The teams rush to the box, tripping over their own feet trying to get there first.
>>Team Koopa-first at Route Marker<<
Bowser: It says go to the first and only comic made by Karma Koopa.
Lemmy: The teams must now race to the airport and catch a plane to Lemmy’s Funnies. There, they must find Karma Koopa’s Titanic, where the next clue awaits.
Bowser Jr: Hey! There’s money in here!
Bowser: Taxi!
*Screech!* A taxi pulls up.
Driver: Where to, bub?
Bowser Jr: The airport, pronto!
The cab drives off without them.
Bowser: Stupid cartoon puns!
>>Team Mario-second at Route Marker<<
Mario: The only Karma Koopa comic? That’s-a easy! Come on, Luigi!
Luigi: Wait up, Mario!
Mario: Taxi!
*Screech!*
Driver: Mr. Mario and Luigi! I remember you from the last race!
Luigi: What a coincidence!
*Vroom!*
>>Team Sludge-third at Route Marker<<
Petey Piranha: Karma Koopa’s comic? It’s on the tip of my tongue…
King Boo: Come on! Taxi!
A few taxis drive by without notice.
King Boo: Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear… I WILL HAUNT THE LIVES OF EVERY LIVING THING UNLESS A TAXI PULLS UP!!!
*Screech!*
King Boo: That’s better!
>>Team Cute-fourth at Route Marker<<
Yoshi: We need to go to first Karma Koopa comic. Wow!
*Screech!*
Driver: What a cute couple of dinosaurs!
Birdo: His trick still works!
>>Team Cheat-fifth at Route Marker<<
Wario: Karma’s comic? Quick! Let’s get a taxi!
Waluigi: I’m scared of taxis!
Wario: Ugh! Taxi!
Wario literally throws Waluigi into the taxi.
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser: TAXI!
*Screech!*
Driver: Where to?
Bowser Jr: Airport, please!
The Koopas get in the taxi and the tires bust from the weight.
Bowser Jr: Maybe we should take a bus…
>>Team Golf-sixth at Route Marker<<
Neil: Karma Koopa’s comic? Hurry, Ella!
Ella: Taxi!
*Screech!*
Neil: A couple of kids to the airport, on the double!
>>Team Kisses-seventh at Route Marker<<
Larry: The only Karma Koopa comic?
Susan: Forget that! How about some sugar for your girl, Larry?
Larry: Er, hey! Let’s hitch a ride on the bumper of that taxi right there!
Susan: Ok… No sugar?
Larry: I’m outta here!
>>Team Toad-eighth at Route Marker<<
Toad: Karma’s comic? Well, we'd better get a taxi!
Toadette: Taxi!
Unfortunately, the Toads are too small for any taxis to see.
Toad: Look! A bus!
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser Jr: Dad! Look! Team Toad is getting on a bus!
Bowser: Follow them!
Bowser and Bowser Jr. jump on the bus just as it is pulling away.
Bowser: ROAAR! You better give us a free ride, OR ELSE!
Driver: Y-y-y-yes, sir!
>>Team Princess-ninth at Route Marker<<
Peach: Karma’s comic… ok…
Daisy: Let’s do it! Taxi!
>>Team Ape-tenth at Route Marker<<
Diddy: Karma Koopa’s comic? Okay!
DK: TAXI!
*Screech!*
>>Team Queen-eleventh at Route Marker<<
Wendy: Karma’s comic? TAXI!
*Screech!* *Screech!* *Screech!*
Clawdia: You still got it, dear.
>>Team Bean-last at Route Marker<<
Cackletta: We’re last?
Fawful: Um… taxi?
*Screech!*
>>Teams Mario, Sludge, and Cute<<
All three teams end up at the airport at almost the same time. The characters say the same thing.
Mario, King Boo, and Yoshi: We would like tickets to Lemmy’s Funnies.
Ticket Gent: There’s an available flight at 2:00. How that?
