Chapter 9: Juggernaut
Luigi dashed back out of the collapsing jailhouse, followed by Mallow, Geno, and Johnny. They encountered several guards on their way, but they were too preoccupied with escaping the doomed prison to capture escapees. Finally, the main exit came into view. Luigi grinned tightly as he sped up. Of course, fate decided that it didn’t like him. When Luigi was ten steps away from the exit, the building came crashing down on them. Chunks of iron plates falling were the last things Luigi saw.
~~~
Popple sat back and watched as the Beanbean Prison came smashing down. Sure that no one could have survived tons upon tons of shredded, possibly electrically-charged steel raining down on them, he got up to go berate Rookie, since it was (in Popple’s mind) his fault that the prison was destroyed. The normally quiet Kirk had to stop him, however. “Uh… hey, Boss? That stupid cloaked ^$%^& is running towards that desert-looking place with the relic.”
Popple forgot about Rookie for a second to look at the running figure. Sure enough, he did have the relic. Sure enough, he was running to Teehee Valley. He grinned and turned to the others. “Follow me… but don’t let him see you, yes?”
He ran off toward a collection of large rocks next to the entrance to the arid valley. By the time the cloaked one was nearing his destination, Popple’s party was already in position. “Wait here.”
He ran out in front of the guy and began moving his feet rapidly before charging. In a blur of speed, Popple began swiftly circling his victim, with a physically impossible grin on his face. The first order of business, of course, was the shimmering gemstone, which he got fairly quickly. After that, he quickly stuck his hands in random pockets, pulling out bags of money— lots of them, too. He also pulled out a high-powered Bill Blaster. Abruptly, he tried to run back to where the others were waiting, but tripped on a rock. He fell forward and reached out wildly, accidentally pulling off the cloak. The wide Mushroomer that had once owned Bahamut grinned down at Popple. Without warning, he darted off further into the valley. Popple got up and gestured to the others before running after the fungus. He didn’t get far before he was stopped by a group of Anuboos. He didn’t have to do anything about them, as Rob broke out of his general uselessness by smashing two of them down with his bass. The third Anuboo took advantage of a surprised Popple by turning into a direct silhouette of the bassist and charging forward. That one was stopped by a bomb blast from Rookie. Popple grinned and fired his new gun for the first time at the final two. Two gold-colored Bills launced forward. Two fiery blasts erupted, reducing the spirits to ashes (however that’s possible). The group continued forward, following the trail of footprints until they arrived at a small cave in the side of a cliff. They entered into a cavernous dome, oddly similar to the arena where Popple had fought Bahamut.
In the middle, there was a giant pile of granite, along with something that looked like big cannon. There were several fissures in the ceiling, providing light. They slowly walked to the rocks, waiting for a trap. It sort of came. The Mushroomer they had been pursuing jumped down from who-knows-where and whistled.
The rocks began shifting. Two jointed pillars formed, with what appeared to be toes attaching to them. Huge, sword-like stone slabs attached to them and connected to a long, thin cylinder. A second cylinder, this one short and wide, connected to it and got its own blades. Another pair of columns attached, these ones bent in the middle at a 90-degree angle. Several spikes shot up from the top of the thing, with the cannon smashing down on top of them. Another skinny tube connected to the other side of the fat one, followed by a large rock ball. When it was done, the beast opened up its topaz eyes and began charging up its cannon. The Mushroomer cackled insanely. “Meet my latest pet, the Juggernaut of Teehee Valley! Have fun in your last minutes of life! BWAHAHAHAHA!”
As he left and rolled a boulder in front of the exit, Popple shook his head. “Why me?”
~~~
Ludwig watched Lemmy and Iggy perform various tricks while thinking about what he should do about the scattered rebels. He wanted to launch an attack on Sarasaland, but felt uneasy about doing so because of fear of direct attack on the castle. He was preparing to have a meeting with the other Koopalings and Kamek to decide what to do. As the twins finished their act and left the stage, he began walking up the stairs to Roy’s room, ignoring the noise of the Koopalica CDs Lemmy had given Roy.
~~~
WRA-Omega sped across the great desert, looking for the artifact. He had seen a cloaked thing carrying it off in that direction and followed. He was unfortunately waylaid by some bean-like people, who had to be forced to forget that they had seen a strange yellow thing flying along. He had to simply guess that it had entered the valleys. After five minutes of searching for any sign of it, he gave up. He had just barely turned back when he heard an explosion in the side of a cliff. He looked back for a second, and then darted off to search the desert some more.
~~~
James cowered as Juggernaut slowly advanced on him. It had already displayed its firepower by blasting a giant crater into the edge of the cavern. It had also displayed its defense when one of Popple’s Magnum Bills simply glanced off its natural armor and blew up on Cliff, who was still knocked out. He yelped and ran in fright when the golem launched rapid energy bolts in his general direction. None of them came close, but they managed to punch several indentations in the wall.
He ran to Lars and Popple, who were throwing bombs. He picked one up himself and wildly chucked it. It flew right over the top of Juggernaut and nearly blasted Kirk into oblivion. He turned to Popple, who was still angrily throwing bombs. “Hey Boss, why don’t you try that random thing out of your bag attack?”
