Mass falls silent.
David Lewis: As I thought.
Dane Petersen: It looks like there’s a path over there past that Tweeter. Let’s follow it.
The Troopa Mass starts to follow the path, sneaking by the Tweeter and going on a long road past jars on the sides of the path, with Cobrats jumping up and spitting their nightmare bullets at them.
J.B.: I’m not liking these bullets.
Washu: They’re really not that hard to avoid... oops, I shouldn’t have said that! Anytime someone speaks too soon, they get hit by whatever they said they wouldn’t get hit by.
Fortunately for her, Washu doesn’t get hit as she makes it by the Cobrats and their jars.
Lord Seth: Hey! Who brought the bag of supplies?
Simon: Supplies?
Lord Seth: You know, the food, shelter, and comfort items?
Washu: I have my comfort item right here!
Husky: Arf!
Washu: Well, maybe not comfort...
Lord Seth: Any others?
Vapor: Oops... I left them on the ship. I’m sorry. I thought those belonged to the other team.
Lord Seth: Argh! Now what will we do?
Dane Petersen: Just keep following the path to the camp!
The eight Troopa Mass members arrive at a campsite, at last. Some of them start to celebrate, but finally Washu reads...
Washu: Welcome to Camp Koopa?! Oh no!
Koopa Mass
The shocked and surprised Koopa Mass members are in a grassy area, with trees completely surrounding it. There are hammocks tied to trees, a campfire burning, and real food sitting on tables. It is now late evening.
Guest256: Who cares if this is their camp? Let’s just relax.
Arim: Yeah, this is great!
Lemmy: Do you think the Troopas might have been here but then left for some reason?
Misty: Who knows? I don’t care.
Rachelle: Well, really, what are they going to do to us when they come back? They’ll just say, "Hey, this is our camp!", and we’ll just take off, looking for ours.
Lemmy: Very true. It’s pretty late, and I’m tired. Let’s just go to sleep and then get kicked out later.
Koshi: Good idea.
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth: Look at all the stuff that’s here! Hammocks, a campfire, food! This Koopa Mass must have left their stuff here and went off somewhere!
Dane Petersen: Well, I’m too tired to go tell the Koopa Mass we’re visiting. I’m going to bed.
Vapor: We might as well enjoy ourselves here, and then wait for the members of the Koopa Mass to come over here and kick us out. For now, we might as well use up their supplies so they do worse in the challenge and we can beat them!
Simon, Interviewer: I like the way this Vapor guy thinks.
Bowser 52589: Good night!
Day 2
Koopa Mass
Lemmy: Good morning- hey, wait a minute! We’re still here!
Misty: Yeah, I know. We haven’t been kicked out yet.
Koshi, Fruit Freak: This doesn’t quite make sense. We seemed to be the most incompetent bunch of losers alive, yet we beat the other mass to their camp! We must not be that bad after all. Maybe this proves us to be the stronger mass already!
Arim: Yeah, why even worry that they’re coming to get us? If they’re stupid enough to not be able to find this easy-to-find camp, then they don’t belong in this game!
Rachelle: The best thing about this place is-
All of a sudden, a bunch of large Snifits run by, shooting bullets at the mass members.
King 27: This isn’t going to exactly be Castle Koopa, either. We’re going to have to destroy these stupid Sub-con creatures while we relax here.
Guest256: Are you calling Sub-conians stupid?
King 27: Not all of them, just most of them.
Guest256: I don’t appreciate that remark!
Arim: Take it easy, Guest. Wait, should I call you Guest256, or just-
Guest256: I’m not too happy that my kind is being insulted. I wish Panser were here! He’d set things straight!
Lemmy: All right, enough of this arguing.
King 27’s right, we have to destroy some of these Sub-con
characters, but not you, Guest.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: I see that this isn’t exactly going to be buddy-buddy in this mass, which means I’m going to have to take action...
