Paper Mario 1.5: The Eight Rods of Nib

By Lemmy's Campfire Tales

Chapter 5: Duo Koopas on Lavalava Island

They arrive on Lavalava Island in front of a pile of bricks and such that looks like it will soon be used for building something. Suddenly, a flash of light goes by and the building is completely built.

Kamoosh: I take it Ludwig has the Speed one...

Suddenly, a giant raygun is built from scratch. They all rush into a temple built nearby. Inside they see Wendy and Ludwig talking.

Wendy: So how quick will this ray be finished?

Ludwig: Not to vorry. Ze shall destroy all by midnight!

The two Koopa siblings turn and spot them.

Ludwig: Zo, ve meet yet again, Mario.

Ludwig and Wendy dash off extremely quickly and a Hammer Bro with a light blue helmet and red shell drops from the ceiling growling.

Ludwig: Behold! My new genetic creation! His name is Hammer, and he vill be killing you today.

Goombario: Why is your voice so weird?

Ludwig: It's zis speed! It messies vith ze voice box.

Columbus: Let me at her! Let me at her!

Fice T: Chill, Columbus.

Fice T. restrains him.

Wendy: Let him try to beat me, I'm too fast! NYAH NYAH!

Hammer: Why must I fight these guys?

Ludwig: Because I made vu, und now vu must fulfill your destiny!

Hammer: I see. Prepare to die, Mario!

The two Koopas walk off laughing. Hammer pulls out a flaming hammer and throws it toward the heroes, then pulls out one made of ice.

Goombario: He must have the powers of all of the Bros!

Columbus: No, you think?

Goombario: Shut up.

Hammer begins throwing hammers wildly.

Boomus: Quick, an idea! Fice T, use the Rod of Water!

Fice T: Oh boy! My very own Rod to control!

Fice T. uses the Rod of Water, and some wading water comes in. Hammer's speed is lowered. He suddenly stops in place.

Hammer: I still have my trump card!

Hammer pulls out a card with a trumpet on it.

Hammer: Whoops, wrong card!

Hammer now pulls out a pair of boomerangs from his pockets. The boomerangs swoop around and go back inside his pockets. Hammer's pockets, as luck would have it, are underwater. Hammer then repeats the move.

Kamoosh: I've got another idea!

Kamoosh whispers the plan to everyone. As the boomerangs are swooping overhead, Mario pulls out the Ice Rod. When the boomerangs swoop inside Hammer's pockets, everyone jumps above water level. When Hammer reaches into his pockets, Mario, who is still in the air, freezes the water. Mario and his party land on top of the ice, while Hammer's hands are frozen in it.

Kamoosh: Yes! It worked!

Hammer: Stop! Please spare me! I didn't want to fight, or even work for the Koopas! If you spare me, I'll join you even.

Kamoosh: Should we trust him?

Mario: Why not?

Boomus explodes, melting the ice. Once free, Hammer puts away the boomerangs.

Hammer: I know this castle like the back of my hammer.

Goombario: Okay, that was lame.

Hammer: What?

Goombario: Never mind.

Mario: I'm overworked, and it's getting late. Can we set up camp?

Hammer: There's a clear spot just down the second left on the path ahead of us.

So, the party finds the path, the second left, and the clear spot. Mario takes from his pocket a Just-Add-Water tent he picked up back home and splashes some water on it. It instantly expands to fit everyone.

Mario: I-a wonder how I'll-a pack it up again...

Anyway, after everyone is ready, Columbus starts to float away. Goombario notices this.

Goombario: Where are you going?

Columbus: Just to the nearest bathroom. Why?

Goombario: Well, I just wanted to say... I believe you. You know, about Hudson?

Columbus: ...

Goombario: Well?

Columbus: ... Thank you.

Columbus then walks away. Once out of sight, he finds a small, abandoned shack with indoor plumbing. Columbus walks inside. Unbeknownst to him, however, Wendy is hidden nearby and locks him inside. Later in the night, Goombario can't sleep because he is worried about Columbus, so Kamoosh stays up with him. But they soon hear rustling in the bushes, so they decide to check this out. All they can find is Koopa prints. The next morning, they hear Ludwig nearby, along with another voice. They sneak up and listen quietly, spotting Ludwig speaking to a red Blooper, who they believe is Columbus.

