>>Teams Cheat-4th at Junction-and Queen<<
Wario: Let's fall.
Waluigi: NO!!!
Waluigi's scream was so loud that a few bricks fall off the wall.
Wario: On second thought, let's do wall. I'll just charge through it.
Waluigi: But we can't go through a solid wall! That's way too scary!
Wario: I'll show you scary!
Wario, in a fit of rage, picks up his partner and chucks him so hard that Waluigi lands on the other side of the wall.
Wario: ... Now, if only I could do that to myself.
As Wario runs over to the wall and starts to ram into it, the camera switches over to Clawdia and Wendy, who have been standing behind the clue box.
Wendy: Mom, I got it! We'll just wait for them to put a hole in the wall, and then we'll run on through.
Clawdia: Wouldn't it be nice to try to get ahead of them?
Wendy: Those other teams that were at the Whomp Stop haven't made it here yet, so I'd say we're ok.
Clawdia: Alright, if you say so...
>>Team Bean-10th at route marker<<
Kolorado: Find the last Fun Fiction written by the first Super Koopa. I don't suppose you know this as well, old bean?
Bowyer: Know this I do not, some help we must find.
Kolorado: Quite right, but the question is, who?
Bowyer: Know this I also do not.
Kolorado: Let us call for a taxi. Maybe the driver will know, or he will be sporting enough to take us somewhere with a lot of people.
Bowyer: Sound good that does.
Kolorado: I say, taxi!
>>Teams Cream, Dream, and Talk-5th at Junction<<
Teams Cream, Dream, and Talk rush to the clue box. Susan gets her clue open first.
Susan: Morton, do you want to do Wall or Fall?
Morton: I am not afraid of a little fall, no, not I, or even a long fall, a great big, humongous, terrifiying fall would not even bother me or turn me pale, which is hard to do when you're gray, lacking much color as I am, for-
Susan: Fall! We'll do Fall.
Toad: Wario looks like he's having a hard time with that wall over there. I think we should just fall instead.
Peach: There is no way I'm jumping off an Albatoss! None!
Toad: I bet Daisy is brave enough to do it...
Instantly Peach grabs Toad and races towards the Albatoss.
Toad: Woah!
Bagels: Let'sdoFallLet'sdoFallLet'sdoFallLet'sdoFallLet'sdo-
Playful: Shut up you mutt! Do you have any idea how degrading it would be to jump off an Albatoss?
Bagels: But it sounds fun!
Playful: Yes, I'm sure it does. We're going to do the wall, and we're going to go off on our own to make sure no one follows us. Wario hardly seems to be making a dent anyway.
Bagels: You're really going to touch that dusty wall rather than fall?
Playful: What? Of course not! You're going to dig us a tunnel under the wall.
Bagels: Oh boy! GottadigGottadigGottadigGottadigGottadigGottadigGotta-
Playful: Get over here! ... Stupid dog.
>>Team Bean<<
Bowyer: Know the first Super Koopa do you?
Driver: Say what?
Kolorado: I say, do you know who the first Super Koopa is?
Driver: Mmm... no, can't say that I do.
Bowyer: Very bad this is.
Kolorado: (to Bowyer) Hush now! (to the driver) Then can you take us to a nearby place with a lot of people, good sport?
Driver: Sure, whatever. There's a mall just a few blocks away.
Kolorado: Smashing. Let us make haste!
Bowyer: Very fast you must go.
Driver: What?
>>Team Cream<<
Although Morton and Susan were first to head over to the Albatosses, between Morton's incessant talking and Peach's sudden burst of speed she and Toad got there first and quickly got on. With only two Albatosses available, Morton and Susan need to wait for Peach and Toad to finish.
Peach: I don't know about this, Toad...
Toad: Really, it's no big deal.
Peach: How can you say that?!
Toad: I jump off the roof of the castle all the time. It gives Wooster fits.
Peach: ... That really explains a lot.
Toad: Yeah, I-
Albatoss: Off you go!
Peach: WOAH!!!
Albatoss: Lady! We ain't dropped ya yet!
Peach: ... Oh.
Albatoss: Have a nice fall!
This time the Albatosses drop their passengers.
Peach: SHREEK!!!
Toad: *yawn*
Toad lands head-first but is unharmed thanks to his soft cap. Peach breaks her fall by using her parasol and also lands unharmed. While Peach continues her descent, Toad opens their next clue.
Peach: Well?! What does it say?