Popple glared at him briefly. “It’s too unreliable, see?”
“Okay… by the way, rock monsters are supposed to be vulnerable to water…”
It was Lars’s turn to glare at him.
“Oh, isn’t that nice to know?
Especially when we don’t have any %&^%
water!”
“Sorry, just trying to be— WOAH!”
Juggernaut had finished trying to smash Rookie and Rob into the ground and was firing at the trio. Neither Lars nor Popple felt like replying to what James was saying, preoccupied with avoiding photon blasts as they were. Kirk, Rob, and Rookie met them at a large stone near the far wall. The granite creature charged up its most powerful blast again. As soon as it was fired, the seven ran out of the way. Chunks of rock flew through the air as the energy destroyed everything within thirty feet of it, which didn’t include Popple’s group.
When the smoke cleared, they saw that a tunnel had been revealed by the shot. Desperately, they ran into it, leaving the behemoth in their dust with virtually no way to reach them. Other than blasting right through it, of course. Which it tried to do, but only succeeded in blocking the tunnel completely.
They traveled through winding passages for half an hour before coming across what seemed to be a temple. They hesitated before entering.
~~~
A bruised Luigi wearily led his group of hurt allies through the desert, following the trail of footprints left behind. They led straight to a giant boulder. Still wondering how all four of them got out of the electric, collapsed prison alive, he muttered, “Geno…”
The tired doll nodded and began storing magic. “GENO BEAM!”
A light blue beam shot out of his arm and began breaking down the boulder. Seconds later, all that was left was some rubble and a small crack, which led into a cave. They ran in to relax, but that wouldn’t happen. A giant sandstone-colored rock thing stared down at them. The cannon on its back began shaking. They ran out of the way as it fired a blast of heated energy, forcing them to scatter.
Mallow’s upper body separated from his legs as he began calling upon the forces of lightning. Several giant bolts struck the monster, but without any effect. Mallow tried to run away, but a huge arm shot out and smashed him against the wall. As the rock thing powered up its big shooting thing again, Geno stepped in front of his fallen comrade and shouted, “GENO MISSILE!” A blue-green bullet launched from his fingertip as another giant blast came his way. The energies met, and the missile blew up. The power of the ball was diminished, but it was still enough to knock Geno out and send Mallow thirty feet in the air. Luigi was also caught in the blast, as he had been running forward to assist Geno.
With three of the small team out, Juggernaut turned its attention to the shark-pirate. Johnny grinned as the beast approached. He had been powering up an attack after dodging the opening blast. As the monster began powering up the cannon once again, Johnny pointed his fin at its head. “Yar, Tsunami!”
Water materialized out of nowhere and crashed down on Juggernaut. It flailed in light of the first pain it had ever experienced as the wave carried it out to a collection as boulders. The pirate continued smirking. “Water Blast!”
Even more water struck the golem before
culminating in a powerful blast. Its head was reduced to gravel, killing
Juggernaut on the spot. The rest of its body flew across the cave, missing
everyone entirely. The boulders had also been cleared, revealing a tunnel.
Johnny went over to his fallen friends and gave them each a Pick-Me-Up.
As soon as they were also conscious again (although Mallow had become pitch
black), they headed down the tunnel until they came across a shrine. Luigi
led his group of followers into the unknown.
Chapter 10: Broken
Popple came to the door at the end of the tunnel, grinning wickedly. Just as he had guessed, there was an ancient, crumbling lever in the center of the sandstone room. He scurried up to it and pulled it. Nothing happened.
Confused he peeked out-and nearly got his head sliced off by an activated Roto-Disc. He drew back out of its range to see what was going on. Lava suddenly filled the giant canal that stretched over half of the hallway. Fire leapt from it and launched itself over the broken stone bridge, which was now providing the only way to traverse to where he was. On the other side, giant buzzsaws followed invisible paths. His allies were nowhere to be seen. Deciding to figure out where they went later, he headed back into the chamber to wait for Luigi.
~~~
Luigi entered the door at the end of the winding corridor. He had been expecting another winding passage that was all too easy to get through. He did not expect a thin, vertical freefall. He ran and jumped forward, nearly smashing into the very close wall. It took him three seconds to realize that he was headed straight at a ball and chain swiveling randomly on a stone block. He forced himself into a rapid spin and simply bounced off the top of the metal spiked ball, which still sliced a hole in his shoe.
Unfortunately, he was now headed towards a Roto-Disc, fluctuating its vivid colors rapidly. He put his feet against the wall and began to slowly slide down. He jumped off and successfully dodged the laser. He fell about thirty more feet before hitting the rock floor. His legs buckled and gave, causing him to fall to his knees. In a second, he was back up on his feet and running to the other wall, with a small platform attached to it.
Luigi jumped on to it and heard a deep laugh from above. A Thwomp was dropping down from above. He shouted “Mamamia!” and jumped up to the next platform. Another platform was near that one. Luigi checked for Thwomps and jumped up to it. The next didn’t contain any more either, but a Roto-Disc was slicing it up. He timed it right and made two jumps in quick succession, dodging the disc and getting to the platform after it. One final Thwomp-guarded platform was all that was left. Another fast series of hops and Luigi was looking down at another freefall, this one with Grinders moving in box-like fashion.
