The Good, the Bad, and the Torte 2
The Four Bringers of Fire

By Chef Torte

Chapter 64: The Mongoose

Hey it’s me BOB, back from hiatus. And I’ve gotten rid of that stupid intern narrator, TAD. Anyway, on with the chapter! The monstrous mechanical serpent before the trio sent a shiver down each of their spines. Except for Blue Boo, he doesn’t have a spine. The sleak, green and silver creation made the first strike. The Clever Cobra launched its head towards the three opponents, fangs drawn. Ryanoshi and Crazy Koopa jumped out of the way just in time, Blue Boo stayed where he was but fortunately in a transparent mode. The fangs sank into the metallic floor of the ship, steam rising where the venomous acid was leaked out.

“ZOINKS! What’re we gonna do against this guy?” Crazy Koopa zoinked.

Ryanoshi ran across the move, dodging another strike. “I have no... idea.”

Blue Boo reappeared and floated upward to the same height as the head of Beta. He pulled his boomerang out of his tophat. “Why don’t we just attack it?”

The sapphire spirit twirled around with great agility, and released the weapon from downunda. The boomerang flew at the Clever Cobra like a circular saw. But as it hit the surface of the serpent, a twang was given off, and a few sparks flew. The boomerang fell to the ground motionless. Blue Boo looked down to his fallen weapon.

“Ha ha ha ha! Did you really believe your pathetic tool could damage my ultimate machine?” Clever Guy laughed. “The outercoating of the CG Beta is crafted from basic Boorilium, with a touch of genius added to make it impregnable to exterior assails. Or to put it in layman’s terms,” the Cobra spun around to face the poltergeist, “it is invincible!”

As the last word crept through Clever Guy’s lips, Beta’s jaws opened and a laser rifle emerged. A blast of green fired at the blue spec. Blue shouted out and fell backward in pain from the beam. The ghost was knocked onto the ground and rolled backward for a moment, losing his hat somewhere ahead of him. Blue’s eyes were now dazed.

“He’s slipping into unconciousness!” Ryanoshi yelled.

“Oh no! If he’s lost for too long, he’ll go mad!” Crazy Koopa worried.

The Clever Cobra twisted about to face the two still standing.

“Hey, we weren’t finished talking! You can’t start to attack!” Crazy yelled.

“Unlike other foes you may have tangled with, you will find I do not like to waste my time,” Clever Guy informed, firing a wave of green electricity from the maw of the Clever Cobra.

Ryanoshi and Crazy Koopa leapt out of the way again, but were hit with a minor portion of the beam. The Yoster’s tail was burnt, and Crazy Koopa’s shell was blackened slightly. The Clever Cobra returned to its first style of attack and dove downward with its fangs unsheathed. Ryanoshi looked up at the two daggers crashing down upon him and screamed. But a blur of a blue oval shot off like a missle and snagged the Yoshi before the fangs could pierce him. Crazy Koopa emerged from his shell and let go of Ryanoshi, gasping for air.

“That was close,” Ryanoshi gasped.

“But no cigar... heh,” Crazy Koopa replied.

“You should probably know that I prefer a fancible pipe to a grimey cigar any day,” Clever Guy said; though sarcastic, it was still menacing. Ryanoshi and Crazy Koopa rolled out of the way of this attack, the two fangs slammed right where they had been. “You can only run for so long.” Clever Guy snickered.

Ryanoshi heard this and knew how right the fiend was. Not a scratch had been dealt to the Clever Cobra, and already he was worn out. The green dinosaur hopped to his feet and formed an eggshell around him. The blue-shelled spiny troopa avoided another strike and saw his comrade’s move. Crazy jumped into his shell. Now both of them were on opposite sides of the CG Beta, both revving up inside their shells. In a flash, both were released in a fierce charge. Streams of green and blue followed the respective attack. Crazy and Ryanoshi slammed into the hide of the machine, then bounced off and ricocheted off of the walls. They continued to build up speed in the spastic technique. Like pinballs the two fired up and down and in every direction of the room, pounding into the Clever Cobra. Soon a cloud of dust gathered around the mecha monster, and finally the duo could spaz no longer. Ryanoshi cracked out of his egg on the ground floor near the fallen Blue, and Crazy Koopa reverted outside of his spiny shell up on the large catwalk. Both gasped for air and eagerly awaited the cloud of dust to vanish. As the dust settled, the image of the Clever Cobra was no more. But... there wasn’t any remains either.

“Wha?” Crazy Koopa mumbled.

“Death from above,” Clever Guy briefed.

Ryanoshi looked up, but it was too late. The concentrated green wave of electricity fell upon him in full force and the Yoshi blacked out.
 

Kamek felt the blood oozing out of his punctured stomach, slowly coating the dagger with the red liquid. The Magikoopa’s fingers shook as his open hands hovered out in front of him, nothing able to do. The taste of combined bile and blood crept from his throat and into his mouth, leaking out of the corners of his mouth. The dagger got smaller as it was redrawn from his stomach out of the other side. The perishing Kamek used the remainder of his strength to turn around. Kammy stood there, a disgusting look of satisfaction clinging on her face. The tainted dagger in her hand was lifted so she could sniff the scent of death that was permanently stained on the weapon. Her tongue wiggled out and touched the tiniest drop of his blood, then returned to its haven in her mouth.

“Kammy... why?” Kamek struggled to say.

The blood-soaked, blue-cloaked sorcerer slowly descended to his knees and continued to stare up at his cousin’s nasty face. But wait. That face didn’t belong to his cousin. It never could. Only too late did Kamek, the wise wizard, learn of his fatal flaw. Kammy didn’t survive, Vermik did. Kamek’s last vision was the true form of the sinister shapeshifter resurfacing. Then all was darkness.

Vermik continued to smile maniacally as Kamek’s lifeless corpse collapsed on the deck of the ship, a pool of his once rich plasma now surrounding the Magikoopa. The warlock in black removed a cloth from the folds of his cloak and wiped the dagger clean, afterwards placing both items back inside his robes and pulling out his orange-crested wand.

“You made it all too simple, my old nemesis.” Vermik chuckled. “Now that I am once again instructing myself, I only have two more steps to complete my plan."

The mage in black stepped closer to Kamek, the soles of his boots and the bottom of his robes staining with the blood. He placed the back of his left hand on Kamek’s back, and an orange light emitted from the gem atop his septer. In a brillant flash of orange colors, the final transformation was complete. Kamek stepped up from Vermik’s corpse, a smile on his face.

“I will go to inform King Bowser that Kammy and I had an epic battle with Vermik. The devious sorcerer was able to dispose of my poor cousin, but in the end I was able to overcome his strength and wit,” Vermik said through Kamek’s lips and voice. “I was injured, but thankfully a wound that will heal over time. And now to make my story believeable...”

The phony Kamek pulled out the dagger again, and reluctantly stabbed himself in the left shoulder. Vermik immediately dropped the knife and fell on the ground, grabbing his wound with his right claw and seething through his closed teeth.

“A small price to pay...” Vermik reminded himself as he used a spell to ease the pain.

The replicate form of Kamek stood up wearily, cleaned and placed the dagger into his cloak a second time. Vermik weezed and summoned his broomstick. He slowly hopped aboard and started his departure to King Koopa. As Vermik slowly flew from the bay to the Koopa Jet, a wet and scaly claw reached up from the side of the ship and grasped onto the railing. The weak Kammy pulled herself over the railing and rolled onto the deck of the ship, stopping in the puddle of blood. She was gasping violently; not only was she very injured, but she had used most of her reserved energy to climb the large battleship. Her hat was gone, the ends of her sleeves were tattered, and all of the visible flesh on her arms and face was bruised.

Kammy turned and stared into Vermik’s eyes, and she smiled with relief and let her head rest on the floor, the red blood coating on the side of her face. Kamek had won. She peered down the corpse and saw Vermik’s hand grasping his wand. Oddly, the red jewel was still glowing as if in the middle of a spell. She closed her eyes and turned away. After a moment, she gasped and turned back to the wand. The wand with the red crystal! Vermik’s septer had an orange crystal! Kammy’s mind raced as she placed the information together, understanding what had happened. She looked back into Vermik’s eyes, reached out and pulled off the glasses. She stared hopelessly into them for a moment, then discovered it was true. Behind these phony eyes was Kamek. She dropped the spectacles and closed her eyes, tears forming. Her only relative was dead! And that meant... Vermik was alive!

Kammy’s sudden epiphany enraged her, and gave her a miraculous amount of energy. She quickly realized she was back on her feet gritting her teeth. She angrily wiped her face clean and reached for her wand, finding it to be gone. It must have fallen to the seafloor when she was underwater. Her eyes picked up on the glowing red light from Kamek’s wand, and she reached for it.  As her fingers wrapped around the staff, she felt a second sudden uproar of strength. The red light from inside the crystal flashed and Kammy was absorbed in the red light now. With his last breath, Kamek had transported his leftover energy into the wand, and the wand must have recognized Kamek’s blood that she was now drenched with. The sorceress used the wand to fetch her broomstick, then placed it back in her robes, not wanting to dispell anymore of Kamek’s remnant energy. She climbed aboard the broom and zoomed off in search of the scoundrel responsible for the murder of Kamek...
 

Crazy Koopa stared nervously at the toasted Ryanoshi. He was still living, but at this rate he wouldn’t have the chance to recover. As the single opponent left for the Clever Cobra, the Koopa knew he wouldn’t have long before the cyber serpent came to make mincemeat out of him. So the frantic Terrapin searched the catwalk for anything that might help him in his struggle. The control console was very confusing, and there were so many buttons he had no idea what to do first. The Clever Cobra slithered from the ceiling and landed on the center of the floor. It lifted its head again and blared the yellow eyes toward the Koopa. Crazy Koopa slammed his eyelids shut and threw his arms forward furiously. A loud sound of crystallization sounded throughout the room. Crazy Koopa opened his watery eyes and smiled at the result of his panicked pressing. Solid walls of the strongest Boorilium had formed around the CG Beta. The snake’s head turned in all directions, studying the predicament. Furiously the machine slammed its head and tail against the walls, only recoiling without causing a dent.

“How utterly absurd!” Clever Guy raged. “I will not be kept confined like this, and I certainly will not allow a simple mishap to foil my plans. Boorilium may be the strongest element when solid, but have you ever seen a Boo in liquid form? No, of course not. All I am required to do is to reach the boiling point of these infernal walls. A simple task with the venom I’ve concocted.”

The frightening fangs of the Clever Cobra extended, now dripping with the acidic poison. It took a mere second for the mechanical beast to slam into the wall and begin to excrete the venom. Crazy Koopa saw the Boorilium already beginning to melt, he didn’t have much time. He looked at the console again and randomly pressed another button. A loud sound came from above, the doors that had sealed when they fell into this room were opened once again. He looked around and tried his best judgment for the last switch. Success! A major section of the floor below was lifting upward. Crazy Koopa jumped down and walked near his fallen friends as the floor panel rose upward to the deck of the ship. He grabbed Blue’s tophat and pulled out two Pick-Me-Ups. He forced the two beverages down each of their throats and slowly they came back to consciousness.

“What? Where am I?” Blue Boo said, rubbing his head. “And where’s my hat?”

“Right here,” Crazy Koopa said offering the hat.

Ryanoshi woke and screamed. “NOOOOOO!!!” He looked around and noticed the Clever Cobra sealed inside the cage of Boorilium. “Oh... never mind. I don’t know what you did Crazy, but great job!”

“Well I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last week....” Crazy Koopa joked.

“Hold on! He’s breaking out of the cage!” Blue shouted.

The platform had now connected with the deck of the ship, and a wall of the Boorilium cage was melting.

“How can he do that? I thought Boorilium was invincible!” Ryanoshi said.

“I don’t know. He bit it, and the acid started melting it,” Crazy Koopa replied.

“Wait a second. There IS a way to stop Clever Guy! Follow my lead you guys!” Ryanoshi said. “Crazy, you run over to the other side of the cage. He won’t be able to get you unless he slithers around it. Blue, fly up high somewhere and wait for my signal to attack. Let’s go!”

Though unsure of the plan, Blue Boo and Crazy Koopa did as they were instructed. Ryanoshi pulled out his sword and twirled it in his hand, waiting for the Clever Cobra to emerge from the cage.

“A sword will get you no further, dinosaur,” Clever Guy said, the CG Beta now slithering out of the cage.

“Well it’s worth a shot isn’t it?” Ryanoshi said, running to the right of the machine.

“Enough of your foolishness. I have spent more time than necessary with the likes of you. And now it is time to die,” Clever Guy announced.

“Not before you!” Ryanoshi said, leaping into the air grasping his sword with both hands and pointing it downward.

The green Yoster slammed his sword into the tail end of the Clever Cobra, but didn’t deliver any damage. The Yoshi stood there, hacking away at the robotic tail, not getting anywhere with his mere blade. Clever Guy was getting annoyed. He no longer wished to play with the feeble minds of these three. He pressed a button and initiated the Clever Cobra’s attack on Ryanoshi. The CG Beta shot down towards the Yoshi, fangs flying out in front. The green Yoster didn’t seem to be watching at all, but just as the fangs were about to pierce him, Ryanoshi rolled backward off of the tail. The venomous fangs sank instead into the tail of the Clever Cobra. Steam rose from the bubbling Boorilium.

“WHAT?” Clever Guy fumed. “This is... preposterous!”

Immediately, the Clever Cobra recoiled from the attack on itself, but the damage was permanent. The Boorilium that once coated that spot and made the Clever Cobra entirely invincible was now the target of attack. Ryanoshi jumped to his feet and picked up his sword.

“Crazy Koopa! Blue Boo! He’s vulnerable, let’s get him!”
 

The image of a wounded Kamek riding his broomstick across the bay was seen as the sun went down, causing the only light in the already dark and cloudy day. Vermik made sure not to waste his energy on speed, he needed what was left to maintain the transformation until he could recover and replenish his mana. Suddenly, a second broomstick-riding figure appeared from behind the phony Kamek, racing much faster than him. Vermik stopped and watched the second Magikoopa stop as well. Kammy turned around and growled at Vermik, who gasped in shock.

”Kammy?! You’re... you’re alive!” Vermik gasped. “That’s... great!”

