The Good, the Bad, and the Torte

By Chef Torte

Chapter 33: Friend or Foe?

Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi suddenly found themselves in a place with colors swarming around them. Small Power Stars flew around, leaving sparkilng trails of gold dust. They looked to their feet and saw no ground beneath them. Then they looked at each other and gasped. Their bodies’ colors were completely gone. Only their sillouhettes and shapes of their features remained. Of all the planes of existence they’d been to in the last three days, this one was the oddest, but most exciting and unique. Their frames did have colors however, because the colors on the other side of them were showing through their bodies. It was truly a breathtaking sight, if you are a being that needs to inhale and exhale that is. Mario tried to walk in his normal fashion but just spun around in his place. There wasn’t any gravity or ground beneath them, so walking woudn’t work. Luigi opened his mouth to say something, but no words were heard.

I agree Luigi! Maybe we should try swimming or jumping to move around.

Luigi was surprised to hear Mario’s voice inside his head. Then he listened and heard Mario and Yoshi mumbling about numerous things. Luigi heard his thoughts as well.

My! We can read each other’s minds and hear each other’s thoughts! Luigi pointed out.

Suddenly Mario and Luigi became a little nervous and embarrassed from knowing that the people around them were finding out everything about them, how they thought, what they liked, what they disliked, and how they felt about each other. Yoshi didn’t feel this way because Yoshis are very different in their emotions. They can’t experience love or true hatred. They, in a sense, are always in a state of curious ignorance, though the true way Yoshis feel is extremely hard to explain, and obviously they must feel some emotion as Yoshi loves to eat fruit, is happy when he’s with all his friends, and has a strong dislike if Bowser. But however Yoshies thought, Yoshi was not embarrassed that Mario and Luigi could find out everything about him.

On the other hand, Mario was nervous that Luigi and Yoshi knew how he truly felt about Peach, and of course Mario hadn’t and didn’t want to announce anything to anybody, especially Peach, as he did not know how she truly felt about him. Luigi’s thoughts about Daisy were also out in the open. It made him uncomfortable.

Are we just going to float around and think about what everybody else is thinking about? Let’s go get dat Crystal Star! Yoshi thought to his companions.

Mario and Luigi tried to brush off their uncomfortable feelings and move in this strange new realm. Mario jumped, and jumped, and apparently jumped. Once Mario jumped, he didn’t stop. Luigi and Yoshi looked up with a bad feeling in their stomachs. They watched until Mario was no longer seen.

Mamamia! Mario thought.

They looked down and saw the red plumber jumping from underneath them. He stopped when he reached his original position. This obviously wouldn’t work. They tried swimming, flying, hopping, crawling, and even spinning. Nothing worked. Luigi looked over at a group of Stars discussing something and was wishing he was there so they could ask how to move. Magically Luigi warped to the Stars’ area. Mario and Yoshi were completely confused. Luigi then figured out what happened.

You guys! I’m not quite sure how it-a works, but I believe that if you imagine something, it’ll come true! Like instead of you moving, the realm moves. Try it! Luigi told them.

Then Yoshi and Mario appeared in front of Luigi. They looked up at the several Stars. How is moving the realm with our thoughts possible? Mario asked the Power Stars.

The exact physics and logics behind it would never break through the surface of your brains. Let’s just say, you go where you truly wish to go. Other than that I can’t help you anymore. But remember, things not in this realm you create are exactly not in this realm. You could be forever locked with a feeling or moment you so truly wish to happen that once you create it you never will leave. Many have had that happen, and are still here. The only person who can choose to leave the feeling is the person who wants that the most. So heed our warning. The things you experience in this realm are not real, and may never be real. Do not even attempt it, as it might make you wish to never leave it. the Star warned.

Mario was a little confused. So if I thought about... huh?

As Mario thought about the thing, it moved him to that situation. He was in the thought. Mario was experiencing finally defeating Bowser, surrounded by his friends. Then Peach walked up and looked at Mario. Mario looked at her and felt tingly all over.

“Mario. Thank you! You finally stopped Bowser, and now...” Peach said.

“Now what?” Mario asked.

“Well.. I suppose I should tell you that.... I love you,” Peach said.

“Really?” Mario asked.

Peach nodded.

“I love you too, Peach,” Mario said.