He jumped and began spinning like a demented gyroscope. He fell right past the first five before bouncing off of the sixth one. He winced in pain as the saw cut into his skin, but still concentrated on not getting cut in half or something. The next ten were avoided easily, and he hit ground again. He bopped a block above him and collected the flower that sprouted. He used it immediately and rapidly launched several balls of fire. Satisfied that he now had fire power, he jumped into a hole in the floor.
As soon as he landed, Luigi had to dodge an arrow that came right at him. He sprinted along the slowly descending walkways, dodging more arrows and jumping a badly placed lava pool. Finally, he dropped down a ten-foot ledge and clambered up some steps. He had just gripped the handle of the door at the end when Geno caught up to him and said, “Hey! Wait for us, will you?”
Luigi grinned sheepishly. “Sorry…”
After the other two caught up, they entered the door and were greeted by a Grinder heading right at them. They all jumped or ducked and continued along the extremely narrow path until they had to avoid another buzz saw. After jumping it, Luigi looked back to see if his allies were all well and good. It was lucky he did, because it turned out the first Grinder was inches away from grinding Mallow and Johnny. He shouted, “DUCK!”
They dropped to the ground while Luigi and Geno jumped over it. The two had just barely gotten back up when two pulleys came down and carried them away into a small crevice in the wall. Luigi started to look for a way to reach them, but the back wall began rocketing forward, forcing him and Geno to begin dashing to the far door. They jumped four more grinders and began crossing the remains of a stone bridge, as it collapsed from beneath their feet. Halfway across, fireballs began shooting their way, making it all that much harder. Luigi was too busy trying to reach the door to notice another pulley drag Geno off to another hole. Finally, the green-clad plumber reached the door, jumped one final Roto-Disc, and hurried in. Seconds later, the moving wall struck where he had just been, resulting in a minor earthquake and a monolithic BOOM.
Gasping for breath, he turned to the center of the room and froze. Popple was standing in front of him, grinning. Luigi forced himself to stand upright. Finally, after chasing the thief across two continents, he was about to get his artifact back.
~~~
James looked up as a Nimbian and a shark was brought into their little chamber. He squinted at them. He knew he had seen them before, but he couldn’t remember where. It then struck him. A punch in the face from Cliff, that is. “Hey James, those are two of the ^%^&*^% that were with Luigi, right?”
“Yeah… Let’s give Boss a hand.”
James, Kirk, Rob and Cliff rose as one and proceeded to simultaneously bash Mallow over the head, knocking him out again. James grinned. “Okay, that worked welARRGH!”
The shark had hit him from behind with his Mega-Drain attack, silencing him. James dropped to the ground and made a rude gesture in Johnny’s direction. The other four members of the band raced towards the pirate captain. Johnny grinned and pointed his fin at the ceiling. “Yar, Waterspout!”
A tornado made of water formed and spun all five of them around several times before hurling them against the walls. Now both in pain and feeling rather sick, James slowly stood up and prepared to bash the daylights out of the cocky fish in front of him.
~~~
Rookie darted behind a confused Geno and tried to take whatever he could. His inexperience cost him as Geno whipped around and fired his fist at the Sackit’s face. Rookie fell back and threw a bomb at the doll. The explosive was blown up in the middle of its fight by machine gun fire from the heavenly spirit’s fingertips. Geno followed up the rapid shots with a magic blast. “GENO FLASH!”
His body began warping in shape until it was a cannon. It fired a blast of solar energy, which expanded for several seconds before going nuclear. Rookie’s fast, weak body couldn’t take damage like that. It was carried straight into the wall, where he fell to the ground, charred and bruised. Geno grabbed Rookie's bag and stuffed him into it. He grabbed onto the rope and pushed off, heading back to the tunnel he had been carried away from.
~~~
Kirk smashed Johnny from behind, sending the captain careening into the wall. The shark snarled and retaliated with another Mega-Drain. Lars prevented it from hitting by chucking his nearly impenetrable shell in front of it. James and Cliff followed it and pounded Johnny with their guitars. He fell almost straight down, but managed to poke at James with his trident. The spear stuck into his shell. He simply growled and pulled it out, blood slowly streaming down from the three holes. He brought it over his knee and snapped it in half. Johnny took advantage of James’s distraction and blasted a blizzard his way. The sudden icy gust blew him and the other four off their feet. Before the front man could recover, two blades of crystalline ice zoomed at him. They shattered upon impact, showering him with shrapnel and knocking him out.
Not one to waste any time, Johnny powered up another attack while the band checked on their leader. By the time they were done, the captain’s attack was ready. “I’ll be quick with ye, dogs. TORRENT!”
A second cyclone of water, this one horizontal, fired at them. Seconds later, the chamber was flooded and they were sucked down by a massive whirlpool. Upon hitting the floor, the eddy reversed direction and launched them into the air. By the time Koopalica was plummeting, the water had already drained away. The attack succeeded in knocking all but one out.
A bruised, breathless Rob stood up and threw his weapon of choice at the gloating pirate. The destroyed bass struck Johnny right in between the eyes, causing him to lose consciousness. He tied all five of them up with a rope he had been randomly carrying in his overlarge shell before letting the pulley take him back to the main tunnel.
