The New Life of Bowser

By Buddy

Chapter 1-Big Surprise!

The news went through the Mushroom Kingdom like a storm. The King of the Koopas, Bowser, had thrown in the white flag. The last of his troops had been defeated on Isle Delfino and now Bowser was alone in his castle, just sitting there on his throne wishing for Goomba Soup. He listened to the birds outside, chirping happily. It sounded like each one said "Bowser defeated" and then responded to themselves with "for good". After hearing their chanting over and over again, he went to the window and fried them all. He sat back on his throne and started to cry, his life was over.

He had depended on his troops too much. They'd cooked for him, bathed for him, they'd even built the now-empty castle. The only thing he'd learn to do on his own was give orders. He'd sat around and watched them while he ate frog legs. And now, in his quiet castle, there was no troops stomping around in front of him, no troops reporting bad or good news to him, and no more frog legs. He knew his life wasn't over, just his old life. Now he had to move on to newer things. But he couldn't. Nobody liked him. The Mushroom people were afraid of him, the princess was afraid of him, Mario and Luigi hated him, and Yoshi licked him in his mouth, which isn't right. Where would he go? Money wasn't a problem, but he had nothing to do with it; merchants refused to sell things to him.

His son, Bowser, Jr., had run away to a faraway land since their last fight with Mario. Bowser was now sorry for hitting him for not making his bed when he got up in the morning. But, did Bowser ever make his own bed? No. His troops had. Bowser slapped himself in the face. He wanted to do pain to himself like the pain he has done to others. And it felt good.

He was going to have to be a good guy now, he had to do good for the princess, not take her. He had to protect her, but from what? He'd been her only problem, but no longer. He'd have to settle with Mario, and it wouldn't be easy. True, Bowser had sided with Mario before but he'd always had to do something mean to him no matter what. He loved it when he hit the tennis ball and it bounced off of Mario's face, he loved it with he hit his go-kart with a Green Shell, he loved it when he snapped a golf club over his head, and he really loved it when he'd fought against Mario during the Smash Brothers age. He could love those things no more. No longer could he hate Mario, but love him.

"Yuck," he shouted out in disgust.

But why did he? There was nobody around to hear him.

It was a great day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mushroom people laughed and played at Town Square, where Mario was about to make a speech. He was going to talk about the future of the kingdom without worry of Bowser. A group of teens played with a new set of cards that had come out in past days. On each card was a different picture of Bowser, each with an X covering his body. Another group of teens was spraypainting one of the card pictures onto a wall. When Toadsworth walked by them, he looked at the drawing and laughed. Bowser wasn't feared anymore. When you talked about Bowser, you were talking about comedy.

Everybody clapped and cheered while the teens looked away from what they were doing to a raised platform in the middle of all the excitement. Mario was standing up there, looking more proud and brave than ever, flipping through some papers which must have been his speech. Mario wasn't good at public speaking so he'd probably spent days on the papers in front of him.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Mushroom Kingdom, these past days have been happy days." The Mushroom people clapped again.  "I know that almost every single one of you probably knows: Bowser has thrown in the towel, or flag or whatever, and is now no longer a threat. The terrorism he has caused us is no more. He has no more troops left, the fat pig is probably sitting on his throne right now feeling sorry for himself. Let him cry, because he will be no more in our lives. To make sure of this and to see to it that he's not working on a master plan, I'm going to go to his castle tomorrow to tear down everything there is. We will make sure there is not one secret in his castle, not one troop yet." Mario took a big breath and looked around. "If you would like to ask any questions about this topic now before I go on, please do so."

Bowser was standing outside his castle. It was a hot day outside and there was a forest fire across the river from his castle. He wanted to go tell the princess, Mario, and everybody else that he was sorry. But he'd never said the word before so he had to practice while he started to go across the bridge.

"Sory, no, that's not right. Maybe it's, Sony, no, that's Nintendo's enemy. Wait, what's Nintendo? I know there's an r in it. So let it be Sorny!" Bowser was confused. He knew the word "sorry" but couldn't say it right. "Okay, I have something to tell you all, I'm sorry for the troubles I have caused throughout your lives."

