Author's Note: First of all, I won’t
hold it against anyone who skips to the prologue… I know I would. Now,
just so you know what to be expecting, the Mario Bros. and Wario Bros.
will be working together - but I never said that they would be happy with
it! They find these four magical hammers that trapped an ancient Boo. They
release the boo by accident, and then are cursed by the hammers until they
can fix it. I can’t go too deep into the plot, as I don’t want to spoil
it for you, but if you want a good laugh, read on.
I would like to thank the following
people:
- My mom, for allowing me to type this
up on the family computer
- Nintendo, for making the Mario and
Zelda series
- The entire staff of The Legend of
Zelda: Four Sword Adventures
- Lemmy Koopa, for considering the
idea of this story, and therefore helping me decide to actually go with
it
- Miyamoto, for creating both of the
series’ characters
If you want to post this story on your
website, Email me at adambutler@cox.net me and I’ll probably say yes; I
really just want to know who has it for the thanks section just above here.
Well, thanks to those of you who actually read this, and enjoy the story.
Prologue: The Legend of Titaniboo
Long ago, before Mario and Luigi set foot in the Mushroom Kingdom, long before the evil Koopa Klan terrorized the Mushroom Kingdom, long before the Mushroom Kingdom was even on the map, there lived a small tribe of Toads. These Toads were known as the Hammer Keepers, guardians of a set of four magical hammers capable of protecting them from even the most fearsome of enemies. These hammers were known as the Quadramashers. The Hammer Keepers were a peaceful tribe, and hoped that they would never see the day that these four mighty hammers would have to be used.
However, that day came. A mighty ghost
known as Titaniboo suddenly appeared one day, and threatened the tribe’s
existence. The creature rampaged through the village without any warning,
until the only hope remained in the Quadramashers. Four warriors whose
names have been forgotten by time took up the duties of the hammers and
waged a mighty battle with the beast, forcing him into a small shrine.
They then smashed all four of the Quadramashers into the ground at the
same time, sealing away the evil Boo for so long as the Quadramashers remained
in their resting place. The shrine was then deemed a place of remembrance
for the tribe, and the tribal leaders placed a monument for all that approached
the shrine, telling the tale of the brave heroes, the evil Titaniboo, and
warning all not to disturb the legendary hammers. However… greed rarely
heeds the words of the wise…
Chapter One: Enter the Hammer Heads
Wario and Waluigi were hunting for treasure in the Koopahari Desert one day, searching for whatever would make them richer. The sun was beating down with nothing in sight but endless sand dunes, and their shirts were so full of sweat, you could fill up a bucket between the two of them.
“It’s to hot!” Waluigi complained. “Let’s just turn back! There’s nothing here, and besides, Mario might be out here!”
“Oh, shut up!” Wario said as he looked around. “Nothing is more important than money! Besides, if Mario shows up, well, I’m-a Wario, I’m-a gonna win!”
Waluigi just rolled his eyes and did as Wario said. Besides, he knew it was futile to argue with Wario whenever he had even the slightest hint that a single coin might be laying around.
After searching for a while, Waluigi
saw a cave. “Let’s check in there,” he said to Wario, “It’s the only thing
we’ve seen for at least twenty miles.”
Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi were in the Koopahari Desert as well. They were driving along in the Red Fire, testing out a new set of shocks they had installed. They drove over the countless sand dunes with no problem until they saw a strange stone tower right in the middle of the desert.
“What’s that?” Mario asked as he gently braked to a stop. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before.”
“Looks like something from Egypt,” Luigi replied as he hopped off of the back of the kart. “Probably nothing.”
“Let’s check it out, just to make sure,” Mario said.
“Oh no you don’t!” Luigi argued. “I am not being dragged into another adventure just as we begin to have a bit of relaxation!”
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Mario asked. “Besides, it doesn’t look like anyone has been here for years.”
“Yeah, and if you weren’t lieing to me, then no one had been in the Palace of Shadows for a thousand years, and yet you found plenty of reasons for me to be glad I wasn’t there with you!”
“Come on, Luigi! Do you really think that there will be an evil spirit that could even begin to compare to anything we’ve faced?”
“Well… Usually there are dark clouds along with thunderstorms when something bad is about to happen…”
“Well then, come on!” Mario said as
he headed into the stone tower.
Wario and Waluigi walked through the cave with no light of any sort to be found. “It’s too dark…” Waluigi complained. “I can’t even see my hand in front of my- OUCH!!!”
Waluigi stopped in his tracks. “What is it, you big baby?” Wario said rudely.
“I bumped into a wall,” Waluigi sneered. “And before you go around calling people big babies, maybe you should look in the mirror!”
“That’s it!” Wario shouted as he blindly punched around, trying to hit Waluigi.
“Over here!” Waluigi shouted before quickly moving away from the wall he bumped into. Wario punched the wall and it collapsed, revealing a torch-lit hallway made of stone.
