Round 1, Part 2
Crazy Packers Fan: We're back here at
Mario Madness 2, for the second half of round one! After a crazy day of
upsets, close calls, and even some cheating, it would be hard to top that,
but I certainly hope these 32
contestants can try to do so. Let's first go over which matches will take place this time:
#1-Tubba Blubba vs. #16-Sushie
#8-Gourmet Guy vs. #9-Lakilester
#4-Kooper vs. #13-Huff 'N' Puff
#5-Goomba King vs. #12-Goombario
#3-Bombette vs. #14-Parakarry
#6-General Guy vs. #11-Crystal King
#2-Tutankoopa vs. #15-Watt
#7-Lava Piranha vs. #10-Bow
"Classic" Wild Cards
#1-Donkey Kong vs. #16-Maple
#8-Tap Tap vs. #9-Smithy
#4-King Bob-omb vs. #13-Geno
#5-Game Guy vs. #12-Mallow
#3-Metal Mario vs. #14-Mack
#6-Angry Sun vs. #11-Nep-enut
#2-Morton Koopa Jr. vs. #15-Croco
#7-Plum vs. #10 Koopa T. Quick
Crazy Packers Fan: I'm joined again by Roy and Larry, who humored us by their predictions of who would reach the Final Four last time. This time, I ask you two for your opinions on some other things. Roy, which match do you think is an absolute lock?
Roy: There is no contest between #1
Donkey Kong and #16 Maple in the "Classic" Wild Cards bracket. First
of all, Donkey Kong is better than Maple in every athletic way possible. Second, DK's so much stronger.
Third, when it comes to popularity, Donkey Kong has been around since Nintendo started making video games. Maple? She's just some golfer in Mario Golf for the Nintendo 64, and I'm sure that not that many people played that game. Nobody knows who she is. This is totally one-sided towards Donkey Kong. There's no way he'll lose. It's a lock.
Larry: As for me, I'd like to say that there will be a major upset in the "Classic" Wild Cards bracket besides the DK-Maple battle. #12 Mallow is totally underrated, and #5 Game Guy steals everyone's coins. Mallow will easily win this matchup. Mallow's got to be incredibly popular, and also very athletic, considering all the training he got in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, which you should buy today! This message brought to you by your local GameStop.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thanks for your predictions.
While these two have been predicting matches in the
"Classic" Wild Cards bracket, we first start in the Paper Mario bracket, which should be pretty exciting on its own. First is the laughable matchup between #1 Tubba Blubba and #16 Sushie!
Tubba Blubba: There's no way I can lose!
Sushie: Come on, make it fair! Make it a swimming match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Fine, then, a swimming match it will be!
Tubba Blubba: Wait a minute! How is that fair?
Crazy Packers Fan: It isn't.
Tubba Blubba: That's just great.
Crazy Packers Fan: You'll swim across this swimming pool. On your mark, get set, go!
Sushie hops in the pool first. Tubba Blubba then jumps in. He creates an enormous splash, which is enough to splash Sushie out of the pool.
Sushie: How is that fair?
Crazy Packers Fan: Again, it isn't.
By the time Sushie finds her way back to the pool, Tubba Blubba has reached the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tubba Blubba is the winner!
Tubba Blubba: The "Invincible" Tubba Blubba, you mean!
Crazy Packers Fan: That was quick and easy, but no one expected a close match between those two anyway. Here, however, should be a better match, as it is between #8 Gourmet Guy and #9 Lakilester!
Larry: I'm afraid Gourmet Guy may eat Lakilester for lunch. Literally.
Lakilester: Hey, stop trying to eat me!
Gourmet Guy: Hungry. Hungry...
Crazy Packers Fan: You're always hungry. Besides, you can't eat Lakilester!
Lakilester: Don't call me Lakilester! Call me Spike!
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, Lakilester.
This battle will involve you, Lakilester, throwing Spiny Eggs at
Gourmet Guy. You may throw five of them. If three or more of them hit Gourmet Guy without him eating them, you win. If he eats three or more of them without them hitting him, he wins.
Lakilester: This is way too easy!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go ahead.
Lakilester's first shot looks like it is about to hit Gourmet Guy's stomach, but he stretches and catches the Spiny Egg in his mouth. Then, for all to see, he chews and swallows the Spiny Egg.
Larry: That's all I want to see of this match.
