Round 4 (8)
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome back to the
wild and wacky world of Mario Madness 2, where we have only 8 players remaining.
Today here at Waluigi Stadium, we will decide all four bracket champions,
all of which will
receive a trophy for their corresponding
bracket and are guaranteed at least 10,000 coins. Now let's see who's up
against who once more:
Sub-con Championship
#6 Wart vs. #12 Shy Guy
"New" Wild Cards Championship
#1 King Boo vs. #14 Professor E. Gadd
Paper Mario Championship
#1 Tubba Blubba vs. #2 Tutankoopa
"Classic" Wild Cards Championship
#3 Metal Mario vs. #5 Game Guy
Crazy Packers Fan: With me as always
are amateur gambler Roy Koopa and the guy who has the awesome job of turning
on the TV monitor every once in a while, Larry Koopa. Roy, you were on
a hot streak last time,
before you threw it all away betting
on Bombette. Will that affect who you pick to win this time?
Roy: Well, by seeing that you chose
#2 Tutankoopa over your precious #3 Bombette in a replay, I guess he's
now your new favorite, so I think you'll
cheat for him to win.
Crazy Packers Fan: What is with you
guys thinking I'm going to cheat for someone to win? Larry, give me a
real pick here.
Larry: I pick #14 Professor E. Gadd over #1 King Boo in a stunning upset. The Professor's on fire right now, and I don't think anyone's going to put it out yet. He's got all kinds of crazy inventions that actually work, so you can put your money on him.
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't say that in front of Roy. He'll bet away his 2006-07 Koopa Hockey League salary on him.
Roy: Too late.
Crazy Packers Fan: There are two other matches as well, and you guys must pick those as well. Roy?
Roy: Fine, I'll pick #12 Shy Guy. Are you happy?
Crazy Packers Fan: Why #12 Shy Guy?
Roy: Because #6 Uncle Wart is annoying, that's why.
Crazy Packers Fan: And you, Larry?
Larry: #5 Game Guy continues to look unbeatable. He's my pick for the "Classic" Wild Cards championship.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's start out with
the Sub-con Championship between #6 Wart and #12 Shy Guy! First,
the players will tell you why they
will win.
Wart: I'm the big boss of Sub-con, that's
why! You'd better believe I'm going to win this match. and more!
Start engraving the trophy now. Bowser
couldn't win, but I sure can, and I will.
Shy Guy: I don't talk much, so many underestimate me. I can take on any challenge that is given to me.
Crazy Packers Fan: This match will be
a game of soccer, with you two playing against each other. There are no
goalies, unless one of you decides to stand in the area near your own net
marked by the white lines.
Only when you are standing in there
may you touch the ball with your arms or hands. Otherwise, you must play
soccer the normal way: no arms or hands may touch the ball. The first to
four goals is our champion. It
sounds simple, but I'm sure you guys
will find a way to make it hard on yourselves. Are you ready?
Wart: Yes.
Shy Guy: Sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Crazy Packers Fan throws a ball onto
the soccer field. It is painted to look like Mario's head, giving the
players more reason to kick it as hard
as they can. Neither player is incredibly good at soccer, however, so their
kicks do not come close to making it in either goal. At one point, with
the ball at about the center of the field, Wart picks up the ball
and throws it into Shy Guy's net.
Wart: Gooooooooooooaaaallllll!!! I'm up 1-0! You stink, Shy Guy!
Shy Guy rolls his eyes, seeing that Crazy Packers Fan, Roy, and Larry are laughing and that no goal has been added to Wart's score on the scoreboard.
Crazy Packers Fan: You know that's no
goal, Wart, and because you touched that ball with your hands on
purpose, it's a penalty shot for Shy
Guy, with you as the goalie.
Wart: Uh... what?
The perplexed Wart, who broke the rules
out of imbecility, now walks over to his own goal, as Shy Guy
prepares to kick his penalty shot.
Crazy Packers Fan: Fire at will, Shy Guy!
Shy Guy kicks the ball past Wart for his first goal.
Crazy Packers Fan: That's a real goal! 1-0, Shy Guy!
Wart takes the ball out from his own net, kicking it around Shy Guy. The ball does not nearly enter the net, however, so Shy Guy is able to kick it away.
Wart: This is harder than I thought!
After about 15 minutes of play, both players have not yet scored any other goals, and both are getting tired, especially Wart, who is on the verge of collapse.
