Chapter 1
The Koopas were on summer vacation and they were extremely bored.
Bowser:Hey, kids! It's time for your favorite part of summer!
Ludwig: We get to go back to school?
Bowser: No silly! You get to try and kidnap Peach even more!
Lemmy: But King Dad, we already try to kidnap her twice on school days.
Iggy: Four times on Saturday and Sunday.
Bowser: I know, but you guys aren't doing anything else.
So the Koopalings began their adventure. Meanwhile, it was happy day for everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Peach were finally getting married!
Luigi: I'm happy for-a you, bro!
Luigi was the best man.
Mario: T-T-T-Thanks Luigi.
Yoshi walked in. He was an usher.
Yoshi: Congrats, Mario! I'm so happy for you!
Mario:T-T-T-Thanks Luigi.
Yoshi: He's nervous is'nt he, Luigi?
Mario: I am not married! I can't wait to get nervous!
Luigi: Yes he is.
Toad: Congratulations Mario! *wipes a tear from his eye* You two will be the best couple!
Mario: T-T-T-Thanks Luigi.
Toad: (getting angry) For the ******* last ******* time! I am ******* not Luigi!
Meanwhile, Peach was just as "married" as Mario.
Daisy: I'm happy for you, Peach!
Daisy was the maid of honor.
Peach: T-T-T-Thanks Daisy.
Birdo walked in. She was the bridesmaid.
Birdo: Congrats, Peach! I'm so happy for you!
Peach: T-T-T-Thanks Daisy.
Birdo: She's nervous, huh Daisy?
Peach: I am not Daisy! I can't wait to get nervous!
Daisy: Yes she is.
Toadette: (wiping a tear from her eye) Congratulations Peach!
Peach: T-T-T-Thanks Daisy.
Toadette: (getting angry) ********** ******** ************** **** ****** ****** *** **** **** *** Peach! ******* ********* ********* ****** ***** **** ******** ******** ******* **** ***** ****** ******* not Daisy!
Daisy: We finally know where Toad gets it from.
Wooster walked in. He was in charge of cleaning the toilets.
Wooster: *sigh *Ze deed has been done, madame.
Peach: T-T-T-Thanks Daisy.
DK: Where are the refreshments?
DK had recently licked the toilets.
Wooster: Ugh,you iziot I just cleaned those!
Meanwhile,Mario had just calmed down. Suddenly he heard a high-pitched scream. He gasped.
Toad: Wait, that's not Peach!
Yoshi: It's Daisy!
Luigi: Grrrrrrrrrrrr...
Luigi ran to the bride's room as fast as he could.
Luigi: I'm-a coming, Daisy!
When he got there he saw everyone was fine, but Peach was gone! Mario,Toad, and Yoshi followed up close behind.
Mario: What happened?
Daisy: Peach was really nervous, me and Birdo went to get the pastor to calm her down, when we came back, she was gone!
Mario fainted..
Wooster: You shouldn't have left in ze first place, you know zose Koopas!
DK: Hey, cut her some slack, Toilethead!
Luigi: Yeah, she was just trying to help!
Yoshi: Mario's out cold!
Everyone thought it was Bowser, but it wasn't. Meanwhile, the Koopalings were coming to the church.
Ludwig: You know, King Dad is right, we can't just sit around all summer.
Everyone else agreed.
Roy: Besides, I think it's my lucky day!
Larry: (reading bulletin board outside church) Mario and Peach start their joys of... companionship?! Aye carumba!
Morton: This is odd and why would Peach want to get married to an idiot like Mario and why doesn't she want to get married to good 'ol King Dad but he is already happily married and probably doesn't want to get married to Peach and...
Wendy: (whispering) Hey, look over there, a Toad came out of the church!
They got behind a big tree. They got on top of each other oldest to youngest so they could see what he was doing.
Larry: (whispering and reading changed bulletin board) Peach kidnapped, what kind of tragedy has befallen us. KIDNAPPED?!
Iggy: We were supposed to kidnap her!
Roy: Yeah, who else would want her anyways?
Ludwig: We have to find the kidnapper!
Just as he said this a thousand Toads armed with guns ran to where the Koopalings were.