Suddenly Mario and Peach were all alone on a beautiful island beach. The sun was setting in an awesome view out to the sea. Mario held Peach’s hand and smiled. 'I can’t-a believe it! This is what I have always wanted ever since I met Peach! This is unbelieveable.' The smile on Mario’s face turned to a frown. He stood up and looked down at Peach. Peach stood up with a confused look around her.

“What’s wrong, Mario?” Peach asked.

“This isn’t-a real! I must go back to help the Mushroom Kingdom, to protect the real Peach, the real Peach I hope to do this with one day,” Mario said.

Then Mario appeared back where he was talking with the Star.

Mario! Oh thank the Stars you aren’t locked in your fantasy! Luigi thought happily.

Yep. It just wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Now, let’s go. Mario thought.

But how do we get to the Crystal Star, if we can’t move? Yoshi asked.

Easy, Mario said.

Mario closed his eyes, and then he teleported to the area holding the Crystal Star. His two companions appeared a split second later. They looked in awe at the Crystal Star, floating majestically on a magnificent pedastal designed like the pedastals of the Crystal Shine and Crystal Moon, but it seemed better. There was something more to it.

Well, it looks like we passed any guard. Let’s grab this thing and go! Mario said.

But before anything else happened, a small Star flew down in front of them. An object appeared under it. It looked familiar but with just its outline and colors blazing through it, it was hard to tell what it was. The Star spun around and circled above the object. Suddenly they were in the same battleroom as before, with colors and all. Mario realized what the object was. The Star shot into it and transformed it into a new shape, new form. Smoke cleared and Mario stared into the eyes of his old comrade, Geno...

Chapter 34: The Terror of Mecha Mario

The sun had just began setting, and the residents of Yoshi’s Island were preparing for a festival. The Fruit Harvest had begun, and they were going to start celebrating it when night fell on the island. The Fruit Harvest happened some time after the Harvest Moon appeared, and the fruit was at its best condition. The hungry dinos then took all the fruit and gather it in Yoshi’s Island for a giant feeding frenzy.

But this harvest would end in disaster, not diarreah. The peaceful Yoshis on Yoshi’s Island were carrying fruit to the heart of the island, where the village was hidden inside the jungle. A big bonfire was burning in the center of the town, and Yoshis were dancing and beating drums. The fruit was plentiful, but sadly off limits until the night all of it was gathered at Yoshi’s Island. But someone was about to stop the party. Not too far away, Soda Bay was bubbling. Then the mighty head of the Mecha Mario rose its head above the water. The monstrous machine continued walking out of the bay and ashore. Back at the village, quakes were felt in the ground. A young light blue Yoshi named Noshi felt these vibrations and got concerned. He walked up to the village elder.

“Elder, what make big booms on ground?” Noshi asked.

The elder, known as Gol-oshi, looked down at the young dinosaur. “I am unsure. Prolly just Plit’s stomach.”

“Tis true,” Noshi agreed.

Of course it was nothing of the sort. The metallic Mario monster moved up the coast and into the jungle. Birds flew everywhere. Back at the village, the Yoshis noticed this sudden outburst of feathered animals and knew something more than a Plitquake was afoot. Though their dialect is hick-like in a sense, Yoshis aren't stupid. They are very intelligent actually, though I can’t speak for all Yoshies. The elder called for four of the village’s best fighters. He spoke to them, telling them to search the jungle. The four determined dinosaurs left, and sadly, would never return to their peaceful village. They went in pairs, searching. Jorshi, an orange Yoshi, and Ty-oshi, a black Yoshi were one team.

“Hey Jorshi, what you think we find? You think it be a bigga baddie?” Ty-oshi asked.

“Me not sure, Ty-oshi. But I dona think it good...” Jorshi responded.

Suddenly the ground rumbled again, and everything became darker. The two Yoshis were very confused until they looked up and saw a giant foot coming down. The dinos were flattened to death.

“Awesome! I miss being evil! We should have made up a long time ago!” Larry yelled.

“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve squashed a bunch of Yoshie! It’s invigorating!” Wendy shrieked.

“Let’s get rid of dis darn forest!” Roy shouted.