Perfect, he thought. He'd said it and he'd say it again. He continued to walk through the forest towards the kingdom while saying sorry over and over again. They would agree to let him in sooner or later. He just had to prove he was worthy of being one of them.

Somebody raised their hand. "Yes?" Mario said, looking at them.

"What about other dangers in this big world that might threaten us?"

Mario thought for a moment and then said, "Yes, true, the world is big, but not the island that we live on. The only danger that we had around here was Smithy and Bowser. Both of them are gone. But if any danger ever happens to enter the kingdom, I'll be there. I'll always be there for you. I'll never leave you all." Mario took another breath.

The whole Town Square clapped and cheered at what Mario had just said. He knew they were going to be louder later after he shared his surprise. A lady raised her hand and Mario called on her. "When you said that Bowser was gone, he isn't."

Mario knew this but he had to say something. "Well, Bowser cannot harm us anymore. He tried too many times and has failed too many times. He overworked his troops and now they are gone. Without his troops or any weapons, he is a nobody."

More clapped. Nobody else had any questions so he went on. "Now, you may wonder what we're going to do about the kingdom: make it bigger, better, and wealthier. How you ask? The mushrooms that grow in the forest of the kingdom don't grow anywhere else on the island. We can pick and sell the best for a good deal. Maybe one mushroom will sell for 500 coins. And that is a lot. Then the strongest of us will get wood from the forests to build more houses and make more land." He looked around while everyone looked at each other. Mario was worried. Did they misunderstand him or don't they like the idea? Then, everybody started to clap and cheer. "Any questions will be answered."

Bowser was struggling to climb a cliff. Usually he had his troops to lift him up over a steep one like this. This time, he was on his own. He felt the way his troops used to feel, tired. When he reached the top he looked down and wondered how he'd ever got up there. He heard his stomach growl and rubbed it. He looked at a batch of berries next to him, but he couldn't eat them. He was a carnivore, he ate meat, live meat. He then saw a rabbit hopping along a field to the left of him. He ran over to it, chased it, grabbed it, and threw it in his mouth. When he continued on the trail to the Mushroom Kingdom and opened his mouth to yawn, the rabbit hopped out and got away. Bowser stomped his foot in anger. Being a carnivore was a risk you had to take; when you are something alive, it could come back out alive.

Bowser practically had to drag himself the rest of the way to the kingdom, oweing to his ever-increasing hunger and fatigue. When he was almost there he saw a group of little Mushroom kids playing in a sandbox outside their house. He knew little kids didn't know who he was so he tried to be polite and walked up to them. "Hi kids, are you having fun?"

The little boy and girl looked at each other and turned to Bowser, "We're not allowed to talk to strangers."

"I'm no stranger, I'm Mario's best friend, you know, his buddy. I'm also Luigi's friend too." Bowser knew he was lying but he wanted to make a good impression.

The boy ran into the house. Bowser thought he was going to get his parents so he started to walk away when the boy came out of the house by himself. He was carrying two action figures, one was Mario, the other was Bowser. He looked at the Bowser figure, then at Bowser himself. "Aren't you this guy?" the boy asked.

"Yes, I am."

"You're not a good guy, you're bad." He turned to his sister. "Hurry up and get into the house before he eats us!" They both ran into the house and the boy threw the Bowser figure at him. "You can have it. It's evil," he shouted and slammed the door.

Bowser picked up his figurine and looked at it. It looked just like him. The figure had a big, evil grin on his face. The figure was evil. He threw it at a tree and the figure's eyes went red. It got up and started walking towards Bowser.

"Oh my God, it's alive!" Bowser shouted. In the corner of his eyes he saw the kids looking through the window, both of them pointing. Bowser wanted to act brave and make it look like he would save them. Well, they weren't in trouble but he'd pretend to fight it. He knew it was only a wind-up toy.

"Don't worry, kids. I'll save you from this evil thing that you threw at me." He ran at it but stopped in his tracks. There was fire coming out of the figure's mouth, pretty dangerous toy for a kid. He looked at the kids through the window and their eyes showed that they were afraid. Was this toy supposed to breathe fire, or not? Maybe it was evil.