“Can it, shapeshifter. I know it’s you,” Kammy hissed, causing Vermik to feel more than uneasy. “Now you die!”

Kammy rocketed at Vermik, who hadn’t the speed to dodge. She slammed into him, causing Vermik to instantly revert to his normal form as he fell off of his broom. Kammy watched the orange glint of Vermik’s wand fall just above him. She flew down like a missle and scooped up the staff before Vermik’s clutches could snatch it. The black Magikoopa continued to fall until his broomstick appeared underneath him. Vermik took a moment to steady himself, but it was a moment too slow. Kammy attacked again, this time stopping the broomstick sideways in front of the shapeshifter and slamming a boot in his face. A tooth fell from the Magikoopa’s jaws and he began to fall again. This time he was too weak to summon his broomstick, and he plunged into the cold water. Kammy hesitated for a moment, and then fired herself into the water after the warlock garbed in black. She resurfaced after a brief minute, the unconscious Vermik held by her arm. Slowly she rose up above the water, the broom wasn’t very fast with two people on it. She kept Vermik close to her so she’d know if he was to awake again. Kammy then rocketed off back to the Devastator muttering something under her breath.

“There’s still time to save him...”
 

The Clever Cobra slithered anxiously away, trying to get out of reach of the barrage of attacks being dealt to it, Ryanoshi with his sword, Crazy Koopa with his shell shots, and Blue Boo with his boomerang. Each hit did little damage, but the point was that damage was occurring, and Clever Guy didn’t want anymore of it. The three chased after the CG Beta as it speedily crossed the ship, but then it stood its head up and twisted around.

“Uh oh. What’s going on?” Blue Boo asked.

“Who cares! Let’s not let him attack!” Ryanoshi shouted.

“You can try to hit me, but will your accuracy be off when you’re blind?” Clever Guy queried.

“What’s he talking about?” Ryanoshi asked.

“Oh no... not again!” Crazy Koopa worried.

Two bright flashes of stinging yellow eminated from the eyes of the Clever Cobra. Ryanoshi, Blue, and Crazy Koopa were blinded by the fantastic light, each rubbed their closed eyes, trying to regain vision.

“And now for my ultimate attack!” Clever Guy announced.

The worried trio hurriedly tried to regain their eyesight in time, but didn’t expect to. But when no sound or cry of pain was heard, the three were very confused. Finally, some vision was healing and the image of a noodle swaying side to side appeared. As their eyes sharpened, the noodle was revealed to be the Clever Cobra, and it looked as if it was dancing, swaying side to side like that. Ryanoshi looked up at the machine and studied it in bewilderment. The gentle swaying relaxed him for some reason. He then peered into the eyes of the machine, forgetting the possibility of another blinding attack. As soon as his eyes made contact, something happened. Clever Guy smirked as the effect occurred on all three of them.

“Yes that’s correct. How do you like my, charm? Ha ha ha,” Clever Guy punned.

“Charm?! That’s a terrible pun!” Blue Boo shouted, regaining his composuure.

“Eh? Why weren’t you affected by the hypnotization technique?” Clever Guy demanded.

“I wasn’t stupid enough to look back into the eyes of your machine. Boos are too sensitive to such a bright flash of light to make a mistake like that.” Blue Boo snickered. “It looks like you’ve miscalculated something.”

“Indeed. I’ll have to try a different method I suppose. How about this?” Clever Guy asked.

The Clever Cobra’s mouth opened and poured out the laser beam at Blue Boo. The poltergeist was caught off guard, but luckily dodged most of the attack. Ryanoshi and Crazy Koopa were restored to their normal state when the Clever Cobra stopped swaying to shoot Blue. Clever Guy was furious.

“AGGAH! I will not be defeated by such empty skulls! All systems, FULL POWER!!!” Clever Guy shouted.

Twin rows of yellow lights lit up down the back of the serpent cyborg. Its mouth opened and it fired the green blasts rapidly into the air. Immediately afterward, the CG Beta dove into the deck of the ship, disappearing beneath into the hull.

“Look out!” Crazy Koopa shouted.

The few green lasers fired into the air had broken up and were now raining many smaller lasers down onto the deck. Ryanoshi ran forward and slammed Crazy Koopa in the back with his nose so he’d fly onto his saddle. Blue Boo hovered down and grabbed onto the green tail. Ryanoshi then ran as fast as he could to avoid the fierce blasts of lasers. Up ahead of him, the Clever Cobra’s head burst from underneath and fired a large beam at them. The Yoshi flutter-jumped to the side and continued to avoid the torrent of laser blasts. The Clever Cobra leaped out from below and persued them hastily along the deck.

“I’ve got an idea!” Ryanoshi shouted.

Crazy Koopa and Blue Boo held on, hoping whatever it was it would work. The silver serpent slithered speedily behind the trio. Ryanoshi made a quick dash to the side and began running up the spiral staircase of the Reznor control tower. The Clever Cobra turned instantly after them, crushing the staircase as it went. When Ryanoshi and the others arrived at the top of the tower, they took one glance at the controls of the Reznor, then the Yoster quickly rushed out and jumped out of a window, fluttering to the ground. The head of the CG Beta smashed into the room and got stuck when trying to follow them out the window. Once landed, the trio separated next to each other and stared up at their enemy. The Clever Cobra had wrapped itself around the teetering tower, and was now stuck.

“All right, let’s finish him off once and for all!” Ryanoshi declared.

Ryanoshi stabbed his sword into the weakspot on the tail, cutting really deep, causing several sparks to fly. Blue Boo pulled a miniature Bob-omb out of his hat and wound it up. He placed it in the cut and all three of them rushed off of the ship, splashing into the water below. The Clever Cobra’s head shifted outward, the cockpit now visible and Clever Guy standing up, placing a metallic pack on his back. A quiet noise sounded, and it turned into a jetpack which he flew upward with. The Bob-omb exploded, the enitre Clever Cobra burst into flames and tiny explosions. The tower fell over and crashed into the ship, making the entire Cerberus explode. Clever Guy watched the flaming wreackage from above with his sinister smirk.
 

“Back to the drawing board I guess, I suppose Gamma and Delta could have another go...”

Chapter 65: Gang-Plank Galleon

Upon the deck, the six stared at each other as the oncoming battle began. The pair of Yosters, one green the other blue, stared at each other with a sense of satisfaction. Cap’n Torte and his clone peered into the fishy eyes of Jonathon Jones and his nephew Dimplestick. The first strike was dealt.

“Take zis, you fool!!!” Torte shouted, pulling off his pirate hat and throwing it in his opponent’s direction.

Johnny stepped to the side and watched the hat fly by him and land in the water off the side of the ship. He looked down at it and back at the chef, bewildered. With Mini Moi and everyone else staring at him the captain simply replied.

“Yeah, I don’t know vhy I zought zat vould verk...”

Then the real first strike was dealt. Soshi leapt forward and unleashed his fury via frontal claws on the green dinosaur. Yoshi was ready for this and somersaulted underneath the jumping dragon and countered with a spicy blast of fruit juice stored in his stomach. The pink liquid fired in a pretty stream and impacted the foe on his tail. Soshi shrieked and flapped his wings when the acidic juice seethed his blue tail. The dragon Yoster became airborne and flew overhead the green dinosaur, plotting his next attack.

Johnny and Dimplestick versus Torte and Mini Moi. The duos attacked one of the opposing side decided by size. Mini Moi revealed his POCKET PAN OF PAIN and started to swing at the youthful nephew of the famed pirate. Dimplestick blocked the cooking utensil’s strike with his own weapon, the custom-made skewer with a star-pointed end. Each time one of the compact combatants struck their weapons together, a ringing twang of metal spreaded through the area, much like dueling swordsmen. Cap’n Torte, although known to be somewhat trained in fencing, attacked with his own method. The now bare-scalped Koopa aimed his mighty PAN OF PERIL toward Jonathon Jones and fired his standard but deadly red laser bullets of energy from the top spike. The shark deflected each blast with his long and powerful trident.

“Grrrr! You foolish fish!!! Zat’s not supposed to happen, you should be sushi by now!” Cap’n Torte shouted.

“I wouldn’t be sushi if ya hit me. Sushi is uncooked, raw. Wait, I thought you were a chef?” Johnny asked.

“Err... SILENCE!!!” Cap’n Torte yelled. “TASTE MY FURY!!!”

The insulted Terrapin grabbed the hilt of his frying pan and frantically fired rapidly in the general direction of the pirate. Johnny reacted quickly and spun his trident in front of him faster and faster until it appeared to be one giant whirring circle. The lasers fired were once again deflected but in a mass amount thanks to this technique. Torte stopped when the PAN OF PERIL ran out of juice, and he gasped heavily watching Jonathon Jones re-emerge from a cloud of smoke, not a scratch on him.

“Aw come on! You couldn’t haf blocked ALL of zose!!!” Cap’n Torte yelled.

“Ye be right on tha’ ‘un Torte.” Johnny pointed his fin to a small welt just above his eye. “An’ now I’ll be returning the favor, only a grand times more!”

Cap’n Torte screamed as the massive shark seemingly flew ten meters across the deck, his mouth open and eyes blackened. He slammed into the foreigner and trapped him against the wall. The PAN OF PERIL slipped from Torte’s grasp and slid across the ship, stopping a quarterway over the side of the vessel. Cap’n Torte looked deep into Johnny’s fierce eyes, then back to the PAN OF PERIL and returning to Johnny again. Beads of sweat descended on the chef’s face. Johnny flashed a frightening smile at his cornered catch.

“What’s the matter, chum?” Johnny laughed.

“Hey, for a pun zat vasn’t too bad,” Cap’n Torte complimented.

“Did I say ya could talk?” Johnny bellowed.

“No! I mean, ...” the chef ...’d nervously.

“Now, I think it’s time for supper, don’ you?” Johnny chuckled again.

The pirate once again eyed the PAN OF PERIL, and then his feet and back to Johnny.

“No,” Torte responded.

“No? Then what in the Davy Jones’ locker time is it?” Johnny asked angrily.

Cap’n Torte smirked and sank to the floor swiftly, then quickly rolled from under Johnny and to the side of the ship where he equipped the PAN OF PERIL once again. He clenched the weapon tightly, activating a function of the device. The blue core of the PAN OF PERIL lit up brightly, giving an ominous but still very cool look to the weapon and its beholder. Torte flashed his toothy grin back at Johnny.

“It’s time to TORTE it up a notch!!!”
 

Jagger poked his head out of the brig and watched as the grand battle began. Nearest to him were the two Yoshis, entranced in their equal brawl. The General of the Koopa Troop sidled along the ship and around to the back. Once out of sight he relaxed and exhaled, only to be found in a stickier situation.

“Jagger?” Jinx said, disbelieving his eyes.

“Sensei!” Jagger gasped, then angered by his mistake in naming his former trainer.

“It has been a long time, my former pupil,” Jinx spoke.

“Not long enough if you ask me,” Jagger replied.

“Now, now. There is no reason for us to argue, and no time as well,” Jinx stated. “Whatever your plans are now, no matter how low they may be, I cannot deviate from my current objective to stop you.”

“Good, then don’t try,” Jagger said, turning around angrily.

“We will meet again, Jagger,” Jinx said, as the Terrapin hopped into the lone rowboat and began to paddle to shore.
 

Soshi belched up several spheres of his own acidic juice at the grounded Yoshi. The green hero carefully dodged the first few, but two came in contact with the dinosaur, burning into his smooth scales.

“Last time you won by default. This time we’ll just see who’s really the strongest!” Soshi snarled.

The blue dragon launched downward at the end of his dramatic quote. Yoshi flipped backward, just avoiding Soshi’s talons. The clawed feet of the dragon crashed into the deck, creating a momentary paralization for him. Yoshi took the opportunity to give a painful roundhouse to his enemy. Soshi was smacked hard in the lower jaw and flew backward, landing on his back with a moan. Our green protagonist wasted no time and barraged the downed blue beast with green spotted eggs. Each egg that slammed against Soshi pushed him farther down the deck. When Yoshi had no more stored food to create eggs, he stopped and awaited Soshi to stand.

“Come on, I know you aren’t finished,” Yoshi declared.

Soshi pulled himself up, slowly. He was bruised in a few areas, and his lower lip was cut, but not that bad overall. “I’m not nearly finished greenie, just you watch.”

Mini Moi and Dimplestick continued their even bout near the four cannons on the right side of the ship. The shark sliced to Mini Moi’s feet, but the clone effortlessly jumped over the attack and continued the fight. When Mini Moi tried a new technique by slicing vertically to slam Dimplestick on the head, the nephew of the captain rolled to the side of the tiny Torte, attempting a parry. But on-the-ball Mini Moi again deflected with his POCKET PAN OF PAIN.

“You’re pretty good,” Dimplestick said.

Mini Moi smiled with his mouth closed and nodded.

“But I doubt you saw this coming,” Dimplstick said before backflipping and pointing his skewer to the sky once landed. “CHAREIS! FRISE! OTLESOOP!”

An orange glow surrounded the spear. Mini Moi watched curiously, but cautiously. Dimplestick attacked the air around him viciously, leaving trails of himself and an orange glow behind. In three seconds, he stood in his former position smiling. Mini Moi’s eyes widened a bit, but soon resumed the evil glare.

“To put it simply...” Dimplestick said, taking a step forward. “Bippity...” a trail of short sharks and he was behind Mini Moi. “Boppity.” Mini Moi turned around, finding a trail of his foe. He turned back and saw Dimplestick smack in his face. “BOO!”

An explosion of orange and white occurred, and Mini Moi flew far across the galleon, his pirate hat destroyed in the blast. The clone’s cranium collided with a cannonball near one of the cannons. Mini Moi stood up and rubbed his pounding head. He saw Dimplestick speeding towards him like a missle and hastily pulled out the POCKET PAN OF PAIN, firing a large multicolored ray of light at the shark. Dimplestick fell back from the blast and was just as injured as Mini Moi. He grunted and charged forward, Mini Moi charged as well. The pair pounced on each other.
 

“MWA HA HA HA HA HA! I AM SO FREAKIN’ COOL!!!” Torte laughed.

“Well, le’s see. You made your frying pan dealy glow blue. Wha’s so cool ‘bout tha’?” Johnny asked.