Wart: Must... not... collapse.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's only 15 minutes in, and you guys are tired out already? Come on, you two made it this far, you should be the best Sub-con has to offer!
Wart decides to lie down on the field,
as he is too tired out already. Shy Guy has a clear shot at the
goal. Of course, his kick is way off
to the right, making it all the way to Roy.
Roy: These players stink!
Larry: Is this a weakness with Sub-con in general, or just with these two characters?
Crazy Packers Fan: I think it's just these two.
Roy: You say that because you wanted Panser to be here! Well, guess what? He's not! Ha ha ha!
Panser: (whispering to Crazy Packers Fan) Should I fireball him now or later?
Crazy Packers Fan: (whispering back to Panser) Wait a couple of matches.
Shy Guy eventually brings the ball back, shooting it in Wart's net for a 2-0 lead.
Shy Guy: Victory is mine!
Wart: I... will... not... surrender.
Wart gets up, stumbling as he attempts to kick the ball. At one point, he does get control of the ball, but he kicks it into his own net for a 3-0 Shy Guy lead.
Shy Guy: Thanks, pal!
Wart: Oops.
At this point, many fans are booing,
and some are even throwing stuff on the field. Wart is even eating some
of the pretzel pieces that have landed
on the field.
Shy Guy: I'm one goal away from being champion of the Sub-con bracket, but it doesn't seem like it should be so easy.
Wart, by eating the pretzel pieces, has actually gained enough strength to start playing normally again. He kicks the ball downfield, eventually maneuvering around Shy Guy to score his first goal, cutting his deficit to 3-1.
Wart: Only three more goals to go!
Shy Guy's fatigue starts to set in big time at this point, while Wart continues to grow stronger and stronger. It is seen clearly five minutes later, when Wart is the one speeding around Shy Guy to score another goal and make the score 3-2, Shy Guy still barely clinging on to his lead.
Shy Guy: I knew I shouldn't have said it felt too easy! I knew it! I knew it!
Shy Guy kicks the ball far down the field, but Wart easily stops it from entering his net. Wart starts coming down the field towards Shy Guy and Shy Guy's net with the ball. He then kicks a very powerful kick. Shy Guy jumps, hoping to get in the way of the ball.
WHACK!!!
The ball hits Shy Guy in the head, and
it goes flying back at Wart, who ducks in fright. Because Wart was
afraid and ducked, the ball ends up
sailing past him into the net, sealing the Sub-con Championship for Shy
Guy.
Crazy Packers Fan: Shy Guy wins, 4-2! Shy Guy is the Sub-con Bracket Champion!
The crowd cheers as confetti flies and
fireworks go off. Shy Guy is given his trophy as he celebrates his
victory. The defeated Wart sadly walks
away.
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll be back after this word from one of our sponsors.
Mario: Buy Mario Golf: Advance Tour today!
Crazy Packers Fan: We're back!
Roy: That's the whole commercial?!
Crazy Packers Fan: That's all we're
going to show since Nintendo's being cheap and only paying us 67 coins
net. Poor payment, poor commercial quality. Now let's move on to the "New"
Wild Cards Championship
between #1 King Boo and #14 Professor
E. Gadd!
King Boo: I scare off the competition. It has happened in the past, and it will continue to happen. No one will top me in this tournament.
Professor E. Gadd: My inventions are
unstoppable! I pay a large sum of money to have them shown on the
air, and because of that, Crazy Packers
Fan lets me use them in the competition! With the Poltergust 4000
or FLUDD around, victory is mine!
Crazy Packers Fan: This is quite a mismatch
in seeding: one of two #1 seeds remaining goes up against
the lowest seed remaining, a #14 seed.
However, we've seen two #1's go down to #16's, so you've got to
figure anything can happen here. Anyway,
in Luigi's Mansion, Luigi battled King Boo with an invention from
Professor E. Gadd. Here in Mario Madness
2, Professor E. Gadd is about to follow in Luigi's footsteps, using
his Poltergust 4000 to try to eliminate King Boo's 500 HP. At the same
time, Professor E. Gadd has 100 HP to work with. Why does the Professor
have less? No, it's not because I like King Boo more; it's because
the Professor gets an outside item
to use and King Boo is not allowed in his Bowser Suit. Do you two players
understand?
King Boo: How do we know our HP?
Professor E. Gadd: From the scoreboard, stupid!
Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, no. Just look at the floating numbers next to you.