Luigi, Petey, and Birdo: We’ll take it!
>>Team Cheat<<
They arrive at the airport, steal the driver’s wallet, and enter.
Wario: Tickets to Lemmy’s Funnies! Pronto!
Ticket Agent: I’m sorry! I sold the last tickets for the 2:00 flight. How about the 2:30 flight?
Wario: Grrr… FINE!
>>Teams Golf and Kisses<<
The two teams enter the airport and walk up to the agent.
Neil: Four tickets to Lemmy’s Funnies. (to Larry) We split the price…
Ticket Agent: Here you go! The 2:30 flight!
>>Teams Koopa and Toad<<
The two teams get off the bus and enter the airport.
Toad: Tickets to Lemmy’s Funnies, please.
Ticket Agent: We have a 3:00 flight.
Toad: We’ll take it!
>>Teams Ape, Princess, Queen, and Bean<<
The four teams exit the taxis and enter the building.
Peach: Eight tickets to Lemmy’s Funnies, and we’ll be paying for our own tickets.
Ticket Agent: Here you go! A 3:00 flight!
The teams sit down to enjoy the food while they wait for their plane.
>>2:00-Teams Mario, Sludge, and Cute<<
The three teams board their plane and take off.
Light Mario: The three teams are the first ones to leave the ground, meaning they have a better chance at winning this le- OW! Who threw a spit can at me?
>>2:30-Teams Cheat, Golf, and Kisses<<
The teams board the plane and relax.
Larry: HELP! GET ME AWAY FROM HER!!!
Er, sort of…
>>Teams Mario, Sludge, and Cute<<
The three teams get off the plane.
Mario: That was something.
Luigi: I never saw anyone puke sludge like that!
Petey’s face turns a million shades of red (besides the red color it always is). Suddenly, a number of arms grab the teams and strap them to some tables in another room.
???: I see you made it. A few minutes ago, I was called and hired by Wario to stop you.
Mario: That dirty, piece of-
???: Now, now… Let’s not get hasty!
King Boo, being a ghost, slips through his straps and kills the man. He then unlocks the others.
Luigi: For enemies like you, you’re not bad.
The teams exit the airport and call for taxis.
>>3:00-Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Princess, Queen, and Bean<<
The teams enter the rather cramped plane and are on their way to Lemmy’s Funnies.
>>Teams Cheat, Golf, and Kisses<<
The teams exit the airport safe and sound.
Larry: Help… me… too… much… kissing…
Larry faints. Once again, I’m wrong…
>>Team Mario<<
The two arrive at the location of the next clue, Karma’s comic Titanic. They see the box with Lemmy’s face and run to it, open it, and read the next clue.
>>Team Mario-first at Whomp Stop<<
Mario: It’s a Whomp Stop!
Light Mario: A Whomp Stop is an obstacle or task that only one person from each team can complete to earn the next clue. In this Whomp Stop, the one player must try to get Ludwig through the doors of the theater.
Mario: I’ll do it!
Mario runs up to the set.
>>Team Cute-second at Whomp Stop<<
Yoshi: A strength gig, eh? Yoshi will do it.
Yoshi runs toward the set.
>>Team Sludge-third at Whomp Stop<<
Petey: I’ll do it! I’m big and strong!
King Boo: (quietly to himself as Petey runs off) Don’t forget stupid!
>>Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Princess, Queen, and Bean<<
Cackletta gets impatient and attacks the pilot for no good reason. The pilot faints.
Cackletta: … Fawful, fly the plane!
Fawful: WHAT? You know I can’t fly!
Cackletta: This manual will tell you!
>>Team Cheat-fourth to Whomp Stop<<
Wario and Waluigi run to the box and read the clue.
Wario: You do it!
Waluigi: What? I’m too scared!
Wario: Fine! I’ll do it! Scaredycat!
Waluigi: SCAREDYCAT!!! WHERE?
Wario sighs.
