Part 1: The Legend of the Time Stones
It has been a few days since Mario and Luigi have last saved Princess Peach from the clutches of Cackletta and Bowser. They have now planned a ceremony to celebrate the heroic effort of the dynamic duo, and everyone in the kingdom will be there. Well, almost everyone…
Bowser: ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Bowser eats a few of his soldiers and continues to scream. Ludwig comes in with a machine in his hands.
Ludwig: Um… King Dad? I think I’ve got another wonderful idea. It’s a bubblegum bazooka. It will shoot a sticky balloon of gum at those Mario Brothers, sticking them in their tracks.
Bowser: Oh yeah. That will work perfectly… TO THE MARIO BROTHERS' ADVANTAGE!
Ludwig: What?
Koopatrol: Couldn’t they chew away bubble gum?
Ludwig: …Rats!
Ludwig tosses the machine at a guard. The machine blows up and covers the guard in bubble gum. The gum over-inflates and the bubble, guard and all in it, flies into the air, only to be stopped by the ceiling. The bubble pops and the guard gets stuck to the roof.
Guard: Um… a little help here?
Bowser: You are the worst son I have! Your inventions backfire, blow up, or just don’t work before they even touch those pesky plumbers! You are going to the dungeon!
A few soldiers carry Ludwig to the dungeon. They lock the door and stand guard. A few seconds later, they break out some lunchboxes and start eating, keeping no eye on Ludwig. Ludwig decides to take the hidden passage Iggy showed him in the dungeon cell. He slides a rock back, revealing the passage, crawls in, and seals the entrance before the guards can see him. As he crawls along, he comes to a library that has books no one ever used.
Ludwig: What idiot would not use perfectly good books?
Ludwig scans the shelves, going over cookbooks, history books, and “How to Defeat Super-Powered Plumbers” books. Eventually, he pulls out a history book and reads it. He skims over the history of the Koopa Clan, of the Mushroom Kingdom, and the secret way to deactivate the super-powerful items in the kingdom. When he puts it back, the bookshelf slides back, showing a hidden bookshelf with a single book and a canister of film from an old movie projector.
Ludwig: What is this? “The Legend of the Time Stones”? What kind of title is that?
As Ludwig reads it, a smile crosses his gloomy face. He pickes up the book and canister and runs out of the library. He criss-crosses through the many halls of the castle, picking up a movie projector along the way. He enters the throne room and nearly gets scorched by Bowser.
Bowser: WHAT ARE DOING OUT OF THE DUNGEON? ARE THOSE CLOWNS ON LUNCH BREAK AGAIN?
Ludwig: King… Dad… I… have… found…
Bowser: FOUND WHAT?
Ludwig takes a few deep breaths and continues.
Ludwig: I have found a way to beat, no, destroy the Mario and Luigi we know today. Here, let me show you this movie canister that was with this book.
Ludwig sets the projector up and fits the canister in. The movie projector turns on easily and projects a short movie on the castle wall. Throughout the movie, pictures are shown with words, describing the legend. Here is what the movie shows:
The Legend of the Time Stones:
An awfully long time ago, there was
a Mushroomer with a great but terrible gift. He was able to control the
flow of time. With the flick of a finger, he could send himself back, forward,
or freeze others in time. Because of this, every creature of the Koopa
Clan wanted his powers. But because of his powers, he could see the attacks
beforehand and was always able to surprise the assaulters. Yet when the
Mushroomer lost his youth, he also lost his reflexes. One day, when he
was fishing, the Koopa Clan, who had agreed to share his powers when they
would abstract them, captured him. In his cell, he struggled to free himself,
but failed. As a last attempt to keep the power of time safe from the Koopa
Clan, he transferred his powers to four large yet smooth stones in the
dungeon. He then cast one last spell, to spread the stones to the corners
of the Mushroom Kingdom. Sadly, the Mushroomer died after casting that
last spell. As far as it can be told, the power is gone forever… but if
one could gather the four Stones of Time, and bring them to the Temple
of Time, the power would reawaken, and the one who holds the Stones of
Time would slip them in the Bands of Time, and wearing them would cause
the wearer to control time. As of now, it is but legend…
The film ends, and around the room, Koopatrols are asleep and Magikoopas are sawing logs. Ludwig is the only one awake.