Bowser then used his fire breath to fry the toy, or he thought he had. There wasn't a mark on it. The little figure then lifted its finger and shot a beam of light at Bowser's chest. Bowser was hurled over onto his side and stopped breathing.

There were no questions to answer so Mario went on. "It's now time for my secret, everybody!"

Everybody paused and stared at Mario. Peach didn't know what he was doing so she just looked at Toadsworth using his cane to kill some ants on the ground. But she might've guessed what was coming.

Mario took something out of his pocket and walked over to Peach. He kneeled down and Peach smiled. Mario held out what he had in his hand; it was a velvet, purple box. He held Peach's hand in one of his own and held the box in the other.

"Princess Peach, we have always been there for each other. Now that Bowser is gone, we can finally move on with our lives and with the lives of others in the kingdom," Mario said while lifting his head up a little more and opening the box in his hand. Inside the box was a ruby red ring that sparkled in the bright, morning sun. "Will you marry me?"

That was it, Mario had said it. The both of them knew this day would come, and it had finally arrived. Peach just had to say one simple word and they'd be off to the wedding chapel. Peach looked like she might start to cry. Her face got more and more wet as the seconds went by, but then she said, "Yes. God yes, Mario!"

Mario then put the ring on Peach's ring finger and pulled her up. They started to dance while everybody around cheered and clapped louder, and with more interest, than ever before. Toadsworth then stood up and started to talk. "Good show Master Mario, good show!"

Later that day, Mario and Peach had dinner at her castle and talked about the future of almost everything: the kingdom, children, even Bowser. "Where do you really think he is now, Mario?" Peach said with interest in Bowser.

"Probably still crying like a baby, who knows with him."

"Yeah, but he could just be waiting to unleash a huge attack."

"By himself? Give me a break. He might stick his horn through my chest first and jump off a cliff."

"Mario! Don't joke like that! You scare me!"

"Sorry honey, you don't have to yell."

Bowser awoke to find himself in a bed in a stone-walled room. It smelt just like his old castle that was no more to him in his new life. He got up and looked at his bed. It was the same one from his castle. Had he returned home?

Bowser went through the door to find a big hallway. It didn't look a thing like his old castle. There were pictures of his son, Iggy Koopa, all over the place. Also there were Koopa guards walking up and down the hall, and he had no troops.

Bowser stepped out into the hall and greeted one guard. "Hello, you must know me, King of the Koopas, Bowser. Can you tell me where I am?"

The guard poked his spear into Bowser's chest and said, "You're a prisoner of war. You shall not leave your cell until Master tells us to take you to the kitchen to be cooked."

Bowser didn't know what to do. He looked in the room of his so-called cell that looked like heaven to him. He then looked at the guard again and moved the spear from his chest in a polite way, then said, "What do you mean, be cooked?"

The guard looked at Bowser in a strange way and said, "Master eats all who go in the special cell. It's the rule."

Bowser jumped back in surprise. His own son was going to eat him?! NEVER!!!

Bowser grabbed the guard and hurled him at another one just coming into the hall. He then did a butt-stomp on them to make sure they were dead, then ran down hall after hall killing every guard he saw. Finally he went up some stairs into a big door and saw his son being fanned by one guard and having frog legs dropped into his mouth by a second. But that wasn't the surprise that almost made Bowser faint; his son was full-grown, as big as he was. Bowser stomped up to Iggy but turned his attention to the guards and stepped on both of them until they were flat as a Goomba. He then threw the frog legs out the window.

Iggy got up, turned to his father, and said, "Those frog legs were just baked."

Bowser, who knew that Iggy was a spoiled brat, said, "Yeah, and your chefs were gonna bake me too. What's up with that?"

"Well, I... what?!"

"Before I killed this one guard, he said that I was put into the special cell and that any prisoner of war will be eaten by his master, who is you. It's the rule."

"Yes, it is a rule, but I put you in the cell because it's the best place with the best beds in the castle besides my own bed upstairs. Anyway, I made that rule so the guards will be scared away from sleeping on those beds and ruining them like they used to."

"Well, then, how are you doing, son?" Now Bowser wasn't so mad at the world and wished he hadn't killed half of his son's guards.