King Boo: Floating num- hey, you're right!
King Boo sees floating numbers next to him which say "500". Professor E. Gadd has a "100" next to him.
Crazy Packers Fan: Who says the video game characters can't see things the way we see them? Anyway, now are you ready?
King Boo: Of course!
Professor E. Gadd: Let's go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Professor E. Gadd starts firing away
with his vacuum. King Boo realizes that it is not so easy to attack the
Professor without his Bowser Suit,
but he figures out that merely bumping into the Professor wipes away 7
HP at a time. Three minutes into the battle, King Boo is down to 401 HP,
while the Professor still has 86 HP.
Professor E. Gadd: At this rate, I will defeat King Boo in another 12 minutes or so, while it will take King Boo 18 ½ mintues or so to defeat me. This is a piece of cake!
King Boo is getting frustrated, as not only is the Professor getting on his nerves with his math predictions, but the vacuum is really taking its toll on him. He is starting to have a harder time coming over to bump the Professor, as the vacuum is slowing him down too much. This causes the match to start going downhill in a big hurry. Within another three minutes, King Boo is down to 267 HP, but the Professor still has 79 HP.
Professor E. Gadd: It will now only take me-
King Boo: Shut up!
The Professor shuts up and continues
to vacuum King Boo, who is getting really weak. After King Boo's HP
dips below 250 HP, he is only trying
to run away from the vacuum, not even thinking about moving towards it
when trying to bump the Professor.
Roy: The Professor is having his way with this match.
Larry: It's pretty much over.
King Boo: Yes!
Professor E. Gadd: What?
King Boo: Those two just jinxed you! I'm going to win! I'm going to win!
However, while King Boo gloats, he is
losing more and more HP. At the ten-minute mark, King Boo is only at
187 HP, while Professor E. Gadd still
has 79 HP.
King Boo: The jinx isn't working, so I've got to make something happen.
King Boo tries desperately to bump the Professor, no matter how much HP he is losing trying to bump him. He gets a couple of bumps in, but soon enough, King Boo's HP reaches the same number as the Professor's: 65.
Professor E. Gadd: This is easy!
King Boo: Why does he get to use a vacuum and I- wait a minute!
King Boo reaches for Professor E. Gadd's
vacuum. He is able to get the end of it and direct it towards the
Professor. It is at such a high intensity
level that it not only takes out all of the Professor's HP, but also vacuums
the Professor into the vacuum itself.
King Boo: I win!
Crazy Packers Fan: King Boo wins the "New" Wild Cards Championship!
While King Boo celebrates and receives his trophy, Luigi gets the Professor out of his vacuum.
Professor E. Gadd: I never thought I would get vacuumed into my own vacuum!
Crazy Packers Fan: We have another commercial break before our next match.
Koopa Troopa: Are you a Troopa fan?
Goomba: Or are you a Goomba fan?
Koopa Troopa: It doesn't matter. Buy
tickets to the Mario Baseball League, where you can see all of your
favorite players play. Of course, Goombas
can't play baseball that well.
Goomba: Then why are we ahead of you Troopas in our division?
Koopa Troopa: That's only temporary.
Goomba: That's what you think.
Koopa Troopa: That's what I said; what about it?
Goomba: Do you want to start a fight?
Koopa Troopa: If that means what I think it does-
The commercial ends with the Koopa Troopa and Goomba wrestling and fighting each other.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's always nice to have some friendly commercials on every once in a while. Now let's move on to the Paper Mario Championship between #1 Tubba Blubba and #2 Tutankoopa!
Tubba Blubba: I am the invincible Tubba Blubba! The fact of the matter is, I am invincible, and that means I can't be beaten! That means that I will win every match, and I will be the Mario Madness 2 champion!
Tutankoopa: I beat Bombette, Crazy Packers Fan's favorite. What more do I have to do to show you that I can beat anyone?
Crazy Packers Fan: This is the only
#1-vs.-#2 matchup we have here in this fourth round of Mario Madness 2.
You two will battle the same way Roy and Chargin' Chuck did in the first
Mario Madness: in a one-on-one
football game.
Tutankoopa: All right, this sounds good. What's the time limit?
Crazy Packers Fan: It's a one-minute game. I'll flip a coin. Call it, Tubba Blubba!
Tubba Blubba: Heads!
The coin lands on its edge.
Crazy Packers Fan: That's typical. I'll flip it again. Tutankoopa, it's your call this time.