Ludwig: I'd vike to personaily congratulate vou on ze brilliant perfomance vou put on to help us with zose mornic heroes.

The Blooper replies in a voice almoty exactly like Columbus's.

Blooper: Haha! Remember their reaction to that! And we took out those traitors wanting to take back Water Land too!

Ludwig: Wahahahohohohoho!

Goombario: I can't believe it.

Kamoosh: He was making it all up.

Boomus: I'll say it once and I'll say it again. You can't trust a Blooper.

Mario: Let's tiptoe back and pretend we didn't see this, and when Columbus comes back, we'll nail 'im.

So they walk back. At this time, Wendy finally unlocks Columbus, who returns to the camp and the glares of his comrades.

Columbus: You will never believe what happened to me. I was looking for a bathroom and the door closed and locked me in!

Fice T: A likely story, traitor.

Columbus: What?

Kamoosh: We trusted you. We let you fight with us and this is how you repay us? By working for the enemy?!

Columbus: I don't know what you mean.

Goombario: We thought you were our friend. But I guess that you just can't trust some people.

The gang walks away, leaving Columbus behind.

Columbus: Wait up, guys!

Mario: No, you stay there. Consider yourself officially booted from the team.

Columbus: That's it! I'll get my revenge!

Columbus runs away.

Kamoosh: See, Goombario? He's going to get revenge on us. He really IS working for the Koopalings.

Goombario: I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it! Maybe he meant revenge on Wendy?

Boomus: Don't work yourself into a trap, buddy.

Mario: This is all too frustrating. Let's just head to Ludwig's Castle.

Hammer leads the party to the castle, conviently unlocked as if it were a trap. But, when the party enters, there isn't anything in the first room except a door. And behind that door is the sound of two pairs of footsteps, a Koopa's and a Blooper's. Mario carefully opens the door to see what's coming next. Ludwig is in their view for a fraction of a second before he quickly begins running circles around them. Mario sticks his foot out, which Ludwig trips over. Ludwig hits the ground hard with a thud. They find that he has no Rod on him. Suddenly Wendy leaps down with the Rod in hand and charges at Mario, knocking him into a wall.

Wendy: Your power is useless against our intense speed!

Boomus: We're not afraid of you!

Ludwig: A pity.

Fice T: I just got an idea! Keep them busy.

Mario: Right. Hey, Koopalings! I bet you can't beat me if you both attack me at once and I don't use my arms!

Wendy and Ludwig: Let's get him!

While Mario distracts the Koopas with an array of jumps, Fice T. pulls out the Water Rod.

Goombario: What are you gonna do with that?

Fice T: I'm gonna fill this room with water up to our waist. It'll be too low to swim, yet too high to run.

After Fice T does so, the Koopalings find themselves unable to move fast. Goombario, out of the corner of his eye, sees a red Blooper about to attack.

Ludwig: Retreat!

Ludwig and Wendy stumble down a long hallway, with the Mario gang following. While this happens, Goombario is pulled aside into a closet.

Goombario: Columbus! You ARE trying to get revenge. I'm not afraid of you.

Columbus: No, that's not it, Goombario. I... need your help.

Goombario: What?! I thought you were in the room with Ludwig and Wendy!

Columbus: That was Hudson! Now listen, please.

Goombario: But-

Columbus: Please, help.

Goombario: Kay. You sound so modest.

Columbus: My friends are betraying me, I look like a convict, and I don't have a friend to my name anymore. You must help!

Goombario: I always knew you had such modesty in you all along.

Columbus: Thank you.

Goombario: So, what do we need to do?

Columbus: Well, we just can't beat up Hudson, because that would make me more guilty. Plus, it isn't respectful, and if there's one thing I learned from the Navy, it's that respect is a powerful thing. We must somehow reveal to the others that Hudson was the one tricking them all along, but how?

Goombario: I have a plan that, as they say, is so crazy, it just might work! Think about it. Knowing Ludwig, he wouldn't just rush into battle, so what do you think he has planned?

Columbus: I guess... but you'd better go ahead and go on now. I'll try to find him while you're busy.

Goombario rushes out and immediately a cage drops down on them. Columbus comes out and sees all of the heroes standing in a cage with Ludwig and Wendy laying in front of it out cold. A Blooper stands... err, FLOATS laughing.