The fat oaf of a Koopa pushed a few buttons on the control panel in front of him, thus causing the Mecha Mario to punch its fists at nothing. Iggy snickered at Roy.

“Okay Iggnoramus, how do I shoot da fireballs?” Roy asked.

“I’m surprised you even know a word like ignoramus!” Iggy replied.

“Shut up!” Roy responded.

“Heh heh. You shoot fireballs with the red buttons,” Iggy answered.

Roy pushed the red buttons about twenty times. The Mecha Mario aimed its hands at the jungle and shot off several giant sized fireballs. In a split second, the jungle was ablaze. Back at the village, Yoshis finally figured out it was time to panic. They were grabbing what fruit they could and rushed to the east side of the island. The Yoshis remaining in the village saw the terrifying Mecha Mario close in on their home. Those few Yoshis never made it out of the village. Mecha Mario was wreaking utter havoc on the island.

Back at his castle, Bowser was watching with glee. “Bwa ha ha! We’ll have seized Dinosaur Land in no time!” Bowser laughed.

“Yes sir, when shall we threaten the Mushroom Kingdom? Shall I make the call?” Kamek asked.

“Are you kidding? I don’t want to look stupid! I don’t even have control over one of Dinosaur Land’s regions! That’s not the way to go about things, Kamek!” Bowser roared.

“Too late. You’re on in, five, four, three, two, one!” Kamek said.

A screen in front of Bowser showed King Toadstool and the Chancellor of the Mushroom Kingdom. In the Mushroom Castle, the two royal fungi watched a monitor with Bowser on it.

“What? OH! Ahem. Gwa ha ha! Greetings King Toadstool, Chancellor. I have once again called you to notify that I will soon be ruler of Plit! I suggest you pledge allegience and totally surrender to me, or else!” Bowser demanded.

“Or else what?” the Chancellor asked.

“Well if you’ll look to my left, you’ll see that Yoshi’s Island is in a heap of trouble! My greatest weapon is taking good care of it. I’d hate to see the Mushroom Kingdom be reduced to a smoldering wasteland!” Bowser said.

“Aww, I didn’t know you thought of your kids as your greatest weapon,” Kamek said with a giggle.

“I meant the Mecha Mario, imbecile!” Bowser snorted.

“Mecha Mario?” the Chancellor asked.

“What?” the King said in confusion.

“My gigantic robot. It’s a mechanical Mario monster, and it’s my iron fist that I’m going to rule this world with! I’ll contact you again later. I suggest you start writing up some sort of speech to surrender your kingdom to me! See ya!” Bowser threatened.

Bowser then dropped his evil smile and breathed deeply. “Boy I could have looked like a total idiot if they were smart! I told them my secret weapon. It’s just a good thing that they won’t figure out to tell that to Mario or anything.”

Kamek looked nervous.

“What is it, Kamek?” Bowser questioned.

“Um... the camera is still on...”

Meanwhile the Mecha Mario continued its promanade of panic, ending up at the ruins of Iggy’s old castle, which had been slightly rebuilt into the capital building of Yoshi’s  Island. The five Koopas inside the beast of bolts and nuts discussed the best way to obliterate it.

“I say we fry it!” Roy shouted.

“Let’s try to be original here!” Wendy replied

“I have a great idea! Just gimme a minute to explain!” Morton cried.

“A minute? If we gave you a second, we’d be hear until next month!” Larry snapped.

Iggy shook his head. “No no! I’m the creator of this hunk of junk! I’ll decide what we get to do to my old castle! I say we... use the Super Jump!”

The other four Koopas agreed with much support. Iggy began to pull levers and push buttons. The massive machine leaped high into the sky, despite it’s great weight and mass. The metal monster shot down and flattened the castle completely and took it about thirty feet underground. The Mecha Mario climbed out and looked back at the now devastated and smoldering Yoshi’s Island. Smoke rose high into the near-evening sky. The machine then turned toward it’s next target, the Donut Plains. It began walking to the new area.

“Wait! WHAT IS THAT?!” Larry shouted.

They stared at a giant robotic Yoshi walking their way, causing hurricanes by sucking in with its mouth.

“The Yoshis built a defense mechanism?! Impossible!!!” Wendy said.

A red light flashed and a siren sounded. Iggy turned to his siblings. “Hold on guys, we’re in for a battle, this could be serious!”

