From Castle Koopa's throne room...
Bowser: I am King Bowser Koopa, King
of the Koopas. As you know by now, I have failed miserably over the years in trying to capture Peach, defeat
Mario, and take over the Mushroom Kingdom. Some people blame it on my stupidity, others say it's because
Mario's too powerful. Actually, the real problem is that I've never had
a partner in crime smart, powerful, and deceptive enough to be able to
figure out a way to beat Mario. My children are too stupid, and Wart? The
name says it all. In recent years, I've gotten desperate enough to join
forces with Mario and play sports with him, but I've finally figured out
a strategy to defeat Mario. I've joined forces with Crazy Packers Fan.
No, he's not my apprentice, but he says that if I entice 12 minions from
across the last 20 years or so to attempt to become my apprentice by offering
a large salary, I will find the minion who will be able to do what I have
not been able to do, which is capture Peach for good, defeat Mario for
good, and take over the Mushroom Kingdom for good. For some reason he has all sorts of cameras all over the place, and I don't know-
Crazy Packers Fan: Cut! Cut! You idiot! This is a reality show! You don't give away the fact that I'm doing this as a way to make money by getting high Plit TV ratings! Now continue with the explanation, and don't say anything about me running the show! I'm supposed to be retired, you know!
Roy: Your retirement didn't last a month! What happened to Colette?
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, no talk about Colette. and you're not supposed to be here yet! Get out of here! Now, action!
Bowser: Anyway, there will be 12 minions competing as two teams in challenges that prove their cunning and sly abilities, as well as their power and smarts. The team that does better in whatever challenge I choose will receive some useless reward that is probably more of a punishment than anything else, while the team that loses the challenge must visit me in this throne room. There a few of the members will be chosen by the changing-by-episode team leader to have a different private meeting in the throne room, where I will throw one of them into the dungeon for a year, the one I feel messed up the worst. However, they do not know about their potential trip to the dungeon yet, as I will just say "You're fired" and send the loser with Roy away from the rest, who will lead the loser to their inglorious fate. I get giddy just thinking about it. Eventually, the two teams will be combined, and the players will start competing individually, until we get down to only two players, where I will hire the best remaining minion, and "fire" the remaining one to the dungeon. Ooh, fun! Now, to meet our competitors, each from a different Mario game.
Super Mario Bros: Koopa Troopa
Super Mario Bros. 2: Panser
Super Mario Bros. 3: Fire Brother... a certain idiotic one named Fiery.
Super Mario Land: Chibobo
Super Mario World: Sumo Brother
Super Mario RPG: Croco... maybe he's not a minion, but so what?
Yoshi's Island: Tap Tap the Red Nose
Super Mario 64: Whomp
Paper Mario: Tubba Blubba
Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga: Fawful... and maybe he's not a minion either, but so many people like him, so he's got to be pretty good.
Luigi's Mansion: King Boo
Super Mario *beep*: Petey Piranha... what was that beep?
Crazy Packers Fan: Cut! Never ask me questions in the middle of taping, you idiot! Besides, you know why I put that beep in there!
Bowser: All I said was Super Mario *beep*!
Crazy Packers Fan: Exactly. The name of that game will not be mentioned here, as I'm trying to erase it from my memory.
Bowser: So am I. I was way too weak in the final battle.
Crazy Packers Fan: That's what they tell me. Now get back to reading the list!
Bowser: That IS the list!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh... right. Well, anyway, finish telling people about the competition. Action!
Bowser: These 12 players will start competition shortly, on the following teams:
Old-School Obtuse Ones
New-School Nonsensical Novices
Bowser: These idiots will be judged by my smart, brilliant, always-thinking assistants Roy and Larry, who will be my eyes and ears, or my teeth and spikes. I of course will have the final say in "firing" whoever I want, since it's my show and I'm arrogant and it's all about me anyway, but unlike that other reality show with a similar name, I'll actually "fire" the one who deserves to be "fired" according to his performance, not the one who gets on my nerves five seconds before I make my decision. Each episode's competition will usually be over the course of 24 hours, though there may be some exceptions, depending on what the competition is. The players should be here within a few minutes, so let's take a short commercial break and then get to the competition!