“Ha!” Wario shouted. “I told you there was treasure here! Let’s go to the left!”
“Finally, something we can agree on.”
They took five steps into the hallway when they heard a large rumbling noise. They turned around to see that the cave they were in had collapsed.
“Way to go, Einstein! Now we’re trapped!” Wario shouted.
“Me? You’re the one who punched the wall!”
“Shut up and look for money!”
“Did you hear that?” Luigi asked after hearing a loud rustle in the distance. “It sounded like an earthquake!”
“Did you feel an earthquake?” Mario asked. “Besides, if this place couldn’t survive earthquakes, I don’t think it could be this old.”
“O-Okay,” Luigi said as he cautiously walked forward.
The tower was simply a downward-spiraling staircase inside, with torches every so often, seeming to go on for about fifty feet. When the two of them reached the bottom, they saw a long hallway with a hole in the wall to the left.
“How far can this thing go?” Luigi asked.
“I can’t even see where it ends!”
Wario and Waluigi explored the hall, which seemed almost as endless as the desert they had been in only moments ago. Finally, after about and hour, they reached a small room that was almost empty… except for a four golden statues of Toads in the corners, with a stone hammer at each of the statues’ feet.
“Jackpot!” Wario shouted. “Help me get these statues loose from these walls!”
“These hammers look strange…” Waluigi said, ignoring Wario.
“Forget the hammers!” Wario shouted. “We ain’t archeologists, you know!”
“Do you hear footsteps?” Waluigi asked, then looked at Wario and realized that nothing could take Wario out of his trance for money.
“Come on!” Wario said to himself. “Wario needs a new castle!”
“Maybe you should get a new brain first…” Waluigi murmured.
Waluigi joined Wario and the two of them had no luck removing the statues. They both heard something else in the hallway that sounded like familiar voices.
“Finally!” Luigi sighed as he and his brother reached the end of the hallway.
Mario took a step into the room and immediately saw Wario and Waluigi tugging on a statue. Wario and Waluigi saw Mario at the same time and proceeded to attack the heroic plumber.
“Who’s number one now?” Wario shouted as he picked up one of the hammers and swung it at Mario.
Mario quickly rolled out of the way as Luigi came into the room.
“Hey look!” Luigi said. “Hammers!”
“Good idea!” Mario shouted as he and Luigi each took a hammer.
“Hey! I want a hammer too!” Waluigi said as he took the last hammer out of the ground.
All of the sudden, the whole place started shaking.
“Now that is an earthquake!” Mario said
to Luigi.
Chapter 2: Titaniboo’s Curse
Everyone stopped fighting and looked around.
“I’m too rich to die!” Wario complained. “I’m outta here!”
Wario started for the door, when all
of the sudden the quake stopped. Then, as if by some invisible man,
Wario was pushed back into the room.
The four of them heard a sinister laugh. All of a sudden, a pipe made
out of stone appeared in the middle
of the room. Out of it appeared a huge Boo wearing what looked like an
Egyptian pharaoh’s headdress.
“Gweheheh!” said the Boo as it appeared
out of thin air. “I am Titaniboo, wreaker of havoc, master of
destruction, and lord of chaos! Thanks
to you four, I have been released from that infernal prison! Now, after
ten thousand years, I’ve finally been
released by you!”
“Ten thousand years and that’s the best
villainous monologue you could come up with?” Wario mocked.
“That’s pathetic!”
“FOOL!!!” Titaniboo shouted as his eyes started glowing. He then shot lightning out of his eyes at Wario.
“Luigi, any suggestions?” Mario asked.
“Me?” Luigi said perplexed. “You’re the hero!”
“You have more experience fighting Boos then I do!” Mario reminded him.
“ENOUGH OF THIS!” Titaniboo shouted. “If you won’t pay my offer any mind, then how about a curse?!”
“You never made us an offer!” Waluigi sneered.
“I was going to ask you to be my servants
or die, but it seems like that would be more foolish of me than
letting someone put me in that prison!
Now, share each other's pain!”
The room seemed to look like a film negative for a few seconds, and then everything seemed normal.
“Ha! Nothing happened, you ugly corpse!” Wario shouted.
“Oh really?” Titaniboo asked sarcastically.
He inhaled deeply and then shot flames out of his mouth at
Waluigi.
Waluigi jumped around, trying to dodge
the flames, and shouted, “What did I do?! It’s Wario you should be
attacking!”
Finally, one of the fireballs hit Waluigi.
Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi all shouted out in pain when the flame
hit Waluigi.
“Gweheheh!” laughed Titaniboo. “This
is almost as much fun as rampaging villages! I’ll just leave you four
idiots to figure this out for yourselves!”
With that, Titaniboo flew up and vanished through the ceiling.
“Is he gone?” asked a small voice.
“Yes, he is,” said another.
“Who else is here?” Wario said as he held up a fist.
“We aren’t your enemies,” said a third. “We just wish to help you four to reimprison Titaniboo.”