Chapter 35: Enter: Mecha Yoshi

The Mecha Yoshi moved off of Isle Soshi’s coast and into the ocean. They submerged and moved underwater towards the nearby Dinosaur Land. Chef Torte smiled and looked out the window at the many frightened fish.

“We’ll reach the Donut Plains in just a few minutes, Chef Torte!” Changling said.

“Good, I can’t vait to see ze utter fear on zose pazetic Yoshis’ faces! It’ll be grand!” Chef Torte laughed.

Meanwhile on Dinosaur Land’s Donut Plains region, the tribe of Yoshis were gathering lots and lots of fruit for the harvest; after it was all harvested, they would move it to Yoshi’s Island, not knowing that it had been nearly completely destroyed. A young green Yoshi by the name of Ned helped his red-colored friedd, Roshi IV, carry a giant melon to the village. Ned looked out at the ocean to the east of the Donut Plains and gasped.

“Roshi, what is dat?!” Ned yelled, pointing to the ocean bubbling.

“Me no know,” Roshi replied.

Out of the bubbling water rose the mighty Mecha Yoshi, and it walked onshore. Ned and Roshi looked at each other, screamed, and started running for their lives. The giant metal dinosaur made the ground quake with each pounding footstep. All over the Donut Plains the shakes and quakes were felt. At the Donut Plains central village, Yoshis gathered all the fruit in a huge pile. Roshi and Ned came running through the town.

“Everybody! Run! Monster coming!” Roshi shouted.

The Mecha Yoshi appeared over the horizon, and the dinosaurs ran for their lives.

“We go to Yoshi’s Island, we be safe there!” Ned said.

Inside the Mecha Yoshi, Chef Torte was up to his usual maniacal laughing.

“Okay, Genius Guy! Initiate ze B.A.S.S.! Put it on suck! Let’s get eveiryzing ve can! No more fruit for you stupid prehistoric punks!” Chef Torte ordered.

Genius Guy pulled out a key, inserted it into his control panel, and twisted it. Then he pushed some more buttons, flipped some switches, pulled a lever, and turned a knob. The B.A.S.S. was activated. Outside the Mecha Yoshi opened its jaws wide and used the powerful sucking force of the B.A.S.S. All the fruit around the village was yanked in, along with many rocks, plants, and other tiny miscellanious items. The Yoshis running for their lives felt the force of the pull; they tried their best to stay on the ground. Ned tripped on a rock flying toward the machine and grabbed onto the ground to not get pulled in. Roshi walked back and tried to help him. Ned’s shoes and saddle were pulled completely off him, then Roshi could hold no longer him. The green dinosaur was sucked into the Mecha Yoshi and was not seen again. Roshi ran for his life; tears were sucked off of his face.

“Mwah ha ha! Ve vill completely destroy ze island!” Chef Torte laughed.

“Yes we will, but then what do we do?” Changling asked.

“Zen ve vill haf our buddy ze Reapeir peirform a magic spell to cause deaz und decay across ze entire Dinosaur Land. But it vill only verk ist best ven ze island ist in bad condition,” Chef Torte said.

The poor Yoshis ran towards the bridge leading them to Yoshi’s Island, but they were confronted by a metallic mechanical monster Mario, walking away from a destroyed Yoshi’s Island. The Yoshis panicked and decided to jump for it. They jumped off of the bridge into the ocean. Meanwhile Chef Torte was destroying the Donut Plains more by using the B.A.S.S.’s blow attack. The ground was literally ripped off of the island. Rocks and bits of land swarmed every which way.

“Chef Torte! Look!”Changling said.

“Vat?” Chef Torte said. He looked at the Mecha Mario in the distance, heading this way. “Mon dieu! Mario built a giant robot to save ze day! Ve must fight it! Go in to combat mode!” Chef Torte ordered.

“We’re in combat mode!” Genius Guy replied.

Chef Torte looked ahead at the opponent. “Betteir go into all range mode too.”

Chapter 36: Crystals Collected

Mario swallowed hard. “Um... Geno? Is-a that you?”

The figure standing before him remained silent, but stared into his eyes.

“Mario, I don’t-a think this is-a Geno. If it were-a him, wouldn’t he have been happy to see you?” Luigi asked.

