Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to Waluigi
Stadium for Mario Madness 2! I'm here with Roy and Larry, as we
start a second tournament between 64
characters, this time all of which have appeared in Mario games. I'll
start out by giving the list of all
of the players in this tournament, as well as the first-round matchups.
Sub-con
#1-Panser vs. #16-Tweeter
#8-Bob-omb vs. #9-Porcupo
#4-Fry Guy vs. #13-Albatoss
#5-Mouser vs. #12-Shy Guy
#3-Triclyde vs. #14-Cobrat
#6-Wart vs. #11-Flurry
#2-Snifit vs. #15-Pokey
#7-Clawgrip vs. #10-Birdo
"New" Wild Cards
#1-King Boo vs. #16-Bowser Jr.
#8-Toadsworth vs. #9-Toadette
#4-Chomp Bro vs. #13-Cackletta
#5-Tanoomba vs. #12-Bowletta
#3-Diddy Kong vs. #14-Professor E.
Gadd
#6-Hoohooros vs. #11-Gooper Blooper
#2-Petey Piranha vs. #15-Shadow Mario
#7-Popple vs. #10-Fawful
Paper Mario
#1-Tubba Blubba vs. #16-Sushie
#8-Gourmet Guy vs. #9-Lakilester
#4-Kooper vs. #13-Huff 'N' Puff
#5-Goomba King vs. #12-Goombario
#3-Bombette vs. #14-Parakarry
#6-General Guy vs. #11-Crystal King
#2-Tutankoopa vs. #15-Watt
#7-Lava Piranha vs. #10-Bow
"Classic" Wild Cards
#1-Donkey Kong vs. #16-Maple
#8-Tap Tap vs. #9-Smithy
#4-King Bob-omb vs. #13-Geno
#5-Game Guy vs. #12-Mallow
#3-Metal Mario vs. #14-Mack
#6-Angry Sun vs. #11-Nep-enut
#2-Morton Koopa Jr. vs. #15-Croco
#7-Plum vs. #10 Koopa T. Quick
Crazy Packers Fan: By the way, in case
you were wondering, the "New" Wild Cards are characters who
first appeared in a Mario game on the
GameCube or the Game Boy Advance, while the "Classic" Wild Cards are characters
who first appeared in a Mario game on an earlier system. This week, we
will have the matches of the Sub-con and "New" Wild Card groups decided.
First, though, I will turn to our two expert analysts here to give their
predictions on who they think will win. Roy and Larry?
Roy is holding up a sign that says "Chuck the Cheater", while Larry is nowhere to be seen.
Crazy Packers Fan: That was two years ago!
Roy: That also cost me 990,000 coins!
I know I would have won that contest had Mr. Chuck not paid you to
fix that match!
Crazy Packers Fan: He didn't pay me off; that was the correct call!
Roy: I still refuse to speak to that idiot.
Crazy Packers Fan: Where's Larry?
Roy: He left while you were giving your speech.
Larry comes walking over to the rest with a bunch of bananas.
Crazy Packers Fan: Give them back.
Larry: How did you know I stole them from Donkey- well, now you know.
Crazy Packers Fan: Come on, we're trying to do a contest here! Anyway, Roy, who do you think will win each bracket, and why?
Roy: I know a bunch of Tweeters who
have moved to Sky Land, so I'm going to pick #16 Tweeter to go all the
way in the Sub-con bracket. I don't know most of those idiots in the "New"
Wild Card section, so I'll just
pick #1 King Boo, because he has the
highest seed. #14 Parakarry visits Sky Land a lot, and I like Paratroopas,
so he's going to win the Paper Mario bracket. Finally, #1 Donkey Kong is
a famous enemy of
Mario's, so I like him to win in the
"Classic" Wild Card section.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thank you, Mr. Scientific. Now let's hope Larry gives some better reasoning than you.
Larry: How can #6 Wart lose? Maybe if
it's a speed challenge, but otherwise, he should crush the competition
in the Sub-con bracket. #2 Petey Piranha is big and dangerous, so he should
beat the other "New" Wild Cards. #1 Tubba Blubba has it all, and there's
no way he can't win the Paper Mario section.
Finally, our brother #2 Morton Koopa
Jr. will make everyone wonder why he wasn't in the first Mario Madness
by beating the other "Classic" Wild Cards.