"I'm just happy that you're alive, Dad. That blast stopped your heart and if I hadn't been walking by on that path that very minute, you might have died. I did what I learned from Mom to make the heart beat again and I'm happy it worked. Too bad that you killed her."

Bowser looked down at the floor to hide the tears that started to leak down his face. "Thanks son, you're a life saver. I mean it, you saved my life."

Iggy smiled and grabbed his father's hand. "No problem. How are you dealing with life now that you don't have a castle or troops?"

"I decided to side with the good guys."

"WHAT?!" Iggy fell backwards and hit his head on the wall. That knocked him out.

"That's what I would do too if my sons ever said that." Bowser called for guards to take Iggy away to get healed. The guards didn't like it when they saw the so-called prisoner of war standing there with their master knocked out so they tried to chop Bowser's head off. After a battle with lots of blood, they finally captured Bowser and took him to the kitchen. Iggy was taken to his room to rest.

Chapter 2-The Special Today

Finally, there would be a king and queen for the Mushroom Kingdom. Everybody woke up to see Mario's surprise in the newspaper and remember the previous day.

Toad went to fetch the newspaper for Mario and saw an article that he just had to read. He wasn't a good reader so it took him awhile. An hour later he finally brought the paper to Mario, who was drinking coffee and eating a bagel.

Mario looked at Toad, who was grinning and holding the newspaper up for him. "What did you do, get lost?"

Toad looked nervous; he'd never talked to a king before. "Sorry King Mario, but I was just reading the front page about you and Peach and I can't read well."

"Don't worry. Anyway, you don't have to talk to me differently because I'm in the royal throne or whatever it is. Just call me Mario no matter what."

Peach looked over at Toad. "Same here."

Chef Torte came into the room with a big wedding cake. "I veard that vou ver getting varried so I vaked a vack ver vou."

Peach stared at him strangely. "Right... thanks."

"Ver welcome!" He then walked away, leaving the giant cake on the table.

Peach looked at it, then at Mario and Toad. "What did he say?"

Mario shook his head. "Don't ask me, I don't understand French chefs."

"Well, at least we have a cake. I hope it doesn't come to life. I'll cut a piece for every servant in the castle and if there's enough, for the village."

Toad climbed up on a chair. "That's nice of you." Peach just smiled and got the knife to cut the cake.

Mario stood up and pushed in his chair. "Time to get ready to go to Bowser's Keep."

Peach looked startled. "I forgot you were going there. But, do you really have to? We're getting married."

Mario went over to her and kissed her. "I'll be back, honey. I don't think Bowser is going to kill me. I just want to make sure that there's no threat to the kingdom."

"You're right, thanks Mario. But just..."

Toad butted in and said, "When are ya gonna cut the cake, woman?"

Peach just stared at him and said, "When I said you didn't have to talk to me like the way you talked to Mario when you came in, I meant you should talk to me the same way you had while I was a princess."

Toad blinked. "Sorry.. .you lost me there. You talk too fast."

Peach pointed at him. "No cake for you!"

Toad started to cry while Mario kissed Peach again and headed out to the forest to go to Bowser's Keep. Little did he know that Bowser wasn't there and was in trouble himself.

Bowser must have fallen asleep and woke up to find himself in a big pot with almost a thousand chains around him. He tried to move but got shocked. There was a guard chopping up carrots and chicken nearby but out of reach for a fire attack. The guard moved over to get some more chicken and said, "Master will be happy with chicken Bowser soup." He then laughed and got some cabbage from a shelf.

Bowser said, "Funny that this chain broke right here. Maybe I could get free now." Bowser started to move around even though he was still getting shocked. The pain hurt like mad but it was just a trap for the cook.

The guard ran over with his knife to see what was happening when Bowser used his fire breath to fry the cook. The cook threw the knife into the air and it broke one of Bowser's chains. Bowser was amazed at how strong the knife was but quickly grabbed it in his hand and started cutting the other chains with no problem. He then hopped out of the pot and ran out of the kitchen to find the dining room, where some guards and other troops were sitting waiting to eat him. Bowser then found shelves with big jars on then and started to throw them like crazy at the troops, shouting, "EAT THIS!!!"