Mario: But why, Columbus?

Hudson: Who? Oh, me. Because I never liked you! You and your "Oh, look at me! I'm so goody goody. I save princesses and stop evil from ruling the world" attitude make me sick to my tentacles.

Kamoosh: But why did you also knock out Wendy and Ludwig?

Hudson: Because I'm dishonest! The fools should have known that. They got what was coming to them, and now, so will you.

Columbus: Not so fast, you slime!

All: *gasp*

Goombario: We'll make you pay.

Hudson: I'll take you down, Goomba.

Columbus picks up the Speed Rod.

Columbus: You'll have to get through me first!

Columbus charges at Hudson and tackles his rival. The two begin slapping each other, then Hudson grabs the Rod out of Columbus's tentacle and begins spinning circles around him.

Hudson: I was always better than you Columbus, and I always will be!

Hudson starts running circles around Columbus, a very hard task mind you because Bloopers don't have any feet. All this while he is lashing out at Columbus, who is trying his best to block but is failing quickly. Eventually, Columbus is able to grap hold of him and throw him back. Now both very tried, panting heavily, they rest a minute, eyeing each other.

Hudson: You can never win. And you know it.

Columbus: Always with that ego that I once had not too long ago.

Goombario quietly sneaks behind Hudson.

Columbus: But I have learned that there is a greater power then what someone can do alone.

CLANK! A cage falls to the ground.

Columbus: That power is achieved through teamwork.

Hudson: You, you, I can't believe it! You'll never catch me! CHARGE! HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH- Whoop! *thud*

Goombario: Oops. Was that my foot? Hehehe.

Mario: I'll take that Rod now.

Hudson: No, wait! You would really defeat me with such odds as these? It isn't fair!

Columus: Who said you ever played fair? Hit it, Boomus.

Boomus: Right.

BOOM! Hudson flies through the roof!

Fice T: What an explosion! Your exploding move astounds me!

Boomus: Actually, I used Mistress Luck again. I wonder why it made him blow up?

Meanwhile, a plane belonging to the Ninjakoopas flies overhead.

Jr. Troopa: You know, teaming up with you four for an air assault on Mario is a great idea!

Red Ninjakoopa: Thanks!

Hudson crashes through the plane, causing it to fall down and crash in the ocean.

Jr. Troopa: That was a stupid idea. I knew it all along.

And back with Mario and the others...

Kamoosh: Columbus, I'm sorry I doubted you.

Columbus: Don't be sorry. If I wasn't conceited to begin with, things may have been easier for us all.

Fice T: I'm just glad you've learned modesty!

Columbus: Speaking of modesty, we have a surprise! I would have used it again, but I thought it would be better for someone else.

Columbus leads the party to the closet. Inside is a Super Block.

Goombario: So, who wants it?

Boomus: Mind if I have it?

Columbus: Be my guest!

Boomus uses the Super Block to power up and learn a new move: Air Explosion. It hits an enemy in the air. Meanwhile, Mario picks up the Rod of Speed.

Mario: That's 5/8 done! Yippee!

Goombario: Let's go a little easier. To Shy Guy's Toybox!


Goombario: Ok, to the tuna. THEN to Shy Guy's Toybox!

Whale: I'm a whale!

Chapter 6: Livin' Large in da Toybox

The group arrives in Toad Town and instantly heads for Shy Guy's Toybox. They hop inside, and inside they see Iggy, back to normal size, carrying a briefcase and wearing a hat. Kammy follows pleadingly. The group hides.

Iggy: Nuh uh, no way, never. I will NOT fight Mario! (to himself) Yet. Just take the Rod!

Iggy throws the Rod at Kammy, who catches it.

Kammy: Well, at least I have this Rod! Maybe I can get some more Brownie Points with Bowser if I stop those heroes from watching me right now. SHAZAAM!

A lightning bolt strikes at each of the heroes, blowing them into the air and out of the Toybox.

Mario: Let's follow Iggy, see why he doesn't want to fight us.

Goombario: Well, maybe he has finally come to his senses.

So they go to the Toad Town Plane Station that was just created last month. There they see Iggy in a very Casablanca-esque fasion, boarding a plane. Just for fun, the color is switched off.