Lakilester tosses another Spiny Egg
towards Gourmet Guy. He grabs this one by his mouth as well, eating it
in the same disgusting fashion.
Lakilester: I didn't realize this guy was so flexible.
Lakilester thinks of a plan, one that shows his brilliance.
Lakilester: If I toss three Spiny Eggs
all at the same time, he'll have a harder time grabbing them with his
mouth. Moreover, if I toss them at the ground instead of at him, they will bounce and hit his stomach before
he can grab them with his mouth!
Lakilester tosses three Spiny Eggs at
the same time toward the ground. They all hit the ground and turn
into Spinies, which Gourmet Guy eats easily.
Lakilester: I threw Red Spiny Eggs by mistake!
Crazy Packers Fan: Gourmet Guy is the winner!
Gourmet Guy: *burp*
Crazy Packers Fan: Now is time for a match that hopefully will not be disgusting. It is #4 Kooper vs. #13 Huff 'N' Puff!
Huff 'N' Puff: What's with the low seed?
Crazy Packers Fan: I'm not that big of a fan of yours.
Huff 'N' Puff: I'll make you pay for that by embarrassing Kooper!
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll see about that. For this match, Kooper is going to stand on this platform, and your job is to blow him off. You'll have 30 seconds to do so. This platform isn't too large, so Kooper will be hard-pressed to stay on it. Ready, set, go!
Huff 'N' Puff starts blowing some air at Kooper, who tries running against the wind to stay in place. Huff 'N' Puff suddenly stops blowing, and Kooper nearly runs off the platform, stopping himself just in time.
Kooper: That was close!
Huff 'N' Puff: This time, there will be no escape!
Huff 'N' Puff circles around Kooper, blowing in all directions. Kooper gets into his shell and spins around, getting enough friction to stop himself from getting blown off the platform. Finally, Huff 'N' Puff tries one last huge blast of wind at Kooper. Time runs out as Kooper goes flying off the platform.
Huff 'N' Puff: I win!
Crazy Packers Fan: Not necessarily. Let's look at the tape to see if Kooper was still on the platform when time ran out. Larry, turn on that TV monitor!
Larry: Sorry, that cannot be done.
Crazy Packers Fan: Why not?
Larry: Since you failed to mention our
television sponsor, Dry Bones's TVs, he pulled the plug on this
television, and won't let us turn it back on.
Crazy Packers Fan: Roy!
Roy: Right away!
Roy: Alright, turn on the TV monitor now.
Larry turns it on, and Crazy Packers
Fan looks at it, seeing Kooper barely remaining on the platform as time
Crazy Packers Fan: Kooper wins!
Huff 'N' Puff: NO!!! You're just favoring Kooper! I knocked him off fair and square!
Crazy Packers Fan: That is the correct call, and if you want to protest, go get in the protest line over there.
Huff 'N' Puff: I'm on my way!
Crazy Packers Fan: While he goes and wastes his time, we will move on to our next match, #5 Goomba King vs. #12 Goombario.
Goomba King: I'm the Goomba King for a reason!
Goombario: Because everyone else is too lazy to take your position from you!
Goomba King: Why don't you do it?
Goombario: I don't feel like it!
Goomba King: That's a sad excuse.
Crazy Packers Fan: It looks like we
have a rivalry going here, which should make this more interesting. You
two Goombas are going to both be put in your own rooms, where five Koopa
Troopas will attack you. Find a
way to kick all five Koopa Troopas out of your room before your opponent does and you win, but you cannot
exit the room yourself or you automatically lose. These rooms are empty squares, with two doors in each room, one in which you enter, and one in which the Koopa Troopas enter. They will both be closed after you are all in the rooms. Is this understood?
Goomba King: Sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then go to your rooms so we can get this match started.
The Goombas enter their rooms.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Goombario immediately tries headbonking
the Koopa Troopas. This is enough to get them in their shells.
Having no hands, Goombario has to open the door by using his mouth to pull on the doorknob. As a result,
the Koopa Troopas get out of their shells by the time he opens the door, and this time, they dodge his
Goombario: This is frustrating.
Goomba King is not having any success himself, however, as he experiences similar problems. He hops on the Troopas, but after he opens the door and they get out of their shells, they start dodging his jumps.
Goomba King: I can't be shown up by that Goombario!
Goombario starts to aggravate the Troopas, which start running at him, trying to bite him or attack him.