“I’m not interested in ghosts,” Wario said. “The only thing I want to hunt is treasure!”
Wario tried to make a run for the door
again, but this time was stopped by four Podoboos, one red, one
green, one yellow, and one purple.
“Not more ghosts!” Wario shouted.
“You all must work together to reimprison
Titaniboo!” said the purple Podoboo. “The fate of the world
depends on your teamwork!”
They didn’t even try to hold it in…
The four of them were instantly rolling on the floor laughing louder then
a
jet plane.
“I’d rather work with Bowser again than with Wario!” Mario explained after regaining his composure.
“I wouldn’t help Waluigi if I it meant that I’d never get to go on an adventure again!”
“I wouldn’t work with that sewage head for a million coins!” Waluigi shouted.
“And I wouldn’t do anything for Mario unless you bribed me!” Wario said.
“You don’t get it, do you?” the red Podoboo asked. “He did use his curse on you, didn’t he?”
“Well, yes, but it didn’t do anything,” Mario confirmed.
“Yes, it did two things,” the green
Podoboo disagreed. “First of all, it makes it so when one of you gets hurt,
you all feel the pain.”
“Guess that means that we can’t fight
each other,” Mario realized. “But why do we have to work together?
My brother here is an expert at catching
ghosts!”
“Second of all,” said the yellow, “if
you don’t stop him by the time of the next complete solar eclipse, he will
gain near infinite power and turn the
whole world into a desolate wasteland!”
“So why do I have to work with green bean here?” Waluigi complained. “Wario and I hate being the hero!”
“Without the four who were chosen to
restore power to the Quadramashers, the seal cannot be recreated,”
explained the red Podoboo.
“The four who are chosen will see the
color of the hammer they hold as each of them should be,” continued
the green one.
“As you can see, the Quadramashers are glowing in your hands,” the yellow Podoboo pointed out.
The four of them looked at the hammer
each of them held, and saw it was true; Mario’s glowed red, Luigi’s
green, Wario’s yellow, and Waluigi’s
purple.
“Fine, I’ll help,” Mario said unwillingly.
“Same here, I guess,” Luigi agreed.
“Count me in… But don’t think that I’m going to be happy about this,” Waluigi said.
“You wimp!” Wario shouted. “There is
no way I’m doing this! I’m not putting my neck on the line just to help
out the one person in the world I hate
most!”
“You can keep the golden headdress he wears if you succeed,” the purple Podoboo offered.
Wario then turned around, put his fist
out towards Mario, then gently punched Mario on the shoulder. “Like I
was saying,” Wario said, faking a smile,
“no one messes with my buddy Mario… except me!”
“So how exactly do we restore power to these hammers?” Luigi asked.
“Well… we’re not even sure if the power source still exists,” the red Podoboo admitted.
“It has been over ten thousand years since it was last used…” the green explained.
“It was unique, only one of its kind,” the yellow picked up.
“Shut up and tell us what it is already!” Wario complained.
“Well, I doubt you’ve ever heard of
it,” the purple started. “But it is known as…”
Chapter 3: Preparations
Author's Note: From now on, the four
Podoboos will be named by color.
“…the Shrine of Unity.”
“So where exactly is this Shrine of Unity supposed to be?” Mario asked, eager to get this adventure over with.
“It isn’t a physical shrine,” Red stated. “It is made of pure energy and appears in the middle of this room when the four statues you see in the corners of this room are completed.”
“Way to go, fatso!” Mario shouted at Wario. “Now we have to fix these statues!”
“You should talk, sewer brains!” Wario rebutted. “You’re the one that removed the first hammer!”
“Stop it, you two!” Red and Yellow cried in unison. “The statues need the representations of the hammers you now hold. They aren’t complete because they are missing the Quadramashers.”
“So we need to find copies of the hammers to put into the statues?” Luigi asked.
“Sounds simple enough, we'll just make new copies,” Waluigi commented.
“That won’t work, they aren’t copies,” Purple added. “They are representations of the Quadramashers, and if they’ve been destroyed, hope is already lost.”
“Well, only one way to find out,” Wario said. “How do we find them?”
“There is one in each of the four compass directions,” Red started, “where our villages used to be, and may still be existing today.”
“Let’s go east, then,” Luigi suggested, “so we can stop by the castle to get supplies.”
Wario and Waluigi gave each other a slightly worried look. “And what are we supposed to do?” Wario asked. “It’s not like the princess is just going to let us into the castle after what happened last time.”
“So it was you that sabotaged Peach’s kart!” Luigi said. “Guess I owe Mario fifty coins then.”
“I told you, Luigi,” Mario smirked. “Bowser would have just destroyed it completely. Besides, I was just kidding about the bet.”
“I’ll take the money then!” Wario jumped into the conversation.
“Let’s focus on the Shrine of Unity,” Purple reminded them. “If you are going to the east, then I believe that would be the Earth Temple.”