Toad: We're going to the pitstop!
>>Teams Cheat and Queen<<
Wario: Hey, Waluigi! Why don't I hear you smashing from the other side?
Waluigi: Because it's way too scary!
Wario: ... I'd just as soon replace you with a sock puppet.
Waluigi: Puppets?! AHH!!!
Wendy: Hey, could you two kinda hurry it up? We are in a hurry you know.
Wario: Sure, I'll just- Hey, wait a minute! What are you two doing here?
Clawdia: Wendy didn't want to fall, so we thought we'd just follow you through the hole.
Wario: Oh no you don't! Waluigi, we're gonna Fall!
Waluigi: NO!!!
Wendy: Aren't you forgetting something? Your partner is stuck on the other side of the wall! So you can't Fall!
Wario: Yeah, but... darn it! Fine, you two can follow us, but if you want to get through this wall you'd better help me.
Clawdia: Alright.
Wario and Clawdia begin to alternate slamming the wall. Cracks begin to form.
>>Team Talk<<
Morton and Susan are now in the air.
Morton: This is amazing, spectactular, terrific, incredible, the best! I wouldn't give this up for anything, except for some wedding cake of course, oh how I'd love some wedding cake right now, it's so creamy and sugary and tasty and delicious and-
Albatoss: Finally! Look out below!
The Albatosses drop their passengers.
Susan: Yah!
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!
The cousins have no way to break their fall, but Susan makes the landing less painful by putting her backpack under her. Morton lands on his face but doesn't seem to notice. He jumps up and grabs the clue.
Morton: We're off to the pitstop, the final part of this leg, the end, the conclusion, the grand finale, the ultimate conclusion, the...
Susan: Taxi!
>>Team What-8th at Junction<<
Daisy: I guess we'll have to Fall.
The King runs off in the direction of the wall.
Daisy: Dad! We can't get through a wall! ... Ooh!
>>Team Bean<<
Kolorado and Bowyer have made it to the mall they were told about.
Bowyer: Know the first Super Koopa do you?
Li'l Penguin: Wah!
Kolorado: Ah, perhaps we should ask someone a tad bit older, old bean. ... Excuse me, but do you happen to know who the first Super Koopa is?
Mama Penguin: Wah!
Kolorado: I say!
Bowyer: TELL US WHO THE FIRST SUPER KOOPA IS YOU MUST!!!
Piranha Plant: Shut up, ya freak!
Kolorado: Well, old bean, we could be out of this race if we can't find some help quickly.
Bowyer: Never give up you said.
Kolorado: What's that, old sport?
>>Team Cream<<
Toad: You know, you could help me carry some of this stuff...
Peach: Just get on the mat!
Toad does.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Lemmy: Peach and Toad... you're team number four.
***TEAM CREAM - FOURTH PLACE - 6:24 PM***
Peach: You're lucky, Toad. I'll spare you for today.
Toad: OK!!!
>>Team Cute-10th at Junction<<
Birdo: This could be a tough decision...
Yoshi: We Fall! Birdo ride Yoshi, Yoshi give extra effort, Yoshi and Birdo no get hurt.
Birdo: That's a great idea, Yoshi! Let's do it!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
>>Team Dream<<
Playful: I'm losing my patience! Why are we not through this wall yet?
Bagels: *bark* The wall extends underground for a while. I haven't found the bottom yet.
Playful: Don't give me your excuses! Find it! NOW!!!
Bagels: GottadigGottadigGottadigGottadig...
>>Team Talk<<
Morton and Susan jump onto the mat.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Morton: Are we still in the race or are we eliminated I hope we can still race because it's fun, I like it a lot and really enjoyed it but could really use some wedding cake which I believe I already told you about but in case I didn't I'll do it again so anyway I really like wedding cake and...
Lemmy looks at his watch, which ticks to the next minute. Seeing this, Susan elbows her partner.
Morton: Oh... sorry.
Lemmy: Morton and Susan... you're team number five.
***TEAM TALK - FIFTH PLACE - 6:31 PM***
Susan: Alright!
Morton: Yeah! Alright! Not bad! That's great! I'm happy! We're gonna win this thing, not lose, we'll get the million coins and I'll buy a wedding cake no wait I'll buy two or maybe ten and then I'll buy a...
>>Team Mean-last at Whomp Stop<<
Wart: This person should be good at acting. Ribbit, that's you.
Bowser: Me? Why me?