Lemmy: *gulp* Unless these guys have other things planned for us!
The Koopalings were brought to the scene of the crime in handcuffs.
Larry: I'm telling you, we didn't do it!
Wendy: Yeah. How do you know she didn't just run away?
Daisy: We have this!
She showed them a note left by the real kidnappers. This is what it read:
To who it may concern,
I have taken Peach away so that she will not be able to marry Jumpman, like I did not get to. This may be horrible news to you, but I am doing it for a good reason.
Love, your darkest Nightmare
Lemmy: Who is Jumpman?
DK: I think I know.
Everyone looked at DK. Dramatic music played.
Meanwhile, things weren't going too well for Peach either. She was tied up and placed in the back of a wooden carraige.
Peach: Please let me go! I have to get married!
She had finally calmed down.
?????: Sorry, I cannot allow that.
Peach: Who are you? And where are you taking me?!
?????: I cannot tell this. However, if you want to know who I am...
Peach's captor went to the back of the carraige and lifted off its hood.
Peach: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
Who is the kidnapper? Find out in the next chapter!
Chapter 2
Now where were we? Ah yes, the kidnapper had just taken off their hood. But before we go there, we have other things to take care of.
DK was explaining the story of the kidnapper.
DK: A long time ago, me and Mario were the worst of enemies. So bad, that I stole his girlfriend and ran up these bars at a construction site. At that time, it was hard to pick out good names. So they figured, "Hey, he jumps, and he's a man, so let's call him, Jumpman!" Everyone agreed, and that's how they got "Jumpman". So anyways, he came after me and rescued his girlfriend, whose name is Pauline by the way. Later Mario captured me, and my son had to come and rescue me. Then, I stopped bugging Mario and began with his cousin, Stanley. After that, these crocodiles stole all my bananas. Later me and Mario made up and became friends. Then he introduced me to you, Luigi, and we became friends. So you guys invitied me to all your parties and stuff. Pauline got mad because we were friends now and swore that she would get revenge. A long time later, you guys invited me to their wedding, and I was afraid of this happening.
Luigi: We have to get her back!
Larry: Uh... oh yeah, let's get her! Back, I mean.
Toad: Oh no, you ******* Koopalings are staying in a place where we don't have to worry about you!
So they put the Koopalings in jail and ventured out to stop Pauline, dragging the still-fainted Mario by his feet.
Ok, now we can come back to Peach and the kidnapper (even though you already know who it is).
Peach: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Pauline: WHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peach: Help! I'm being kidnapped by...
Pauline: Pauline!
Peach: Oh. Why are you doing this?
Pauline: I was Jumpman's, or as you call him, (does the quotey thing with her fingers) "Mario's", former girlfriend. Then he made friends with that... APE! So I dumped him. I vowed I'd get my revenge, and well, here you are.
Peach: What do you want with me?
Pauline: (smiling evilly) Well Princess, we will find out later, won't we? WHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is, of course, unless Jumpman-
Peach: Mario.
Pauline: Whatever! Unless Mario and his gang show up. WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Pauline got back in her carraige and started off.
Well the Koopalings were in jail. It looks like they failed again.
Iggy: Well, we're in jail. It looks like we failed again.
Ludwig: Wait, did anyone bring their wand?
Morton: I did.
Roy: We'll do anything! Just get us out of here!
Morton: Anything? I repeat, anything? Truly most truly anything? Absolute-
All but Morton: YES!!!
Morton: You have to listen, hear, observe my longest speech!
The Koopalings were desperate, so they agreed. Morton knocked down the bars and they were on their way. They called their ride the Koopaling Carrier and followed out to where everyone else was going.
Now we can go to the Mario Gang. They didn't have a vehicle so they had to walk to find Pauline.
Yoshi: How... much... further?
Luigi: As-a long as it takes to find Pauline!
With the Mario Gang were Yoshi, Luigi, Daisy, Birdo, Toad, Toadette, DK, Wooster, and an unconscious Mario.
Yoshi: But I'm tired of dragging Mario!
Birdo: Sorry, honey, but we're going to have to do things we don't want to do.
