Videogamerpat: Where am I?
Guest256: On the island with the rest of us, of course. You haven't been voted off yet, so you're still here.
Videogamerpat: No, I don't think we're on the island anymore.
Guest256: What are you talking about? Go back to... what the?
Arim: Is it me, or are we on a boat?
Lemmy: We're on a boat all right, and I have no idea how we got here. It's still just beginning to get bright, so I assume this is the early morning.
Koshi: This is a pretty strange view I'm seeing.
Rachelle: This is probably some type of joke.
Vapor: Or challenge... you never know.
Videogamerpat: Is that Bowser I see steering this boat?
Guest256: If it is, we're doomed.
Arim: It's Bowser all right, and he's wearing some kind of stupid hat.
Guest256: That's not a hat, that's Koshi!
Koshi: I'm on top of Bowser? I guess I am. How did this happen?
Arim: I don't like the way things are going. It's been bad enough here in Sub-con with all these strange, huge creatures and Subspace, but this is ridiculous!
Koshi: Bowser... uh, where are you taking us?
Bowser: Huh? Oh, it's you. I'm taking everyone to the other side of this island, the side we originally meant to put you guys. Over there, there are so many Sub-con creatures, you'll have a hard time seeing trees and grass, because they're so huge and they're slowly eating everything.
Koshi: In other words, we're going to
be threatened by tons of these Sub-conians, they'll chase us around,
eat up time, then we'll vote Vapor
off and the episode will be over?
Bowser: You forgot the immunity challenge in between.
Koshi: Who cares about immunity? That won't matter.
Bowser: Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Suppose? What am I saying? This Sub-con place is messing up my
vocabulary. I can't use such big words
like "suppose"!
Koshi: Are we in Sub-con, or just this Sub-con Park Island?
Bowser: Let's just call it Sub-con to be safe.
Koshi: How did you get us on this ship?
Bowser: I don't know how I got on the ship! I woke up, and Roy was telling me that I'd get paid if I drove this ship to the other side of the island, then told me about that other side of the island, and all the creatures and stuff. Then, all of you guys woke up!
Koshi: It must be pretty hard to drive this ship.
Bowser: It is, I'll tell you! That "auto-captain" button helps out a lot, but I'm still trying to figure out the controls.
Koshi: There are no controls here!
Bowser: That's what I'm trying to figure out!
Koshi: You make no sense, Bowser!
Bowser: I'm going to be making a lot of coins when I get to where I'm going, though!
Koshi: Sense, cents... oh, come on! Don't use a stupid pun!
Bowser: What's a pun?! I'm just saying what I'm supposed to be saying!
Koshi: Is it a bad thing that I'm getting so much air time? After all, Seth did two weeks ago and he got voted off, and the same went for 52589.
Bowser: Hey, I don't like this abbreviation thing! You didn't call them by their correct names!
Koshi: Who cares?
Bowser: I do! It's Mr. Seth and Dr. 52589, and don't forget it!
Koshi: Oops... sorry!
Bowser: Well, I guess I'll have to forgive you... but this was your last warning!
Koshi: Last warning? Come on, cameraman, go to someone else!
Bowser: You didn't call him by his correct name either!
Koshi: Stupid Cameraman!
Stupid Cameraman: That's my name!
Koshi: I know that, but would you please move that camera to someone else?
Stupid Cameraman: Sure!
Stupid Cameraman moves the camera so
it focuses on Bowser, and of course Koshi is sitting on Bowser's
head.
Bowser: So, read any good games lately?
Koshi: Read any... you're a moron, Bowser!
Bowser: Oh, yeah... that's right. Well, I've been working on my IQ lately. I think I've solved the secret.
Koshi (eyes rolled): What secret?
Bowser: If you run underneath me when I jump, you get killed!
Koshi: Actually, you would make it to the axe.
Bowser: Not if you run in circles! Ha ha ha!
Koshi: Ha ha ha. Wow, what a joke.
Bowser: That wasn't a joke, that was proving how smart I am!
Koshi: Go to college, Bowser!
Bowser: Sure! Now where's the "college" button?
Koshi: Not college... move that camera away from us!
Stupid Cameraman: Why? I don't like
the sound of that! This is a G-rated show! I don't want to leave you two
alone!
Koshi: I didn't mean that at all, and just shut up! Here, I'll take this camera...
Stupid Cameraman: Wait! Wait!
Guest256: Hey, what's going on over there?
Lemmy: Want to save Stupid Cameraman's life?
Arim: No, but I'll help him anyway.
Stupid Cameraman: Get off me! Ouch! Oof!
Koshi: Get that camera... out of here!