Ludwig: Um… King Dad?
Bowser: Zzzzzzzz…
Ludwig: KING DAD!
Bowser: *SNORT* Huh? What happened? Are we under attack?
Ludwig: Ahem…
Bowser: Oh yeah… the film… guess what?
Ludwig: What?
Bowser: IT STUNK! I DIDN’T CATCH A THING ON IT!
Ludwig: But King Dad, the film’s saying that if you collect the four Time Stones scattered throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, you can go back in time and then sabotage the Marios' future so that they never exist!
Bowser: YEAH AND… what did you say? … Heh heh heh! Get the rest of the Koopalings!
Suddenly, two soldiers run into the throne room.
Soldier #1: Sir! The prisoner has escaped!
Bowser: What? Which one?
Soldier #2: It’s… oh. Here he is.
Bowser, who is royally ticked off, jumps on the soldiers and crushes them. At the same time, the remaining Koopalings enter the room.
Bowser: So… Ludwig… where are the stones?
Ludwig: Well… er… you see… the book and film only said that the stones were scattered and did not give the locations of the stones. But, in the back of this book is a map with clues relating to the location of the Time Stones.
Bowser: Your point is?
Ludwig: We need to solve a series of riddles to uncover the stones.
Bowser: Okay, break up! Roy, Morton, go to the southeastern kingdom.
Roy: What? I have to go with Big Mouth here?
Morton: I think that is a good, great, excellent, superb, wonderful, and amazingly ingenious idea that me, myself, and I should go with Roy, Bully, the fireball-hating Koopaling, and the- MPH!
Bowser and half the Koopalings take some tape and duct tape Morton’s mouth shut.
Roy: Got some for the road?
Lemmy: Knock yourself out!
Roy takes a burlap sack of duct tape with him out the front door.
Bowser: Wendy, Larry, you cover the northeastern kingdom.
Larry: Affirmative!
Wendy and Larry run out the door.
Bowser: Lemmy, Iggy, go to the southwestern kingdom.
Lemmy: Gotcha!
Iggy runs out of the room, Lemmy rolls.
Bowser: Ludwig, you take the northwestern kingdom.
Ludwig: And you, King Dad?
Bowser: When you have all the stones, bring them to the Temple of Time. I’ll be waiting there. GO!
Ludwig runs out the door. Bowser walks to his room and smirks.
Bowser: Ooh, I’ll travel back in time alright. But I won’t destroy the Marios. Heh heh heh!
At their house, Mario and Luigi are packing a, er, “light” lunch for the ceremony.
Mario: Come on, Luigi! We need more than twenty pickled Mushroom subs and twenty-five more tuna sandwiches if we wish to make it through the ceremony!
Luigi: Mario, I don’t know. Why do we need so much food? Are you giving it away?
Mario: No. I’ve been saving an appetite. I haven’t eaten in three days!
Luigi: 0_o
Meanwhile…
Ludwig: Is everyone in position?
Ludwig holds up a walkie-talkie.
Other Koopalings: Yeah.
Ludwig: Okay. Let me see…
Ludwig, who is monitoring outside the Marios’ house (to ensure they do not stop them), unfolds the map and looks at it.
Ludwig: Hmm… okay. Roy, Morton, you will find your stone in the Dry, Dry Desert… somewhere. The first clue says to travel to the largest branch in the desert.
Roy: What does that mean?
Roy puts his walkie-talkie away and grumbles. He grabs Morton, who is now tied from head to toe in duct tape, and jumps down the ledge. He treks a mile into the desert, using Morton as a human flyswatter against the Pokeys.
Roy: It’s a good thing Morton’s so hardheaded. Probably why he never stops.
Morton: MMM!