Crazy Packers Fan: Finally, I'll make
my choices: #8 Bob-omb, #10 Fawful, #8 Gourmet Guy, and #2 Morton
Koopa Jr. Now it's time to get the
contest underway, with the first matchup being #1 Panser vs. #16 Tweeter!
By the way, I ought to mention that in the men's college basketball tournament,
no #16 seed has ever beaten a #1 seed. It didn't happen once in Mario Madness.
Will it happen here? I certainly hope not, because #1 Panser is my favorite
character in the entire tournament!
Panser: Then why did you pick against me?
Crazy Packers Fan: This is really a popularity contest. I'll speak more on this at the end of today's matches.
Roy: (whispering to the camera) CPF
has fixed this match so Panser will win no matter what. You just wait
and see!
Crazy Packers Fan: This match will be
an obstacle course. I've put some different Sub-con features into
this place. The first one past the
finish line wins. Are you ready?
Tweeter: No, but you don't care, do you?
Crazy Packers Fan: Of course not. Go!
Tweeter hops into the course slowly,
while Panser runs as fast as he can (not very fast). Still, Panser has
a
big lead on Tweeter while dodging flying
Beezos, who aren't carrying pitchforks but instead protest signs
that say "MM2 - Beezo = Stupid".
Panser: Those guys were always big supporters of SURF. it's too bad they weren't included.
While Panser thinks about the good old days of SURF as well as the SMB2 vs. Lost Levels fights and arguments, Tweeter hops by into the lead. However, a Phanto ambushes him, but zooms past the deep-in-thought Panser, not touching him.
Larry: This looks suspicious.
Panser finally stops thinking and starts
running (but you wouldn't know it was running). He maneuvers
through some jars harmlessly. However,
when Tweeter hops to the jars, Cobrats ambush him.
Tweeter: This isn't fair!
Panser continues on, making it past some sleeping Shy Guys, which then wake up to ambush Tweeter. Finally, Panser sees the finish line ahead of him, with only a small stretch of quicksand to cross over.
Panser: Victory is- help!
Tweeter, who finally catches up with
Panser, is able to hop through the quicksand and cross the finish
line. Panser is picked up out of the
quicksand by a Beezo. Crazy Packers Fan looks extremely frustrated and
confused.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tweeter wins... but how? Hey, where's Roy?
Roy comes walking back over, carrying a shovel and a bag that says "Quicksand" on it.
Crazy Packers Fan: Cheater!
Roy: Look who's talking!
Larry: Let's move on to the next match!
Crazy Packers Fan: *sigh* This one will be free from any outside tampering. *glares at Roy*
Roy: I hope so, Mr. "Fix-the-match-so-Panser-will-win"!
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, it's #8 Bob-omb vs. #9 Porcupo. Some time ago, this used to be a huge rivalry. I don't know if it is now, but certainly this still should be fun to watch. This match will involve you two avoiding getting hit by Mario's vegetables. Mario has come here today to help out with this challenge. How's it going, Mario?
Mario: Great! Buy the Nintendo DS! Also
buy Paper Mario 2! Also buy Super Mario 64x4, Mario Pinball,
Mario vs. Donkey Kong, Mario Golf:
Advance Tour, Mario Tennis for the GameCube-
Crazy Packers Fan: Thank you for ending his microphone's transmission, Roy.
Roy: You're welcome. If a microphone has transmission.
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, are you ready? Go!
Mario is on top of a platform, tossing
vegetables one at a time into a bowl, where Bob-omb and Porcupo are
standing. Mario has been told to be
impartial, so he just tosses the vegetables into random spots in the bowl.
Both characters avoid the vegetables early on. That's when Mario starts
throwing the vegetables at a
higher velocity. Bob-omb and Porcupo
barely are able to dodge several of the throws.
Mario: Time-a to toss in a Giant-a Vegetable!
The Giant Vegetable comes crashing into
the bowl. Bob-omb is able to escape, but Porcupo gets bounced
out of the bowl by the Giant Vegetable-
and out of the tournament.
Crazy Packers Fan: Bob-omb is the winner!
Bob-omb: All right!
Porcupo: Rats.