~~~
Luigi dodged another Popple-made bomb chucked at him. That one was preceded by about ten more and followed by about another fifteen. Popple was nearly twitching with spastic anger at the nimble plumber who kept on dodging his projectiles. The said plumber decided to attack and went with a nice, quick bop on the head, followed by a powerful Thunderhand. The thief retaliated the way a thief would: sneaking behind Luigi as fast as possible and stealing his hammer. Oh, and he also stabbed the green one in the back with his knife.
Luigi fell forward in sheer pain, but recovered via Ultra Mushroom. He resumed dodging Popple's explosive spheres. The brigand came forward and tried to hit him on the head with the mallet, but was stopped by a fireball. Luigi grinned and snatched back his hammer before pounding Popple on the head with it. Popple leapt back and opened up his bag. "RANDOM MULTIPLE OBJECTS! DIE!"
At first, only two coins and a Super Mushroom bounced out of the bag. Popple snarled and shook the sack. Two more coins, another Mushroom, another coin, a fireball, a Banzai Bill, a spiked Koopa shell, three more coins, a Poison Mushroom, a Cape Feather, Morton Koopa, another Super Mushroom, and a flurry of about thirty Bullet Bills followed the first three items. Luigi got all of the good stuff, and dodged the fireball, Banzai Bill, shell, Koopaling, and three of the Bullet Bills. By the end of the attack, he was poisoned and nearly blasted into nothingness. Just to prove his intoxication, a white "32" suddenly appeared by his head. He ignored it and dove after the fleeing Popple. He grabbed the bag and released most of the contents, knife and every single bomb included.
Popple gaped as his entire arsenal went BOOM before his eyes, but quickly turned and prepared to fight hand-to-hand with Luigi. Luckily for him, he remembered what else was in the sack. Grinning wildly like he always does when something fairly good happens, he pulled out his Bill Blaster and proceeded to fire a Magnum Bill straight forward. Luigi sidestepped it (19) and saw it blast a hole threw the wall, revealing the deadly tunnel. Popple laughed and fired three more, with his heroic foe dodging each one (14, 24, 21). Luigi darted forward and hit the gun from the top just as Popple fired. The Magnum was launched straight down and succeeded in not only in blackening the two brawlers, but also blowing the floor into smithereens. They fell through, with Popple landing on top of some sort of ancient, demonic-looking bell. Luigi landed on a POW switch a few feet from the bell, activating it.
The earth below him rumbled as a tower began sliding up from the ground. It broke through first the original battleground and then the roof of the cave. Finally, it came to a halt with the bell just over a hundred feet above ground. Popple groaned, slid off the bell, and pointed his gun at Luigi again. The plumber responded by jumping to his feet and getting into a cheesy fighting stance, resulting in a white "29" appearing above his head.
~~~
A squad of Koopa-flown fighter planes screamed over Birobuto, firing several of the new Banzai Missiles at a single building. Several Sarasi missiles launched in response and tried to save the building. BOOM! Didn't work.
The pilot of one of the jets grinned before flipping back around to reload at the nearest doomship. It was the last thing he ever did. A Sarasi ace zipped up behind and killed him with a quick burst from the attached rapid-fire cannon. The rest of the squad scattered, but quickly met the same fate of their wingman.
Lemmy sighed. Weakened as they may have been, the Sarasi still might have been a match for the great Koopa Air Force... and the great Koopa Army... oh, and the navy as well. It was the second day of battle, and they were still trying to get past those darn shoreline cities. It was taking too long.
He gave in to his impatience, just as both Roy and Wendy had already done. He turned to a nearby Rocky Wrench and ordered, "Deploy our not-so-secret-anymore weapon."
"YES, SIR!"
As Lemmy rode off grumbling about overly excited idiots, a flight of sleek, metallic fighters zoomed out of the Jester’s bay and towards the nearby city of Sila. The doomship, along with its sisters, was simply playing stay-away from the multiple doomships trying to get close enough to fire on them. It was those ships that were keeping the Koopas from victory. Lemmy groaned again and went back to his quarters to plan what to do about their slight problem.
~~~
Omega rapidly sped towards the newly risen tower in the distance, anxious to finally accomplish this stupid mission. He didn’t know how, but he could just tell that Luigi was on top of it. Soon, the artifact would be broken... but then what? His master hadn't told him what was to happen after that. Ah well. He figured that his master already had an idea of what would happen.
~~~
45.
Another number popped up from the pale plumber as he dodged another Bill. A fireblast was emitted as the explosive bullet hit the ceramic behind him. Luigi gritted his teeth as the poison continued to take its toll on him. He launched two fireballs at the thief in front of him (11). They struck and blew up a Magnum Bill that was still in the blaster. It exploded, destroying the gun and sending Popple several feet back and off the side of the tower.
Actually, it would have, if he hadn't grabbed onto the edge at the last second. Not wanting to break the artifact that Popple was still carrying, Luigi ran up to him and pulled him up. He then nonchalantly threw Popple behind him like a rag doll. The bandit stood up and opened his nearly empty bag. "HEHEHE! YOU DIE NOW! RANDOM MULTIPLE OBJECTS!"
