The show opens up with Lemmy standing on a stage in front of 16 curtains, while wearing a suit. Iggy stands next to him in a suit holding two briefcases.
Lemmy: Welcome to my latest waste of time (yours), The Apprentice!
Iggy: Why are we doing a parody of this again? And why isn't Ludwig helping out?
Lemmy: So we have a cheap way of getting all kinds of hits on the site. Plus, I get someone to do all of my running around work. I wonder who the competitors are. Oh, and the reason Ludwig isn't here is because he was away on a business trip picking something up which will help make the next episode more exciting.
Meanwhile...
Ludwig: I'll give you 20 coins!
Booster: 50.
Ludwig: 30.
Booster: 40.
Ludwig: 20.
Booster: 30.
Ludwig: 10.
Booster: 20.
Ludwig: Deal. Now give me my 500-pound chocolate bar.
Back with Lemmy and Iggy...
Lemmy: Yep. We'll all be bouncing off the walls... huh? Oh yeah, back to what I was saying. Did you get people who would all work well as an apprentice to The Lemmy?
Iggy: Of course, bro. Each brings something to the mix that may prove useful.
Lemmy: You just got some guys off the street and told them we'd give them pastries, didn't you?
Iggy: Yep.
Iggy pulls on a rope, opening all of the curtains. Behind the curtains are Kamek, Bowser, Mr. Blizzard, Dr. Donez (a Tweeter), Amanita, Bogmire, Roy, Fawful, Lakitu, Bandit, Wario, Tanoomba, Crook B, Jawful, Goombario, and Captain Syrup.
Wario: Where's our-a pastries?
Lemmy: Um... Now to divide you into teams. All you even-numbered ones, you're on team 1. The others are on team 2. Now, your first challenge is to start a business with some money I will give each team. The store that I like the most wins. You have 24 hours. The task managers are Kamek and Captain Syrup. Now, flip a coin to see which team gets more funding.
Iggy pulls out a HUGE coin (about ten pounds in size) and walks between Captain Syrup and Kamek.
Iggy: Call it in the air, Kamek!
Kamek: Tails.
Iggy throws it about a foot in the air before it drops, landing on Iggy's foot.
Iggy: YEOCH!
Kamek: It's tails.
Iggy kicks the coin off with his other foot, then hops away on one foot.
Lemmy: Alright. Kamek, your team gets 11,000 coins, while Captain Syrup's gets 9,000. Now I will explain the rules. The two teams, Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers and That Team With Bowser On It, will compete each week in some kind of contest. The losing team's task manager, along with the two he thinks are responsible for the loss, will come see me in the most dreaded section of my site: Lemmy's Life!
Lightning strikes and Lemmy cackles manically.
Lemmy: Anyway, there I'll ban one of you from my Land until the contest is over or someone uses you in a submission. Once the teams become too uneven, we'll split the two teams up and create two new teams.
Iggy: So I'll have to keep track of both teams by myself, or will you help?
Lemmy: No, no. All I do is sit around here, ban people, and get rich off living like Donald Trump. But Ludwig did leave a replacement who is a respected colleague of his... only he's good.
Professor Elvin Gadd walks into the room.
Lemmy: Iggy, you will keep track of Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers.
Goombario: I'm not a villain though.
Lemmy: Everyone else on your team is, though, and majority rules. Well, actually, everyone in the game except you is a villain! Anyway, in order to not steal customers from each other, both teams will choose a town in which to start their business. That Team With Bowser On It chooses first.
Captain Syrup: We be choosin' Yoshi Village.
Kamek: You idiots are choosing a poor area! HAHA! We choose Toad Town!
Lemmy: Good, good. Now, get going!
The two teams rush off along with E.
Gadd and Iggy. Strangely, warp pipes come up under every player and both
helpers, and all go where they are supposed to through them.
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| Task Manager: Kamek
Amanita Crook B Goombario Lakitu Mr. Blizzard Roy Wario Watched by: Iggy |
Task Manager: Captain Syrup
Bandit Bogmire Bowser Dr. Donez * Fawful Jawful Tanoomba Watched by: E. Gadd |
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Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
Kamek: That was random. Alright, let's get started. We'll try an electronics store! Toads lack one, and would pay big bucks!
Amanita: Kamek, your idea is great! Glad I thought of it!
Wario: Where-a will we get-a the electronics?
Amanita: Kamek, your idea is horrible! I'm glad I didn't think of it!
Kamek: Well, I guess we could always use some of the money to buy some...
Roy: Kamek, your idea is great! Glad I thought of it!
Amanita: You took my line! I'll kill you!