“Why do I feel like someone put me in the wrong game by Miyamoto?” Mario asked. “When is the next solar eclipse anyway?”
“I’m sure we’ve got plenty of time,” Waluigi commented. “They are pretty rare, after all.”
“Still, we'd better make sure,” Luigi
said. “And I know just who to ask for help.”
After a long and very crowded ride in the Red Fire, the Mario Bros. and Wario Bros. arrived at the castle. When they got out, they saw a large crowd of Toads circled around a dome-shaped object with a propeller on top.
“What’s that?” Luigi asked. “Did Professor Gadd make a new invention or something?”
Some Toads spotted the Mario Bros. and ran up to them to explain. “It’s a miracle! He just appeared here, unconscious. Then, when he finally woke up, he was stuck!”
“He who?” Wario asked.
The group of Toads all started murmuring amongst themselves, shocked at the sight of Wario and Mario that close to each other and not challenging the other to a competition of some sort, and most of them just plain scared of Wario.
“Hey! I’ve been a hero before!” Wario complained.
“Name one time!” said a Toad with orange spots.
“You, a hero?” said another with blue spots.
Then a little Toad, about three years old, said, “You big liar, you the most meanest me-” Then, the little Toad’s parents came up to it and picked it up, shielding it from Wario.
“They’re waiting!” Waluigi said. “There has to be at least once. I mean, you have to have been forced into doing something nice at least once.”
After a few minutes, Wario grinned and said, “What about that time that Bowser locked the Stupor Mario Bros. in the castle and I saved everyone?”
“That was Yoshi, we had to force you to help after Luigi saved you!” Mario commented. “Although I don’t see why we needed you, we could have gotten by just fine on our own!”
“Hey! That’s right!” said a muffled, however familiar, voice from the strange machine. “You were the one who took that one Star from me when no one could remember who took it! I was beginning to wonder if there even was a fourth hero!”
“BOWSER?!” the four of them shouted in disbelief.
Luigi went up to the machine, and saw that it was a Klown Kopter turned upside down. Bowser had his face in the dirt, nostrils just above the soil, allowing him to breath, but only out of his nose.
“Wait a minute!” Bowser shouted (or at least tried to, anyway). “Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi, not attacking each other? Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any weirder. After that mutiny and seeing everyone in my army fighting each other, I thought that something weird was happening. I’ve got it! By Mario and Wario not arguing, they’ve upset the natural order of the universe! Ha! I’m a regular Einstein, right?” Bowser asked the question threateningly.
All of a sudden, E. Gadd came running out of the castle screaming, “It’s horrible! I tried to stop them, but even with all my experience, I didn’t even phase them!”
“What in the world is going on here?” Mario asked, but to no avail as the crowd only got louder and harder to distinguish.
“EVERYBODY PUT A MUSHROOM IN IT!!!” shouted Waluigi, and the crowd then was silent.
“Okay now, Bowser,” Luigi said, “since I’m sure everyone is eager for the princess’ dungeon to get its first use, we’ll start with you. Tell us everything that happened.”
“Why would I help you out?” Bowser asked. “I’m not talking, there’s nothing you can do to make me!”
Wario took out his Quadramasher and ran towards Bowser with a menacing look.
“Okay! I’ll talk!” Bowser said. “Just don’t let boogers for brains there hurt my beautiful shell!”
Mario couldn’t help but laugh at Bowser’s comment, so he did so. “Sorry about that. Please, explain.”
“It all started when I was dreaming about killing you,” Bowser started. “I was really upset when I woke up to the sound of Wendy’s whining before I could even see the Thwomp crush you two plumbers. She was complaining about not having enough bows, a normal complaint from her. I told her to go ahead and steal some from Monstrotown. I had a grudge against those quitters anyways. I got up, ate some fried Goomba, and-”
“We’re getting nowhere with this,” Luigi interrupted. “Just tell us what you meant when you said this day couldn’t get weirder.”
“I’ll get there when I’m good and ready! Now, where was I? Oh yes, Ludwig said he lost track of Wario and Waluigi around noon, after that last tennis tournament,, I went ahead and placed some tracking devices on their clothes, and believe me, you don’t even want to imagine how rarely Wario takes them off. Ludwig said it was due to some super natural interference of some sort, but to be honest, I didn’t really care, I was just thinking about getting revenge on you two.
“So then, everything was very peaceful for about fifteen minutes, Roy didn’t even try to kill Larry once! Then, it happens, I hear Bullet Bills being fired, Bob-ombs exploding, and all my troops shouting, and so I figure that you mistook me for another one of the princess’ captors. But when I get out there to give my monologue, I see my troops fighting each other! Podoboos igniting Bob-ombs, Boos chasing Goombas, Dry Bones attacking Koopa Troo-”
“I’ve got it!” Prof. Gadd interrupted. “All of the troops that betrayed you were your ghosts and other undead minions, weren’t they?”