Sploosh! Gurgle gurgle... blub blub...
Trouter: My life is the worst...
Blub blub blub...
Stupid Cameraman (faintly): Give me a new camera! That one's sunk!
Blub blub-
Bowser: Okay, guys, we're almost there!
Koshi, Fruit Freak: Rats, he got another camera that was hanging from a tree.
Stupid Cameraman: You could say "you",
you know. That would be first-person speaking, not third-person
language.
Koshi, Fruit Freak: Shut up!
Bowser: Only two more minutes!
Koshi: Hey, I thought there were no trees here!
Bowser: Okay, so I exaggerated. But there won't be any once you get to Day 40!
Koshi: There won't be a Day 40! Oh, are you going to watch me again? Why don't I just put you in the-
Stupid Cameraman: YEOW!!!
Smack! SPLASH!!!
Stupid Cameraman: Help *blub* me! I'm *blub* drowning!
Gurgle...
Reward Challenge
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to today's reward challenge! I know it was very exciting getting here, with that fierce battle with the Shy Guys and Ostros, and the tense struggle to get across those bridges to make it here, and I'm sure all the fans out there watching this loved seeing that.
Lemmy: Oh, I'm sure they did. After all, we're doing all this crazy stuff just for them.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's too bad Stupid
Cameraman had to go to the hospital thanks to Koshi beating him up
and trying to drown him...
Koshi: It's okay. After all, this replacement Stupid Cameraman will do just fine.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now it's time for
one of you to win the reward that you'll receive once your stay on this
island is over... two things that will
give you transportation anytime, anywhere!
Lemmy: You mean cars?
Crazy Packers Fan: Similar to cars, but not exactly cars. You'll find out when you win them.
Rachelle: I wonder what they are... yeah, right. Anyone who knows Sub-con knows what the winner will win.
Crazy Packers Fan: So, in order to win,
you must grab eggs from the nearest Birdo, then toss them into your
own basket. The first one to get three
eggs in your basket wins immunity! Survivors ready, go!
Roy and Larry took the courtesy of not
even putting names on the baskets, or even near them, so no one
knows whose basket is whose. Even worse,
Rachelle just spits three eggs into the nearest basket to her while Crazy
Packers Fan is watching. This outright cheating is cause for...
Crazy Packers Fan: Victory!
Rachelle: Yahoo!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's very nice to
see you cheering on your teammate, Vapor, who has just won his own
personal Autobomb and Ostro!
Rachelle: Vapor won?!
Vapor: An Autobomb and Ostro?!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yep. Isn't that a great prize?
Rachelle: I'm glad I lost.
Vapor: Hey, Rachelle did the work!
Crazy Packers Fan: It was your basket!
Vapor: I'm standing over here, and Rachelle's way over there! How did I-
Crazy Packers Fan: Would you like me to quintuple your reward?
Vapor: I'll shut up now.
Vapor, Moronic Genius: Since I'm going to get voted off, I'd better not make a big scene like all of the other ones who got voted off. I don't want to have so many Ostros and Autobombs that I go crazy.
Lemmy: By the way, are we going to be
just staying here, where there's tons of these huge guys rumbling
around the place?
Crazy Packers Fan: Of course. Why not?
Lemmy: I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to be nice to us.
Crazy Packers Fan: You don't have to worry about that.
Bowser: Am I going to stay here too?
Crazy Packers Fan: If you want to, you may.
Bowser: Good!
Vapor: This will be a long three days...
Panser Pack
Videogamerpat: What was that about? Everyone knows our mass' name!
Guest256: Don't fight it, as it's not going to hurt anyone.
Bowser: I think this might make things fun...
Koshi: What are you doing now?
Bowser: Throwing a rock at one of those Ostros.
Koshi: You'd better not, for your own good! I bet if you and it got into a fight, it would completely destroy you!
Bowser: Want to make a bet?
Koshi: Sure, but what can we bet?
Bowser: The camera!
Koshi: No, I want more than the camera. How about the boat?
Bowser: The boat, then.
Koshi: This will be a no-holds-barred match between Bowser and Ostro. Are you ready? Go!
Bowser tosses the rock at an Ostro.
Of course, the rock totally misses the Ostro, instead knocking a Shy
Guy out of a tree onto the Ostro. The
Shy Guy points at Bowser, and the Ostro starts to charge at Bowser.
Bowser: Hey, that's no fair! The Ostro has a Shy Guy on his side!
Koshi: It's no-holds-barred, remember?
Bowser starts trying to dig a hole in the ground, then realizes it's no use, so he tries to run away, but that doesn't help either. Finally, the Ostro runs right over Bowser, and a whole bunch of other Ostros start chasing the rest of the players as well.