Amanita jumps on Roy, and the two begin fighting.
That Team With Bowser On It
Donez: Alright, we're here now. Please explain exactly what we're doing.
Syrup: Oh, it's a brilliant plan! I am planning a service that won't just be effective, but that Lemmy will personally appreciate us making!
Donez: What? A ball factory? A drivethrough ice cream store? A- What was I talking about again?
All but Donez: ...
Donez: Oh yeah, Syrup's plan.
Syrup: What the store is doesn't matter right now. Bowser, Jawful, and me will build it after Donez, Fawful, and Tanoomba find some wood for us to use. Bogmire and Bandit, you two scallywags go find a printer, a computer, a scanner, and all that go with it. We be winnin' this contest!
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
Kamek: Now that the stupid fight's stopped, maybe we can get some work done. First, we'll use that abandoned storage room to run it in.
Amanita: Err... It's too small to even fit us all!
Kamek: Fine, I always have a backup plan.
Kamek raises his wand, and the group teleports to Club 64, along with Iggy.
Iggy: I'm not so sure this idea will work...
Kamek: Um, excuse me, who is the owner of this club?
Pop Diva: Ahh! It's Kamek!
Goombario: Let me handle this. *ahem* We're here to see if we can rent the building to start an electronics store.
Pop Diva: This Goomba must be an imposter.
Goombario: Wha?
A bunch of Toads who are in the club chase them out. The group runs right into the ocean.
Crook B: Any more bright ideas, Kamek? 'Cause I've got a better one to get a building.
Kamek: I'm willing to try anything about now.
That Team With Bowser On It
Bogmire: Where are we supposed to find a computer out here?!
Bandit: Hey, that idiot pirate gave us all of the money! We could just go and get ourselves some R&R somewhere, then work on finding a computer! Knowing Lemmy, he'd probably just use us to update his site until he beats Paper Mario 2, then have us stand in the background of some pictures for a while.
Bogmire: I doubt it. But let's do it anyway. He'll probably show favoritism to his dad and Roy.
Iggy: That might not be a good idea!
Bandit: Do you really want what's best for Lemmy's Land?
Iggy: Go right ahead.
Just when the two are about to go, a Yoshi walks by carrying a huge box with the word "Snell" on it. What do you mean what is Snell? It's the biggest computer company on Plit. Actually, it's the only computer company on Plit.
Bandit: Or better yet...
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
Crook B: So, what we'll do is use the storage building, but enlarge it first!
Kamek: Might as well try, I guess.
Kamek succeeds in enlarging the building, then the group goes in.
Kamek: Now to figure out what's in these boxes...
Kamek opens one, and sees tons of car parts.
Kamek: We have a lot of work to do...
Crook B: If we had that freeze gun from that one story this'd go a lot quicker, since we could just kick these boxes out of here...
E. Gadd: I have a freeze gun with me, but I don't think you all are allowed to use it.
All of the villains look at each other, while E. Gadd looks scared and Goombario looks kind of bored.
E. Gadd: I don't like the way this looks...
That Team With Bowser On It
Bogmire and Bandit walk out of the jungle carrying the box. The bag of money is gone. Iggy follows looking disappointed.
Bandit: That Yoshi put up quite a fight.
Bogmire: All 9,000 coins even...
The group gets back, finding Jawful, Syrup, and Bowser waiting impatiently.
Syrup: I wonder how long we'll be waiting on that wood...
Iggy: Guess I'll have to go find them...
Jawful: Zzz...
Bowser: Can someone keep this guy from snoring?!
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
E. Gadd: Mph!
Kamek: Alright, we handled those boxes and tied up Gadd, so let's get everything we'll need!
Kamek pulls out his wand and a bunch of counters and shelves appear, as well as tiles on the floor.
Kamek: Now, we'll need some technology to fill it with!
Lakitu: Can't you make stuff like that appear?
Kamek: Magic does work on sciency stuff. What we'll need is some kind of scientist...
Everyone turns toward E. Gadd again.
E. Gadd: MPH! MMMMPPPPHHHH!!!
That Team With Bowser On It
Tanoomba: Hey, how are we supposed to cut down these trees?
Donez: What am I, a doctor?!
Amanita and Tanoomba: ...
Donez: Oh, right. I don't know! Turn into a Grinder or something!
Tanoomba: I'll need some help if we're going to get enough!
Donez: Then me and Amanita'll work on getting some by bribing locals!
Iggy suddenly runs up, weezing.
Amanita: Why don't I get a say in this?!
Tanoomba: 'Cause I'm tougher than you and Donez isn't even supposed to be in Lemmy's Land, so you have to treat him good.