DK: Hey, do you hear something?
Everyone stopped. Sure enough, they could hear something.
Toadette: Yikes! It's the Koopaling Carrier!
Daisy: Run!!!
Yoshi picked up Mario and ran as fast as his dino legs could carry him. But it was hopeless. The Koopaling Carrier trapped them against a nearby mountain. (They're in the desert, by the way. In this story there are mountains in the desert.) Roy and Morton came out holding Bob-ombs.
Morton: Surrender, give up, put your hands where we can see them!
Roy: Or we'll blow you to smitherienes!
What could they do? They gave themselves up. Wendy and Iggy came out with rope in their hands. They tied them up and threw them on the ground.
Ludwig: I'm the oldest, so I'm the leader! Lemmy! Larry! Go put our prisoners in the trunk!
Lemmy: Okay, okay! Cool your jets, man!
Larry only sighed. Lemmy and Larry put the gang in their unusually large trunk.They got in the Carrier and Ludwig started it up.
Larry: Wait! We forgot Mario!
Ludwig: (smiling evilly) Oh yes, can't forget about Mario. Lemmy! Larry! Put him in the trunk!
Lemmy and Larry sighed but grabbed Mario and put him in the trunk.
Larry: Shouldn't we tie him up?
Lemmy: Nah, he's not harmin' no one.
They got back in the Carrier. Ludwig started it up. This time they left.
Meanwhile, in the unusually big trunk, the gang was making a plan.
Luigi: We have to wake Mario up, we can't do anything else!
Daisy: Mario, wake up!!!
Luigi: Wake up!!!
Birdo: Please wake up!!!
Toad: ******* wake up this ******* instant!!!
Toadette: ******** ***** ****** ****** *** wake up!!!
DK: Come on, man, wake up!!!
Wooster: Wake up zis instant, you bafoon!!!
Yoshi: Mario, wake up.
Mario: What's up?
Luigi: Pauline came back like she said she would.
Daisy: And took Peach.
Mario: Yeah, I remember someone took her, but the rest is all blank.
Wooster: Listen, ve need you to go hijack ze Koopaling's car, zen stop ze car and untie us.
Birdo: Then tie up the Koopalings and put them in the trunk.
Mario got out of the trunk. He quietly got on the hood of the Carrier. He was very nervous.
Will Mario make it? Find out in the next chapter.
Chapter 3
When we left off, Mario was very nervous about stopping the Koopalings.
Mario: I can do this.
Mario was about to smash open the window when the Carrier approached a train. It was moving really fast, so Ludwig violently hit the brakes, making Mario fall backwards and hit his head on the trunk. HARD. So he was back in his daze. Meanwhile, at Pauline's house...
Pauline: Well, it looks like your beloved Jump-
Peach:MARIO!!!
Pauline: ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I have had it with you!!! Mario this! Mario that! What's so good about him anyways?
In frustration, Pauline grabbed an axe and put it high over her head.
Peach: *gasp*
Pauline chops up a door.
Pauline: Hm... I never can get that door open.Now come with me to, my dungeon! WHAHAHAHA!!!
Pauline stopped laughing and went to the dungeon. Just then the Koopalings broke in to the house.
Ludwig: Ok, at all costs find Peach!
Other Koopalings: Right!
They ran down to the dungeon, only to find there were many doors that lead into it, nine to be exact.
Iggy: We'll each take one, maybe the other two won't be important.
So they all went to a different door. Now let's go back to the Mario Gang. If you can remember, Mario was knocked out again and lying on the trunk, when he suddenly woke up.
Mario: Where am I?
Wooster: LET US OUT OF ZIS DIRTY TRUNK!!!
Mario: Huh?
Mario opened the unusually large trunk, and found everyone inside tied up.
Mario: What happened?
Toad: Pauline came back and stole Peach.
Mario: Yeah, I think I remember something like that... Owwww!!! My head!
Mario fell back into his daze.
Toadette:WAKE **** UP!!!
Pauline runs out and sees the Mario Gang tied up, and Mario still dazed.
Pauline: You thought you were going to save your fiancé? Hah!
