Larry's Rescue Mission

By Agahnim Koopa

Chapter 8

Larry is walking through a dark city. After the wastelands of Minter and Prince Fire Boo, the urban landscape feels much nicer. Several battles against strong opposition has worn him out, but he knows he has to continue. The fate of his family depends on him! And yet, he has walked for several miles with no rest… And he knows he has no hope if more soliders come. Larry stands there, debating with himself. He finally reaches a decision. Finding a ruined building, he lays his head. No one can fight while half-asleep. He would take two hours sleep, and then exit.

45 minutes into his sleep, a rumble comes from upstairs. Larry is up in an instant. Turning around wildly, he looks towards some steps and sees… a barrel, hurtling directly towards him! He quickly jumps over it. In his head, he is thinking quickly. Wasn’t something like this mentioned in a know-thy-enemy lesson at school?

Mr. Powell: Larry, pay attention! The first game featuring Mario that Nintendo bothered to make was called Donkey Kong. In this game, Donkey Kong threw barrels at Mario from a ruined building.

Larry: This seems weird…

Larry climbs the stairs to the next floor, dodging barrels, and sees Donkey Kong at the top.

Larry: Donkey? What are you doing here? Did Mario send you?

Donkey Kong: Mario? MARIO? He not send me! Me want Mini Mario! Me no get one! Me just want to relive old times.

Larry: Oh, good.

Donkey Kong: Larry no understand SARCASM?! Of course Mario send me! He want rid of you! Plus, this own domain! Me at home here! Larry never beat Donkey Kong on home ground!

Larry: Aw, man.

Larry unsheathes his sword and stabs at DK. DK moves, grabs the sword, and climbs up to the next level. Larry follows.

Larry: My sword!

DK: My toy!

Donkey Kong is now unleashing fireballs. Larry dodges them all quickly and immediately sees the task at hand. This floor is just like Level 4 of Donkey Kong, only ten times bigger. He has to remove 50 pegs to kill Donkey Kong and get the sword back!

Larry: This won’t be easy…

Larry jumps to the first tier and removes the 10 pegs from there first. But the fireballs have closed in and are heading towards Larry, leaving him with no escape.

Larry: Oh dear, what a hassle.

Larry suddenly has a brainstorm. He throws out some darts and kills all the fireballs.

Donkey Kong: DK say that no fair!

Larry jumps up to the next tier, but now it is too far up to jump to the upper levels. From now on, he must run and find ladders. He runs along the platform, collecting the pegs, but new fireballs, unleashed at the bottom, have started to climb up onto the platforms and are closing in. Trying to ignore this, Larry climbs up to Tier 3 and starts to collect the pegs there. In the middle of the tier, however, he turns and sees the fireballs surrounding him. Panic-stricken, he climbs to Tier 4 and runs at full pelt, ignoring the hot flame coming from the things directly behind him.

Larry: Up to Tier 5!

Running along, he collects nine pegs, but the flames have caught up to him and cornered him. He knows he doesn't have enough poison darts. Thinking quickly, he leaps over the flames and lands on…

Larry: Peg Number 50!

Donkey Kong and the flames fall to the ground and are instantly killed. Larry jumps down to the bottom and retrieves the sword.

Larry: Tut tut, Mario. You really must try harder next time.

Then Larry goes back to the ground floor, curls up, and goes back to sleep.

Chapter 9

Mario is sitting down in his room, thinking. It felt good to get ultimate revenge on the Koopas. No more "jump on their head and hope that’ll teach 'em". They couldn’t be resurrected. The television flickers on. Mario, without even looking, responds.

Mario: Hello, Luigi.

Luigi: Have you heard the news? Donkey Kong is dead.

Mario: WHAT?! I thought that Donkey would obliterate Larry!

Luigi: Well, he didn’t. Plus, Larry said you need to try harder.

Mario: That little termite! I’ll kill him!

Mario thinks.

Mario: I’ll arrange another enemy. Soon, Larry will be in the castle. I’ll crush him there. On the positive side, at least Nintendo can’t make any weird Mario vs. Donkey Kong sequels now.