“Ven ze core ist empowveired, all of ze veapons and gizmos are upgraded to deal out tvice as much peril! It’s ze PAN OF PERIL, OPTIMIZED!!!!” Torte shouted.

Johnny gasped. “Now wait just one minizzle...”

“I lack ze time and patience to, Dawg. Now haf an ourderve of my OPTIMIZED HYPEIR-PLASMA CANNON!!!” Torte roared.

The chef spiraled into the air, holding the blue-glowing PAN OF PERIL above. Tiny white dots of energy gathered at the center of the HPC’s port. Torte flipped once in the air and thrust the weapon in Johnny’s direction.

“FIRE!!!”

A brilliant blue beam burst from the barrel of the HPC. Deep inside the beam was a tint of violet, and the outside of the powerful ray was green. Johnny dove for cover, but it was too little too late. The Hyper Plasma Cannon OPTIMIZED hit Jonathon Jones with the full force, resulting in an immense dome of cool colors that vanished just as Torte returned to the deck. A circle of charred wood surrounded the fallen Johnny.

“YES! I DID IT! I’M ZE BEST PIRATE AND CHEF AND VILLAIN AND GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE,” Torte stopped and winked, “EVEIR!!!”

But the egotistical maniac’s success faded when the true pirate coughed and slowly stood up, collecting his trident.

“Vat?! No, I killed you! Cooked you good!” Torte panicked.

“Nope, you only succeeded in jumping the shark,” Johnny replied.

“Jumping ze shark? Vhere haf I heard zat before?” Torte questioned. “Oh right, ze term used ven somezing has gone far past its prime and starts spiraling downvard crazily, such as ze episode of Happy Days ven ze Fonz attempted to jump a Great Vhite Shark. Boy zat vas a terrible episode, I stopped vatching afteir zat.”

“Yeah, well while you were doing your monologue bit thar I’ve just finished a nifty trick o’ me own,” said Johnny, who was now colored bright red, his muscles larger and with more veins. Johnny smiled. “GET TOUGH!”

“No, it’s GOT MILK. Also it’s a question, not a statement,” Torte spoke moronically.

“Blimey!” Johnny growled. “Could you get any more idiotic?”

“Idiotic? Mon dieu! Sir, you haf insulted my honor, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!” Torte challenged.

“ARRGH! We already be in a duel,” Johnny shouted.

The wily Terrapin looked about himself. “Ah, so it vould seem. Let us finish it zen, no?”
 

Torch R. Chambers hopped down the hallway in search of the missing item needed for Kumquat’s ultimate plan, when he heard two voices, one very familiar.

“Hey, look what Dingpot had! Isn’t it neat?”

“URR URR! ME WANT TO WHOMP SHINY-SHINY!!!”

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We should keep it safe and give it to the Cap’n when he’s finished fighting.”

Torch edged around the open door to peer inside. Whomp and Embert were looking at the Sacred Sun, which was on the table. Torch stepped back around the door to not be seen.

“BUT WHY IS WE DOWN HERE INSTEAD OF HELPING?!” Whomp asked.

“I don’t know. The Cap’n made very specific that it was us two that were down here... did we ever do something wrong?” Embert pondered, oblivious to so many past events.

“I MAKE GASPING NOISE! WHAT IF CAP’N HAS SURPRISE PARTY PLANNED FOR US?!” Whomp gasped.

“Gee wilickers, Mr. Whomp! You could be right! And to think I thought the Cap’n was actually attempting to be evil again! He must realize what a bad job he did last time... right?” Embert asked.

“WHOMP NO LONGER INTERESTED IN LISTENING. WHOMP MUST GO WHOMP AT PARTY AND URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!” Whomp urred.

Torch rolled himself into another open door across the hall as the large brick and Embert left their room to the deck. Once he was sure they were gone he snickered.

“Ha ha ha. That wuss Embert could have had amazing powers, but like the dope he was left the Sacred Sun unprotected!” Torch laughed.

A hissing noise was heard that startled the Podoboo for a moment. He turned and saw Lucy flicking her tail about on Genius Guy’s desk. He laughed at himself for a moment, then moved closer to the cat.

“Oh, what a pathetic little creature! Are you mad at me? Huh? You... you think I should leave? Huh? Am I... Bo~thering you?!” Torch asked annoyingly, staring centimeters away from Lucy’s evil face.

In six seconds, Torch was tossed violently out of the room nearly dead. “Holy Costandza!” was the only words that could come to the beaten fireball. Torch waddled slowly into the room containing the Sacred Sun, and limped toward it. As he struggled forward, he felt the power of the ancient treasure feeding into him. And in an instant, he was in possesion of it...
 

Soshi flew forward and smacked Yoshi in the face with both feet and his tail. The green dinosaur fell backward, but quickly was on his feet, only to return to the ground when Soshi punched forward. Instead of standing up this time, Yoshi kicked Soshi in the kneecaps, then twirled on his back to trip the dragon with his tail. Yoshi flipped up once Soshi was on the ground and performed a devastating Ground Pound on Soshi’s back. The blue Yoshi of the sky was ferocious and took to the air.

“I see we’re using defensive fighting now,” Yoshi taunted.

“Fungah to you!” Soshi snorted. “I’m just showing why all Land Yoshis are far inferior to the Yoshis of the Sky!”

“If your kind is so superior, how come you’re the only one left?” Yoshi asked.

Soshi didn’t respond with a snappy comeback. He couldn’t think of anything to say. But he was definitely enraged. The fierce winged Yoster made a dive for his green opponent. Yoshi had been waiting for this to happen, and prepared for his best attack, the Egg Roll. Once inside an enormous egg, Yoshi shot forward and with expert timing crashed into the spastic Soshi. The Sky Yoster was knocked back with an incredible force and slammed into the mast. Soshi opened his eyes and stood up. He walked away from the striken pole and to the side of the ship, where he proceeded to throw up over the edge. The pile of puke landed near an ominous fin swimming near the ship. Soshi turned back and found Yoshi smiling, tapping his foot and yawning, mostly looking as if he had won.

“What’re you so gleeful about?” Soshi asked. “All you did was make me vomit!”

Yoshi closed his eyes and shook his head. Before Soshi could say something else, the green dinosaur pointed upward. Soshi followed his finger to the still shaking mast and continued up to the crow’s nest, where a wobbling Whomp was teetering over the edge. Soshi’s eyes widened as the giant gray block plunged over the edge and toward him.

“NO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!” Soshi cried.

BOOM!!! Yoshi watched the dust settle. Whomp, who still had the large barrel of TNT strapped to his back, was now completely flat on the deck... just a few decimeters from Soshi. The blue dragon gasped and was estatic.

“I...” Soshi started in disbelief, “I’m ALIVE!!!”

For some reason Torte shouted out, “RUN!!!!”

“You... you thought I’d be squashed again, but oh no! With your trump card spent, I will now finish you off, once and for all!” Soshi roared.

Soshi flapped his wings, just getting off the ground when an enormous Great White Blurp breeched the surface of the water and jumped up at the dragon. Its maw opened up and swallowed Soshi whole before returning to the deep blue sea. Yoshi looked on with his jaw dropped. Whomp stood up slowly, cartoon Goonies circling his head.

“Urr... Urr?”

Embert looked down from the crow’s nest. “Heads up!”
 

Mini Moi and Dimplestick continued their clash in an increased speed. The two of lesser height persisted in their extreme skurmish that had seemed fairly equal. But then Mini Moi was ready for a finisher. The clone swung the POCKET PAN OF PAIN with fury, slamming Dimplestick hard and across the side of the ship. While his opponent slowly recovered, Mini Moi quickly tipped all four cannons upward and loaded them. As Dimplestick stood up and rushed back into the fray, a pink laser was fired. The young shark watched the laser hit the fuse of one cannon, igniting it instantly. The cannon fired, and Dimplestick carefully dodged the metal ball as it fell down to the deck. The cannon ball did not penetrate, but rolled to the lower side of the ship. Mini Moi growled and fired two more lasers. Dimplestick watched the two cannonballs shoot up, and begin to descend. The shark jumped as far as he could, but only dodged one cannon ball. The second shot hit him hard on the back, causing him to spit out one of his sharp teeth.

“Mwa ha ha ha ha!” Mini Moi laughed in his high-pitched voice.

The tiny Torte aimed for the final cannon with his pea-shooter pan, and fired another laser. Dimplestick reached for his skewer and threw the weapon at the blast. The pink ray was deflected and fired back at Mini Moi. He gave a short cry before getting blasted with it. Dimplestick dragged himself to his fins and limped over to the fallen miniature moron. Johnny’s nephew grabbed Mini Moi by the ankles and dragged him along the deck, setting him inside the last cannon. Mini Moi awoke and poked his head out into the light. He saw Dimplestick starting a tiny flicker of flame on the very tip of his spear, lighting the fuse with it. As the fuse burned, Dimplestick gave a swift kick to the cannon, throwing its aim far off into the outward sky. The cannon fired, and Mini Moi clutched onto a cannon ball flying away with an intense speed.

“Mon dieu!!!”
 

Johnny slashed forward with his trident, just missing the title-less Torte. The bald Koopa jumped backward each time Johnny struck.

“I’ve had enough of this!” Johnny shouted.

The red shark jumped into the sky, Torte looked up and gave a hoarse cry as he came back down. The foreigner fled backward but was stopped by a too-familiar wall. Jonathon Jones, at his most powerful, landed right in front of the kooky chef. He growled and extended his skewer.

“Do you know what pirates do to posers?” Johnny asked.

Torte swallowed hard. “... No.”

“They make ‘em walk he plank,” Johnny answered.

“Okay. I suppose I could deal viz zat. It’s right oveir zhere, vhy don’t ve go?” Torte suggested.

“But tha’s not what I do with posers!” Johnny threatened.

Torte whimpered under the looming Johnny. “Vat... do you do?”

“I make mincemeat of ‘em!” Johnny proclaimed.

The massive, super-strong shark of pure red swung his trident twice horizontally, and a third time vertically. Each slice was dealt with such a force to break a concrete wall. Torte wobbled, drooling blood from his lip in front of Johnny.

“I now recall ze downside of being a supeirvillain...” Torte fell to the floor, unconscious.

Johnny powered down, restoring his natural blue color. Yoshi and Dimplestick walked over to join him. Jinx arrived as well.

“Nicely done Johnny!” Yoshi said.

“Thanks mate. Hope me an’ my nephew were of help,” Johnny replied.

“Yeah, you guys were great! And...” Yoshi turned to look at the cove, and saw a red fireball with a golden aura rocketing to the shoreline. “Johnny! I need to ask you one last favor!”

“Anythin’ mate,” Johnny said.

“STOP THAT PODOBOO!!!” Yoshi shouted.

“We’re on it!” Johnny said. “But what about you?”

“I’ll take care of things here, and make sure to bring the foreign guy when I leave. There’s no reason to let him off the hook so easily. Some jail time could do him some good,” Yoshi explained. “I’ll rejoin you quickly, but stop that fireball!”

“Yoshi, what should I do?” Jinx asked.

“Go with them, that item he’s in possession of will give him incredible strength,” Yoshi instructed.

Jinx nodded and jumped on top of Johnny, seizing hold of his dorsal fin. Johnny and his nephew dove into the water and sped after the escaping Torch. Yoshi looked after concerned, but knew he had to take care of things here first.

“Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!”

“What the?” Yoshi said.

The green dinosaur turned to see Torte up on his feet, miraculously. He smiled evily and placed his chef hat onto his head.

“But... you were nearly dead!” Yoshi exclaimed.

“Nearly, ist your key verd,” CHEF Torte said, tossing an empty Pick-Moi-Up bottle off the side of the ship. He picked up his PAN OF PERIL and looked back to the green Yoshi. “You know I alvays did like myself zis vay betteir. I mean, it haf such a betteir title...”

“You’re quite mad, you know,” Yoshi taunted.

The foreign Terrapin looked back coldly with a wily grin upon his face.

“No, I am CHEF TORTE! MASTER OF EVIL AND CULINARY ARTS!!!”

Chapter 66: WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!!

The Chancellor stared out of the large windows of the throne room in the Royal Castle, sighing, the sight of fire and war very discomforting. Ever since the four beasts known as the Reznor crawled upon the land, horrifying flames covered the battlefield. King Toadstool sat contently in his large throne, playing with a Game Boy Camera. Along another side of the room was Toadsworth, who nervously paced back and forth, the tapping of his cane getting louder with each turn. Fice T, the lone guard inside the castle, gasped as the door opened and fumbled with his spear, finally pointing it at the intruder. The Chancellor and Toadsworth looked right away, but were relieved greatly when it was simply Toad. The youthful Mushroom Retainer carried a weak Mallow on his back.

“Oh dear! What happened to the Nimbian Prince?” Toadsworth asked.

Toad gently placed Mallow onto the floor. “He’s been attacked by a monster named Kumquat. He and Yoshi appeared in the battlefield, after barely escaping the Inferno!”

“SPORES ALIVE!!! Did you just say that they ventured from the Inferno?!” the Chancellor said, shocked.

“Yes, I know it’s quite a perplexing story but now is not the time to tell it. Prince Mallow needs to be healed so he can help us defend the kingdom! Is Chef Spore still in the castle?” Toad questioned.

“Hmm, I gave the word for all to evacuate, but I didn’t actually see him leave. There is a chance he’s still down in the kitchen,” Toadsworth replied.

“We can only hope. Watch Mallow while I run to check...” Toad said, leaving the room.
 

“BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” the Koopa King laughed. “What a day to be alive! Fire everywhere, screams of pain, and best of all, giant monsters at my command!”

Bowser stared down at the destruction below from his Koopa Jet. Admiral Jade, still at the controls, flipped a few more switches before speaking.

“Yes King Koopa, but don’t you find it strange that our communications with Clever Guy and the Cerberus have been disabled?” Jade questioned.

“Normally I would worry, but not today! I’m guaranteed victory! It said so in my horoscope!” Bowser explained, not noticing Jade roll her eyes. “And besides, I’ve got a second master control remote right here. Nothing can go wrong.”

“Well, what about those four giant Ice Birdo-things?” Jade asked.

“Well that’s why we’ve got the Breaker Beam prepared! Are we in range?” the Koopa King asked.

“Indeed sire. Shall I open fire?” Admiral Jade asked.