Wart: Think about it, Bowser, ribbit. Remember that time you convinced the Marios you were quitting and gave them your ribbit castle to make into a retirement home?
Bowser: Yeah... and I would have won too if it weren't for Larry!
Wart: And how about that time you ribbit convinced Luigi that Wendy was kidnapped?
Bowser: Ooh, that was great! I still don't know how he got out of that one.
Wart: So obviously this is your task, ribbit.
Bowser: This will be easy!
***
Bowser: Oh, Yoshi hungry! Have any Mushroom soup?!
Director: Wow! Your inflection was great! Here's your clue!
Bowser: Ha! Told ya I was a natural!
Wart: It says here we ribbit need to find the only submission Lemmy never accepted.
Bowser: Easy! That's Koopa RPG!
Wart: How'd you know that?
Bowser: I told ya, I know everything about Fun Fiction!
Wart: Fine, let's get a taxi.
Bowser: It's only about five minutes away. Let's just run.
Wart: I told ya, ribbit, frogs don't run very fast!
>>Teams Cheat and Queen<<
SMASH!
Waluigi: AHH!!!
Wendy: Yeah! Ok, let's go!
Wario: Hey! You said you were gonna follow me!
Wendy: Follow, go in front of, same deal.
Wario: Outta my way!
Wario charges past Wendy and his partner and swipes a clue. Clawdia soon follows.
Wario: Ok, the pitstop! Waluigi, get over here now!
Waluigi: But, but I'm afraid of the pitstop!
Wario: Somehow I think I've been cheated.
Clawdia: Come on, dear! We're going to Monday's Child and the pitstop!
Wendy: Finally! These shoes are killing me!
Clawdia: Didn't you pack those running shoes I bought for you?
Wendy: Are you crazy? I'd look like a dork, like Iggy!
Clawdia: Oh, we wouldn't want to have that, now, would we?
Wendy: Right! Now get that taxi!
>>Team What<<
Daisy: Now's our chance! Come on!
The King: You're missing a lovely sunset, Violet.
Daisy: My name's Daisy! And we can watch the sunset after we're done being completely humiliated!
The King: Being completely humiliated can wait, Petunia. It's not every day that there's a sunset.
Daisy: ... What did I do to deserve this? What?!
The King: Let's sing the team theme song!
>>Team Cute<<
Albatoss: See ya later!
Yoshi: Wow!
Birdo: WOAH!
As planned, Yoshi puts in special effort to rise a little into the air just before they hit the ground. This slightly delays their landing but ensures that they do so safely.
Yoshi: Bada, bum!
Birdo: You were great, Yoshi! Here, you read the next clue.
Yoshi: ... Yoshi and Birdo go to pitstop.
Birdo: Good! Can you get us a taxi?
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Screech!
>>Team Mean-last at route marker<<
Wart: Find the last Fun Fiction by the first Super Koopa, ribbit.
Bowser: Super Bowser Bros., by Koopa T. Quick... I really liked that story.
Wart: You know, ribbit, if you'd put that same kind of effort into learning about Mario's weaknesses, ribbit, you might stand a chance.
Bowser: I do stand a chance!
Wart: Right. Let's just hurry.
>>Team What<<
The King: All gone!
Daisy: ... I rarely know what you're talking about.
The King: Neither do I! But come! Let us experience complete humiliation!
***
Daisy: Make your way to Monday's Child. The last team to check in here will be eliminated. Finally, this will all be over.
The King: Oh no, Buttercup, the sunset ended hours ago.
Daisy: Must control... Fist of Death...
>>Team Queen<<
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Clawdia: Hello Lemmy.
Lemmy: Um... hi Mom.
Wendy: Ha! You love your mommy!
Lemmy and Clawdia: ...
Wendy: Um... I didn't say anything.
Lemmy: Wendy and Clawdia... you're team number six.
***TEAM QUEEN - SIXTH PLACE - 6:48 PM***
Clawdia: Thank you for the good news.
Wendy: Yeah, but try to give us better news next time, ok?
Lemmy shrugs.
>>Team Cheat<<
Waluigi: No way I'm stepping on that mat! I'm afraid of the mat! What if there's a trap door under it?
Wario: I'm sure the mat is safe. Look! I'm standing on it right now, and nothing's happening to- AHH!!!
Waluigi: OH NO!!!
Wario: Heh heh, made you look!
Waluigi: WAH!
