Vapor: Yes!
Bowser 52589: My theory was correct!
Lord Seth: Okay, maybe we won once, but do you actually think we'll make it away like that twice?
Simon: We have to! The Mario Madness law holds up: the two masses must be tied up going into the merge, just like how in the semifinals and finals of Mario Madness, the two players were always tied going into the final mini-game.
Dane Petersen: So, do we have to try?
Vapor: Yes, so the show looks good. If we make the show look good, then probably Mr. Crazy will let us off easily.
Simon, Interviewer: It's too bad we
have our hopes all resting on the show looking good, and not our actual
skills.
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: Although I'm technically not allowed to use my powers, I am completely sure we're about to be attacked by some Pokeys, and we'll run around like crazy.
Dane Petersen: What are those Pokeys coming this way for?
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: See what I mean?
Bowser 52589: I'll attack them with this super-large vegetable!
The vegetable only knocks off one section of one of the giant Pokeys.
Vapor: Here we go again... for the seventeenth time or so, run!
Grabbing their Bob-ombs, the Troopa
Mass takes off running for miles, finally ending up walking into some
kind of abandoned visitor center for
Sub-con Park.
Dane Petersen: Stuffed Shy Guy toys?
Vapor: Tickle Me Triclydes?
Simon: Sub-con Park: The Game for Nintendo 64?
Lord Seth: Wart had a pretty good idea, and it's too bad this park failed. It might have really taken off!
All of a sudden, the roof of the building gets torn off by a huge Clawgrip.
Bowser 52589: Uh, anyone in the mood for running?
Vapor: No, not today. We just ran a few miles already!
Dane Petersen: Which reminds me, wouldn't
we have run out of air time yet? What I mean to say is, isn't it
Koopa Mass time now?
Stupid Cameraman: Right.
Right before the camera switches, a whole bunch of huge boulders go flying.
Koopa Mass
Videogamerpat: Are we really back at our old place again?
Rachelle: Unfortunately, yes. The Clawgrip
ruined all of the games and systems and stuff, but somehow after
all the chasing and running and confusion,
we're back here, sitting on the sands of the immunity challenge
grounds.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: This game is taking too long... I wish we could just hurry up and get to the merge so we can finally prove ourselves to be the stronger mass!
Guest256, Spiky Rock: One more poor reward and I'm stuffing the reward up CPF's throat!
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, I haven't said anything bad about Porcupos, have I?
Guest256, Spiky Rock: What happened to Stupid Cameraman?
Crazy Packers Fan: I'm taking his place while he gets trampled by rocks over with Troopa Mass. Anyway, what's the complaining about? You don't expect good rewards, do you?
Guest256, Spiky Rock: I sometimes don't know why I'm even in this thing.
Koshi: I have a feeling the reward challenge is really soon.
Arim: Why is that?
Koshi: It seems to happen right after I talk on the first day after each Mass Massacre.
Arim: Well, for once, I don't think that's happening.
Koshi: Why not?
Arim: If you look over there, the Koopalings seem to be getting injured very badly trying to build some sort of obstacle course.
Koshi: Oh, yes, I see. I didn't think Ninjis were so vicious.
Arim: I don't think they are, but obviously the large version of them must have more aggression.
Lemmy: I think you two just got as many
lines as you had in the past fifteen days. Let someone else talk for
once!
Arim: Go right ahead!
Lemmy: Well, not me, but maybe let's give Videogamerpat some time to talk.
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: There's
something suspicious about everyone letting me have some time to
talk. You ever notice how the one voted
off gets lots of air time each episode? That worries me.
Crazy Packers Fan: Quiet!
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: Oops, sorry.
Rachelle: I have a feeling our time on air is about to end.
Lemmy: Why is that?
Rachelle: You can tell by the way Crazy's fooling around with the camera.
Lemmy: You're right. Turn off that camera instead of sticking it in the sand!
Troopa Mass
Bowser 52589: We're alive!
Lord Seth: What do you expect? We couldn't die if Crazy Packers Fan wanted to make some good ratings!
Simon: There went that visitor center!
It's a good thing we were outside when the Clawgrip destroyed it
totally!
Vapor: How the heck are we ever going
to get to that reward challenge, which I'm sure is about to take
place?
Bowser: Hello, friends!
Dane Petersen: Bowser!