Chapter 10

Larry is heading into a bright light.

Larry: The castle!

And so it is. Toads are running about everywhere, getting Fried Mushroom and taking it up to a room. Larry decides to follow them. He spots a Toad and follows it up some stairs and into a dark room. The door clangs shut, and is mechanically locked.

Larry: What’s happening?

Toad: You are stupid. You follow me, believing me to be a Toad? You have lead yourself to your doom.

A light comes on, and the Toad changes swiftly into…

Larry: Wario?!

Wario: Yes, it is I, Wario, and…

Another, taller Toad runs onto the scene and turns into…

Larry: Waluigi?

Waluigi: Yes, Larry, and…

A third figure runs into the room. It has dark skin, and looks like an enemy of Bowser Larry had seen in Mario World, only…

Larry: Who are you?

Wayoshi: I am pure evil, I am Wayoshi!

Larry: So, you all plan to kill me. But, you won’t.

Wario: We’ll see about that!

Wario brings out several items from his pocket. They are:

An apple
A hammer
A bat
A zombie
A bee
A cold monkey
A flamethrower
A snowball
A bubble
A crusher

Larry: All the items from Wario Land 4. So what?

Waluigi pulls out his tennis racket.

Larry: Wow, a tennis racket.

Wayoshi makes several watermelons appear.

Larry: Wow, watermelons! I’ll never recover from the shock!

Wario: Fight!

Wario picks up the apple and eats it. He instantly becomes fat, and starts plodding over towards Larry. Waluigi uses his racket to flood the room, as in Mario Power Tennis. Wayoshi makes a little alcove above his head, using his fire breath. Larry has an incredible dilemma. Wario will kill him with his items if he doesn’t stop him. Waluigi will kill Wario and Larry if Larry doesn’t stop him. Wayoshi is no threat. Meanwhile, Wario is heading directly towards Larry, his belly flopping everywhere.

Larry: Fat isn’t exactly deadly, y’know.

Wario: I know.

Wario brings out the bat and the flamethrower. He sets himself alight.

Wario: Oww!

Then he quickly gets the bat to bite him. Now Larry is facing a fat, flaming Wario who can fly. However, Waluigi’s flood hits Wario. Wario, undisturbed, bites Larry. Larry takes to the skies as a vampire bat.

Waluigi: Halfway there!

Larry charges Wario, but his fat repels it. Wario charges Larry, who collapses and lands on the ground. Wayoshi comes towards him with fire in his mouth. Larry, having lost the vampire bat effect, grabs the bee and sets it on himself. This is why Wario falls out of the sky, having been hit by Larry with a puffy face. Larry, meanwhile, accidentally floats up into the alcove made for Wayoshi. He watches from above as Wario, Waluigi, and Wayoshi all drown in the water. Larry suddenly… wakes up?

Larry: You mean that whole battle was all a dream? Man, that stinks.

Suddenly a hand starts to strangle Larry…

Chapter 11

In Mario’s room, the plumber sits thinking. He had never known about Wayoshi until very recently; in fact, it was only after the trial that he found out. He still knows very little about him; all he knows is that he is from Sub-con and was Wart’s right-hand man. He knows that Larry will stand no chance against him. He knows that Larry’s escapade is over.

Chapter 12

Larry looks at the mysterious figure with its hand round his neck. He recognizes it immediately.

Larry: Wayoshi? I just killed you.

Wayoshi: I made you dream that. Everything that happened there was my own creation, apart from your reactions. I controlled the others, however. If you had died, that would have reflected in real life. When you killed me, I simply exited the dream. Your victory was unexpected, but then I hardly did anything. In a solo battle, I always win. I have no desire to end that now.

Wayoshi relinquishes his grip on Larry, and backs off. Then he charges, with the force of an angry rhino, directly at Larry. Quickly, Larry dodges and… falls asleep?

Larry: What?!