Columbus: MY COLOR!

Boomus: AHH! I'm black!

Goombario: You were always black.

Boomus: Really?

Mario: Ah, the author just turned off the color 'cause the movie this particular part is spoofing was black-and-white.

Others: ...

Mario: Anyway... Iggy! Why don't you want to fight us?

Iggy: Duh! You're MARIO and I am IGGY.

Kamoosh: Yes... I guess we forgot you are Iggy...

Iggy: Alright, now just leave me in peace.

The plane takes off. They see it go out of sight. The six then rush back to the Toybox. As soon as they do, Iggy relands.

Iggy: My plan is almost complete!

Columbus: Anything seem wrong with that?

Columbus is met with an assortments of nopes, nuh uhs, and not reallys.

Columbus: Ok then, I guess we should get the Rod from Kammy then.

The party walks to the house with the Toybox, but a big Shy Guy is blocking the way.

Goombario: Hey, Gourmet Guy! Quit blocking the way!

Shy Guy: I'm not Gourmet Guy, I'm just a regular Shy Guy.

Mario: You're-a regular?

Kamoosh: Then I wonder how huge Kammy made Gourmet Guy?

Columbus: Listen, Shy Guy, can we please get past?

Shy Guy: Well, since you sound so modest, okay!

The Shy Guy lets the party go through.

Columbus: Wow, this modesty has many good points! I should have tried it some time ago!

Boomus then trips over a switch that just popped out of the ground. All the color comes back.

Boomus: I was wondering when this would happen...

So the party gets to the Toybox, but is met with another snag.

Mario: It's-a locked!

Boomus then preforms Mistress Luck, and Jr. Troopa falls through the roof, onto the floor, and drops the key to the Toybox.

Jr. Troopa: Ouch... Dropping at you guys from the sky wasn't such a good idea once you entered a building. Paralyzed... can't move.

Kamoosh: Now, revenge on Kammy for beating me up and kicking me out!

Columbus: Now now, revenge is a bad thing. Remember my revenge for Hudson and Wendy? I got kicked out of the group temporarily!

Mario unlocks the Toybox, and the party enters.

Mario: I-a thought it was-a Kamek who sent-a the Magikoopas.

Kamoosh: Kammy was one of the ones he sent. Let's go on.

As they go on, they find that in addition to having enlarged Shy Guys, some are now mutating into horrible monsters.

Goombario: So that is why it is called Body Modification... I wonder if it applies to age 'n stuff...

A large group of giant Shy Guys comes in carrying Kammy in a chair. The group hides more cleverly this time, and watches Kammy in front of a very young Shy Guy.

Kammy: This age has no use to me. Shazaam!

The Shy Guy suddenly grows up, and she then makes it giant.

Goombario: That answers my question...

Shy Guy: You know, you don't have to say shazaam and stuff.

Kammy turns him into a baby.

Mario: She's a monster, let's get her!

The partners hold him down as Kammy turns her head.

Kammy: Did you just hear something?

Goombario: Um, we're Shy Guys back here. Yeah.

Kammy: I don't believe you. High Guys, attack!

Kamoosh: Now it's my turn to step up.

Kamoosh shoots a lightning bolt at one of the Shy Guys, then flies into the air. He swoops toward Kammy, when suddenly a beam shoots from above and traps him in a magical ball. The beam also hits all of the others. Kamek flies down.

Kamek: You didn't expect Bowser to leave Iggy or Kammy without some power, did you?

Kamoosh: I should have known.

Mario: You planned this all along, didn't you?

Kamek: Of course. Now, Mario, I will finish whatIi started some odd amount of years ago.

Kamek starts charging up a powerful spell.

Goombario: Not if I can help it!

Goombario pushed his bubble, bouncing Mario out of harm's way. The spell, however, hits Goombario. All the bubbles pop because that one did.


Goombario: I'm... ok... Mario... stop him.

Kamoosh: He's still alive, but he'll need some rest. Time for me to finish what I started, Kamek. Time for the ultimate Magikoopa showdown!

The ccamera pans around to a cool pose scene with Mario, Kamoosh, Kamek, and Kammy ready to fight. Kamoosh and Kamek fly toward each other charging spells. Kamek instantly launches one and Kamoosh is trapped in a more powerful bubble.