Donez: Don't you mean well?
Tanoomba: So, you get no say while me and the nerd over here call the shots.
Amanita: *grumble* Fine.
Iggy: You know... They already got a building...
The three turn and run off... well, actually Amanita goes really slow and Donez hops.
Iggy: Not again!
Those Villains Nintendo... blah blah blah, you should know by now
E. Gadd: There, I built all of your things so will you PLEASE LET ME OUT OF THE SHACKLES?!
Kamek: Nope. Alright, Goombario, you'll run the main thing. The rest of us will be in the back playing table tennis until you need something, then we'll force E. Gadd to build it.
Goombario: Why do I have to run it?
Kamek: 'Cause you're the only one these Toads will trust among us, besides maybe Lakitu or Wario. On second thought, you two stay and help him out by bringing him stuff to give customers.
That Team With Bowser On It
Syrup: I present the "Making Funfics Gooderer" store!
Donez: There's no way this can work, especially among a bunch of Yoshis!
Syrup: Listen up, this will work. There are TONS of Yoshis in Lemmy's Land.
Donez: Yeah right.
Suddenly, a Yoshi walking by sees the store. A huge line of Yoshis, as well as a Dark Koopa and a Lakitu with a blue shell, appears from nowhere.
Donez: This is just a coincidence...
Tons of random tourists drop from the sky and land on their feet at the back of the line.
Syrup: You were saying?
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
Goombario walks into the 'storage' room.
Kamek: How'd the deal with that Toad go?
Goombario: His idea of technology was a telephone.
Kamek walks to the table tennis table and begins beating his head against it.
Crook B: You realize we only have twenty minutes left and we haven't sold A SINGLE THING!
Kamek: It's not like Captain Syrup can do better. I bet she's trying to get ol' Donez to give advice to people.
That Team With Bowser On It
Syrup: And I thought stealing was a way to get rich quick!
Donez: So you made over nine million. Big deal! When I, Donez, am task manager, that's when you'll see some real skill! And, I, Donez, will beat you in the election too!
Suddenly, warp pipes come under all of the contestants and the two helpers, taking them back to Lemmy's bedroom... err, office.
Lemmy's Office
Lemmy: Welcome back. I trust both businesses did well. E. Gadd, what was the total profit for Kamek's group?
E.Gadd: Accounting for the no money they spent... 0 coins.
Lemmy: You didn't spend any money?
Kamek: Well, we kind of-
E.Gadd: They beat me up, stole from me, and put shackles on me!
Lemmy: ...
Kamek: Well, how was I supposed to know Toads aren't big fans of technology?
Lemmy: What kind of technology?
Kamek: Computers, discount video games, freeze guns-
Lemmy: Interesting. Iggy, how much did Captain Syrup make?
Iggy: 9,468,357 coins.
Lemmy: WHAT?! What did they make?!
Iggy: A store that makes Fun Fics 'gooderer'.
Lemmy: Alright, time for my decision. Kamek, come get your tickets to the Beanbean Flodgers versus the Blue-Yellow Bog Slackers game tonight, and your team may leave. Also Kamek, you have immunity next week.
That Team With Bowser On It: WHAT?!
Kamek's team, quite shocked, grabs their tickets and leaves.
Syrup: Are you crazy?!
Lemmy: Since I own both your stores, I can get free video games and stuff from Kamek's! Plus, it's YOUR fault I'm getting so many more submissions!
Syrup: But- but-
Lemmy: Choose two people to go to Lemmy's Life with you, Captain Syrup.
Syrup: Donez and Jawful.
The rest of the team leaves, while E. Gadd, Lemmy, Iggy, Captain Syrup, Dr. Donez, and Jawful walk into a warp pipe, appearing in Lemmy's Life.
Lemmy: Syrup, why shouldn't I fire you?
Syrup: I made you the most moneymaking business since Wal-Mart. Plus, you can always refuse to accept them...
Lemmy: Good points. Donez, why shouldn't you be fired?
Donez: I have five medical degrees, a law degree, and numerous other degress.
Lemmy: And Jawful, why shouldn't I fire you?
Jawful: Zzz...
Lemmy: I'll wait...
Two hours later...
Jawful: Huh? I'm awake!
Lemmy: Finally. And for all your snoring and sleeping, you're fired!
Jawful: Okay. Can I have your bed?
Lemmy: Whatever! Just go!
Jawful leaves.
Lemmy: Good ridda- MY BED!
Lemmy goes rolling on his ball out of
the room extremely quickly.
Author's Note: Thank you to Samurai Jack and Lemmy Koopa for helping supply me background information.