Larry dreams a massive Piranha Plant coming straight at him. It grabs him in a tendril and throws him towards his mouth, but Larry thrusts the sword into its upper mouth and it squeals and dies. Then he wakes up again. In reality, Wayoshi leaps up above him and does a stomp attack, straight towards Larry. He quickly dodges and falls asleep again. A giant boulder is coming down, straight on top of him! He quickly dodges, but then it rolls down a hill, towards him! Quickly, Larry rushes down the hill, unaware of what is coming. Finally he sees a large pit, and leaps across it with incredible power. The boulder falls in. Then he wakes up.

Wayoshi: Why do you resist?

Wayoshi grabs Larry by the neck again.

Wayoshi: Join me, Larry. You have formidable skills, and would be a welcome addition to Mario’s army. Your family has already joined…

Larry: No!

Larry touches Wayoshi’s head, and Wayoshi falls asleep.

Wayoshi: He thinks he can outdream me!

Wayoshi only stays asleep for a couple of seconds before breaking out of it.

Wayoshi: Ha! I’m the master of dreams! You think you can beat me in the subconscious mind?!

Wayoshi grabs Larry again and throws him asleep, into a world of Thwomps heading straight for him!

Larry: Keep focused…

Larry thinks of himself awake, leaping about with his family. Then he wakes up and tackles Wayoshi once more. Feeling stronger, he grabs Wayoshi and throws him into a vicious nightmare.

Wayoshi: He doesn’t know when to quit!

Wayoshi tries to free himself, but to his surprise, he finds it a struggle. He sees Thwomps coming straight for him. Struggling to change them, he does manage. Just as they reach him, they turn into Thwimps, which leap harmlessly over him. Then he wakes up, and grabs Larry. This continues for several minutes, until…

Larry: I’ve got him again!

Wayoshi looks up and sees a gigantic Thwomp heading straight for him! He quickly leaves the dream.

Wayoshi: Your powers are too great. Only the best can summon a Thwomp of that size. I will leave to hone my skills, but this isn’t the last you’ll hear of me.

Wayoshi leaves. Once he is gone, Larry picks his family picture out of his backpack.

Larry: Guys, you never would have joined him, would you? Please no…

Chapter 13

The dungeon. All is quiet. Ludwig is making last-minute additions to the sleeping gas, with notes on a laptop. Lemmy is working on a laptop, muttering about Fun Fiction. Roy is working on another laptop, muttering about boxing. Iggy is running a casino on a laptop. Wendy is getting emails asking pointless questions about shells. Morton is basically playing. But all this is a cover. In reality, there are on a chatroom on the web, discussing battle plans.

Bowser: Ludwig, you have the sleeping gas?

Ludwig: Ves.

Bowser: Good. Now, when Larry comes…

A random person logs on. His avatar suddenly gets burnt. He leaves.

Bowser: When Larry comes, we make a break for it out the door. They’ll most likely be security details, but we’ll beat them. Morton and Lemmy, you’ll be vital I think, so keep out of danger. Meeting dismissed.

Everybody goes back to their cover.

Chapter 14

Larry is in the city, and this time he knows it’s for real. The city is sparkling, just as it did in his dreams. Walking through it, he finds a costume store. Several minutes and a bloodcurdling scream later, Larry leaves dressed as a human. Walking through the city once more, he sees a sign announcing the gallows. Following the sign, he sees a gruesome sight. The gallows are there as can be expected, but beneath them, where the half-dead body will hang, are sharp spikes, ready to tear the bodies to shreds.

Larry: This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Human: What did you say?

Larry: I said, err, this is the least disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life?

Human: No, you said most!

Human 2: You’re one of them!

Human: I’m Ben, chief of security here at Mushroom Kingdom.

Human 2: And I’m Aidan, the executioner.

Ben and Aidan: And we think we should have a word with you in our office.

Ben and Aidan frogmarch Larry up some stairs and into a room with no windows and one door.

Ben: Ok, take off your costume.

Larry: What costume?

Aidan: Take it off now, or I’ll get practice for tomorrow.

Larry, realizing he is beaten, slips off his human outfit.

Ben: It’s Larry!

Aidan: The missing Koopa!

Ben: Dressed as a mountaineer, I see.

Aidan: I’ll take care of you with the others tomorrow.

Larry: We’ll see about that.

