Round 3 (16)
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome back here to Mario Madness 2, where only 16 characters remain. Let's go over today's matchups:
#8 Bob-omb vs. #12 Shy Guy
#2 Snifit vs. #6 Wart
"New" Wild Cards
#1 King Boo vs. #13 Cackletta
#2 Petey Piranha vs. #14 Professor E. Gadd
#1 Tubba Blubba vs. #4 Kooper
#2 Tutankoopa vs. #3 Bombette
"Classic" Wild Cards
#5 Game Guy vs. #8 Tap Tap
#2 Morton Koopa Jr. vs. #3 Metal Mario
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll start with the Sub-con bracket. Our first match is #8 Bob-omb vs. #12 Shy Guy. For these two Sub-con matches, the players will be forced to do something of considerably more difficulty than in the past. Very much like in the first Mario Madness, our 3rd round matches will consist of races through entire levels. This time, the levels will be from Super Mario Bros. 2!
Larry: What now?
Roy: I made a proposition bet with Boom
Boom for 50 coins that the levels will be from Super Mario Bros.
2, and I won! You can call me a born winner! Ha ha ha!
Larry: Your sudden addiction to gambling isn't going to pay off, you know.
Roy: It will, trust me. What goes around comes around, and Boom Boom's big win will come around to me! Ha ha ha!
Crazy Packers Fan: First we need to get our expert analysis from Roy and Larry. Who will win these Sub-con matches?
Roy: I'm feeling lucky, so I'm going with the low seeds in this bracket. #12 Shy Guy and #6 Wart will win!
Larry: #8 Bob-omb is my pick here, as he'll be able to blast his way to a victory. #2 Snifit is faster, and those bullets have to help him here.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then let's get the
match started. The match will be held in Level 1-1, and it will be an
all-out race to the mask. There will be no Birdo at the end, because in that case, the one who beat Birdo
would be at a disadvantage. Is this understood?
Shy Guy: Sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The players enter a door to start the
competition. They find themselves at the beginning of 1-1. After
making it through the first room, they start going through the outside portion of the level. Bob-omb is
faster, and he takes an early lead on Shy Guy. However, avoiding Sub-con minions is a problem, as these minions get in the way of the players, forgetting the fact that the players are minions too.
Shy Guy: I always knew these Tweeters were stupid.
Thanks to the fact that the players do not like vegetables themselves, they refuse to pick any up to toss at the other minions. Bob-omb does not want to blow up other minions because he would waste a lot of time floating back to the ground. This means that both players are slowed down quite a bit. By the time the players are at the long log bridge over the first big waterfall, Shy Guy has caught up to Bob-omb.
Shy Guy: I'm surprised there are no traps set for us.
Bob-omb: Don't ever say something like that.
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Roy: What do you mean you didn't set any traps?
Crazy Packers Fan: Why do there have to be traps?
Larry: You have to make them work for their win.
Crazy Packers Fan: It'll be hard enough for them, trust me.
Back in Sub-con...
Bob-omb: These Shy Guys are really annoying. Especially including this one here.
Shy Guy: Do you Bob-ombs know how to jump?
Bob-ombs can jump, including this one in the competition. Bob-omb retakes the lead, running to the door before Shy Guy. He gets past the Ninji there easily before realizing that he can't climb vines.
Bob-omb: Now what am I supposed to do?
Shy Guy comes in, climbing the vine,
leaving Bob-omb in the dust. Bob-omb, however, runs around the vine, getting
tangled in it. Then, he jumps. He ends up swinging up, landing on the ground
above. However, he
still finds himself behind Shy Guy, who has run towards the shortcut.
Shy Guy: This seems really hard, trying to time this bomb throw.
As Shy Guy tries to time his bomb throw, Bob-omb comes running over, jumping down the ladder, blowing up right where the breakable wall is. However, while he comes floating down, Shy Guy has tossed his bomb away, jumping down the ladder and through the door. He takes an insurmountable lead, eventually making it to the mask and jumping into it, winning the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Shy Guy wins!
Roy: That's 100 coins for me!
Larry: Your luck has to run out soon enough.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now #2 Snifit and #6 Wart will race through Level 1-2. Are you ready?
Wart: Of course!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both players enter a door to begin the
level. Snifit easily jumps up, tosses away Pidgit, and gets on the
magic carpet. Wart is unable to get on this carpet due to his size. However, another Pidgit comes to Wart.
Wart tosses away this Pidgit and gets on the carpet. He is far behind Snifit, however.
Wart: I don't like these Beezos.