Despite the fact that the bag only held a certain bright red rock, several objects came out of the bag. Luigi collected the four coins, swallowed the antidote, got smacked by the dolphin, the car tire, and the book that had fangs for some reason, grabbed the Mushroom, dodged the poisonous toadstool, and nearly got knocked off the edge by the Blue Falcon.
As Luigi got up from the side, Popple continued to grin at the sack expectantly. He was concentrating on it so hard that he didn't notice the plumber calmly stroll up to him. He did notice it when he pulled out his hammer. Just before the blow struck, Popple made one last attempt to defeat his adversary by kicking him in the face with all of his minimal strength.
The attacks hit at the same time and launched both back, while the treasure flew into the air and landed closer to Luigi. The both ran to it at top speed and grabbed either end at the same time. As he and Luigi began pulling, Popple screamed, "IT'S MINE, SEE?"
They were vaguely aware of their allies coming up from the middle of the tower and sitting back to watch. Luigi glared at Popple and pulled harder while the latter did the same. With a resounding CRACK, the artifact snapped in two. Fiery orange smoke billowed out of either end.
The Emperor Wraith arrived just as the artifact was broken. He stared in shock for a second before keying in for his master.
~~~
Elias was mildly surprised when his com went off. He picked it up, turned it on, and said, "Yes?"
WRA-Omega's hysterical voice was easily recognizable. "SIR ELIAS! THEY BROKE IT! THEY... THEY WERE-"
"SHUT UP!" Elias roared while holding the com at arm's length.
"... Okay..."
His master swept over and grabbed the com furiously. "GET OVER HERE NOW! YOU BETTER BE BACK IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES!!!"
The poor Wraith ruler could only think
of one thing to say. "... Yes, Master..."
Chapter 11: Star Road
Popple watched as the red-orange steam dissipated in the air. He had no clue what it was, but figured that it couldn't be good. He looked over at Luigi. The plumber was shell-shocked at the breaking of his artifact. Finally, the shocked thief looked at the newcomers. He noted one particular member of the group. “Hey, doll-thing from the air… you can tell us what that was, yes?”
Geno nodded. “Yes. That was a stone that Mario found in the Smithy Factory before I left.”
Popple was slightly confused. “Smithy Factory?”
Geno sighed. It looked like he was going to have to explain a lot. “Hey, Mallow? Help me fill them in.”
~~~
The majestic, space-traveling warship Hammerhead sped right into the asteroid at what was probably the center of the gas cloud. The giant ship shook violently from the impact before a vividly colored, rapidly swirling vortex appeared out of nowhere. It pulled the Hammerhead in and began taking it to the Star Road.
Elias would have grinned at the sight of stupid Wraiths being sucked into oblivion if he was not so close to joining them. Fighting the powerful gravitation of their passage, he peered around at his “comrades”. None of the Wraiths seemed to notice they were being yanked off to another dimension, until, of course, they went flying through time and space into death. The emperor was clutching a pole as if his life depended on it (well, actually it did). In truth, h had wrapped his body around it, cowering and sobbing over his most recent failure. His master, however, was standing calmly in all of his orange-gold glory, as if he had made this trip several times before. For some reason, his calmness aggravated Elias to no end. His anger abruptly dissolved when he realized something: the high-speed travel was just about to force him to re-experience his lunch. “Ah, %#$%…”
~~~
Princess Daisy cowered in a small corner of a small hut near where the destroyed castle once was. The Koopa military had finally pummeled the once-formidable, maybe even invincible, Sarasi army. Most of Sarasaland was burnt to the ground. The dead were piling up everywhere. Airships that could have destroyed the Koopa doomships had been efficiently captured and used to aid in the widespread devastation. And Ludwig kept on pestering her to surrender in his stupid, annoying accent.
She slowly stood up and watched as another Banzai Missile blasted another building, sending bits of wood and metal flying through the air, along with the occupants… and their limbs. She turned away as one of them smacked right into the window she was peering through. She quickly looked back through the red-stained glass. All around, the bombers were efficiently destroying random buildings at their leisure, adding to the massacre…
“Princess Daisy, zis is your last chance. Surrender, or our bombers vill nuke your hidey-hole.”
She looked out the window one last time. Looking at her kingdom, she realized that there was no other choice. In despair, she went over to the mike and distraughtly muttered, “King Ludwig… stop your bombings. I’m willing to *sob* negotiate…”
Someone from the other end shouted, “YAHOOIE!”, which was followed by the Koopa King shouting, “Quiet, you!”
Several minutes later, two burly Hammer Bros burst in and roughly escorted her onto a small shuttle to take her up to the monster behind the attack.
~~~
Smithy ignored the spasms his semi-physical body went through as it prepared for the journey back down to Plit. In a few short minutes, a wormhole would open up and carry him and the rest of the Gang back to the planet in a gut-wrenching way that would probably somehow end up in Yaridovich’s sharp point nearly poking his eye out or something like that…
Or a rather familiar ship could show up and fly them in a much more comfortable way back to Plit. Gee, which one was preferable, he wondered.