Wario: Now stop being a baby and get over here!
Waluigi: Not on your life... which I'm afraid of.
Wario: Grr...
Wario gets off the mat, grabs his partner, and places him on the mat, then gets on himself.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Waluigi: I'm afraid of Monday's Child!
Heidi: I'm Monday's child...
Waluigi: AHH!!!
Lemmy: Wario and Waluigi... you're the-
Waluigi: I'm afraid of bad news!
Wario: Shut up! ... Lemmy?
Lemmy: You're team number seven.
***TEAM CHEAT - SEVENTH PLACE - 6:51 PM***
Wario: Heh heh heh-heh! See, now that wasn't so bad.
Waluigi: I'm scared of seventh place!
Wario: But seven is a lucky number!
Waluigi: Maybe, but all the luck I get is bad.
>>Team Bean<<
Bowyer: Know who the first Super Koopa is do you?
Machine Made: Know this I do.
Bowyer: In a hurry we are. Take us there can you?
Machine Made: Nothing else to do have I, so in my car you can go.
Bowyer: Very much you are thanked! (to Kolorado) A ride do we have so our next clue we can find!
Kolorado: Great work, old bean! If we can get there fast, why, we may still have a chance!
>>Team Cute<<
Yoshi: Wow!
Birdo: Nice finish, Yoshi!
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Yoshi: Thank Heidi.
Birdo: Aww...
Lemmy: Yoshi and Birdo... you're team number eight.
***TEAM CUTE - EIGHTH PLACE - 6:55 PM***
Birdo: Yeah!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
>>Team Dream<<
Playful: I can't believe you're taking so long! You're supposed to be good at digging!
Bagels: I don't think this wall ever ends...
Playful: I don't care! If we lose, I am blaming this all on you.
Bagels: We could have just done Fall like I said...
Playful: No, we couldn't. Now let's see if those other guys ever got through the wall.
***
Playful: There, ya see? We should just have followed them!
Bagels: But you said-
Playful: That we should follow them, but noo, you wanted to dig in the dirt!
Bagels: Was that how it went?
Playful: Yeah, now let's just get the clue.
***
Bagels: ThepitstopThepitstopThepitstopThepitstopThe...
Playful: Taxi!
>>Team Mean-10th at Junction<<
Wart: Let's try Wall, ribbit, and see if we can get through that hole.
Bowser: No problem! I can get through any wall!
***
Bowser: Ouch! I'm stuck! Give me a push!
Wart: It's kind of hard to push someone with spikes on their back...
Bowser: Grr... We'll just have to Fall then.
>>Team What<<
Daisy: Come on, Dad! Just a few steps further! Please!
The King: Ok, but they're coming out of your allowance.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
The King: I thought it was Wednesday...
Daisy: It's Friday, Dad.
The King: But she just said it was Monday!
Daisy: *sob*
Lemmy: The King and Daisy...
Daisy: We're out, I know.
The King: Zzz...
Lemmy: You're team number nine.
***TEAM WHAT - NINTH PLACE - 7:13 PM***
Daisy: OH NO!!! That means I have to go through all this again tomorrow!
Lemmy: I'm afraid so.
The King: Bring me the Royal Golf Ball!
Daisy: *sob*
>>Team Bean-last at Junction<<
Bowyer: Try Wall we should, for a huge hole I see.
Kolorado: Quite right, old bean!
***
Kolorado: I say, that challenge was not very challenging.
Bowyer: Correct you are, now clue you must read.
Kolorado: ... Ah, it's the pitstop, old bean!
Bowyer: Hurry we must, for behind we surely are.
Kolorado: I'm right behind you, old teapot!
Bowyer: A new one that is.
>>Team Mean<<
Bowser and Wart are staring at the two Albatosses. There is an awkward silence.
Bowser: Well?!
Albatoss: Uh...
Bowser: Kill them!
Wart: I wouldn't advise killing our ride, ribbit.
Bowser: Stop acting like Ludwig! ... Now, you two, what's the problem?
Albatoss: Well, you see, you two are a little two heavy for us to carry, so-
Bowser: ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?!
Albatoss: No no, I-
Bowser: ROAR!!!
Wart: Ribbit, what if the two of you carry one of us and then come back for the other?
Albatoss: ... We could... but it might take a while to get you both across.
Wart: We'll do it. (to Bowser) Ribbit, who's going first?
Bowser: I thought we weren't allowed to split up except for Whomp Stops.