“Shut up and let me finish already! So then, when the Hotfoots started to burn the castle down, I decided to just run away and start life over. After all, I had a few 1-Ups to spare. I got in this Klown Kopter, started to flee from the battlefield, and then this giant pharoah Boo started to chase me! I turned around to throw Mechakoopas at him, but they went right through him. Then, the Boo’s eyes started to glow an eerie light, and next thing I know, a tornado dropped five feet in front of me, sucking me in and shooting me out. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by Toads that are singing ‘The Wicked Witch is Dead’ all around me.”
“That explains everything!” Gadd said. “Someone has unleashed a terrible ghoul that even I thought was only a myth! It’s name is-”
“Titaniboo,” the four plumbers and the Podoboos interrupted.
“Why, yes,” Gadd said, surprised, and then he spotted the Podoboos. “And that means that those four Podoboos there must be the four Toads that originally defeated him!”
“Guilty as charged,” joked Yellow.
“Then we'd better hurry, we’ve only got five days!” Gadd exclaimed. “And this onslaught of Boos isn’t just going to try to scare us, they want to-”
“Put an end to life as we know it?” Bowser asked. “I really, really would like to get out of here now…”
“Precisely!” Gadd said. “Which is why I need to tell you, some Boos stole the portrificationizer and-”
“Released all the ghosts again?” Mario asked.
“Actually, no. They only took three: King Boo, Boolosus, and Vincent Van Gore.”
“Well, come on and get me out!” Bowser shouted.
“But that means that we’ll have to fight two of the toughest Boos ever and- wait a minute!” Luigi exclaimed, “Why did they take Van Gore?”
Gadd shrugged and said, “It doesn’t matter. I decided to release a ghost myself and ask her for help, but then, when I went back, the machine was gone! It wasn’t broken, sabotaged, or even left as ashes of a burnt down machine, it was just, gone!”
“Who in the netherworld were you planning on letting out?” Luigi asked in a very confused voice.
“Madame Clairvoya, of course, the only ghost I’ve ever known to willingly go into the Poltergust 3000.”
“We can help you with that,” Red said, “although we can’t put any of the ghosts back into the paintings.”
“Well then,” Waluigi started, “what
are we waiting for?”
Inside Gadd’s lab, the professor pressed a tile on the wall, revealing a set of Poltergusts, model 3002! “Before we go in any further, we’ll need these,” Gadd explained as he handed one to each of the four rivals and then took one for himself. “The lab is infested beyond belief,” Gadd explained. “Luigi, would you lead us?”
“Me?” Luigi asked. “Mario’s the leader!”
“Nonsense, my boy!” Gadd argued. “You’re the one who knows how to use the Poltergust best!”
“He’s got a point, Luigi,” Mario agreed. “So, who we gonna call?”
Luigi smiled, and went forward into the lab. Despite the professor’s warnings, the lab was surprisingly empty. Nothing was there, the only things out of place were the paintings and the machine the ghosts had stolen. Luigi grabbed Madame Clairvoya’s picture, and then the Podoboos burnt it up, releasing the elderly ghost.
“What was that?” Madame Clairvoya asked. “I saw flames and then my afterlife flashed before my eyes! I thought that those Podoboos had it in for me, and then-”
“What do you make of this?” Luigi asked as he handed his Quadramasher to Clairvoya.
“It seems as though you’ve been interrupting people a lot today, Luigi, and the reason behind it seems to be the fact that you’re upset about losing a bet to your brother. I also see- NO! It can’t be, I see the sun setting, never to rise again! I see forests ablaze, lakes gone dry, whole cities in ruin! I see a Boo, one with power that is stronger then King Boo by over a thousand fold! Then, this item loses its power to speak to me. Anyone have anything else they found near this?”
The others all handed her their Quadramashers,
and she continued. “I see that you need four hammers, each part of a statue
that powers an ancient shrine. The first you should seek is to the east,
where a recently dethroned king awaits. The next, to the south of the shrine,
where a powerful monster disguised as treasure holds the next one, then
to the west of the shrine and our current location, there lies the third,
as well as an old friend. Lastly, to the north, I see the remains of an
evil that once controlled another great evil that you have fought. And,
after all this is done, I see this horrible titan of evil that claims to
be ruler over all Boos, but my strength ebbs away, I do not know where
he lies.”
Chapter 4: Who the Boo who Rules the Boos, and who the Boo that Cries Boohoo?
Meanwhile, right after Titaniboo terrorized Bowser, Titaniboo was in his hideout. Titaniboo was anxiously awaiting the arrival of his servants, knowing that they should bring along a whole army of undead troops. But he really didn’t care about the army… he would have been just as happy with five Boos doing his bidding at the time, as that was all he really needed to get what he wanted. The hideout was dark, too dark to see anything other then what little bit of the place was near Titaniboo’s supernatural glow. He flew into a hall. It was still to dark to see much, but there were columns every few feet, and a red carpet was in the center of the entire hall, which went from the room that Titaniboo came from, all the way down a flight of stairs and into another room.