As a Mario Tennis commercial is on the air, Crazy Packers Fan starts to chew out Bowser.
Crazy Packers Fan: I'm paying you a lot of coins to do this for me, and I'm going to get you an apprentice that will get you a lot more than just coins, but you don't have the nerve to act reasonable on the air and use your brains! Don't give away to the fans that you're over-arrogant, and don't go insulting the other show that gave me the idea for this one!
Bowser: I can't help it! This is the way I am! Besides, you basically do the same thing when you're the host!
Crazy Packers Fan: Uh... uh... yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah... just keep doing what you're doing, then. Anyway, just make sure that you don't give away any surprises to the players when they arrive here shortly.
After a Mario Party 6 commercial, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door commercial, and Mario Pinball Land commercial, Crazy Packers Fan starts to get worried, as the players have not yet arrived and the currently-airing Dr. Mario NES Classic for GBA commercial is the final one of the commercial break.
Crazy Packers Fan: Where are they? They're supposed to come out of those warp pipes over there.
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh no.
Roy: I think I turned off the warp pipes to the castle.
Crazy Packers Fan: Why?
Roy: I was being chased by Mario, as he was mad about my beating him in that last football game.
Crazy Packers Fan: So let me guess. You turned off all the warp pipes to the castle, and now those players are sitting on top of them, trying to go down them, but they can't, thanks to your stupidity.
Roy: It's not my fault!
Crazy Packers Fan: It never is. Go turn them on!
As Roy goes to turn them on, the commercial break is just about to end.
Crazy Packers Fan: Quick, get another commercial on!
Stupid Cameraman: We don't have any others!
Crazy Packers Fan: Bowser, can you improvise?
Bowser: But I-
Crazy Packers Fan: You're getting paid one million coins for this!
Bowser: Oh, all right!
As the last commercial ends, the camera goes to Bowser, who starts dancing around, looking like a complete idiot.
Roy: They're here!
The players walk in, seeing Bowser dancing like an idiot, and start laughing at him.
Tubba Blubba: I thought this was going to be hard!
Koopa Troopa: This will be a cinch!
Chibobo: I thought this Bowser character was a powerful guy... he's a pushover!
Bowser: That's it! You're all fired!
Bowser sees Crazy Packers Fan making desperate motions off-camera.
Bowser: No... uh... I was only joking, of course! You 12 characters are here with hopes of becoming my apprentice, but it's not going to be easy. You're going to have to impress me with your smarts, skills, stamina, and strength. You've already been notified of your teams, so stand with your teammates.
The two teams line up accordingly.
Bowser: Okay, the first challenge will be one of the simplest. Over the course of the next 12 hours, you will simply try to bring to me more coins than your opposition, with the Old-School Obtuse Ones working in Desert Land, and the New-School Nonsensical Novices working in Grass Land. If that means stealing from poor, helpless Toads, fine. If that means starting your own temporary business, go right ahead. Whatever you need to do to bring coins to me, do it, but any of you caught keeping coins for yourselves will not only be fired automatically but also lose all the coins that you were trying to keep, as the cameras will catch you, and Roy will beat you up for them. The winning team receives a reward I will describe later, while the losing team will have to send a few members to a special meeting, where I will fire one of those players. Now, this episode's team leaders will be... for the Old-School Obtuse Ones, Panser, and for the New-School Nonsensical Novices, Tubba Blubba! Keep in mind, if you are the team leader and your team wins, you will be immune from going to the special meeting the following episode. Does this make sense?
Tubba Blubba: Mostly. But can you steal from your opponents' coins?