Goombario: Maybe I could use this to my advantage.
Goombario headbonks a Troopa, then runs
toward the door. The Troopa chases after him, but he sidesteps
the Troopa, who runs out of the room.
Goombario: That's one.
Koopa Troopas aren't exactly the smartest creatures, so they neither know that Goombario wants them to exit the room nor do they learn anything from the first Troopa. Goombario tricks them one by one, while Goomba King miserably fails on his attempts to jump on the Troopas and kick them out the door.
Crazy Packers Fan: Goombario is the winner!
Goomba King: Shown up by a Little Goomba.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's time for #3 Bombette to take on #14 Parakarry!
Bombette: I'm mad about my seeding! Shouldn't I be #1?
Crazy Packers Fan: Now, now, Bombette, you know I like you more than any other party member in Paper Mario, but the top two seeds are big-time Koopa Hockey League players who are about as powerful as Roy.
Larry: What a softie.
Roy: What does he mean by "as powerful as Roy"?
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's begin the battle, which I assure you will NOT be fixed.
Roy: Riiight, Crazy Panser Fan.
Crazy Packers Fan: By Roy, that is,
trying to get Sky Land pal Parakarry to win the same way he cheated to
get Tweeter to win. Larry, you keep a good eye on Roy to make sure he doesn't get out of that chair.
Larry: What good will that do? Roy can just beat me up, then do whatever he pleases!
Crazy Packers Fan: Alright, where's Mario?
Mario: Here-a I am!
Crazy Packers Fan: If Roy moves a muscle, fireball him!
Roy: OW!!! What was that for?
Mario: Your-a heart beat. It's a muscle, after-a all!
Crazy Packers Fan: You know what I mean, Mario. Don't you?
Roy: OW!!! I'm afraid he doesn't.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, at least Roy won't be going anywhere for a while.
Larry: Is Snickers sponsoring us too?
Crazy Packers Fan: (rolling his eyes)
It's finally time for the Bombette-Parakarry match, despite all the
distractions. In this match, there are five mailboxes around here. Parakarry must deliver a letter to each of three mailboxes before Bombette blows up three mailboxes. It doesn't matter which order you go in. Is this understood?
Parakarry: Of course!
Crazy Packers Fan: Good. On your mark, get set, go!
Bombette races toward a mailbox, while Parakarry races toward another. Each accomplishes his or her own task at approximately the same time. Each then races toward a different mailbox, doing what each one wants to do at the same time, creating a race toward the final mailbox.
Parakarry: Neither rain nor snow nor Bob-ombs blowing up will stop me from delivering this letter!
Both characters run at approximately the same speed. However, Bombette is able to blow up the mailbox much faster than Parakarry is able to reach into the mailbox and place the letter inside it.
Crazy Packers Fan: Bombette is the winner! You may leave Roy alone now, Mario.
Roy: Good thing this shell absorbs most of those fireballs!
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's now move on to the battle between #6 General Guy and #11 Crystal King!
Crystal King: What a pushover!
General Guy: I'll send my Shy Stacks after you!
Crazy Packers Fan: You can do that after your match, which is going to be simple. Get hit by one of Lakitu's Spiny Eggs, and you lose.
Crystal King: You can't hit me!
Crazy Packers Fan: Unluckily for you, even if one hits your clothing, you lose.
Crystal King: No fair!
Crazy Packers Fan: Too bad. And General Guy, no tank for you.
General Guy: What?!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, come on, did you actually think I was going to let you bring your tank along?
General Guy: Yes.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, I'm not!
General Guy: Okay.
Crazy Packers Fan: Both of you go over
to that circle of fun, where you'll be dodging Lakitu's Green Spiny
Crystal King: I'm not having any fun yet!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Lakitu starts tossing Spiny Eggs into
the circle of fun. Neither player seems very interested in dodging the
Spiny Eggs, however. Well, actually there's no way of telling what the
Crystal King is thinking, but he's not moving. Neither is General Guy,
who is barking out orders to some Shy Guys in the stands. The only reason
why both are still in it is that Lakitu has very poor aim.
Roy: You're an insult to Sky Land, Lakitu!
Larry: You stink, you loser!
Crazy Packers Fan: I should have hired a Goomba. Even a Goomba could toss Spiny Eggs better than you, and Goombas don't have hands!
Angrily, Lakitu starts tossing Spiny Eggs at the three commentators.