Kamoosh: I really should think before I act around this guy...

Menwhile, Kammy is making blocks and throwing them at Mario. Mario dodges until there is enough, then he arranges them like a staircase and jumps on Kammy, knocking her off her broom. Kamoosh breaks out of the bubble by using a telekinetic spell and popping it with a triangular block. Then Kammy takes out the Body Modification Rod.

Kammy: Let's see how well you fight when you're the size of a fly.


Kammy: Huh? Where did it go?

Kamoosh: I knew the Speed Rod would come in handy! Think fast, Mario!

Mario: Got it!

Kammy: Wait! Is this really how you want revenge, Kamoosh? At such unfair odds?

Kamoosh: You're right. Mario, take the Rods and stand aside, I have a score to settle. Just me and Kammy.

Mario: Alright.

Kamek swoops in and grabs the Speed Rod.

Kamek: Let's fight also, Mario. For old times sake.

Fice T: Oh yeah. They get to fight, but what about us?

Suddenly, a terrifying roar is heard behind the party members not battling at the moment.

Columbus: It's... it's... GUYZILLA!

Hammer: No! It's Gourmet Guy enlarged a thousand times his regular size!


Fice T: Forget I asked.

And so, the party members rush towards Gourmet Guy, hoping to bring him down before he destroys all humanity. Mario, meanwhile, is beating Kamek badly. He eventually jumps backward and is about to shoot a fireball from a Fire Flower he picked up.

Kamek: Alright, game over. Twin Lightning!

Mario is struck by double bolts of lightning. Kamek then shoots a huge blast at Mario. He follows up by using his magic to throw Mario into the distance.

Kamek: Just like fighting Tanoomba...

Kamoosh, meanwhile, is losing to Kammy.

Kamoosh: Can't... move...

Kammy: Kamek, quick! Pass the Body Modification Rod!

Kamek: But I'm just going to pulverize Mario with it!

Suddenly, Kamoosh gets an idea.

Kamoosh: You'd better let Kamek use the Rod first. He's more skilled at magic than you, anyway.

Kammy: What did you say?

Mario quickly catches on.

Mario: Yes, Kamoosh is right. Kamek IS better than you!

Kamek: Well, I guess I AM the best!

Kammy: No you're not! They're just trying to trick us into fighting! Besides, if they should say anyone's the best, it's me!

Kamek: I had a feeling you'd say that! You're jealous about how I'm so much better than you!


Kammy shoots a magical blast at Kamek's hand, making Kamek let go of the Rod and send it soaring into the air.

Kamek: NOOOOOO!!!

The Rod flies straight into Gourmet Guy's mouth. Gourmet Guy grows 999 times over his current 100x size, becoming too big for the Toybox. He breaks out and starts rampaging in Toad Town, ruining everything.

Kamek: See what you've done, you twit! You caused our chance of winning to be swallowed by that fat Gourmet Guy!

Kammy: Who are you calling a twit?

Kamek: YOU! I'm calling YOU a twit! Nee-ner nee-ner nee-ner!


Kammy casts a spell so large and powerful, it blows everyone out of the Toybox! It also causes all of Kammy's energy to be drained.

Kamek: What have I caused?

Kammy: Save... yourself...

Kamek: Oh no! She's dying! I must get the Rod of Body Modification to revert her back to life! You!

Mario: Me?!

Kamek: Yes, you! You must retrieve the Rod of Body Modification for me!

Goombario: And what's in it for us?

Kamek: Listen, just do it, or a life will be lost today! I can't help you myself, for I have to make sure Kammy lives long enough for the spell to be cast! But I can provide help.

A White Shy Guy walks up to Mario.

White Shy Guy: Hi, I'm Rescue Guy! I saved the Yoshis from Bowser's Castle, and I'm really friendly! I've been imprisoned for some time now, but I can help!

Goombario: Can we trust this... this Guy?

Columbus: Hey, you trusted me, and see how I turned out?

Mario: Okay, you can join. Now, let's get that Rod from Gourmet Guy!

So, the group runs out and finds Gourmet Guy.

Mario: Gourmet Guy, why are you doing this?

Gourmet Guy: Because I can! And nobody can stop me!

Mario: Wanna bet?

Others: Charge!

