Lemmy: Welcome to the sixth episode of The Apprentice. Today, the two teams will compete in a challenge in which they must make a commercial for Roy's Sports Hall on a limited budget. Myself, Ludwig, and Iggy will then vote on the winner.
Donez: Just so we're clear, how much of a budget do we have?
Lemmy: 1,000 coins for each team. Iggy gets the Vile Venturers today while Ludwig gets the 2D Terrors. Both teams will film in the Sports Hall. The task manager for the 2D Terrors is Captain Syrup while the task manager for the Vile Venturers is Crook B. Each team has 12 hours.
All of the contestants, along with Iggy and Ludwig, go into the Warp Pipe leading to Roy's Sports Hall. Once there, the 2D Terrors go to the left side of the building while the VIle Venturers go right.
2D Terrors
Syrup: Arr, here's what we be doin'. We're going to try a few movie parodies like I saw in some commercials for Wrestlemania recently and we'll give them a humorous fighting twist.
Donez: I have a better idea. Why not have two of us fake a fight, have one of us dress in a Roy costume, have one dressed like Popple, and have the other three film it?
Syrup: No! I'm task manager and we're doing movie parodies.
Vile Venturers
Crook B: Luckily we get the advantage of actually having Roy, so that should give us a good chance of winning from the start. All right, any ideas on how we should go about doing things?
Wario: I suggest-a having Roy-a give a tour of the Sports Hall-a or something and we could tape it.
Roy: Nah! What we should do is have a huge fight between you four while I run the camera. Then I'd walk onscreen after it's over and have some catchy comment about the Sports Hall.
Bowser: Why not take advantage of that 1,000 coins and buy some pyros or something to add to Roy's idea?
Crook B: Good ideas. What about you, Bogmire?
Bogmire: I've got a brilliant idea. Why not use the 1,000 coins to get some minions in here and then we could have them say things they like about the Sports Hall, and then wrap everything up with a line from Roy?
Crook B: I think I've got an idea. We can manage to fit all of those together!
2D Terrors
Syrup: All right, so we've got all the props we'll need. We still have 500 coins to set up all the scenery.
Amanita: Well, we also need a script.
Syrup: This is a good point. Donez, how fast could you throw together a script of all of the things we'll need?
Donez: Roughly an hour.
Syrup: We don't have time for- okay, fine. We still have about 11 hours to go.
Bandit: I can get the scenery we'll need. I know a guy in the Cheesy FX business.
Lakitu: I can, of course, run the camera.
Tanoomba: I can play any extras needed.
Syrup: Great. Let's make a commercial!
Vile Venturers
Bogmire: All right, I think we've got everything ready.
Crook B: Good. We just need one more thing...
Wario: What-a?
Crook B: We need some background music. Does anyone have a CD player?
Wario: I have-a one.
Crook B: Great. Does anyone have the Fire Emblem theme on a CD?
Everyone shakes their head.
Crook B: *sigh* I'll go get on Napster...
2D Terrors
Syrup: Ludwig, how much time do we have left?
Ludwig: Approximatly four and a half hours.
Syrup: Good. This commercial should last roughly five minutes, but it'll likely take two hours to shoot and another two to edit.
Lakitu grabs a camera and sets it up.
Syrup: All right, does everyone know their lines?
Everyone nods.
Syrup: Good. Let's be gettin' this show on the road!
Vile Venturers
Wario: Heh... heh... That was fun.
Crook B: Speak for yourself... Ugh.
Roy: Well, we're done with this. We'd better be getting this edited.
Bowser: Anyone on this team know how to edit things?
Crook B: I have some experience. It should be enough for this.
Roy takes the tape out of the camera and hands it to Crook B.
Crook B: Great. Does anyone have the kind of equipment we'll need?
Roy: Equipment?! But we spent all of the money on an audience!
Crook B: *sigh* Then there's no way we can edit this.
Roy: Um... Well... Maybe the other team's will be so bad that ours won't need to be edited?
Crook B: Or maybe the other team's will be so good that the vote will be unanimous.
Roy: Come on! You're a thief! Just steal the stuff!
Crook B: *sigh* Fine. I'll go see what I can do.
2D Terrors
Syrup: We be finished! Donez, go ahead and get this edited. We've only gotten an hour and 45 minutes left so you'd better hurry.
Donez: Got it.
Syrup: I think we're all startin' to get closer to winnin' this. Soooo... Who wants to go watch how the other team's doing?