“Yes... wait, no,” King Bowser responded.

“No?” Jade asked, confused.

“Let us see how the Reznor will handle themselves. We’ll only step in if there’s a problem beating these beasts!” Bowser ordered.

The Koopa Jet continued to hover defensively above the four Reznor, which continued to near the four Anglor. The Koopa King watched excitedly as the monsters met. At first they stood still, studying each other silently. Then a few grunts and growls were exchanged between groups. Bowser’s thumb pressed down on the button and a shock of green electricity was emitted through the Four Bringers of Fire, jolting them into anger, thus starting the battle. One Reznor pounced forward, pinning an Anglor to the ground. The three other Ice Birdos flapped their wings and floated into the air. Three orbs of ice and snow fired out of their mouths and onto the back of the attacking Reznor. It cried in pain as an icy coat condensed along its back. The Anglor creature underneath it let loose a furious punch and rolled out from under the beast. The three monsters of snow flying in the air were then bombarded with mammoth fireballs belched out from the three Reznor creatures still unharmed. The epic struggle continued between the two forces of Plit when a second airship flew into view bearing a symbol of a chef’s hat on its side. Bowser snarled at the second ship.

“Who is that?!” Bowser demanded.

“I’m not sure, it does not appear to be of the Mushroom Kingdom...” Jade mentioned.

“Well it’s not one of ours. Fire the Breaker Beam!” Bowser commanded.

“By your word King Koopa,” Jade said, activating the machine.

The statue of Bowser’s head at the front of the aircraft opened widely again, small particles of white energy being drawn into the laser cannon. Once enough energy was gathered, a white glow rested briefly inside the statue’s mouth. Ultimately, the beam of white energy was fired and launched across the black sky, approaching its target rapidly, until BOOM! The blast had hit dead on. But amazingly, it continued to float above the ground, and no damage was visible.

“Inconcievable! We hit it with complete force! What went wrong?” Bowser asked.

“I... I do not know. The Breaker Beam should have torn right through it,” Admiral Jade replied.

Bowser turned about and faced Jade, fire in his eyes. “Recharge the weapon! It can’t survive two blasts!!!”

~*~*~*~

“Great job with the dark shield at the last moment there, Reaper.” Genius Guy congratulated.

“Yeah, we were nearly toast!” Changling added.

The ghastly king of Glum Reapers nodded in response, keeping a hard grip on his powerful scythe, which continued to transmit the Reaper’s dark powers into a magical shield forming around the small craft.

“That appears to be a ship of Bowser’s,” Changling mentioned. “He’s too stubborn to stop attacking us. And even your shield won’t hold out forever against his Breaker Beam. Genius Guy, let’s fly in and blast him out of the sky before he can do the same to us!”

“Aye aye, Changling the Red!” Genius Guy said while saluting.

The Shy Guy in red pushed a large lever, one bigger then his head, all the way forward it could muster. A green light blipped on and off repeatedly and the aircraft flew forward towards Bowser’s Koopa Jet.  Genius Guy hopped from his current position and into a chair high in the cockpit with a small monitor just big enough for a pair of eyes to view. The mastermind subordinate of Torte squinted to peer at the battlefield of the great behemoths’ fight. Both of his enrobed hands grabbed hold of a wheel and pulled up and to the left. The ship rose to the corresponding direction, a sense of weightlessness filled Changling and the Reaper’s stomachs. Proceeding the manuever, Genius Guy now witnessed the Koopa Jet, the Breaker Beam nearly charged as an ominous white light continued to gather in the maw of the Koopa King’s statue.

“Arm the pulse cannons!” Genius Guy commanded. “Make haste!”

The Magikoopa and the ghost took a moment to obey these orders dealt by their equal, but once doing so made sure to follow through precisely as had been told. Changling entered the right corridor of the ship, and the Grand Glum Reaper to the left. Each side had a tank full of powerful orbs, glowing with a purple light. Tendrils of lightning flickered from the red center and out to the surface of the sphere. Changling and the Reaper lifted the orbs and placed them into the appropriate area, thus arming the ship’s cannons. Once a suitable amount of ammunition was loaded, both Terrorites pressed a switch, sending the A.O.K. to Genius Guy in the cockpit. A wily smile, much like his current employer’s, curled upon Genius Guy’s lips.

“Steady, ready, aim and... FIRE!!!” the Shyster shouted.

The wheel split into two control sticks, each with a red button on the top. Genius Guy aimed the joysticks and slammed his thumbs onto the button. Outside of Torte’s craft, two large cannons appeared from either side of the ship, glowing with the purple energy of the orbs inside them. Bowser watched fearfully as the weapons were drawn. He turned his gaze to Admiral Jade, who appeared to be frantically working the main laser. The front of the Koopa Jet turned and both aircrafts faced each other as both sides’ weapons fired...
 

Dasher and Merlink watched the fierce clash of white and purple collide together above the hideous monsters, who did not deviate from their battle to notice. A cataclysmic explosion of massive proportion occurred in the center of the two ships. The blast continued to grow, reaching towards the aircrafts that fired. Suddenly a spark, two bolts of lavender lightning, reached out from the core of the explosion and struck both ships. A few minor booms and fires set, and the pair of ships began to drift to the ground in opposite directions, the Koopa Jet heading towards the Fungi Fields outside the walls of the Mushroom Village, and Chef Torte’s airship making a descent near the Mushroom Way close to the two freedom fighters.

“Dasher, let us exterminate the remainders of Torte’s ship. The crash would not have killed them,” Merlink said.

“Yeah, besides, this could be our only chance to get any kind of a final battle in this story!” Dasher replied.

Merlink rolled his eyes and sighed, muttering something inaudible. He began rushing to the fallen ship, with Dasher folllowing suit. The citizens of the Mushroom Village watched on, but one stepped out and persued after the duo...
 

Splooshi and his comrades charged forth to the grown children of Bowser. Splooshi came to fight Larry, Orchil to Wendy, the Master to Roy, Genji to Morton, and Roshi III to Iggy. Splooshi crashed his head into Larry’s gut, launching the small Koopa across the ship. He landed with a thud, and a sore back. Splooshi stood smiling for a moment, astonished at his feat of strength. Fortunately the Yoster regained his composure quickly, as Larry wasn’t too happy of the act. A small ball of fire leapt from the turtle’s jaws and jumped along the Warrior Wing towards the blue dinosaur. Splooshi sprang into the air to dodge the bouncing ball of flames. Larry belched out two more, and followed after his heated exhales back to battle with Splooshi.

Wendy twirled around speedily and flung out a pair of her deadly rings. They enlarged through the air as they came ever closer to their target, Orchil. The sharp sprite of Flora Isle fancifully disposed of the two rings with her sacred arrows. The single daughter of Bowser grumbled at the destuction of her magic rings, and pounced forward. The frightening Koopa unsheathed her long pink-colored nails and crashed down on Orchil. One slice across her blue face, and another across her right arm and side tearing into her green dress. Blood, as red as any other’s, oozed out from the slashes. Orchil clenched her teeth together and forced herself to continue. She flipped her strong bow upward, punching an end into Wendy’s stomach. The wind knocked out of her, Wendy rolled off of Orchil and gasped for air. The yellow-eyed girl of the tropics jumped to her feet and drew an arrow. Wendy opened her eyes and saw the tip of the arrow centimeters from her snout. She cursed through a closed mouth and glared up at a smiling Orchil.

“I’m not one to know the hottest looks, but I’m sure bald isn’t something you’d want to see on a girl,” Orchil taunted.

Wendy erupted with anger. First she vomited out a fireball, sending Orchil off her feet and onto the ground once again. Then she shrank inside of her pink shell and flipped upright. As soon as Orchil managed to stand up, Wendy gave a swift jolt to her legs from her large shell. The blue-skinned biped fell to the ground once again. Only this time, it wouldn’t be so easy getting up. She felt her legs pounding, they were not broken, but injured badly to a point where walking was not an option. She looked back and saw Wendy’s shell making a u-turn; ahead of her just out of her reach, was the bow. Orchil yearned and reached for it.

“What a funny little fungi! Youse think you can take me?” Roy chortled.

The fighting fury of The Master was supressed still, as the Mushroomer with a cold face grunted back to Roy. “One who relies on his strength to come from his gluttony is someone who has already lost.”

Roy slammed his foot on the ground, causing quite a shake. “Did you just call me fat?! I’m gonna smash you up so good!”

“I grow bored of your chatter,” The Master responded.

The mighty Mushroomer rocketed forward, giving Roy a good jab in the stomach. He then veered left and turned to the back of the Koopaling. He placed a hand on Roy’s center spike, and pushed himself upward. The Master landed his jump hardly on Roy’s bare head. The fat Koopa fell forward on his face. The Master backflipped off in a spectacular fashion. The strong fungus grabbed a tight hold of Roy’s tail, and began twirling about.

“I learned this technique from Master Mario!” The Master informed.

Roy looked up and saw the blurry scene of the Warrior Wing. He felt like puking when abruptly the spinning stopped. The Master released his grasp and sent Roy flying to the other side of the doomship. The obese Terrapin crashed through a few floors, landing deep inside of the Warrior Wing. The ship itself felt the impact, and the front end lifted into the air, almost taking the combatant’s floor from beneath them. Once the ship settled again, the fight continued.

Genji T drew his sword and slashed forward, causing Morton to back further with each slice.

“You seem pretty confident for just a twerp, you know. Bull-headedness will be the end of you!” Morton spat.

“And I will be the end of you,” Genji said, thrusting forward in a giant leap.

Morton gasped as he felt the blade pierce his rough exterior and slightly poke into his true body beneath the shell. He cried out in anger and pain, pulling the sword out from his split shell. Genji climbed to his feet and smiled, jumping out of the way as Morton tossed the sword at him. The gray face of the Koopa turned red.

“You rotten punk!!!” Morton screamed. “I’m going to crush you!”

Morton Koopa Junior removed a weapon from his broken shell, a large battleaxe that looked faintly familiar to Genji.

“You see this axe?” Morton asked. “It used to belong to my father, but he stupidly let it sit at the end of a bridge. I’m going to use it to chop off that spore on top of your melon!”

Genji felt a tad more nervous now, looking to his sword that now teetered over the very edge of the Warrior Wing. Morton swung horizontally twice, out of reach of Genji, but not by much. The Koopa smiled and began to step forward, carrying the axe over his shoulder with both claws. The youthful shroomer jumped back and rolled along the deck to grab his sword. His fingers ran along it when the sword began to drop off the edge. Genji continued reaching for it, falling from the ship himself. With one hand he grabbed the sword, and the other clutched to the Warrior Wing, not wanting to fall to his death. He looked back to the ship when he was certain the sword was in his hand, and began pulling himself upward when the image of a gloating Morton leaned over the edge of the ship.

“Uh oh! Looks like our hero’s in a cliche climax! Whatchagonnado?!”

Roshi III jumped above Iggy’s green spheres of magic sent out from his Magikoopa Wand. The red Yoster fluttered above the blue-scaled Koopaling and landed behind him. Iggy turned around just in time to get slammed with an egg. He angrily wiped the yolk off of his face and looked for his opponent. Roshi had fled the scene. Iggy turned back around and was pelted with more eggs, this time enough to push him to the ground. Iggy dropped the Magic Wand and pulled off his glasses, wiping them clean. He restored his spectacles to their former position and reached for the wand, touching something sticky and hot. He looked in bewilderment to find Roshi’s tongue in his hand. Iggy shouted out in disgust and retracted his claw as the tongue of the dinosaur wrapped around the Magic Gand. Iggy gasped and jumped forward to stop it, only too late. Roshi swallowed the wand, rendering Iggy weaponless.

“You stupid Yoshi! What a pathetic species! I liked it so much better when I made your kind shudder back when I ruled over your heartland!” Iggy blurted.

Roshi stared at Iggy with a kind of confused look, and then entered a smile into the mix. Iggy fumed but Roshi hiccupped. A green bubble of energy popped out of Roshi’s lips and burst on Iggy, sending him two meters away. The nerd of the Koopas stared back puzzled as green smoke billowed from the nostrils of an ill-appearing Roshi III. The dinosaur hiccupped again, belching out a second bubble of green that floated towards Iggy. He cried out and felt the bubble burst on top of him...
 

Kammy Koopa cut through the fog, back out to sea in search of the Devastator. In her arms lay an unconscious Vermik; though she hated the vile slime, he was essential to keeping Kamek alive. Another thicket of clouds parted and the sight of the Devastator was ahead, and there lying in a puddle of blood was the fallen Kamek still in Vermik’s form. The sorceress quickly swooped down and landed roughly, still being quite exhausted from her previous struggle with the warlock in black. She tossed Vermik’s limp body onto the deck and searched through his sleeves, finding the orange-jeweled scepter. Kammy gave it a meek thrust toward the dying Kamek, making his true form resurface. It was even more difficult for her to carry on, seeing the true Kamek nearly dead like that. Her craggedy claws pulled open the blue cloak and revealed the morbid stab wound in the Magikoopa’s stomach. Already the blood loss would have killed any normal Terrapin. Kammy stared at Kamek, knowing that time was running out. She closed her mouth and rose both Vermik’s and Kamek’s wands to the black sky.

“There’s only one option left...” Kammy whispered. The witch in purple looked back to the wizard in black. “Curse you Vermik! Now I will never have the delight of seeing death upon your face.”

Kammy stood up, looking at both of them once more before closing her eyes. She began to mumble something, and continued to grow louder. It was an encantation, in some bizarre language that seemed impossible for a Koopa’s tongue to speak. The already dark sky became darker, with bolts of purple lightning raining down to the bay. The crystals atop the scepters glowed eerily with their respective colors. A loud rumbling noise sounded, and continued in a mechanical fashion. A red light shined lightly on Kamek’s bare chest, near his heart with the repeating noise. A second rumbling noise sounded when Kamek’s rested. A faint orange glow poked from underneath the black robes Vermik was clothed with. The rumbling beats continued and soon synchonized with one another.