Roy slams Morton against a rock to shut him up. He continues until he reaches a large cliff.
Roy: Whew! How far is this desert?
Suddenly, a giant Klepto snatches Morton and takes him to its nest on top of the cliff.
Roy: That’s it! The Klepto here uses large branches to build its nest!
Roy climbs the mountain gradually, using some extra duct tape to pass the Pokeys. Finally, he reaches the nest. Luckily, the Klepto is gone, so Roy pulls his walkie-talkie out.
Roy: I’ve found the branch.
Ludwig: Good. Now roll down the south edge of the cliff and wait 'til you stop. Dig until you reach the stone.
Roy puts the walkie-talkie away and is about to roll when he spies Morton in the nest, struggling to free himself.
Roy: I know I should… Nah!
Roy starts to roll down the hill, with a frantic Morton struggling to follow. Eventually, Roy stops 100 feet south of the cliff. He pulls a shovel out and starts to dig. An hour passes and nothing is dug up.
Roy: I wonder if I’m in the right place. If not, I’ll pound Ludwig. I’ll-
Suddenly, the shovel hits something and vibrates. Roy starts to dig with his hands until he finds a smooth stone with a carving of a flame in it. Roy stares at it for a few seconds before pulling out the walkie-talkie.
Roy: Ludwig… I found it.
Ludwig: Excellent! Now take it to the Temple of Time immediately!
Roy: Roger! Over and out!
Roy puts the walkie-talkie away just as Morton runs up to the hole. Somehow, he had managed to free himself from the tape, and you can guess what results.
Morton: What was the hassle, rustle, bustle, and muzzle when you left, abandoned, stranded, and marooned me, myself, and I with that big, large, giant, and enormous bird, Klepto, hawk, and-
SMACK!
Morton: Ewer kef fief dhow ked…
Morton falls to the ground in a bloody mess. Since there is not enough tape left, Roy uses the next best thing to shut Morton up- the shovel. Roy mumbles to himself and picks Morton up. After an hour of hiking, they leave the Dry, Dry Desert.
Ludwig: Okay. Wendy, Larry: Roy and Morton have found what they’re looking for, so now it’s your turn. Go to the pirate ship and look for the mark of a pirate.
Wendy: Roger!
Larry returns from the ship with a bag of gold.
Wendy: Where did you get that?
Larry: Um… It’s our interest from the bank…
Wendy: … Okay… Report on your scout of the ship.
Larry: I’ve found nothing unusual except these pirate ghosts that followed me from the wreck. They’re a lively group.
Wendy looks behind him to see a ghostly table with twenty ghostly pirates sitting around it playing a ghostly game of Poker.
Pirate Ghost #1: Got any 5s?
Pirate Ghost #2: Rupert, for the last time in two hundred years, this isn’t Go Fish! It’s Poker!
Rupert: Oh. Okay, Benny.
Wendy: Uh-huh. A very lively group.
Benny: There’s nothing lively about us!
Larry: What’s the word from Ludwig?
Wendy: Look for the mark of the pirate.
Rupert: Aye! Ye mean the Roger Jolly.
Benny: The Jolly Roger, ye idiot!
Wendy: Where is it?
Benny: It isn’t there anymore! It rotted away years ago! There is one on Rupert, though…
Rupert pulls his shirt up and shows a flag with crossbones on it tattooed on his chest.
Wendy: … Okay…
Wendy pulls out the walkie-talkie.
Wendy: Okay. What’s the next clue?
Ludwig: Look for a secret message in the bones.
Wendy: Huh?
Larry looks at the bones in the tattoo as a frown crosses his face.
Larry: Forget this! Hey pirates, have you seen a smooth stone with some elemental symbol carved into it?
Benny: Aye! Carl has one in his booty! Carl, get it for the boy, shall ye?
Carl disappears and returns later with a smooth, yet recently polished stone with a drop of water carved into it.
Benny: But! Before we hand ye this, return the rest of our booty!
Wendy: Rest… of… LARRY!