Crazy Packers Fan: On to the next battle,
between #4 Fry Guy and #13 Albatoss! This one will be a direct
battle. Fry Guy will shoot fireballs
at Albatoss, while Albatoss tosses Bob-ombs at Fry Guy. The first one to
hit the other one wins!
Albatoss: How am I supposed to keep on tossing Bob-ombs at him? I can't just spit them out of my mouth like he can.
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't worry, we have
a whole pile of Bob-ombs stored on a platform for you to use. Roy
will continually replace them as you
go.
Roy: What?! I have to work!
Crazy Packers Fan: That's right, and this time, you'll be helping out one of your flying friends, so you can't cheat by not helping him. You want Albatoss to win, don't you?
Roy: Yeah, he visits Sky Land a lot.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then you have reason to help him. Now that everything's settled, let's go!
Albatoss grabs a Bob-omb and tosses
it Fry Guy's way. Fry Guy dodges it, while spitting some fireballs back.
Albatoss avoids those. After a few
back-and-forth shots, Fry Guy finally is able to hit Albatoss with a fireball,
which barely touches his right wing.
Crazy Packers Fan: Albatoss has been hit by a fireball! Fry Guy wins!
Albatoss: What?! How was I touched by a fireball?!
Crazy Packers Fan: It hit your right wing. Larry has the replay on that television monitor over there. Right, Larry?
Larry is watching a Mario cartoon episode.
Crazy Packers Fan: Turn on the replay, Larry!
Larry turns on the replay. By watching it, anyone can clearly see that Albatoss was touched by the fireball.
Albatoss: See?! I wasn't touched by the fireball!
Almost anyone, that is.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then you can go file
a protest, like so many other Mario Madness contestants have in
the past. In the meantime, it's time
for #5 Mouser vs. #12 Shy Guy!
Mouser: Shy Guy's going down!
Crazy Packers Fan: This will be a digging contest. You'll jump in your jar, dig through the sand, pick up the key, then come back here with it. Sounds easy, right?
Mouser: Of course!
Crazy Packers Fan: Good. Get ready, go!
Both contestants jump in their respective jars and start to dig.
Mouser: Hey, CPF didn't tell us about this!
Snifits are shooting bullets at the players, who have to be careful to avoid them, digging all over the place. Shy Guy is smaller, so he finds it easier to get past the Snifits in his jar than Mouser does in his jar. Mouser has to dig all over the jar to get past the Snifits.
Mouser: Stupid Snifits. Oh no!
A Clawgrip is at the bottom of each jar, throwing rocks at the contestants. Shy Guy easily avoids the rocks, grabbing his key and jumping back up the jar. Mouser has another hard time, having to dig all over the jar again in order to avoid the Clawgrip's rocks and grab his key.
Mouser: Time to climb to victory!
Mouser then realizes that he dug too much- there is no way out of the jar!
Mouser: I'm stuck!
Phanto: Don't worry; I'll keep you company!
Mouser throws the key, avoiding Phanto,
but having no way to win. Meanwhile, Shy Guy climbs out of the jar
with his key to victory!
Crazy Packers Fan: Shy Guy wins! Do you have anything to say, Shy Guy?
Shy Guy shakes his head "no".
Crazy Packers Fan looks at Larry's TV monitor and sees Mouser still unable to get out.
Crazy Packers Fan: Roy, I have some sand in case of emergency. Toss it in there!
Roy tosses the sand into the jar.
Mouser: Aaaahhhh! *cough* *cough*
Mouser climbs out of the jar, angrily looking towards Crazy Packers Fan and Roy.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's time for the next challenge, which is between two snakes: #3 Triclyde and #14 Cobrat!
Triclyde Head 1: Thissss sssshould be eassssy!
Triclyde Head 2: That'ssss for ssssure!
Triclyde Head 3: Ssssome challenger!
Cobrat: Ssssome favorite!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's obvious you two don't like each other. Anyway, let's get it on! For this battle, you'll shoot either your fireball or your bullet at a target. After three shots, whoever's shot is closest to the target wins! Are you ready?
All in unison: Yessss!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Cobrat will go first,
then Triclyde twice, then Cobrat twice, then Triclyde for the final
time. Go ahead, Cobrat.
Cobrat's shot hits the outside ring. Triclyde Head 1 shoots, missing the target altogether.
Triclyde Head 2: You sssstink at thissss!