Bowser: I should have mentioned that. You cannot do that. If so, then the other team could do all the work but have all their coins stolen by you, which would be unfair. And you may not leave the land that you are sent to. Practically anything else goes, though, and I expect some really interesting ideas out of your teams. Roy will keep an eye on the Old-School Obtuse Ones, while Larry will watch the New-School Nonsensical Novices, getting all sorts of information that will help me criticize you guys when you come back here. Now get going! What are you waiting for?
The two teams exit out different warp pipes, with the Old-School Obtuse Ones and Roy going to Desert Land, while the New-School Nonsensical Novices and Larry going to Grass Land.
Old-School Obtuse Ones
Panser: I have a killer idea that will win for sure.
Fiery: Oh no. We've lost now.
Panser: Hey, you're going to have to listen to me, as I'm the team leader!
Fiery: This is my home!
Panser: I don't care! We're doing it my way!
Fiery: Fine, but it will be your fault if we lose!
Panser: We won't lose, so that won't be a problem! Anyway, one of the biggest moneymaking businesses is a casino, and I think that's what we should make.
Koopa Troopa: With what money?
Chibobo: And with what materials?
Panser: We go to that pyramid with the level inside and kick out the Buzzy Beetles and Piranha Plants in there, then turn it into a casino. Some of us will work there, others will promote it.
Sumo: But we don't have any casino games or anything like that! You're just thinking we can create a casino out of sand, pipes, and bricks! We're going to just create a mess!
Croco: Fi-re Pan-ser! Fi-re Pan-ser!
Panser: Wait, wait, wait! Before you give up on me, let's first go find Morton and see how he could help us. I guarantee this will work!
New-School Nonsensical Novices
Petey Piranha: So, what brilliant ideas do you have for us?
Tubba Blubba: Well, I figure that we're so tough, we can just bully around these Goombas and Troopas here in Grass Land and force them to give us their coins!
King Boo: What a great idea!
Fawful rushes off to threaten some Goombas. The completely frightened Goombas give him all of their coins.
Tubba Blubba: See, it's working great already!
Fawful: 7 coins?
Tap Tap: There's a better way.
Whomp: Why are you doubting Tubba? This is the way to go! Hey, Troopa, give me all of your coins or I'll flatten you!
The Troopa tosses Whomp a bag of coins.
Whomp: Perfect! See? Never doubt Tubba... Blubba! You ARE an idiot! There are only 3 coins in this bag!
Tubba Blubba: Oh, do you actually think the other team is going to come up with more than 10 coins?
Old-School Obtuse Ones
Morton: Here are 10,000 shiny, golden, pretty-looking, glistening coins for you!
Fiery: Wait, this can't be right!
Panser: I told you it would work!
Fiery: You must have cheated!
Panser: So what? I told Morton I needed a donation for the Anti-Larry Fund. He was generous.
Koopa Troopa: So, are we using these coins to build this casino, or just keeping them?
Panser: Of course we're using these to help us fund our casino!
Fiery: No, no, no.
Croco: There's no way this will ever work!
Roy: That's for sure!
Panser: Get out of here, Roy!
Roy: Hey, I have to watch you guys for my father's sake.
Panser: Well, don't bother us!
Roy: I bet that there's no way your casino will make a single coin.
Panser: How much?
Roy: How about 10,000 coins?
Panser: It's a deal!
Fiery is shaking his head furiously, while the other team members stare in disbelief.
Panser: Now we just need to find some Troopas willing to work for us.
Koopa Troopa: I'm not!
Panser: That's okay. I'll find some.
Chibobo: You go look yourself. We'll be finding real ways of getting coins ourselves.
New-School Nonsensical Novices
Tap Tap is searching for coins under
rocks (none there), Whomp is jumping at ? Blocks to try to get
coins out of them (but they only have useless Super Mushrooms), and Petey Piranha is begging Venus Fire Traps for coins (but they just spit fireballs at him).
Tubba Blubba: Come on, there's a better way than this!
Fawful: What is that way?
Tubba Blubba: I don't know what it is, but there has to be one!
King Boo: Is Peach's Castle considered part of Grass Land?