Lakitu: I quit! I'll never work for you again, Crazy Packers Fan!
Crazy Packers Fan: Good!
One of the Green Spiny Eggs tossed toward
the commentators bounces off the table they are sitting at
(it was the closest any Spiny Egg got to hitting them). It bounces several more times before hitting the Crystal King.
Crazy Packers Fan: General Guy is the winner!
Roy: You're really lucky. If that didn't bounce that way, you'd have to hire someone else.
Crazy Packers Fan: You're the lucky one. I was about to force you to start tossing Spiny Eggs!
Roy: You would have never gotten me to do it!
Crazy Packers Fan: That is insignificant
now. We will move on to the match between #2 Tutankoopa and #15
Tutankoopa: Is this even a battle?
Crazy Packers Fan: It is, whether you like it or not. You will both try to melt these ice sculptures of Mario before your opponent. Watt of course has her own power and Tutankoopa can cast spells. Can't you?
Tutankoopa: Spells? What are you talking about?
Crazy Packers Fan: I thought you could cast spells, or blasts or something. Come on, you remember battling Mario in Paper Mario, don't you?
Tutankoopa: I stopped wasting my time with that nonsense once I started playing hockey!
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, it looks you're at a disadvantage!
Roy: You're loving this because it now gives your precious Bombette a better chance at winning it all, right?
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, you ruined it for Panser! I don't want to hear anything from you!
Roy: You were about to ruin it for Tweeter if I didn't do that!
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, it's time
for the battle to begin. Well, you were right, Tutankoopa. This is no
While Watt starts melting her ice sculpture of Mario quickly, Tutankoopa tries to think of something.
Tutankoopa: How am I ever going to melt this sculpture of that idiot?
Mario: I'm-a no idiot!
Tutankoopa: Yeah, you are!
Mario starts throwing fireballs at Tutankoopa, who runs toward the ice sculpture.
Larry: We saw this before!
Mario, however, isn't as stupid as people
think. He stops fireballing when he realizes that Tutankoopa
wants him to fireball the ice sculpture.
Tutankoopa: There goes my plan!
Watt's sculpture is just about to fall apart, when she needs to sneeze.
Watt sneezes out a large fireball, which
goes right towards Tutankoopa's ice sculpture, melting it in one
Watt: No! No!
Tutankoopa: I win!
Larry: I didn't know Watt could sneeze!
Watt: I don't think I can! This isn't fair!
Crazy Packers Fan: You may not be able to sneeze, but you obviously just did, and Tutankoopa wins!
Watt: This definitely deserves a protest!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's time for the final match of the Paper Mario bracket, which is #7 Lava Piranha vs. #10 Bow!
Roy: There's no way you can think of a fair match between these two!
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll see about that. In this match, Lava Piranha will attempt to fireball Bow before Bow is able to slap him with her fan.
Lava Piranha: That's too hard!
Crazy Packers Fan: That's too bad! Go!
Lava Piranha tries shooting fireballs all over the place, missing badly. Bow is not very fast, but she creeps up on Lava Piranha, about to make her slap, when Lava Piranha shoots one right at her. It appears that the fireball hits her at the same moment she slaps him.
Crazy Packers Fan: Another replay situation! Turn that TV monitor on again, Larry.
From the replay, it can be seen that Lava Piranha's fireball barely hits Bow before she slaps him.
Crazy Packers Fan: Lava Piranha is the winner!
Bow: I don't think so!
Lava Piranha: I win after all!
Roy: I guess you did think of a fair battle after all.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now that the first
round of the Paper Mario bracket is over, we will move on to the
"Classic" Wild Cards bracket after this word from one of our sponsors.
Roy: Having trouble with your neighbor?
Not getting along with that Goomba down the street? No problem!
Just call up Roy's Boys today! Roy's Boys are #2 when it comes to taking care of those annoying idiots that
you can't stand to be around. My Boom Booms will accomplish any task, no matter what the size of this
character is. Prices start at 100 coins an hour. Call today at 1-800-ROY-BOYS today!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now let's move on
to the "Classic" Wild Cards bracket, with our first match being #1
Donkey Kong vs. #16 Maple!
Donkey Kong: DK will crush the competition!
Larry: I'll admit it myself. I think Donkey Kong is going to blow away Maple!
Maple: That won't happen!
Crazy Packers Fan: I hope it's not too ugly.