Triclyde Head 2's shot hits the outside ring, but outside of where Cobrat's shot was.
Triclyde Head 1: You sssstink too!
Cobrat's next two shots both hit the inside ring, but not the bull's-eye.
Triclyde Head 3: It'ssss time for me to sssshow you the way it'ssss ssssuppossssed to be done!
Triclyde Head 3's shot hits the inside
ring, almost exactly below Cobrat's best shot. Suddenly, Triclyde
Head 1 sneezes, and fire shoots out
from his mouth, scorching the entire target, making it impossible to
tell who won.
Triclyde Head 2: Look what you did now!
Triclyde Head 1: Sssshut up!
Crazy Packers Fan: We'll have to look at the replay. Where's the TV monitor?
Roy: Larry took it with him to the restroom.
Crazy Packers Fan: He didn't.
Roy: He did.
Crazy Packers Fan: That's just great. Someone's got to have a tape of that last play!
Mr. Game & Watch walks over to Crazy Packers Fan with a tape.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's see this.
The replay shows Triclyde Head 3's shot being just inside Cobrat's best shot.
Crazy Packers Fan: Triclyde wins!
Cobrat: No!!! I protesssst!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go over there with Albatoss and file your protest. Believe me, it doesn't do any good.
Larry comes walking back with the TV monitor.
Crazy Packers Fan: You can throw that thing in the trash. I don't want it here!
Larry: Why? It was having some trouble with the color, so I brought it over to Bowser, and he fixed it.
Crazy Packers Fan: So you didn't use the restroom?
Larry: No. why would you think that?
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, no reason. *glares at Roy*
Roy: What?
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, time for #6 Wart vs. #11 Flurry!
Wart: It's about time I get a chance at one of these things!
Flurry: We Flurries are full of surprises!
Crazy Packers Fan: Mario is back, and
this time he is running a Bob-omb gun. This gun will fire Bob-ombs all
over this boxing ring here, in which
you two will be standing. Either dodge the Bob-ombs or grab them and
toss them away, but don't let one explode
on you! These special Bob-ombs contain syrup, which will make
it obvious who lost. I know Flurry
can't toss the Bob-ombs away, but he's a lot faster and smaller, so Wart
needed some sort of equalizer. Go into that boxing ring!
The two competitors walk into the boxing ring.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go ahead, Mario!
Mario starts firing away. Flurry easily dodges the Bob-ombs by skating around, but Wart just stands still, grabbing Bob-ombs and tossing them away. After five minutes of no one getting hit, a Bob-omb comes toward Wart.
Wart: Hmmmm.
Wart grabs the Bob-omb and tosses it at Flurry. It blows up, and Flurry is covered with syrup.
Crazy Packers Fan: Wart wins!
Flurry: He can't do that!
Crazy Packers Fan: There was never a rule against that!
Flurry walks away, mumbling to himself.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time for #2 Snifit vs. #15 Pokey! This battle will be a race across this large patch of ice to the finish line.
Snifit: That's it?
Roy: Here's a hint: this is Mario Madness 2.
Pokey: Uh oh.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Snifit and Pokey start out on the ice. Both are easily making it across the ice when Roy pushes a button. The ice suddenly melts, and Albatosses fly overhead, dropping apples.
Snifit: Apples?
Crazy Packers Fan: We ran out of Bob-ombs from that last match.
Snifit finally starts to pull away from Pokey. Pokey realizes that he has little chance at winning, so he tries something else.
Pokey: Could one of you Albatosses please give me an apple?
Snifit crosses the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Snifit wins!
Snifit: That's a relief.
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our final Sub-con match of the first round, which is #7 Clawgrip vs. #10 Birdo!
Birdo: Beating this idiot should be a cinch!
Clawgrip: I'm no idiot!
Crazy Packers Fan: I've constructed two metal statues of Mario.
Roy: Metal Mario!
Crazy Packers Fan: No, Metal Mario's
elsewhere in this competition. These aren't alive. Anyway, whoever
destroys his or her statue first wins.
It's very much like that Destruction Duet game in Mario Party 2. You
can do whatever you want to try to
destroy the statue. Are you ready?
Birdo: Sure.
Clawgrip: I guess so.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then go!