Bowser: I was just checking out what
happened here with the Clawgrip, and I brought some kind of
jeep-like vehicle with me. You can
all get in it, and I'll take you to the reward challenge!
Vapor: Funny that things always work out like this.
Koopa Mass
Lemmy: Here comes Roy... that means the reward challenge is about to start.
Roy: Hey, guys, the-
Arim: Reward challenge is about to start?
Roy: Right! These guys are smart!
Reward Challenge
The Koopa Mass simply walks to the end of the beach, while the Troopa Mass comes in a jeep driven by Bowser. Both masses see a strange wooden obstacle course in the water, with huge Ninjis standing nearby.
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to today's reward challenge! Do I sound cheesy?
Guest256: Yes.
Crazy Packers Fan: Good. Your teams
today will be playing for a never-released N64 game, Sub-con Park:
The Game! The winning team gets one
game per person to take home!
Lord Seth: Is the game any good?
Crazy Packers Fan: That's for me to know and you to find out.
Lord Seth: That's an old, annoying cliché.
Crazy Packers Fan: That's why I used it.
Lord Seth: You're supposed to review all games for us!
Crazy Packers Fan: Maybe, but the fact is, I haven't played it either!
Lemmy: Get on with the challenge explanation!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, yes. Both of your teams climb on this obstacle course, staying out of the water. Once you come to the end of it, you'll meet a huge Ninji. Your team must collectively knock the Ninji into the water to win. Any player that touches the water is automatically out of the challenge! Are you ready?
Arim: As always, no, but let's go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Survivors ready? Go!
Both teams go running to the obstacle course. They start climbing up a few of the boards, patiently waiting for each other to go ahead of them. All of a sudden, Videogamerpat comes to a place where the boards do not connect, due to a usual error by Roy. He steps back into Guest256, who ends up backing into Lemmy, and so on. Eventually, every single player is in the water.
Crazy Packers Fan: Neither team wins!
Guest256 goes running over to the Sub-con
Park game cartridge and picks it up, trying to stuff it down
Crazy Packers Fan's throat.
Crazy Packers Fan: Mmmmph! Mmmokay... mmmake mit, mmake mmit!
Guest256: Thank you.
Rachelle, Co-Webmaster: To be nice, that was THE STUPIDEST REWARD CHALLENGE EVER!!!
Arim: To be mean, that was-
As Arim rants and raves, the Troopa
Mass gets back in their jeep and drives it away, while the Koopa Mass
walks back over to their Bob-ombs.
Troopa Mass
Vapor: What are our Bob-ombs doing in this jeep?
Lord Seth: What are all these plush Porcupos doing in here?
Dane Petersen: What is Bowser 52589 doing in the driver's seat?
Bowser 52589: I'm going to hit Bowser, but good!
Simon: Oh, boy.
Bowser 52589: Hey, this is just for the best for the Mario world!
However, Bowser 52589 makes a wrong turn and ends up back in the woods.
Simon: We might as well just go to sleep now, as it's dark already.
Dane Petersen: The days seem to get shorter as we go along...
Day 17
Koopa Mass
Koshi, Fruit Freak: We've made it a long, long way. If we could only have some food...
All of a sudden, Larry walks by with a cart full of fruit.
Koshi, Fruit Freak: Excuse me!
Larry: Hey, what are you doing?
Koshi eats all of the fruit in the cart.
Larry: That was for your whole mass!
Koshi: Don't tell them that!
Larry: Fine, I won't, but that was unfair!
Koshi: Is this game fair?
Larry: Oh, I forgot, this is Survivor. It's supposed to be unfair. Enjoy!
Koshi, Fruit Freak: Now I can't complain!
Lemmy: Hey, what are you doing over there with Larry, Koshi?
Koshi: You don't want to know why I was over there!
Lemmy: Why not?
Koshi: It'll cause an uproar.
Lemmy: Obviously you were getting preferential treatment.
Koshi: Actually, I wasn't. Besides, this is pointless to argue over, anyway.
Lemmy: We're supposed to have arguments, aren't we? This is Survivor, isn't it?
Koshi: Go argue with someone else, like Guest!
Lemmy: Fine, then, I will!
Lemmy walks over to Guest256.
Guest256: What do you want, Koopa?
Lemmy: Obviously nothing useful from you, Porcupo!