Rescue Guy, Kamoosh, and Columbus take to fighting in the air while the others handle the ground. Gourmet Guy swats at the three flying in front of him. Kamoosh shoots a blast of energy at Gourmet Guy, and Rescue Guy flies at him.

Gourmet Guy: I wonder what a Shy Guy tastes like...

He eats Rescue Guy.

Gourmet Guy: Tastes like... sandpaper...

Mario: Oh my goodnes!

Boomus: Gourmet Guy just ate Rescue Guy!

Fice T: I wonder if i can have his stereo...

Others: FICE T!

Then, all of a sudden, there's a rumbling.

Gourmet Guy: I don't feel so good. Like something is... ooohhh.

Kamoosh: Something tells me this is gonna be gross...

Rescue Guy comes flying out of Gourmet Guy's mouth, covered in saliva and stomach acid.

Rescue Guy: So... gross...

Columbus: Yay! He's all right!

Rescue Guy: And I found this in there.

Kamoosh: That's the Body Modi Rod!

Gourmet Guy: What?

General Guy reverts to his original size.

Mario: Three cheers! Hip hip!

Boomus: Not now, Mario. We must get this back to Kamek!

Fice T: Darn, now where will I find a stereo? Why is everyone looking at me like that?

So they arrive at Shy Guy's Toybox, now completely fixed due to the miracles of tape and used gum. They go over to where Goombario and Kamek are standing over Kammy.

Kamek: Do you have the Rod?

Mario: Right here.

Kamek: You know, this changes nothing between us.

Mario: I know.

Kamek: Here goes nothing.

Kamek heals Kammy and then shoots a beam at Mario from the Body Modification rod, and then all of the others except Kamoosh really quickly. When some smoke clears, all of the ones hit are babies.

Kamek: Now, let's do this!

Kamoosh: Alright.

Kamoosh kicks the wand and Rod out of Kamek's hands, then tosses him into Kammy, knocking both into a wall.

Kamoosh: You know I'm physically the toughest of the Magikoopas.

Kamoosh draws a staff.

Kamek: What's that supposed to do?

Kamoosh: Hurt you.

Suddenly, the staff glows with green power.

Kamek: O_O

Kammy: I'm too weak to fight... but take this!

Kammy pulls out a staff from her cloak and tosses it to Kamek. When Kamek catches it, it begins to glow with blue power. All of a sudden, the Shy Guys build a Star Wars set around the two fighters. It is like the battle of Luke against Darth, the time Darth said he was Luke's father. Anyway, Kamoosh has cornered Kamek, but then Rescue Guy pounces on Kamoosh.

Rescue Guy: Sorry, but my priorities are for Kammy, and Kammy alone.

Kamek: Excellent work, Rescue Guy! Now, to finally finish this off, I'll-

Suddenly, a magical blast knocks the staff out of Kamek's hand. When Kamoosh peers in the direction the shot came from, he sees it came from Merlon.

Merlon: Drat! Wrong Magikoopa! I almost had revenge for you leaving me frozen in the Desert, but then Kamek ruined things! But I'll have revenge!

Merlon exits the Toybox. The first characters he sees are the Ninjakoopas, Jr. Troopa, and Hudson.

Green: I tell you, getting Mario and the others to be defeated by us won't be an easy task!

Hudson: Hey look, it's the fortune teller!

Merlon: Darn those guys, I WILL have revenge!

Jr. Troopa: Hey, why don't you join us to make one big revenge-seeking super group?

So Merlon joins them. Meanwhile, back in the Toybox, Kamek has just grabbed the staff back when...

Baby Boomus: Goo Goo Ga!

Baby Boomus had somehow performed Mistress Luck. But it was bad luck. Both staffs shoot a full power blast at the Star Wars setting, causing it to revert back to the Toybox setting. This also used up the power in both staffs, turning the fight into a basic hand-to-hand combat match, with staffs. Kamoosh easily beats Kamek in hand-to-hand combat, and soon Kamek runs off, grabbing his wand and the Rod and running. He flis into the air, then looks back.

Kamek: Let's see how tough you'll be when you're in diapers!

Kamek shoots a blast from the Rod which hits a mirror left over from the Star Wars set. The blast bounces off and behind Kamek.

Kamek: Oh well, I'll just fire another shot!