Birdo shoots eggs and fireballs alternately at the statue (she's a red Birdo), while Clawgrip throws rocks from a pile Roy conveniently put next to him. It doesn't take long for the players to notice that only Birdo's statue is taking much damage, from the fireballs and not the eggs. Clawgrip's statue has some dents in it, but that's about it.
Clawgrip: A new strategy is necessary.
Clawgrip tries banging his pincers against the statue. That tactic fails as well. He tries throwing rocks from close range. but another failure. Meanwhile, Birdo is trying to get only fireballs to come out and not eggs.
Birdo: How come I can't control my own mouth? Give me fireballs, not eggs!
Clawgrip then sees Mario taking a nap next to the Bob-omb gun, which is out of Bob-ombs.
Clawgrip: Wake up, idiot!
Mario: What's-a this?
Clawgrip: It's me, Clawgrip! I'm going to destroy you unless you fireball me!
Clawgrip starts to back away as Mario walks towards him. They approach the statue. Mario then stops.
Mario: I-a have no Fire Flower today! I will-a stone you with those rocks over-a there instead!
Clawgrip: No! Not that! NO!!!
While Mario throws rocks at Clawgrip, Birdo finally melts down her statue.
Crazy Packers Fan: Birdo wins! And Clawgrip's a big loser!
Clawgrip: Shut... up...
Crazy Packers Fan: In between the Sub-con
section and the "New" Wild Cards section, I will explain the
prizes:
Loss in 1st round: 1 coin
Loss in 2nd round: 10 coins
Loss in 3rd round: 100 coins
Loss in 4th round: 1,000 coins
Loss in 5th round: 10,000 coins
Loss in 6th round: 100,000 coins
Win in 6th round: 1,000,000 coins
Roy: And I would have 1,000,000 coins if not for that idiot Chuck!
Larry: Don't bring that up again.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's time for the "New" Wild Cards to show us their skills. or lack of skills, in some cases.
Bowser Jr: Are you speaking about me?
Crazy Packers Fan: The "lack of skills" part referred to you and Shadow Mario, of course.
Shadow Mario: Hey! How are we co-existing?
Crazy Packers Fan: The same way Metal Mario and Mario co-existed in Super Smash Bros. and Mario Golf 64.
Bowser Jr: How was that?
Crazy Packers Fan: I don't know.
Larry: Wait a minute! Maybe Shadow Mario was warped here through time, and the same with Metal Mario! Then these forms of these characters are from the past, but they traveled through a time machine to get here. Maybe Ludwig invented a time machine, and that's how they got here!
Roy: Or maybe CPF just wants them both here, and that's that.
Larry: Maybe that too.
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, let's start out with #1 King Boo vs. #16 Bowser Jr!
Bowser Jr: Hello, people!
Stadium: BOO!!!
Bowser Jr: I'm leaving!
Crazy Packers Fan: This isn't any Survivor reunion show, so you can't leave, whether you like it or not. You've got to stay and get embarrassed.
Bowser Jr: Maybe I'll be like Tweeter and pull off a major upset!
Crazy Packers Fan: Tweeter only pulled
off that upset because someone accidentally dug a hole and filled it
with quicksand. That shouldn't be considered
a huge accomplishment. But since no one's going to accidentally give you
a favor, you won't get the opportunity to pull off the big upset.
Roy: Oh, and like you didn't try to do the same for Panser!
Crazy Packers Fan: (ignoring Roy) Where's King Boo?
King Boo suddenly appears out of nowhere, causing everyone else to scream.
King Boo: I thought I'd have some fun before this easy victory.
Crazy Packers Fan: It should be easy. In this game, you're simply going to catch the coins thrown by Hammer the Hammer Brother, who is floating on a cloud overhead. He will also hammer you, if you're not careful. These coins and hammers will help and harm King Boo just as if he were like Bowser Jr, by the way, as I've Boo-proofed them.
Roy: How did you do that?
Crazy Packers Fan: Ludwig gave me some assistance.
Larry: Oh no!
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't worry, I told him to make these the opposite of the way I wanted them.
Larry: Oh, okay.
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, King Boo
is bigger, so he may catch coins easier, but he'll also get hit by
hammers more easily. Whoever has more
coins when one minute is over wins! Get ready, get set, go!