The Beezos come close many times to
hitting Wart. Wart stays on his carpet and keeps going, but remains far
behind Snifit, who has jumped into the second jar to get a key. Wart finally
lands after the magic carpet
Wart: I'll wait for that egghead to
open the door, and then I'll come in right behind him. This shouldn't be
that hard after all!
Snifit gets the key and runs to the
door, opening it up for himself and Wart. Wart then tries to take down
Snifit by tackling him, but Snifit is too fast for him. But while Snifit blows up the wall, Wart catches up and follows him up the ladder. Snifit still holds a slight lead as he exits the underground area.
Wart: I've got to figure out some way of stopping him.
As Wart exits the underground area,
he thinks quickly. Then he figures out one chance at possibly stopping
Wart: I'll toss one of these Shy Guys at him!
Wart picks up a Shy Guy and tosses it at the speeding Snifit. His shot is right on target, as it knocks Snifit over. Wart is able to catch up to Snifit, beating him to the door. Then Wart makes it to the mask before Snifit does!
Crazy Packers Fan: Wart is the winner!
Roy: Another 100 coins for me!
Larry: His luck has got to run out soon enough.
Crazy Packers Fan: Shy Guy and Wart are the final two players remaining in the Sub-con bracket! We now move on to the "New" Wild Cards bracket.
Roy: Aren't we first going to our sponsor?
Crazy Packers Fan: I was hoping we wouldn't have to.
Larry: You don't want to be paying the players out of your own pocket, do you?
Crazy Packers Fan: *sigh* Time for a commercial break.
Magikoopa: Bowser is too mean. Yoshi
is too nice. This makes me the obvious choice for the president of Plit.
You don't want to have to deal with Bowser and his all-out attacks on the
Mushroom Kingdom, which costs the citizens of Plit millions of coins in
taxes as well as endangering their lives in attacks from Mario.
But if Yoshi is elected, you'll have to deal with his eating most of your food and wasting your tax coins on
his resort island which you'll never visit. Vote for me, Magikoopa, as I will make your tax coins worthwhile!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now it's time for
the "New" Wild Cards. Our first match is between a #1 seed and a #13
seed, which ties for the biggest disparity in seeds this round, as #1 King Boo takes on #13 Cackletta!
King Boo: I'm here, everyone!
Larry: Are they cheering or jeering him?
Roy: I don't know.
Crazy Packers Fan: Who will win?
Roy: #1 King Boo will continue his run.
Larry: Although #13 Cackletta has recent
experience in Mario & Luigi, King Boo is not being stopped quite
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, this time we're going to Level 4-1, where it will be colder than ever! Are you two ready?
King Boo: Yes!
Cackletta: I guess.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both players enter a door and end up at the level. King Boo floats overhead slowly, but the fact that Cackletta has to dodge the Flurries on the ice platforms makes her journey take longer than King Boo's leisurely journey overhead. King Boo has a big lead by the time he reaches the rocket.
King Boo: I've heard about this rocket coming out from a patch of grass. That's impossible!
King Boo pulls the grass and enters a rocket.
King Boo: Okay, so it's not.
Cackletta is way behind, having to dodge
the tons of Flurries and several Trouters. By the time she finally
reaches the rocket, King Boo has floated halfway through the upper level.
Cackletta: I have no idea how far behind I am, but I hope I'm not that far back.
Cackletta pulls a blade of grass, which contains an extra rocket put in for this race only. When she lands up above, she is horrified to see a large white blob way out in the distance.
Cackletta: I need some sort of miracle now!
Cackletta is grabbing Shy Guys and tossing them as far as she can. She hops on the back of a few Autobombs, getting them to carry her faster. She then grabs one Shy Guy and holds on to it, hoping to get a good shot at King Boo. The race looks hopelessly lost for her, however.
King Boo: There's no way she's catching up! The mask is not far from here. I think I'll take a nap.
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Roy: NO!!! NO!!! Don't take a nap! I've got 200 coins on you, King Boo! Don't be a moron!
Larry: Relax, he's no moron.
Back in level 4-1, King Boo is laughing as he continues toward the mask.
King Boo: I hoped that scared some of those viewers out there. I've got this race in the bag!
The mask opens up as wide as it possibly can, and King Boo tries to enter it.
King Boo: I can't fit! This isn't fair! Now I'll lose just because I'm too big!
Cackletta is slowly catching up, hoping
to toss the Shy Guy at King Boo the same way Wart tossed one at
King Boo: Open up, mask!
King Boo turns around and tries to enter the mask backwards. This time, the mask starts to swallow his tail, and he slowly squeezes his way through the mask.
Crazy Packers Fan: King Boo wins!
Roy: 200 more coins!