When he got to the bottom, he was unable to go through the stairs and into the room they led into, but he knew why. “It’s me!” Titaniboo said in an annoyed, but yet not threatening voice.
“Took you long enough!” said a voice from inside the room. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever be released! Did the slaves bring someone?”
“No, I figured you had a particular request,” Titaniboo said, still outside the door. “You always have been pretty picky, and if I’m going to rule the wastelands with you, I wouldn’t want to be fighting with you about who I got.”
“Actually, there is someone, I had in mind,” the mysterious woman said. “Her name is Peach; she is the princess of a very recently founded kingdom, not even a thousand years old. She is the one I want to take, if not just for the fact that her body is strong, then mainly for the fact that I want revenge on her. Besides, I heard the one that captured your brother lives there.”
“I will command the slaves to return to the castle as soon as they arrive. And what about the seal?” Titaniboo asked, “Why won’t you remove it?”
“I don’t have much of a choice; someone named Mario renewed the seal.”
“Mario, Mario… I think I’ve heard that name before. Oh yes, he was one of the four imbeciles that released me.”
“I want him destroyed.”
“He is not a threat to us, we will make him and his three friends suffer first, let them fail in their mission to stop me. Besides, I like toying with the minds of mortals.”
“Do not underestimate them! I made the mistake of underestimating just one of them, and now I have to wait even longer before we can complete our plans.”
Titaniboo chuckled evilly, and then flew back up to the first room he was in. A large group of Boos was there with four objects with them: King Boo’s portrait, Vincent Van Gore’s portrait, Boolosus’s portrait, and the Portrificationizer. Titaniboo released all of them, starting with Boolosus, and ending with King Boo.
“Finally! About time someone let me out of there! Now, I com-” King Boo started shouting until he looked at Titaniboo. “I come here to help you, Brother. I sincerely thank you for-”
“Shut up and explain yourself, King’ Boo!” Titaniboo shouted. “Why didn’t you release me or your sister-in-law?”
“First of all, in case you didn’t notice, I was trapped in a painting,” King Boo complained. “And second of all, not all of our so-called ‘slaves’ are so obedient.”
“What do you mean our slaves?” Titaniboo quirked. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t just put you back into the painting right now!”
“Please, forgive me,” King Boo said, “I can help you!”
“And what possible help could you possibly give me?”
“Because, I know where one of the statues is!”
“Very well then, you have one chance! But before you go, I would like my gem back.”
“Fine, didn’t seem to help much anyways.”
King Boo handed over his crown to his older brother, who then put it in an indentation on his headdress.
“And if you fail me,” Titaniboo said as King Boo was about to fly away, “I will personally make sure that being stuck in a painting is the least of your worries.”
With that, King Boo flew away, taking Vincent Van Gore with him. Boolosus was about to go too, when Titaniboo told him to stop.
“What did we do?” Boolosus asked nervously. “Please, it wasn’t our fault! Nothing can go right when we have to follow the orders of your moronic brother!”
“That is why I want you to do something completely different,” Titaniboo explained. “I honestly couldn’t care less about the Quadramashers, they are no threat to me! I just figured I’d let him fail, that way I could give myself time to think of a more, appropriate punishment for him.”
“Very wise, Master,” Boolosus said. “And what do you want us to do?”
“First of all, if you want to refer to yourself in a plural form, and then separate first, it really annoys me when you refer to yourself as a ‘we’ when I only see one Boo in front of me.”
“Please forgive u- we mean me, please forgive me.”
Titaniboo sighed and then continued. “My wife wants to use the body of one named Peach. She is in the castle you were imprisoned in. Bring her back, and you will be second only to my wife and me.”
“A simple task, Master, I can do that before sunset,” Boolosus said. “We, er, I shall not fail you, Master!”
[Can anyone guess who Titaniboo’s wife
is yet? If so, I’ll give you everything in my pocket! What? I need to get
rid of this lint somehow!]
Our heroes, as well as the Wario Bros, were following the Podoboos to the first temple. The area nearby was a dark, spooky forest.
“This is it,” Green said to the four heroes. “This is where my village once stood.”
“I know I’ve been here before!” Luigi shouted. “That shed! That’s where E. Gadd’s old laboratory was!”
“Hey, I remember this place too,” Mario said. “This is where the Boos made that ghost mansion and turned me into a painting.”
Mario pondered for a brief moment, then pulled out the Gameboy Horror SP and asked Gadd, “Why is it that I could still move while I was trapped in a painting, but none of the ghosts could?”
“I’m not quite sure,” the professor admitted. “An interesting conundrum. After this is all over with, I’ll have to look into that.”
“So where’s this Earth Temple?” Waluigi asked. “All I see is a worn down shed.”