Bowser Jr. is not too smart. Instead of trying to catch coins, he tries to catch a hammer so he can hammer King Boo with it. He is not fast enough to catch any hammers, however, and he ends up getting hit by a bunch of them.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time's up! Let's
see how this went. King Boo, 10 coins, Bowser Jr, 0 coins! King Boo
wins!
King Boo: As I thought.
Bowser Jr: I'll show you all! I'll appear in more and more games just to annoy you!
Crazy Packers Fan: No, not that!
Bowser Jr: Ha ha ha! You just wait and see!
Crazy Packers Fan: *sigh* We'll move on to the next match, which is #8 Toadsworth vs. #9 Toadette.
Roy: A Toad rivalry?
Crazy Packers Fan: Perhaps. Anyway,
these two will have their own miniature race here in their go-karts
in this extremely tiny track, which
they will race around three laps. Understand?
Toadsworth: Sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Good. Get in your karts!
Toadette: This track is too small!
Crazy Packers Fan: Too bad. Go!
Both players start pretty evenly. They come to the first bend quite quickly- in fact, maybe too quickly.
Toadette: EEEEKKKK!!!
Toadette's kart is destroyed by a nearby
Chain Chomp attached to a block near the bend in the track, who
Toadsworth avoided. Toadette, meanwhile,
is flung way off the track.
Crazy Packers Fan: Toadette is unable to race. Toadsworth is the winner!
Toadsworth: Yahoo- AAAAHHHH!!!
Toadsworth is picked up by a Piranha
Plant, in a pipe on the side of the track. The Piranha Plant spits him
out, however.
Piranha Plant: Toadsworth tastes awful!
Crazy Packers Fan: That was a disaster, but at least we got a winner out of that. Now it's time for our next match: #4 Chomp Bro vs. #13 Cackletta!
Larry: This is a pretty strange matchup.
Crazy Packers Fan: Yes, but certainly it's still going to be pretty interesting as well. Both of these Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga characters seem to be quite powerful, but for this next match, their power won't mean much. It's a race through a maze of mirrors, and each of you has your own maze.
Chomp Bro: May we break down the mirrors?
Crazy Packers Fan: You may, but you can't. They're unbreakable, or so I'm told.
Cackletta: So you're told?! I can easily break them!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go ahead and try,
but you're better off just trying to make it through your maze. On your
mark, get set, go!
Both players run toward his or her own maze, where they start out by trying to break down the first mirrors they see. The mirrors actually are unbreakable.
Chomp Bro: I'll figure out a way to break these down!
Cackletta: He may have stopped me that way, but he won't stop me totally!
Cackletta figures out where she is going much faster than the hard-headed Chomp Bro, who is trying to break down a mirror by using his head.
Chomp Bro: This still isn't working!
While Chomp Bro tries charging into a mirror, Cackletta finds her way out of the maze of mirrors, and to the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Cackletta wins!
Cackletta: I told you I wouldn't be stopped!
Crazy Packers Fan: All you needed to do was get through the maze of mirrors, instead of trying to figure out a way to break the mirrors. You did so, and that's why you won- and why Chomp Bro isn't out of the maze yet.
Chomp Bro: Maybe if I pick up a mirror...
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our next match, between #5 Tanoomba vs. #12 Bowletta! In case you haven't played Mario & Luigi yet, you'd better close your eyes and ears.
Roy ducks under the table he is sitting at, covering his ears.
Crazy Packers Fan: Bowletta is the final boss of Mario & Luigi!
Larry: That's what you think!
Crazy Packers Fan: Come on, don't ruin
the moment for me here! Anyway, who knows why Roy is hiding
underneath the table, considering he
worked with this boss before.
Larry: That's Roy for you.
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, it's a character
that looks like Bowser against a Goomba that looks like he is
wearing a Raccoon Suit in this jumping
battle.
Bowletta: Jumping?! No! That's not fair!
Crazy Packers Fan: Who said this competition was fair?
Bowletta: You did, some matches ago when talking about making it fair for Wart against Flurry.
Crazy Packers Fan: I want a replay of this!
Larry puts on the replay.
Crazy Packers Fan: I know Flurry can't toss the Bob-ombs away, but he's a lot faster and smaller, so Wart needed some sort of equalizer.
Cackletta: See?