Larry looks at the sack, sighs, and hands it to Benny, who hands the stone over without a problem.
Benny: To tell ye the truth, we never liked that stone. Bad luck to us. It was the thing that sunk our ship. Plowed right through the poop deck.
Wendy: Harsh!
Wendy holds up the walkie-talkie.
Wendy: We got this one secured, Ludwig!
…
Wendy: Ludwig?
Meanwhile…
Ludwig: 120 coins!
Mario: 140!
Ludwig: 160!
Mario: 200!
Ludwig: 23!
Mario: 25!
Ludwig: Deal! Now hand over that "oh my gosh it’s giant" 1-mile-long chocolate-coated sugar and spice sandwich.
Wendy: LUDWIG!
Ludwig jumps and looks at the walkie-talkie.
Ludwig: Heh heh heh... Let me take this call…
Ludwig runs behind a bush and turns on the receiver.
Ludwig: What is it? I was making a perfect bargain with someone.
Wendy: We have found the gray birdie.
Ludwig: What?
Wendy: We’ve located the little boulder.
Ludwig: What?
Wendy: WE’VE FOUND THE TIME STONE, YOU IDIOT!
Ludwig pulls his head from the walkie-talkie, shivers, and responds to his sister.
Ludwig: Brilliant! Venture to the Temple of Time! There’s still work to do!
Wendy: Over and out! (Idiot!)
Wendy puts the walkie-talkie away and she and Larry leave the ship.
Larry: Heh! And just think! We didn’t get wet!
Wendy pushes Larry into the bay before she steps off the dock. Larry screams so loud, the camera lens shatters. Wendy walks away laughing.
Ludwig: Iggy, Lemmy, it is time to roll! Go to Lavalava Island and search the path outside the volcano.
Iggy: Okay. Lemmy, are you ready to roll?
Lemmy: … I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an offense…
Iggy and Lemmy storm up the trail at a rate that gradually gets quicker. Eventually, they reach the entrance to the volcano and look around.
Iggy: Search the path… Search the path… What does that mean?
Kolorado: Hello there, old bean.
Lemmy: Ahh! … Oh no… not you…
Iggy: You know him?
Lemmy: That’s Kolorado. He traveled through this volcano with Mario, but not to look for a Star Spirit. He was in it for the treasure in the volcano.
Kolorado: And what a treasure it was, and it was almost mine! But then Mario threw that… that… thing into the volcano, thus triggering a volcanic explosion, melting the treasure, my $399.95 gold-studded eye lens, and my only dream of becoming rich!
Lemmy: Jr. Troopa ran into him by accident. Ever since then, the Koopa clan has known him as crazy.
Kolorado: For all that I have done, all I have received is a giant burn on my back!
Kolorado shows a giant 4-foot burn an inch deep in his back.
Kolorado: IT’S THE SAME PAIN THAT HAS BEEN A PAIN TO ME FOR A YEAR NOW! I AM READY TO- fids…laky…ked…sylph…
Suddenly, Kolorado falls onto his back.
Kolorado: OWCH! … Fids…laky…ked…sylph…
Kolorado slips into a deep sleep. Iggy searches him and finds a dart about two inches long. The side of it says “Plit’s Sleepy Sheep Darts: Put anything to sleep with a single poke! Now lasts even longer! Warning: Too many darts at once will cause serious brain damage."
Lemmy: So… How many darts are in him?
Iggy: … Twenty-seven. Hmm… who fired them?
Lemmy: I hear the Yoshis on the island hate him and his food. It might be them. Those darts are only made on this island in the village.
Iggy: Yeah. But I can’t believe that one poke can-
Iggy accidentally pokes his finger on the needle. In the blink of an eye, Iggy is on the ground snoozing.
Lemmy: Oh boy. This is going to be a long day.
Lemmy grabs Iggy, flings him onto his shoulder, and rolls around the trail. He is nervous from the thought that the Yoshis might think he is with Mr. Crazy. Finally, he finds a trapdoor under a bush and finds a secret antechamber. At the end is a larger room with the Earth Time Stone on a pedestal near the back of the room.