Arim: Let’s eat first. After all, we don’t want to let those Troopa guys get their food without any work.
Misty: What kind of food is there?
Rachelle: Practically anything you could imagine.
Misty: Any rice?
Rachelle: Everything but rice.
Misty, Movie-Quoter: I’m starting to think that this Survivor thing is completely backwards. We’re in the wrong camp, we have all the food and shelter we could have possibly wanted, and we don’t even have to eat rice!
An army of large Ninjis starts running towards the camp.
Lemmy: There won’t be any time to eat, because here comes a bunch of Ninjis!
Arim: There are quite a few vegetables on this table. Just use them!
The Koopa Mass members fight off the Ninjis with the veggies, then start to eat. And drink. And eat. And eat some more. In fact, they eat almost all the food.
Videogamerpat: That'll really hurt the other team!
Rachelle: You know, aren’t you beginning to think this is our camp, and not theirs?
Koshi: The sign most definitely says “Camp Troopa”. Hey, hand me another pineapple!
Misty (handing Koshi the pineapple): I’m wondering why it’s been so easy defeating these ene- mmmph! Mmph!
Guest256 (covering Misty’s mouth): I know that Packers guy well enough to know that if he knows we’re having an easy time, he’ll send over a whole bunch of Triclydes to bother us!
As if on cue, five tremendous Triclydes start to slither towards the camp.
King 27: Why did you have to say that?
Guest256: Don’t just sit there, pick up some Mushroom Blocks and let that guy have it!
Koshi: Uh, we don’t have any Mushroom Blocks.
Guest256: We have mushrooms, don’t we? Use those!
Lemmy: Uh, I’m not sure-
Guest256: Hey, I’m only trying to save us from getting burnt to death!
The Koopa Mass members start tossing mushrooms from their pile of food at the Triclydes. Somehow, the mushrooms poison the Triclydes, causing them to fall over on the spot.
Arim: Amazing!
Guest256: Now let’s all keep quiet so none of these creatures come back!
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth: Wow! Those Koopa Mass guys still aren’t here yet! We can enjoy ourselves here as long as we want, I guess!
Vapor: Yeah, but you’ve got to wonder how long we’ll last here without getting caught.
Bowser 52589: Stop worrying and let me enjoy this food! We’ve got almost everything you could imagine here!
Simon: Yeah, why even worry that they’re coming to get us? If they’re so stupid enough to not be able to find this easy-to-find camp, then they don’t belong in this game!
Washu: Very true. Right now, let’s just relax and worry about them later!
David Lewis, Business Guy: These people in this mass are thinking we are going to have a cakewalk, when I’m thinking about trying to figure out a way to make sure that other team has it bad.
David Lewis: Don’t you guys think we should set traps or something, making it so they can’t come back here?
Dane Petersen: Why waste our own time? Let them come to us.
J.B.: I agree.
All of a sudden, a bunch of big Beezos fly by.
Simon: Do you have the feeling those things are about to attack us?
J.B.: Why do you think that?
Simon: Oh, just from the fact one of them just stole our steak! It stole our steak! I was just about to eat that!
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: Due to the fact that Mr. Packer Fan refuses to let me show off my true powers in any of his contests due to the fact that I’ll be disqualified, or the fact that he makes them actually hurt me instead of help me, like in the Starman case, I can’t use my usual lightning bolts to ruin those Beezos’ day. I’ve got to actually do it the way everyone else does it! How cheap!
Lord Seth: Grab some vegetables! Let’s ruin those Beezos’ day!
Simon grabs a vegetable in anger and slams a Beezo with it. It falls to the ground. Simon then goes over and jumps on top of it, then kicks it into the fire.
Vapor: A little aggravated, are we?
Simon: Well, I don’t know about you, but I am!
The other Beezos, seeing the fate of their fallen friend, buzz off.
Bowser 52589: Good job! Of course, I was just about to do the same thing myself.