Roy: The uglier, the better! I can't wait for DK to win!
Crazy Packers Fan: We're going to have a one-hole golf tournament between you two. We've set up a golf hole right here in Waluigi Stadium, complete with bunkers, water, and other golf elements. Sorry, no Chain Chomps and pipes. we don't have that big of a budget. Hey, where's Roy going?
Larry: He said he had some business to take care of. I wonder what that means.
Crazy Packers Fan: I have a bad feeling
about what that means, but we have to go ahead with the
competition anyway. DK, you're the higher seed. Do you want to go first or second?
Donkey Kong: Second!
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, Maple, you go first.
Maple starts her swing. In the middle of it, a loud buzzer goes off, causing Maple's shot to go horrible. It ends up landing in a bunker.
Maple: In golf, we don't allow such stuff to go on!
Crazy Packers Fan: This is Mario Madness 2, not the Toadstool Tour. You'll have to live with that. Go ahead, DK.
Donkey Kong hits a long drive, right down the middle of the fairway, in perfect shape.
Crazy Packers Fan: Since you're farther away, Maple, you go first.
Maple shoots out of the bunker, getting it on to the fairway, but still behind DK's ball.
Crazy Packers Fan: You'll have to go again.
This time, Maple is about to shoot when it starts to rain. Actually, it's not really raining, but some overhead machine is blasting water down on the one-hole "course".
Maple: What is this?
Crazy Packers Fan: You have to play
through rain in Mario Golf, so this should come as no surprise to you.
Maple's shot misses the green, instead landing in a bunker next to the green.
Maple: Stupid rain!
The "rain" suddenly stops.
Donkey Kong's next shot goes right on to the green.
Maple: I think your pal Roy is fixing this match.
Larry: You really think so?
Maple: Yes, and if you don't want him doing this to Bombette-
Crazy Packers Fan: Alright, alright,
enough about Bombette! No one make any shots until I get Roy under
Crazy Packers Fan whispers something to Mario, who puts on a Wing Cap. He flies up to meet Roy. Everyone waits for a few minutes, but nothing happens.
Crazy Packers Fan: I don't know. We'll just have to continue the match.
Maple shoots a perfect shot from the bunker, making it right in the hole for a 4.
Donkey Kong: Not possible! Not possible!
Crazy Packers Fan: If you make this putt, you win.
As Donkey Kong is about to putt, the machine starts pouring down water.
Larry: Roy's at it again, I guess.
Actually, Mario is fireballing Roy, who has accidentally hit the button to turn on the "rain" on his machine.
Donkey Kong: Stop rain! Stop rain!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's too bad. Just go!
Donkey Kong's putt goes terribly short.
Crazy Packers Fan: Your next shot will
determine whether we'll be playing this hole again or if you are
eliminated, as a #1 seed, no less.
Donkey Kong: DK will not be eliminated! DK will make putt!
Donkey Kong's putt goes toward the hole.
Donkey Kong: Tie game!
However, the ball spins around the hole and does not go in.
Crazy Packers Fan: Maple wins! Donkey Kong is eliminated!
Roy's machine lands.
Crazy Packers Fan: Getting beat up by Mario again, Roy?
Roy: Quiet! Who won?
Crazy Packers Fan: Maple!
Roy: NO! NO!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: What's the matter?
Roy: I bet Boom Boom my salary for the Koopa Hockey League that Donkey Kong would win! Now I lose! Hey, what are you laughing about?
Crazy Packers Fan: Sorry.
Maple: It serves him right.
Crazy Packers Fan: After that amazing upset, it's time for #8 Tap Tap the Red Nose vs. #9 Smithy!
Larry: How could anyone beat Smithy?
Roy: I don't know. How could anyone beat Donkey Kong, even with me helping him out?
Crazy Packers Fan: This battle will
involve Tap Tap and Smithy both having to avoid Yoshi Eggs being
thrown at them while racing to that finish line. Be careful of the Munchers along the way, as well.
Tap Tap: Let's go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The Yoshi Eggs do not hurt Smithy, but he is much slower than Tap Tap. However, Tap Tap gets slowed down by the Yoshi Eggs.
Tap Tap: Who's throwing those?
Mario: It's-a me!
Tap Tap: Why him?
Crazy Packers Fan: What, you think I could have hired Yoshi? He demands a high appearance fee.