Lemmy: Hmm… This is easy… too easy… Then again… this is easy…
Lemmy sets Iggy down on the floor, walks to the pedestal, and looks around it. There are no signs of any traps, according to a trap-disabling book Larry let him borrow.
Lemmy: Well, there must be some kind of trap…
Lemmy shrugs, closes his eyes, and swipes the stone from its pedestal. Nothing happens.
Lemmy: Huh… Guess it wasn’t booby-trapped after all.
But as soon as those words leave Lemmy’s mouth, the chamber starts to shake and roar as the pedestal sinks into the ground, shortly followed by a endless series of boulders falling out of the walls.
Lemmy: Stupid! I forgot pressure-sensitive traps! Didn’t get to that chapter yet…
Lemmy breaks for the door, but stops and looks back. Iggy is still laying next to the sunken pedestal with about twenty boulders about to run over him.
Lemmy: Darn it! I hate making these decisions. Should I risk my life for his or just save mine?
Lemmy darts for Iggy, having barely enough time to pick him up and run out into the antechamber and out the trapdoor. When he breaks the surface, Iggy wakes up.
Iggy: Whazza? What happened?
Lemmy: Oh. NOW you wake up. A BOULDER ALMOST CRUSHED YOU. Actually, IT WAS TWENTY BOULDERS!
Iggy is about to ask questions when a crash comes from the trees behind them. A tired and frantic Kolorado walks out of the foliage.
Iggy: Ahh! The tranquilizer must have worn off!
Kolorado: FUGI DEVINCI DK'S BUBBLE BATH!
Iggy: Huh?
Lemmy: Wait! The darts! They said too much of the serum can cause serious brain damage!
Kolorado: FIGERWIG HULDER HASSLE WIGGY!
Kolorado does a quick karate-chop to a nearby tree, disconnecting the tree from the stump. Kolorado picks it up and swings it at Iggy and Lemmy.
Lemmy: RUN!
Lemmy and Iggy jump and run from Kolorado and the massive 5-foot tree he is swinging. The Koopalings enter the village and nearly knock down a pair of Yoshis. When Kolorado emerges from the bushes, the Yoshis pull out some bamboo tubes and blow into them. Suddenly, Kolorado lands on his back again.
Kolorado: OWCH! … Fids…laky…ked…sylph…
Kolorado once again fall into a deep slumber with two darts in his forehead.
Lemmy: Whew… Thanks.
Yoshi: No problem. We’re going to ship him out to sea anyway.
Lemmy pulls out the walkie-talkie.
Lemmy: We have it, Ludwig.
Ludwig: Mokay. Mring it to mhe Memple of Mime.
Lemmy: Ludwig, are you eating again?
Ludwig: … *gulp* Maybe…
Lemmy puts the walkie-talkie away and he and Iggy sail off the island.
Ludwig: Okay. I guess that means the Thunder Time Stone is all that’s left. Let’s see… O_O
Ludwig stares at the map because the final stone is in…
Ludwig: T-t-the M-M-Mario B-Brothers’ h-h-house?!
Ludwig folds the map up and gulps. He peers inside the house and looks around. Luigi is in bed while Mario is in the kitchen. Ludwig sees the stone on the bedside next to Luigi.
Ludwig: You got to be kidding. How am I supposed to get to it?
Luigi then walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Mario walks by, locking the bedroom door.
Ludwig: Hmm… that’s it!
Later…
Where Ludwig was a moment ago, a small square hole now rests in the ground. The camera zooms down the hole, eventually coming to a burrowing Ludwig wearing a mining helmet.
Ludwig: Hmm… I should be under the bedroom now. Better surface!
Ludwig starts digging what seems to be up. A while later, he breaches the tiles above him. He finds himself sitting in a sink.
Ludwig: Hmm… Must be a… tile bedroom…
Ludwig looks to his left to see Luigi behind a newspaper on the toilet. Luigi looks at Ludwig and screams.