Once perfectly together, a spark flashed in the center of the two wands. Then several sparks erupted in the central area between both magical rods. Afterward a thin, weak jolt of lightning from both wands zapped out and touched each other. Upon impact, the wands glowed with a massive magnitude, as well as the lights from Kamek and Vermik’s chests. The small, meek lightning strands connecting exploded into thick, multiple bolts and strikes that continued to collided together in a furious clash of red and orange. A second bolt of lightning from each wand zapped into the center of the light, appearing on both Kamek’s and Vermik’s chests. The light on Vermik’s became more visible now, as the bolt seared through his cloak to the spot above his heart. A black aura surrounded the orange bolt pouring into Vermik, and seemed to pour back into the wand, rather than the bolt’s pouring into Vermik. This happened with Kamek as well, only the aura was a dark blue. This continued until another, much larger and magnificent spark of energy clashed in the center of both threads of lightning from each wand. As the spark grew, the bolt of lightning going into Kamek changed orange, and the bolt going into Vermik became red...

~*~*~*~

Ryanoshi, Crazy Koopa and Blue Boo walked onto the massacred battlefield once again. Many things had changed in the short time they had been gone. All of the infantry skurmishes and foot soldier battles were long ceased. Instead soldiers from both sides of the fight fled in terror from the monstrous behemoths and roaring fires that now plagued the Fungi Fields.

“A second foursome of fierce beasts has arrived on the scene,” Blue Boo observed.

“Yeah, they look to have ice powers...” Crazy Koopa said.

“Which ones should we be cheering for?” Blue asked. “Ryanoshi? What is it?”

The green Yoster had turned away from the battlefield, now staring back out to the gloomy bay the trio had just escaped from. Blue Boo and Crazy Koopa turned to look back, becoming entranced with the spectacle of glowing lights that Ryanoshi had been so fixed on. The Yoshi lowered his eyelids and frowned.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have left in such a rush...”

~*~*~*~

Everything was dark, but then a bright light appeared, with a familiar figure out of focus.

“Look! Look! The Prince is awaking!”

A second figure rushed in.

“Mallow?! Can you hear me?!”

Finally vision was restored to the Nimbian Prince, and he found the two looking down upon him to be Toad and Toadsworth.

“Huh? Where am I?” Mallow asked groggily, rubbing his head while sitting up.

“Mallow, you’re in the Mushroom Castle! A nasty demon by the name of Kumquat had injured you, but now you’re better!” Toad praised. “It’s all thanks to Chef Spore.”

The castle cook ruffled his brown mustache and chuckled. “Aw, I’m just glad to help.”

“Kumquat!” Mallow said, springing to his feet. “Oh no! It’s all coming back to me... the treasure, the war, the Reznor!”

“Master Mallow! Perhaps it’d be best for you to rest a bit longer...” Toadsworth suggested.

“No, I can’t rest! They need my help out there! Thank you all for reviving me, but I’ve got to go give my dues in battle!” Mallow said, running out the door. “And you make a terrific soup, Chef Spore!”

“Well, I did place second at that televised cook-off not too long ago...” Chef Spore gruffled.

The Chancellor looked away from the window. “Toad, please go with Prince Mallow. We do not want to foul up relations with Nim-”

“Already way ahead of you Chancellor!” Toad replied, rushing to catch Mallow.

“Oh dear!” King Toadstool said abruptly, drawing all attention in the room. “I just realized I hadn’t tucked my daughter into bed yet...”

The King hopped out of his chair and waddled to the door when Toadsworth spoke up. “Um, my highness, your daughter has been kidnapped by another fiend, I’m afraid.”

King Toadstool stared back at Toadsworth for a moment, in complete confusion. But then a curt smile appeared on his majesty’s face. “Great! Then there’s no need for me to climb those awful stairs! Back to my chair I go...”

The Chancellor looked back out the window at the grim battlefield. “Oh Princess Toadstool, our hearts are with you.”
 

Dasher and Merlink arrived at the crash site of the Team of Terror airship. A few areas of billowing smoke and several tears into the craft were the most damage done. It certainly wasn’t air-worthy anymore. The Shaman and the Koopa walked through the cluttered rubbage scattered around the ship, and peered into one of the large holes.

“Hello? Anybody alive in there?” Dasher called.

Dasher was responded by three fast figures popping out of the same hole and smacking into his face as they went.

“Ow! That hurt!” Dasher grumbled.

The three figures reappeared in a glamorous style before the wizard and the apprentice. The center pupil stepped forward, transforming his green-orbed wand into a microphone. Cheesy gameshow music sounded from all angles.

“Hello ladies and germs, and welllllllllllllllllllllllcome to your doom! Allow myself to introduce us three! My name’s Changling, I’m the red Magikoopa with a nack for shapeshifting. I’m the honorary leader for the Team of Terror should Chef Torte or his clone not be able to carry out their duties!” Changling announced.

Dasher and Merlink watched, awestrucken with utter perplexion. Changling smiled with a bright shine on his teeth while Genius Guy and the Grand Glum Reaper background danced.

“To my right, your left that is, we come to the Team of Terror’s one and only spin-off-getting character, Genius Guy!” Changling said.

Genius Guy threw a red wig into the air and bent down on his knees. “THANK YOU SEATTLE!!!”

Changling continued. “Our own Genius Guy comes from Sub-con, the land of dreams inside everyone’s head that’s only 40 percent real! His hobbies include tinkering, thinkering, and slinkering!”

“Everyone knows it’s SLINKY!!!” Genius Guy said, holding the very amusing toy in his hands.

“And last, but certainly not least, we come to the tall, dark stranger of the Team of Terror, the Grand Glum Reaper!” The ghostly fiend looked up and stared into Merlink and Dasher’s eyes, holding his scythe tightly. “The Reaper’s got dibbs on being the most mysterious and least annoying member of our handful of melty chocloate characters you couldn’t help but eat up! If any flavor, he’d be DARK chocolate!”

“Oooh, exotic!” Genius Guy said, playing with the slinky.

“The Grand Glum Reaper is the quiet type, but is a Star Wars fanatic! He even likes those terrible prequels!” Changling quickly moved on when receiving a glare from his comrade. “Erm... he also enjoys Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain!”

And as you guessed, Genius Guy began to sing the song.

“Now that you’ve met your destroyers,” Changling announced, “it’s time to die! Trio of Terror! ATTACK!!!”

The threesome of misfit minions charged forth and attempted to beat the pulp out of Dasher and Merlink. However the two easily dodged five minutes ago when the gameshow sequence started.

“Hey! They cheated!” Changling grunted. “No one gets away with that when I’m around! Form of... GENIUS GUY!!!”

Changling rose his green wand and cast the magic spell to transform into Genius Guy. The two Shysters stood side by side, looking exactly alike in a flawless rendition by the Magikoopa.

“Time for DOUBLE TROUBLE!!!” the Genius Guys shouted.

Both raised their hands and took in deep breaths. They started forward, stepping on their tippy toes, and leapt at the bystanding, confused duo. But with the leap came the inevitable fall. Both Genius Guys missed the jump and fell flat on their faces. Changling turned back into his true self, but remained on the ground, sore.

“Ow... why did I forget that you’re terrible in combat situations?!” Changling asked.

“Because...” Genius Guy turned to Changling, also defeated. “TEH SLINKY P00NZ J00!!!”

“It’s up to you, Grand Glum Reaper!!!” Changling sighed.

The dark poltergeist’s eyes blasted bright green for a split second before he floated forward. The fearsome ghost actually generated a threat in Dasher and Merlink. The two stepped back warily, but the Reaper only persued, pulling back its scythe...

“NOT SO FAST!!!”

A figure in silouhette jumped on top of the fallen airship, and turned a device on. Dasher and Merlink watched as the Grand Glum Reaper panicked, being sucked backward towards the figure. A bolt of green lightning was shot from the Reaper’s right hand/fin-thing, just missing Merlink. With his final attack dealt, the Reaper was sucked into the device and the figure stepped forward, showing off his goofy smile.

“E. GADD!!!” Dasher shouted.

“Now now, there’s no reason to be frightened!” Professor Gadd chuckled.

“Thank you for helping us with that ghost, Gadd was it?” Merlink said.

“Yes. And you are lucky I was visiting the Mushroom Village, opening up a new Starbeans Cafe. Otherwise you might have had to take on that baddy by yourself. Hahahahahahaha!” E. Gadd laughed.

“Well I’m surprised you have the Poltergeist 3000 with you, that sure was lucky!” Dasher exclaimed.

“Oh no no no no! This is not the Poltergeist 3000, this is the Portable B.A.S.S. I invented,” Gadd explained.

“B.A.S.S.? That sounds familiar...” Changling mumbled, standing up.

“There are copyright laws in this world, you know!” Genius Guy threatened, hopping to his feet.

“Ah yes, hello there. I suppose you’d like to join your friend now? Hahahahaha!” Gadd chuckled, turning on the portable B.A.S.S.

Changling and Genius Guy screamed as they were sucked into the device. E. Gadd chuckled again once the two were inside.

“That sure was convenient, but what’re you gonna do with them?” Dasher asked.

“Oh, I’ve been wanting to test out the blowing capabilities of this device for some time now. Hohohohoho! Let us see what happens to out friends on full blast!” Gadd said, throwing the switch and aiming to the northern Vista Sea.

A gust of incredible force burst out of the nozzle, as well as the three Terrorites. They quickly disappeared into the sky within seconds. Gadd shut off the machine before it launched him to the ground.

“Oh hohohohoho! I guess it works!” Gadd laughed.

Suddenly a flame of gold rocketed across the field and right near the three of them. Merlink and Dasher exchanged a worried look, then bolted after the fireball. Gadd looked after them confused, but continued to the Mushroom Way, back with the other residents.

~*~*~*~

Larry belched out another fireball, but Splooshi had found a discarded mallet left by one of the Hammer Bros aboard the ship. The blue dinosaur swung forcifully at the incoming ball of heat and flame, swatting it away with the powerful hammer. Larry was impressed by the feat but ready with his own flame-resistant tennis racket. He swatted forward and smacked the fireball back to Splooshi. Splooshi back to Larry. Back to Splooshi. Back to Larry. To Splooshi. To Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi. Larry. Splooshi...

WHAM!!!

Goodness Gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!! The fireball had smashed back into the Koopa that had given it birth.  Larry panicked once recovering from the smack of flames on his face, finding his beloved blue hair ablaze.

“AGGAH!!! Not my hair! It’s all I’ve got left to antagonize Wendy and the other baldies!!!” Larry cried.

Splooshi whipped his face forward and gushed out a trail of yellow acidic fruit juice. Larry recoiled in pain. Now his face was burning worse than his hair. The Koopaling plopped to the ground and began to roll around in an attempt to stop the burning, all the while squealing like a pig looking for its tail.

The ferocious pink shell of Wendy raced toward Orchil, who strained herself to reach her only weapon. A touch was made, then another. Finally the bow was in Orchil’s hands. The blue sprite quickly armed it and fired towards Wendy. The arrow landed right in front of Wendy’s whirring shell. The shell slid over it, and instead of breaking the arrow, the shell was knocked upward by the arrow’s strong material holding its ground. Wendy emerged from her shell in a fury, and stomped over to Orchil. The red-headed island girl stared up at the frightening Koopa, too late to reload her bow with another arrow. Wendy grasped Orchil’s shirt and pulled her up off of the ground, staring her in the eyes.

“You little witch! How dare you make fun of my hairstyle! Besides, I’m far better looking than you, twerp! And look at your freaky blue skin! You’re uglier than Iggy!” Wendy screamed in anger and tossed Orchil to the ground. The weak sprite looked up in fright as Wendy approached again. “Well you won’t have to live ugly anymore, you’ll only have to suffer it in death!”

“NO!!!” Orchil shouted, firing an arrow incredibly fast.

The arrow stabbed into Wendy’s left arm. “AAHH!!!” The enraged Koopaling stared with fiery eyes to Orchil. “YOU!!! YOU WON’T GET AWAY, YOU CAN’T RUN! YOUR LEGS ARE USELESS!!! SO WHY DON’T I JUST ROAST THEM OFF?!”

Fire gathered in Wendy’s throat, but just before releasing a cloud of flames, a swift kick in the back of the knee knocked Wendy on her feet, and the fireball trapped in her throat. Splooshi walked forward and lifted Orchil onto his saddle.

“I’ll be your legs until yours heal, Orchil,” Splooshi said.

“Thanks Splooshi! I thought I was a goner...” Orchil said.

Wendy continued to choke on her fireball, when Larry came rolling over and crashed into his older sister. She tried to scream but couldn’t make it. They simply batted back and forth between each other.

Genji shoved his sword back into its sheath and grabbed the side with both hands. Morton dropped the axe down and nearly hit one of Genji’s hands, but the Mushroomer let go with that hand before it could be diced.

“Smart one are we?” Morton asked. “Can you figure out how to get out of this one?”

Morton stamped his foot on Genji’s remaining hand, sending extreme pain to the short Shroom. Genji shouted but only for a moment, repressing his pain. He couldn’t hold on for much longer, and he knew that Morton wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. His dangling hand reached back and grasped the hilt of his blade. In one swift motion, Genji unsheathed his sword, tossed it upward, smacking Morton in the face with the butt-end of the blade. The Koopa fell back and off Genji’s hand. The Mushroomer reached up with his good hand, pulled himself upward with a jump, and grabbed the falling sword with his opposite hand. He placed it in both hands at the height of his jump, and thrust it forward as he descended, stabbing into Morton’s shell a second time. This strike cut into the Koopa deeper, causing more pain. Morton yelped out and bit his lip. Genji pulled out the sword and jumped off the chubby Troopa.

“Do you admit defeat?” Genji asked.

Morton grumbled, using his arms to lift himself up. “I’ll never be beaten, by such a... lowly worm as you!” The silveresque turtle came to his feet and lifted the axe again, this time with both hands. Morton Jr glared down at the competent Fungi; he seemed fine, but Morton was injured with two gashes in his thick shell and a large bruise that began to throb on his head. His claw wiped the trickle of blood from out of the corner of his mouth, and the royal prince laughed. “Ha ha ha! I’ve been treating you like a Mario Brother, when I’ve got to remember, you’re just a worthless Toadstool! I don’t need a weapon to take care of you!”