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, okay, so I did for that match, but this is what was chosen, and you'll have to live with it!
Tanoomba: This should be an easy win!
Crazy Packers Fan: You'll jump from
this line over those Munchers to see who can get farther. Tanoomba,
with the higher seed, you get to choose
whether you want to go first or second.
Tanoomba: I'll go first!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go ahead.
Tanoomba runs up to the line, takes
off, then flies across the Munchers easily, before getting hit by a
mysterious Giant Koopa Paratroopa who
knocks him to the ground.
Crazy Packers Fan: 573 feet! That's the mark to beat!
Bowletta: I'm going to have to use more than my feet to win this contest.
Bowletta runs up to the line and jumps. The same Giant Koopa Paratroopa picks her up and carries her pretty far, before he can't carry the weight anymore and has to let her go.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's look at the mark here... 572 feet! Tanoomba wins!
Roy: No!
Crazy Packers Fan: Why the disgust, Roy?
Roy: That cost me 100 coins!
Larry: Pay up, pal!
Crazy Packers Fan: So that's where the
Giant Koopa Paratroopa came from. Anyway, we're on to the next
match, which is #3 Diddy Kong vs. #14
Professor E. Gadd!
Roy: How is Diddy Kong a Mario character?
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, he probably isn't, but he appeared in Mario Kart: Double Dash, so we're letting him pass.
Roy: I don't like that decision!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yeah, well, so what? You're not going to stop me, are you?
Roy: No.
Crazy Packers Fan: Then let's get this underway. We're playing the Mario Party 5 mini-game where you turn your flashlight on when you want the Chain Chomp to stop. In our version, you're going to start with it on and have to turn it off for your Chain Chomp to stop, because I don't have these Chain Chomps under control at the beginning like Mario Party 5 had them. You want to get your Chain Chomp to stop as close to you as possible by turning on your flashlight. If it doesn't stop, then you lose. Understood?
Diddy Kong: Yes.
Professor E. Gadd: Don't forget to mention that I invented and manufactured those flashlights myself!
Crazy Packers Fan: I failed to mention that on purpose. Anyway, there are your Chain Chomps, and here are your flashlights. You may begin anytime you want.
10 minutes later...
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, since you both refuse to turn your flashlights off, I'll force you to do so when I say go.
Diddy Kong: And if we don't?
Crazy Packers Fan: You lose automatically. Go!
Both players turn their flashlights off. Then.
Both players: AAAAHHHH!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: *sigh* These two need some help.
The players slowly trudge back to Crazy Packers Fan, Roy, and Larry.
Crazy Packers Fan: All right, let's
do this again. Remember to turn your flashlights back on again when
you want the Chain Chomp to stop, like
I said the first time.
Diddy Kong: You did?
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't start that stuff again. Ready, set, go!
This time, Diddy Kong turns his flashlight off and on very quickly, giving him a very long distance. Professor E. Gadd stops his Chain Chomp much closer to him than Diddy Kong did.
Crazy Packers Fan: Diddy Kong's distance
is 20 feet, while Professor E. Gadd's distance is 10 feet!
Professor E. Gadd wins!
Professor E. Gadd: Buy my products!
You'll never know when you may get invited to a mysterious mansion with
your brother stuck inside a painting, or when you'll get put on trial by
a bunch of morons and be stupid
enough to help them out instead of
just killing them all, thus needing my product-
Crazy Packers Fan: Make sure to end transmission a little faster next time, Roy.
Roy: At least I did end that microphone's transmission!
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our next match, between #6 Hoohooros and #11 Gooper Blooper!
Gooper Blooper: I refuse to compete if this isn't a fair match!
Hoohooros: Same here!
Roy: How are you going to make a fair match between these two?
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't worry about
it, okay? Mario and Luigi have volunteered to fight you two. The first
one to defeat his plumber wins!
Hoohooros: But the Mario Bros. always win!
Crazy Packers Fan: Mario and Luigi have been told to take it easy on you two. I know neither of you is strong enough to destroy his plumber, so all you'll have to do is knock him down.
Gooper Blooper: You underestimate our power!
Crazy Packers Fan: You'll soon see that half a plumber's skill is better than a whole boss. Anyway, Hoohooros is the higher seed, so he gets choice of plumber.
Hoohooros: Luigi.