Larry: *sigh* I may have been right, but I'm getting sick of Roy winning.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now let's see the
other match with a tie for the biggest disparity in seeds. #2 Petey
Piranha, who knocked off highly acclaimed Fawful last round, and #14 Professor E. Gadd, the annoying
professor who created such difficult to control items as Luigi's vacuum and FLUDD!
Professor E. Gadd: That's me!
Crazy Packers Fan: Who will win this match? Hey, where's Roy?
Larry: He left to go get lunch.
Crazy Packers Fan: Do you know who he bet on?
Larry: No, I don't.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, at least tell me who you think will win.
Larry: That's easy. #2 Petey Piranha
beat the highly underrated and extremely popular and powerful #10
Fawful, which seemed like a huge upset. He will now have an easy win over this hopeless professor who will try to kill off Sub-con minions with his flashlight.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thank you, Larry. This match will take place in Level 4-2, another icy level. Are you two players ready?
Petey Piranha: Of course!
Professor E. Gadd: That's a useless question! You'll start the match whether we say yes or no!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yeah, I know. Anyway, go!
The two players enter a door to begin
the match. Petey Piranha is much slower than Professor E. Gadd, as
easily seen from the beginning of the match, when Professor E. Gadd easily runs ahead, climbing up the
vine way before Petey Piranha manages to somehow make it up the vine.
Professor E. Gadd: This will be really easy!
Professor E. Gadd is carrying FLUDD, and he uses it to hover over the Beezos for a while. When it stops, he simply starts it up again. This way, he easily cruises past the Beezos, while Petey Piranha has to continually munch Beezos that fly into his mouth. Petey Piranha is way behind when Professor E. Gadd reaches the door.
Professor E. Gadd: It's time for another nozzle!
Professor E. Gadd uses the rocket nozzle
to take off, as it gives him a big boost past some of the whales.
He is at the ice blocks where a potion is found by the time the lagging Petey Piranha finally reaches the door.
Petey Piranha: How am I supposed to come back? Someone tell me! I'm talking to you, Crazy Packers Fan! Give me a boost!
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Larry: Are you going to help him out?
Crazy Packers Fan: Of course not. This
will be funny, watching him ask for help while just standing there,
letting Professor E. Gadd win the race.
Meanwhile, Professor E. Gadd has made it over several other whales, when he notices that he is out of water.
Professor E. Gadd: That water is too dangerous to try to fill up this FLUDD with. I guess I'll have to go the rest of the way without it.
Professor E. Gadd tosses the FLUDD on
one of the ice platforms as hard as he can, and parts of the FLUDD
crack and break off. Somewhere, he thinks he hears some cheering, but he can't be certain.
Professor E. Gadd: This win is still almost assured.
Petey Piranha, meanwhile, has stopped
begging for help, as he is now lumbering through the level, barely
making it from whale to whale on his jumps. He is struggling mightily, while Professor E. Gadd has taken a rocket to the next part of the level.
Petey Piranha: Maybe this is a good
thing. After all, when others get way behind, they usually make a
However, with Professor E. Gadd cruising on an Autobomb over spikes, that comeback goes from incredibly unlikely to impossible, as he easily makes it past the Porcupos, into the door, and into the mask for the win!
Crazy Packers Fan: Professor E. Gadd wins! And with that, Professor E. Gadd remains the lowest seed in the field, making to the fourth round with only a #14 seed!
Larry: That's an amazing upset, as he just beat someone who beat Fawful last week.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now we will have another commercial break before the top four seeds in the Paper Mario bracket battle for two spots in the fourth round!
Birdo: You've heard about these other presidential candidates that criticize each other, but offer little to you voters. However, I am different from these others. I will put an end to the violence in Grass Land between the Goombas and the Troopas, and I will also stop Bowser from continually harming the Mushroom Kingdom. A Sub-con army will prevent any such invasions from any other armies, as we will bring peace and prosperity to Plit. Those of you Sub-con voters will be happy to know that Sub-con will get the recognition it deserves. Vote for me, Birdo, as president of Plit, for your sake.
Crazy Packers Fan: Of the four brackets,
only the Paper Mario bracket has its top four seeds remaining. In our first
Paper Mario match, we will find out if #1 Tubba Blubba can join fellow
#1 seed King Boo in the
fourth round, as he takes on #4 Kooper.
Tubba Blubba: Where is our match?
Crazy Packers Fan: It is going to be in Level 4-3. Larry, what's your pick?
Larry: I'll go with the higher seed in this case, being #1 Tubba Blubba.
Crazy Packers Fan: Are you two players ready?
Tubba Blubba: Yes.