“You’re-a right. This must be the form chosen for the fight. Let’s-a go!” Mario said.

The room began to spin again. Once again they were transported to the battlefield. The Geno in front of them lifted his arm, removed his fist, and drew energy into the gun. Geno jumped back far and shot his Geno Beam with incredible force. Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi were hit head on and were blasted away.

“Mamamia! That’s-a painful!” Mario mumbled.

“You guys, I just-a remembered, we’re going to have to fight him with our strength and our wits. We don’t have any items!” Luigi shouted.

“Wait what about the Star Egg?” Mario asked.

“It hatch,” Yoshi replied.

“Oh well... it’s just Geno, right? If we work together, we will stop him!” Mario said with confidence.

Just then another blast shot past them, luckily they all dodged in time.  Mario ran up and performed a Super Jump on Geno. Geno took some damage and fell to the ground. Yoshi ran up and jumped on Geno. He punched him while on the ground, but Geno pulled his double rocket punch on Yoshi. Geno jumped up. A Star symbol surrounded him. He used the Geno Boost and was now stronger than before. Then he threw a Geno Whirl at Mario. Mario jumped over the attack, however, and used his Fire Orb attack to retaliate. The wooden doll brought to life was harmed, but not badly. Luigi ran up and clotheslined Geno. Geno recovered quickly and pulled out his Star Guns, injuring his three opponents badly.

“Oh no, we’re in a bit of-a trouble. He’s-a too good. We need some kind of plan!” Luigi said.

“You’re the smart one! You think of-a something!” Mario yelled.

“Yoshi know what to do!” Yoshi said.

“What?” Mario and Luigi asked in unison.

“To attack, he need charge up time. Why not we just attack him den?” Yoshi said.

“Well... it’s-a the best plan we got. Let’s-a go!” Mario said.

Unfortunately, while the three were strategizing, Geno had plenty of time to charge up his Geno Blast. They were hit hard. Each laser falling from the sky was a brutal blow. The three were now much less confident. Geno started charging again.

“NOW!” Mario yelled.

They ran up to him and knocked him down to the ground, making him lose all his energy. Yoshi attacked with eggs, Mario with flames, and Luigi kicked Geno. It was kind of cheap attacking him at once, but it was the only way they could really keep him down. Geno, of course, didn’t stay down very long and jumped out of the way, leaving Luigi with egg on his face, Mario with a kicked shin, and Yoshi with a crispy tail.

Geno ran to the far side of the battlefield and transformed into a cannon.

“LOOK OUT!” Mario shouted.

Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi ran for cover. Geno fired his awesome Geno Flash, and critically damaged his adversaries. Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi were all weak now, and all were burnt. They were charred grey and black. Mario coughed up a bit of blood and stood up. Luigi got up next, but Yoshi stayed down. The two plumbers walked over to the dinosaur and saw that he was out cold. Now one team member short, Mario and Luigi were in a real fix. Geno laughed and shot small lightning bolts at the brothers. They ran from side to side dodging the bolts. Then Geno shot a lightning orb at each of them. Mario and Luigi fell in their places. Mario once again slowly stood up, and looked ahead at Geno. Geno laughed in response. Mario tried to get his brother up, but it was no use. Mario stood his ground. Geno started charging another Geno Beam, and Mario shot off like a rocket. He ran up to his enemy and was about to land a punch when Geno used his Geno Beam and blew the plumber away. Mario fell to the ground and his hat fell off, and a clang noise was made behind Mario’s head. Mario turned to see that the Star Pendant Peach had given him had fallen out of his cap, where he'd put it for safe keeping. Mario clutched it in his hand and looked at Geno. He stood up again. Geno laughed once more. He charged up his Geno Whirl attack, and it was powerful this time. He shot it at Mario, but the plumber launched the Star Pendant at the oncoming attack. The pendant’s crystal reflected the blast and shot it back at Geno. The Geno Whirl passed through Geno and a noise was made, not like the last one Geno shot. Geno closed his eyes and fell to the floor. A green fire lit up and made the caped hero vanish into smoke, which formed into the Star. It disappeared, and so did the room. Mario picked up the Star Pendant and laughed.

“Timed hits are so cool!” Mario said.