>>Team Golf-fifth at Whomp Stop<<
Neil: Pushing Ludwig is easy! I can hit a ball over 300 yards!
Ella: Good luck!
Neil runs to the stage.
>>Team Kisses<<
Susan: Larry! Wake up! We need to get going!
Larry: I’m… okay… *gasp*
Larry faints again.
>>Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Princess, Queen, and Bean<<
Bowser: YOU IDIOT! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT LED TO ME LOSING LAST TIME!!!
Cackletta: HOW WOULD I KNOW THE PILOT WOULD FAINT FROM BEING PINCHED?!
Toad: THAT’S BECAUSE YOU HIT A PRESSURE POINT THAT PUTS PEOPLE TO SLEEP!!!
The plane does a sudden loop-de-loop.
Everyone: AAAHH!!!
Fawful: THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER PILOT HERE THAN ME!
Bowser: Step aside!
Fawful: You can fly?
Bowser: It’s similar to the Clown Copter.
Meanwhile, at Wart’s Castle…
Wart: Then why didn’t he fly the plane in the first race? Probably lazy…
>>Teams Mario, Yoshi, Sludge, Cheat, and Golf<<
Director: Okay, please decide who’s going first so I can get on with my life.
Wario: I am!
Mario: No! I am!
Director: Tell you what… I’ll have you go in alphabetical order since you can’t decide.
Mario: I’m first!
Mario runs up to Ludwig and pushes him through the door easily.
Director: Good job! Here’s your clue.
Mario: *runs to Luigi* It says to go to the comic of a prince that has to do with my favorite food.
Lemmy: The players must now go to the P District and find Prince Larry’s comic, The King of Cheese. The next clue is there.
Luigi: Taxi!
Director: Next!
Neil walks up to Ludwig and whacks him with his golf club right through the door and through the back of the set.
Neil: Oops…
Director: Well, you didn’t do exactly what I thought you would, but you completed the challenge. Here’s your clue.
Neil: *runs to Ella* I got the clue! Let’s go!
Ella: Taxi!
>>Team Kisses-sixth at Whomp Stop<<
Susan: I can’t believe I had to drag you all the way to the Whomp Stop. Luckily, you’ll be up by the time I return.
Larry: …
>>Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Princess, Queen, and Bean<<
Bowser: Look out! We’re about to crash!
The plane crashes in the middle of Lemmy’s Funnies. Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Queen, and Bean fly in one direction and land right next to the clue at Karma’s comic (some landing on Larry). Team Princess, however, flies in a different direction and land in the A District.
>>Team Princess<<
Peach: It’ll take too long to reach K District. Let’s go find the Magic Lamp.
Light Mario: If a team feels they are too far behind, they can go find the Magic Lamp and go straight to the pitstop. However, once a team uses a Magic Lamp, they can’t use another one for the rest of the race. In this leg, the Magic Lamp is in a secret pot in the C District.
Daisy: Taxi!
>>Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Queen, and Bean<<
The five teams wake up and get the clue.
>>Team Toad-seventh at Whomp Stop<<
>>Team Queen-eighth at Whomp Stop<<
>>Team Ape-ninth at Whomp Stop<<
>>Team Bean-tenth at Whomp Stop<<
>>Team Koopa-eleventh at Whomp Stop<<
Toad, Clawdia, DK, Fawful, and Bowser: I’ll do it.
>>Teams Sludge, Cute, Cheat, and Kisses<<
Director: Next!
Petey taps Ludwig and sends him flying through the door.
Director: Excellent! Here’s your clue! Next!
Wario runs up but gets intercepted by Susan.
Wario: Hey! I’m next!
Susan: No, I am! I’m about a few letters ahead of you!
Wario: DRAT!
Susan sways Ludwig and pushes him through the door.
Director: Nice! Here’s your clue! Next!
Wario runs up to Ludwig and falls down right before him.
Director: Pathetic! Next!