Koshi: Look what you did now, Bowser!
Lemmy: Just get on the boat and you'll be all right!
The players run to the boat, which is about 500 feet away. Bowser gets up slowly, then sees the other running players and starts to chase them too.
Arim: I'm a little sick of this constant running.
Eventually, all of the players jump on the boat, where Bowser presses the "auto-captain" button again.
Koshi: Where will we end up this time?
Bowser: I don't know, but probably somewhere we don't want to go.
Seven hours later, the players realize they've been going in circles, and they want to get off, but they're too far out into the water to get out.
Koshi: This is all your fault, again!
Bowser: Why don't you just go to sleep? You know things will get better once the next day begins.
Koshi: Okay, but don't be surprised if they aren't better!
Day 29
Panser Pack
Koshi: I was right.
Lemmy: Who cares about being right? We've got to get out of this boat before it sinks.
Bowser: Don't you think someone will come to help us?
Guest256: Probably not. How can we get across to the shore?
Arim: Maybe we could use someone as a raft... hmm...
Bowser: No! Don't look at me that way! No! You can't- mmmph! Help- mmph! Okay! Okay! I will!
Videogamerpat: I knew that Snifit mask would be good for something... I didn't think it would be for stuffing it down Bowser's throat, though.
Lemmy: One at a time, now!
Bowser: I don't want to do this, but get on my back and I'll swim across.
Koshi gets on first, and Bowser carries him halfway across, when suddenly...
Bowser: Hey, wait a minute! I don't know how to swim! Help! Blub!
Koshi: Oh, brother. I'll swim, then.
Koshi is only a few feet from shore, when...
Koshi: I just remembered that you can't swim in water in Sub-con. That doesn't mean... oh no! Blub blub...
Lemmy: This isn't looking good.
Arim: Yeah, we're sinking and those two sank as well.
Lemmy: No, I mean that if Koshi can't play anymore, we're stuck with Vapor for another week!
Vapor: Go ahead and get injured, Koshi!
Koshi resurfaces from the water on the
other side, while Bowser somehow is able to make it out of the
water, back to the sinking ship.
Bowser: I quit!
Videogamerpat pulls out the Snifit mask and is ready to shove it down Bowser's throat again.
Bowser: Who's next, I mean!
Fortunately for the players, Trouters
start jumping out of the water. Each player takes his or her turn
using the Trouters to get across the
water. As for Bowser...
Bowser: It's my turn now. Hey, where did all the Trouters go? Hey, give me a hand, somebody! Lemmy! Help me! Hello?!
The players can fully hear Bowser's screaming, but they can care less, or can't care less, or whatever the correct phrase is.
Koshi: We're finally rid of that stupid Bowser for good!
WHAM!!!
Koshi: Or not...
Bowser: Hello!
Lemmy: You're so lucky. If that huge
Trouter wouldn't have kicked you onto the shore, you would have been
sunk.
Bowser: You'll be in the dungeon after this contest!
Lemmy: It's a good thing you have such a short-term memory.
Bowser: I don't like that remark... what's this? Hey, this is some kind of note... It says some kind of rhyme.
Koshi: No doubt that's the immunity
poem. It goes like this:
Because we have run out of ideas and
thoughts,
And we don't know how to rhyme this
poem,
The immunity challenge will be a pathetic
race
On Ostros to a finish line if you want
to win.
Videogamerpat: These poems get worse every week!
Vapor: It's more than that, the immunity challenge is going to be really stupid. Riding on Ostros? It could be better.
Rachelle: It could be worse, though. How about riding on Porcupos?
Guest256: I could take that personally, but I won't.
Arim: Are those Ostros still around here? Remember how we got chased by them?
Bowser: Yeah, we were chased, but they won't come back. At least I hope not...
A bunch of rumbling causes the players to jump.
Koshi: Never say that!
Bowser: Those aren't Ostros! Those are giant Clawgrips. See, there wasn't anything to worry about!
Koshi: Those are even worse!
Bowser: Well, we can't run anywhere, so why worry?
Koshi: That's the reason we're worried!
Bowser: They can't really hurt us that badly...
A Clawgrip tosses a rock at Bowser.
Bowser: Ouch. You're right.
Koshi: So, what do we do now, King Koopa?
Bowser: We go home!
Bowser is about to jump in the water, when-
Lemmy: You can't swim, remember?
Bowser: Yes, I can! I think...
Lemmy: You can't swim in Sub-con either way!
Bowser: Then what do we do?
Lemmy: Look at the Clawgrips! They're taking a nap!