Tubba Blubba: Larry?
Tubba Blubba: Yes!
King Boo: All right! Let's go there. Peach has to have tons of coins stored there!
Larry: I never said it was part of Grass Land.
Fawful: We know what that "well" meant, Larry. Stop resisting us and admit the truth!
Larry: Okay, so it is! This is unfortunate. I didn't want Peach to have a new reason to be mad at me... arrrgh.
Old-School Obtuse Ones
Fiery and Koopa Troopa are sitting in the sand, tired out. Croco is walking over to them with a pile of coins.
Croco: Here are 15 coins!
Koopa Troopa: Oh, it's no use. Maybe that Panser is right. We're not going to get enough coins just by randomly searching for coins. I think we should go find him and help him out.
Fiery: Why? He's going to waste those 10,000 coins, and if we help him out, we'll look as bad as he will. Let's instead just find coins in our own way, and let him waste those coins himself and get fired.
Chibobo is lying in the sand, overheated. Sumo is trying to find some shade. Croco sits down, frustrated and too hot.
Fiery: Oh, all right, all right, we'll go find Panser! But if you get fired, don't blame me!
But only a minute after Panser's team members go looking for him, Panser comes marching to his team with a giant gang of Boomerang Brothers.
Panser: Look who I found!
Panser: These Boomerang Brothers have agreed to work for us for one coin each.
Koopa Troopa: Only one coin each?!
Panser: I told them they'll be getting a lot more after we get the coins back from Bowser.
Chibobo: But I thought-
Panser: Anyway, they will help us clear out the pyramid, and some of them will even build casino games and provide electricity. Meanwhile, I will oversee their building while you five go out advertising.
Fiery: You mean four. I will not advertise for your failure of a casino.
Panser: Failure? What failure?
Fiery: There's no way this will work!
Panser: You say that just because I'm from Sub-con!
Fiery: That's right!
Panser: So I say you're wrong just because you're from Desert Land! Now those who are sensible will help me out, because I have thousands of coins. How many do you have, Fiery?
Fiery: Well, I-
Panser: How many, Fiery?
Fiery: Okay, okay, I'll advertise! Working for a Sub-con character... I'll never live this down!
New-School Nonsensical Novices
Tubba Blubba and his group arrive at Peach's Castle. Tubba Blubba starts knocking on the door.
King Boo: Okay, since when did it become a good idea to just knock on the door of the place that you're about to rob?
Peach opens the door.
Peach: Come in!
Tap Tap: Since now.
The New-School Nonsensical Novices and Larry follow Peach into the castle.
Peach: So, what do you want?
Petey Piranha: Oh, just 1,000,000- ouch!
Fawful kicks Petey Piranha.
Tubba Blubba: Could we all have some coffee?
Peach: Sure! I'll be right back!
Peach hurries off, while the six players and Larry stand amazed.
Fawful: Thanks to my brilliance, we still have an opportunity to make our robbery!
King Boo: Is Peach really this stupid?
Whomp: She's never been known for her smarts.
Tap Tap: So, how are we going to go about this?
Tubba Blubba: Simple. King Boo and I will go off hunting through the castle for where all the coins have to be stored, while you four distract Peach.
Fawful: By force or by acting stupid?
King Boo: By acting stupid, of course!
Peach comes out with coffee for the characters, who walk over to a table. Tubba Blubba and King Boo have gone off down a hallway looking for coins, but of course they went down the wrong one.
King Boo: Maybe we should have just asked Peach for the coins.
Tubba Blubba: Are you sure?
King Boo: She let us in, didn't she?
Tubba Blubba: Yeah... that actually might not be that bad of an idea.
The two of them go back to meet the rest.
Peach: So, where were you two?
King Boo: Uh...
Peach: Oh, it doesn't matter! Have some coffee!
Tubba Blubba: (whispering) She is dumb!
King Boo: Say, could we borrow 1,000,000 coins?
Peach: Borrow? You can have them! I'll go get some Toads to give them to you!