Tutankoopa: Heads!
The coin lands on tails.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's your choice, Tubba Blubba. Do you want to kick, receive, or choose a goal to defend?
Tubba Blubba: I'll receive.
Crazy Packers Fan: Which goal will you defend, Tutankoopa?
Tutankoopa: The one closer to Roy and Larry.
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, here's the football. Kick off when ready.
After Tutankoopa puts the ball on the tee...
Tutankoopa: Here we go!
Tutankoopa's kick goes right to Tubba Blubba, who returns it halfway down the field before getting tackled by Tutankoopa.
Tubba Blubba: Now we'll see who's stronger.
Tubba Blubba starts the play by picking
the ball up off the ground, then running right at Tutankoopa.
Tutankoopa is unable to stop the charging
Tubba Blubba from running right through him on the way to a
touchdown.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tubba Blubba leads, 6-0! He may now kick for one point or run or pass for two points.
Tubba Blubba decides to run right at
Tutankoopa, scoring two points in the very same fashion as before.
45 seconds remain (as this two-point
play takes off no time).
Tutankoopa: That's okay. I can beat you anyway!
Tubba Blubba kicks off to Tutankoopa, who returns the ball to about midfield before getting tackled by Tubba Blubba. Tutankoopa starts the next play, backing up at first, before making a key decision.
Tutankoopa: Watch this pass!
Tutankoopa tosses the ball up high,
running after it. Tubba Blubba runs after it as well. The two collide trying
to catch the ball, but the ball bounces off Tubba Blubba's head. Tubba
Blubba ends up catching it,
without being touched by Tutankoopa.
He slowly walks down the field for an easy touchdown, while Tutankoopa
scratches his head.
Crazy Packers Fan: 14-0, Tubba Blubba, with 20 seconds to play!
Tubba Blubba kicks the ball through the goal post for another point, making the score 15-0.
Tubba Blubba: This is much easier than I thought!
Tubba Blubba kicks off to Tutankoopa,
who runs with all of his might. Tubba Blubba is unable to catch the
speeding Tutankoopa, who finds his
way into the end zone for a touchdown, with only 10 seconds remaining.
Tutankoopa: I'll go for two!
Tutankoopa tosses the ball up high,
then somehow catches it over Tubba Blubba's outstretched arms. The
score is now 15-8, with Tutankoopa
having an outside chance at making a comeback.
Tubba Blubba: You have to kick off to me, so you lose!
Tutankoopa: Not if I kick it only ten yards, then recover it myself!
Tubba Blubba: I'll be there to recover it before it goes ten yards!
The two players argue for about ten minutes over a hypothetical situation.
Roy: Wow.
Larry: How stupid.
Roy: I can't imagine anyone acting so idiotic.
Crazy Packers Fan rolls his eyes at the poster boy for arguing himself, Roy Koopa.
Tutankoopa: Here comes my awesome kick!
Tutankoopa kicks the ball very hard.
It bounces off Tubba Blubba's stomach and into Tutankoopa's arms.
Tutankoopa then outmaneuvers Tubba
Blubba, running down the field, seeing the clock run out. He dives,
hoping to make it into the end zone.
The call is...
Crazy Packers Fan: Touchdown!
Tubba Blubba: I want a replay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Larry, you know what to do.
Larry turns on the TV monitor. Crazy Packers Fan watches the replay, seeing if Tutankoopa made it into the end zone or if he came up short, as Tubba Blubba touched him on the ground after his dive. That would mean that if Tutankoopa's dive fell short, he would have been ruled down and the game would be over. The verdict is...
Crazy Packers Fan: Touchdown!
Tutankoopa: Yes!
Tubba Blubba: No!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now Tutankoopa can kick us to overtime or risk it all on the line with a two-point conversion play.
Tutankoopa: I'm a gambler. I'm going for two!
The crowd erupts, while both players
nervously walk ver to the two-yard line, where the ball is placed.
Tutankoopa stands behind the ball,
ready to pick it up and try to score. Tubba Blubba stands facing
Tutankoopa, wanting to make a huge
tackle to win the game, or knock down or even intercept a pass.
Tutankoopa: Hike!
Tutankoopa charges right at Tubba Blubba. Tubba Blubba tries pushing Tutankoopa to the ground. The ball ends up landing very close to the end zone line. Of course, a replay is necessary.
Crazy Packers Fan: I guess it wouldn't
be a Mario Madness football game without a replay deciding the
outcome.