Bowser: That's what we should do... I think.
Rachelle: What, is it nighttime already?
Arim: For once it's not, but if we get a whole bunch of sleep now, even if we wake up early, we'll be well-rested!
Guest256: I don't like this idea, but what else can we do?
Vapor: Good night... or good afternoon.
Day 30
Panser Pack
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, wake up, everyone! Come on! It's only 7:00 PM!
Arim: What happened?
Crazy Packers Fan: I don't know, but you have been sleeping for 30 hours straight!
Videogamerpat: Uh oh... I think this Snifit mask had some kind of sleep powder in it, because I remember something coming out of it right before I fell asleep.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, it doesn't matter, because it's time for the immunity challenge, primetime!
Immunity Challenge
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to an extremely belated immunity challenge! This week you'll all be racing on Ostros through this course, and this Super Mario All-Stars cartridge will go to the winner!
Everyone Else: Again?!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yes, again. It would
have been the immunity game last week, too, but I forgot to give it
out. Anyway, survivors ready, get set,
go!
The players take off through some course on their Ostros. They go up a long hill, then a few of them go sliding into a pool of water. Those include Guest256, Koshi, and Videogamerpat.
Koshi: It figures, considering the way this day has gone.
Lemmy and Arim are in a dead heat late in the race, with Rachelle not that far behind. Suddenly, a Clawgrip pinches Vapor's Ostro in the behind, causing it to go flying past the others into the lead.
Vapor: That was a good one!
But Vapor's Ostro is in so much pain, it decides to lie down- on its back.
Vapor: Oof! Ow! Mmmph!
At the finish line, Rachelle starts to catch up, but her Ostro bumps Arim's a little bit, just enough to give him the win over Lemmy.
Crazy Packers Fan: Arim wins immunity!
Arim grabs his immunity game, and Vapor gets out from underneath the Ostro that was on top of him. Then the players leave the racing course and head for the beach where they had just been for the last 30 hours straight.
Panser Pack
Arim, Goomba-Hater: I am really happy about winning this immunity, but it will be more important to win this later in this game.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: I can't wait for this to be over with... it's been so boring with all these votes meaning nothing but getting rid of the next Troopa Mass member.
Vapor, Moronic Genius: This is it... I don't have much to say, though.
Bowser: I have the honor of throwing out the potion... enter Mass Massacre #10!
Mass Massacre
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, this is yet another one of those dreaded Mass Massacres where we have to say goodbye to another player... so, how have things been lately?
Koshi: You mean with Bowser bothering us non-stop? Wonderful!
Lemmy: Yeah, they've been very... eventful, to say the least.
Crazy Packers Fan: Any surprises coming tonight?
Arim: Nope!
Guest256: What do you expect?
Crazy Packers Fan: That's as I thought. I can't think of any more questions, so just go vote!
Someone must have accidentally turned on the Luigi's Engine Room music from Mario Party, or the entire set is falling apart and making mechanical sounds.
Arim goes to vote.
Guest256 goes to vote.
Koshi goes to vote.
Lemmy goes to vote.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: Now the game really begins.
Rachelle goes to vote.
Vapor goes to vote.
Videogamerpat goes to vote.
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: My vote's for, WOW, what a surprise, it's VAPOR!
Crazy Packers Fan: I'll go tally the votes... well, I'll try to.
Crazy Packers Fan just grabs the votes and runs back.
Crazy Packers Fan: What did you expect?
Vapor: Some sort of shuffling, perhaps.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, too bad! Here comes something super-surprising... Vapor, Vapor, Vapor, Vapor, Vapor-
Vapor: I've heard enough! I'm voted off!
Crazy Packers Fan: Please hand me your Bob-omb.
Vapor: Sure.
Vapor does so, and Crazy Packers Fan lights a lighter.
Crazy Packers Fan: Vapor... the mass has spoken.
BOOM!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Jump in the jar, Vapor.
Vapor does so, and the players just stare off into space.
Crazy Packers Fan: I'd expect some sort of jumping or something, because you six have the biggest lead since Koopa Troop had an 8-2 lead over Mario Mob back in that Survivor Trimming... anyway, goodbye for now, and I'll see you tomorrow for the next reward challenge!
In the Interview Room...
Vapor, Moronic Genius: I'm not mad that I got voted off. In fact, to show how good of a sport I am, I invite everyone who voted me off to my next Interview. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha... *cough* can't breathe...
Who voted for who?
Arim: Vapor
Guest256: Vapor
Koshi: Vapor
Lemmy: Vapor
Rachelle: Vapor
Vapor: X (vote goes to Koshi)
Videogamerpat: Vapor