Everyone but Donez, Lakitu, and Bandit go with Syrup. Donez stays for obvious reasons and Lakitu and Bandit stay to help out.
Vile Venturers
Crook 1: After an hour and a half of intense editing I've got only one thing to say.
Bowser: What is it?
Crook 1: Roy is never allowed to use a camera again... ever. Parts of it were blotched with his fingers, the tint was incredibly low, and parts were really out of focus. I had to cut things and edit some things just to make it look presentable. Plus now it looks all anti-aliased because of having to raise the tint and digitize everyone in some parts. Say, what are Syrup, Amanita, and Tanoomba doing here?
Syrup: Oh we're just watching to see how things are going. Pretty well, it sounds... for us!
Crook 1: Well I don't suppose you all got much better.
Tanoomba: Ours isn't perfect, but... well, you'll see. Just 15 minutes left, huh? Heh, I wonder how Donez is doing...
2D Terrors
Donez: We don't have enough time. We're either going to have to leave the backgrounds unenhanced or we'll have to cut a part.
Lakitu: Wait... I don't think the A Few Good Men thing needs much enhancement. It looks pretty good as-is.
Bandit: Yeah, Lakitu's right.
Donez: All right. But if we lose I'm suggesting Lakitu to go to Lemmy's Life. Then I'll suggest you, Bandit, to go there next week.
Vile Venturers
Syrup: Well, one minute to go until we win.
Crook B: Well, you seem confident. Want to make things interesting?
Syrup: How so?
Crook B: Winner gets 50 coins. Deal?
Syrup: You got it.
The two shake hands on it and glare at each other. Suddenly warp pipes appear under all of the competitors as well as Iggy and Ludwig. All 13 appear in Lemmy's Office, along with the tapes of their commercials.
Lemmy's Office
Lemmy: Welcome back. Iggy and Ludwig, bring both tapes here.
The two do so.
Lemmy: All right, we'll now watch both tapes. Vile Venturers, as you all lost last week, who do you want to go first?
Crook B: We will.
Lemmy: Fine.
Lemmy pops the tape into a VCR. A TV lowers from the ceiling and the commercial begins.
-------
Goomba: Welcome to Roy's Sports
Hall! Today we have a fight between-
Roy: (while the Goomba is doing the introduction) Hello, I'm Roy, sucker. Roy's Sports Hall is a place where the big boys come out to play... and to kill each other! Let's cut to the battle then, shall we? ... Get to the battle already!
The camera cuts to the other four members of the Vile Venturers inside the ring.
Roy: Fight!
Crook B: Theft Tackle!
Goomba: Crook B starts out with a tackle!
Several minutes of combat later...
Wario stands in the center of the ring with Bowser knocked out next to him. Bogmire lays nearby and Crook B's arm sticks out from underneath Bowser.
Wario: Wahahahahah! I'm-a the winner!
Roy: See all of this and more at-
-------
Lemmy: Interesting. It seemed a bit digitized and the sound was a bit muffled, but otherwise it was a very nice job. Let's see the 2D Terrors' now.
Iggy takes out the Vile Venturers' tape and puts in the 2D Terrors'.
-------
Dr. Donez and Bandit are seen in
the ring in robes... well, actually, in Donez's case it's more like a shirt
with the sleeves cut to cover most of his wings but... eh, you know. Anyway,
Donez has a picture of a lightning bolt drawn on his forehead and Bandit
is wearing a blonde wig. Both have ice picks drawn. Roy (Tanoomba) stands
between them with a long black wig on and a black robe.
Donez: Slashus!
Donez slashes at Bandit, who blocks with his ice pick.
Bandit: Stabbal!
Donez leaps back and "Roy" grabs the two and throws them both in opposite directions. The camera then goes to a scene in an apartment. "Roy" and Amanita are seen as cops while Lakitu sits on a couch.
Amanita: Tell me the truth: do you have tickets to Roy's Sports Hall Glum Reaper versus Shaman for tonight?
Lakitu: No.
"Roy": What are you thinking?! Why would you not have bought them?!
Lakitu: Th-they were sold out.
Amanita: They were sold out, huh? They were sold out?! Then why didn't you get them off somebody scalping some?!
Lakitu: I didn't think-
Amanita: You're right, you didn't think! Let's see if you can think about other things. What do they call Roy's Sports Hall in Wendy's Phonebooth?