Crazy Packers Fan stares into the TV monitor for a long time.
Roy: Hey, are you awake?
Crazy Packers Fan: *snore*
Roy: Oh, I'm sorry.
Larry: Wake up!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, yeah, the replay. The call is...
Tubba Blubba: Don't do this to me!
Tutankoopa: It always has to be dramatic.
Crazy Packers Fan: No points! The ball ended up short of the end zone line! Tubba Blubba wins, 15-14, and he is our Paper Mario Bracket Champion!
Tubba Blubba: Yes! Sweet victory!
Tubba Blubba celebrates his hard-earned
victory while collecting his trophy. Tutankoopa walks away in
disgust.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time for one final commercial break before we have our "Classic" Wild Cards Championship!
Roy: I'm Roy.
Larry: And I'm Larry.
Roy: We're here today to talk to you about fighting.
Larry: Fighting is useless. We should all be friends.
Roy: In fact, we stand here today as great examples of what friendship and no fighting can do for you.
Larry: I in particular am a great example.
Roy: I'm a better example, however.
Larry: No, you're off base, Roy.
Roy: I'm sure you're the one who's mistaken.
Larry: You want to make a bet?
Roy: I'd be glad to do that.
Larry: How much?
Roy: How about 500 coins?
Larry: You're too scared to make that bet.
Roy: I don't think so, you loser!
Larry: Who are you calling loser, moron?!
Roy: Why, you!
Just like the previous commercial, this
one ends in the two characters wrestling and fighting with each
other.
Crazy Packers Fan: And now that you
have heard that special service announcement, it's time for the
"Classic" Wild Cards Championship to
be decided! #3 Metal Mario takes on #5 Game Guy!
Metal Mario: I-a have all of Mario's
powers, but I'm-a also metal. I'm-a too strong to lose-a any physical
challenge. This-a match in particular
will be a cakewalk for me-a.
Game Guy: You need to know when to gamble, and I think I've gambled my way into this round. It took a lot of work, but now that I'm here, I plan on winning it all. Actually, that was my plan from round one, but it seems so much more possible now.
Crazy Packers Fan: This match will be decided by a board game known as chess.
Metal Mario: NO!!! I-a just lost!
Crazy Packers Fan: Are you resigning?
Metal Mario: No.
Crazy Packers Fan: This is a special
chess set, with the white pieces being represented by a Mario king,
Peach queen, Luigi bishops, Waluigi
knights, Wario rooks, and Toad pawns. The black pieces are represented
by a Bowser king, Clawdia queen, Boomerang Brother bishops, Fire Brother
knights, Sledge Brother rooks, and Koopaling pawns, including Susan. Metal
Mario is the higher seed, so he gets the white pieces, or the Mario pieces.
Metal Mario: Well, at least I get that.
Game Guy: I like board games. this should be a piece of cake!
Crazy Packers Fan: You will each have 10 minutes to make all of your moves. Ready, get set, go!
Metal Mario moves the Toad which is
third from his right forward one square (f3, for anyone who knows
chess notation).
Game Guy: This is a strange opening. I'll try this move.
Game Guy moves Iggy, who is in front of Bowser, forward two squares (e5).
Metal Mario: I-a don't like chess. I-a just make random moves.
Metal Mario moves the Toad which is second from his right forward two squares (g4).
Game Guy looks pale, and starts to shake
his head. He stares at the position for five minutes, looking as
frustrated as ever. Just as Metal Mario
cracks a smile...
Game Guy: Checkmate! I win! I'm the "Classic" Wild Cards Bracket Champion!
Game Guy moves Clawdia to the square on the edge of the board next to the further advanced Toad (Qh5).
Crazy Packers Fan: Game Guy is the "Classic" Wild Cards Bracket Champion, as he completes our collection of bracket champions! Game Guy, was that a really hardmove to make?
Game Guy: No, I pretended to be scared on purpose. It made things more dramatic.
Crazy Packers Fan: Here's your trophy. Meanwhile, let's look at what the matchups for round five will be, with percentage of votes received in parantheses:
Shy Guy (71%) vs. King Boo (67%)
Tubba Blubba (57%) vs. Game Guy (59%)
Crazy Packers Fan: Make sure you vote in this round and the next one, as we are very close to crowning our Mario Madness 2 Champion! Until next time, for Roy and Larry, I'm Crazy Packers Fan, saying so long for now!