Genji watched as the silver-shelled Koopa dropped the axe by his side and took a deep breath, filling his flame-enducing lungs. The warrior Mushroom waited until the last possible second before rushing out of the way. Morton belched out a massive cloud of fire only to miss Genji, who now was behind him. Morton closed his mouth and prepared to turn when he felt a great stinging sensation on his tail. Genji continued to slag at Morton’s tail with his sword, while the conversational Koop cried out.

“AAAGH!!!” Morton jumped around and glared at Genji. “NO ONE TOUCHES MY TAIL! IT’S VERY SENSITIVE!!!”

Morton leapt up into the air, spinning around in different directions before slamming back into the ground, causing several shockwaves to spread through the ship’s surface, Genji was blown back and landed hard on the ground. Morton laughed and sent a fast fireball the Mushroomer’s way. Genji deflected it away with his blade, but the Koopaling used the time to prepare another ground smash. The second shockwave sent out launched Genji T much farther down the ship, and separated the soldier from his weapon. Morton stepped forward to get in closer range of the Mushroomer and leapt into the air again, preparing another shockwave attack. Genji climbed to his feet and scrambled for his dropped sword. As Morton impacted the ground, Genji’s blade was in his hand. The Mushroomer stabbed the blade into the deck of the Warrior Wing and used it to spring forward at the Koopa. The Shockwave below him, Genji speedily flew at Morton, only when the perfect timing came he shoved his foot out in front of him and delivered a knock-out kick to the crummy Koopa. Morton received the full force of the kick on his nose and upper jaw, resulting in a bloody nostril and one less tooth. The Koopa of gray and silver fell onto his back and into a deep sleep. Genji smiled and retrieved his sword before running from the scene.

“I can’t believe this is happening!!” Iggy shouted, lying on the ground, very weak. “I’m gonna be killed by bubbles!”

The constrained Junior laughed through the bandana now used to keep him quiet.

“Oh, shut up Junior!” Iggy snarled.

Roshi walked over to the fallen Iggy and hiccupped again. Several bubbles glowing green hovered over to Iggy, where they explode, damaging the Koopa immensly.

“Ha ha! Roshi do good beat ‘em Koopa! HICCUP!” Roshi hiccupped.

A bubble of insane size emerged from Roshi’s mouth and into the air. Iggy stared up at the bubble that slowly and ominously loomed toward him. The Koopa swung his appendiges like a nutcase.

“No! NO! NO!!!” Iggy cried. “NOT LIKE THIS!!!”

The Koopa winced and closed his eyes, expecting the worst. However, the only thing that happened was a cold feeling of gelatin surrounding him. Iggy opened his eyes and gasped at the shocking predicament. He was inside the massive bubble! (Insert your gasp here, then laugh.) The blue shelled Koopaling stared below his feet to find the Warrior Wing’s deck slowly getting smaller.

“Wait... wait a second! HANG ON!!! LEMME OUT OF THIS BUBBLE!!!” Iggy spazzed.

“Rosheee! M’kay, bye bye!” Roshi said, waving.

Iggy continued to cry as he disappeared from sight. Roshi, Genji, Splooshi, Orchil and the Master gathered as a team once again.

“Well that wasn’t difficult,” The Master said.

“Yeah, but where’s the Mystic Moon?” Splooshi asked.

“Right here pal!” Scorch hissed.

The fivesome looked to the reptillian deviant, now grasping the silvery might of the Mystic Moon in his vile claws. The Reznoth cracked a smile and showed his spikey teeth.

“You! You’ll hand that over now if you know what’s good for ya!” Orchil threatened.

“Oh! Thiz one so scared!” Scorch snickered.

“I beat you last time!” Orchil sneered.

“Uh... you gotz lucky. Thiz one will now show the true might of the Mystic Moon! Are you ready to die?” Scorch asked, stepping forward to the group of five.

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAR!!!” came a thundering shout, as Roy leapt out from the hole previously made by him and slammed behind the lizard delinquent. All eyes turned on the tub of lard, who now seemed overconfident in victory. “RHA HA HA HA! I’ve got you this time!!! None of you will leave this ship alive!!!”

“What is it now, obese one?” The Master asked.

“SHUT UP! THOSE WHO DEFY THE KOOPA ARE TERMINATED!!!” Roy rumbled. The pink Koopa pulled out a Bob-omb from his shell and chuckled. “Heh heh, youse ready to survive a full-blown explosion? How do you like these apples?!” Roy snorted a small flicker of flame at the fuse, and the Bob-omb was activated. Roy pulled back his arm, prepared to throw it at the nervous group, when a loud popping noise sounded. “Eh? What was dat?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Iggy came crashing down through the dark clouds and in a blur of blue slammed into the Warrior Wing. The ship’s stability was violently disrupted, knocking all of the occupants to their feet. Scorch fell to the ground, releasing his grip on the silvery object he so desired. All watched the Mystic Moon tumble through the air and plummit to the ground below. Scorch snarled and stood up quickly, saying nothing and jumping after the item.

“COME ON!!!” Splooshi shouted, standing up and saddling Orchil again.

The blue Yoster followed quickly after the reptillian. The Master ran forward and jumped off as well. Genji leapt on Roshi’s back and rode his friend down off the ship. The beaten Koopalings gathered their composure and walked toward Roy and Iggy, rubbing their wounds.

“Roy... what happened?” Larry asked.

“I dunno. They... left!” Roy stated.

Junior began to cry out muffled noises.

“What’s his problem?” Wendy growled.

Morton stepped over to their unwanted brother and ripped the bandana from his mouth. “WHAT?!”

“YOU’VE STILL GOT THE BOB-OMB!!!” Junior shouted.

Roy looked into his hand, the fuse was almost gone. “AHH! Here, you have it!”

Roy tossed the Bob-omb to Iggy. “ACK! No way!”

The Bob-omb flew through the air towards Wendy, who simply screamed and swatted it away. The Bob-omb landed on it’s side and rolled down the stairway into the heart of the Warrior Wing. The Koopalings exchanged knowing looks before an appropriately-timed, “Uh oh.”
 

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

~*~*~*~

Kamek opened his eyes. A bright flash of purest, white light consumed all. The blue-cloaked Magikoopa stood up, only to find he couldn’t. He was floating in the nothingness of light. All of the more recent events of his life flashed before him. He silently gasped, and felt his chest. The gash was gone. Kamek pondered the predicament, folding his legs and placing his head on his open claw. A thought passed by the Koopa, Am I dead?! Kamek looked up automatically, wondering if a halo had appeared, finding nothing.

He then felt a sudden jerk in his chest, his heart pounded fiercly, painfully. The Magikoopa recoiled from his thinking position and grasped his enflamed chest with both claws. Instantly he was covered in a cold sweat, and breathing quickly. Pain flooded through his body, every vein burned as if magma flowed through them. Kamek saw a faint image begin to matierialize beyond the light. He felt his stomach split open again, the stab wound returning, blood gushing out. Kamek tried to scream but couldn’t. The image in front of him became darker, taking on a true shape. Lightning bolts surged outward from every part of Kamek’s body. The image was now a silhouette, something the Magikoopa had seen very recently. It began to fly forward towards Kamek. The pain increased, he was dying. If he had died, he was dying again. The form flew at him, now closer than the light. It was garbed in a black, flowing robe. An orange glow bellowed from its chest. Kamek squinted, trying to make out what it was when the figure confronted Kamek.

The spitting image of a translucent Vermik hovered in front of Kamek, as if not even noticing him. Kamek was about to say something when the most extreme pain yet flushed into him. His heart had exploded, Kamek saw the red light erupt from his chest. A tendril of the very same color crawled out and reached for another of an orange color reaching out from Vermik’s chest. The tendrils connected and Kamek felt like he was imploding. The faded Vermik was sucked into Kamek’s red, pounding, seething chest. The light shined a new tint, red-orange. Then the light faded, and darkness was above Kamek’s head. For the first time he heard something, his cousin’s exhausted, bitter voice.

“The bond is complete...”

~*~*~*~

Bowser stood up, rubbing his pounding head. “Yeeouch! That was an unfortunate occurrence... Admiral Jade? Jade?! Shoot, she’s not here. Good thing I’m a terrorist so I can’t get sued...”

“I’m here, King Koopa,” Jade said, pulling herself out of the rubble.

The tyrant of turtles nodded to his underling and looked around. The glorious Koopa Jet had been demolished in the crash. The crash site was just along the outskirts of the Mushroom Village, in fact, Bowser could see the Mushroom Castle from here. The monstrous behemoths Reznor and Anglor were farther away now, but still locked in battle. Wild gales blew from that direction, varying from extremely hot to bitter cold. Also from that direction sped a small speck of golden light. Bowser squinted and found the light coming up fast. He yelled when it was practically in front of him. The ball of fire shot under his legs, causing Bowser to jump in fright. The Koopa King looked back to the golden flame, not far off was he when an enormous, yellow bolt of lightning fell from the dark clouds above and smashed into it. Mallow stepped onto the scene, his hands raised when  the Podoboo resumed its natural red color and the Sacred Sun flew backward in the air. Mallow, Torch, and Bowser watched the ancient object flying in the air. As it began to fall, Bowser rushed out and jumped for it. The item fell into his claw and he somersaulted once on the ground. King Bowser stood up precariously from the crazy motion, and grinned malevolently when seeing the golden light shining from his hand. Toad rushed in behind Mallow and saw the King of Koopas holding the Sacred Sun.

“Oh no!” Toad shouted.

“BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” Bowser laughed.

“Hey, give that back...” Torch demanded.

“SILENCE!!!” Bowser roared at the fireball, sending a strong gust of air at him, throwing him back a meter. “Wow... I didn’t know I could do that!”

“King Koopa, it must be the magic item in your claw!” Jade assumed.

“That’s correct! This thing must be giving me amazing powers! COOL! Now I can tear this kingdom apart without the Reznor!” Bowser trumpeted.

“The Reznor?! So you’re the King Koopa who has awakened the Four Bringers of Fire, huh?” Torch said, stepping up. “But you haven’t seen their true power, obviously...”

Bowser eyed the fireball. “True power?”

“Oh yes, the true might and force of the Reznor is only unleashed when the blood of one felled by their flames touches the soil of this planet,” Torch explained.

“No!!! Don’t do it!!!” Mallow shouted.

“Bowser, don’t trust him!” Toad pleaded.

“You know, the very fact that you oppose this makes me think I’m on to something...” Bowser replied. “You, Podoboo, your words are true?”

“Yes indeed!” Torch responded.

“No, King Koopa! Don’t do it!!!” a weakened Slash called, crawling from the trenches.

“Ah, my novice Sergeant! What has made you so injured?” Bowser asked.

“On the battlefield I was nearly killed, and those Reznor of yours didn’t help either! If it wasn’t for that Yoshi saving me...” Slash began to explain.

“Wait!” Bowser interrupted. “You’re wanting me to do as these good guys want as well, and you’re saying that one of them saved you from my Reznor, which are terrible?”

“Well, yes, I suppose so,” Slash said.

Bowser turned to Torch. “Will this guy work?”

Torch only nodded. Bowser leapt into the sky and smashed into the ground just ahead of the now worried Slash. Mallow and Toad watched in horror as the Koopa King lifted him by the neck and pulled out a remote-control device.

“REZNOR! OBEY MY COMMAND AND GET IN RANGE TO DESTROY THIS TRAITOR!!!” Bowser slammed his finger on the button.

The green collars sent painful jolts through the monstrosities, but they did obey. The Reznor began to walk in the direction, but were stopped by the other set of monsters.

“Darn it!” Bowser growled. “They can’t get over here...”

“King Koopa, if I may suggest something...” Torch spoke up. “The item in your hand will give you incredible strength, you can simply throw that infidel to the Reznor.”

“Is that so? Nice knowing ya Slash!” Bowser said before chucking his former employee to the monsters that would indeed bring out the end of him.

Slash screamed as he flew through the air, and only screamed louder once landed. The Reznor still knew their former command and released a furious fire cloud that melted Slash to oblivion. The ashes settled and a great rumbling was heard.

“Oh no... NOW YOU’VE DONE IT, BOWSER!!!” Mallow shouted.

A bright orange fire consumed the spot where Slash met his ultimate demise. And out of the fire, a hideous demon was reborn. The wretched creature that ruled over the deathly dimension of the Inferno was now able to walk on the land of Plit. The Lord of the Inferno pounced over near Bowser and the others, grasping his fire rod. Merlink, Dasher, Jinx, Johnny, and Dimplestick arrived at the scene, prepared to battle, only finding it was too late.

“HAW HAW HAW!!! I am now unstoppable! No force can ruin me!” Kumquat laughed.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of myself...” Bowser laughed, a golden flame now surrounding the massive Koopa. “TAKE THIS!!!”

Bowser thrust his foreclaw at Kumquat, a bolt of golden energy shot out of it and singed the demonic incarnation of flame. Kumquat placed a claw on his blackened chest.

“What? No other heat can touch me... what sorcery is this?” Kumquat questioned.

“Unfortunately my Lord, he is now in possesion of the Sacred Sun!” Torch mumbled.

“WHAT?!” Kumquat shouted.

“Hey wait a second, what happened to the awesome power my Reznor would get? I’m starting to think you’re not fully trustworthy, Pyrosphere...” Bowser pondered.

A silver light proceeded to collide with Bowser’s head, causing the Koopa to lose all control and toss the golden artifact into the air. The Infernal Lord reached for it, and received the Sacred Sun as if it floated to him.

“HAW HAW HAW!!! The Koopa King is powerless to stop me now, and so is everyone else!” Kumquat laughed.

Bowser stood up, dazed and looked around when Scorch, Splooshi, Orchil, Roshi, Genji, and The Master fell onto his head to knock him out again.

“The Mystic Moon! Where’d it go?!” Orchil asked frantically.

“Aha!” Scorch said, spying the item.

The lizard leapt for it but was beaten to it by a tongue. He looked back and found Splooshi holding it high in his hand, triumphantly. “Yes!”

But then a flapping from above came, and down swooped the recently out-of-action Crystal, the White Magikoopa riding on her back. She flew just above Splooshi and snatched the Mystic Moon in her talons, and flew back up into the sky, the Magikoopa in white jumping off.

“Well, well, well,” Kumquat said, shaking his head at the Magikoopa. “Indeed it has been a long time...”

“Not long enough, brother!” the Magikoopa snapped.