Kamoosh: I don't think you'll have time. Look behind you.

Kamek looks behind himself. He sees that the beam bounced off of various other object. Then it bounces straight out of the Toybox. Meanwhile...

Jr. Troopa: So, have any defense spells?

Merlon: Of course!

Merlon casts a spell that causes a bubble-like aura to protect the group. Then the beam that exits the Toybox bounces off of the aura and back into the Toybox. The beam bounces off of the same objects as before, but in reverse. After it hits the mirror, it gets sent back to Kamek, who is in turn affected by the spell.

Baby Kamek: Goo Goo!

Kamoosh: I guess I'll take that Rod now!

Kammy: Not so fast!

Kammy, on broomstick because she's too weak to walk, snatches up the Rod.

Kammy: Now, let's fight!

Kammy shoots a blast from the Rod herself, but it is into the air out of the Toybox. A blast comes flying back and hits Kamoosh, draining some of his energy. She then aims the Rod at Kamek, returning him to his correct age.

Kamoosh: This is getting nowhere. If only I could hit them both at once. Say, where did the Rods go when Mario was hit anyway? If they were in his pockets that means... I'll just use the Speed Rod.

Kamoosh pulls the Speed Rod back out and goes running at Kamek, carefully dodging spells cast by Kamek and Kammy on the way. He manages to hit Kamek square in the chin.

Kamek: Ok then, how do you like...

Kamek grabs a Rod from Mario's pocket.

Kamek: ...the Plant Rod!

Kamoosh is gripped by a large vine.

Kamoosh: What? Feel... weak.

Kamek: You should, that vine is absorbing your very life energy.

Baby Mario: Goo?

Kamek: Be quiet child, first I must deal with this foolish traitor.

Kamoosh: This looks like... the end... Mario... I'm sorry I couldn't help you more... I did... my best.

Of course, by this time, Baby Mario is able to get the Body Modi Rod and restore his age (sneaky little guy).

Mario: Oh no! Kamoosh!

Mario wildly check his inventory.

Mario: AHA! Think fast, Kamoosh!

Kamoosh: What's this... the Ultra Stone?

Mario: Raphael told me about this. He said i could sacrifice the stone to upgrade a party member to Ultra Rank without a Super Block. I always thought it was pointless until now.

Kamoosh: Mario...

Kamek: This is touching and all but can we get on with this? I have tea in an hour.

And with that, Kamoosh's desire to live became fierce. So fierce that he is able to get the Ultra Stone to him with his mind.

Kamoosh: Oh great spirits! I beseech thee! Give me the power to vanquish evil!

Mario blasts the other party members with the Body Modification Rod.

Fice T: Cool!

Boomus: Now that we can, let's help!

Boomus and Columbus weaken the vines with fire attacks. It doesn't destroy the vines, but it helps Kamoosh concentrate. Fice T. has an early tea with Kamek to distract him while Hammer sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and drags Kamek's unconscious but still alive body aside. Lastly, Goombario is battling Rescue Guy. Finally, Kamoosh reaches Super rank. He turns to Kammy and smiles.

Kamoosh: Now, we end this.

Kammy: (back to old power) Let's fight!

Within two hits time, Kammy is defeated (she has 10 HP after all). After Kammy is defeated, Kamoosh sneaks up on Kamek and grabs him, then begins twirling the Magikoopa with his new move, Hurricane Spin. The hero eventually throws Kamek away into the distance, then grabs Kammy and does the same. Mario and the others take the Rod, but Rescue Guy takes it back. He goes running with it, but Kamoosh quickly catches up and throws him too. Mario grabs the Rod.

Goombario: Now we just have two left!

Kamoosh: Let's get going.

The heroes rush out of the Toybox and into Toad Town. They go down into the sewers easily and enter the warp pipe to Shiver City. When they come out, they discover its now hotter than Desert Land and Dry Dry Desert combined and Morton is developing something huge.

Kamoosh: I wonder what's going on here...

Hammer: Since I was with Bowser and all, I know this one. Morton is working on launching the Mushroom Kingdom into the sun.

Read on!

Credit goes to Martin, Miles "Thumbs" Power, Waluigi's Twin, Bobby, and Huge Iggy fan for writing, editing, suggesting, or in any way enhancing this story.

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.