Yoshi kicks Ludwig through the door and into a seat.
Director: Awesome! Here’s your clue! Next!
Wario runs at Ludwig and punches him through the door.
Director: Ok! Here’s your clue. Next!
…
Director: NEXT!
Wario: There’s no one else, but there are a few people coming. Just wait here.
Director: Like I have a choice?
The four teams get their own cabs and are on the way to Prince Larry’s comics.
>>Teams Koopa, Toad, Ape, Queen, and Bean<<
Bowser: You better get in there or you're grounded!
Ludwig: Y-y-y-yes, King Dad!
Director: So persuasive! Here’s your clue! Next!
Clawdia: You better do the same thing for your mother.
Ludwig: Yes, Mom…
Director: Here’s your clue! Next!
DK punches Ludwig and shoots him through the movie screen.
Director: … Um, here’s your clue! Next!
Fawful pushes Ludwig but to no avail.
Fawful: Man, I need a break…
Fawful pulls out a chocolate bar.
Ludwig: CHOCOLATE!
Fawful runs into the theater and drops it. Ludwig tackles it like a dog.
Director: Um… ok… Here’s your clue… Next!
Toad runs into Ludwig and gets knocked down. Toad grabs a Super Mushroom, and uses a burst of strength to push Ludwig into the theater.
Director: Nicely done! Here’s your clue!
The teams get in taxis and drive to the P District.
>>All teams except Team Princess<<
In a bizarre accident, the teams that left earlier get caught in traffic and everyone reaches The King of Cheese at the same time.
>>Team Cute-first at Junction<<
Birdo: It’s a Junction!
Light Mario: A Junction is where both players have to choose one out of two ways to get to the next clue, each with its own pros and cons.
Lemmy: In this Junction, the players can choose between Slide or Ride. In Slide, the players can slide down through a maze of tunnels. It is quick but dark and scary. At the end of the slide, the players have to choose the correct warp pipe to move to the next pipe room. A wrong guess takes them to the beginning of the slide, which wastes valuable time. After five correct guesses, the players appear in front of the next clue.
Light Mario: In Ride, the players can ride a bus along a 5-mile road. It takes a lot of time to get to the clue, but is not scary in any way!
Yoshi: Yoshi Slide!
Team Cute slides down. But it is so dark, they can’t see each other or the bottom of the slide.
>>Team Bean-second at Junction<<
Cackletta: We’ll take the bus. I always wanted to ride one.
Fawful: …
>>Team Cheat-third at Junction<<
Wario: Let’s take the bus. I don’t want you crying like a baby and cramping my style.
>>Team Queen fourth at Junction<<
Wendy: I want a private bus.
Clawdia: Alright, dear.
>>Team Kisses-fifth at Junction<<
Susan: We’ll take the bus. I don’t want to drag you through a number of warp pipes unconscious.
Larry: …
>>Team Cute<<
Yoshi: How long is this slide?
Suddenly, a light appears up ahead.
Birdo: I think it’s the bottom.
The two emerge into a giant chamber with three pipes side-by-side.
Yoshi: Look!
On the wall is the following message: "Rick melted leaves making rope."
Yoshi: What? Yoshi no get it.
Birdo: Let’s jump in the left pipe.
They jump in the left pipe and appear at the top of the slide.
Yoshi: Rats!
Birdo: Let’s try again!
>>Team Golf-sixth at Junction<<
Neil: Let’s slide!
Ella: OK!
They go down the slide behind Team Cute.
>>Team Mario-seventh at Junction<<
Luigi: Let’s-a slide!
They go down the slide.
>>Team Sludge-eighth at Junction<<
King Boo: We have to take the bus. We’ll not fit on that slide.
Team Sludge boards a bus.
>>Team Toad ninth at Junction<<
Toadette: To the bus! To the bus!
>>Team Koopa tenth at Junction<<
Bowser: WE’RE TAKING THE BUS!