Larry quickly whips out his sword and thrusts it towards Ben, but misses.

Ben: Oh, we’re playing properly now, are we?

Ben reaches to pull out a gun, but he dies thanks to a ninja star in his chest. Aidan draws a massive laser and an axe from his belt.

Aidan: My comrade! I’ll get you for that!

Aidan fires a massive laser blast at Larry, who collapses. Aidan stands over him triumphantly. But, as he brings the axe down, Larry stabs him in the chest. However, he is not killed, thanks to some body armor. Larry jumps up and dashes out the room, locking the door. He rushes out and steals a small device. In a few minutes, he returns and sticks it onto the door. It is an air sucking device, able to suck all the air out of a room. Inside, Aidan suddenly feels suffocated. He dies painlessly. Larry opens the door, kicks Aidan’s body over to a corner, and goes to sleep.

Chapter 15

Mario is resting in his room, thinking. He knows he has won. The hanging is tomorrow, and Larry never showed. But why does he feel so weak? He doesnn’t have Larry. The thought reverberates in his head. He had missed one of the scum. He vows a solemn oath, there and then, to find him… Then, the television flickers on. Luigi’s face appeared.

Luigi: Mario, big news.

Mario: What?

Luigi: Ben and Aidan are dead. Larry killed them.

Mario: What?! Where is he? I’ll slaughter him!

Luigi: We don’t know. We do need a new executioner, you know.

Mario: I’ll do it.

Luigi: Are you trained?

Mario: Why do I need training? A simple push of a lever, they’re dead. Then the spikes do the work. Voila. We have no worries. This game is over.

Chapter 16

All the Koopas are standing outside at noon. There is a large crowd by the gallows. Mario is standing up by the gallows too. The jury of the court case is all watching too.

Mario: Fellow Mushroomers, this is the punishment of Bowser Koopa, Clawdia Koopa-

Crowd: Yeah, we know!

Mario: -who were sentenced on the 6th to hang by the neck until dead, for crimes far too many to list. Will the Koopas please stand on the trapdoor?

After a lot of shoving from the guards, all the Koopas are on the trapdoor. Mario secures ropes round the Koopas' necks. The ropes are all fire resistant.

Mario: On 5, I will pull this lever and send them down onto the spikes.1 , 2, 3, 4…

Bowser: I lov-

Larry: Hiyahh!

Everyone turns around and sees Larry leaping straight towards them.

Mario: Guards! GET HIM!

Mushroomers with swords all leap towards Larry, but he beats them off. Mario leaps toward the lever in an attempt to push it, but Larry gets there first and slices it in half.

Larry: Guys, RUN!

Larry cuts all the ropes round the Koopas' necks with incredible accuracy and they all dash off. Seconds later, thousands of Boos, Piranha Plants, and Shy Guys surround Larry, courtesy of King Boo, Waluigi, and Yoshi. Knowing in his heart he is beat, Larry still attacks them all with extreme prejudice. Meanwhile…

Bowser: Everyone, keep moving!

Bowser and the rest are running along a road towards the exit. But in a tower nearby…

Luigi: Heh heh…

Alarms go off, and a solid brick wall appears. Bowser grabs the others in his shell and breaks it open. Then a weird wall of grass appears. Ludwig peers out of the shell and melts it.

Meanwhile, the Shy Guys had been utterly destroyed by Larry, but the Piranha Plants are starting to move in. The battle rages on.

While this is happens, a waterfall blocks the escaping Koopas' way. Lemmy freezes it, and Bowser shatters it. A solid brick wall looms, but Roy smashes it. An invisible wall then appears, but Iggy spots it, and directs Bowser past it. A firey wall is submerged by Wendy. Then several thousand vines grow there. Morton dries them, making them die from lack of water. As they run towards the exit, however, guards block them from every angle. Ludwig throws the sleeping gas and it puts everyone to sleep. They escape!

But as for Larry… He is lieing in a prison cell deep in the castle, weeping. He knows not of whether the Koopas escaped or died. All he knows is that the Boos overpowered him and carried him to the dungeon cell. What does Mario want with him?

Read on!

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