After the dust and pieces of glass had cleared, nobody besides Bowser was standing up. All were on the ground with pieces of glass here and there, and one guard had no eyes. What a surprise that was. Bowser stomped on the ones that looked like they were still alive and then walked out of the room like nothing had happened and closed the door behind him. He walked around the many halls, finding himself in the same place over and over again. He tried every door but they were all empty. Eventually he found a door that he knew led to the room he'd been in last night. He opened the wide doors and stepped in to find the room, also empty. He then heard a shout for guards and a whole bunch of troops ran past the room he was in without even looking at him. Bowser knew that Iggy must've found the mess of his troops in the dining room.

Bowser stayed in the room and looked around. He then found a pink diary of Iggy's. Bowser never taught his kids to like the color pink. He shrugged and opened it anyway; there was no lock or anything on it. Bowser read:

July 18th, 1998
Dear Diary,

Today I have found my mother. I thought she was dead for good when my father said he'd killed her, but she really just dumped him. He probably wanted to look all tough and stuff. I didn't tell him because he might've thought I was a liar but then Morton found out my secret after I told Lemmy so he told Dad. We had a little talk and he grounded me for lying when I was really telling the truth. So that night, I ran away and here I am now, in a dark cave in the middle of Dark Land. I can't see Bowser's Keep from here but I know I'm probably only a mile or two away so I have to get up pretty early and start running. He'll have his troops after me in no time at all.

Very tired,
Iggy Koopa

Bowser read it all over again and started to cry. Why had he done this? He remembered he'd told his other kids that one of his guards killed Iggy, then he'd killed a guard at random as a supposed punishment. It was then that the Koopa Clan broke up and why Bowser was now alone. He should have let them cook him, he would have been better off.

"Hey Dad, looking at my stuff?" Bowser closed the book, put it away, and turned around to see his son Iggy and his guards standing there with their spears ready. "Thanks a lot for getting rid of my troops and best cook. Maybe we'll try again tomorrow and have a feast, after what you did. I didn't want this to happen, Dad, but know it will." He looked at the guards behind him, then pointed at Bowser. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!"

The guards ran at Bowser with their spears pointed at his chest, but he wouldn't go anywhere without a good old-fashioned fight.

Mario looked at the new stone bridge that lead to Bowser's Keep. He'd thought that Bowser wouldn't want a crummy, wooden bridge that could brake easily. Mario started to walk across it when a Fire Cheep Cheep jumped across the bridge, then a second one landed on it and started to spray red goo out of its mouth. Mario just kept on walking, avoiding some more Cheeps that flew right at him. Cheep Cheeps are the most annoying thing ever created since Morton. Mario walked up to the big wooden doors and pushed them open to find himself in a room full of statues of Bowser himself. Mario knew these statues fired lasers and could be trouble if he didn't run fast enough. Mario got ready and GO... he ran all the way to the other side of the hall while lasers shot at him from everywhere possible. He pushed open the door at the end and missed a laser that went through it by an inch.

"How does Bowser ever get through there? I can run way faster than him," Mario said while trying to catch his breath.

He then looked around the next room, which was filled with ice. What a nice place for Bowser. He'd probably get a piece of ice when he was mad and melt it. Nah, he'd probably bite the head off one of his troops instead. Mario skied all the way to the other side without difficutly because there were no troops in the way. He went into the next room, where there was nothing. It was just a normal, large square room where there was a locked door on one side and an opened door on the other. The locked door was the entrance to Bowser's real castle, containing the living quarters and many maze-like halls. The opened door led to more challenges that he would have to face, but they probably wouldn't be too hard without Bowser's troops around. The problem was that Mario had to enter the door leading to where Bowser lived, and he didn't have the key. He decided that he would go to the other rooms and look for something he could use to break the door down. Thus resolved, he moved on.

The next room wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought. The moving and disappearing platforms in this room were all over the place and three stories high from the bottom, which was a long way down; Mario could just make out the top of the spikes that stuck out of the floor below. One ewrong move and Mario would plummet to his death. Mario yawned. This was old stuff. If Bowser's troops were here, he'd worry. But now, no problem.

He jumped onto the first platform and it moved up to a batch of vanishing ones. He jumped on one but it quickly disappeared and he fell and grabbed the platform that he'd been on a second before. The platform moved back up to where Mario started.