“It’s underground, follow me,” Green explained. He led them through the shed and into the room where Gadd had originally put King Boo’s portrait. Green burnt the wall that King Boo’s portrait used to hang on, and behind it was a door with a hole in it shaped like a Quadramasher.
“We won’t be able to help you inside of there,” Red explained. “Only those who have a Quadramasher, and those who once held the green Quadramasher, may enter. We’ll wait here while you five go on ahead.”
“Luigi, would you place your Quadramasher into the hole, and then remove it?” Green explained. “After that, you shall face one of the four trials, the other three are in the other temples. After you pass each of them, the respective Quadramasher will regain its power.”
Luigi did as he said, and the door opened. The four heroes along with their flaming guide went on ahead. Inside, they could see a huge room with four torches in the center, each of the flames black. Out of them appeared four Podoboos, all laughing sinisterly.
“So you’ve returned,” one of the black Podoboos said. “I thought that you would never come back. I’ve been waiting here ever since you and your friends left us here!”
“What is he talking about?” Wario asked. “I’ve never even seen you.”
“He was talking to me,” Green explained. “He’s a dark copy of me, and the others are of those of my friends.”
“Correction, we are superior parts of you, which you foolishly decided to throw away,” said one of the black Podoboos (they all look the same).
“No one calls evil superior so long as my brother and I still stand,” Mario said. “The last time Bowser did that, I gave him so many bruises, his bruises had bruises.”
“A fine challenge, plumber,” a black Podoboo said, “but you will fail!”
“How did he know that we’re plumbers?” Luigi asked.
“I’ll explain later,” Green said. “Watch out!”
One of the black Podoboos rushed towards Luigi, who quickly dodged out of the way. Wario was the first to try to strike back; he took out his hammer and swung it at the Podoboo that had tried to attack Luigi. The Podoboo shattered into smoke.
“That’s it?” Wario asked. “This is too easy!”
But he spoke too soon, as the Podoboo quickly reformed. The Podoboo then set fire to Wario’s hat. “Yeow!” the four heroes shouted. [Titaniboo’s curse, remember?]
Wario threw his hat on the ground and stomped out the fire. Wario then turned around to see that the four black Podoboos were still there.
“You can only harm the one that matches the color of your Quadramasher!” Green shouted. “Luigi, go for the one that just burnt Wario! Mario, behind that one and to your left! Wario, there’s one behind Mario, get him! The last one is yours, Waluigi!”
They tried to do as he said, but the black Podoboos still reformed. The black Podoboos laughed and merged together into an Antifryguy, a mixture between an Anti Guy and a Fryguy. Mario, undeterred, threw his Quadramasher at the resulting Shy Guy, but it flew right through him. The Shy Guy inhaled deeply, and then exhaled flames.
“I don’t remember ever seeing a Fry Guy or a Shy Guy do that before,” Mario said. “Any advice, Green?”
“I hate to say it, but this is nothing like what happened to us when we faced this trial, we simply had to fight our dark selves,” Green said, confused. “But then again, they weren’t Podoboos at the time, and neither were we.”
“Any ideas, Green Bean?” Waluigi asked.
“I just told you, I’m sorry but we have no idea what you’re up against,” Green re-emphasized.
“He was talking to me,” Luigi explained, “and I do have one.”
Luigi pulled out his Gameboy Horror and scanned Antifryguy.
“Could you guys wait a sec?” Luigi asked. “The GBH is having some trouble getting a lock on him.”
“Light!” shouted Gadd over the GBH. “You need to shine sunlight on him!”
“Great,” Wario said. “Simple enough, we just wait outside the temple for a few hours, then come back in, and then we beat them up!”
“It’s not that simple, I’m afraid,” Green explained. “If you fail the test once, you can never attempt it again, and if you leave a temple before you complete the test, you fail it.”
“Then what do we do?” Mario asked.
“Let’s try everything,” Luigi said, pulling out his Poltergust 3002. They looked a lot like the 3000, but the backpack part was a lot smaller, and there was a small slot on that part as well.
The flames that the ghost spewed out were sucked into the machine, but the ghost itself was unaffected. Luigi kept at this, simply happy to know that they didn’t have to worry about the flames for now. Wario and Waluigi, however, weren’t satisfied with this. Wario picked up Waluigi, and Waluigi kept his body straight as a rod. Wario then used Waluigi like an Olympian pole vaulter would use their pole, and then ground pounded on top of the Shy Guy. Needless to say, the four of them yelled in pain as Wario’s pants caught fire.
“Could you please stop doing that?!” Mario exclaimed. “We aren’t going to get anywhere with a mindless Bros. Attack!”
“That’s it!” Luigi shouted, “Mario, can you still do the Firebrand?”
“Yeah, but what will fire do to a Fryguy?” Mario asked.
“Then let’s do something a bit more advanced than that,” Luigi hinted.
“I get what you’re saying!” Mario agreed. “Wario, Waluigi, can you two give us some cover for a second?”