Guest256: What's this all about? You obviously want something off me! What is it? My better looks and personality?
Lemmy: No, I don't need any sharp quills.
Guest256: I wouldn't want any spikes, either!
Lemmy: Porcupos are pointless in Super Mario Bros. 2. They just get bowled over by Stars or POWs.
Guest256: At least I don't get killed by being stomped on!
Lemmy: Hey, want to see who's stronger?
Guest256: Sure, why not?
Before a fight can break out, Lemmy and Guest256 notice that the other mass members have also started to bicker over pointless issues, except for Koshi, who is happy because of the fruit he just ate.
Arim: You know, Birdos are stupid!
Rachelle: At least they're not as stupid as picture-takers!
Videogamerpat: Hey, what did I do?
Crazy Packers Fan: Beautiful, beautiful! This is great! This will attract many viewers! Keep it up!
Lemmy: I am expecting a bonus for this, you know!
Guest256: So am I!
Crazy Packers Fan laughs as he walks away.
Troopa Mass
Vapor: Okay, you'd better watch where you're driving, 52589! Look out for that Triclyde!
A tremendous Triclyde spits fireballs at the jeep, setting the engine on fire.
Simon: Great! Now what are we going to do?
Lord Seth: Get out of the car, what else?
Dane Petersen: Oh no, don't tell me 52589 put child locks on these doors!
Bowser 52589: Hey, the buttons I push are what I push!
Simon: Great! We can't get out!
Lord Seth: Roll down the windows!
Bowser 52589 has his hand on the electronic window controls, causing them all to stay up.
Vapor: Come on, 52589, let us out of the car!
Bowser 52589: I'm finding Bowser first!
Vapor, Moronic Genius: If 52589 wasn't so strong, I know who I'd vote off!
Bowser 52589, Emperor of Virtex: These others don't understand that I want to get my mind off food right now, so I'm driving to do that instead!
Dane Petersen, Chao Babysitter: How are we talking to the camera if we're inside a jeep with the windows closed?
Lord Seth: Hey, by the way, this jeep's on fire.
Bowser 52589: Then I'd better wreck this thing apart!
Bowser 52589 drives the jeep right into
the tremendous Triclyde that just set their jeep on fire. It cracks the
jeep open, somehow, and the Troopa Mass members are able to grab their
Bob-ombs and jump out of the
car before it explodes.
Simon: Wow! That was close!
Lord Seth: You know what's even closer? The end of this day!
Dane Petersen: How is that possible?
Lord Seth: Oh, trust me, it is!
The sun goes down, suddenly.
Vapor, Moronic Genius: I'm not complaining. The faster the days go, the sooner Day 39 will get here!
Day 18
Koopa Mass
Lemmy, Clown Prince: Finally, the immunity challenge that means everything to our chances of winning. If we win, it's over for Troopa Mass. If we don't, then we've got to take care of business the right way tonight at Mass Massacre.
Arim, Goomba-Hater: I've got to note one thing: at least this place doesn't have any Grand Goombas walking around!
A Grand Goomba suddenly starts walking by the Koopa Mass.
Arim, Goomba-Hater: I knew I shouldn't have said anything!
Videogamerpat: This is one of those days that just feels like it's going to drag by.
Rachelle: I hope it doesn't, because this is a very anticipated challenge for us. We want to win to get the Troopas finished with!
Guest256, Spiky Rock: That "fight" yesterday has made me reconsider the way things happen in this mass. It's not all friendly now, it's an individual battle. It's one I can win.
Koshi: I'm not hungry, and it feels so good. How about you, Videogamerpat?
Videogamerpat: Don't rub it in. Hey, wait, when did you eat?
Koshi: Whoops!
Troopa Mass
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare: I'm even starting to hope that Mario Madness law comes into play later today.
Dane Petersen: Let's have another pep talk so we win the immunity challenge!
Bowser 52589: Right! Uh, what should
I say? Let's see... one more win and we've made the comeback! Down
with the Koopas! We Troopas are going
to win it! We're the survivors!
Vapor: Yes! We're going to win!
Simon: Uh, yeah, we are...
Lord Seth: I guess, but don't be so sure.
Bowser walks over to the Troopa Mass.
Bowser: Today's immunity challenge may
be longer, so we're going to have to start it right away! Come on,
grab your Bob-ombs, and let's go over
to my new jeep!