Peach walks away again. The six members are laughing, while Larry looks sick.
Whomp: Wow! This is too easy!
Petey Piranha: You should have just let me ask in the first place, Fawful!
Fawful: I was not aware of Peach's extreme shortcomings in the brains department.
Tap Tap: Why are you so gloomy, Larry?
Larry: This is way too easy for you guys. It's unfair!
Tubba Blubba: Hey, that's the way it goes!
Peach comes out with the Mario Brothers.
King Boo: Uh oh.
Luigi: Larry's got to be the ringleader! I'll get him!
Mario: I'll deal with the rest!
Luigi grabs the confused Larry and leads him off to a dungeon jail. Meanwhile, Mario is wearing a Hammer Brothers Suit and holding some sort of flower.
Tubba Blubba: Get out of here!
The six team members rush for the door. Tubba Blubba opens the door, and all six team members run outside.
Whomp: Where's the drawbridge?
Mario: Thanks, Toad!
Toad: No problem!
Tubba Blubba: The water's been lowered big-time, so now we're way down here! Anyone think they can climb out of here?
No one says anything.
Tubba Blubba: We're stuck.
Mario: You guys are the stupid ones! Peach figured you were plotting something evil from the start, and she told us back when she got you coffee! We planned this out, and it couldn't have turned out better! Now your leader Larry is jailed, and we're calling up Bowser to tell him it's your fault his son is locked up! Enjoy explaining this to him!
Mario runs back inside the castle.
Whomp: We're fired. One of us is, at least.
Old-School Obtuse Ones
Unaware of the fate of their rivals, the Old-School Obtuse Ones are still trying as hard as they possibly can- and are continuing to succeed.
Fiery: I've got a somewhat new opinion on Panser.
Chibobo: What's that?
Fiery: He's still a little loser who talks too much, but he certainly knows what he's doing today.
The five team members besides Panser are advertising for their casino, and they already have a line of characters waiting outside the in-progress casino just waiting to get in. Even Roy is in line.
Roy: Panser won his bet, so I've got to go win my coins back!
A few hours later, the Boomerang Brothers have made the casino usable inside the pyramid, and all sorts of characters are rushing inside, including Roy.
Roy: Here are your 10,000 coins, Panser.
Panser: Ha! I told you it would work!
Roy: At least I won't have to explain to Bowser that you did a bad job, because you did a great job... Now where's the poker table?
Panser: Over there!
Panser's casino is raking in the big bucks, and the Old-School Obtuse Ones continue to promote the casino, which is getting tons of customers.
Koopa Troopa: Are you sure this is working out as well as it seems?
Croco: It doesn't seem possible, but I guess it is.
Sumo: I'm glad we didn't fire Panser... yet, that is.
The casino is making thousands of coins, getting close to a million coins. Desert Land residents obviously are obsessed with gambling, because they are wasting tons of coins at the casino.
Fiery: (whispering) Hey, have any of you wondered what would happen if these characters started hitting the jackpot on the slot machines like crazy?
Chibobo: (whispering) Panser rigged all the slot machines, and video poker machines, and practically every game in the casino. These characters are too stupid to realize that they can't win... especially Roy.
Fiery: (whispering) I'm more like Panser than I thought.
New-School Nonsensical Novices
Whomp: Do you think there's a chance Mario was joking about calling up Bowser?
Fawful: There has to be at least one percent of a chance of him joking.
Tap Tap: Come on, guys, there's no way Mario could actually just go call Bowser. They're archrivals!
Tubba Blubba: Tap Tap's right. Mario can't and won't call Bowser.
Tubba Blubba: I stand corrected.
Bowser: Get out of there and start explaining!
Petey Piranha: We can't get out, but we can start explaining.
Bowser: Wait... you can explain once you get back to my castle. How many coins do you have anyway?
King Boo: Ten.
Bowser: Well, those will be a down payment on Larry's bail... you'll have to go 9,990 coins in debt to get him out of jail, or else all of you get automatically fired.