Dane Petersen, Chao Babysitter: Of course.
Koopa Mass
Lemmy, Clown Prince: I’ve never experienced Survivor from this form before, being the contestant and not the annoyingly obnoxious host. I’m at the mercy of this Crazy Fan guy, and I’m not really liking it much. After all, I don’t know when a Sub-con enemy will just pop up! The other thing I don’t understand is this wrong camp thing. Surely somebody’s going to catch us!
Misty: I’m starting to think nobody’s going to catch us, what about you guys?
Suddenly, Bowser appears, coming from the same path the mass members came through.
Bowser: I’ll be one of the many annoying personalities who gives you messages during your time here.
Lemmy: Who else?
Bowser: Roy, Larry, and Mr. Game & Watch will make appearances, as will the Mario Madness Champ!
Lemmy: That’s wonderful. Now what’s the news?
Bowser: Let me read this paper: Say this to Troopa Mass. Don’t mess it up, like you normally do. Just read it and get the heck out of there. From Ice Land to Dark Land to Sub-con to Kanto, There’s no one who behaves quite like the Phanto. The difference with this one is that he is obese, And from he and his brother you must steal keys. That’s it. Now leave the place!
Arim: You want us to go?
Bowser: No, that’s on the paper, telling me to leave. See you, Troopa Mass! Wait a minute... Lemmy, aren’t you in Koopa Mass? You told me you were!
Lemmy: Yeah, I am, and so are the rest of us.
Bowser: So you’re in the wrong camp, eh? Well, I’ll have to tell Crazy Packers man all about this. I’ll meet you here early tomorrow to show you the way to the challenge. See ya!
Bowser leaves.
Lemmy: I knew it! I knew it! We’re caught already!
Guest256: Well, here’s what we do: before we leave here for the immunity challenge, we torch everything.
King 27: Why?
Guest256: Crazy guy will now know that we’re in the wrong camp, and he’ll make us go to our original camp. He’ll also make that other team, the Troopa team, come over here and take our place, because they probably are already at the immunity challenge, just waiting for us tomorrow.
Arim: I get it. We don’t want to let them have anything good, so we burn their hammocks, eat all of their food and drink all of the juice and pop, then save all of the water so we can pour it on the fire and put it out. That way, their camp will be completely sabotaged when they return!
Koshi: Great idea!
Misty, Movie-Quoter: When it comes to eating all those pieces of food, the mass should just “leave them to me”!
Stupid Cameraman: What movie character said that?
Misty, Movie-Quoter: Darth Vader, of course! You should know that!
Stupid Cameraman: Should I?
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: Most of the time, I feel alone in these big decisions like this, but for once, I completely agree with them. This is the perfect way to play the game and use our strategic skills to the max!
Rachelle: I can’t argue with you, even though it’s kind of mean.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: To win at Survivor, you’ve got to play the game, and this is certainly playing it well! If the other team can’t sleep, eat, drink, or relax, they’re going to be nervous, uptight, weak, and unable to win any immunity challenges! I’m liking the way these guys think.
King 27: I guess this is what we’ve got to do to them...
Troopa Mass
Vapor: I’m starting to think those Koopas aren’t ever coming.
Washu: Yeah, I agree. We Troopas are tops!
Husky: Arf!
Lord Seth: Isn’t there supposed to be an extremely annoying and stupid guy who tells us of an immunity challenge?
Morton walks into the camp.
David Lewis: You’re right, here’s an extremely annoying and stupid guy!
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: This is what is known as an “awkward moment”. Morton’s one of my two favorites, and certainly NOT extremely annoying and stupid.
Morton: Hello, hi, greetings, salutations, how’s it going, what’s up, how are you, good morning, como estás, hola, buenos dias, good eeeeevening-
Bowser 52589: Why are you here?
Morton: To tell you all about the wonderful, enormously fun, great, immunity challenge, contest, thing! Here’s a poem, lyric, rhyme, song-
Dane Petersen: JUST SAY IT!!! Thank you.