The overly large warship approached and landed, prompting a ramp to extend from the belly. A figure that resembled the Grim Reaper and a yellow creature came out of it and moved forward until they were right in front of the Gang. Another figure strode after them. It was a tall humanoid covered in shiny golden-orange metal armor, with spikes jutting out at the joints and shoulders. He protected his head with a similarly-colored plated helmet, with three spikes poking out of the top, a single plate that served as a mask, and a red visor. A long cape hung loosely behind him, having no wind to blow it around.
The orange newcomer stood in between his two cohorts. He raised his arm in front of him and muttered something inaudible. White-blue sparks flew from each member of the Gang, slowly restoring them to their living forms. He nodded to Smithy and said, “I trust you’ve been enjoying your afterlife.”
Smithy blinked several times. “Cr-Creator Jiyin?! You’re alive?”
Jiyin smiled behind his mask plate. “Yes… yes, I am.”
One member of the Gang rudely stepped in between them. His yellow and red body was shaped like a longbow, complete with a nearly invisible string attaching the end of his spiky, fiery red hair. His eyes seemed unfocused, his diamond-shaped nose seemed metallic, and his legs seemed too short. As if his strange appearance wasn’t enough, his manner of speaking confirmed that he was probably the weirdest of the group. “Nyansense! Killed you were, when broke through the Star Road we did!”
“No, Bowyer. I wasn’t killed. I simply left in a shuttle right as we smashed through this place.”
In addition to Bowyer and Smithy, several other members of the Smithy Gang stepped forward as one. One was a tall, wiry spear-wielder with a long red cape. The second, a sword-like creature with eyes floating in front of its midsection, had a red head-like top, and springs below the eyes, making it like a pogo stick. The last five were of the same short body structure, though of different color. The heads were elongated spheres with a single spike on top, and the lower bodies were simply balls with arms and legs. An extremely short silver tube connected the two halves, and each one carried an axe in his or her hands. The wiry one said, “… Why?”
“I will explain why later, Yaridovich. Right now, there are some… objects that we must obtain before we leave this dimension.”
The Smithy Gang looked uncertain about this, but they didn’t protest. There wasn’t anything they could try to do about it anyway.
~~~
Princess Daisy of the soon-to-be-nonexistent land of Sarasaland read through the surrender terms that the overly civil and proper Koopa had handed her. And she read it again. And, for good measure, she read it three more times. Finally, she looked at Ludwig and exploded. “ARE YOU MAD?!”
Ludwig’s smug grin disappeared at the outburst. He looked confused. “Are you saying zat our terms are unsatisfactory?”
“Yes!”
“I could have sworn zat I told him to make zem fair… Read zem off zen, please…”
Daisy didn’t really believe that Ludwig had tried to be fair. But she still cleared her throat and began to read. “All Sarasi officers and nobility are to face immediate execution, with the exception of Princess D… er, me. All military equipment will be placed into ownership of the Koopa Empire. All civilians will be fully enslaved and face the chance of random execution.”
While she had been reading off the document, Ludwig’s confused expression had slipped into surprise, followed by horror and then anger. “Just a second…”
He picked up a com and keyed in for someone. Seconds later, a voice that sounded like its owner thought he was tough answered. “Yeah, whaddya want?”
“To question you about the treaty, Roy.’
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Don’t you zink zat zose terms vere a bit… extreme?”
“’Course not!”
“Okay, just checking.”
He shut off the com and faced Daisy again. “Vell my idiotic brother seems to zink zat zose terms vere reasonable. Ah vell. I’ll go quickly type up another surrender form… vith improved terms, of course.”
~~~
“…exploded, whereupon I returned to the Star Road. Thanks for your help, Mallow.”
“No problem”, the often forgotten about Nimbian replied with a wide grin.
Popple just stared at Geno. “Okay… so if the other artifact is broken, the Smithy Gang will be revived, yes?”
“Yeah.”
Popple nodded, glad that he had been attentive enough to understand something from the amazingly boring story. “So, all we have to do is make sure that the other artifact isn’t broken, yes?”
“Yes.”
“And you know exactly where the other one is, yes?”
“No.”
“Well, darn it. So we go find it, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Alright, gotcha.” After clarifying the plans and deciding he was going to go with them, Popple began searching for a way off the tower.
Luigi, who hadn’t really been paying much attention, asked Geno a question that had been burning at him since he had learned of Mario’s death. “Geno… why didn’t you come down in time to save my br— Mario?”
Geno looked solemn. “I’m guessing that you believe that there are only good Star Spirits in the Star Road?”
“Uh… yes…”
“Well, unfortunately there aren’t. All living things on Plit go to the Star Road when they die— evil beings included. The evil, however, go to a section called Hades. They are to be-“
A suddenly interested Popple interjected, “Just get on with it!”
“Whatever. Anyways, at the creation of Plit, the original two Star Spirits were created to bring about a balance of good and evil amongst the inhabitants of the planet. I, one of them, was to protect Plit from evil. The other one, whose name in your language would translate most closely to ‘Sin’, was to prevent good from ever prevailing, always having beings rise up to oppose light. Why that was, I have no clue.
“Because of certain barriers, neither of us would be able to directly influence anything on Plit. We prevented each other from coming down to interfere. However, there is one instance in which we could.