Bowser 52589: Which I'll wreck before I'm through with it...
Bowser: What did you say, 52589?
Bowser 52589: Nothing, Bowser!
Bowser: Want to fight?
Lord Seth: No, no, no more imbecility!
Koopa Mass
Videogamerpat: I hope tonight's immunity challenge is fair... unlike Koshi's eating of our food!
Koshi: Hey, I said I was sorry!
Lemmy: I knew you were up to something!
Rachelle: Let him go. He didn't mean any harm, he was just starving, LIKE WE ARE!!! Thank you.
Roy: Hey, guys, I've got to tell you something!
Guest256: You'd be better off not saying it!
Roy: What, a Porcupo beating me up?
Guest256 and Roy start to wrestle pointlessly for a few minutes before Roy crawls away with quills sticking out of his shell.
Roy: It's time for the immunity challenge!
Arim: Yippee! Hey, someone's got to be energetic!
Immunity Challenge
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to today's immunity challenge! I'll have the immunity game back now.
Bowser 52589: No you won't.
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, but I will!
Lord Seth: Trust me, you won't be getting it back.
Crazy Packers Fan: Why not?
Simon: Mr. Bowser stole it on our way here and wants to sell it for some brains!
Crazy Packers Fan: I'll get that back later, then. This week's immunity game is NCAA Football 2003, the first Cube game to get that honor! The winners of this immunity challenge get it, as well as a huge boost going into the merge. Now, it's time for the immunity challenge explanation. You'll be sitting in separate rooms, one for each mass. Porcupos will be piled up on you. Each player has a button that he or she can push, and he or she will then be warped out of the room immediately. The team with the last player out wins immunity! Guest256, you'll have to sit out.
Guest256: Why me?
Crazy Packers Fan: Turn off the camera!
Stupid Cameraman: Okay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Look, I know you won't be affected by the Porcupos, and I want Troopa Mass to win so the two masses go into the merge even, so we have more drama next week, okay?
Guest256: That's not fair!
Crazy Packers Fan: Is this game ever?
Guest256: No...
Crazy Packers Fan: Then you're sitting out! Turn the camera back on!
Stupid Cameraman: Okay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go in your rooms!
The two masses do so.
Crazy Packers Fan: For immunity! Survivors ready, go!
The players sit inside the rooms patiently
as Porcupos pile up on them. Eventually, this is too much for
Videogamerpat to take, as it is for
Simon and Dane Petersen. They all hit their buttons and are warped out
of the rooms.
Lemmy: Okay, this hurts so bad, it isn't funny!
Rachelle: I really can't take much more of this, but I want to win!
Koshi: That's it for me!
Koshi hits his button at the same time as Vapor.
Bowser 52589: This doesn't hurt that bad...
Lord Seth: I can take it! Bring it on!
Two hours later, Lemmy hits his button.
Lemmy: Wow! That was painful!
Guest256: Ready to admit Porcupos are powerful?
Lemmy: Painful, not powerful, I said!
Three hours later, Bowser 52589 and
Rachelle hit their buttons, leaving only Lord Seth and Arim, who seem
invincible to pain.
Lord Seth: These guys don't hurt me!
Arim: I can hardly breathe, but this is all right.
A Porcupo falls on Lord Seth's button, triggering it, making Lord Seth get warped out of the room.
Lord Seth: What?! I hit that by accident! Where's the instant replay?!
Crazy Packers Fan: Koopa Mass wins immunity!
Koopa Mass starts to celebrate.
Lemmy: It's over for the Troopas! It's over! Whoo!
Mr. Game & Watch walks up to Crazy Packers Fan, bringing him a video tape.
Crazy Packers Fan: What's this... oh, instant replay. Sure, I'll see it!
Crazy Packers Fan watches the instant replay. Meanwhile, Arim hits his button, hearing the celebration. He is warped to the other Koopa Mass members, and he starts to celebrate as well.
Crazy Packers Fan: Lord Seth's button was hit by accident, not by purpose.
Lord Seth: So we win immunity after all?
Crazy Packers Fan: Since Arim hit his button on purpose, Troopa Mass wins immunity!
The Troopa Mass starts to celebrate, while the Koopa Mass starts to protest.
Crazy Packers Fan: Read them the rules, Morton!