Kooper: Of course!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both players enter the door and enter
the level. They both climb up the ladder and enter the next door,
making it outside. They find a Birdo shooting eggs at them. Both players jump over the Birdo and wait to be
able to jump on an egg that will carry them across the water.
Kooper: This egg is mine.
Kooper hops on an egg, floating across the long span of water. Tubba Blubba gets ready for the next egg.
Tubba Blubba: This is my egg!
However, when Tubba Blubba jumps on the egg, it cracks apart due to his weight.
Tubba Blubba: Now what?!
Tubba Blubba realizes that he can't
swim across the water. He jumps on another egg, but it cracks as well.
Frustrated, he starts searching around for some sort of other way across. Suddenly, a Robirdo comes
crashing through the wall, rolling over to Tubba Blubba and shooting a giant egg at him. Tubba Blubba
jumps on top of one of the high plateaus, then he jumps on the egg. The egg does not crack, and he is
able to make it across the water, still pretty far behind Kooper.
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Crazy Packers Fan: Where did that Robirdo come from?
Larry: I don't know.
Of course, Roy is inside the Robirdo.
Roy: I just made 200 coins on that upset pick of Professor E. Gadd, and I'm about to make 500 more coins on Tubba Blubba!
Kooper's egg crashed into part of the
ice platform, so he had to get off it. He then jumps and runs over to
the next door, entering the building. Tubba Blubba's egg, however, is floating much higher than Kooper's
egg, as it floats over the ice platform and over the gap between the two buildings. He then gets off the egg, enters the door, then runs and jumps into the mask, winning the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Tubba Blubba wins, though he got awfully lucky, with that Robirdo coming out and all.
Larry: I have a feeling more than luck helped him win that race.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now it's time for the battle between #2 Tutankoopa and #3 Bombette! Larry, what is your pick?
Larry: I pick #3 Bombette, since I have the feeling that she'll get some help.
Roy comes running over to Crazy Packers Fan and Larry.
Crazy Packers Fan: Roy, where have you been?
Roy: Celebrating over my win of 700 more coins over the last two matches!
Crazy Packers Fan: You'd better not
get involved in this match like you famously did in the Panser-Tweeter
Roy: You were the one who cheated in the first place!
Crazy Packers Fan: The featured level will be 6-1. Are you two ready?
Bombette: As always.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then go!
Both players enter a door, starting
the race. Both players run at the same amount of speed, avoiding the
Cobrats and making it to the part of the level with the Pokeys.
Bombette: I never liked those cactuses.
Tutankoopa: It's cacti.
Bombette: Not only are you ugly, but you're also annoying too!
Tutankoopa: I don't have to take insults from a pink bomb!
Bombette: Excuse me, but I look much better than most boring black Bob-ombs.
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Roy: Your precious Bombette is wasting time arguing!
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't worry, Bombette has it under control.
Bombette and Tutankoopa make it past the Pokeys and the Panser, reaching the door and entering the indoor portion of the level.
Bombette: More of those stupid Cobrats!
Tutankoopa: Are you afraid of them?
Bombette: Of course not!
Tutankoopa: I think you are.
Both players run toward the jars, trying
to figure out which jar has the key in it. Tutankoopa chooses the
correct jar, digging down through the jar to find the key. He comes up with the key, with Bombette waiting
for him. They both run towards the door. Tutankoopa opens the door, and both of them push their way
through the door. They jump and run toward the mask, in a dead heat.
Tutankoopa: I didn't know Bob-ombs were so fast!
Bombette: We aren't usually, except when we get mad.
Both players enter the mask at practically the same time.
Back at Waluigi Stadium...
Crazy Packers Fan: We're going to have to use the TV monitor. Turn it on, Larry!
While Larry turns on the TV monitor, Roy whispers to the camera.
Roy: Crazy Packers Fan is going to cheat to give Bombette the win, no matter what the votes say. You just wait and see!
Bombette and Tutankoopa have come out of the mask in Waluigi Stadium, as all other characters have.
Crazy Packers Fan: I've made my decision!
Larry: And the winner is...?
Crazy Packers Fan: Tutankoopa! He made
it into the mask slightly before Bombette! He wins, making the
Paper Mario bracket the only bracket with both of its top seeds remaining!
Roy: What?! You can't possibly vote against Bombette!
Tutankoopa: I... won... Yes!
Bombette: I thought I was your favorite remaining!
Crazy Packers Fan: Tutankoopa won! I can't help that!
Bombette: That's it. Where are the other Bob-ombs? You won't get away with this!
Roy: You just cost me 1,150 coins! I bet all I had won today on this match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Are you going to send Chargin' Chuck after me?
Roy: I guess I can't do that.
Larry: It's time for a commercial break!