“No problem!” Waluigi said, sucking up the flames as Luigi had done earlier.
Mario shot fireballs to Luigi who, in turn, hit them with his Quadramasher into the air. Mario hit each of them with his hand to freeze them in midair. Then, the fireballs kept powering up the first one, until finally, when it was large enough, Mario hit it into the Shy Guy. Then, the four of them used the Poltergust 3002s to finish up the job. The Poltergusts all beeped, and out of the slot came an instantly developing picture.
“So that’s what those slots do,” Waluigi said.
The four torches lit up green, and a hole appeared in the floor.
“Ready, everyone?” Mario asked.
“Wait!” said Green. “Only Luigi may enter there.”
“Okay, as long as the ghosts are gone,” Luigi said.
With that, Luigi jumped down the hole and into a large round room. In the center, which he was standing on, there was a small hole, surrounded by a picture of a large mountain. Luigi started to place the Quadramasher’s handle into the hole when all of a sudden, King Boo appeared out of no where and laughed sinisterly.
“Fool! You’re not supposed to place the Quadramasher in there!” King Boo started. “You’re supposed to take this from the hole!”
King Boo held up the statue of the green Quadramasher, although it could have been mistaken for any of the Quadramasher’s statues, as it was made of gold.
“I’ve been doing nothing but planning your demise ever since I was trapped in that infernal Poltergust of yours until the very moment that I was released from the wretched painting that you locked me in!” King Boo monologued. “But now, you’re all alone, and you will regret the day you ever rescued your older brother and angered my wrath!”
“‘Angered your wrath?’” Luigi quoted. “You didn’t come with anything prepared this time, did you?”
“Actually no, but this turn of events works quite nicely!” King Boo laughed. “Not only will I be one step closer to being able to reimprison my brother, but I’ll be able to exact my revenge on you as well! I’ll be making myself two servants with one stone! But, unfortunately, I don’t have time to make you suffer as much as I’d like, so I’ll just have to turn you into one of my servants a bit more quickly. Prepare to face my wrath!”
“Wait, Titaniboo is your brother?” Luigi asked.
“Well, he may not have my stunning good looks, but we are brothers, yes,” King Boo stated.
“If you want to reimprison him, why not just help us?” Luigi asked.
“Because I need to catch him off guard!” King Boo explained. “When I hand him the four Quadramashers, he’ll think he’s safe. Then, during the day while all the guards are asleep, I’ll activate the shrine myself and take what should be mine! I will become the ruler of the Boos once again! And besides, even stealing my annoying older brother's power isn’t as important to me as getting my revenge! Also- wait a minute! Why in the afterworld am I telling you my plans? Now you’ve really angered my wrath!”
All the while, unbeknownst to King Boo, Luigi was scanning him with the GBH, and he found that King Boo was considerably weaker this time.
King Boo inhaled, and then let out a burst of flames. Luigi simply jumped over them, and towards his target. Luigi started up the Poltergust and aimed at King Boo. King Boo, however, didn’t get sucked up that easily. Instead, he created several illusions of himself, and lost himself in the crowd. Luigi kept trying to suck him up, but had no luck. Luigi then got a bright idea. He used the thunder hand to light up the room and blind King Boo. King Boo was dazed, and the illusions disappeared. Luigi then proceeded to finish the job with the Poltergust. Although weakened, King Boo managed to break free. He had, however, dropped the statue. Luigi quickly picked it up and got to the opposite side of the room (not that the room has sides, but you get the picture).
“My brother is not going to be happy with this…” King Boo said as a beam of light shone on Luigi and carried him up to the first room. King Boo, however, wasn’t as lucky… as Vincent Van Gore had been told to spy on King Boo, and, since King Boo had been weakened by the battle, Van Gore was able to drag King Boo back to Titaniboo’s hideout with ease.
“Good job,” said Red. “Let’s go ahead and activate it before we go to my village. Besides, there’s no way we’ll make it there by nightfall.”
“True, and the Boos won’t be able to attack us as long as we stay in the Temple of Unity,” Yellow added.
“The what?” the four plumbers asked in unison.
“Where we had sealed Titaniboo away,”
explained Purple.
Once they had got back to the Temple of Unity, Luigi placed the statue’s missing hammer into the hands of the statue that Green said was of himself. Then, Luigi’s hammer started to glow brighter then before.
“You can now summon the powers of the Hammer Quake at will, Luigi,” explained Green. “But be careful where you use it, as you may end up hurting your friends as well as yourself.”
“Not that there’s much of a difference between the two,” Mario joked. “So what took you so long down there?”
“Well, you’re not going to believe this,
but I’ll tell you anyway,” Luigi started, and then explained the battle.
Soon thereafter, back at Peach’s castle, Boolosus was terrorizing everybody. Before he got the princess, he tied up E. Gadd. Then, he kidnapped the princess, and took Prof. Gadd with him.