>>Teams Cute, Golf, and Mario<<
Birdo: Let’s take the middle pipe!
Neil: We’re taking the right pipe. The message on the wall shows the pattern.
Mario: Follow them!
>>Team Ape-eleventh at Junction<<
Diddy: Let’s take the bus.
DK: Cool!
>>Team Cute<<
Birdo: We should take the right pipe this time!
They jump in and spot Teams Golf and Mario jumping in the middle pipe.
Yoshi: Follow them!
Eventually, they reach the Route Marker.
>>Team Golf-first at Route Marker<<
Ella: Go to the Pitstop.
Lemmy: The players must now go to Wendy’s only comic, Mario vs. Realty, to check in to go to the next leg. The last team to arrive at the Pitstop will be eliminated.
Neil: Taxi!
>>Team Mario-second at Route Marker<<
Mario: To the Pitstop! Taxi!
>>Team Cute third at Route Marker<<
Yoshi: Go to Pitstop. Wow!
*Screech!*
>>Teams Cheat, Queen, Bean, Toad, Kisses, Koopa, Ape, and Sludge<<
The busses leave and arrive twenty minutes later at the Route Marker. Except…
Cackletta: HOW COULD THE BUSS BREAK DOWN ONE MILE FROM THE CLUE?! WE'LL NEED TO WALK!
Meanwhile…
>>Team Queen-fourth at Route Marker<<
>>Team Toad-fifth at Route Marker<<
>>Team Sludge-sixth at Route Marker<<
>>Team Koopa-seventh at Route Marker<<
>>Team Cheat-eighth at Route Marker<<
>>Team Ape-ninth at Route Marker<<
>>Team Kisses-tenth at Route Marker<<
Susan: Oy! You’re getting heavier, Larry!
>>Team Princess<<
Peach: We’ve searched for an hour now! I’m sure the warp pipe's not here!
Daisy: I found it!
They run to the warp pipe and jump in.
Geh geh geh!
They come out the other end and see the Magic Lamp in front of them. They rub it and a genie appears.
Genie: I shall take you to the Pitstop as you like.
The genie jumps up and lands, releasing a shockwave knocking the sisters toward the Pitstop.
>>Team Golf<<
The two golfers arrive at the comic and see Lemmy and Light Mario on a mat up ahead. The duo runs up to the mat, but the second they step on it, something falls on them.
Teams Princess and Golf: OW!
Light Mario: Um… Welcome to Mario vs. Reality? ... Did they touch the mat at the same time? STOPWATCHES!
Lemmy looks at the stopwatches. Accordingly, Team Golf finished at 4:56 PM. Team Princess finished at 4:57 PM.
Lemmy: That settles it! Neil and Ella, you’re the first team to finish.
***TEAM GOLF-FIRST PLACE-4:56 PM***
Neil: AL-LLLLLLLLLLLL-RIGHT!
Ella: YEAH!
Light Mario: As the first team to finish, you get this free gift, a T-shirt with the Lemmy’s Land logo for each of you.
Neil: SWEET!
Lemmy: You can stop yelling now.
Neil: Sorry!
Light Mario: Anyway, Team Princess, you’re team number two.
***TEAM PRINCESS-SECOND PLACE-4:57 PM***
Peach: Yeah!
Daisy: Yes!
>>Team Mario<<
Mario: Hurry, Luigi!
Mario and Luigi jump on the mat.
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Mario and Luigi, you’re team number three.
***TEAM MARIO-THIRD PLACE-5:05 PM***
Mario: HERE WE GO!
Luigi: OK!
>>Team Cute<<
Yoshi: Come on! We almost there!
Yoshi and Birdo jump on the mat.
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Yoshi and Birdo, you’re team number four.
***TEAM CUTE-FOURTH PLACE-5:08 PM***
Yoshi: YOSHI!
Birdo: Oh yes!
>>Team Bean-last at Route Marker<<
Fawful: We finally reached the clue after a one-mile hike.