About 25 minutes later, he grabbed the ledge of the opening at the end of the room and entered a large hall that led to the next room. "Nothing here to help me," Mario said, observing the room before turning back around and walking further down the long hall.

Mario opened the big, wide, oak doors that led to the next room to find... a giant lava pit with a wooden bridge in the middle and an ax on the other side. "What a classic place," Mario said smiling. "I remember the time I first freed Peach from this room. Bowser didn't have any hair and he had buck teeth. What an ugly thing he was." Mario easily walked past the bridge and picked up the ax. "Maybe I can use this."

Bowser groaned while he was forced to eat stuffing. The troops and guards wanted to make Bowser fatter (if that was possible) before they cooked him the next day. The guards were also running around the castle looking for a new cook. Bowser heard Iggy talking to his so-called "Top Officer" about the happenings.

"King Bowser is falling into our trap," Iggy said with an evil grin on his face just like Bowser once had. "We will burn the flesh off his skin and then feed his meat to the troops. Our troops will never go hungry again."

"Yes, Master," said the guard. "You will then be king."

"Just maybe. What about my brothers? They may overrule my power when they hear I'm king. Or maybe they'll be angry at me for killing our father. But I must proceed with the plan."

"Yes, but why did you save him from the blast earlier?"

"That was a plan I made. I didn't want to tell this to anybody in case it slipped out. First, I made a house and yard that would suit Mushroom people. Then, I made a robot family and gave them the brains of prisoners of war that I had captured long ago when my troops invited Rose Town. After hearing my spy troops saying that Bowser was heading towards the village, I used my pet bunny to lead him off the path to one that our men made. When my troops said that Bowser ate my pet, I used the shock pad on it to make him jump high out of Bowser and away back here."

"What was that for?"

"Hey, I love my bunny, Buster."

Bowser laid back in his cell, eating some more stuffing and listening to his son's tale. So he'd almost ate the rabbit that he'd bought for Iggy after he had almost killed Luigi. Even if that was just five years ago, Bowser was surprised that the bunny was still so active. Well, Iggy did take perfect care of him. Bowser shook his head. Forget about the rabbit, his son set him up in a trap to kill him and become king. Bowser was strapped in energy chains that drained his energy. If these weren't on him, he'd kill every single one of them right where they stood.

There was a window behind where Iggy and his top guard was standing, talking some more about Iggy's evil plan and about their future. Bowser looked at them and then at the window, where he saw a familiar face. He would have been happy to see him, but his talking would give him a headache. Yes, Morton Koopa was looking through the window at them. He was now a lot bigger than Iggy or Bowser (it is possible) and very ugly too. He smashed through the window and landed on a guard who was just starting to talk about the supply of cheese in the supply room. Morton quickly jumped and the guard got up and ran away, crying in pain.

"Oy, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to listen to mumbo-jumbo," Iggy said with his evil grin still spread across his face.

"Wass up brother, thought I would drop in. Well, I did drop in because I went through the window on your guard. So I came from up there from down here. Maybe just about a couple feet. Or is it a yard? Well, 36 feet is a yard. Or is it 32? What about inches, I forgot to talk about that? Maybe I should measure how many inches it takes to go from the floor to the window. Then, I can turn it into feet and yards. Wait, what about meters?"

Iggy's grin turned into a frown and his face turned bright red. "Please don't start. Anyway, I'm in the middle of something about Da... I mean the new cook because Da... I mean one of my troops killed him because he thought it was D... I mean a Shy Guy. My troops don't like them." He smiled while trying to think of other excuses.

Morton looked confused, "Yeah, okay. But why do you keep on saying Da? Don't tell me, you're starting to speak weird. I was in that stage once. But that was when I was young. Which I no longer am. Or am I? Let me think. I'm 34 years old which makes Dad 51. Did you know that?"

"No, now shut up."

Bowser couldn't keep his mouth shut. "No Morton, I'm really 46."