The audience of several gasped in a soap-opera style. Crystal flapped down to a landing next to the craggedy, elder Magikoopa. She handed him the Mystic Moon and glowered and Scorch.

“I see. This must be what the people call fate. That here, on this very same field, we would again have a clash of the titans!” Kumquat chuckled. “Only this time, the Age of Fire will not be distinguished!”

“I’ve heard it all before. It’s just a shame the Age of Ice didn’t last forever, this filthy planet will be so much better when I freeze it over with a coat of ice!” the Magikoopa said.

“Wait, wait a moment!” Toad interrupted. The forces of fire and ice looked to him. “So, you two are brothers, fought on this very field with your monsters a LOOOOOOONG time ago, and now you’re going to do it again?”

“Yes, that’s right!” Kumquat said. “But why did you ask us if you understood?”

“Well, my real question is...” Toad said. “Who is this guy?!” The Mushroomer pointed toward the Magikoopa in white, an amused smile upon his face now.

“My brother, perhaps it is time we shed these alter bodies and show the world our true forms!” the Magikoopa said.

“Indeed,” Kumquat agreed.

In an instant, flames surrounded Kumquat, and a frosty cloud enveloped the Magikoopa. They both rose into the sky, fires still plaguing the land. Deep inside the frost of blue and the flame of orange, the black silhouettes of the two brothers changed. Their new shapes were short, stocky, and rounded. The flames and frost parted slightly, showing their true forms to be.... Shy Guys?!

“I AM KUMQUAT, LORD OF THE INFERNO!!!”

“I AM KUNQUAT, LORD OF THE TUNDRA!!!”

The two Shysters slammed to the ground in a deadly face off, both grasping their respective wands tightly.

“Okay, I remember this guy from a long time ago... he seemed weak,” Bowser mentioned, standing up.

“That was because I was weak. Until recently my powers were not reinstated, and I relied on my minions to do my bidding. Only Crystal here did any good, my failure Protoge has left me forever now, his life will end when the world is mine!” Kunquat explained.

“Enough of your dribble! Let us begin this fight!!!” Kumquat yelled, placing the Sacred Sun atop his scepter.

“Yes, I concur!” Kunquat agreed, placing the Mystic Moon on his scepter.

The two bodies of evil and insanity levitated to the sky, and flew to the battlefield where the Reznor and Anglor now remained at a standstill, growling fiercely.

“Ha! They fell right in my trap! REZNOR, ATTACK THEM NOW!!!” Bowser roared, pushing the button.

Before the message was sent, the black magic of the brothers disintegrated the collars and necklaces of their monsters.

“Shoot. Well I’m spent, there’s nothing left for me to ruin here anyway, place is kind of a dump. Come Jade, let’s flee back to the Gargantuan and count our losses,” Bowser said, snapping his finger.

The Koopacopter flew down from the sky and the weighty Koopa jumped in it. Jade pulled out a magical feather and used its power to become a temporary Paratroopa. As Bowser began to depart, he shot out a Chain Chomp that attached itself to Torch.

“What the?!” Torch panicked.

“You! You’re coming with me!” Bowser announced, flying off into the sky, carrying the Podoboo of red with him.

Nobody seemed to care as Bowser and Jade escaped, all eyes were on the monsters who now were glowing red and blue. Kumquat and Kunquat sent down blasts of their ancient items to empower their foursome of monsters. The beams slowly drew the sets of four closer together, where they began to squeeze into one and merged. Out of the golden and silver lights, two kaiju were created. Standing over the highest skyscrapers, weighing greater than any castle, and more fearsome than anything previous to Plit, stood the two creatures that truly were known as: The Inferno and The Tundra...

Chapter 67: Chef Torte Gets Cooked... Again

Lightning and thunder clashed, as the classic version of Torte reprogrammed his PAN OF PERIL to its normal settings. Yoshi watched curiously as the chef prepared for the final fight. Roars of ancient beasts sounded in the fiery background back to shore, the water was black with red highlights. Truly a spectacular locale for a final fight.

“Are you ready to meet your demise, green donkey?” Chef Torte snapped.

“Nope, I’ve got other plans. Whatever you can dish out, I’ll just eat it up!” Yoshi replied.

“Oh a chef joke, huh? Veiry smart. In zat sense, try and gulf zis down vhy don’t ya?” Chef Torte said, jumping onto the roof of the cabin of the ship. “Here’s a little sample!!!”

The maniacal chef ripped out his PAN OF PERIL, aimed at the Yoster, and fired several shots of red-hot lasers, the basic attack of the last fight the two had. Yoshi had expected this, and easily dodged. Chef Torte grinned, hiding his anger behind his grinding teeth. One of his eyes bugged out as he spoke.

“I see ve’re still light-of-foot!” Chef Torte spat. “Dodge zis vone!”

Chef Torte held up his PAN OF PERIL, and in the very core of the device, the red orbs glowed and formed a largely sized sphere of atomic red energy, which also had been used previously. Chef Torte jumped high into the air and let the powerful blast fly, as he returned to the ground cackling.

The bigger ball of red light zoomed towards our hero, but Yoshi was ready as ever. The green dinosaur whipped out the chef’s discarded PAN OF POWER from his saddle bag and smacked the ball of red electricity. Chef Torte sidestepped nervously to avoid the blast, then glowered down at the smiling Yoshi.

“You still haf zat piece of junk?!” Chef Torte yelled, outraged. “Vat vere you planning on doing viz it?”

“Oh I don’t know... maybe give it to my favorite chef, Tayce T...” Yoshi taunted.

Steam sprayed from Torte’s ears and nostrils, his eyes were bloodshot and an aura of faded red began to surround him in his anger.

“I HATE TAYCE T!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE ZE ENGLISH PATIENT!!!” Chef Torte bellowed. “And now as I said two years ago to ze day to anozeir green Yoshi, I’m going to KILL you!”

Chef Torte’s rage caused him to fire lasers at an alarming rate, even for a professional do-gooder like Yoshi. The dinosaur worriedly strided across the deck of the ship, avoiding the scorching lasers. Once at the end of the line, he fluttered over the lasers to the other side of the ship. Chef Torte continued to fire rapidly with no strategy until his power charge quickly ran out of juice.

“Eet Vishoot Siza!” Torte roared in fury. “Recharge!”

Yoshi looked around, studying the layout of the ship for a strategic gem to victory later in the fight. There were cannons, the entrance into the ship, a random pair of Levi’s, Whomp still lying on the ground where he nearly crushed Soshi, and Embert in the crow’s nest. Before anything else could be discovered, the Chef was once again ready to bout.

“Mwa ha ha ha! Stupid Yoshi, your current strategy has not changed since ve tangled ze last time! You zink I’ll shoot zose big red balls at you for you to smack back at moi in a Zelda-esque triumph, don’t you? Vell I’ve managed to learn some new tricks,  peirhaps you’d like to see my sword skills?” Chef Torte laughed, revealing a large cutlass of his pirate fame.

Yoshi smiled and shook his head. “Would you pick your title already? This chef and cap’n buisness is making my head spin!”

“Don’t vorry, you von’t feel it spin ven I take it off!” Chef Torte threatened.

The devious Koopa rearranged the weapons in each hand, so now the cutlass was in his dominant hand and the PAN OF PERIL was in his left. He thrust the PAN OF PERIL forward and sent out the large chain-linked hookshot attachment. Yoshi watched as the two claws clamped onto a higher beam supporting the sail. Chef Torte yelled something, trying to act cool, and leapt from the ledge, swinging down with sword in hand towards the green hero. Yoshi saw the cook’s plan to slice and dice just in the nick of time, saving his neck. Yoshi ducked as he felt the wind cut just above his head where the blade of Torte’s swept. The claws detached and returned to their correct position in the PAN OF PERIL, and Chef Torte swooped around to face the now-standing Yoster. Both cringed at the sight of each other before returning to the skurmish.

Chef Torte struck first, by leaping at his opponent and skillfully swishing with his sword. The blade was stilled by Torte’s former weapon, which Yoshi was now keen to use. Torte grunted and fired the PAN OF PERIL forward to Yoshi’s stomach. The bouncy dinosaur hopped off of his feet and backflipped forward, landing behind the chef in a marvelous stunt. Torte swirled around, slashing with both weapons only to be blocked with the PAN OF POWER again. Both faces, Yoshi and Koopa, leaned forward and glared at each other.

“Peirhaps I judged too soon on your strategies...” Chef Torte admitted. “But you haf not seen ze half of mine yet, reptile!”

Yoshi pulled back the PAN OF POWER and taunted his enemy by sticking out his long tongue, retracting luckily before the chef’s sword could bisect it. Yoshi jumped backward while spinning with the PAN OF POWER outward to fend off all attacks. Chef Torte continued to persue his fruit-loving nemesis, causing Yoshi to step back again and again with each swipe. Yoshi prepared to defend again when Torte started to laugh his notorious chortle.

“Mwa ha ha! It seems, Yoshi, zat you are at ze end of ze line.” Chef Torte gloated, Yoshi taking note of his location; the plank. “And now I can’t say valk ze plank, zat vould haf been so cool for my image! Oh vell, I guess I’ll just haf to kill you!”

Yoshi smiled. “I’m not a Delfino-born dino, cheffy. A little water won’t hurt me!”

“Oh, I’m not counting on ze vateir to harm you. It seems an old acquaintence of mine has returned.” Chef Torte said, pointing to sea with his blade.

Yoshi turned his head, still holding the PAN OF POWER tightly. He dropped his jaw at what he saw, an enormous fin slicing through the water that most surely belonged to the humongous monster of a fish that chowed down Soshi. The green dinosaur turned back to Torte, who had started his attack, leaving Yoshi no choice but to dive in. Water rushed everywhere as Yoshi was submerged. The first visible thing was the trail of bubbles seeping out of his open mouth. Then Yoshi took a longer look around, finding a large and ominous black figure swimming towards him at incredible speed. He quickly swam to the surface and gasped for air. Chef Torte squinted in disappointment at the resurfaced Yoshi, and stepped out of view back further on the boat. Yoshi waved both of his arms outward, maintaining buoyancy. Then something chilling and sharp ran along his side. He had been bitten by the Great White Blurp! The culprit swam ahead of him, rubbing up against the side of the boat. Yoshi felt his side, it wasn’t a bite, it was a scrape, not even bleeding. The sharp fin of the fish must have cut him as it swam by. Yoshi looked forward, surprised to see the fish not making a u-turn to gobble him up. The face of the aqautic beast was surfaced, and the black eyes with orange pupils looked upward out of the sides of its face to the ship’s deck.

“What’s it doing?” Yoshi wondered aloud.

Chef Torte reappeared at the side of the ship, an annoyed look upon his face. The cutlass had vanished, and the PAN OF PERIL was restored to Torte’s favorable claw.

“If you haf to do somezing right, you’ve got to do it yourself...” Chef Torte muttered.

Both the Great White and Yoshi watched fixedly as two turbines, both now perfected, poked out from either side of the fiend. He cackled lightly as the engines whirred and revved up, creating orange sparks and eventually bursting to flame for ascension. Chef Torte was airborne and circled the area twice before beginning his first move. During this two-circle period, Yoshi watched in horror as the Blurp began to circle him, just like Torte above. Wait, JUST like Torte. The Great White Blurp was the same distance away, and exactly under the kooky chef at all times. Yoshi pondered for a moment before an epiphany overtook and he cracked a smile.

“We’ve got a regular Captain Hook and Crocodile relationship, here,” Yoshi deciphered.

Chef Torte, who obviously wasn’t listening, shouted another redundant threat to Yoshi before strafing the sea with his lasers of red. True, it was more difficult for Yoshi to manuever underwater, but he did have more space to dodge the blasts. The green dinosaur watched a pair of crimson columns pass him by above and to the left of him. He slithered through the water, hoping to avoid a few more beams. Unfortunately Torte wasn’t one for patience, and he did his fishing in a barrel. One at the super market where the fish were already wrapped in handy containers for freshness. He wasn’t much of a fish guy all around, but when the mood strikes, he’ll go for some. And this is exactly what the process is.

“Stick to ze script, BOB!” Chef Torte snapped.

Urr... right. Our questionable villain charged his red laser up for another orb of mightier power. With exclamation, he tossed the ball of red into the black ocean. It quickly weaved through the water and found its target. Yoshi flipped several times before regaining composure. He was hit, badly. Yoshi turned to his tail and saw a cloud of his blood seep out over the wound. A large, terrifying silhouette grew in the distance. That fish may want to chow down on Chef Torte, but there was simply no resisting that delightful smell. It was the Blurp’s fruit, Yoshi thought. The dinosaur in green started swimming upwards, for some reason the lasers had stopped. Yoshi resurfaced and found Torte smacking the back of his weapon.

“FOOLS!!! I just charged your batteiries! You haf no excuse to go out on moi now!” Chef Torte snarled.

Yoshi looked to his side, finding the ship and the chain of the anchor right in front of him. How convenient!

“Eh?” Chef Torte mumbled. “ALORS!!! You ‘af survived?! Curse you! My laseirs may be out of commission, but I’ve got a variety of devices left to spell out your doom. Care for a delicious Yosteir-seeking missle? Imported from Gadd Industries, guaranteed to hit a Yoshi in his keysteir!”

Yoshi grumbled. “Now what does that old kook plan to do with Yoshi-seeking missles?!”

“I’m not sure, but I plan to use ‘em to blow you up like a Tub-O-Troopa afteir any celebration viz punch and cake!” Chef Torte seethed.

“What is it with you and your terrible, awful similes?” Yoshi asked.

“Oh, you’re just jealous!” Chef Torte snickered.

“No. I’m serious. Your similes are theeee worst I have ever heard. They don’t even make sense.” Chef Torte stared with his mouth drooping, and Yoshi nodded. “I hate to be the bearer of bed news, but it’s true.”

“But... but...” Chef Torte fumed. “NO!!! YOU ARE MISTAKEN OF ZE HIGHEST LEVEL!!! I AM CHEF TORTE, MASTEIR OF EVIL, CULINARY ARTS, AND ALL FORMS OF SIMILES AND PUNS!!! NOW DIE!!!”