Several Munchers are in Smithy's way, slowing him down and giving Tap Tap a slight lead.
Smithy: Stupid Munchers! I shall destroy them!
While Smithy stupidly wastes his time destroying the Munchers, Tap Tap increases his lead.
Roy: Don't worry, Smithy will come back.
However, Tap Tap holds his lead the rest of the way, winning the race.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tap Tap wins, partially thanks to Roy jinxing Smithy!
Roy: Don't rub it in!
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's move on to the match between #4 King Bob-omb and #13 Geno!
Larry: Two Super Mario RPG characters couldn't lose in a row.
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll see about that.
Geno will have one minute to light up King Bob-omb's fuse, by
shooting fireballs out of this machine. King Bob-omb must stay inside this circle.
King Bob-omb: Is this the circle of fun?
Crazy Packers Fan: Not this circle. Anyway, go!
Geno starts firing fireballs, but he aims too high on his first few attempts. Then he fires too low on his next few attempts. King Bob-omb is not really moving that much, just watching the fireballs miss.
Crazy Packers Fan: 30 seconds to go!
Geno finally gets the aim right and gets a fireball to light King Bob-omb's fuse.
Crazy Packers Fan: Geno wins!
Larry: King Bob-omb is probably in Desert Land by now. He really blasted off.
Crazy Packers Fan: King Bob-omb is upset
by #13 seed Geno, and we'll see if another upset occurs in our
match between #5 Game Guy and #12 Mallow.
Game Guy: I hope this game is good for me.
Crazy Packers Fan: Although Mario Party 5 ruined Ice Hockey, we will try to get it right here in this match, as Game Guy and Mallow will play against each other, with Shy Guy goalies helping them out. This is on a miniature rink, close to the size of the one in Mario Party 5.
Roy: You never waste an opportunity to insult a game.
Crazy Packers Fan: Only if it deserves to be insulted. Anyway, go!
Game Guy wins Larry's face-off. He then skates quickly toward Mallow's goal. However:
Mallow: You forgot the puck!
Mallow steals the puck, heading toward
Game Guy's goal. His shot misses the net altogether, however.
Game Guy gets the puck and brings it back toward Mallow's goal.
Game Guy: I can shoot a lot better than you!
Game Guy's shot does go towards the
net, but it is stopped by the Shy Guy goalie, who passes the puck to
Mallow, who heads back down the ice toward Game Guy's net.
Larry: Back and forth, back and forth.
Mallow's shot gets blocked by Game Guy's goalie. The goalie passes it to Game Guy, whose shot makes it past Mallow's goalie. It crosses the line, at least somewhat, before the goalie gets the puck out of there.
Game Guy: I win!
Mallow: I want a replay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Fine, put it on, Larry- and remember the puck must completely cross the line for it to be a goal!
The replay shows the puck crossing the line at least most of the way, but it is too hard to tell whether it totally crosses the line, making for a judgment call.
Crazy Packers Fan: Game Guy wins!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's my call, and I say Game Guy wins, so he does. You're eliminated!
Mallow: No! No!
Mallow runs away crying.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's move on to our next match: #3 Metal Mario vs. #14 Mack!
Mack: What's with the low ranking to us Super Mario RPG characters?
Crazy Packers Fan: Stop worrying about
your seeding and just beat your opponent! Anyway, this match will
be a game of Beach Volleyball, another game Mario Party 5 that did not quite get right.
Roy: Shut up about Mario Party 5 and just explain the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Whoever scores 3 points first wins. Ready, go!
Metal Mario: Where-a's the ball?
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, yeah, the ball. Do we have any volleyballs around here?
Crazy Packers Fan: Any Goombas?
Larry: We have one of those.
Crazy Packers Fan: Good. Here, Metal Mario, serve with this thing!
Metal Mario serves the Goomba, which Mack fails to even touch.
Crazy Packers Fan: A point for Metal Mario! Your serve, Mack!
Mack hits the Goomba, and Metal Mario fails to touch it as well.
Crazy Packers Fan: A point for Mack! By the way, you guys know that you're supposed to hit the Goomba back over, don't you?
Metal Mario: What-a?
Crazy Packers Fan: *shakes head and sighs* Your serve, Metal Mario!
Metal Mario serves, but the Goomba is
headed out of bounds. However, Mack hits it, and it goes right into
Crazy Packers Fan: That would have been
a point for Mack had he not touched that Goomba. Instead, it's a
point for Metal Mario! Your serve, Mack!