“If the balance of good and evil became unbalanced, then one of us could go down to retain balance until another hero or villain rises. For example, Bowser was the main evil until recently, with Mario as the main good. They were evenly matched, which provided a balance. If Bowser killed Mario, Plit wouldn’t have a hero to defend it. Therefore, I would be able to come down. However, if Mario killed Bowser, then Sin would be able to come down and wreak havoc, as there wouldn’t be a villain to contest good. Smithy had been too powerful for Mario and his party to defeat, which is why I had been able to come down and aid them. Apparently, Mario was an equal match for Elias-“
“Who’s that?” Popple once again decided to interrupt rudely.
“The guy that killed Mario. Anyway, since Elias and Mario were (somehow) considered equal in strength, I wasn’t able to come down until Mario was defeated. When I did come down, I temporarily gained a short boost of power, which I can’t explain. That boost gave me enough power to defeat Elias and obliterate the creatures attacking Mushroom Kingdom-“
‘Hey, Rookie J and K… and L! Are you guys listening?” Popple glared at the three Koopas. James looked away from his poker hand and grinned. “Yeah, of course we are!”
Popple continued his death-glare while all that weren’t remotely involved sat back to watch the proceedings. “Okay, Rookie-L, then what is the dark Star Spirit’s name?”
Kirk leaned over and whispered something into Lars’s ear, only to be smacked in the face. The drummer decided to ignore what Kirk had told him and come up with his own answer. “Uh… Shadow?”
“No, it’s Sin!”
James chucked a loose brick at the thief. “Who cares?! Continue your story, Geno.”
“Actually, I’m finished.”
Popple brightened again. “Okay then. Rookies! We will aid Geno by forming a band of thieves to find the artifact, yes?”
James grinned widely. “Nope.”
A shocked silence came over the group. Popple, moving as few muscles as possible, stared at him. “N-no?”
Cliff stood up and began wandering around randomly. “You see, Popple, when we joined you, we did it under the impression that this wouldn’t be too dangerous. With the whole Smithy Band thing, that has changed. Also, last time I checked, we were an internationally famous thrash metal band. We have decided that we should continue to be one. Musicians usually don’t go off on suicidal quests that they don’t particularly care about. And finally, we’re sick of you bossing us around all the time.”
Popple was beyond shocked. “But-but…”
James’s taunting grin widened even further. ‘In other words… SEE YA, BOSS! Er, when we get down from here, that is…”
As if on cue, Rob sat down on top of a switch, triggering a staircase leading all the way down to magically appear. James brightened again. “Time to get back to the Dark Lands. Later!”
With that, all five members of Koopalica dashed down the stairs. A suddenly irate Popple yelled after them. “Hey! GET BACK HERE YOU TRAITOROUS SCUMBAGS!”
He was answered by Rob’s low voice calling back, “Since when did thieves have the right to call others ‘scumbags’?”
Forcing himself to cool down, Popple decided to ignore the fleeing turtles and turned to Luigi. “So, I guess we should go find the artifact, yes?”
As if his voice was a trigger, the stairs retracted back into the tower, which resulted in girlish screaming coming from further down the tower. The switch also conveniently remained pushed in. Popple froze, spazzed for a few seconds, and then both him and Johnny let loose with every swear word they knew, for no real reason on the shark captain’s part. Mallow quickly got sick of Popple’s ranting. “Hey! Be quiet!”
“-&*&^&*@ stairs that can’t-“
“Argh… SHOCKER!”
KRAKOOM-BZZZZZAAAAP!
“Okay, I’m over it now, see? (Ow…)”
~~~
Elias, still sick and pale from the latest incident not in his favor, trailed behind Jiyin calmly, ignoring the Smithy Gang, until Mack, the one like a pogo stick, decided to comment on him and the still-sobbing Wraith. “Master, I must say, you seem to have chosen the two least bounciest things in the universe to be your woefully inadequate followers.”
His master didn’t comment, but Elias sure did. “Well at least we aren’t a bunch of weirdoes like others present…”
Mack stopped, angry at the last few words to come out of the reaper’s unseen mouth. “It doesn’t matter if we’re… er, different. We’re still the one’s bouncing higher than you lowly failures.”
“Who cares about bouncing? Don’t forget, I’m the one with the death scythe and enormous amounts of untapped magical ability.”
“Yeah, and you’re also the one who couldn’t even bounce high enough to conquer Plit!”
“And you guys did much better?”
“I’m getting tired of this. How’s about we duke it out right now? That way, I can prove to you that I’m the bouncier one.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Yeah!”
“Okay, bring it!”
Omega attempted to intervene. “Hey, guys! You are kind of on the same side, you know!”
Jiyin overruled him. “Shut up, Omega. Mack and Elias, continue.”
Mack would have grinned at the dark, angry form in front of him if he could. “FIRESTREAM!”
A bolt of intense heat launched at Elias. The phantom grinned and dissipated into to tiny, dark purple globules, letting the fire bolt rush past. He reformed, hovering in the sky, camouflaged by the starless, pitch-black sky of the Star Road. Still on the cloudy, fogged periwinkle surface of the heavenly… place, Mack looked around wildly. “W-where did he bounce off to?”