Luigi: AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ludwig: Oh my DAD! I’m in the bathroom!
But when Ludwig is about to shield his eyes, he suddenly realizes that Luigi’s pants aren’t down and the toilet lid is down. Luigi is also holding a pair of scissors.
Luigi: Can’t a guy clip coupons in the privacy of his own bathroom?
Ludwig: Oops… GANGWAY!
Ludwig busts the door down and grabs the stone. He jumps toward the door to the hall. Except…
WHAM!
Ludwig: Ow…
Ludwig jumps out the window instead and makes a break for the Temple of Time.
Luigi: Mario! Ludwig took our good luck stone! Unlock this door.
Mario: Okay. Just let me finish packing.
Luigi: NO! OPEN THE DOOR NOW!
Later, at the Temple of Time…
Bowser: Grrr… WHERE IS HE?
Roy: He said he was on the way.
Morton: Ohm… What happened, occurred, and-
CONK!
Wendy: Nice use of shovel, Roy.
Suddenly, a Koopatrol walks up with a basket and a blanket. He lays the items out and starts to feast.
Bowser: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Koopatrol: I’m picnicing. I heard we were coming to these beautiful meadows, so-
Bowser jumps on the Koopatrol, throws it back to the castle, and checks the basket.
Bowser: Figures. No meat.
As Bowser burns the basket and the food, Ludwig runs up.
Ludwig: *huff…puff…huff…puff…* I’m… here…
Bowser: Finally! Now hand that Time Stone to me!
Ludwig hands the stone over. Bowser holds all four over his head.
Bowser: … What’s going on? I thought I would have that power by now.
Ludwig: Ahem… King Dad, you need to insert those in the Bands of Time in the temple and then wear them.
Bowser goes in the temple and sees a relic with four bands on it: one tiara, two bracelets, and a belt, each with an empty slot for a Time Stone. Bowser removes the bands, put them on, and insert a Time Stone in each.
Bowser: They don’t exactly fit, but-
Suddenly, the room lights up as the Time Stones start to flash. They emit a glow of power as the glow eventually surrounds Bowser. A strange and ancient symbol appears on the ground, sort of like the one in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Suddenly, after a quick flash, all the light disappears, the stones and Bowser stop glowing, and the symbol on the floor disappears.
Bowser: … Nothing happened! I don’t feel any stronger! Ludwig, you’re going back to-
Suddenly, a energy bolt fires from Bowser’s hand as he points it to Ludwig, who tries to run but freezes when the bolt hits him. Larry waves his hand in front of Ludwig, but Ludwig doesn’t even blink.
Lemmy: Wow. You froze him in time. It did work, King Dad!
Bowser: It did! Now to proceed with the plan. You six move out of the temple with Ludwig. I got some plans to do.
However, when the Koopalings walk outside, they are whacked back into the temple by two giant Ultra Hammers.
Bowser: No! Not yet!
Mario and Luigi run into the temple and whack every trooper into a wall. Eventually, they are standing before the King of the Koopas himself.
Bowser: Grrr… I despise you Marios! Now, I will have my revenge! Using the power of time, I will go back in time and change your pasts.
Mario: You mean you’re going to kill us?
Bowser: No, of course not.
Luigi: But then what?
Bowser: Mwahaha! I will make you my loyal servants, of course!
Mario: NO!
Bowser, using the powers of the Time Stones, creates a time warp which he steps through. Before Mario and Luigi can follow him, the warp closes.
Mario: NO! It can’t be! Now how are we going to-
Suddenly, a time warp appears behind them. When they turn around, two pairs of hands grab them and pull them into the warp. As soon as that warp closes, another warp opens. Bowser steps out of it with two babies in his hands. He looks around and, after believing that the old Marios are out of his life, laughed.
Bowser: Yes! Oh, yeah! One of my plans finally has succeeded! Now time to raise these guys from scratch.
Bowser laughs to the sky, not knowing that the old Marios are actually traveling through time, to the future…
End of Part 1