Mack serves the Goomba right into the net, winning the match for Metal Mario.
Crazy Packers Fan: Metal Mario wins!
Mack: Wait! What happened to the rule
that in a race to 3, it always has to be tied up 2-2 before that 3rd
and deciding point?
Crazy Packers Fan: It's not my fault you served that Goomba right into the net! Anyway, let's move on to the match between #6 Angry Sun and #11 Nep-enut!
Angry Sun: Why did you leave me out of Mario Madness?
Crazy Packers Fan: I forgot, okay! Make up for it here!
Nep-enut: How are we going to battle?
Crazy Packers Fan: Angry Sun is going
to get three chances to "set" on you, Nep-enut, as he did in Super
Mario Bros. 3. If he "sets" on you twice, he wins, but if not, you win! Understood?
Angry Sun: Sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Angry Sun's first attempt to "set" on Nep-enut is successful, as Nep-enut does not avoid him in time.
Angry Sun: One more, and I win!
Angry Sun's second attempt is unsuccessful, however, as Nep-enut successfully moves himself out of Angry Sun's path.
Angry Sun: He's so big, this would be a joke if I didn't win!
Angry Sun's third attempt goes toward
Nep-enut, who tries to avoid him. He is unable to do, however, as
Angry Sun touches Nep-enut as he goes by.
Crazy Packers Fan: Angry Sun wins!
Nep-enut: My size was an unfair disadvantage!
Crazy Packers Fan: Would you players
stop crying foul? The decisions are final! Now let's move on to the
match between #2 Morton Koopa Jr. and #15 Croco!
Morton: Why did you leave me out of Mario Madness?
Crazy Packers Fan: Just like with Angry Sun, I forgot, but you can make up for it here!
Croco: Why are all the Super Mario RPG-
Crazy Packers Fan: The seeding is my choice! Now, here's the battle: it will be a wrestling match!
Croco: Oh no!
Crazy Packers Fan: Whoever pins the other for three seconds first wins! Now get into that ring over there!
The players walk over to the ring.
Larry: How do you manage to fit all of this into this stadium?
Crazy Packers Fan: I don't know, but we did, so I'm happy about it. Anyway, as for the match, go!
Morton runs right at Croco, who sidesteps him.
Morton goes crashing into the ropes, looking incredibly stupid in the process. Croco, however, does not take advantage of this, and Morton is able to tackle Croco and pin him.
Crazy Packers Fan: One, two, three! Morton wins!
Morton walks away celebrating, while Croco is still upset about his low seeding.
Crazy Packers Fan: It is time for our final match of this week, between #7 Plum and #10 Koopa T. Quick!
Larry: I thought Maple had no chance, but she won, so maybe Plum has a chance.
Crazy Packers Fan: You will race around this track in a simple running match.
Plum: But he's supposed to be fast!
Crazy Packers Fan: Mario was able to beat him, so maybe you could win. On your mark, get set, go!
Plum is smaller, so she is surprisingly fast. She takes an early lead. Koopa T. Quick comes back, however, passing Plum and eventually leaving her in the dust. He crosses the finish line for an easy win.
Crazy Packers Fan: Koopa T. Quick is
the winner! And with that, we are finished with the first round of
Mario Madness 2. Let's look at the second-round matchups for these two brackets, with the percentages
of votes received in parantheses next to the characters' names. Keep in mind that in case of a tie, I get to choose the winner.
#1 Tubba Blubba (91%) vs. #8 Gourmet Guy (73%)
#4 Kooper (64%) vs. #12 Goombario (67%)
#3 Bombette (54%) vs. #6 General Guy (55%)
#2 Tutankoopa (67%) vs. #7 Lava Piranha (60%)
"Classic" Wild Cards
#8 Tap Tap (64%) vs. #16 Maple (55%)
#5 Game Guy (50%) vs. #13 Geno (64%)
#3 Metal Mario (64%) vs. #6 Angry Sun (64%)
#2 Morton Koopa Jr. (67%) vs. #10 Koopa T. Quick (100%)
Crazy Packers Fan: Again, there were some very close matches, so your votes do mean a lot. Until next time, I'm Crazy Packers Fan, saying good-bye for Larry and the much poorer Roy!
Roy: Maple. Maple. Maple! *crying*