Reappearing in front of the Crystal Star, Luigi and Yoshi were revived. Mario was also completely healed. They grabbed the last crystal with their claw and were warped out of the realm.

Chapter 37: Mecha Madness

“Okay guys, let’s do this. If those Yoshis think they can beat us, they’re dead wrong!” Iggy said to his four siblings.

“Supeir Mario may be, but he vill not be defeating moi! Let’s tear zem apart!!!” Chef Torte said to his team.

Both machines closed in on each other. The ground quaked, the sun set, and literally the biggest battle of the century began. Yoshis from the top of the Vanilla Dome region watched in terror and excitement as the two robots were about to battle. The Mecha Mario stopped and put up it’s fists. The Mecha Yoshi did the same. Both machines were ready.

Back at the castle, Bowser watched in confusion. “This plot is just too confusing! Where on Plit did the giant robot Yoshi come from?!” Bowser asked.

“I’m not sure. It seems unlikely that the Yoshis would be able to build a machine such as this, but could it be Mario? That just doesn’t seem right, because the Mecha Yoshi was destroying the Donut Plains just a minute ago. Hmm...” Kamek thought.

“Could there be another force at work here?” Kammy wondered.

Back on Isle Soshi, things were confusing too.

“Wait, does that mean Mario has a giant robot? Or what?” the apprentice asked.

“Me not know. Dis battle sure is confusin' though, but I know it’ll be an awesome sight to see!” Soshi replied.

“Whomp like to Whomp Mario!” Whomp muttered.

Then the battle began. The Mecha Mario shot three fireballs, but the Mecha Yoshi blew them back at the Mecha Mario. The Mecha Yoshi used its full force for blowing but the Mecha Mario was too heavy to blow away, though it did slow down. The Mecha Mario jumped up and kicked the Mecha Yoshi, which fell into the lake. The Mecha Yoshi got back up and shot out its tongue. The tongue’s tip had a large sphere with spikes on it. It smashed into the Mecha Mario’s stomach, sending metal bits flying.

“Now full powveir on suck!” Chef Torte ordered.

The Mecha Yoshi slowly brought the Mecha Mario in, using the B.A.S.S. and its tongue. Mecha Mario put up quite a struggle though. The ground was scraped as the Mecha Mario’s feet tried to stay locked on the ground. Finally Mecha Yoshi pulled in its opponent. A huge tidal wave of a splash was created. They started close combat in the lake.

“When we get close enough, use the Mario Tornado!” Larry said.

Mecha Mario uppercut Mecha Yoshi, knocking it into the lake. Getting back on its feet, the Mecha Yoshi roundhoused its enemy, knocking it out of the lake. The Mecha Yoshi walked toward its downed enemy. Mecha Mario stood up and waited for just the right moment. When the Mecha Yoshi was close enough, it performed a Mecha Mario Tornado, sending the Mecha Yoshi crashing into the Vanilla Dome. The caves crumbled and were buried. Mecha Yoshi got up again and ran at Mecha Mario.

“Prepare for impact!” Morton shouted.

The two bots collided with a devastating blow. The Mecha Mario fell backward into the ocean, and the Mecha Yoshi fell down on the Vanilla Dome once again.

“We need a new strategy!” Wendy screamed. “This isn’t working!”

“I was hoping we weren’t going to have to use this, because it’s very risky, but I guess it’ll have to do,” Iggy said.

“What is it?” Roy asked.

Iggy punched some buttons. “Hold on, everybody! We’re engaging in flight mode! Start up the Wing Cap!”

Meanwhile, the Mecha Yoshi stood up again. “Zat Mecha Mario takes eveiryzing ve got und zhrows it back at us like it’s nozing! Vat do ve do, Genius Guy?” Chef Torte panicked.

“Hmm, we haven’t tried our egg bombs yet,” Genius Guy replied.

“Vell now's a good time to start! Begin making zees egg bombs!” Chef Torte ordered.

The Mecha Yoshi’s rear opened up and out dropped a metallic egg. The Mecha Yoshi grabbed the egg bomb in its hand. The Mecha Mario’s cap had a large wing pop out on either side. The rockets on the wings started up, and were helped by a Super Jump and the feet rockets Mecha Mario used to jump. The combatants closed in on each other again, the battle just got dangerous...

Read on!

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