Morton: According to Survivor 3 rules, if an instant replay is called for after the challenge is over, the result may be changed, but an instant replay may not be called for if the result of the instant replay would not have actually won the contest! That means, since the instant replay was called for while Arim was still in the room, the instant replay is nullified, and Koopa Mass wins immunity after all!
Lord Seth: What the?
Roy: That's the technical version of it. Basically, Arim was in the room at the time of the instant replay being called for. He wouldn't have left the room if he knew there was an instant replay, so he would have stayed in there if he knew that the ruling on your button-pushing was overturned. It's too bad for you, but you lose, and they win!
Crazy Packers Fan: To make it short, Koopa Mass wins immunity!
Koopa Mass erupts into celebration while Troopa Mass erupts into chaos, complaining, and protest. Eventually they are calmed down enough so Bowser can push them into his jeep and drive them into the woods for the Mass Massacre. Bowser throws out the potion while the others grab their Bob-ombs.
Bowser: Enter the sixth Mass Massacre!
Mass Massacre
The Troopa Mass members trudge into Subspace, feeling as low as they could possibly feel. Losing is tough, but losing on a disputed call is tougher.
Crazy Packers Fan: After the most disputed immunity challenge ever, we have a mass here in complete chaos. How does it feel to lose an immunity challenge by the slimmest of margins?
Lord Seth: Horrible. Absolutely horrible. We still had a chance to climb back into this game, but now it's all blown. Now we're going to get voted off one-by-one! And to think my favorite two Koopalings are the ones who made that decision!
Vapor: This has got to be the lowest of the low feelings I've felt in this game.
Crazy Packers Fan: Would you call it bad luck?
Simon: It's more than bad luck, it's bad rules.
Bowser 52589: I agree. You can't just say we accidentally lost. We lost because the rules are messed up, and that's wrong!
Crazy Packers Fan: Do you have any strategy for the merge?
Dane Petersen: Maybe we can convince some Koopa Mass members to betray their alliance, who knows?
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, as a point of interest, at the last two Mass Massacres, huge Invader Zim fans were voted off. I hope none of you are Zim fans, for your own best interest! Well, it's time to vote!
Since Ludwig is ill, Crazy Packers Fan decides to hum the Tribal Council music very loudly. Have you ever felt like yelling "Shut up"? Well, this is one of those times you'd want to yell it.
Bowser 52589 goes to vote.
Bowser 52589: I vote off Dane Petersen. I really can't think of any good reason why anyone should lose, but it is a contest, and it has to happen sooner or later. Sorry Dane.
Dane Petersen goes to vote.
Dane Petersen: My vote's for Simon. He didn't make anything and I am SICK of losing.
Lord Seth goes to vote.
Simon goes to vote.
Vapor goes to vote.
Crazy Packers Fan: I'll go tally the votes.
Crazy Packers Fan jumps over several giant Shy Guys to go grab the votes, then comes back.
Crazy Packers Fan: Once I read the votes,
the decision is final, and the one voted off will be asked to hand
me his Bob-omb and jump in the jar.
The first vote is for... Dane Petersen.
Dane Petersen: I hope that's the end of it.
Crazy Packers Fan: The second vote is for... Simon.
Simon: Uh oh.
Crazy Packers Fan: The third vote is
for... Dane Petersen. That's two votes for Dane Petersen and one vote
for Simon. Obviously, the fourth vote
has to be... Dane Petersen.
Dane Petersen: Rats!
Dane Petersen hands Crazy Packers Fan his Bob-omb, and Crazy Packers Fan lights it.
Crazy Packers Fan: Dane Petersen, the mass has spoken.
BOOM!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Jump in the jar, Dane Petersen.
Dane Petersen does so, and the Troopa
Mass is left with the harsh reality of being down by two players
going into the merge. They grab their
Bob-ombs and leave Subspace silently. They even swear they can hear Crazy
Packers Fan snickering, but they can't be certain.
In the Interview Room...
Dane Petersen, Chao Babysitter: Well, it was a fun ride, but now that it's over I've got to sit back and watch what happens. Really, I'm not that mad at my mass, but it won't hurt to watch them get picked off one-by-one. Oh, well, goodbye!
Who voted for who?
Bowser 52589: Dane Petersen
Dane Petersen: Simon
Lord Seth: Dane Petersen
Simon: Dane Petersen
Vapor: Dane Petersen