Morton: Here it goes:
From Ice Land to Dark Land to Johto
to Kanto,
There’s no one who behaves quite like
the Phanto.
The difference with this one is that
he is obese,
And from he and his brother you must
steal keys.
That’s all of this poem. I have to go, leave, exit, withdraw, retreat, vacate-
David Lewis: GO!!! Thank you.
Morton leaves, sees the sign clearly marked “Koopa Camp”, then comes back immediately.
Morton: Wait! Lord Seth says he’s in Troopa Mass, and you’re in Koopa Camp! I’m going to have to tell, speak, say, tattle on you. Goodbye, so long, see ya-
Simon: GO!!! Thank you.
Morton finally leaves for real.
Vapor: Well, we’re going to be caught by Crazy Packers Fan. We might as well start moving to the other camp, or try to find it, at least.
Washu, Gatherer: Just when I was starting to enjoy myself here, too!
Lord Seth: Here’s a better idea. Let’s wait for them to kick us out, and if they don’t do it before the immunity challenge, then we know we’re going to have to move, so we might as well just ruin their camp for the Koopa Mass, because they’ll have to come here. I can bet that mass is at the immunity challenge just waiting for us until tomorrow, but since they’re coming here, why let them have a safe haven? Let’s wreck it!
Bowser 52589: Great idea! We’ll torch all the hammocks, eat all the food and drink the drinks, and put out that fire! We’ll try to mess this place up as much as possible for those stupid Koopas!
Vapor, Moronic Genius: I’m really liking the way those two think. I completely agree with their decision.
Simon: All in favor say I!
David Lewis: I think it’s “aye”.
Simon: It doesn’t matter. After all, who’s reading this text?
After eight “aye”s, the Troopas, or Troopa Mass Members, or Troopa Tribe Members, or whatever you want to call them, are all in agreement about this, and they are ready to wreck the camp- but not quite yet.
J.B.: Let’s party!
Koopa Mass
Lemmy: That’s practically all I can possibly eat. I don’t see how the rest of you can eat so much!
Misty: We can’t! But in the meantime, we might as well stuff ourselves so that we don’t have to eat as much later!
Arim: Misty’s right. After all, what if we run out of food then?
Rachelle: I say we don’t get too full now. We have to be able to run when it comes to the immunity challenge tomorrow!
Guest256: I guess so. After all, we’re not dumb like those Koopalings in that one Survivor who tried to lose!
King 27: I don’t think we’re supposed to bring up past Survivors here.
Guest256: Well, that’s too bad! What are they going to do to us?
Koshi: Nothing more than they have already, as we’ve been here for a day without them doing anything.
Videogamerpat: It looks like it’s late evening. I think it’s time to sleep.
Misty: Yeah, it’s our last night at this nice place. I hope our camp is just as good! I bet one of the Koopalings will lead us to it on the way back from the immunity challenge.
All of a sudden, a bunch of immense Pokeys start to walk into the camp.
Koshi, Fruit Freak: I don’t see how Yoshis eat those things. They look so nasty!
Videogamerpat: Do we have any vegetables left?
Guest256: Only one. Let me toss it!
Guest256 hits the lowest part of one
Pokey, which sends it flying into all the rest, creating a domino
effect. Eventually, they all fall,
leaving a bunch of huge cactuses sitting on the ground.
Arim: Cacti, not cactuses!
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth: It’s late now. Do you think we should go to bed yet?
Vapor: First let’s finish off most of this food, so we don’t have to gorge ourselves tomorrow before the immunity challenge.
Bowser 52589: The way I see it, let’s just get some sleep, eat normally tomorrow, take some with us to the immunity challenge if necessary, then win that challenge and find our new camp, which we’ll find by one of those Koopalings leading us to it after the immunity challenge.
Simon: Good idea! Now go to sleep!
Vapor: Okay.