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, do whatever you need to do to defeat your plumber! Ready, set, go!
Gooper Blooper: What an idiot. He thinks I can't destroy Mario- ouch!
Mario: That's-a one tentacle!
Goober Bloober: Oh no! I still haven't figured out a way to stop Mario- ouch!
Mario: That's-a two tentacles!
Hoohooros: You can't beat me- oof!
Luigi: I-a will keep on-a jumping on you!
After 15 minutes of the plumbers mercilessly humiliating their opponents, Crazy Packers Fan halts the fight.
Crazy Packers Fan: Mario and Luigi obviously
are too competitive to take it easy on you two, which is
making this battle turn ugly. Now I'm
making it that only Luigi will fight you two! The first to take down Luigi
wins!
Luigi decides to jump on Hoohooros again. As he does, Gooper Blooper swings a regenerated tentacle at Luigi and knocks him to the ground.
Crazy Packers Fan: Gooper Blooper wins! Obviously, if you two could team up, you'd be much stronger than going solo.
Hoohooros: I could have used his help some time ago.
Gooper Blooper: So could have I!
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, let's move on to the next match, which is between #2 Petey Piranha and #15 Shadow Mario!
Shadow Mario: No booing me!
Petey Piranha: This should be easy, just like King Boo's win was.
Crazy Packers Fan: Both of you will
be forced to try to cover your wall with mud, paint, or whatever that
stuff you used in Super Mario Sunshine.
The one who covers more of his wall in 30 seconds wins!
Petey Piranha: Easy!
Shadow Mario: An upset is definitely possible, with my paintbrush!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both players start putting that strange,
awful stuff on their walls. They both come very close to covering
their whole walls when time runs out.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time's up! Let this
special scanning machine see how much of the wall has been
covered up by each player!
Roy: I'll give you the results. Petey
Piranha, 95%. Shadow Mario, 9- oh, no! Someone must have pulled the
plug on this thing!
Larry: Sorry, I tripped over the wire on my way over here.
Roy: Plug it back in!
A few minutes later...
Roy: 94%. Petey Piranha wins!
Shadow Mario: I don't believe you, Roy!
Roy: You'd better believe me... or face these fists!
Shadow Mario: Okay, okay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Finally, we come
to the moment we've all been waiting for. #7 Popple vs. #10 Fawful,
who-
Everyone: HAS FURY!!!
Fawful: This contest is futile. Just give me the million coins now!
Crazy Packers Fan: I can't do that. You first have to get past Popple-
Everyone: BOO!!!
Popple: What did I do?
Crazy Packers Fan: You're against Fawful,
that's what. Anyway, it's time for this battle, which will be a
flat-out battle between you two. The
first one to knock the other one down wins!
Roy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Fawful jumps into a dome-shaped object.
While Popple complains that this is illegal, Fawful charges up an
energy ray, then fires it.
BOOM!!!
Popple is blasted into the roaring crowd.
Roy: That's it?
Crazy Packers Fan: That's it, obviously. Fawful wins easily! And with that, the first half of the first round of Mario Madness 2 is over!
Roy: Finally!
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, if you don't
want to get paid an enormous number of coins for doing pretty much
nothing-
Roy: No, no, no!
Crazy Packers Fan: All right. Now let's
look at what the matchups will be in the second round, which will
NOT be next time, but the time afterward.
By the way, the percentages next to the names are the percentages of votes
they received.
Sub-con
#8 Bob-omb (74%) vs. #16 Tweeter (68%)
#4 Fry Guy (74%) vs. #12 Shy Guy (75%)
#3 Triclyde (89%) vs. #6 Wart (53%)
#2 Snifit (75%) vs. #10 Birdo (81%)
"New" Wild Cards
#1 King Boo (83%) vs. #8 Toadsworth
(67%)
#5 Tanoomba (53%) vs. #13 Cackletta
(65%)
#11 Goober Bloober (60%) vs. #14 Professor
E. Gadd (75%)
#2 Petey Piranha (52%) vs. #10 Fawful
(86%)
Crazy Packers Fan: You can vote for who you want to win in each round as Mario Madness 2 goes along. A few of these battles were extremely close, so certainly your vote does matter. I thank all of you who voted. Until next time, I'm Crazy Packers Fan here with Roy and Larry saying so long!