Tubba Blubba: Okay, we'll pay.
Bowser (on his cell phone): Okay, Mario, you can let the losers out now!
Mario gives the team members a ladder that they climb to get out of the moat. The wet and embarrassed team members hand Mario their ten coins, and Mario frees Larry.
Bowser: Believe it or not, it's just about 12 hours since this started, so you have to come to my castle. I'll call up Roy and get his crew back to my castle too.
Bowser's Castle (an hour or so later)...
Bowser: Both teams are now here, and let's find out how many coins each has. Larry, what's the total for the New-School Nonsensical Novices?
Larry: It's below zero.
Bowser: How much below zero?
Larry: 9,990 below.
Bowser: You found a way to go into debt! How do you think you could run any part of my army, or do anything against Mario, if your goal is to make coins but you lose them instead? In fact, you lost coins you didn't even have! What's the matter, Tubba Blubba?
Tubba Blubba: You already know this!
Bowser: So what? I want to know the answer to these questions!
Tubba Blubba: Look, we stunk it up. That's all there is to it.
Bowser: Great explanation. How about this other group, the Old-School Obtuse Ones, Roy?
Roy: Well, they sort of made 1,867,539 coins.
Bowser: Over a million?!
Roy: That's right.
Bowser: Panser appears to be a true leader!
Fiery: Hey, I was behind him the whole way!
Bowser: Sure, whatever. But I'm impressed with Panser and his team. You're immune from firing if you get forced to a special meeting, Panser.
Panser: Thank you.
Bowser: And your team can go enjoy its big reward... you each get signed autographs of my picture! These have got to be worth lots of coins!
Chibobo: Oh, brother. What about the coins we earned?
Bowser: Those go to me, of course. I have to pay off this stupid debt that these losers put me in. Now go away!
The Old-School Obtuse Ones grab their signed autographed pictures with disgust and jump into a warp pipe.
Bowser: Now the real fun begins! First, let's go meet in the room I have prepared for you... heh, heh, heh...
Petey Piranha: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Bowser's Meeting Room
Bowser is seated in a throne, with Roy and Larry in cool-looking seats. The others are in their own pitiful seats, seated around a table, looking worried, except for Fawful, who appears to be plotting some way of destroying Bowser.
Bowser: So let's talk about what went wrong, which is pretty much everything. First, what was the original idea, Tubba Blubba?
Tubba Blubba: I figured if we just picked up a few coins from some innocent bystanders, we'd beat the other team, who'd probably stink it up.
Bowser: Well, they didn't! In fact,
they got almost two million coins! Why were you counting on your
opponents doing poorly? Why not just do well yourself?
Tubba Blubba: Because I felt we were doing well enough.
Bowser: Ten coins is good enough?! Do you think I'd build my castle on ten coins, and say, "Oh, Peach won't spend more than nine coins on her castle"?
Tubba Blubba: Well, uh-
Bowser: You don't know what you're doing! You're the worst leader ever!
Tubba Blubba: Do you think any of these other losers would have done better?
Bowser: I don't know. What were your ideas, King Boo?
King Boo: They were- uh, they- well, I thought of- I was going to- uh-
Bowser: You're no help. What about Fawful?
Fawful: Must... destroy-
Bowser: You're useless. Whomp?
Whomp: I'm loyal. I stood behind Tubba Blubba's reasoning.
Bowser: Good for you! You see an idiot doing poorly, and you fully agree with him! Who's more foolish, the fool, or the fool that follows him?
Whomp: Hey, that line is from Star-
Bowser: I know it's from Star Wars! What's your answer?
Bowser: You don't have one! How about you, Tap Tap?
Tap Tap: It's not my fault! I didn't do anything!
Bowser: That's what you did! And as for you, Petey Piranha?
Petey Piranha: I had the idea of just asking Peach for one million coins in the first place!
Bowser: First of all, that plan worked well, didn't it? You ended up losing coins you didn't have! Second of all, why only one million? That wasn't even enough!