Morton turned to face the wide open door of the special cell, where he saw his father with a mouth full of stuffing. "Hey Dad," Morton said without knowing the dangers his father was in, "I guess you're also visiting Iggy. And you're staying for supper too. Wow. Iggy sure got nicer since the last time I saw him. He's feeding somebody besides himself for once. Wait, he has to feed his troops too or they might die. Wait, I'll ask one." He pointed to a guard walking down the hall. "Does Iggy feed you? Because he should or you might starve. I think you might. Or maybe you hunt your own food. Like my cat..."

The guard just stared at him and nodded his head. He then ran back down the hall.

"What a funny guy. Are all your troops like that? Because if they are, they're weird. No, I meant funny."

Iggy just looked at him in a disgusted way and shouted, "GUARDS!!!"

Mario was back in the big square room where the door that lead to Bowser was. He picked the ax up in his hands and swung as hard as he could, but the ax just swung back at Mario and he dodged it by a hair. The ax then hit the ground and smashed into tiny pieces, leaving only one sharp piece left.

"Bowser has the weirdest doors," Mario said, going over and picking up the sharp piece, "but this isn't going to help me at all." He then went back into the ice room and slid around the floor on his bottom, trying to think of a plan. "Maybe I can cut a piece of the ice here and use it.... but it might melt too quickly in my hands because I'm warm blooded..." Mario stood up and almost fell over. "But my butt is c..c..cold."

Mario went onto a snow bank where he wouldn't slide around and cut a piece of an icicle hanging from the low roof on the side of the room. It was about five feet long and extremely heavy. He then held it and thought some more. "Maybe the Bowser statues can help me," Mario said, opening the door that lead back to them.

Inside the room were the many Bowser statues that shot lasers. Mario quickly froze and looked around. Then he spotted a golden Bowser statue. He knew they wouldn't move unless something passed in front of it or hit it. Taking careful aim, Mario through his icicle at the statue. The icicle hit the statue on the horn and snapped in half. The statue's eyes turned red and turned to face Mario, who was now running as fast as he could. The statue quickly followed and shot lasers at Mario. One laser hit Mario's shoe and burnt his foot so bad that he couldn't walk on it. Once he opened the door leading to the normal room, he crawled over to the oak door. The statue quickly followed and shot a laser at him. Luckily it missed him and hit the locked door, burning right through. The statue was about to make his next attack when the laser that it'd fired came right back at him and burnt a hole through his chest. The statue then let out a groan and split into little pieces just like the ax had.

Mario looked on the floor where he saw the pieces of the ax and the statue and turned to look towards the door, which was now on fire. Mario then picked up a cup-like piece of the Bowser statue as well as another sharp piece and headed over to the ice. He used the sharp piece to slash through the ice, filled the cup with cold water, and threw the water at the fire. Some flames were extinguished but quickly came back. Mario then filled the cup up with water and kept on throwing it at the fire as fast as he could. Finally he cooled down the last little flame and walked through the opening which once housed a door.

Once he got to the other side, he looked around down the halls and sat on the floor to take off his shoes and socks so he could rub his sore feet. He looked at his right foot and found there was a hole in it. It was bleeding bad so Mario used his sock to wrap it around the hole, which stopped the bleeding. He then placed his shoes back on and tried to get up, but he whopped around a little bit. After about four minutes he finally got back up, straight as can be. He then continued to walk down a hall towards Bowser's throne room.

Toad 1: Will Mario find his way to Bowser's throne room, where Bowser won't be? And will Morton and Bowser be chicken soup? Wait for the next episode of Bowser's New Life.

Toad 2: Wait, wait, wait. First, it's only a chapter of a story, not a show. Plus, it's called The New Life of Bowser, not Bowser's New Life.

Toad 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Toad 2: Anyway, Bowser and Morton are soooooo dead because Iggy has more power than any of them.

Toad 1: Iggy is Bowser's son, so he can't be as powerful because he younger.

Toad 2: That's the thing, he's younger so he'll be more of a challenge, because he doesn't have all the stuffing knocked out of him like Bowser does.

Toad 1: Well, he's getting stuffing put back into him.

Toad 2: Yeah, that's right... but Mario is going to make it to the throne room because there's no troops left.

Toad 1: Shut up already, if we talk too much the humans won't want to read this story.

Toad 2: But this story stinks the way it is.

Toad 1: Grr...

Read on!

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