Popple: Why vote for me as president
of Plit and not for any of those other candidates? Simple. They're
ancient. Bowser, Yoshi, Magikoopa, and Birdo have been around for a very long time. They're ancient, and they don't know what you really want. You don't want these old characters who care about ancient rivalries
between each other. You want someone new, who knows what you really want. Vote for me, Popple, as
president of Plit!
Crazy Packers Fan: Our final commercial break for this round is over, and we head to the "Classic" Wild Cards bracket. Our first match is between #5 Game Guy and #8 Tap Tap the Red Nose! Who will win?
Roy: #5 Game Guy keeps on winning. He can't be stopped!
Larry: #5 Game Guy will escape this time, though I think he will lose to either opponent in the next round.
Crazy Packers Fan: This will be a race through Level 6-2. Are you two ready?
Game Guy: Yes.
Tap Tap: Absolutely!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both players enter a door to start the
level. Game Guy and Tap Tap make it through the indoor part of the
level quickly. Once they reach the Albatosses, Game Guy is a much faster jumper, as he starts jumping off
the Albatosses's backs quickly, getting on to an Albatoss moving in the direction he is going. Tap Tap,
meanwhile, is pretty far behind Game Guy. He hesitates too much on his jumps, too afraid of making a
mistake, costing himself precious time.
Tap Tap: This is frustrating.
Game Guy continues to cruise through
the level, as the Albatosses are not causing him much trouble. Tap Tap
finally starts to really make some progress, but he is far behind at this
point. He is riding an Albatoss in
the direction he wants to go.
Tap Tap: Hey, Albatoss, would you speed it up?
Albatoss 1: Sure!
The Albatoss starts flying faster, and Tap Tap starts to catch up to Game Guy.
Game Guy: Hey, can you go faster?
Albatoss 2: Sorry.
Game Guy: What?! That other Albatoss is going faster!
Albatoss 2: So what?
Tap Tap is about to catch Game Guy as
they make it to the final platforms before the door. Game Guy enters
the door before Tap Tap, and they start a mad dash toward the mask.
Tap Tap: I'm going to catch up and win after all!
Game Guy: I don't think so!
Both players get really close to the mask. Game Guy enters the mask before Tap Tap, winning the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Game Guy wins!
Roy: Too bad I didn't bet on that match, but I'm not risking any more money this round.
Crazy Packers Fan: That brings us to
our final match of this round, between #2 Morton Koopa Jr. and #3
Metal Mario! Who will win it, Roy and Larry?
Roy: I can't go against my brother Morton, no matter how annoying he gets.
Larry: I agree. Morton is my pick.
Crazy Packers Fan: This final match will be a race through Level 7-1. Are you two ready?
Metal Mario: Of course!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The two players enter the door to start the level. They both climb the ladder to the next part of the level. They race toward the right, making it past the Bob-ombs and Ninjis, getting to the hut. Then they jump on top of Albatosses and start on their way toward the left.
Metal Mario: This-a is not too difficult.
Morton: Never say that!
The players do not face any extra enemies,
however. They make it to the ladder, where they then find two
rockets. They both take off at nearly the exact same time. They land in the next part of the level, which they make it through at about the same time.
Metal Mario: I thought you were slower than this!
Morton: I thought the same about you!
In reality, both are going quite slow.
They are now at the part of the level with Sparks. Metal Mario makes a
stack of Mushroom Blocks, which they both climb and jump up higher in the level. Avoiding the Sparks, they both continue to make it up the level, jumping up off another stack of Mushroom Blocks, this time built by Morton. Both players climb the ladders to the door, entering the room at practically the same time.
Morton: This is going to be close.
Both players race to the mask. Metal Mario, however, barely beats out Morton, winning the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Metal Mario wins!
And with that, we have the final eight players in our tournament, who
will all be in the fourth round of Mario Madness 2!
Roy: It ought to be a very interesting and exciting fourth round.
Larry: I hope that doesn't mean you're going to cheat for someone.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's now time to see what the matches of the fourth round will be, with percentages of votes received in parentheses. Remember that, as always, I break all ties.
#6 Wart (60%) vs. #12 Shy Guy (70%)
"New" Wild Cards Championship
#1 King Boo (57%) vs. #14 Professor E. Gadd (64%)
Paper Mario Championship
#1 Tubba Blubba (50%) vs. #2 Tutankoopa (78%)
"Classic" Wild Cards Championship
#3 Metal Mario (62%) vs. #5 Game Guy (67%)
Crazy Packers Fan: Your votes will decide
the four bracket champions, regardless of what Roy says. Until
next time, this is Crazy Packers Fan saying so long for Roy and Larry!