Wart: I didn't read that rule. Did you?
Bowser: Yeah, I thought I-
Wart is vehemently shaking his head.
Bowser: I didn't read that rule?
Wart: I'll go first.
Wart gets on the Albatosses.
Bowser: Don't look down! Bwahaha!
Wart: Tell that to the competition!
Bowser: What competition? We're so far out in front that no one's here.
Wart: Yeah... I'm sure that's why we haven't seen any teams all day.
***
Albatoss: So long!
Albatoss 2: Ya know, it's hard coming up with something different to say each time we do this.
Albatoss: But in the end, it's all worth it.
The Albatosses drop Wart.
Wart: RIBBIT!!!
Wart lands and makes a fair-sized hole in the ground. He climbs out and picks up his clue.
Wart: We're going to the pitstop, ribbit. I hope some team got more lost than we did...
***
Now Bowser is in the air.
Bowser: I won't look down, I won't look down, I won't look down, I-
Albatoss: Hey, is that Mario down there?
Bowser: What? WHOA!
Albatoss: Haha!
Bowser: Get me down from here!
Albatoss: Whatever you say!
Bowser: WHOA!!!
Bowser slams into the ground, creating a really big Bowser hole.
Bowser: Woah... so many ways to say 'woah'.
Wart: Come on, Bowser! Get in the taxi!
Bowser: Coming, Mommy.
>>Team Dream<<
Bagels: Come on, Playful, let's run!
Playful: I never run! It's not regal.
Bagels: But I want to see if Master's here!
Playful: I don't want you speaking to Bowser. You'll probably give him our money or something.
Bagels: Great idea!
Playful: Why do I tolerate you?
The two animals step on the mat.
Heidi: Welcome to-
Playful: Skip it. Lemmy, if you tell us we're out, I am going to scratch you so hard...
Bagels: I like the hair, Lemmy.
Lemmy: Uh, thanks, I guess. Playful and Bagels... you're team number ten.
***TEAM DREAM - TENTH PLACE - 7:25 PM***
Bagels: Yay! *bark bark*
Bagels jumps on Lemmy and starts licking him.
Playful: *hiss*
Lemmy: Hey, you're still in the RACE... right?
Bagels: Oh come on, we'll catch right up!
Playful: You'd better be right... or else.
>>Team Bean<<
Kolorado: This is it, old bean. In just a few seconds we will be out of the race.
Bowyer: Our best we tried, but bad luck we received. No regrets have I.
Kolorado: That's the spirit, old bean!
The two new friends step on the mat. Lemmy is wearing a sad expression.
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Kolorado: Thank you, old bean.
Lemmy: Kolorado and Bowyer...
Bowyer: Know we do, know we do...
Kolorado: Yes old sport, out with it. We're ready.
Lemmy: *sigh* You're team number eleven.
***TEAM BEAN - ELEVENTH PLACE - 7:36 PM***
Kolorado: What?! By golly, we're still in the race, old bean!
Bowyer: Lucky we are, and win we still may. Give up we never will.
Kolorado: Right you are, old bean!
Team Mean
Sad music plays as Bowser and Wart step on the mat.
Wart: Where's that ribbit darn music coming from?!
Heidi: Welcome to Monday's Child!
Lemmy: Bowser and Wart... you're the last team to arrive.
Wart: No way!
Bowser: ROAR!!!
Lemmy: No, it's true. I'm afraid to tell you, you've both been eliminated from the RACE.
***TEAM MEAN - ELIMINATED***
Bowser: Oh, well that's ok, son.
Lemmy: It is?
Bowser: Yup. In fact, I have something very special for you.
Lemmy: Oh... for me? What is it?
Bowser: It's in my mouth! Why not come closer to get a better look?
Lemmy: Oh, alright, I'll just... Wait a minute, I'm not falling for that!
Bowser: Come back here, Lemmy! You're gonna get this gift if it's the last thing I do!
Bowser lumbers off after Lemmy. Wart watches them, then turns to the camera.
Wart: Um... all bow to me! Ribbit.
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| 11. Team Mario |
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| 12. Team Scheme |
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| 13. Team Steam |
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| 14. Team Cream |
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| 15. Team Talk |
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| 16. Team Queen |
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| 17. Team Cheat |
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| 18. Team Cute |
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| 19. Team What |
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| 10. Team Dream |
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| 11. Team Bean |
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| 12. Team Mean |
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