Cackletta: To the Pitstop! Taxi!
>>Team Sludge<<
King Boo: COME ON!
Petey: Z…Z…Z…
King Boo: Only... a… few… more… inches…
They both step on the mat.
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Petey and King Boo, you’re team number five.
***TEAM SLUDGE-FIFTH PLACE-5:13 PM***
Petey: Z…Z…Z…
King Boo: *sigh*
>>Team Queen<<
Wendy: Hurry, Mom!
Clawdia: Ok, honey!
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Sister, Mom, you’re team number six.
***TEAM QUEEN-SIXTH PLACE-5:16 PM***
Wendy: That’s not bad...
Clawdia: Thanks, Lemmy.
>>Team Toad<<
Toad: The Pitstop’s up ahead!
Toadette: Hurry!
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Toad and Toadette, you’re team number seven.
***TEAM TOAD-SEVENTH PLACE-5:20 PM***
Toad: OK!
Toadette: YEAH!
>>Team Kisses<<
Susan: *pulls Larry to the mat* Well… we’re here… *gasp*
Larry: … Oh, my head… What happened?
Susan: Oh, NOW you wake up?
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Larry: Huh?
Lemmy: You were unconscious since you got off the plane. Anyway, you’re team number eight.
***TEAM KISSES-EIGHTH PLACE-5:24 PM***
Susan: Yes!
Larry: I’m serious! What happened?
>>>Team Ape<<
DK: ‘K!
Diddy: A little farther…
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: DK and Diddy, you’re team number nine.
***TEAM APE-NINTH PLACE-5:29 PM***
DK: Cool!
Diddy: Do you always say that and “’K”?
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Just step on the mat, Waluigi!
Waluigi: But it could be booby-trapped!
Wario lifts Waluigi and puts him on the mat.
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Wario and Waluigi, you’re team number ten.
***TEAM CHEAT-TENTH PLACE-5:35 PM***
Wario: YES! WE’RE STILL IN!
Waluigi: I’m scared!
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser: We’re there at last!
Bowser Jr: I hope we’re not too late!
Light Mario: Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: King Dad, sibling, you’re team number-
Bowser: YOU BETTER NOT SAY WE’RE ELIMINATED!
Lemmy: You’re team number eleven.
***TEAM KOOPA-ELEVENTH PLACE-3:40 PM***
Bowser: OH YEAH! WE’RE STILL IN!
Bowser Jr: Narrowly!
Light Mario: That just leaves…
>>Team Bean<<
As the last team walks up the hill, sad music plays.
Fawful: What’s with this music?
They step on the mat.
Light Mario: (sadly) Welcome to Mario vs. Reality!
Lemmy: Cackletta and Fawful, you’re the last team to arrive, so you are eliminated.
***TEAM BEAN-ELIMINATED***
Cackletta: WHAT?
Fawful: We will get even! We have FURY!
Team Bean runs off into the distance.
Lemmy: Well, that takes care of this leg of the race.
Light Mario: I can’t wait for the next leg.
Lemmy: Well, until next time, I’m your
host, Lemmy!
|
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Place |
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1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11 |
12 |
13 |
| 11. Team
Golf
(Neil/Ella) |
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| 12. Team
Princess
(Peach/Daisy) |
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| 13. Team
Mario
(Mario/Luigi) |
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| 14. Team
Cute
(Yoshi/Birdo) |
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| 15. Team
Sludge
(Petey Piranha/King Boo) |
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| 16. Team
Queen
(Wendy/Clawdia) |
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| 17. Team
Toad
(Toad/Toadette) |
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| 18. Team
Kisses
(Susan/Larry) |
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| 19. Team
Ape
(DK/Diddy) |
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| 10. Team Cheat
(Wario/Waluigi) |
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| 11. Team Koopa
(Bowser/Jr) |
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| 12. Team Bean
(Cackletta/Fawful) |
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suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email
me!
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