Petey Piranha: Well, how was I supposed to know?
Bowser: You idiots! If you want to become my apprentice and earn one million coins, you have to actually think big! You can't just think, "my opponent is going to stink it up"! You can't just think, "the easy way is to just ask Peach for coins"! You can't just think-
Tubba Blubba: Okay, we get the point! We're morons!
Bowser: Who would you fire if you had the choice, Tubba Blubba?
Tubba Blubba: You!
Bowser: You're walking on eggshells, buddy! Tell me someone from your team!
Tubba Blubba: Okay, I'd fire Fawful.
Tubba Blubba: Hey, Crazy Packers Fan doesn't like him that much! Maybe he will get him fired!
Bowser: Good thinking... not! Fawful, who to fire?
Fawful: Tubba Blubba, because he wants to fire me!
Bowser: Petey Piranha?
Petey Piranha: Tap Tap, because he didn't do anything.
Whomp: Petey Piranha, as he didn't think big.
Bowser: King Boo?
King Boo: Whomp, as he agreed with Tubba Blubba.
Bowser: Tap Tap?
Tap Tap: King Boo, because he agreed with Tubba Blubba too!
Bowser: Well, that's great. You guys don't know who's to blame, so you just blame the first character to come to mind. So now Tubba Blubba will pick two of you to stay here with him, where one of the three here will be fired! Tubba Blubba, who will it be?
Tubba Blubba: Fawful and Petey Piranha.
Bowser: Tubba, Fawful, and Petey will stay here, while the other three of you may go, as you are safe- for now! Heh, heh, heh!
The other three walk out of the room and jump into a warp pipe.
Bowser: Larry, what's your opinion on these three losers?
Larry: Tubba Blubba is a blind leader leading the blind. Fawful is out in space somewhere. Petey Piranha is just plain stupid. None of them deserve to be your apprentice.
Bowser: I unfortunately can't fire all three at once, but one will be fired. Tubba Blubba, give your argument as to why you should stay.
Tubba Blubba: I was given no help, and if any of these were in my position, they would have stunk it up just as badly.
Bowser: Good point, but as leader, you should still show yourself to be the best of the bunch. How did Panser do, Roy?
Roy: Panser was hated by his teammates, but he proved them wrong, and he got them working for him. He made nearly two million coins, and he won a bet with me.
Bowser: I banned you from betting!
Bowser: That will cost you 9,990 coins, to pay off this team's debt.
Roy: Well, I kind of- don't have any-
Tubba Blubba: (This is my way out! I just have to find a way to use this in my favor!) Hey, don't trust anything Roy says! He says that Panser was a great leader, but don't trust what he's saying, because he made a bet! So I'm really not that bad after all!
Bowser: Wrong, you idiot! If Panser was brilliant enough to get this loser to make a bet despite all the threats I made to him if he bet again after Mario Madness 2's betting fiasco, he's got to be one of the most excellent leaders of the contestants here! You obviously aren't!
Tubba Blubba: Aren't you going to ask these other two why they shouldn't be fired?
Bowser: Why should I? I was never going to fire anyone but you. Guess what? You're fired!
Tubba Blubba sits in silence as the other two players leave the room and jump into the same warp pipe their teammates entered.
Bowser: Roy will lead you to your dungeon cell.
Tubba Blubba: Dungeon cell?!
Bowser: Hey, if you're this bad, I don't want you going around messing things up for me, like the way you did this time! You won't be much of a threat to me in the dungeon! Goodbye, Tubba Blubba!
Roy leads Tubba Blubba to his dungeon cell.
Bowser: What a loser that Tubba Blubba is.
Larry: Yeah, he really put up a pitiful performance this episode.
Bowser: Fortunately, he's out of here, and maybe his teammates will step it up next episode. Until then, this is Bowser saying goodbye for Roy and Larry! Remember, Energetic Ninjis love Emerald Nuts! So long until next episode!