Pauline tied up their hands, then took off the rope around their bodies. She also made poor Birdo carry Mario. She started leading them through her dungeon.
Pauline: In conclusion, my dungeon is a great place for keeping prisoners. Any questions?
Birdo: So heavy!
Pauline: Good! Now to show you my secret weapon...
Pauline went to another room. No one had any other choice but to follow. There was a huge platform that everyone was standing on and that's it.
Yoshi: What's so secret about this?
Pauline: You'll find out...
She pushed a button and a giant blender came out of the middle of the room. (If you've seen The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror V, it's kinda like that.) Then she pushed all the boys into the blender.
Luigi: MARIO! PLEASE WAKE UP!
Mario: ...
Luigi: ARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Toad: We need to get out!
Yoshi: And rescue our girlfriends!
DK and Wooster: Hey!
Luigi: Why do I feel a sudden force against my will?
They looked and saw that Pauline had turned on spin.
Everyone except Mario: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
Will the guys make it out of the blender? Find out in Chapter 4!
Chapter 4
When we left off, the boys had been trying to not be cut up... or we left off at the sneak peek... I dunno! I'll start with the Koopalings.
They hadn't had any luck since the doors they had chosen all went around in circles. Larry and Iggy stopped back in the center.
Larry: It's no use man, we're never gonna find the princess!
Iggy: Yeah, boy is Dad gonna fre- Hey listen!
Larry: Dude, you're starting to sound like Navi!
Iggy: No Larry, I'm serious, listen!
They listened in.
Larry: That's just Wendy!
Iggy: No that's not Wendy, that's....
Both: Birdo!
Larry: Hmm... I think you're right, Iggy! Come on! Let's check it out!
So they ran in to the door. Sure enough they found the girls strapped to chairs, with Pauline right in the middle of them.
Larry: (whispering) There's Peach, but there's that lady DK was talking about, and she looks dangerous! ... Iggy? ... Iggy?
Larry walked around until he found a disembodied spleen.
Larry: OH MY DAD!!! SHE KILLED IGGY!!!
Iggy: No, I'm fine!
Larry: Oh.
Iggy: Com'ere!
Larry walked up the stairs to where Iggy was.
Iggy: Look!
Larry: There's Navi again.
???????: I admit, she was annoying, but in Majora's Mask you get an idiot fairy who doesn't know anything!
Larry: Who are you?
Fireflower11: I'm Fireflower11, the author/narrator of this story.
Iggy: You-you're the author!
Fireflower11: That's right!
Larry: Oh happy DAD! Does this mean that you can make us kidnap the princess? Please, just once! We need to bring her home to King Dad!
Fireflower11: Well... ok!
Larry and Iggy: Oh thank you!
Larry: So what did you want me to see, Iggy?
Iggy: Look in there!
Larry:What kind of sick twisted mind would cut people up in a blender?
Iggy: It's kinda like The Simpson's Treehouse of HorrorV!
Fireflower11: That line is so overused, man!
Meanwhile...
Lemmy: Let's just give up!
Morton: Where's your team spirit? We have to find Peach or Dad will be sad hopefully not mad but if we bring Peach home he will be glad! Hey, I just rhymed! WEDD-
Roy: (punches him) Shut up! Let's go...
Larry: Wait!
Iggy: *pant* We *pant* found the *pant pant* princess!
Roy: Alright Paperweight!
Ludwig: Where is she?
Iggy: *pant* Down *pant* this hallway! *pant pant pant*
Lemmy: Way to go guys!
Morton: Who's the Pant Pant Princess?
Wendy: Shut up, Morton!
So they went down the hallway to the laboratory with Bob-ombs in their hands. Now let's go back to the blender thing.
The boys had been clinging on to the blender the whole time. It looked as though they would die.
DK: Maybe not!
DK picked up the rest of the guys and climbed up the blender until they were at the lid. DK punched it off and they climbed up.
Mario: What's up?
Wooster: NOW YOU VAKE UP!!!
DK had gotten everyone out but Toad. He was pulling him up when he lost feeling in his arm. Toad fell towards the chooper thing.
Everyone: TOAD!!!
Toad: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Does Toad live? Find out in Chapter 5!