Lakitu: Roy's Sports Hall...
"Roy": Yeah, yeah, that's right. Uh huh.
Amanita: Do they have Roy's Sports Hall on other websites?
Lakitu: Um... no?
Amanita: No they do not! If you can think about those questions then why can't you think about buying some tickets off a scalper? This reminds me of one of my favorite passages from a book, "As if on cue the cockpit, now falling at incredible speeds, rotated around so that the window that Chef Torte was looking at had a kodak moment of the rock face beneath, a violent ocean, and a cliff. And still the firefighters with their trampoline were no place to be seen."
After the fungus finishes saying this he reaches into his jacket and pulls out something slowly and carefully. Lakitu watched, thinking he is pulling out a dangerous weapon of some type.
Amanita: Here.
Amanita finishes pulling out the object, which is a ticket to Roy's Sports Hall. He hands it to Lakitu.
"Roy": For once we didn't have to use these...
"Roy" pulls out a Fire Flower and accidently blows it on Lakitu. The camera then goes to a scene with Captain Syrup in a testimonial box in a court room. She's wearing a suit and "Roy" stands in front of her, also in a suit. A jury is seen containing a few Toads along with the other four members of the team.
"Roy": What is your relationship with the Brown Sugar Pirates?
Syrup: I led them. They were a great group but they couldn't stand up to Wario. In the end, the group split up and many of its members rejoined me for the formation of the Black Sugar Pirates.
"Roy": I see. What is the involvement of the Genie in your fights?
Syrup: The Genie worked for me and granted my wishes. He gave me wealth, power, minions, the works. When Wario invaded Kitchen Island the Genie fought against him and lost. The Genie jumped ship to Wario and granted his wishes, then left. It is hard to say where the Genie is located now.
"Roy": What about the Roy's Sports Hall Season 5 Finale? Do you plan on being in it?
Syrup: If I get the chance then you can rest assured that I'll be in it. I don't feel like saying any more.
"Roy": I want the truth!
Syrup: The truth? The truth of the matter, the truth of everything having to do with any of this, is interesting, isn't it? Are you sure you want to know, prosecutor? Are you sure that you want to know the truth about the Season 5 Finale?
"Roy": Yes! I want the truth, now!
Syrup: The truth?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
The camera goes to "Roy."
Roy: Catch all of this and more in
Roy's Sports Hall every week on Saturday!
--------
Lemmy: O...kay... Iggy, Ludwig, and myself are going to go discuss who should win now in the room next to this one.
The three go into a door and both teams instantly crowd around the door.
Syrup: Heh, prepare to lose 50 coins.
Lemmy's Room Next to the Office
Lemmy: Hmm... The 2D Terrors' is definitely of a higher quality and has more appeal, but the one by the Vile Venturers relates more to the Sports Hall. I'll vote for the Vile Venturers.
Iggy: Well, personally I think that the Vile Venturers' is too chaotic and unoriginal. The 2D Terrors exhibit exceptional creativity with their parodies of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Pulp Fiction, and A Few Good Men. 2D Terrors all the way.
Ludwig: It's close, but considering that I like the movie A Few Good Men, I'll also vote for the 2D Terrors.
They suddenly hear shouting.
Syrup: Yes! You owe me 50 coins, sucker!
Lemmy: Uh...huh... Yeah...
Lemmy's Office
The three walk out.
Lemmy: Okay, Crook B, choose a person to come with you and the person who got the most votes in the poll, Bowser.
Crook B: I choose Roy.
Lemmy: Okay, come along.
The three follow and all of the other players leave.
Lemmy's Life
Lemmy: All right, Crook B, who would you fire? Roy, King Dad, or yourself?
Crook B: I'd fire Roy. He had horrible camera skills, which cost us this week as it required many things to have to be editedm giving a very low quality to the commercial.
Lemmy: I see. King Dad?
Bowser: I'd fire my son as well. That idiot cost us this week!
Lemmy: Roy?
Roy: I'd fire Crook B. His editing could have been a lot better.
Crook B: For how little experience I have, that was 5-star work!
Lemmy: No outbursts, please. Save that for the next episode. Anyway, Roy, I have good news.
Roy: I'm not fired?
Lemmy: Nope. The good news is that I saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico. Roy, you're fired.
Iggy: Wow, that was anticlimatic.
Ludwig: I'll say. End transmission.