Chef Torte spiraled around and fired the top spike on the PAN OF PERIL, which fired out and became the missle described. It screeched out of the frying pan, and was nearly to Yoshi already. The dinosaur leapt from the water and grasped onto the chain of the anchor. Two horrifying images were in his sight, both in range within seconds. One, the missle, and two, the Great White Blurp appearing beneath the water. Yoshi reacted as quickly as possible, and began by flutter-jumping upward and spraying out fruitic acid in the direction of the missle. A splash sounded with the wet collision, followed by a few zaps and electrical crashes. The juice must have fried its circuts, as it no longer continued to persue Yoshi and fell in midair. The White Blurp of massive size and terror jumped up out of the water, trying to chomp Yoshi but instead caught the dud missle in its mouth. Yoshi arrived on the deck of Torte’s ship, and the fearsome fish returned to the depths. Yoshi looked up at Torte, who’s right eye began to spaz.

“You should really check that out... though I suppose with changing your persona so much, you’d like to be like K. Rool as much as possible, huh?” Yoshi chuckled.

“AGGAH!!! NEVEIR COMPARE MOI TO ZAT NAKED, BLUBBEIRY FREAK!!! And my eyes are just irritated from ze contacts I’m vearing, anyvay,” Chef Torte snorted.

“You... wear contacts?” Yoshi asked.

“Vell, yes as a matteir of fact,” Chef Torte answered. “Not for seeing any betteir, but zey just give moi zat red iris to look cool, and EVIL!!!”

Yoshi squinted and shook his head. “But you don’t have a red iris... your eyes don’t have any iris, much like other Koopas. Just a big black oval.”

“Vat?! Aww I ordeired ze wrong vones! Darn you CONTACT CATALOG!!!” Chef Torte cursed.

“Alright, we’re lagging. This is supposed to be a final fight here, one which enduces excitement and action, not vomiting and boredom,” Yoshi pointed out.

“I’m only trying to provide ze audience viz a fun dispute, Yoshi! Haf a little showmanship!” Torte said.

“Oh shut up, you big over-actor!” Yoshi said, to hsi patience’s end.

“OVEIRACTOR?!” Chef Torte spazzed. “Zat’s it Yoshi, you’ve gone too far! Too far zat I can’t even see you. You’ve gone so far, zat... it’s like, ve’re not even in ze same chapteir!”

“And another great example of your stupid similes!” Yoshi said.

Chef Torte roared. “It’s time to TORTE it up a NOTCH!!! OPTIMIZE!!!”

The red glowing center of the PAN OF PERIL flashed white and then doused into a bright, electric blue. The azure glow enveloped the PAN OF PERIL and Torte himself while the transformation took place. The brilliant blue died down once the charge was complete, but continued to resonate in the core of the weapon, as well as spurt random bolts of blue lightning outward into the air. Chef Torte grinned maniacally at Yoshi. Out of the former position of the top spike protruded a steel rod with a coiling metal wire that connected to a small silver sphere at its peak. The PAN OF PERIL began to gather enormous amounts of energy that sparked and fizzled with bolts and shinyness at the point of the metal rod. Yoshi readied the PAN OF POWER, expecting another tennis match-technique. An unstable massive cloud of blue power, about the size of Mallow, was formed at the zenith of the rod.

Suddenly Chef Torte flung the PAN OF PERIL forward, a horrific blue lightning bolt striking from the tip of the rod, weeding out into different directions as it raced to the deck of the ship. Yoshi held the PAN OF POWER in front of him, knowing that this would not bounce back, and only too late realizing the inconvenient metal it was made out of. The blast poured into the frying pan, and through the handle into Yoshi’s body. Blue zaps and shocks carroused through every nook and cranny of Yoshi’s exterior and interior. The green dinosaur fell to the ground once the entire thunderbolt roasted him and dissipated from Torte’s weapon. Yoshi fell to the floor, every sqaure centimeter of his smooth body seething. The dinosaur breathed heavily, climbing to his feet. Chef Torte was estactic, causing pain to those he loathed was such a treat.

“You should be zankful,” Chef Torte said, pompously. “You vere ze first I subjected zis outstanding attack to. Enjoy ze sampling, I believe it’ll be ze peak of your life, consideirng it vill end in mere minutes!”

Yoshi’s singed hand reached forward and grabbed onto the PAN OF POWER. Torte’s tiny, nearly invisible ears picked up the sound of the metal dragging along the wood. He peered down to find his hated rival standing up, despite being electrocuted half to death.

“Mon dieu! Vill you neveir give up?! You’re as stubborn as... as...” Chef Torte growled.

“As you?” Yoshi said cleverly, with a smile.

“Veiry vell put,” Chef Torte said, cracking a smile in agreement. “Now please stand still so I can fry you up viz anozeir zhundeir bolt!”

Chef Torte lifted the PAN OF PERIL high into the sky, and again collected a huge orb of poweful voltage. He threw his mighty frying pan forward and launched a second streak of lightning to his opponent. Yoshi smiled deviously as the bolt came closer, Chef Torte caught the smirk and panicked, something wasn’t right. The dino flipped the PAN OF POWER to show the interior area, stuffed inside was a squishy red shoe. Torte gasped and saw Yoshi’s green toes wave him goodbye when the thunderbolt clashed with the rubber sole of the shoe and bounced back.

“Mon dieu...” Chef Torte muttered.

The bright bolt of blue blasted back into the metallic rod from whence it came, causing a great explosion and Chef Torte to flip around in the air. Yoshi watched the dust settle, and found Chef Torte flying around spastically, the PAN OF PERIL burning with a roaring fire in his hand. The familiar face of the Great White Blurp poked up from under the water and watched the deranged chef intuitively. The Terrapin cried out foreign obscenities as the jetpack equipped continued to malfunction and eventually went kaboom. Torte flew through the air, falling to the other side of the ship, blocked from sight by the cabin. Yoshi placed his shoe back on and was about to walk around to make sure the job was done when a large splash sounded from behind. Yoshi twirled around just in time to see the humongous Great White fly up and out of the water, crashing onto the front of the ship. The ship’s back lifted into the sky and the front side began to sink as the hideous monstrosity of the deep opened and closed its jaws fiercely. Yoshi lost his balance and fell to the ground, sliding along the wet deck toward the frenzied fish. He placed both feet on either side of it’s maw, keeping him out of the mouth. Embert struggled to stay balanced up in the crow’s nest while watching Yoshi struggle with the monster. Whomp flailed his arms around nervously, still flat on the ground.

“URR URR? Whomp no see! What going on? Feel water... URR!!!”

Yoshi strained himself, forcing himself to stay out of the mouth. He tossed the PAN OF POWER into the fish’s jaws, hoping to keep it busy for at least a moment. As the dinosaur watched the pan get caught in its mouth, he noticed the missle still locked in its jaws. Yoshi’s attention was again divided when an all-too-familiar laughing sounded. Yoshi flipped his head up, watching Chef Torte’s return upside down, as he climbed to the top of the cabin. The chef was desolated, his apron and cape tattered, bruises and burns scattered over him. Blood oozed out of the left corner of his mouth, and one of his ‘staches had embers glowing in it and a small trail of smoke billowing. One of his eyes was closed and his breathing was strained. The PAN OF PERIL was barely recognizable, completely blackened, and the blue light had failed. No core was present, and all of the weapons seemed to be rendered useless. Forget seemed, the top half of the machine was completely fragged off.

“You... YOU FOOL!!!” Torte shrieked, not even noticing the massive Great White Blurp attempting to engulf Yoshi. “You haf caused moi enough troubles! Ist time to say goodbye! I haf managed to save vone last shot, vone last laseir. Zis last vone vill end your life and begin mine anew. Viz you out of my non-existant hair, I shall finally be able to conqueir zis planet.”

“I... wouldn’t do that if I were you...” Yoshi warned, still troubled with the Blurp.

“DIE!!!” Torte screamed, aiming the PAN OF PERIL and firing the last of his red lasers.

The beam streaked down the ship, Yoshi used all of his force to jump forward, the laser cutting slightly into his stomach as he leaned against the askew ship. The red bullet continued to the Great Whtie Blurp, and impacted the lone missle clamped in its jaws.

BOOM!!!

The ship rumbled, the ocean rumbled. The Great White Blurp blew to bits, and the deck of the ship caved in, dropping Yoshi into the lower levels of the H.M.S. Torte. He fell into a room half-filled with water, cold water. Chef Torte flailed about, trying to maintain balance as the explosion occurred. He fell flat on his face as it subsided, too weak to get up again. Fish meat and intestines were everywhere. The filthy, slop-drenched forms of Soshi and Lemmy Koopa emerged from the demolished fish and began to wipe themselves off.

“Oh geez, was that disgusting!” Soshi complained.

“What are you whining about? You were in there for two chapters, I had to live in there for over half the book!” Lemmy snapped. “Oh great, I can see I’m back at Torte’s ship. That fish had to follow him, didn’t he?”

The disgruntled and angered chef stood up, precariously, but still spastic enough to look crazy.

“Mon dieu! Lemmy came back into ze story, vat a plot tvist! And... Soshi didn’t die? Vow, according to my memory, zat’s a whole book vizout you meeting ze Reapeir!” Chef Torte said. “Now vhere’s zat Yoshi?!”
 

Yoshi climbed to his feet as quick as possible, despite being very weak and tired. He felt something touch his legs in the cold water, he looked down and was surprised to see the PAN OF POWER waking in his face. He shrugged and placed it in his saddlebag when a rather oversized cauldron floated into the room.

“Hello Mr. Dino thingy! What are you doing here in Torte’s stock room?” Dingpot asked.

“Should I even ask how you can float?” Yoshi questioned.

“Yep, this is his stock room. For all of his cheffing stuff. He keeps all his supplies in here. Rare stuff too. I here he’s got some Kongo Bananas, Bubble Berries, Bean Fruit...” Dingpot mumbled.

“Wait!” Yoshi interuppted. “Bean Fruit?!”
 

“Chef Torte!” Embert called. “I saw Yoshi fall into the ship when the explosion happened!”

“Good, look out, Embeirt!” Chef Torte replied, drawing his sword again. “I may not haf any fancy gadgets, but call moi Fungus Face if I lose zis battle...”

Yoshi jumped out from the large hole in the deck, Lemmy and Soshi to either side of him. Yoshi grinned in Torte’s direction, who gritted his teeth and fumed steam from his nose. The dinosaur spoke no words but removed a glowing, majestic Bean Fruit from his saddlebag.

“Hey! I know you Yoshis love to chow down on ze fruit, but are you so compulsive so as to eat during our match? And zat’s my Bean Fruit! It’s veiry hard to come by and... vait a second. Zhere’s somezing I’m forgetting about Bean Fruit...” Chef Torte pondered.

Yoshi tossed the delicious morsel into the air and fetched it with his tongue, gulping it down.

“Ven Yoshis eat Bean Fruit...”

Yoshi clenched his fists and bit his lip, producing an egg.

“Zey make...”

Yoshi held the dazzling, sparkly egg in his hand. “Neon Eggs.”

Chef Torte’s eyes widened as Yoshi pulled his arm back for a toss. He released the Neon Egg, and it rocketed to its target in a fantastic array of color. The impact was even more amazing, what with the bright green explosion, kncking Torte far beyond and into the water behind the ship. For a moment, he floated unconsciously along the sea, but proceeded to sink. Just as he completely went under, his fist tightened on the PAN OF PERIL...
 

“Victory!” Yoshi gloated.

“You know, if Soshi wasn’t so tired. I’d beat you up!” Soshi threatened.

“That’s nice, pal. But I’ve won. No worries. The good guys will once again get the glory, I’ve figured out this story. Hey that kinda rhymed, and that fruit was good. Now I’m hungry, for fruit, oh boy!” Yoshi yearned.

“I wouldn’t be thinking of home so soon, Yoshi,” Lemmy moaned. “But that golden light from the other side of the ship makes me think you haven’t won quite yet.”

Yoshi turned to see the golden light spoken of. A gigantic sphere of bright, raw energy of gold rose into view, and below it, a furious fiend from Foreign Land who just couldn’t seem to give up. Chef Torte hovered to the cabin once again, holding the orb up with some unseen force of the PAN OF PERIL. He was mad, not the few screws loose as is his normal persona, but stark raving mad.

“MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” Chef Torte cackled. “Did you forget zis little trump card of mine? Hmm?! True you managed to survive last time, but Princess Peach isn’t here to save your butt at ze last minute. Now Yoshi, prepare to meet your makeir, his name ist Shigeru.”

Yoshi’s eyes blurred across the ship, what to do?!

“VISHUPOW!!!”

Chef Torte thrust the mighty orb of golden light forward. As it flew closer and closer, Yoshi’s mind raced. With only seconds left, Yoshi reacted. First he reached to his right and grabbed strongly onto a clump of rainbow-colored hair. With all his might he pulled Lemmy off his feet and tossed him at the central pole of the sinking ship. The Koopaling slammed into the pole, sending a great vibration through it. Up in the crow’s nest, Embert swerved about and finally lost his balance. Yoshi watched, the golden ball of death was nearing, and a spiraling Podoboo descended hastily before him. Yoshi pulled out the PAN OF POWER, and swung it forward. CLANG! Embert went flying, and smacked into the Wishapow orb. Instead of combining into one super-force like the last time, both entities bounced apart after a large shockwave in the air. Embert flew to the side of the ship, and the Wishapow orb out to sea where it would eventually dissipate.

“MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” Chef Torte laughed. “Too bad it didn’t verk like last time, right Yoshi? I guess you missed your target!”

Yoshi glared at Torte, but couldn’t constrain his smirk any longer. Chef Torte was baffled by it, and demanded a reason.

“Oh, I didn’t miss my target. I was right on,” Yoshi responded.

Chef Torte turned his head to the side and peered down to what was left of the deck. Embert had landed on the fallen Whomp... the fallen Whomp with a huge barrel of TNT still strapped to his back!!!

“MON DIEU!!!”

“As you would put it, au revouir!” Yoshi gloated, diving into the water.
 

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
 

The explosion was indeed an incredible sight. The ship was no more, lost in a sea of flames. The submerged Yoshi was launched out of the water, unharmed, and high into the air, where the dark clouds appeared to be spinning around him. As he fell, something came into view, a large creature with earthly colors and large flapping wings. The last thing Yoshi saw was a large claw scooping him up out of the sky...

Read on!
Go back to the beginning.