The specter grinned. In a few short seconds, his target would be in sheer agony… just savor this a little longer…
“PLASMA SKY!”
The sky wasn’t so black anymore. Elias shrieked in pain as the white-hot fire spread across the sky, charring every inch of him. He fell to the ground, coughing up what passed for blood for him. Still in agony, he stood up and pointed his scythe at the bouncing gloater. “Grr… FLARE!”
It was his turn to gloat as fire concentrated around Mack’s thin body before exploding. The bouncing freak remained motionless. Elias lowered his scythe. “Maybe I should have mentioned that I was the one who killed Mario?”
He was answered by a sharp poke to the base of his skull. Elias screamed his pain as he whipped around to face Yaridovich. He ignored his pain as he readied his scythe for combat. “So, you want some, too, eh?”
The spindly warrior nodded. “Maybe I’ll get some brownie points by beating you.”
“Are you sure about that? Maybe you just need some DARKBURST!”
Yaridovich was caught by surprise by the sudden appearance of a black sphere. “What are you trying to pull…?”
To which Elias replied, “DIE!”
The sphere began spinning around rapidly, becoming a sort of mini black hole. Yaridovich planted his spear in the soft ground while being sucked into the vortex. His mind grew fuzzy from the intense gravity… his left iron hand slipped off… the spear began to yank itself out of the ground… ”SUNBEAM!”
A blinding yellow ray of light sizzled through the Dark Burst. Upon the sudden decrease in gravity, Yaridovich fell flat on his steel face. He heard the monster’s voice behind him. “Master! Why did you do th- AGGGGGH!”
“Shut up, Elias. You know full well that that would have killed Yaridovich.”
“… Ow… Sorry for my rudeness, Master.”
“Whatever, Elias. Help Yaridovich up.”
Yaridovich quickly wished Elias hadn’t been given that order. His method of helping the warrior up involved sticking the point of his scythe into Yaridovich’s amazingly thin back. Thankfully, he earned himself more punishment. “ICEBOLT!”
The reaper was frozen completely solid. Jiyin turned to Bowyer. “You and Yaridovich. Carry Elias and Mack.”
The psychotic one grinned. “Nya, got the idiot you do. Carry Mack, I will, nya!”
“… Whatever.”
And so the motley crew trudged on for several more hours, during which Mack woke up and Elias thawed and began complaining of being mistreated, until Jiyin launched another ice bolt at his feet, that is. Finally they arrived at their destination. It was a small temple in the middle of the monolithic Star Road plains, normally almost impossible to locate, even for the deceased denizens of the plains. They got right up to the entrance before Jiyin halted abruptly. He turned to them and said, “Elias, Omega, and Smithy, come with me. The rest of you, stay here.”
The unlucky ones began complaining, but Jiyin just ignored them. He led the other three through the winding maze of the temple while talking. “This temple is the portal between the good part of Star Road, Halo, and the evil part of Star Road, Hades. It is also home to immensely powerful weaponry. It is scattered all throughout the shrine, ripe for the taking. We could always take some of that, but the absolute strongest weapons ever forged are also here. That’s what we want.”
Elias didn’t like it, for some stupid reason. “Why do we need new weapons?”
“You’ll see why I want them.”
Five minutes later, they went through a secret passage into a room made of pure platinum. Four altars were strewn throughout the chamber. Atop each pedestal was a weapon. The four weapons were a giant sickly-white hammer, a scythe blacker than Elias’s, an ugly brown bow, and a blood red great-sword, over seven feet in length and three feet in width. Jiyin turned to the others. “Smithy, you’re first.”
The two of them walked up to the hammer. Jiyin began speaking. “Smithy, this hammer is the legendary Luna Hammer. It was forged on Plit, and grants its owner the power to bring about widespread pestilence at will. Smithy, do you accept this weapon of power?”
Smithy’s eyes were as round as coins. “Of course I do!”
“Then wait here. Omega, you’re next.”
The Wraith followed his master over to the bow. “Emperor Wraith, this bow is the legendary Diablos Bow. It was crafted on the Wraith home world, and grants its owner the power to spread famine across the land at will. Omega, do you accept this weapon of power?”
“… Yes, Master…”
“Good, wait for a while. Elias, ready?”
“Yes.”
The fearsome duo strode over to the scythe. “Elias, this scythe is the legendary Thanatos. It was forged in the depths of Hades, and grants its owner the power to spread death at will. Elias, do you accept this weapon of power?”
“I accept.”
“Good, wait.”
Alone, Jiyin made his way to the sword. “My friends, this sword is the legendary Zantetsuken. It was forged in Halo, and cast away by its makers as an abomination. It grants its owner the power to force war between nations and to conquer. I, Jiyin, accept this weapon of power. All of you, lift your new weapons as one, and enter the realm of invincibility!”
All four weapons were lifted at the same time. The barriers between Halo and Hades broke, releasing bloodthirsty spirits into the peaceful realm. The dimension that contained Star Road collapsed, causing the heavens to begin to merge with Plit’s only moon. Wish stars from the Road spread far and wide until there were no more. The weapons of the beasts known as the four horsemen were to be wielded once again. Not even Plit’s heavenly guardian could stop the forces of evil now.